1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:01,495 . 2 00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:01,965 [quirky music] 3 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:09,635 * 4 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,177 - Hey! 5 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,482 What are you-- what are you doing? 6 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,283 - Um, just some stuff. 7 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:18,385 - No, you were-- you're trying to rob the store. 8 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,689 - Yeah. 9 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,260 - Well, you--put it back. 10 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,130 - Uh, I don't think I'm gonna. 11 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:28,058 - Wh--well, I caught you, so, y-you have to. 12 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,456 - Um, I don't think I do. 13 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:32,467 - But th-- that's how this works. 14 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,500 No, don't just--no. Don't take more. 15 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,536 - Do you have a gun? 16 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,740 - No! Maybe. 17 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:41,141 Maybe I do. 18 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,275 - Uh, I-I don't think you do. 19 00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:47,151 - Well, I don't think you do, so, you know, it's a tie. 20 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,221 What do you think about that? 21 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,751 - Okay. Excuse me. 22 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,256 - Oh. Wait! 23 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,558 No, no, no, no! No, he--no. 24 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,289 - Who is that? - He's a stealer-- 25 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:58,585 uh, thief. He's a thief. 26 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,186 - You can run, but you can't hide! 27 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:05,203 [grunts] 28 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,703 Jonah, call the police! - Right. 29 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,335 - Look who's grounded now. 30 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:13,711 Jonah, I just did a "Law & Order" type zinger. 31 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,441 Oh, he's calling the police. 32 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,506 - [grunts] - Not on my watch, buddy. 33 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:23,276 [upbeat music] 34 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,687 I saw immediately it was a 487 in progress. 35 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,389 The perp appeared to be unarmed. 36 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,761 I did not see him violate my colleague, however, 37 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,390 he could have violated him before I arrived on the scene. 38 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,526 - Is that what happened? - No, he did not violate me. 39 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:36,863 - Well, you just had such a shameful look on your face 40 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,597 when I showed up. 41 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,272 I don't know what he could have done to you beforehand, 42 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,141 but it is not your fault if he touched you. 43 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,440 - Okay, okay. Nothing happened. 44 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,211 All right? I caught him stealing. 45 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,469 End of story. 46 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,137 - And you made no attempt to stop him? 47 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:49,876 - No, I mean, I told him to stop, 48 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,510 but he didn't. 49 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,575 And then he asked me to move and just took off. 50 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,215 - Wait, I'm sorry. 51 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,190 He asked you to move out of the way so he could leave 52 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,489 with the cash, and you just did it? 53 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,191 - He--well--he said, "Excuse me," you know? 54 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,434 So it was for of, like, a reflex. 55 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,659 - Oh, wow. 56 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,604 - What is going on in this neighborhood? 57 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,659 We got robbed, Home Depot got robbed, 58 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,668 that weird store that only makes copies got robbed. 59 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,600 - I'm scared to even walk to my car alone at night. 60 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:19,706 - That is why everyone gets a rape whistle. 61 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,310 - That's a kazoo. - Yeah, we had an overstock. 62 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:26,213 So everyone gets a rape kazoo. 63 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,777 I also think we need parking lot buddies 64 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,475 so that no one has to walk to their car alone at night. 65 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,248 - I'll be paired with anyone but Sarah. 66 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,786 That girl's got, like, a huge 67 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,591 restraining order against me. 68 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:39,733 - I'll take any guy who's 6'2" with blue eyes. 69 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,860 Wait, we're talking about picking boyfriends, right? 70 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:42,855 [laughs] - [groans] 71 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,566 I'll take Justine. 72 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,328 The robbers will probably kill her before they kill me. 73 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,397 - Since I don't drive, could you assign someone 74 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,266 to walk me to the bus stop and wait with me? 75 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,274 - We're not picking. We're drawing names 76 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,436 so that it's fair. I will go first. 77 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,945 Mine is... Myrtle, so I'm gonna go again 78 00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,678 because everybody gets one re-do. 79 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:03,423 So my real one is Cheyenne, and that one's final. 80 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,621 - Can I be paired with Mateo, actually? 81 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,563 We usually go to trivia night together. 82 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,988 - Oh, you guys do a trivia night? 83 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,562 That sounds fun. 84 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,291 - I still say I got robbed last week. 85 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,696 Women do not produce eggs. That's chickens. 86 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,568 - [laughs] Garrett mocked you so hard for that. 87 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,968 He was all like, you know, funny stuff. 88 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,542 - So, like, almost everyone goes to this trivia night? 89 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:30,683 - Yeah. - Solid crew. 90 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,011 I love trivia. 91 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,345 - [obnoxious kazoo playing] Sorry. 92 00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,983 I'm not being raped. 93 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,887 I just was trying to play "Camptown Races." 94 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,320 - It's not a toy. - It is not. 95 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,857 - Dude, you need to do something about Ken. 96 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,632 He's a terrible security guard. 97 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,660 He wasn't even here this morning when the store got robbed. 98 00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,396 - Yeah, look, I know he's not the best. 99 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:54,602 But he is such a sweet man. 100 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,495 - Look, I know it sucks to fire somebody, 101 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,537 but what's worse-- Waiting for some lunatic 102 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,472 to come in here and kill a customer, 103 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,778 or having an uncomfortable conversation? 104 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,481 Security, report to Customer Service. 105 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:12,287 Security to Customer Service. - Stop it. 106 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,020 - He's taking a selfie, Glenn. 107 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,755 The dude's taking a selfie. 108 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:21,960 - My parking lot buddy is Jonah. How is he gonna protect me? 109 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,625 "Oh, stop. Don't attack us." 110 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:27,536 - I'm literally right here, Myrtle. 111 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,838 - Listen, her mind's mostly gone, 112 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,439 but she raises a good point. 113 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,771 You froze while a guy robbed the store. 114 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:36,636 - Okay, again, I didn't freeze. He was being calm, 115 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,707 so I was being calm. The robber sets the tone. 116 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,747 - Oh, so are you just going to be calm when a group 117 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,882 of methed-out serial killers stabs Myrtle to death 118 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,547 in the parking lot? 119 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:46,986 - No, because that would be a different tone. 120 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,660 - Come on. - Hey, everybody. 121 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,059 Can I get you to meet me in the break room 122 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,090 for a quick chat? 123 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,625 - Is it about your boots? 124 00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:56,662 - Uh, no. 125 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,397 Um, it's about this morning's incident. 126 00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,672 - Is that when you bought your boots? 127 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:05,872 - Just--if everybody would just meet me in the break room. 128 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,876 [pop music playing] 129 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:13,649 * 130 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,651 - Okay, so, I wanted to bring Dina up here 131 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,793 so we could discuss this morning's incident. 132 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,648 - Listen, I don't need an attaboy 133 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,588 just for doing my job, okay? But I do think it's positive 134 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,694 that this can open a conversation about self-defense 135 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,427 and how each of us need to take action-- 136 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:32,132 - What I'm saying is, don't do what Dina did. 137 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,495 - Ooh. - I'm sorry, what? 138 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,535 - He said, "Don't be like you." 139 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,710 - Dina took it upon herself to physically confront the thief. 140 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,539 And while it worked out okay this time, 141 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,444 it could have turned into serious injury, or death, 142 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,876 or God forbid, a lawsuit. 143 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:47,522 I'm obviously joking. A lawsuit would not 144 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,418 be as bad as death. The point is, 145 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,420 we have a policy for this. So if you see 146 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,152 something suspicious, report it. 147 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,386 Don't try to handle it yourself. 148 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,563 - Yeah, we all know what the policy is, 149 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,960 but what was I supposed to do? 150 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,761 Just stand there and make brown, like Jonah? 151 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,164 - What did Jonah do? 152 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,795 - Well, I didn't actually do anything-- 153 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,601 - Exactly. He just sat there 154 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,033 and watched a guy rob the store. 155 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,667 - Thank you. That is what you 156 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,872 should all do in the future. 157 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:14,414 Thank you, Jonah, for actually following protocol. 158 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:17,612 - Oh, well, yeah. I mean, you know, 159 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,005 you guys came up with the policy. 160 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,876 I just knew it and followed it. 161 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,424 - It's appreciated. - Oh, my God, 162 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,480 just sleep with him, already. 163 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,647 - What? - Okay, 164 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,185 what if someone steals a baby? 165 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,159 What then? Do you want me to just sit there 166 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,888 and watch someone take a baby? 167 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,494 - What if the baby is wearing a bomb? 168 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:34,897 Then wouldn't you want him to steal it? 169 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,858 - I'm trying to picture a scenario in which 170 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,427 somebody planted-- - Oh, what if it's baby Hitler? 171 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,767 - Oh. - That's a very good question. 172 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,072 - Is it? - I think you gotta kill 173 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,913 that baby Hitler. - Yeah. 174 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,868 - But how would you know that that baby was gonna grow up 175 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,177 to be Hitler? What if that baby was gonna 176 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:52,049 grow up to be the exact opposite of Hitler? 177 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,549 - Churchill? - No. 178 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,151 - Lance Bass. - Interesting. 179 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,923 - Oprah. - Yeah, Oprah. 180 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,751 - Oh, yeah. - Gotta save that baby. 181 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:03,757 - Gotta save it. - I'm more of an Ellen person. 182 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:09,058 It's fun when she dances. - Anyway, what I'm saying is, 183 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,096 don't be a Dina. Be a Jonah. 184 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,672 - Oh. Different. - Wow. 185 00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:16,771 - Wait, you guys. What if it's baby Oprah, 186 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,814 but the person stealing it is Beyoncé? 187 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,540 [all murmuring] 188 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:29,647 . 189 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:30,483 - Ken, you-- You know how much I love you. 190 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,789 - Oh, yeah. Yeah. 191 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,921 - But a thief just wandered into the store this morning. 192 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,587 - I know. Crazy, right? 193 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:40,987 I just heard about that. 194 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:45,028 - And I hate to be such a Sally Stickler, 195 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,495 but technically, you were supposed to be here. 196 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,996 - Yes, yes. And I'm so sorry. 197 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,968 You know, it just-- it takes me forever 198 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,536 to get going in the morning. 199 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,605 'Cause I don't believe in alarm clocks. 200 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,184 I like to wake up when my body is ready, you know what I mean? 201 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:03,122 - But we've talked about this before. 202 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,550 And I think it's time for you to go. 203 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:10,087 - Oh. - I'm so, so sorry. 204 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,663 - No, it's nothing to be sorry about. 205 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,104 - God bless. 206 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:23,239 Jerusha, how was it? I feel sick! 207 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:26,010 - All right. Here you go. 208 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:29,079 - Hey, you know, you can just take this stroller and leave, 209 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,009 if you want. Just right out the store. 210 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,784 This little girl won't try and stop you. 211 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,653 - Ow, what are you doing? - Just explaining that 212 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,183 you're a sackless wuss that would even let 213 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,647 this pipsqueak rob us. - You know what? 214 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,557 I'm just--I'm gonna go pay for it. 215 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:44,159 - Yeah, enjoy that. - Sorry. Congratulations. 216 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,661 What the hell was that? - "What the hell was that? 217 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,025 I'm a little baby." 218 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,932 - Look, I can tell you're upset-- 219 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,904 - No, you can't. - Okay, look, 220 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,873 maybe, uh, Jeff calling you out in the meeting this morning 221 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,213 was a little embarrassing-- - Uh, the only thing 222 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,838 that's embarrassing is how far Jeff is up your butt. 223 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,284 Hello, Jeff? Are you in there? 224 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,979 - Okay. - Try not to scuff 225 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,211 your ridiculous boots. - Oh, wow, right? 226 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,546 How insane-- - We are not on the same team. 227 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:15,090 - Hey. 228 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,162 Oh, turkey sandwich. 229 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,190 Hey, did you know that the sandwich was invented 230 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:24,667 by the Earl of Sandwich? - Okay. 231 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,728 - That's just a little random fact that I knew. 232 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,137 My head's full of all kinds of things like that. 233 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,739 - Who invented salad? - Good question. 234 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,372 I have another one. Remember how we were just 235 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,706 talking about turkey? Which founding father 236 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,913 wanted to make the turkey our national bird? 237 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,146 - Um-- - Huh? 238 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,880 Anyone? Benjamin Franklin, 239 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,246 who, as we all know, also invented the Franklin Stove 240 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,755 and bifocals. - Really? 241 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,288 I don't think that's true. - Well, it is true. 242 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:53,193 I know it's true because I just looked it up. 243 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,156 - Okay. [laughs] 244 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,895 - So did he invent salad? 245 00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,970 - No. No, that was someone else. 246 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,971 [music plays softly] 247 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,414 * 248 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,409 - Ken? You're--you're here. 249 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,182 - Big time! 250 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:15,282 - Okay, um, look, maybe I wasn't clear, 251 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,175 and that's my fault. 252 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,817 But what I meant to say was, 253 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,194 I don't want you to be the security guard here anymore. 254 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:26,663 - Oh. So you're thinking 255 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,734 move me over to what? Like, sales? 256 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,362 - I wasn't-- - 'Cause I do think that 257 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,027 would be a better fit for my particular skill set. 258 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,426 'Cause if I'm being honest with myself, 259 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,337 I don't know anything about security. 260 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,939 - Okay. Okay. 261 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,011 - Yes, thanks. Yes, yes. 262 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,411 [laughs] 263 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,382 - Oh, hey, Jonah. I just wanted to tell you, 264 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,181 I really liked the way you handled yourself this morning 265 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,683 with the robbery. - Oh, thank you. 266 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,745 Um, but that-- that wasn't really-- 267 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,453 - I get it. But it's just nice to know 268 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,824 we've got some level-headed, calm people working here. 269 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,094 So good job. 270 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:57,322 - Uh, hey. Hey, um-- 271 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,357 You know what? This--this might sound weird, 272 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:05,803 but, um, could you not compliment me in front of Dina? 273 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,903 - I'm sorry? - I appreciate everything 274 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,795 that you're saying, but, um, 275 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:13,107 I think Dina was a little embarrassed about what happened 276 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,810 this morning. And when Dina gets embarrassed, 277 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:19,313 she can be a bit of a bully. - Dina's bullying you? 278 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,976 - No, no. That's not what I-- 279 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,724 No, I just meant that she can be a bit of a bully. 280 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,292 - Thank you for coming forward. 281 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,960 I will talk to HR. 282 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,119 - No, no, no, no. You don't need 283 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,987 to get HR involved. No. 284 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,925 - Okay, but you understand you just informed me 285 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,801 that a superior is bullying you. Legally, that's something 286 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,799 I have to report. We've just had 287 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,101 too many suicides. 288 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,902 - Not necessary, no. 289 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:44,244 - Okay, I take no joy in getting Dina in any kind of trouble. 290 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,971 - Really? 'Cause you're--you're smiling 291 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:46,966 a little. - Am I? 292 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:53,450 . 293 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,550 - It's been brought to my attention that there has been 294 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,816 some bullying in the store. 295 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,091 I have spoken to the person responsible, 296 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,849 but I would like to remind everybody 297 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,088 that Cloud 9 has a zero tolerance policy 298 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:06,133 against bullying of anyone under any circumstance. 299 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,259 - What if you're bullying Hitler? 300 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,225 - Bullying's probably what made him Hitler. 301 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,103 - Actually, I think it was not getting into art school. 302 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,873 - Okay, can we just forget about Hitler? 303 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,542 - No, we can't ever forget about Hitler. 304 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,970 - She's right. - Okay, I'm fine. 305 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,837 I was not bullied. - Believe me, 306 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,535 If I had bullied Jonah, Justine wouldn't be the only one 307 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,247 with a broken nose. - Heyo! 308 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,379 - Okay, bullying's not just beating people up. 309 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,975 It's--it's any behavior that's hostile or intimidating. 310 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,448 - Like when your ex buys $300 boots, 311 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,845 but all he got you on your birthday was a cake 312 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,217 from the store bakery? 313 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,955 - You said you didn't want anything. 314 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,390 So, you know what, that doesn't matter. 315 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,455 The point is, we all know what bullying is; 316 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,233 harassment, name-calling-- 317 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,072 - Sometimes it seems like you're calling someone a name 318 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,098 but then it's their actual name. 319 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:50,574 I once met a Greek guy named Herpes, or something like that. 320 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,343 - I thought you fired that dude. - I did. Twice. 321 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,084 - Okay, so, what are some other examples? 322 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,980 - Moron, A-hole-- - Bimbo. 323 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,282 - Bald jerk. 324 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,253 - Herpes when their name is not Herpes. 325 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,322 - Va-Jonah. - Opus Dei. Pasty freak. 326 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:09,222 - Okay, I meant other examples of bullying, not name-calling. 327 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,886 But nobody here should be calling you those. 328 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,885 - Oh, no. That was just my doctors. 329 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,897 - How about being excluded socially? 330 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,199 - Sure, especially if they're 331 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,030 purposely targeting an individual. 332 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:20,166 - What if it was more like a group of people 333 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,870 who were planning an event 334 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,572 and they just weren't inviting a specific person? 335 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,984 - Um, I think maybe what you're describing is just a loser. 336 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,238 - Yeah. - Yeah, that's a loser. 337 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,107 - A lot of interesting opinions today, Kelly. 338 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,346 - Thank you. - Sometimes the bus driver 339 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,582 opens the door and, when I try to get in, 340 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:40,587 he drives forward a little and then I try to get in again, 341 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:44,930 but then he drives a little more and we're all laughing, 342 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,158 but still... 343 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:51,625 - Yes, that is bullying, Sandra. 344 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,074 Um... Jesus. 345 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:58,142 - [blowing nose] 346 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:01,311 [upbeat pop music playing] 347 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:06,611 * 348 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,216 - Wow. 349 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,948 You really got this firing thing down. 350 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,953 - I think he's gonna make a fine associate. 351 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:15,355 - Stop. Ow, you're breaking my arm. 352 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,888 - Just trust me. It's gonna fit, okay? 353 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,525 Stop fighting, man. [grunts] 354 00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,599 There you go. - You're right, he's good. 355 00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:26,199 - Hey, hey. - Ken. 356 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:30,073 - Hey, it's the cool kids. - Where? 357 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,273 - You. You're the-- 358 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,044 You're the cool kids. 359 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:36,313 - Oh. - So, um, any of you cats 360 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,253 heading to this trivia thing tonight? 361 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,578 - Oh, no. None of us get invited to that. 362 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,124 - That thing is lame anyway. 363 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:46,150 Hey, what if we did something? 364 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,256 Together? - Yes. 365 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:52,028 - I always wanted to try that bowling alley down the street. 366 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,389 - Yes! All right. 367 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,926 Let's do it! Bowling night! 368 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,333 - I bet they have those wings, 369 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,304 and they serve them with ranch dressing. 370 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,572 [British accent] Feels like you're British or something. 371 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,500 - Yeah. Maybe. 372 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,435 - I love bowling alleys. They're so dark, 373 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:08,682 so you can make any kind of faces you want. 374 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:12,178 - Okay. - What should our team name be? 375 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,652 - We should be the Best Friends. 376 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:18,092 'Cause we are best friends. 377 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,548 - Wow. Yeah. 378 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,287 - [laughs] 379 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:27,663 - Oh, darn it. I just remembered, um, 380 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,664 Emma has a thing tonight. 381 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,567 So... 382 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,429 I can't. 383 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,267 - Can we come? - [laughs] Oh. 384 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:41,744 Um, oh. Uh, no. 385 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,744 [music plays quietly] 386 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,277 * 387 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,323 - Hey, buddy. Guess what this is? 388 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,418 It's my first write-up. Ever. 389 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,190 So thank you so much for that. 390 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,419 - Look, I'm sorry. I genuinely did not mean 391 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,564 to get you in trouble. - Hey, it's all in the past. 392 00:15:56,589 --> 00:16:00,189 I just came over to ask you in the most polite way possible 393 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:03,057 to please clean up the spill in aisle nine. 394 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,326 - Uh, this is aisle nine. 395 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:08,004 Jesus! What is wrong with you? 396 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,535 - Oops. - You know what? 397 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,609 I'm glad you got written up. You are a bully. 398 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,509 - Well, I'd rather be a bully than a castrated garden gnome. 399 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,312 - A garden gnome? What would you even castrate? 400 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,575 - Well, who knows what's under those little pants? 401 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,412 That's not the point. The point is, 402 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,348 at least I'm not too weak to stop a simple robbery. 403 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:28,094 - That was an awkward situation. I could have destroyed that guy. 404 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,691 - With muscles like those? Come on. 405 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,662 - I'm wiry because I work out with resistance bands, 406 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,102 but believe me. They can get the job done. 407 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,098 - So, you think you could kick my ass? 408 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,730 - Your ass? Yeah, uh, 409 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,465 obviously, I could-- sure. 410 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,170 - Oh. Well, then come at me. 411 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,572 - Come at you? - Come at me! 412 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,273 Come at me, bro. - What are you doing? 413 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,805 - Oh, are you too scared? - I'm not scared. 414 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,079 I'm at work, and I don't wanna 415 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,378 lose my job, Dina. 416 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,139 - Then let's take this thing off campus. 417 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,478 - What? - Fight! 418 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,152 Fight, guys. Jonah's fighting Dina. 419 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:57,651 Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight-- 420 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,794 Guys, say it with me. It's so much fun. 421 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:03,389 Fight, fight, fight-- 422 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:09,562 . 423 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:10,426 - So what's the best case scenario, here? 424 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,832 Dina beats you up, or everyone gets to see 425 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,596 you hit a woman. - It's not gonna come to that. 426 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,295 Bullies just need to be confronted. 427 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:20,337 - There. Officially off Cloud 9 property. 428 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,083 Now we're just a couple of civilians. 429 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,380 So show me what you got. - Look, Dina, I'm not-- 430 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,112 I'm not fighting you. This is-- 431 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,377 - Why? Because I'm a woman? 432 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,115 Because if you were really a feminist, 433 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,480 you'd punch me in the face. 434 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,748 - What does that-- Okay, what are you-- 435 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,516 What are you doing? I'm not gonna do that. 436 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,585 - It's been a long time coming. - Wh-what? 437 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:39,825 - Since this morning. 438 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,489 - I--I won't-- - Wait, guys. 439 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:44,358 Just stop. This is crazy. 440 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,497 - Thank you. - Now we're good. 441 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,303 - Garrett, you don't need to-- You can turn it off, 442 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,735 because-- all: Ooh! 443 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,569 - Dina, what are you doing? - Yeah, yeah. 444 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,444 Get him to the ground. - Dina, I'm not gonna-- 445 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,543 [grunts] [cheering] 446 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,105 - Hit him! - Okay, all right. 447 00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,705 - Come on. - Oh. 448 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,376 - Stop rolling. Your skin is very smooth, 449 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,575 like a dolphin. - I don't wanna do this. 450 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:04,646 - Just fight me. - No. 451 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,354 - Come on. - Ow. 452 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:07,646 - Fight me. - Stop, Dina, get off. 453 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,387 Dina, get off! - What the hell is that? 454 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,792 - Nothing. - What's wrong, man? 455 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,533 Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 456 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,189 I'm good. I just--just gimme a minute. 457 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,457 - Did you just get an erection? - What? No. 458 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,366 No, no. - He did, it's true. 459 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,828 [chatter] We got a boner, everyone. 460 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,897 - No, no, it's not. It's--the friction 461 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,705 from the pants are really soft. - Boner. Boner. Boner. Boner. 462 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,638 Really? None of you? 463 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,144 - Nice to get off early, huh? 464 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,747 Have the whole night to do whatever? 465 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,749 - Uh-huh. - Totally. 466 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,551 - Like, maybe some laundry. Oh, no, I did that yesterday. 467 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,824 So, ugh, what to do? 468 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,492 What to do? 469 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,292 - I'll see you guys over there. 470 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,834 Let's get trivial! [laughs] 471 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,599 - All right. - Whoo! 472 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,698 - Seriously? You guys invited that girl? 473 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,171 I am way smarter than that girl. 474 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,701 - Okay, girl, what are you getting all 475 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,465 "Real Housewives" about? - I'm talking about, 476 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,944 why aren't you inviting me to trivia night? 477 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,741 - 'Cause we figured you weren't interested. 478 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:01,943 - Why wouldn't I be interested? 479 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,914 I love trivia. I love nights. 480 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,913 - You never wanna do anything after work. 481 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,805 - Yeah, you're always like, "No," 482 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,717 and then you did that weird, like, sarcastic thing. 483 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,519 - Oh, like I would say no to trivia night. 484 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,591 - You're doing it right now. - Okay, that's beside the point. 485 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,220 I said no because I was married and I had Emma to look after. 486 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,626 But now I'm separated and Emma has her own thing, 487 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,588 and I spend most of my nights by myself 488 00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,497 and I would really just like to have a social life again. 489 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,200 - Okay, great. Just come to trivia night. 490 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,573 - Okay, great. - Great. 491 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,741 - I will. Thank you. 492 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,599 - Okay, we'll see you at 10. 493 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,938 Bye! - Wait, uh, what--10:00 p.m.? 494 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:39,414 Who starts trivia at-- 10:00 p.m. is an awesome time 495 00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:42,746 to start trivia. I love that idea. 496 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,622 - Maybe you'll get that hard salad question. 497 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:48,662 - Oh. - Ooh. 498 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,887 - I'm so tired. 499 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:57,230 - Hey. - Uh, Dina, I really don't-- 500 00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:58,904 - Listen, I'm feeling so stupid for not realizing 501 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,731 why you've been messing with me so much. 502 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,237 It's like a school boy pulling your pigtails. 503 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,970 - I'm sorry? - You're still attracted to me. 504 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,405 I get the message hard and clear. 505 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,412 And hard. 506 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,014 - Um-- - Here's the thing-- 507 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,545 It's terrible timing, because I just ended this thing 508 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:16,952 with Garrett, and I need to lone wolf it 509 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,893 for a while. - Yeah, I feel like you're-- 510 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,788 - You and I are just two ships passing in the night. 511 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,691 But that's not to say down the road those two ships 512 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:27,533 won't meet up in some harbor and just drop anchor. 513 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,360 You know? - It's a beautiful sentiment. 514 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,497 - It is. - Yeah. 515 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,532 - Oh, and speaking of ships, 516 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:38,937 your mast-- very impressive. 517 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:42,341 Well done. 518 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,283 - Hey, parking lot buddy. Ready to go wait 519 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:47,783 at the bus stop with me? 520 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:51,484 - Oh, um, you know what, I'm actually gonna catch up 521 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:54,418 with the trivia night guys. - But you said it was lame. 522 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:59,034 - Yeah, I did say that. Yeah. 523 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,658 But you're good to walk alone, right? 524 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,664 We'll start buddies tomorrow. 525 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,927 - Okay. 526 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:11,436 It's just a little dark, but... 527 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:14,941 and I don't know who that is.