1 00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:01,873 . 2 00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:04,834 - That's the face, nose, and that's the mouth. 3 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:07,314 - It has a mouth! Oh, great. 4 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:10,045 - Nobody does a fail video quite like a Russian. 5 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,617 - Dina, take a look. It's perfect. 6 00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:15,674 - Yeah, it's fine. 7 00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,541 - Okay. 8 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:21,456 ? 9 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:26,029 - Oh, it's a miracle. - Uh-huh. 10 00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,682 ♪ 11 00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:33,076 - The doctor says it's normal for the head to be 12 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,990 so much bigger than the rest of the body. 13 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,505 - I've heard that successful people 14 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:39,338 have unusually large heads. Look at the Burger King. 15 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,167 - Hmm. 16 00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,515 - Well, the doctor wrote it down 17 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:47,605 and put it in this envelope, so here goes nothing. 18 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,834 - Wait. You're gonna just do that right here? 19 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,656 - You guys should do something special. 20 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,324 - Jerry's whole family came to the hospital 21 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:55,878 for his catheter removal. 22 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,575 The doctor even let his mom hold his penis 23 00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,062 while the nurse pulled out the tube. 24 00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:01,242 - Oh. - Or, we could get a cake, 25 00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:02,318 and then, when you slice into it, 26 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,716 it's either pink or blue. 27 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,759 - Or we could all get paintball guns, 28 00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,334 and shoot each other, and the paint 29 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,761 could either be blue or pink. 30 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,977 So we'd all be like, ah, ooh, it hurts, 31 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,808 but you guys would like, ha ha. 32 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,214 It's a girl, bitch. 33 00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:20,211 - Funny to think that it has genitals, right? 34 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,914 It's like, I could have a stranger's tiny penis 35 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:25,092 just whipping around inside me. 36 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:26,558 - Sounds like my Saturday night. 37 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,534 Is it gonna be 38 00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:34,748 a Glenn or a Glenda? - Ugh, Glenda would be rough. 39 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,050 - If I was a boy, I was gonna be Donald. 40 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,707 Donald? 41 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,620 - Yeah. - It just sounds like, 42 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:44,055 I'm Don Sosa, and have I got a car for you. 43 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:48,114 - Um, more like, and up next, batting for the Cardinals, 44 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:50,981 number 34, Don Sosa! - Oh, no, no way. 45 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,593 I'm-a Don-a Sosa. 46 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,684 Please come to my villa so I may make-a love to you. 47 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,904 But I work at the Cloud 9. 48 00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:00,083 - Yes. - So we go to my 49 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,170 tiny apartment, we make the love-- 50 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,779 - You come visit me, do not worry, 51 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,169 do not you worry, you sit-a on-a my twin bed. 52 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,783 I'm-a make-a my roommate go away, 53 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,303 he don't even looking. - Make-a the love many times 54 00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:12,607 on the coupons. - I give you half off 55 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:16,144 the love making. 56 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,749 - All right, I should get back to... 57 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:21,099 - I should go find Kelly. 58 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,271 I am not a crook. 59 00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,797 Ronald Reagan. 60 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:29,538 Are you pregnant or just fat? 61 00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,334 - Pregnant. - Okay, good. 62 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,848 Uh, quick question, do you have any feelings of, 63 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,682 I don't know, overwhelming panic and a desire to flee? 64 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,331 - Yeah. 65 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,545 Well, technically it's not mine. 66 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:42,074 It's my boss's. - Uh, okay. 67 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:45,298 Uh, little advice. Get the C-section. 68 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,909 With my first, I was in labor for 36 hours. 69 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:50,170 Finally, I bit off part of my tongue, I passed out-- 70 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,523 - Sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop, 71 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:55,743 but I had a C-section. Not great. 72 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,834 They couldn't get my uterus back in after, 73 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,793 and they had to just keep shoving and punching it in 74 00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,312 like an overstuffed duffel. - I had to have twins. 75 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,317 Breech birth, in the back of an Altima. 76 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,579 Some EMT cut me from hole to hole. 77 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:11,282 - Nope. Nope. Absolutely not. 78 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,321 - Justine, we need pink and blue balloons. 79 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:14,797 Heather, you're on mason jars. 80 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:17,846 And Sandra, I need you to make a melon baby. 81 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:21,163 - You know, a melon baby. 82 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,201 - I can do it if Sandra can't. - No, no, I can do it. 83 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,637 I'll do it. 84 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,254 Okay, break. 85 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,693 - Oh, hey, Jeff. 86 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:37,255 - Ah, well, Jonah ruined it. Hey. 87 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,614 What are you doing here? 88 00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:40,223 - Oh, I'm on a break from Target. 89 00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,483 Thought I would stop by and say hi. 90 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,793 Well, it's Target. It's the big leagues. 91 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,923 - Well, uh, thank you for visiting. 92 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,705 It was good seeing you, but these carts 93 00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,620 aren't gonna put themselves away, so. 94 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,705 - Oh, uh, okay, well, then I'm going to do a little 95 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,795 shopping for supper. Don't tell the folks at Target. 96 00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,715 I'm kidding, they don't need my business, they're Target. 97 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,065 - Everything okay with you guys? 98 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:09,065 - Yep, yeah, just spending a lot of time together. 99 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,988 I feel like managing a Target 100 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,563 would take a lot of time-- - He doesn't work at Target. 101 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,081 Okay, he didn't even make it past the phone interview. 102 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,385 - He's been too embarrassed 103 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,224 to admit he's unemployed. - Just because-- 104 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,872 - Kathy, no, I can't come in early. 105 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:27,265 Just handle it yourself or consult the Target handbook. 106 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,920 It's work. 107 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:33,705 - They cut off his cell phone service a month ago, so. 108 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,763 - No, no, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. 109 00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,334 We're not doing that. We're not doing that. 110 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,291 We're not doing that. 111 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,809 Take this, it's just sitting there, tempting me 112 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,553 like a redhead. - Uh, sure. 113 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:54,155 - Under no circumstances let me see 114 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,556 what's inside that envelope. 115 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,820 - This is a terrible, wonderful responsibility. 116 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:04,126 - Can I see what's in that envelope? 117 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:07,743 - No. - Wow, you're good. 118 00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,955 - It's been a difficult birth. 119 00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,875 The mother has lost a lot of blood. 120 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,400 - And the pain is unbearable. 121 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,454 The farmer moves in to put her down. 122 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:19,140 - Jesus. - Dina, some of the customers 123 00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:21,578 are asking if we can change the channel. 124 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,315 Oh. 125 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,146 - The farmer is unsuccessful on his first try. 126 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,805 - Oh, you've got to be kidding me. 127 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,979 Hey, Glenn, need to talk to you when you have a minute. 128 00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,675 - No, no, no. 129 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,292 They just sent us the wrong receipt paper again, 130 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,473 and I also decided I no longer want to carry your baby, 131 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,599 so we'll just go over all that. 132 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:42,337 . 133 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:45,255 - The baby's in a sack anyway. I'm just suggesting 134 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,781 we take out that sack, and stuff it into someone else. 135 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,224 Maybe Sandra. - Yeah, I don't think 136 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,440 that technology exists. 137 00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,049 I'm talking about moving a bag of garbage 138 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,399 from the kitchen to the side of the house. 139 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:55,359 - You can't just move it. 140 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,488 That-it's attached to things. 141 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,011 - Fine, fine, that's just one idea. 142 00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:00,364 We can come up with something else. 143 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,193 - It's okay. 144 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,971 Dina, I know this is scary-- 145 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,496 We induce a coma, okay? In five months, 146 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,800 I wake up empty and happy and everybody wins. 147 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,809 All right, don't just say no, all right? 148 00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,979 We can find a solution. We just have to keep talking 149 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,455 until we figure something out. 150 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,420 - Hey, Garrett. We need the envelope. 151 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,377 Glenn said he gave it to you. - We're gonna fill 152 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,245 this piñata with either pink or blue candy. 153 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,646 - So people are gonna beat that baby with a stick 154 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,260 till it bursts open and spews candy guts everywhere? 155 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,871 - Yep, that's what I said too. 156 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,183 - Do whatever you want. I don't care. 157 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,140 - No. 158 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,932 - Why do you sound like a cartoon mouse? 159 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,619 It's funny. 160 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:50,708 - Hey, is this the only gumbo mix you have? 161 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,538 - I think so. - Mmm. 162 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:55,016 You know, at Target, the selection is just, 163 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,106 Mind blowing. 164 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,455 I mean, that's why we call it Target. 165 00:06:58,505 --> 00:06:59,675 That's what everybody's aiming for. 166 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,163 - It's a nice store. 167 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,813 - There's this guy I work with named Gordon, 168 00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:05,337 who reminds me so much of you. The other day, I was like, 169 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,951 ey, Jordan, like I combined your name and his name. 170 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,472 God, did we laugh, oh. - That's funny. 171 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:14,387 Um, you know, you don't have to talk about the job so much. 172 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,572 - Why would you tell Jeff what I said? 173 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:21,222 - I didn't, he's just really good at reading people. 174 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,486 Like, not psychic, but he's operating 175 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,790 on a very high level. 176 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,965 - Well, now he feels even worse about himself. 177 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,581 - So why don't you just encourage him 178 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:31,892 to get back out there? - Okay, he quit his job for me. 179 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,499 I can't be the one who criticizes him for not working. 180 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:38,241 - I guess I could try talking to him, if you want. 181 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:41,903 - Oh, well, I mean, he does respect you. 182 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,379 But you can't sleep with him. 183 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:46,639 - Yeah, no, I will try and control myself. 184 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,123 - Okay. 185 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,431 - The name is Glenn and Jerusha Sturgis. 186 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,132 I need to know the gender of their baby. 187 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,960 Okay, sure, one second. 188 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,868 Hello, it's me, Glenn Sturgis. 189 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,487 I seem to have lost the envelope the doctor wrote 190 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:08,098 the gender of my little angel in and-- 191 00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,659 What? 192 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:10,966 That's exactly how he sounds. 193 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:14,062 You have no idea how spot on I was. 194 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,452 - I did not think this through. 195 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,925 And now, I have a horrible parasite 196 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,154 just eating and pissing inside me. 197 00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,114 - My friend Corona swallowed a tape worm 198 00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:24,902 to lose weight, and it ate one of her organs. 199 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:26,589 She looked really good at prom, though. 200 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:29,116 - Look, Dina, it's just for a few more months. 201 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,550 - Yeah, and then I get to endure 202 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,467 the most gruesome pain imaginable. 203 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,692 The phrase "cut from hole to hole" was said to me. 204 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,912 - You know, it really didn't hurt that much. 205 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,962 I remember thinking, like, big whoop. 206 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,568 Way to over-hype it, women. 207 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,609 'Cause for me, it was like... 208 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:50,265 It was--it was like nothing. - Yeah, it was like bad cramps. 209 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:53,452 - Yeah, or like pooping, with blood and screaming 210 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:56,409 and then a face comes out of you. 211 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,488 - It's like, what else are you telling people about me? 212 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,058 - Hey, guys. Hey, Jeff. 213 00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,625 - You don't have to say my name that way. 214 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:03,982 I know what I am. 215 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,501 - I wasn't saying it like anything. 216 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,506 And besides, you just need to get back out there, you know? 217 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,069 Get back on the horse. Giddy-up! 218 00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:16,156 Cowboy. - Yes, but, I mean... 219 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:19,817 I've never asked myself what I want to do with my life. 220 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,603 And I just thought, you know, now that I have this 221 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,298 opportunity, maybe I could figure that out 222 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:27,306 instead of just jumping into the first job that comes along. 223 00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:30,179 Is that so wrong? To just once ask 224 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,311 what makes Jeffrey happy? 225 00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,102 You shouldn't rush into anything. 226 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:40,411 You should... follow your bliss. 227 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,629 - Yeah, defin--definitely. You'll find another job. 228 00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,589 You just--you need to figure out you first. 229 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,018 - You were supposed to tell him to get a job. 230 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,284 - But then he said all that stuff, 231 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,716 and you told him to follow his bliss. 232 00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,333 - Because I'm not supposed to be the bad cop. 233 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,723 That was your job. - I'm sorry. 234 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:55,376 You seemed on board. - It's called acting. 235 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:56,810 Okay, when you watch "Terms of Endearment," 236 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,687 Debra Winger doesn't actually have cancer. 237 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,298 - I haven't seen it yet. It's on my list. 238 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,638 But I still have a lot of TV to get through. 239 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,728 We're in a golden age of television. 240 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,823 - Look, last month, I thought I might be pregnant. 241 00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:10,438 I had missed a few periods, and I was gaining some weight-- 242 00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,609 - Oh, no way, you were gaining weight? 243 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,695 I didn't even notice. 244 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,354 Look at her. 245 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:19,228 - Anyway, I took the test, 246 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:23,060 and while I was waiting, I kind of realized 247 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,060 I kind of wanted to be pregnant again. 248 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,712 - Oh, yeah, 'cause Emma's a dud. 249 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:31,235 - Right, no, JK, she's my fave. 250 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:34,422 - Because I remembered how amazing it felt. 251 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,419 It's like, you're carrying this life. 252 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:39,812 You're a god. I don't know, 253 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:42,416 I was kind of sad when I got just the one cloud. 254 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,207 - Yeah. 255 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,078 They recalled all the Supercloud tests 256 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,515 after a bunch of false negatives. 257 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:52,131 The Midwest is drowning in blooper babies. 258 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,444 - Excuse me. 259 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,180 - Probably trying to get her money back. 260 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:07,226 . 261 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,535 - I know it's probably not the best timing, 262 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,801 but this is why you need to read the memos. 263 00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:15,852 Look at it this way, you said you wanted 264 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,072 to be pregnant again. - I was obviously lying. 265 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,382 No one wants to be pregnant. It's terrible. 266 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:22,198 - Okay, first things first, 267 00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,676 let's figure out who the father is. 268 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,636 All right, let's make a list of all the people 269 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,505 you've had sex with over the last few months. 270 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:30,336 - Oh, Alex, Tate, write small, there could be dozens. 271 00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:32,335 - It's not either one of them. 272 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:37,165 I was taking it slow with Alex, and I almost had sex with Tate. 273 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,738 He started doing one-armed pushups, 274 00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,565 and he fell and got embarrassed, and so he left. 275 00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,572 He said he had a meeting, but it was like 2:00 a.m. 276 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,321 - It was Adam. 277 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,582 - Yeah, they broke up a couple months ago. 278 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,233 - She broke up with him, though, right? 279 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,757 It's the only scenario where it makes sense. 280 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,061 - He came over to pick up some stuff, 281 00:11:57,107 --> 00:12:00,327 and we were both feeling a little lonely, so, 282 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:03,591 we started drinking. Then we started laughing 283 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,375 and talking about the good old days, 284 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,120 and he was wearing an Obama T-shirt, 285 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,471 and I just miss Obama so much. 286 00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:12,781 - Wow, it's like, thanks, Obama. 287 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:16,519 - Funny to think I was the one who was freaking out before. 288 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:19,611 You know what? It doesn't matter. 289 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,311 - Guys, come on, it's just an envelope. 290 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,999 It's got to be somewhere. - Oh, look. 291 00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,617 I found my retainer. 292 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:29,398 - Oh. - Ah, it doesn't fit. 293 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,454 My teeth must have shifted. 294 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:34,229 - Again, let's stop looking for treasure, 295 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,095 and find the envelope. 296 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:40,931 - Looks like hiking gear. 297 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,547 I'll say something to him. - Yes, but remember. 298 00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,238 Bad cop, good cop. - I've done plays. 299 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:48,291 Hey, check out how light these are. 300 00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:50,772 Carbon fiber--sorry, they're probably a little sweaty. 301 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:54,473 - Nice, uh, are we outside people now? 302 00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:57,212 Investing in gear? - Yeah, treat myself. 303 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,824 - Hey, here's a question: how are you gonna 304 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,815 pay for all that without a job? - Uh, I have savings. 305 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,128 - Well, he's a grown man. 306 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:05,523 He can spend his money how he wants. 307 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,607 - Yeah, well, he's just gonna blow through 308 00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,567 all those savings before you know it, and then what, huh? 309 00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,706 You just gonna be a bum? - Uh, I don't think 310 00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,839 I'm gonna be a bum-- 311 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,452 I think it's time I drop a little truth bomb on you, okay? 312 00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,843 You're a grown man. You're too young to retire, 313 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:23,587 and you're way too old to start mountain climbing, 314 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:26,848 or whatever this is, so snap out of it, okay, bub? 315 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,853 Grow up, get a job, and be a man. 316 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,506 Kapow! Truth bomb! 317 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,120 - Who the hell are you to talk to him that way? 318 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,692 He is more man than you'll ever be. 319 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,168 - If we're talking about 320 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,468 truth bombs, well, take shelter, 321 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,654 'cause I'm about to make it rain. 322 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:44,910 - Hey, Adam, it's Amy. Um, give me a call. 323 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:49,094 I have a story to tell you. It's kind of a long story. 324 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:51,182 That ends with a baby. Our baby. 325 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,881 Nope, re-record. 326 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,879 Hey Adam, who has two thumbs and your baby inside of her? 327 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:56,972 Nope. 328 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,840 Hey, baby! No. 329 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,711 If you want to split Emma's tap shoes with me, 330 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,492 you can just Venmo me the cash, but again, 331 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,797 the pregnancy was the main point of the call. 332 00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:09,016 So remember that phrase, just once for old times' sake? 333 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,455 Ugh, what are you doing? 334 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,422 Just call me, okay? We need to talk. 335 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:16,291 I have to tell you that it is... 336 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,903 Cinco de Mayo Eve. Arriba. 337 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:22,425 - Hey, Amy, which of these looks most like a baby? 338 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:25,390 - Um, they're all bad. 339 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:33,001 - Or how about we talk about your girl, Kelly, for a sec? 340 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:35,656 With her fortune teller sleeves and her Dallas eye shadow? 341 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,270 - Okay, I think we've gotten a little off topic. 342 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,441 - Guys, Jonah's right. This is stupid. 343 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,747 I'm not gonna go hiking, all right? 344 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,403 I take the elevator to the second floor. 345 00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,147 Let me just--I'm gonna put this stuff back. 346 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,628 - No, wait, you don't have to. 347 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,239 I'll take the first job that comes along. 348 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,719 I hear Spud City's hiring a peeler. 349 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,409 That seems about right. - There you go. 350 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,586 It's about time you started facing reality. 351 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,422 - Jonah, stop, seriously. Just look at him. 352 00:14:57,461 --> 00:15:00,251 Don't work at Spud City, or wherever. 353 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,380 Just We'll be all right. 354 00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:09,003 - Yeah, Mateo's right. I crossed a line. 355 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:12,168 You shouldn't take any job that doesn't make you truly happy. 356 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,439 - How do you not get how this works? 357 00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:15,998 He was finally gonna get a job. 358 00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:19,005 - I'm sorry, it's confusing. You're a very good actor. 359 00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,698 - I've also done plays. 360 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,655 ["Absolutely [Story of a Girl]" by Nine Days] 361 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:25,104 - ♪ This is the story of a girl ♪ 362 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,841 ♪ Who cried a river and drowned the whole world ♪ 363 00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:30,673 ♪ While she looks so sad in photo-- ♪ 364 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:38,850 - Oh, hey, Amy. I need your advice. 365 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,334 - Yeah, right now's not the best time-- 366 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,554 - Yeah, I want to surprise Jerusha 367 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,473 with some baby stuff at the party 368 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:47,028 that can work for a boy or girl. 369 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,856 Are bottles too wiener 370 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:50,654 - I--yeah, I don't know, maybe, sure. 371 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,428 - Okay. God, there's so much stuff, 372 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,913 it's overwhelming. 373 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,523 - Yeah, it's a lot. It's very overwhelming. 374 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:59,523 - You got your wub-a-nub, cribs, a infant carrier, 375 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,257 wipe warmers-- what is this kid, 376 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:04,178 the Queen of England? - I can't be here right now. 377 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,754 Excuse me. - Hey-- 378 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,310 - Come on. 379 00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:11,804 - Look, Dina, 380 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,320 I know I'm supposed to be working, okay? 381 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,023 But I just-- I can't be here right now. 382 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:18,671 I need to go somewhere, just anywhere away from here. 383 00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,676 And I can't get this stupid timecard 384 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,028 to work in the thing! 385 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,159 - Hey, hey, hey. Let's get out of here. 386 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,421 Okay, thank you. 387 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:33,380 - Sorry, I just feel weird about not clocking out. 388 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:37,340 . 389 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:43,086 ♪ 390 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:45,092 - Of course, the eventual plan would be to hike 391 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,924 the Appalachian Trail, but for now, 392 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,312 I'm just gonna walk around the reservoir. 393 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,436 - Cool. 394 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,787 Bo and I did it there once. - Oh. 395 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,837 - I've gone from expense accounts and hotel dinners 396 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,973 to having to figure out what "squat and bury" means. 397 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,926 - I don't know, I think he's kind of pulling off that hat. 398 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:04,108 He looks like if Freddie Mercury was going fly fishing. 399 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:07,293 - Attention, ladies and germs. 400 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,250 Sorry, I've always wanted to say that. 401 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:14,032 - Oh, no, she's not here. 402 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,466 I guess we'll have to reschedule. 403 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:18,252 - No, we can--we'll wait. - Oh. 404 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,429 - So are we talking broken condom, 405 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,388 or a pull and pray situation? 406 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,607 - Sure. 407 00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,137 Sure, sure. 408 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,660 What do you think Alex is gonna say 409 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,443 when he finds out you're pregnant with Adam's baby? 410 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,878 - Let's not talk about that either. 411 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,534 - Okay, all right. 412 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,062 Are you gonna get an abortion? 413 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,712 - How about we just listen to the radio? 414 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,706 Oh, right, no radio. 415 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,798 - Look, we can ride in silence. That is fine by me. 416 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:49,717 I just needed to know if I should head towards the clinic. 417 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,510 The abortion clinic. 418 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,993 For an abortion. 419 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,341 - No. 420 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,860 Let's not head to the abortion clinic. 421 00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,823 - Yeah. 422 00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,606 - Hey, Siri, cancel route. 423 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,091 - Okay, I've stopped navigating. 424 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:18,661 - Enough waiting! 425 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,360 - It's white. What does that mean? 426 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,886 - Maybe you guys are having a white baby. 427 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,540 - That's awesome. Congratulations! 428 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,145 - Garrett said that he was gonna take care of 429 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,886 the gender reveal, so we just got a regular cake. 430 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,717 I made the melon baby. 431 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:41,210 - Uh, I don't know. 432 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,990 - I mean, I-- I mean, I don't know. 433 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:47,295 You don't know. The doctor doesn't even know. 434 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:50,173 I mean, what is gender, anyway, right? 435 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,516 It's just a construct. I mean, look around. 436 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,176 We got a football, you got ballet. 437 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,271 You guys are writing this baby's code 438 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:58,920 before it even comes out! 439 00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:02,013 You're perpetuating gender stereotypes! 440 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,973 How about we let this kid figure out its own gender? 441 00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,282 You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. 442 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,538 - It's just that things were finally back on track. 443 00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:14,587 You know? 444 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,201 Like, I was dating someone nice. 445 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,773 Emma's almost out of the house, 446 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:22,419 and I was gonna get out there and have fun. 447 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,815 You know, I was gonna take skydiving lessons. 448 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,899 - Well, you have an excuse not to do it now. 449 00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,988 I was gonna do it. 450 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:30,777 - Mm-hmm. - I visited the website 451 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:32,211 like five times. - Yeah, what's the name 452 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:34,038 of the place? 453 00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:36,515 Captain Rick's... 454 00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:38,216 Skydiving... 455 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,094 Bonanza. - Mm-hmm. 456 00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:42,215 - Fine, the point is, I wanted the option 457 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,398 to take the skydiving lessons, you know? 458 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:46,234 I wanted to be able to be spontaneous 459 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,492 and do what I wanted to do for once, you know? 460 00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:51,665 All of the stuff that I'd... 461 00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:53,372 Who cares, doesn't matter anymore. 462 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,409 - Listen, if you ask me, 463 00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,935 you can always find a reason not to do anything. 464 00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:01,809 And if there is stuff you want to do, 465 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,422 do that stuff. 466 00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,812 - Yeah. 467 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:09,597 Maybe. I don't know. 468 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,993 - Have you ever played laser tag? 469 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:14,466 Oh, it is awesome. 470 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,607 They tell you not to run, but you can run. 471 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,300 You can. 472 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:28,400 ♪ 473 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,838 - Hey. - Hey. 474 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:36,672 - Oh, you know how crazy gender reveal parties get. 475 00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:37,893 - Yeah. 476 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,672 There was so much Chianti, 477 00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:43,936 and the mozzarell' and the unlimited bread-a sticks. 478 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:50,603 ♪ We like dancing and we look divine ♪ 479 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,990 ♪ You love bands when they're playing hard ♪ 480 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:58,165 ♪ You want more and you want it torn ♪ 481 00:20:58,213 --> 00:21:01,523 ♪ They put you down, they say I'm wrong ♪ 482 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:05,614 ♪ You tacky thing, you put them on ♪ 483 00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:09,175 ♪ Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress ♪ 484 00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:13,274 ♪ Rebel rebel, your face is a mess ♪ 485 00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,797 - I, uh-- - I'm pregnant. 486 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,760 - ♪ Hot tramp, I love you so