1 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,529 - And that's pretty much it for this morning. 2 00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:08,791 Except remember to be 3 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,619 on the lookout for jilted lovers. 4 00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:14,188 We'd like to break the streak of revenge stabbings 5 00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,320 this Valentine's. 6 00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:17,626 Any questions? 7 00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,236 - We can't hear anything you're saying. 8 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,542 - What? 9 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,761 - We can't hear anything you're saying! 10 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,763 - I'm sorry. I--I'm having a hard time 11 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,243 hearing you over the birds. 12 00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,549 - Maybe Dina shouldn't have brought 13 00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,333 her loud, dirty birds into work. 14 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:32,162 - The birds are suffering severe separation anxiety. 15 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,643 What am I supposed to do? Leave them home alone? 16 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,646 - I mean, traditionally, that is what you do with pets. 17 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,128 - If Dina can bring in her birds, 18 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,347 I'd like to bring in my cat. He's very sick with dysentery. 19 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,827 - This is insane. It smells 20 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,481 like Toucan Sam's butthole! 21 00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,309 - Just because you eat something fruity, 22 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,180 doesn't make your butt smell fruity. 23 00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:51,703 - For birds, it does. 24 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,532 Small berries pass through them virtually undigested. 25 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,491 - Okay, good meeting, everyone! 26 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:57,492 all: What? 27 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,238 - Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, 28 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,501 today we celebrate St. Valentine, 29 00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,720 a priest who was beaten, stoned, 30 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:11,114 dragged through town, and decapitated. 31 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,682 Some say the color red represents the pools of blood 32 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,423 around his body. 33 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,730 Cute teddy bears are 15% off. 34 00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:20,776 - What are you getting me for Valentine's Day? 35 00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:22,430 - Is it Valentine's Day? 36 00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,127 - Mm-hmm. You didn't get me something? 37 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:25,172 - Do you have any Valentine's Day cards 38 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,260 for my wife 39 00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,609 that are cheaper than this? 40 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:30,351 - Well, that one's a dollar, so, no. 41 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:33,571 - Forget it. I'll just text her. 42 00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,573 - Love is in the air. 43 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,140 - Oh, come on! 44 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,099 Don't go all cynical on me. This is a big day. 45 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:43,364 This is our first Valentine's as... daters? 46 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,322 Not really a good word for an adult relationship. 47 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,194 - No, boyfriend/girlfriend makes us sound like 48 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,543 we're in 8th grade. 49 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,892 - Lovers is gross. 50 00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:52,590 - Ugh. Partners? 51 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,724 - What are we, lesbians that own a candle shop together? 52 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,726 - Fair point. 53 00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:00,598 - My main squeeze? - Don't do that again. 54 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,165 - No? - No. 55 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,210 - You don't like that, main squeeze? 56 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,298 - I don't like that, main squeeze. 57 00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:05,516 - Give me a squeeze. 58 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,170 - How much would it be for just one Post-It? 59 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,825 I don't need the whole pack. 60 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,436 - It's not how it works. 61 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,438 - If any of you guys don't have plans, 62 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,179 I'm going to an anti-Valentine's Day party 63 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,615 tonight with some college kids. 64 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:20,444 Should be a ton of ween and the flyer says 65 00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,142 no one shall be turned away. 66 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,230 - I'll go. 67 00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,709 Jerry's working late again tonight, 68 00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,711 so I'm on my own. - Wow, again. 69 00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:28,191 It's funny that a sign spinner 70 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,279 would keep those kinds of hours. 71 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,672 - I know. - Sandra? 72 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:31,847 Do you have any plans for tonight? 73 00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:34,284 - Nope. Nuh-uh. 74 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,807 Not seeing anyone, 75 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,636 so I'm just gonna hang alone in the ol' apartmentito. 76 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,943 - So sad. - Isn't it? 77 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,339 - Hey, Dana? 78 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,515 So I don't know what you thought you saw 79 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,256 me and Jerry doing during the blizzard. 80 00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,171 - Oh, I know what I saw. 81 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,825 It was like Winnie the Pooh with his head in the honeypot. 82 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:57,307 - What had happened was I had spilled coffee on my pants, 83 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,570 so I took them off to dry, and Jerry came over to help, 84 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,747 but he tripped and tipped over into my crotch, so-- 85 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,489 - Stop, please. 86 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,622 I'm not gonna tell anyone about your little affair. 87 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:12,670 - Okay, thank you. I hate having secrets, 88 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:16,587 although the sneaking around has made it even sexier. 89 00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,937 - Nope, nope, nope. That's gross. 90 00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,462 - He comes over every night, 91 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:24,595 and sometimes we make lasagna together 92 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,684 and eat it off each other's bodies. 93 00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:29,513 - Elias, I'm gonna need you to clean up the vomit 94 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,254 that's gonna be all over the ladies' bathroom 95 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,821 in about three minutes. 96 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,825 Go on. 97 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:40,698 - Everyone's calm. No eye contact. 98 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,831 - Seems like a lot of work just to buy some chips. 99 00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:46,835 - I'm not gonna let some stupid birds 100 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:51,405 stop me from getting my morning Takis. 101 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,885 - You know we sell Takis in the store, right? 102 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,584 - Uh-huh, but I like the little ones 103 00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,542 that come out of the vending machine. 104 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:02,242 - Aww, I like learning about your little rituals. 105 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,896 - So you want Cheyenne to tattoo your mom's face 106 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,508 on your back as a gift to your mom? 107 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,900 - Yeah, I was gonna go to a pro, 108 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,424 but you cannot get an appointment 109 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,903 at a tattoo parlor on Valentine's Day. 110 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,731 - Don't worry, my instructor says 111 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,559 that I'm the best in the class. 112 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:18,432 He was trained by the guy who did Steve-O's back. 113 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,868 - I'm sorry, I'm still not over this. 114 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,914 You want a tattoo of your mom, for your mom, 115 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,960 on Valentine's Day. Why? 116 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,396 - 'Cause I'm her special guy, 117 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,006 and the tattoo will be a surprise 118 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,921 for when she scratches my back while I fall asleep. 119 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:33,055 Don't make this weird. - Yeah, I made it weird. 120 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:36,580 - Which sweater makes me look more like a wise dad, 121 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,278 the charcoal or the smoke? 122 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,845 - Hmm, I think the charcoal. 123 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,500 - That's the smoke. 124 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,807 Dina's right, you don't know fashion. 125 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:48,505 - Okay. Well, what do you need them for? 126 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,942 - Oh, I'm making videos of myself for Rose to watch 127 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,770 when I'm not home 'cause, you know, 128 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,946 I work here 16 to 19 hours a day, 129 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,774 so I'm missing a lot of time with her. 130 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:57,949 - Wait, what--why? 131 00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,647 Why are working that many hours? 132 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,344 - Well, you know, I get here around 4:00 a.m. 133 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:02,911 to walk the store, 134 00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,913 and then there's the workday, and then after closing, 135 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,915 it takes me two hours to prepare my script 136 00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,612 for the next morning's break room meeting. 137 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,528 - Those are pre--prepared comments? 138 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,617 - No, I just come up with all that 139 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,358 off the top of my head. 140 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,925 Come on, Amy. 141 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:19,710 - Careful, careful. 142 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,016 - I'm being careful. 143 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:22,887 I don't need you to tell me to be careful. 144 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,759 All right, here we go. 145 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,851 - Nice job. - All right. 146 00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:34,377 You see, the trick is steady hands. 147 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,727 I was gonna be a surgeon, but-- 148 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,425 - Oh, no! - Whoa! 149 00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,078 - Uh, nope. Uh, oh. No. Uh-uh. 150 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,471 - No, no, no, no. Get the birds! 151 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,559 - I know! 152 00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,047 - No thank you, no thank you, no thank you. 153 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:54,571 - Wait, stop it! No! 154 00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,966 - No. No, wait. 155 00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,796 The birds are out! Lock all the doors! 156 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,406 They're getting away! 157 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,060 Shut the doors! It's not too late! 158 00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:06,583 Oh, God! No! 159 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,063 Don't let them get away! 160 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,978 - Oh, my God! - Come back! 161 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:12,067 Oh, no! The doors! Please! 162 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,504 Ah! My babies! 163 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,159 No! 164 00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,990 - Sebastian! Where are you? 165 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,951 Cockatrice! 166 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,040 I'm here, baby! 167 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,216 Birdie! 168 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,480 - Ugh, I feel so bad for her. 169 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,482 It's like with kids, you know? 170 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,353 You can be the best parent, 171 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,181 and then one day you forget to lock the cage, 172 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,357 and they're gone. 173 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,968 I don't put my kids in cages. That's... 174 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:46,014 - It wasn't Dina, it was Garret. 175 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,842 - What? - Yeah, it was a mistake. 176 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:50,453 Uh, he wanted these Takis. It's--you had to be there, 177 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,977 but anyway, he--he cracked the door open, 178 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,326 and the birds just all flew out. 179 00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,850 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 180 00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,417 - Hey, can you two stop scissoring each other 181 00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,201 for one second and help me call my birds? 182 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,898 - Yes, sure. 183 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:10,517 - Happy Valentine's Day. 184 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,389 - Ooh, I thought you weren't seeing anyone. 185 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,304 - It's not--I mean, it's kind of a-- 186 00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,001 it's just--it's complicated. 187 00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,048 - What are you laughing at? 188 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,180 - Oh, I was just remembering the time you wanted everyone 189 00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:24,966 to think you had a boyfriend, so you kept sending yourself 190 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,968 Valentine's gifts from Jeff. 191 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,622 - I didn't send this to myself. 192 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,493 - There's a card. 193 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,147 - No, wait. No, no. 194 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:36,107 - "To my Sandy Bear, love Antonio Lasagna." 195 00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:42,113 That's a--such a distinctive, real-sounding name. 196 00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,899 - It's Italian, probably. It sounds Italian. 197 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,597 - Mm-hmm. - Yup. 198 00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:49,643 - Now, this book is one 199 00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,427 that Nana Sturgis used to read to me 200 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,907 when I was little. 201 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,213 It's called "You Can Do It." 202 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,522 "Jimmy wants to be an astronaut 203 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,307 "and fly a rocket to space. 204 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,962 "You can do it, Jimmy! 205 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,399 "Polly wants to be an astronaut's wife 206 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:11,055 "and keep the house tidy the way Jimmy likes it. 207 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,406 You can do it, Polly." 208 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,714 Wow, I have not read this in a while. 209 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,934 Um, what else we got? 210 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,545 "Midget Sam Goes To Darkest Africa," no. 211 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,460 "Get To Know The Orientals"? 212 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,985 - Oh, man! Oh, God! 213 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,205 You do not get used to that pain! 214 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,425 Oh! But it'll all be worth it for that look at my mom's face 215 00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,949 when she takes my shirt off. 216 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,690 - Totally, totally! 217 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,999 - Uh, can you hang on for a second? 218 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,610 I just have to tell Mateo something before I forget. 219 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,613 - Oh, oh. - Hey. 220 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,353 I up. 221 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:50,138 - What are you talking about? 222 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:53,271 - Marcus's tattoo. It's way harder than I thought. 223 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,708 - I thought you were taking classes. 224 00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:57,145 - I am, but so far, I've only tattooed grapefruits, 225 00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,973 and I thought it would be the same, but it's not! 226 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,628 The skin is all mushy and bleed-y. 227 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:04,413 - Girl, don't be so hard up on yourself, okay? 228 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:07,242 I'm sure it's not nearly as bad as you--. 229 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,504 - What? 230 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,420 - That is just so amazing. 231 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:14,031 Um, is your mother a model? 232 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,120 - Uh, kind of. She used to wear 233 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,600 the Fredbird costume for the Cardinals. 234 00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,517 I can see that. 235 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,173 - Wow, that's a lot. - Yeah, what do you think? 236 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,349 I had to take down that poster of that missing kid, 237 00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,525 but I mean at this point... 238 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,614 I never should've left them in that cheap cage 239 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,615 with that crap lock. 240 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,530 This is why workplaces need 241 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,663 secure, dedicated aviaries. 242 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,360 - Dina, you can't really blame yourself. 243 00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,057 - That's sweet of you to say, 244 00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,711 but I have to take responsibility for what I did. 245 00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,626 I let my birds escape, 246 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,281 and I to live with that for the rest of my life. 247 00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,543 - Um, no, Dina-- 248 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,676 - No, it's fine. It's fine. 249 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,547 I'm already getting used to the feeling. 250 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,377 It's just like a-- like a searing gnawing 251 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,553 deep inside my soul. 252 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,121 It's very, very specific. 253 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,731 Um, oops! 254 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,428 Out of flyers. 255 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,789 - I feel guilty about the birds. 256 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:20,358 - Okay. - I just... 257 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:21,708 I just kind of need to talk to a friend. 258 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:25,450 - Oh, oh, well, I'm a friend, so talk away. 259 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:28,410 - It's just this is, like, the worst thing I've ever done, 260 00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,804 and I have no idea what Dina's going to do 261 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,675 if she finds out that it was me. 262 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,156 - Oh, listen, you--you do not have to worry about that, okay? 263 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,679 Because I am not gonna tell her. 264 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,160 This is a secret that stays amongst friends. 265 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,379 - No, I--I--I know I can trust you. 266 00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,120 I mean, it's not like you're going to run off 267 00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,426 and tell Amy or anything like that. 268 00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,428 - Oh, uh, Amy--Amy too. 269 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,473 I mean, uh, of--of course Amy too. 270 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,693 That's--nobody needs to know. 271 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,391 - You haven't told her, right? 272 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,829 - Mm-mm. 273 00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,484 Oh, hey! Hey, hey. I was looking for you. 274 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:00,703 - I was looking for you. 275 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,139 - You haven't said anything to Dina 276 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,271 about Garrett yet, have you? 277 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,402 - No, but we have to tell her. 278 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:05,577 - Uh, no, actually, we--we can't. 279 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,275 - No, no. We have to. 280 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,190 She's thinks she's the one who let the birds loose. 281 00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,887 - Uh, yeah, okay, yeah and that sucks, 282 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,759 but I wasn't supposed to say anything to you 283 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:15,283 in the first place, so now you can't say anything. 284 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,154 - So, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to just let her go on 285 00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,200 beating herself up when it wasn't really her fault? 286 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,550 - Uh, exactly. - No! I can't do that. 287 00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:24,292 How am I supposed to do that? - Just pretend you don't know. 288 00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,773 - But I do know. - That's why I said pretend. 289 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,600 - Excuse me, 290 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,386 this card has a frog and a bear kissing each other. 291 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,170 - Very good, yeah. - What's next, 292 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,564 kangaroos and sharks having full on anal sex? 293 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:36,870 Shame. 294 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,916 - Wow. 295 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,704 How's it going back there? 296 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,053 - It's... good. 297 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,882 - It's really turning into something. 298 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,666 - Uh, need more ink. 299 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,888 - What do I do? - Can't you just cover it up? 300 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,672 - Oh, yeah, sure. 301 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,152 I'll just turn it into a top hat 302 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,762 and then tattoo his mom's face underneath, 303 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,025 and then that way it's like she's a magician, huh? 304 00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,331 How's that? 305 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,333 You've never been sarcastic with me before. 306 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:06,900 I don't care for it. 307 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,427 - It's tough to watch, huh? - Yeah, it's terrible. 308 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:14,864 - I just wish there was something we can do for her, 309 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,824 make her not blame herself so much. 310 00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,782 - Yeah, I wish we-- I can do that too. 311 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,698 - Hey, what are y'all two fools 312 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,134 talking about, huh? Stuff? 313 00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,745 - Nothing. - Dina. 314 00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,659 - Dina? What are you saying about Dina? 315 00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:31,794 - Nothing, just that I wish we knew how her birds got out, 316 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,317 'cause she thinks it was her fault. 317 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:36,016 - Well, it probably is her fault, for all we know. 318 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,801 - Yup, none of us were there. 319 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,803 - Nope. 320 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,065 - You told her, didn't you? - I did not. 321 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,371 - Yes, he did. - Amy! 322 00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,199 - Dude, I trusted you! - I trusted her! 323 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,983 - Fine, you both messed up. 324 00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,029 - What about you? - What did I do? 325 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,902 - ♪ All this love 326 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:58,038 ♪ Is waiting for you my baby ♪ 327 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:01,693 all quartet: ♪ Keep the love-light glowing ♪ 328 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:05,088 ♪ In your eyes so true 329 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,177 - How much is it costing her to keep this up? 330 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,701 - It's so sad. I love it. 331 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,747 all quartet: ♪ Let me call you, sweetheart ♪ 332 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:17,100 ♪ I'm in love with you 333 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,974 - What are you doing? 334 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,802 - Not gonna need this stuff anymore. 335 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,499 - I mean, they might still come back. 336 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:25,848 They--birds have, like, 337 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,023 a great sense of direction, right? 338 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,329 - They don't know where the store is. 339 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,026 They could be halfway to Mexico by now. 340 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,723 That's assuming they didn't find their way 341 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,248 into a jet engine or an archery event 342 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,903 or a really clear window, 343 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,252 all because of me. 344 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,210 - Look, Dina, the fact is that, um-- 345 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,821 - Although, I guess it is possible 346 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,431 they could find their way back to my apartment. 347 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,867 - It is? - Yeah. 348 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,042 I mean, a few of them could've found their way, 349 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:47,391 and the rest just followed. 350 00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,045 - Well, that's awesome. 351 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,525 Let's go check it out right now. 352 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,179 - Wow, you really care about this, huh? 353 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,398 - You have no idea. Come on, let's go. Let's go! 354 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,314 - When a man and a woman 355 00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:01,536 go into a bedroom with God, 356 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,800 and they... 357 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:09,326 There comes a moment of, uh-- 358 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:12,416 between that is holy and... 359 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:21,077 - Ow! 360 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,906 No! 361 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,908 Oh! 362 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:33,089 - Wow, that--that sure is something. 363 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,570 - It's a work in progress. 364 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,398 - You think my mom will be surprised? 365 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,226 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's going to be... 366 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,227 shocked. 367 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,011 Hey Jonah, 368 00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,970 wanna see what my mom looks like on my back? 369 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,797 - No, thanks. I'm busy. 370 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,975 - Drama. - Excuse me. 371 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,282 All right, let's keep going. 372 00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,893 Oh. 373 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:59,333 Ow! Oh, God! Why? 374 00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:03,119 - Are you actually mad at me? 375 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,860 - A little bit, yeah. 376 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,166 - Wow, okay, well, 377 00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:07,994 I'm not really that happy with you either. 378 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,952 - Great, it should be an exciting Valentine's dinner. 379 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,955 - You can't expect me to side with Garrett over Dina. 380 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,523 - I was expecting you to side with me over Dina. 381 00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,525 - Why? Because you're my boyfriend? 382 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,135 - Yeah, pretty much. That's how it works. 383 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,310 - Well, not for me. 384 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,138 - Great, well, if you love Dina so much, 385 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,400 why don't you go to dinner with her tonight then, huh? 386 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,575 - Oh great, just go on and be a dick. 387 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:25,750 - Oh, come on. 388 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,361 - Of course I don't love Dina. I love you. 389 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,928 - Yeah, well, I love you too, 390 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,494 but that has nothing to do with what we're talking about, 391 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,279 and I'm pretty sure we both just said 392 00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:35,325 that we love each other. - Yeah, I know what we said! 393 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,067 - Well, I'm glad you're listening. 394 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:41,897 - Portobello! Squeedledee! 395 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,248 Russell Crow, where are you guys? 396 00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:46,989 Follow my voice! 397 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,339 - Garrett, it's okay. 398 00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,080 They're gone. 399 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,213 - Damn it! 400 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,345 - Wow, you're almost as upset about this as I am. 401 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,913 - Yeah, man, I--I love those guys. 402 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,654 - Guess I'm going to have to get used to being alone. 403 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,177 - No, Dina, you're not alone. 404 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,875 I mean... 405 00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:05,181 I'm here. 406 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,009 - Thank you. 407 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,359 You're a really good friend. 408 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,405 - No. No, I'm not. 409 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:15,148 Look, Dina, um... 410 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:17,106 I need to, um... 411 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,370 I guess I wanted to, um... 412 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,505 I wanted to give you this. 413 00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,682 - Why are you giving me $17? 414 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:31,207 - 'Cause, uh, I thought that you needed it. 415 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,557 - Well, you're just full of surprises. 416 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,038 Thank you. 417 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,518 - You know what? No, look, here's the deal. 418 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,172 This was not what I was-- 419 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,695 whoa, whoa, whoa! Dina, what are you doing? 420 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,305 - I just--I just don't want to think about the birds 421 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,350 right now. 422 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,484 You're into this, right? 423 00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,225 - Uh-huh. - All right. 424 00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:53,055 - You're--you're just not taking your clothes off. 425 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,231 - Uh, uh, eh, that gets me horny. 426 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,712 - That's new. Hot. 427 00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:04,197 - Thanks, not just for the sex-- 428 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,546 but, I mean, it was decent. 429 00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,069 - Sure. 430 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,158 - I mean... 431 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:11,160 thanks for being so supportive. 432 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,554 I guess we'll always be there for each other, huh? 433 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,077 - Yup. 434 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,688 - I mean, it was better than decent. 435 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:18,776 It just wasn't great. 436 00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,778 You know, it was fine. 437 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,563 If it were a meal, it would be like, 438 00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,652 "Oh, that's done." 439 00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,436 You know? 440 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,789 Did I climax? Sure. 441 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,144 Ah, this is good. 442 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:39,754 I think as soon as this is done, 443 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,625 I am going to be ready for round deux. 444 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,717 - Now you're probably in a lot of pain right now, 445 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,590 so you're probably not seeing it right. 446 00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,113 - That's a good point. 447 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,115 It you can see it how we're seeing it, 448 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,117 it's even better than this. 449 00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:58,164 - Yeah, and--and the reason for the hat is because 450 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,731 moms today have to wear so many different hats, 451 00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:03,604 or, like, one big hat. 452 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,781 - What was that? 453 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,217 What have you done to me? 454 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,871 - Huh? - I'm sorry. 455 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:12,134 What have you done to me? 456 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:15,572 - So to review, you released Dina's birds into the wild, 457 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,226 allowed her to believe it was her fault, 458 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,620 persuaded her to go back to her apartment, 459 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:22,797 and proceeded to have sex with her in exchange for $17? 460 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,581 - Twice. We did it twice. 461 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,192 - What is wrong with you? 462 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,629 - I just wanted some Takis, you know? 463 00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,631 Rolled up tortilla chips, bit of flavor in the morning, 464 00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:31,980 and then everything just escalated. 465 00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,590 - You know, as your friend, I'd ask you 466 00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,070 to consider your part in this, 467 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,725 which is all of it. This is all your fault. 468 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,988 - Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna tell her. 469 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,468 - No! - Good. 470 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,773 - No! Absolutely not! 471 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,601 She must never know any of this. 472 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,212 - You were the one who said he should be telling her. 473 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,170 - Yes, but that was before! 474 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,085 Before I was the friend who sat idly by 475 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,131 while her birds' murderer went off and sympathy-sexed her 476 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,828 at her lowest moment. 477 00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,830 Absolutely not! No, sir! She will not know any of this! 478 00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,571 - Wait a second, so I'm supposed to sit around 479 00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:58,963 with this for the rest of my life? 480 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,226 I can't live with that kind of guilt. 481 00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,837 - Well, too bad! 482 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,882 Find a way. 483 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,018 - While I have you, 484 00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,847 um, we said we love each other, 485 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,936 so pretty cool. 486 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,156 I'll fill you in on the details later. 487 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:20,855 - Sandra, are you sure 488 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,117 you don't wanna come to the party? 489 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,032 It's going to be, like, dong central. 490 00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,165 - That sounds really fun, but no thank you. 491 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,036 - Take the hint, Justine. 492 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,169 She obviously has big plans tonight 493 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,171 with Antonio Lasagna. 494 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,999 - Well, if you wanna crush some dong, call me. 495 00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,219 - They better have food at this party. 496 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,787 - Actually, they told me I had to bring pizzas. 497 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,702 - I really hate her. 498 00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,747 - Me too, Sandy Bear. 499 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,188 - Rose, I am so sorry 500 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,842 I couldn't be there for your wedding day, 501 00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:56,064 but I am so happy for you and your husband-- 502 00:19:56,107 --> 00:20:00,068 or--or wife or sex android. 503 00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,636 I--I don't know what the future is like. 504 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,594 Just don't make 505 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,596 the same mistakes I made, you know? 506 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,685 Spending all your time at work and missing out 507 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,252 on these precious moments. 508 00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,646 I mean, if I could go back in time 509 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,648 and do it all over again, 510 00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:16,780 I... 511 00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,304 huh. 512 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,657 I think I'm done being manager. 513 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:31,752 - So where are we going to dinner? 514 00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,101 - It's a surprise. 515 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,755 - Is it that tapas place I love? 516 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,322 It's that tapas place I love. 517 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:39,063 - You guys heading out? - Yeah, going to dinner. 518 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,935 - Oh, that sounds fun. 519 00:20:40,978 --> 00:20:43,111 I'd go with you but, uh, I've got to deal with the birds 520 00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:45,156 and their medicine and... 521 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,724 Wow, I guess I don't 522 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:50,684 have to deal with any of that anymore. 523 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:53,295 You know what? I can go with you. 524 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,819 - Oh, yeah, well-- - Oh, wow, that's perfect. 525 00:20:55,863 --> 00:20:57,778 - So where we headed? 526 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:01,738 - Uh, it's this place off of 44 called Barrel and Sage, 527 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:04,132 kind of a, um, small plates tapas thing. 528 00:21:04,175 --> 00:21:06,352 - Not gonna work for me. Not enough vegan options. 529 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:08,310 I do know of a grocery store that has tables, 530 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,964 that way we can all do our own thing. 531 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:12,923 Or, oh, have you guys ever been to Super Tofu? 532 00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:15,143 It's not great, but you do not need reservations. 533 00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:16,318 There's never anyone there. 534 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:17,972 I mean, it smells bad, 535 00:21:18,015 --> 00:21:19,800 but you get used to it as the meal progresses.