1 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:05,222 . 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:08,660 - Today is the start of a brand-new corporate initiative: 3 00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,011 "Going the Extra Smay-zle!" 4 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,490 - A couple questions. - Mm-hmm. 5 00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:16,059 - What is a smayzle, how do you go the extra one, 6 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,582 and what if you probably weren't going 7 00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,889 the standard amount of smayzles to begin with? 8 00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:24,502 - Uh, I think it's supposed to be "Going the Extra Smile," 9 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,287 'cause that rhymes with "mile" 10 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:29,159 and we have "aisles." - One interpretation. 11 00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,726 - Basically they just want everyone to start 12 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,728 making small talk with the customers. 13 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,384 - Oh, come on. It'll be fun! 14 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:40,866 You just put on your best Cloud 9 smile... 15 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,172 And then talk about whatever. 16 00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:45,175 You know, ask them about their purchases 17 00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:48,091 or ask about their Thanksgiving plans. 18 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,658 Oh, you can talk about your pets. 19 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:51,181 - Does that include exotic pets? 20 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,748 - Oh, Sandra, for the last time. 21 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,707 There's nothing exotic about a cat with dementia. 22 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,535 - The point is, 23 00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:01,452 human connection is what sets us apart from online retailers. 24 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:02,975 That's our secret weapon. 25 00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:06,022 - Oh, so this is how corporate plans on taking down Amazon? 26 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,069 By having Sandra talk about her dying cat? 27 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,114 - He has plenty of time. 28 00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:15,814 ♪ 29 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:19,514 - Ugh. I hate making small talk with old people. 30 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,385 It's always a two-hour fiasco about their children 31 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,474 or what race they're worried about getting robbed by. 32 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,086 - It's so weird how they always have the most time to talk, 33 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,088 and yet, the least time to live. 34 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,219 - Mm. 35 00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,742 Rock - Yeah. 36 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:34,181 Boom! Have fun. 37 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,532 Hi. - Hi. 38 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,229 - This lady is going to be helping you out today. 39 00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,665 - Okay, thank you. - Oh, thank you. 40 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,930 - Hello. both: Hi. 41 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,630 - Oh, I'm great. - Good. 42 00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,719 - We're in town visiting our son. 43 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:53,156 He's in medical school. - That's lovely. 44 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,506 - You wouldn't believe some of his stories. 45 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,769 I'm just going to give you the top ten. 46 00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:01,947 - Ah, that is a fantastic drill you're looking at. 47 00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:05,255 - Yeah. What's the difference between this one and the F590? 48 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,648 - Uh, you know, well, 49 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,302 they--they both have their pros and cons. 50 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:12,132 You know, this one is red, 51 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:13,872 so that's a plus-- 52 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:15,309 if you like red. 53 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:19,574 It also drills, like, super deep holes. 54 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:22,054 Uh, or--or less deep, you know, 55 00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:25,710 if you just don't push it in all the way. 56 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:26,929 - Hello there. 57 00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:29,758 I just wanted to say thank you for supporting 58 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,326 local retail instead of shopping online. 59 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,024 - To be honest, I probably would've bought this on Amazon, 60 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,547 but I needed it today. - Ah. 61 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,332 - Oh, you know they have same 62 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,637 - Okay, nobody asked you. 63 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,291 - Don't you have to pay for Prime? 64 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:42,814 - Ah! - Oh, it's totally worth it. 65 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,208 You get free shipping plus movies, music. 66 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,644 - We--we've got music. 67 00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,820 Go check out our CD selection. 68 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,822 It's all on clearance. 69 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,303 Wait, what are you doing? Don't--don't put it back. 70 00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:55,479 - No, I don't want it anymore. 71 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,481 - Well, too late. You touched it, you bought it. 72 00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:01,398 - Yup, yup. It's pretty comfortable. 73 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:06,316 He's on his feet all day at the hospital. 74 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,405 Did I mention he's in medical school? 75 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:11,234 - Mm-hmm, you did. Quite a few times. 76 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,453 - Uh, my hand just touched your leg, 77 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,846 but didn't mean anything. 78 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,370 - I know. 79 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,546 - You know, my cousin deep-fried a turkey last year, 80 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,200 but he didn't thaw it completely. 81 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,462 Huge explosion. 82 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,203 Bunch of his face just melted clean off. 83 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,682 He's had to have a ton of surgeries. 84 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,902 We keep telling him he looks good as new, but 85 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,078 really, he kind of looks like one of those baseball mitts 86 00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,340 from the 1920s. 87 00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:34,344 Anyway, be safe. Gobble 88 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,260 - Is that your idea of going the extra smile? 89 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,957 Talking about your cousin with no lips? 90 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,263 - Uh, he has lips. 91 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,743 They used them to reshape his eyebrows. 92 00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:42,787 You know, forget it. 93 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,224 This is a stupid initiative anyway. 94 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,355 - Hey, I'm there with you. 95 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,661 I do not like small talk, 96 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,402 and I hate smiling all day like an idiot. 97 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,273 - Yeah, well it's harder for you with that weak face. 98 00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,753 How is my face weak? 99 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,450 - I don't know, it's just not strong. 100 00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:55,322 - It's as strong as yours. - Oh, please. 101 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,019 I have complete musculofascial control. 102 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:59,064 When I was seven, I corrected my own lazy eye. 103 00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:00,370 I could out-smile you any day. 104 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,937 Okay, whatever. 105 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,765 - No. 106 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,854 - Yeah, that would be stupid anyway. 107 00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,812 I mean, how would we even test it? 108 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,379 - See who could smile the longest, 109 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,425 but I don't see how we'd enforce that. 110 00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,165 - It'd have to be the honor system. 111 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,819 - Yeah, the honor system would work, but 112 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,691 why would we even do it? What're we doing it for? 113 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,780 - I like Scotch. 114 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:19,607 - So do I. 115 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,522 I guess we're doing this? 116 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,263 - I guess so. - On three. 117 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,526 One, two, three. 118 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,791 - God, you have a creepy smile. 119 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,706 - So this one, if I'm remembering correctly, 120 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:34,274 has a metal half-ratcheting chuck 121 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:37,102 for superior bit-gripping strength. 122 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,321 Yeah--oh, there it is, right there. 123 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,583 I was right. 124 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,106 - One question is... 125 00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,847 Are these backwards compatible 126 00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,285 with the older generation 18 127 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,591 'Cause I'm installing a... - Guess how he scored on his-- 128 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,811 - Oh, God. - An AC unit in my shed, 129 00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,552 and when it comes down to-- 130 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,944 - Oh, okay. Oh, God. 131 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,122 Scores only go to 528. That's it. 132 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,950 - Hey, guys. 133 00:04:58,994 --> 00:04:59,995 What are you doing here? 134 00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,562 - Oh, how do you know... 135 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,824 - This is who we're visiting. 136 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,347 It's our son who's in medical school. 137 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,435 No--no, no. This is-- 138 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,523 - Hi! Hi, I'm Jonah. 139 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,873 It's nice to meet you. 140 00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,311 - Oh. 141 00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:13,530 . 142 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:16,185 - ♪ You've got someone there to say ♪ 143 00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,100 ♪ I'll show you 144 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:24,498 - So, uh, just to clarify, this is your son? 145 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,413 - Right. - Mm-hmm. 146 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,066 - Oh. 147 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,460 And--and how long have you been in medical school? 148 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:31,896 I'm a third year. 149 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,682 - Wow. Three years. 150 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,379 That's...wow. 151 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,250 - Listen, do you carry men's briefs? 152 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,644 We need a men's small or a boys' husky. 153 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,385 I think we can probably 154 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,039 just find it on our own, so thank you 155 00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,867 so much for all of your help, 156 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,217 uh, kind madam. 157 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,175 - Okay, uh--thank you. 158 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,527 - Children's underwear in aisle 12. 159 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,920 - Hi, I need to return this. 160 00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:59,141 It was a...anniversary present for my wife, 161 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,535 but...I don't need it anymore. 162 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,407 Oh, you know what? 163 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,670 We don't take back engraved jewelry. Sorry. 164 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,672 It was really expensive, 165 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,544 and now I've got to pay for a divorce 166 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,328 and I don't have a job anymore 167 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,939 because her new boyfriend is my now-ex-boss. 168 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,550 - Yikes, that's rough. 169 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,901 - It's not funny. I'm going through hell. 170 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,859 My life is literally hell. 171 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,818 - Hey, man, I don't think it's funny, 172 00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,689 I'm just in this contest-- 173 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,474 - Yeah, screw you! 174 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,172 - Um... 175 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,783 I don't need this dog collar anymore. 176 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,746 Mm-mm. 177 00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,225 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 178 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,403 - Oh, Dr. Simms. Where are Richard and Marilyn? 179 00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:46,362 - Uh, I told them I needed a new 13-pin phone charger, 180 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,364 so that should confuse them for a little bit. 181 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:52,063 Uh, look, I know this may all seem a little weird... 182 00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,935 - Insane. Cuckoo Bananas. 183 00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,937 - Okay, uh, long story short: 184 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,329 I dropped out of business school, 185 00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,896 my parents kept asking me what my plan was, 186 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,595 and I didn't want to tell them I was working at Cloud 9-- 187 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,466 that's not a judgment on working here. 188 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,599 It's just my parents have really high expectations. 189 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,470 - That's so weird. It was my parent's dream 190 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,472 that I would stock shelves for a living one day. 191 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,256 - Anyway, I told them that I was thinking 192 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,043 about going to medical school, which I was...kind of, 193 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,653 and then one thing led to another 194 00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:19,264 and now I'm doing my rotation in hematology. 195 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,443 - I think it's-- uh, it's the study of blood-- 196 00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:26,620 or not--mm, not blood itself, but, like, the vessels or-- 197 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,360 I don't know. I have to Google it again. 198 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:30,232 - Got it. So they're in electronics? 199 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,625 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, wait, wait. 200 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,496 You're--you're not going to say anything, are you? 201 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,019 - Oh, come on. Give me some credit. 202 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,630 I'm not going to out you to your parents. 203 00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,501 Okay. - But I do think 204 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,372 it would be highly irresponsible to let them leave 205 00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,418 without getting more embarrassing childhood stories. 206 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,464 Ideally, they have photos. 207 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,378 - No, no, that's-- you don't need to... 208 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:49,556 - Hello there. How's your day going? 209 00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:50,861 - Fine. 210 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,950 - Wow, you've got quite the full cart, huh? 211 00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:57,999 You got a shovel, a tarp, and some duct tape and... 212 00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:01,742 kitchen knives and garbage bags... 213 00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:04,048 and a saw? 214 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:08,096 Whoo. Big Thanksgiving plans? 215 00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,533 - Just a small dinner with my mom. 216 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,840 We have a lot of catching up to do. 217 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,494 Where do you keep your bleach? 218 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:19,281 I think we're actually out of bleach. 219 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,544 - It's fine. I'll get it online. 220 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,763 - No! 221 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:26,375 Wait, we--we have bleach. It's aisle nine. 222 00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,508 - You've been very helpful. 223 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,552 Thank you. 224 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:35,819 - His older brothers convinced him it was a nude pool. 225 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,867 And so everyone at the Radisson saw his tiny little tush. 226 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,566 - Okay, well, everybody's tush was tiny at that age, so-- 227 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,786 - He was so embarrassed that he tried to hide under the water 228 00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:49,093 until everyone left, and he... He almost drowned. 229 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,400 - Jonah was always almost drowning. 230 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,880 - True. - It was a cry for attention. 231 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,186 - Okay guys, I don't think the nice sales lady 232 00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,666 needs to hear all of this. 233 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,190 - You know, actually, the more I know about your life, 234 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,323 the more able I am to direct you to items 235 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,238 that would assist you in your living space. 236 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,066 - I don't see how that's helpful. 237 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:07,416 - Well, you've never worked retail, so... 238 00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,374 - Well, he's in medical school. 239 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:10,593 - He is. - Mm-hmm. 240 00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,204 - So, tell me about extracurriculars. 241 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,424 I'm thinking captain of the football team? 242 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,947 - Not exactly. 243 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,735 I would have never guessed that. 244 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,260 - Excuse me, do you know anything about drills? 245 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,436 - Oh, God, no. Ew. 246 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,617 You know how you always tell us 247 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,141 not to leave the Sudafed case open, 248 00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:38,578 especially when teens are around, 249 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,623 'cause one of them might distract you 250 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,669 with skateboard tricks and all of their friends 251 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:45,976 will come and steal all the Sudafed? 252 00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,325 Well, that happened. 253 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:50,111 Are you serious? 254 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,808 - Guess it is kind of funny. 255 00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,376 I was so scared that you'd be mad at me. 256 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,291 - No, I am mad. You're an idiot. 257 00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,772 "You're an idiot! I'm so angry!" 258 00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:03,298 I love our jokey "I hate you, 259 00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,343 but I really love you" back-and-forth. 260 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:08,956 - No, this is not a joke. I really, really hate you. 261 00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:11,698 - I "hate" you too. 262 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,656 - He would brush the hair 263 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,397 of these strange horse figurines 264 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,704 hour after hour, and then when we'd take them away, 265 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:18,792 he'd start crying. 266 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,663 - Oh. - He was always crying. 267 00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:24,493 - Hey! I am so glad to see that you're engaging with customers, 268 00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:27,322 but I need you to go empty the rat traps. 269 00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,716 They're overflowing with-- - Okay, I will get on it. 270 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,501 - No, I was talking-- - No, Glenn, I want to do it. 271 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,895 - Because... 272 00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,548 I love it. 273 00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:40,509 Okay. Knock yourself out. 274 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,642 Um, if she's doing the rats, 275 00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:45,122 then I need you to go clean the men's washroom. 276 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:48,778 Someone did not make it to the toilet in an explosive way. 277 00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,301 - Excuse me, why are you telling him 278 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,694 that he should clean the bathroom? 279 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,522 - Because I'm the one who did it, 280 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,829 uh, and you caught me red-handed, 281 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,483 so I'm gonna go ahead and take care of that 282 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,485 and see you guys at home. 283 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:04,707 - We're his parents. 284 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,840 - Oh--oh, my! 285 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,364 Oh, it's... It's so nice to meet you. 286 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,714 We have a lot of employees go through this store... 287 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,846 - Glenn! 288 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,238 - But it has been such a pleasure-- 289 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,979 - Oh! 290 00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,851 - Ow! 291 00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,330 Why? 292 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:23,160 . 293 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,554 - ♪ Your kiss is on my list 294 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,947 - ♪ Because your kiss - ♪ Your kiss 295 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,426 ♪ Is on my list 296 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,515 ♪ Because your kiss is on my list ♪ 297 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:31,734 - I'm sorry. 298 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,127 You were about to give away his secret, 299 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,737 and I didn't know how else to stop you. 300 00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:37,348 - So you pegged me in the face with a yam? 301 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,002 Why didn't you just shout, "Hey Glenn, 302 00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,091 I really need to talk to you?" 303 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,614 - 'Cause that wouldn't have worked. 304 00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,138 - Oh, yeah. 305 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,706 Hey, so, uh, let me explain. 306 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:49,534 - I already told him. - Yeah, I don't get it though. 307 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:52,886 Why are you lying to your parents about working here? 308 00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,018 - I just--I didn't want to disappoint them. 309 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,455 - Why would your parents be disappointed 310 00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:58,848 about you working at Cloud 9? 311 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,545 - No I--th-they, they, they, well-- 312 00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:04,245 - Because they're crazy people. Their expectations are insane. 313 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,768 - Yeah. - They wouldn't have been happy 314 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,074 unless he was president. 315 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,772 - Yeah. - That's ridiculous. 316 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,556 You're too short to be president. 317 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,863 Even Jimmy Carter was 5'10". 318 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,473 - It's a good point. 319 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,127 Glenn, do you mind if I clock out early 320 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,781 so I can leave with them? 321 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,785 - Sure, I guess. - Thank you so much. 322 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,744 - And why did you throw it at my face? 323 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,790 Why didn't you just throw it at my legs or my chest? 324 00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:31,794 - Because it had to be the face. 325 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,535 - Yeah, I know. 326 00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:38,192 It's too bad, 'cause that really hurt. 327 00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,237 - ♪ Coming down 328 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,762 ♪ The world turned over 329 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,589 ♪ And angels fall 330 00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:48,071 - So you've just been lying to your parents for three years? 331 00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:50,073 - You're a psycho. You're, like, psychotic. 332 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,075 It's like... 333 00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,251 Psycho much? - He's not a psycho. 334 00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,297 He's just a wuss who's still afraid of his parents. 335 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,907 What are they going to do, take you off 336 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,604 their cell phone plan? - I'm not on their plan. 337 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:00,954 We're on a shared family plan, 338 00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,694 which actually saves them money. 339 00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,131 And you guys are telling me 340 00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,785 none of you have ever lied to your parents? 341 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,308 - I once stole money from my mom, 342 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,092 and then I broke a window and flushed her jewelry 343 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,833 down the toilet to make it look like a robbery. 344 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,182 - Hmm. - I used to tell my parents 345 00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:14,097 I was meeting friends at Imo's Pizza, 346 00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,448 but really, I was eating alone at Imo's Pizza. 347 00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,276 - My parents still think I'm straight. 348 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,497 I could be straight. 349 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,281 Oh, my God, a football. 350 00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,805 Throw! 351 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,415 - But at some point, aren't you gonna 352 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,851 have to tell them you work here? 353 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,461 - Not necessarily. 354 00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,637 I mean, why upset them when I'm not going to be here 355 00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,682 that much longer anyway? 356 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:36,772 - I don't know, but it's not like 357 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,034 I'm going to be here forever, you know. 358 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,427 This is all temporary. 359 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:42,647 - Oh. It's all temporary. 360 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,345 - No, no, not at all, no, I-- 361 00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:48,044 there are definitely parts of this job that I really like. 362 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,612 I just don't know where my life is going. 363 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:51,961 - Cool. - That's not--I-- 364 00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,310 - I have to go put bait in the rat traps. 365 00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:56,009 - No, you don't have-- - I love it. 366 00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:59,403 I hate to see her go, 367 00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:02,885 but I love looking at her butt. 368 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,845 See? This is easy for me. 369 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,152 - Garrett, hey. 370 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,546 - Hey, Tiffany! Wow. Long time no see. 371 00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,635 - Yeah, it's been, like, three and a half years. 372 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,072 That long. What have you been up to? 373 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:19,989 - Well, mostly raising this little guy. 374 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:24,428 Garrett, this is Jaylen. Jaylen, this is your daddy. 375 00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,690 - Hi, Daddy. 376 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:30,913 ♪ 377 00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,697 - So you tracked down my ex-girlfriend 378 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,264 who I haven't seen in years 379 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,266 and paid her to say I was the father of her child 380 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,312 just so I would momentarily stop smiling 381 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,357 and you could win a stupid bet? 382 00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,490 - Hey, when I play, I play hard. 383 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,666 - Huh. Okay. All right, let's do this then. 384 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:48,670 Someday, all the birds you have are gonna die. 385 00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:49,932 - Doesn't bother me. 386 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,934 You're bad at sex, and your penis is weird. 387 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,457 Really? 388 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:56,721 - Yeah, every time we had sex, I was horny again by noon. 389 00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:59,159 - Interesting. Interesting. 390 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,204 - I just don't want to pay for two boxes of crackers 391 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,510 when I only bought one. 392 00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,816 - It was 1987. Please, can we let it go? 393 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,951 - Hey, um, we're leaving, so... 394 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,779 - Yes, thank you for all the help. 395 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,172 - Yeah, we told the cashier 396 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,043 that you helped us, so... 397 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,219 - Great, well, we don't work on commission, 398 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:18,091 but I appreciate it. Have a heavenly day. 399 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,919 - No, wait, Amy. - No, I think her name 400 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,181 is Gabriella. - No, no, no, no, Mom. 401 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,965 Actually, it's Amy. 402 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,185 Um, she switches her name tag all the time, and I know that-- 403 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,577 - Jonah, you don't have to do this. 404 00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,275 - Because I work here. 405 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,235 - He does. 406 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:35,456 Yup, he works in the café all the time. 407 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,806 He brings his med books, and he studies-- 408 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,590 - No, no, no that's-- that's not true. 409 00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:45,553 I have been working here as an employee for three years. 410 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,513 This is my job. 411 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,081 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 412 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,604 It's just a lot to process. 413 00:15:56,042 --> 00:16:00,611 Oh! 414 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,004 - It's okay. 415 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,614 Listen, we're gonna get through this. 416 00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:07,836 - Okay, Mom, uh, people are staring. 417 00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,272 Could you... 418 00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,535 - Look, we just want what's going to make you happy, 419 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,495 and if managing this store makes you happy, 420 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:15,757 then we're happy. 421 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,541 - Oh, I'm--I'm not the manager. 422 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:18,760 I'm just a floor worker. 423 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,286 - I'm just gonna sit for a second. 424 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,162 - This is hard to watch. 425 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:34,471 . 426 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,474 - There is no easy way to say this so, here it goes. 427 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,302 You're fired. 428 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:40,956 - Yup. 429 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,481 You are grossly incompetent and unpleasant to be around, 430 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,614 so why don't you just go be a doctor 431 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,398 or something else great. 432 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,748 - Okay, I--I see what you're doing here. 433 00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,273 - No, I said get out of here, Jonah! 434 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:57,451 Go chase your dreams and let imagination be your guide. 435 00:16:57,494 --> 00:17:00,019 Glenn, um... 436 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:03,500 I appreciate whatever this is, 437 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,154 but you don't have to worry about me, okay? 438 00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,504 I'm--I'm staying. 439 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,073 - Okay. 440 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,554 But I know that things have been rocky 441 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,469 between you and your parents lately, 442 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,166 so if you need a father figure... 443 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,386 - No, that's--thank you, thank you. 444 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,388 I really--that's kind, but, um, I'm okay. 445 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,129 - Yup. 446 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,348 - Because we could go out back and throw a ball around or... 447 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,394 - That's--that's okay. 448 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:30,353 - Hey, um... 449 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:33,182 listen, don't be too mad at Jonah. 450 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,097 I mean, if you think about it, 451 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,839 he wants to please you so much 452 00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:41,408 that he spent three years constantly lying to you. 453 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:42,887 That's got to make you feel good. 454 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,847 - Yeah, not really, no. Mm-mm. 455 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:49,981 - Well, look, he was lying about his job, 456 00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,505 not about who he is. 457 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:54,377 He's a good person. That is real. 458 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,901 She's right. 459 00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:59,556 I mean, if he's happy and Natalie is okay with it... 460 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,862 - Well... - We should be happy too. 461 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,081 - You're right. 462 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,212 Who's Natalie? 463 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,084 - His fiancée. 464 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,871 Oh, I didn't know... 465 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:14,745 uh, and how long has-- has he been fiancée'd? 466 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,530 - Well, um, they've been dating 467 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,314 about three years now. - Three years. 468 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,403 - Mm-hmm. 469 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,449 - Wow, that's--that's-- that's as long 470 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:25,104 as I've known him. Um... 471 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,410 I'm sorry, I'm just-- I'm very weirded out 472 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:28,672 that I have never met her. 473 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:29,891 - Well... - Well, we haven't either. 474 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,284 She's always off somewhere filming. 475 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,546 - No, she's an actress. 476 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,418 Have you seen "The Garden States"? 477 00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,855 - Mm-hmm. 478 00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,770 - Natalie... 479 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,250 I'm sorry, what's her last name? 480 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,165 - Portman. 481 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,645 - Mm-hmm. 482 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,516 - Natalie Portman. - Right. 483 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,476 - Jonah told you that he's engaged to Natalie-- 484 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,391 - Natalie Portman, mm-hmm. 485 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,915 - Oh, my God. 486 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:56,047 He was lying. He was lying about that too. 487 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,049 - Oh-- - No, I don't--I don't know. 488 00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,355 - I knew it was weird. I knew it. 489 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,791 I read in that magazine article 490 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,271 that she was married to some dancer. 491 00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:05,622 Actually, now that I am thinking about it 492 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:09,104 I have seen Natalie in our store. 493 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,194 - And she was all up on Jonah. 494 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,328 Now--now I get it. It totally makes sense. 495 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:19,941 It was so nice meeting you people. 496 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,072 - Well... 497 00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:22,726 that explains why she wouldn't hug me 498 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:23,988 in the airport that time. 499 00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,730 Who? 500 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,079 - Do you ever think about all the things 501 00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,777 you can't do 'cause you're in a wheelchair? 502 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,171 - Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do. 503 00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:37,045 Your sister Denise is a lot prettier than you. 504 00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:40,266 And that's why your mom gave her the grandfather clock. 505 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,616 - Hmm. You may have a point. 506 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,834 Do you ever think about 507 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:45,227 how no one's ever going to love you 508 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:47,011 and you're going to die alone? 'Cause personally, 509 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,361 I think you are going to die alone. 510 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,754 - Oh. Well, speaking of alone, 511 00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,278 remember that time when you were a kid 512 00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:55,019 and your dad abandoned you at a gas station? 513 00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,065 - Yup. Mm-hmm. 514 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,198 It's hard to forget. - Yeah. 515 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,638 Why are we doing this? - It's a bet. 516 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,248 This is fun. 517 00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,381 - So, yeah, no, I told my mom I was "going to a movie 518 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,426 with Natalie Portman," and she thought I was seeing 519 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,341 a movie with Natalie Portman, 520 00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,952 and she was so happy and proud. 521 00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,999 - And she believed you, which is the weirdest part 522 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,914 because you are so out of her league. 523 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:23,178 - I am. I'm completely out of her league. 524 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,485 Well, no more secrets. 525 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,704 Except, of course... 526 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,184 - Yes, no, obviously. 527 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,056 I mean, we don't-- you know, just until... 528 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,363 we know... - Right, I mean, we-- 529 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,366 we wouldn't want anybody to... 530 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,107 to... 531 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,112 - Hey, guys, uh... 532 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:47,202 so Jonah and I have kinda been dating. 533 00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,726 - Okay. 534 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,380 - Hasn't that been going on for a while? 535 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:55,384 - No--well, yes, but we'd been keeping it secret. 536 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:59,040 Now we're...announcing it. 537 00:20:59,083 --> 00:20:59,910 - Yep. 538 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,177 - Nothing. - We just thought you'd... 539 00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,397 Never mind. 540 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,051 - Okay. 541 00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,662 I lost my favorite pen. 542 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:15,665 It's a blue pen. The ink is also blue. 543 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,319 - Click. 544 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,538 - On it. 545 00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:21,454 - Wow. I gotta say that was underwhelming. 546 00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:23,978 - Yeah, I thought that'd be so much bigger.