1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:01,495 . 2 00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:02,495 - * Two little dickie birds sitting on a wall * 3 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:06,372 * One name Peter, one named Paul * 4 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,381 - I don't understand why Glenn needs the shots 5 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,210 if you're the one carrying the baby. 6 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,205 - If I have to pump myself full of hormones 7 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,577 in order to carry his child, 8 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,745 it's only fair that he go through the same pain. 9 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,324 - Yeah, but with saline, so that 10 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,062 my male parts don't turn into female parts. 11 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:23,189 - Yeah, that's how it works. 12 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,334 - I just can't believe you guys are making a baby. 13 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,829 You don't even like each other. 14 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,800 - If I wanted to avoid doing things with people I hate, 15 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:30,399 I would literally never leave my house. 16 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,601 And believe me, I am only doing it for the money. 17 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:37,143 - And believe me, if there was any other usable, affordable 18 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,741 womb within 1,000 miles of here, 19 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,412 I would not be using hers. 20 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,211 - It just sucks that you have to get so many shots. 21 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,283 - Well, I had the option of taking them orally. 22 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,720 - That's why. 23 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,691 * 24 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,293 - Um... 25 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,164 - Like you were alive during the '90s. 26 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:01,362 - Yeah, I was. Yep, the roaring '90s. 27 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,265 - So, what would you say would be the best piñata 28 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,168 for a Green Day-themed birthday party for a two 29 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,441 - Um, okay. 30 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,669 Let's back that up real quick. 31 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,314 Harmonica's into Green Day? 32 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,540 - I doubt she's ever heard of them. 33 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,275 She's two. 34 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,309 But it's my mom's favorite band, 35 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,705 and it's just easier not to argue with her. 36 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,277 - Wouldn't your mom be okay 37 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,345 with something a little more kid 38 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,453 Like, I don't know, "Minions?" 39 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:27,615 - She just got out of jail. Minions are criminals. 40 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:30,715 That could suck her right back in to the lifestyle. 41 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,658 - Good point. Um... 42 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,703 All right, well, what about, like, mermaids? 43 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:38,799 - I don't know. My mom really wants Green Day. 44 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,872 - Mermaids are a lot like Green Day. 45 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,841 They're half-fish, half-human, 46 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,340 they're like rebels. 47 00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,172 You know, down for whatever. 48 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,137 In fact, they used to call Green Day 49 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,407 the mermaids of '90s rock. 50 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,175 - Mm-hmm. 51 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,624 It's totally true. 52 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:57,518 - Jonah, which puzzle seems more fun for the cabin? 53 00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:01,261 "Bubbling Mountain Brook," or "Ankylosaurs?" 54 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,759 - Let's go "Bubbling Brook." 55 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,331 - Ooh, bad boy. I like it. 56 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,230 Okay, I'm gonna go hide it so nobody else 57 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,232 buys it before we can. 58 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,703 - Ooh, good idea. 59 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,431 - Pretty steamy weekend you guys got planned. 60 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,797 Yeah, I'm excited. 61 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,465 - Not as excited as I am. 62 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,744 I got the apartment to myself, Randy's gonna come over, 63 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,572 we're gonna strap into our video game chairs 64 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,738 and not move for 70 hours straight. 65 00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:24,646 - Oh, um... 66 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:25,778 Randy's coming over. 67 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,623 Cool. 68 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,878 - You're gonna be having sex on a jigsaw puzzle in the Ozarks, 69 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:30,877 and you're jealous of Randy? 70 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,588 No. 71 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,390 I just didn't know he was gonna come over, 72 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:38,633 so that's just, you know, news to me, is all. 73 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,201 Cool. 74 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:47,940 - 20,000, for the most beautiful gift... 75 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,568 Okay, I ran out of space again. 76 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,773 I'm just gonna void this, and I'll do another one. 77 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,435 - It doesn't have to be perfect. 78 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:56,284 - No, I am not starting out this journey with a mistake. 79 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,810 Here, you can fill out the forms 80 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,705 while I write another one. 81 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,475 "Gestational surrogacy agreement." 82 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,347 You're making me sign a contract? 83 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,556 - It's what they say you're supposed to do. 84 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,658 - "Regular checkups," "custody release--" 85 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,690 Okay, wait, you think I want to steal your kid? 86 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,555 And then what? Have to spend years explaining 87 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,564 why it's good thing to be chosen last for dodgeball? 88 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,666 - No, it's just better safe than sorry. 89 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,298 - No, no, no, that's fine, that's fine. 90 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,573 You know what? I am gonna give this a read, 91 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,371 and I'll let you know if I have any thoughts. 92 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,913 - It should be fine. It was the first one on Google. 93 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,609 - Oh, look how cute! 94 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,381 Mermaid treasure for the treasure hunt. 95 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,314 - Wouldn't mermaid treasure be something 96 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,646 they don't have general access to? 97 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:36,581 Like, human garbage would be treasure to them. 98 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,317 - I wish I were a mermaid. I would clean up. 99 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:40,993 - I think you'd be a mer-man. 100 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,721 - Yeah, I don't really buy mermen as a thing. 101 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,587 - Then how did they use to, you know... 102 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,297 ? 103 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,899 Unless that's why they went extinct. 104 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,731 - They didn't go extinct. 105 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,296 They lost their tails over the course of centuries 106 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,396 and turned into humans. 107 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,707 It's called evolution. 108 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,268 - I don't think so. 109 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,937 - Okay, fine, God made us. 110 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,884 - Look at the human eye. 111 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:03,980 It's too complicated. 112 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,951 - No, I believe in evolution. 113 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,779 I'm just saying it's make believe--it's like unicorns. 114 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,776 - We don't know that there were never unicorns. 115 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:14,488 I read that we discover like 50 new species of frogs each year. 116 00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,592 Maybe scientists just haven't discovered unicorns yet. 117 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,034 - Frogs are tiny. I think somebody 118 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,588 would've noticed a unicorn. 119 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,357 - A lot of people believe unicorns exist. 120 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,025 - A lot of people believe in bigfoot. 121 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,503 A lot of people believe in angels! 122 00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:25,902 - I believe in angels. 123 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,643 No, you don't. 124 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,968 - Yeah, I do. 125 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,902 - I used to think kangaroos were real. 126 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,610 [Green Day's "Paranoid" plays on the muzak] 127 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:39,682 - * Sometimes I give myself the creeps * 128 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,783 * Sometimes my mind plays tricks on * 129 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,816 - "Surrogate shall be reimbursed 130 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,322 for all tailoring expenses?" 131 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:47,664 - I'm gonna have to have my clothes converted 132 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,788 to maternity clothes and then converted back after. 133 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,733 - "In the event of a baby over eight pounds, 134 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,799 lessee will reimburse leaser for vaginal reconstruction." 135 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,758 - Hey, I was happy to have a gentleman's agreement. 136 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,867 You're the one who wanted to get all formal about it. 137 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,670 - I'm gonna have to take some time to review these changes. 138 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:06,773 - Sure, oh, FYI, clauses 30-49 are all vag-related, 139 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,777 and the last page is the before photos. 140 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:22,516 - Whoa, Oreo really upped its game while I was in prison. 141 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,856 It's like a fat kid's fever dream. 142 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:28,002 - Oh, Amy, this is my mom. 143 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,528 - Oh, my gosh! Hi! 144 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,833 - You're the famous Amy. 145 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,074 I've heard so much about you over the years, 146 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,829 I feel like I know you. 147 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,367 I'm so sorry about the divorce and how your life is going. 148 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,505 - Oh, um, thank you. 149 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,910 Uh, so what brings you to the store? 150 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,712 - Oh, she was just bringing me this shirt that she got me 151 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,976 that I forgot to put on this morning. 152 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,475 - It's more professional. 153 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,847 And I gotta get some stuff for the party. 154 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,124 Do you have a Green Day-themed bouncy house? 155 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,723 What happened with mermaids? 156 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,986 - My mom thought we should go back to Green Day. 157 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,595 - Mermaids is a little juvenile, don't you think? 158 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:04,669 - Well, I mean, it is a two-year-old's birthday party, 159 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,528 and Chey really liked the idea-- 160 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,867 - Amy, I don't mean to be rude, 161 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,571 I know you've been kind of a mother figure 162 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:12,513 for Cheyenne while I've been away, but... 163 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,010 I'm her actual mother, 164 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:18,511 so don't you have some shelving to do or something? 165 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,649 - Yes, sure. 166 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,652 Yeah, sorry. 167 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,983 - Okay. - Bye. 168 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,887 - Bye. 169 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,659 Cinnamon bun Oreos? 170 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:36,156 . 171 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:36,726 - "I'm her actual mother." 172 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:38,768 What does that even mean? 173 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,129 - Hard to say. 174 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,737 It either means she's the one who gave birth to her, 175 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:43,870 or... 176 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,714 that's the only thing that it means. 177 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,139 - Well, it doesn't give her the right to just swoop in, 178 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,005 and start changing up perfectly good shirts, 179 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,683 and perfectly good parties. 180 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,852 I mean, mermaids is a better theme than Green Day. 181 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,782 Like, that's an objective fact, right? 182 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,187 - I like Green Day. 183 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,988 Name three of their songs. 184 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,720 - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," "Good Riddance," 185 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,485 "When I Come Around." 186 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,964 - Okay, well, those are the obvious ones--name three more. 187 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,162 - "Basket Case," "Longview," "American Idiot." 188 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,904 - You are a very irritating person. 189 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,599 - I just don't think that you should butt in. 190 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,001 - You--you butt in all the time. 191 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:16,903 That's why your butt is so big. 192 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,907 - "Welcome to Paradise." 193 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:22,639 "Wake Me Up When September Ends." 194 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,976 I love Green Day. 195 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,482 - I've never really hired a lawyer before. 196 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,645 But I just wanted to make sure everything 197 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,223 Dina put in was kosher. 198 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,651 - Yeah, well, that makes sense. 199 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,488 - I'm sorry about using the word "kosher." 200 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,634 That wasn't a comment on your religion. 201 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,529 - Oh, I'm not Jewish. 202 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,002 - Okay. 203 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,930 I don't mind, though. 204 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,936 Well, is it basically okay? 205 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,798 - Yeah, mostly there's just a couple small, little nitpicky 206 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,638 things that might be worth discussing with Dina. 207 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,613 - Oh, okay. I could go get her right now. 208 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,883 - Yeah. 209 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,180 - I'll bring in a bagel and a smear. 210 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,781 - Again, I am not, uh... 211 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,954 You know what? An onion bagel would be great. 212 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,723 - Onion bagel. 213 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,727 - Do you think Green Day is a mistake? 214 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:16,899 - Well, you know, I-I don't want to butt in, or-- 215 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:20,300 But yes, I do, it's crazy. Cuckoo bananas, makes no sense. 216 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,843 - You think mermaids would be better? 217 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,069 - Yes, 100%, I think you should do mermaids. 218 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,744 Look, Chey, 219 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,083 you don't have to do everything your mom tells you to do 220 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,578 just because she's your mom. 221 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,150 - I just--I have a hard time standing up to her. 222 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,949 She never listens to what I want. 223 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:37,151 - Well, you just gotta sit her down, and tell her, 224 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:41,054 "I am a grownup. I make my own decisions." 225 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:43,758 - You want me to brag about you to my mom? 226 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:44,761 - Uh-uh. 227 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:45,992 Sorry. 228 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,196 You would say you were a grownup, 229 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,998 you make your own decisions. 230 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,600 - She knows she's a grownup. 231 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,003 - Why don't we go talk to her together? 232 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,265 - Okay. 233 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,143 - Okay. - All right, yeah. 234 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,241 - I was reading about our Airbnb, 235 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,583 and it said that the toilet is sensitive, 236 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,750 so maybe don't flush your baby wipes. 237 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,178 - Yeah, of course, totally. 238 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,983 Um, hey, earlier, uh, when you were talking about 239 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,716 how you believed in angels, 240 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,891 you meant, sort of, like a general, ineffable 241 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,691 sense of spiritual presence, right? 242 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:19,633 Not--not like magical little creatures flying around? 243 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,701 - Yeah, I mean, I-- 244 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,170 - Oh, no, no, I'm not a child. - Okay, all right, okay. 245 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,768 Okay, I was just-- I was just checking. 246 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,770 - Yeah. 247 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:32,609 Yeah, no, by angels, I meant like regular-sized, 248 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,940 celestial beings who look out for us. 249 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,905 - Right. 250 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:41,984 Right, yeah, but not--not with, like, with halos and wings. 251 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:45,715 - No, they have halos and wings, they're angels. 252 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,193 - Right. 253 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,790 Okay, cool, yeah, no, I was just, um... 254 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,833 I was just checking, so. 255 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,289 Are they dog? I don't know what they are. 256 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,027 - Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys! - Shh! Shh! 257 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,874 - Two chupacabra sightings, 258 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,969 two remote Mexican villages, 259 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,141 same exact description. 260 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,010 And you know those people don't have the Internet. 261 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,168 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, I'm sold. 262 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,676 I'm putting it in real. 263 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,078 - You know what should be in mythical? 264 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,909 A man who knows where the G-spot is. 265 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:11,984 - Justine, 266 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,352 contribute, or leave. 267 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,380 - It's the third time you've made that joke. 268 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,316 - Oh, so now, we're lawyering up, is that it? 269 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,221 - No, no, no, no. Bruce is a friend. 270 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,694 He's here to help us. 271 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,223 It's more like we're "friending" up. 272 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,827 - I'm not here to make anything contentious. 273 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,129 I just want to make sure 274 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,300 there's no misunderstandings down the road. 275 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,298 He's a nice guy. 276 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,870 - So, as I understand it, 277 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,169 you both mutually agreed to this surrogacy, so... 278 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,071 - Mm-hmm. - If you were to fail to honor 279 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,303 your agreement, we would be forced 280 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,307 to go after you with extreme prejudice. 281 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,969 - Wait... 282 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,042 - I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't being clear. 283 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,977 Um, we would sue you for every penny that you're worth. 284 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,984 We would own you, 'cause you mess with Glenn Sturgis, 285 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,446 you get the horns! 286 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,723 - Okay, this is not--this is not what we talked about. 287 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,293 - So you either sign this contract, 288 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,091 or we're gonna bury you under so much paperwork 289 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,393 you're gonna need a machete 290 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,334 to get from your bedroom to your bathroom! 291 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,159 - Well, the joke's on you, because I keep a machete 292 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,934 in every room in my house. 293 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,463 - Okay, we're losing the magic 294 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,327 of the journey that we're going on together. 295 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,736 - Sign the contract, Ms. Fox. You sign it! 296 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,039 - You want to come after me, Glenn? 297 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,470 - No. - Well, bring it on. 298 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,144 And as for you, I have a cousin at the Bar Association, 299 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,713 so you better pray to God your CLE credits are up to date. 300 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:20,175 - Well, I think that was a nice opening bid. 301 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,283 Oh, is this whitefish? 302 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,418 - Uh, which answer leads to no follow 303 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,794 - Kelly believes in 'em. 304 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,422 Like believes believes, you know? 305 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,327 It's like wings and halos and harps. 306 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,860 Well, I didn't ask about harps, but I assume-- 307 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,396 - So she believes in angels. Who cares? 308 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,730 - I don't care, no, I just-- 309 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,027 I just think it's interesting, you know, 310 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,238 I mean, I don't believe in angels, 311 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,310 but if she wants to believe in angels, 312 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,908 then I respect that, you know? 313 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,211 Doesn't bother me. 314 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:53,782 Is that something you think would bother you? 315 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,824 - Maybe, I don't know. Hey, when do you guys leave? 316 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,419 Because I'm about to order a 22-foot sub, 317 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,920 and I'd prefer to keep it intact, 318 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,192 so one end has to start in your room. 319 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,921 - So there are a couple issues. 320 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,057 - Wow, that's complex. 321 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,963 That is complex. 322 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,795 - Um, your daughter is trying to have a conversation 323 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,371 with you, so if you could put the cookie down, 324 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,439 and try to engage meaningfully... 325 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:18,038 I'm so sorry, I was just recently in couple's therapy, 326 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,971 and that just popped out. 327 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,838 - All right, I'm engaging meaningfully. 328 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,482 - I don't want to do a Green Day party. 329 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,154 - I thought I asked you to mind your own business. 330 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,222 - This is all Cheyenne, I'm just here for support. 331 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,550 Green Day is dumb. 332 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,487 And you know what? I'm not going to college. 333 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,894 Huh? No, we didn't talk about that. 334 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,057 - Cheyenne, you're going to college. 335 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,334 - No, I'm not. 336 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,502 Just 'cause you're my mom doesn't mean that 337 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,030 you get to tell me what to do. 338 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,295 Right, Amy? 339 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,973 - Um, I mean, in general, that seems true-- 340 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,203 She agrees. 341 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,838 I'm an adult, and I make my own decisions. 342 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,384 And so, I'm gonna buy a motorcycle, 343 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:59,049 or, I don't know, a monkey, maybe both. 344 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,509 - Um, could we just quickly go back to the college thing-- 345 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,178 - You don't get to tell me what to eat, either! 346 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,816 So if I want to eat peyote, 347 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,592 I am gonna eat all the peyote I want. 348 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,089 And I'm getting a full-sized back tattoo 349 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,522 of the raccoon from "Guardians of the Galaxy," 350 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:17,464 . 351 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:23,273 * 352 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,536 - So you're saying reindeers actually exist, 353 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,205 like, in the real world? 354 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,583 - We had a reindeer in the store on Christmas. 355 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,552 - I didn't think it was a real reindeer. 356 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:35,951 I thought it was a normal deer 357 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:38,053 with antlers nailed to its head. 358 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:41,285 - Oh, I don't think leprechauns should be in the real column. 359 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,891 - Is this still about the angel thing? 360 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,926 - Look, I get it. 361 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,001 I mean, it must be hard to believe in angels 362 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,560 if you've never seen one first-hand. 363 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,171 - Sure have. 364 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,273 - Shh! When? 365 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:01,005 - Well, um, when I was five, 366 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,981 I fell into the indoor pool 367 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,440 at the Silver Dollar City Ramada Inn. 368 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,577 - And I mean, 369 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,482 I sank like a brick. 370 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:11,184 And I remember thinking I'd never seen my parents again. 371 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:14,218 When suddenly, this figure appeared. 372 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:16,585 - He did have wings. 373 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,093 - Knew it. I knew it. 374 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:20,585 - And he sort of was like floating above me, 375 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:24,327 as if to say, "You're safe now." 376 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,304 Next thing I know, I'm back in our hotel room, 377 00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,144 dry as a bone. 378 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,199 - Oh! 379 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,437 - Wow. 380 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,911 - That's real. 381 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:37,541 - Is it possible that the figure was floating 382 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,347 because he was, you know, in a pool? 383 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,080 - I know what I saw. 384 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,485 - Yeah, and I believe that you believe that you saw that, 385 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:49,518 but you were also deprived of oxygen for a little while-- 386 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,194 - Because he's jelly of your peanut butter. 387 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,356 - No, no, no, no, no. I'm not--I'm not jelly, no. 388 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,466 I just--I just think, you know, maybe what you saw 389 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,229 wasn't, um, an angel. 390 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:06,508 Maybe what you saw was just a pasty hotel guest in a robe. 391 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,009 - Yeah, maybe. 392 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,611 Mm-hmm. Maybe I'll consider that 393 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,642 when I'm home this weekend, alone. 394 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,708 - Whoa, whoa, what are we talking about, now? 395 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,077 - Trouble in paradise. 396 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,947 - Have you been in the break room all day? 397 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,986 - Yeah, I'm just not feeling it today. 398 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,361 - Look, I'm sorry, I did not know that 399 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,620 she was gonna say those things. 400 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,557 All I said to her was that she should be able 401 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,703 to make her own decisions. But I am not her mom. 402 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,528 And if someone told my daughter not to listen to me, 403 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,474 well, then, I would be pretty upset. 404 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,540 So, I am sorry. 405 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,738 - I just get so worried 406 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,369 she's gonna make the same mistakes I did. 407 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,035 - Yeah. - I get so scared 408 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,413 she's gonna end up in jail, 409 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,481 or still working here when she's our age. 410 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,051 - Uh, yeah, I don't-- 411 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,419 I don't know that those two are exactly equivalent. 412 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,618 - I don't know which is worse. 413 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,549 - Jail, probably. 414 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,724 - Well... 415 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,757 Hey, what do you think about Bo? 416 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:01,559 - Uh, I think he is an interesting individual. 417 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:02,564 - I think he's a loser. 418 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,595 - Clown. I mean, "clown" 419 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,671 is the first word that comes to mind. 420 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,169 When I think of him, like, 421 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,771 I half expect my hand to buzz when he shakes it. 422 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,273 - I don't think clowns do that any more, 423 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,466 but that's very funny. 424 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,077 You're funny. 425 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,048 - Hey. 426 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,280 Dina, I know things got a little heated-- 427 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,045 - Listen, I apologize if I overreacted. 428 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,315 - Oh, thank God. Me too. 429 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,224 - The things is, I'm gonna go have sex 430 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,186 with Marcus in a few minutes. 431 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,332 - That's the special project you needed help with? 432 00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,661 Sweet! 433 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,495 - Why would you-- - There's just an attraction 434 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,670 there, I can't deny it, 435 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,128 blah, blah, blah, the point is, 436 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,567 maybe I get pregnant, maybe I don't. 437 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,671 Who knows? 438 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,342 So this could be all booked up. 439 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,411 No room at the inn. 440 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,738 - You can't do this. 441 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:50,083 - Oh, I am going to with zero protection. 442 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,312 - Amy and I think you need 443 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,346 to start getting serious about your life. 444 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,320 - No, I'm not on anyone's side. 445 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,622 I just agree with her on this stuff. 446 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:06,434 So, now I think it's time for you to engage meaningfully. 447 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,329 - You gotta be responsible, and part of being responsible 448 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,432 means getting rid of Bo. 449 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,174 - He's a loser, Amy and I both agree. 450 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,771 - No, uh-uh, I did never call him a loser. 451 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,513 - Sorry, I think I'm the one who called him a loser. 452 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,108 Amy called him a clown. 453 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,080 - I don't--I don't know how this is productive. 454 00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,109 How about we get back to the college-- 455 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,283 - I can't believe you guys. 456 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:29,252 - Amy and I are on the same page about this one. 457 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,852 I felt like that went so well. 458 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,553 She is so attached to Bo. 459 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:40,593 . 460 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,530 No kissing, no eye contact, I leave as soon as you're done? 461 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,834 - We're not sleeping together. 462 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,135 That was just a negotiation tactic with Glenn. 463 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,498 - Oh, right. 464 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,767 Of course. Smart. 465 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,335 I mean, if someone actually cared, 466 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,814 it could be super hurtful, but it's not me. 467 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,713 - Dina, I'd like you to meet my new surrogate. 468 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,306 She's ready to rock. 469 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:02,418 Isn't that right, Sandra? 470 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,719 - Yeah, I'm really excited. 471 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,521 And I have no problem signing all the paperwork, 472 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,124 so let's do it. 473 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,486 - Sandra, mm-hmm. You're gonna go with Sandra? 474 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,164 - Mm-hmm. 475 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,693 - You are gonna leave your baby at the mercy of a person 476 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,557 whose judgment is so bad she moved from Hawaii 477 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:18,697 to St. Louis? 478 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,331 - Yes, I am. 479 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:23,197 And as soon as I give Sandra the shot, 480 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,266 our deal is over. 481 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,435 - Fine, good. 482 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,783 Marcus! 483 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,338 That was just foreplay, all right? 484 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,737 We're about to get this thing going! 485 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,608 - Sandra, lift your shirt. 486 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,316 - Marcus, take off your shirt! 487 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,448 - Fair warning, I still have a bit of a Thanksgiving paunch 488 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,594 I'm working off. - All right, this is happening. 489 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,259 - Oh, oh, oh, well, you know what else is happening? 490 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,689 This thing over here! - Yeah, look at this! 491 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:44,923 Here we go! 492 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,427 - Take this off! - Come on, go, go, go! 493 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,330 - Guys, guys, guys! 494 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:52,272 You both know what you're doing, so stop pretending! 495 00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,899 Glenn, you obviously don't want to use Sandra. 496 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,874 - Of course I don't want to use Sandra. 497 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,873 Who would want to use Sandra? 498 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,535 - You think I want to have sex with Marcus? 499 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,913 He starts every time by saying, 500 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,581 "I'm not really sure what I'm doing down there." 501 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,350 - Oh, sorry for being honest. 502 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,448 - Well, both of you clearly want this, so just get over it. 503 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,251 - Fine with me. 504 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,383 - All right. 505 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,830 - So... 506 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:23,327 I guess we should go back to work. 507 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,602 I honestly-- I can't tell anymore. 508 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:29,835 - Hey. 509 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,509 - Hey, join us. 510 00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,239 - So you two are getting along. 511 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,514 - Yeah, we worked it all out. 512 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,943 - Good, good. 513 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,507 See? All it needed was a little bit of communication... 514 00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:43,817 - Amy, we're gonna need you to engage meaningfully 515 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:44,820 for a minute. 516 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,915 - Shh! You're not engaging. 517 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,964 - Look, I love you, but sometimes, 518 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:52,389 you give a little bit too much advice. 519 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,925 Like, telling me how to spend my money, 520 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,831 or that my yearbook quote shouldn't be, 521 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,833 "Catch me outside, how 'bout that?" 522 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,965 - Yeah, I was just saying that yearbooks are permanent. 523 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,740 - You're pushy, you're manipulative, 524 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,499 and you were super mean about Bo. 525 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,707 I got a good one. 526 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:10,510 Your hair. Boom. 527 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,948 - That was harsh. 528 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,349 - I don't know, man, I mean, today it's angels, 529 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,522 tomorrow it's, let's go ghost hunting. 530 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,650 - Look, man, Kelly is cool, she's fun, 531 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:20,986 you guys should go away together. 532 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:24,720 - Yeah, well, maybe we will. Just not this weekend. 533 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,857 - No. 534 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,303 You have something special, 535 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,628 and you're gonna throw it all away 536 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,362 'cause she sees an angel or two? 537 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,928 - Are you just saying this because 538 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,325 you don't want to miss out on your epic gaming weekend 539 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,837 with Randy? - Screw the weekend! 540 00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:38,468 This is about you and an amazing woman 541 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,965 that I don't want to see slip away. 542 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,336 - Okay, you can drop the cheesy rom com routine. 543 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,035 - Jonah, the world is a lonely place. 544 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,747 Now, when two people find love, they need to celebrate-- 545 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,950 - Ironically, the content of everything 546 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,451 you're saying is true, 547 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,853 but you don't need to-- to dress it up in some-- 548 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,585 - You have a real shot at happiness, 549 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:55,991 you dumb son of a bitch. 550 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:58,862 If you don't take it, I'll never forgive you. 551 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,931 But more importantly, 552 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,460 you'll never forgive you. 553 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,497 - Okay, I'll go talk to Kelly. 554 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,733 - You take that shot, man. 555 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,867 You go to her, and you never look back! 556 00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:13,742 - I'm going to, but not because of this thing, okay? 557 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,013 - You get her back. 558 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:21,347 Sorry about that, dawg. Yes, we are back on.