1 00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:02,202 . 2 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:02,936 - Thank you all for coming in early. 3 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:07,212 Uh, there's been an unfortunate incident 4 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,541 we need to discuss. 5 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,036 - Nothing. 6 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,448 I got it pierced. No big deal. 7 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,079 - Oh, wait, hold up. What are we working with here? 8 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,184 Is that a-- a snake or a lightning bolt? 9 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,086 - This is not what I'm here-- it's a guitar. 10 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,118 An electric guitar. 11 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,122 Anyway, Roger from the café, 12 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,294 as most of you may have heard, has been let go, 13 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,133 uh, for releasing a Facebook video 14 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,258 in which he was behaving in a manner 15 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,133 that Cloud 9 does not condone. 16 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,231 - Just say it; he farted in the cups. 17 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,133 - We all saw the video. I didn't see it. 18 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,395 - It's been taken down. - Guys-- 19 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,833 - I saved it. I'll send it to you. 20 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,497 - Thanks, man. - I don't understand. 21 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,836 Who even thinks of farting in cups as something to do? 22 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,412 - It's so gross! Especially in the kitchen. 23 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:44,182 - If you think about it, it's not that gross. 24 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,752 Farts are just air. 25 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:49,249 - Cheyenne, that's beautiful! - But it's not exactly true. 26 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,823 Fart air has billions of fecal particles in it. 27 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,521 I mean, that's what causes the smell--feces in your nose. 28 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,164 - I thought the gas just smelled. 29 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,719 - Fart ingredients. - Okay, no-- 30 00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,157 We don't need to do that. That's--I think the lesson here 31 00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,604 is be careful what you post on social media. 32 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,430 - Um, shouldn't the lesson be: don't fart in cups? 33 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,396 - Yes. In a perfect world, 34 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:10,235 people wouldn't fart in cups, but we live in the real world. 35 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:11,541 - Um, when you say "be careful," 36 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,242 what are we not allowed to post? 37 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,744 Because I do a lot of Instagram videos 38 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,106 and they can be pretty edgy. 39 00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,306 - No. 40 00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,548 - Then I think we're pretty good. 41 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,752 I'm gonna take a look 42 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,193 at everybody's social media, 43 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,648 make sure everything's above board. 44 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,116 - No, uh, that's not necessary. 45 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,615 Everybody here can self-police. 46 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,886 - Uh, why self-police when you can have actual police? 47 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,130 - Ha! 48 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,302 Wait, these cups? 49 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:46,641 * But even the crowd can't help me now * 50 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,544 - Hey, guys. It's your girl, Kelly. 51 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,236 Check out how many balloons this guy is buying. 52 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,349 - Kelly's Instagram videos. They're adorable. 53 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,352 - It better be somebody's birthday! 54 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,254 - Too funny. 55 00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,916 - But it probably was someone's birthday. 56 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,824 She nailed it. 57 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:06,386 - Okay, is the joke that it's so boring, or... 58 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,897 - Oh, did you guys see the one with the orange? 59 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,229 - Wait. - Hey, guys. 60 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,674 It's your girl, Kelly. 61 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,239 So I've been trying to open this orange 62 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,838 for, like, five minutes. 63 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,639 It's pretty much just unpeelable. 64 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,371 Here, watch. 65 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,807 - Okay, seriously, that is my life. 66 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,851 - I don't understand this. 67 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:29,379 I sent out a mass email to all our rewards customers, 68 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,647 you know, to apologize for... 69 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,745 the attack on the cups, 70 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,387 and look! 71 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,923 - "Dear, valued customer, 72 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,687 "when humans eat food, it's processed in the intestines, 73 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,197 producing gas." 74 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:42,799 Wow, you really took it from the top. 75 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,370 - Yeah, of course. But then look. 76 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,868 A huge number of these things 77 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,439 bounced back, and that makes me worried 78 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,199 that it's either Russian hackers... 79 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,338 - Could be them. That's their style. 80 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,612 - Or I picked up a virus 81 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,940 looking at those baptism videos, maybe. 82 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,905 - That's where they are. - Or... 83 00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,905 An employee's inventing fake customers. 84 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:02,949 - Well, because you get a dollar 85 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,223 for every rewards card that you sign up. 86 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,893 You get a dollar per Blue Card? 87 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,920 Since when? - Since always. 88 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,556 You know, so theoretically, 89 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,591 employees could just fill out a bunch of fake forms 90 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,396 and over time, it-- God, that would really add up. 91 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,629 - That's... Something I can't believe people haven't 92 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,465 been doing the entire time. - Yeah. 93 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,240 - It'd be almost impossible to trace. 94 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:23,269 - I get it. - Except... 95 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,314 Almost all of these customers 96 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,679 were signed up by the same employee. 97 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,978 Who? 98 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,349 - I sign up a lot of... rewards customers. 99 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,849 I mean, I...can't remember every single one. 100 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,281 - It's just that I noticed 101 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:38,786 they seem to have really unusual names. 102 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,919 Ned Duracell. 103 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,664 Jim Toblerone. 104 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,660 And just this morning, you signed up 105 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,862 a Martin Nestle. 106 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,904 - Oh, Martin! Uh, yeah. 107 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:50,499 I--I remember him. 108 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:53,271 Uh, good guy. Nice family. 109 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,671 - Mateo, can you think of any reason 110 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:59,513 why Martin's email bounced back? 111 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:03,042 - That's one reason. Um... 112 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,476 But another one is-- 113 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,912 a-and I'm not accusing you of this, 114 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,947 but maybe... 115 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,623 You made him up? 116 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,393 Glenn! 117 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,359 Wow! 118 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,661 I need your help 119 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,992 accessing people's social media 120 00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,497 before we have another scandal. 121 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:24,029 I feel like that lady from "Scandal." 122 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,904 Is her name Scandal? 123 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,373 - Um, can't you just do it yourself? 124 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,502 - Don't do social media. Never have. Never will. 125 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:31,838 Don't want anyone tracking me. 126 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,442 I only use the Internet for two things: 127 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,514 buying birdseed, watching porn. 128 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,513 Besides, it'll be fun. 129 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,375 Couple of gals clickin' and a-clackin' 130 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,383 around the net. 131 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,945 - Are you asking me, or telling me I have to? 132 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,654 - I'm telling you you have to, 133 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:48,016 but in a way that makes it sound like I'm asking you. 134 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,055 - Okay, then I guess I will. 135 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,599 - Yeah. 136 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,658 - Hey, guys. It's your girl, Kelly. 137 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:58,397 You know how sometimes you get a shopping cart 138 00:04:58,432 --> 00:04:59,802 with a bad wheel? 139 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,943 Well, this one has a really bad wheel. 140 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,070 AKA, no wheel! 141 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,065 - Check it out! 142 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,113 - Wheel fail! 143 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,546 What am I missing here? This is lame. 144 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:18,953 - No, I know! So lame. - It's your girl, Kelly. 145 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,616 I'm just having a little breakfast, 146 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,894 the most important meal of the day, 147 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,633 although some people refuse to eat it. 148 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,129 - All your cereals have marshmallows. 149 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,830 It's like you're a nine-year-old. 150 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,372 - Oh. - Well, they're fun, Jonah. 151 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,570 Hey, um, I might need a ride home later today. 152 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,413 Do you happen to know where Kelly lives? 153 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,738 - Uh, lemme see. 154 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:42,042 I think I heard she lives over in Soulard now. 155 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,605 - Okay, yeah, great. 156 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,714 And um, what side of the bed does she sleep on? 157 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,047 - Wh-- 158 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,981 Well, I don't-- why would-- 159 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,717 You know. - I know. 160 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:55,592 - I-I wasn't, like, trying to not tell you or anything. 161 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:56,923 We've just been kind of laying low. 162 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,687 You know, it hasn't actually been that long. 163 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,586 - Jonah, relax. It's fine. 164 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,058 I think it's great. It's great. 165 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,465 Kelly's sweet. - She is. 166 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,028 - And besides, I'm kind of relieved. 167 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,466 I couldn't figure out why you liked those dumb videos. 168 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,002 - I mean, I don't mean dumb. 169 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:13,067 I just mean, like, "Ah, I can't peel this orange." 170 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,006 It's not exactly a TED talk. 171 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,142 - I like her videos. 172 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,406 - Mm-hmm. You like her something. 173 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,546 You're just jealous. 174 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,881 - Uh, someone's flattering himself. 175 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:26,446 - No, I meant jealous that everybody loves her videos. 176 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:29,187 - Yeah, I know that's what you meant. 177 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,462 And why would I be jealous of her videos? 178 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,602 Oh, she filmed herself microwaving ramen 179 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,028 and she got 100 people to view it. 180 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,704 Yeah, she's Sofia Coppola. 181 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,502 - You couldn't do it. - Please. 182 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,474 You could get 100 people to watch anything. 183 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:43,903 - Fine. Then do it. 184 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,437 100 views by the end of the day-- 185 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,184 loser has to clean the rat traps. 186 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,978 - Okay, well then, you're on, 187 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,650 and I hope you like dead rats. 188 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:54,979 - I hope you like failure. - I hope you like... 189 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,175 Me winning bets. 190 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:02,886 . 191 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:03,923 - * It's getting late to give you up * 192 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,557 - Hi! It's Cloud9 Amy! 193 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,897 Comin' at you from Cloud 9... 194 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,872 in St. Louis, Missouri, 195 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,041 between aisles seven and eight. 196 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:19,509 Oh, look! It's a two-for-one sale! 197 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,880 How come you never hear of one 198 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:25,609 Oh, probably because no one would ever pay twice as much. 199 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,816 All right, that is bad. 200 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,723 Can you please not watch me? 201 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,152 It's riveting. 202 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,964 - Hi! It's Cloud 9 Amy! 203 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,801 How long have you been doing this? 204 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,930 - I started my second day. I thought everyone did it! 205 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,625 I mean, it's kind of obvious. 206 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,697 - Not to everyone. 207 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,065 - Oh, hey, Glenn! 208 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,942 It was really bugging me that Martin Nestle lied 209 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,741 about his email address, so I did some digging 210 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:56,243 and I found his actual email on his company website. 211 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,922 - Boogie-Time Boogie Boards, Incorporated. 212 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:05,789 That doesn't look like a very professional website, does it? 213 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,890 These beach bum types. 214 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,062 Anyway... 215 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:14,661 There he is. Martin Nestle, CEO. 216 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,095 - Huh. 217 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,699 That looks like the guy from "Twilight." 218 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,832 " 219 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,297 - No. Jerusha said I shouldn't. 220 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,236 So I didn't. 221 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,212 - I mean-- 222 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,839 I guess it kinda looks like him 223 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,846 if you squint. 224 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,309 It's so funny you know who that is. 225 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,116 - Hey, let's see if they have a page 226 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,118 for buying a boogie board on there, huh? 227 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,850 - I don't think that the link is up yet. 228 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,116 - Click on the "About," where it tells you 229 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:43,723 the story of how the company started. 230 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,287 - Excuse me, ma'am. 231 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,255 Do you have a moment to watch a short video? 232 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:51,004 - Oh, I'm sorry. I just moved here from Tampa. 233 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,701 - Ooh, Garrett! Have you watched my video yet? 234 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,138 - 'Cause I'm trying to prove to Jonah 235 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,669 that I can get more views than Kelly. 236 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,805 No. 237 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,010 That doesn't have anything to do with it. 238 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,611 This is about having a web presence. 239 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,013 Jeez, Garrett, get with it. 240 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,654 - You're right. I'll work on my self-awareness. 241 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:11,218 - Oh, come on! Still only 12 views. 242 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,964 Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers! 243 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,689 Who likes viral videos? 244 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,956 Ma'am 245 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,004 - Man, Facebook is a bust. 246 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,600 It's all baby photos and quizzes 247 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,932 about which "Longmire" character you are. 248 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,297 - Cool. Then I guess we can stop? 249 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,696 - Hang on. 250 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:33,068 Elias went on a date with two women? 251 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:36,106 - It's probably just his wife's sister or something. 252 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:39,883 - Mm, yeah. I don't think so. 253 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,183 - Oh, my God! 254 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,954 Elias is in a throuple. 255 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,383 - Throuple. 256 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,117 Is that like when three hideous people get together? 257 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,724 - Just three people. - Oh. 258 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:52,026 - But yeah, they usually are. - Hmm. 259 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,989 - Hey, Glenn, there's a customer here 260 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,827 who wants to talk to a manager. - Okay. 261 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,904 Hello. Glenn Sturgis speaking. 262 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,702 - Yes, this is Martin Nestle. 263 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,366 - Well, hello, Mr. Nestle. 264 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,174 Trace this call. 265 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,335 - Yeah, I don't have that technology. 266 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,414 - I signed up for a Blue Card 267 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,212 and I think I may have given the wrong email. 268 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,675 - Okay, well, thank you for calling to tell us. 269 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,346 Are you tracing this call? 270 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,216 While I have you on the phone, 271 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,823 what'd you think of the employee 272 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,215 who signed you up? 273 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,856 His name's Mateo. 274 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,763 And I think he's a real dummy! 275 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,395 A class A stinker! 276 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:32,299 - What are you saying about me? 277 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,702 - Oh. 278 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,904 - Mr. Sturgis, I need to get back to work. 279 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,107 - Uh, okay, then. 280 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,038 Well, h-have a heavenly day. 281 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,083 - Oh. Who were you talking to? 282 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,949 - Martin Nestle. 283 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,678 - Oh. 284 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,015 - Lost the trace. 285 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,850 Did you know Marcus has a podcast 286 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,916 called "Celebrities I Would Bone," 287 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,715 and in every episode he just lists 288 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,187 celebrities he would bone. 289 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:01,825 - Man, there is an audience out there for anything. 290 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,862 Oh, wow. Okay, you're gonna love this. 291 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:06,767 Remember Anna who had to leave to take care of her sick mom? 292 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,940 Well, turns out her sick mom is also a boob surgeon! 293 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,171 - Wow! 294 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,735 He went too big. 295 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,105 She's gonna have back problems. - Waste of money. 296 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,414 She should've fixed her face first. 297 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,775 Yeah. - Oh, whoops. 298 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,924 You were supposed to go on your break ten minutes ago. 299 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,280 - Oh, um, that's okay. 300 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,447 I'll just sit here and eat my lunch with you. 301 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,192 - Safety always comes... It's the bottom of the ninth. 302 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,057 - Just a woman going insane. 303 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,766 - Mark down-io! Yee-haw! 304 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,328 Howdy, partner. That was crazy. 305 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,066 How dem cows... Inventor-ium! 306 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,202 - Maybe if we took her phone away-- 307 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,836 - Don't even think about it. 308 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,141 . 309 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:48,805 - Yo, yo, yo. It's Cloud 9 Amy 310 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,083 doin' my trick. 311 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:53,811 Zonin' this aisle to make it look sick! 312 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,247 You want batteries? I got loads of D's. 313 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,523 And some frozen peas full of vitamin C! 314 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,351 Self-check yourself before you wreck yourself. 315 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,358 Self-check yourself before you wreck yourself. 316 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,961 Self-check yourself before you wreck yourself. 317 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,955 Get it? 318 00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,227 So? 319 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,965 - Wow, Amy. 320 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,001 - So fun. 321 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,336 - It's a work in progress, 322 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,870 and--and I know it's corny. 323 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,776 That's what makes it funny. Right? 324 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:22,979 - Oh, yeah. 325 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,210 Yeah, definitely. 326 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,984 - So funny. - Yeah. 327 00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,224 - Okay. 328 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,418 Thanks. 329 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,121 - Is this because Jonah's dating Kelly? 330 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,363 - Definitely. - Yeah. 331 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,958 - I went to theater camp for two summers. 332 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,431 That was my Audrey II voice. 333 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,159 - Calm down. It was fine. 334 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,564 - There is no way you should've gotten away with this. 335 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,326 - You're just jealous. - I am. 336 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,965 And I'm not even trying to hide it. 337 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,840 - Mateo, I want to apologize, 338 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,110 both for the things that I said about you, 339 00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:55,109 and for thinking that you would ever make up a customer. 340 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,212 - Well, it's just hard. 341 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,214 I was accused of a crime by my boss 342 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,406 and role model. 343 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,017 - Take the win. 344 00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,279 - I wanna make it up to you. 345 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,016 How about lunch? 346 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,252 We'll go up to the Beef Barn 347 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,016 and get a--a table right near the tractor? 348 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:12,356 - Uh, you know, I am actually starting to get over it. 349 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,432 - Mateo, he's trying to apologize to you. 350 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,271 - A nice, long lunch, just the two of you? 351 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,498 Oh, so lucky! 352 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,903 - Glenn, you know, maybe lunch isn't enough. 353 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,466 You were really rude to him. - Oh, yeah, you were. 354 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,905 Maybe stop by a few museums or something on the way. 355 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,482 - I suppose we could. - Lunch sounds great. 356 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,851 Lunch. - Terrific. 357 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,021 I can't wait! 358 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:37,946 - Hmm. 359 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,485 I'm feeling less jealous. 360 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:44,289 - Kate Upton, Arianna Grande, Serena Williams, 361 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,334 1994 Meryl Streep, 1995 Meryl Streep, 362 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,231 and the "Wonder Woman" chick. 363 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,133 "Celebrities I Would Bone" is brought to you by Blue Apron, 364 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,466 a better way to cook-- 365 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,941 God, that hour flies by. 366 00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,371 - Ahhh! 367 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,976 Head into the kitchen where we make our tasty treats. 368 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,949 Y'all can just kick it while I drop this sick beat. 369 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,580 This is stupid. 370 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:15,388 These videos are so stupid. 371 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:25,428 - Two women want that inside them. 372 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,095 - What would it take to get you to sleep with Elias? 373 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,565 - $435 grand. 374 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,042 I have a figure for everyone here. 375 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,641 Yours is only 75 bucks, by the way. 376 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,913 - Oh, thank you. 377 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,084 What about Glenn? 378 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,251 - There's not enough money in the world. 379 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,354 This is so stupid. 380 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,686 All of these videos are stupid. 381 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,461 Not everything needs to be documented. 382 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,961 Look at where I am! 383 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,003 Look at what I ate for lunch today. 384 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,628 Nobody cares! 385 00:14:56,663 --> 00:15:00,103 We're all becoming these narcissistic attention whores. 386 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,103 How about we actually-- - Okay, at some point 387 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,935 she's gotta see the rats. 388 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,941 Watch, don't watch, 389 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,414 I don't care. 390 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,541 But if you like what you saw, you can follow me on Snapchat, 391 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:14,277 Instagram, and Twitter on @Cloud9AmyD. 392 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,284 - I don't think she saw the rats. 393 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,916 - I don't think so. 394 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,588 - I am really looking forward to this, Mateo. 395 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,691 I don't get to take my employees to lunch very often. 396 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,594 - Well, only the lucky ones, I guess. 397 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,656 - Yeah, I got to take Jonah to lunch once. 398 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,425 I really got to know him. 399 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,973 You know, his interests, his background, 400 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,570 his voice. 401 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,268 - Hey, and since we're going to Clayton, 402 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,565 you know what's on the way? 403 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,976 Martin Nestle's office. 404 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:44,179 Maybe we should drop by. 405 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:47,211 Unless there's some reason you don't wanna go. 406 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,747 - Nope. 407 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,321 I would... love to visit Martin. 408 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,491 - Great. 409 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,059 - Great. - Great. 410 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,118 - Great. 411 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,316 - Great. 412 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,258 - Oh, hey, Jonah, will you help me read something real quick? 413 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:05,174 Bam! 15,000 views! 414 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,368 Ha-ha! 415 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,169 - Yep. - And I only posted it 416 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:11,341 half an hour ago, which means there must be a real appetite 417 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,371 for smart social commentary. 418 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,636 - I guess I'm cleaning the rat traps. 419 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,505 - Yeah. I guess you are. 420 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,014 - Oh, hey, speaking of the rat traps, 421 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,417 did you get a chance to watch the video 422 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,479 before you posted it? 423 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,788 - I know I never explicitly said 424 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:30,319 not to post videos of rat infestations in the kitchen, 425 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:33,187 but I thought I didn't need to. 426 00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:38,395 . 427 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:38,831 - Look, I'm sorry. 428 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,502 I should have watched the video before I posted it. 429 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,465 - How 'bout if we just stop posting videos of the store, 430 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,135 period. - Whoa! No way! 431 00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,514 - Aw! - That's not fair! 432 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,481 - Amy's screw up shouldn't overshadow the fact 433 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,650 that there's some really terrific filmmaking going on. 434 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,309 Like Kelly's. - Yes. 435 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,177 - Oh, my God. Thank you so much. 436 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,616 - Okay, I'm gonna start compiling a list 437 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,520 of all the things we should not be posting about, 438 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,722 starting with farting in cups and rat infestations. 439 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:04,364 - Again, didn't know the rats were there. 440 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,531 - Why did you have to make a video at all? 441 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,128 Is it about fame? - No! 442 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,830 - Murdering a clown. 443 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,201 - That's something that 444 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,472 we shouldn't post online. 445 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,630 - Mm-hmm. 446 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,397 - Okay. "Murdering a clown." 447 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,107 - You could just write "anything illegal." 448 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,139 - Look, Amy, are you going through some kind of 449 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,544 a midlife crisis, is that it? 450 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,513 - Yes, it's a peace sign. - No. 451 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,345 I was just trying to prove that I could make a video 452 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,120 that could get a bunch of views. 453 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,449 - Does this have something to do with Jonah dating Kelly? 454 00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,524 - Whoa! 455 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,122 No! 456 00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,564 - I knew it. - Come on. 457 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,488 - We were gonna keep that a secret. 458 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,864 - Well, then maybe you shouldn't have posted about it 459 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,291 on the Internet. 460 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:41,787 - Thank you. - Do we need to fill out 461 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,658 one of those relationship disclosures? 462 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,526 - Oh, I'm sorry, you want to know if you need to 463 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,335 let Corporate know that two low-level floor workers 464 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,268 are in a relationship? Yeah, I'm su-- 465 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,503 Let me call a board meeting. 466 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,168 - Feels like misplaced aggression. 467 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,636 - Are we calling it a relationship? 468 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,314 - Oh, I just meant for the-- - No, I mean--I mean-- 469 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,213 - Are you-- - Okay, if you-- 470 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,845 - Yeah, no. I'm--I'm cool. 471 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,649 - Cool. - Cool. 472 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:07,192 - * I hear the secrets that you keep * 473 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,620 * When you're talking in your sleep * 474 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,696 - Weird that this is a boogie board company. 475 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,730 - Guess he runs his business out of his home? 476 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:21,727 Less overhead. 477 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,468 - Mm. 478 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,314 Well, he's obviously not here, so we sh-- 479 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,212 - Oh, hello. 480 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,484 - Hello. - So sorry to bother you, 481 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:37,423 but is Martin Nestle here? 482 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,650 - Martin Nestle. 483 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,386 This is Boogie-Time Boogie Board, Incorporated, isn't it? 484 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,728 - And 11 stitches there. 485 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,929 - Wow. You really do have a lot of scars. 486 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,501 - Well, that's why I switched to birds. 487 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,930 Chimps are very violent. 488 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,274 And they're constantly masturbating. 489 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,601 Birds do it less. 490 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,935 And when a bird orgasms, 491 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,769 it's the most beautiful song you've ever heard. 492 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:00,936 - That's cool. 493 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,383 - It is. It is cool. 494 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,380 Gosh. 495 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:06,852 You know, I'm actually almost excited 496 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,949 Roger decided to fart in all those cups and film it, 497 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,651 because... 498 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,853 It gave us a chance to get to know each other better. 499 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,192 - You wanna know something funny? 500 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,364 - Uh, yeah! 501 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,503 - I was the one who filmed him doing it. 502 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,659 - Stop. - Plus, I dared him to do it. 503 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,297 I was like, "I bet you can't fart into those cups," 504 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,804 even though I totally knew he could. 505 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,405 That's hilarious! 506 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,982 - Oh, my gosh. 507 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:45,453 - Well, I--I just gotta go grab the form 508 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,815 to write you up. 509 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,464 Oh, but thank you so much for sharing that with me. 510 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,490 It means a lot. 511 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,755 - Oh, my God. 512 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:03,235 - So, I guess that's it then. 513 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,240 - There's no Martin Nestle! 514 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,573 I made him up. 515 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,007 I made them all up, 516 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,582 but I am sorry. 517 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,281 That, I find difficult to believe. 518 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:17,524 - Okay, what can I do to show you that I mean it? 519 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,590 - Well... 520 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,721 Let me just make a quick call. 521 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,986 - Oh, you don't really have to clean out the rat traps. 522 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:30,326 - Ah-ah-ah, a bet is a bet, and you won. 523 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:33,033 - Yeah, that's not exactly how I wanted to win. 524 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,325 Here, I'll give you a hand. 525 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,597 - All right! Let's do this. 526 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,736 - All right. - Oh! You already have help. 527 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:41,611 - Oh, well, I worked fast food jobs through high school, 528 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:44,441 so I know my way around a rat trap. 529 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,507 - So many talents. 530 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,276 - Your weapon. 531 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,575 - All right. Oh. 532 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,487 - Okay, well, then I guess I will just, uh, 533 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,990 leave you to it. - Bye! 534 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,461 - Later. 535 00:20:57,490 --> 00:21:01,030 Fun fact. That is just blueberry soda. 536 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:09,972 - I now baptize you for the forgiveness of your sins! 537 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,776 I feel it working. 538 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,850 - That's the Jesus! 539 00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:23,619 Now, come on, I'll buy you that magnet from the gift shop.