1
00:00:05,248 --> 00:00:06,914
Whoop-whoop!

2
00:00:06,916 --> 00:00:09,049
What are you doing?
He's so peaceful.

3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:10,251
Just let him be.

4
00:00:10,253 --> 00:00:13,187
Man, if i got to be awake,
he got to be awake.

5
00:00:13,189 --> 00:00:15,689
yo! Old white dude!

6
00:00:15,691 --> 00:00:17,825
Black people taking over!

7
00:00:17,827 --> 00:00:20,527
Ooh.
That usually wakes 'em up.

8
00:00:20,529 --> 00:00:23,797
He's not...
No, he couldn't be.

9
00:00:23,799 --> 00:00:25,666
Hey.

10
00:00:25,668 --> 00:00:28,002
Hey, pop-pop.
Hey--ah!

11
00:00:28,004 --> 00:00:31,405
Oh, jonah touched a dead guy!
Jonah touched a dead guy!

12
00:00:36,212 --> 00:00:38,012
Well, we can likely
rule out foul play.

13
00:00:38,014 --> 00:00:39,914
According to his license,
he was 87.

14
00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,181
Probably died of old age.

15
00:00:41,183 --> 00:00:43,550
My great-grandma died
the same way.

16
00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:46,587
Her mom too.
Bad genes, i guess.

17
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,455
So, she just kept
the dead man's wallet,

18
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:49,723
And we're all okay with that?

19
00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,158
Finders keepers.

20
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,662
Anyway, uh, i thought
we should all gather

21
00:00:54,664 --> 00:00:57,231
As a group in sort of
a safe space

22
00:00:57,233 --> 00:00:59,867
So that we can share any
feelings that we have

23
00:00:59,869 --> 00:01:01,502
About what happened.

24
00:01:01,504 --> 00:01:05,472
Um, is anyone feeling
any sadness?

25
00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:07,207
Or shock?

26
00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:08,809
Or guilt?

27
00:01:08,811 --> 00:01:11,345
There are no wrong answers.

28
00:01:11,347 --> 00:01:12,780
Yes, garrett.

29
00:01:12,782 --> 00:01:14,515
I guess apathy.

30
00:01:14,517 --> 00:01:17,584
I don't got any feelings
about this dude.

31
00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:20,120
Okay, uh, garrett,
thank you for sharing.

32
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:25,159
Um, is anyone else feeling
feelings of apathy?

33
00:01:25,161 --> 00:01:27,328
Okay, well, that's valid.

34
00:01:27,330 --> 00:01:29,630
That's va--no, it's not valid!
You know what?

35
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:32,366
No one is leaving this room
until i see someone

36
00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:34,969
Express some real g-d emotion!

37
00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:38,872
Uh, well, perhaps
seeing a dead person today

38
00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:42,710
Made us all realize how fragile
the journey of life really is.

39
00:01:42,712 --> 00:01:44,078
Thank you.

40
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,780
A little cliché,
but points for effort.

41
00:01:46,782 --> 00:01:49,116
All right, um,
why don't we just all

42
00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:51,185
Bow our heads--
no religion in the workplace.

43
00:01:51,187 --> 00:01:52,953
Okay, a moment of silence.
Nope.

44
00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:55,222
Not if you're
thinking about god.

45
00:01:55,224 --> 00:01:58,926
Okay, amy, could you come and
say a few secular words?

46
00:02:03,132 --> 00:02:04,865
Um...

47
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:10,904
Charles, uh,
wasn't just a man

48
00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:13,674
Who needed corrective lenses,

49
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:17,378
He was also
not an organ donor.

50
00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:22,182
And, um, in conclusion,
he lived on oak street.

51
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,317
Thank you.

52
00:02:23,319 --> 00:02:26,120
so tragic.

53
00:02:26,122 --> 00:02:27,688
What's gonna happen
to the couch?

54
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:28,789
What? The couch?

55
00:02:28,791 --> 00:02:30,657
It was the fanciest one
in the store.

56
00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,659
He died on the fancy couch?

57
00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:35,496
Does that mean
it's gonna be on sale?

58
00:02:35,498 --> 00:02:37,331
We don't have to tell anyone
somebody died on it.

59
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,367
Not disclosing
someone died on it is lying.

60
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,102
I'm a man of truth, dina.

61
00:02:42,104 --> 00:02:43,570
Maybe lying's your thing.

62
00:02:43,572 --> 00:02:45,172
Oh, you like truth, huh?
Yeah.

63
00:02:46,308 --> 00:02:47,841
You have the hands
of a middle-aged woman.

64
00:02:47,843 --> 00:02:49,510
You want to play
the truth game?

65
00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:50,544
Sure.
Fine.

66
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,413
Your podcast is a mess.

67
00:02:52,415 --> 00:02:54,548
Yeah, no one wants to hear
your rambling.

68
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,950
Just get to the interview.

69
00:03:09,932 --> 00:03:11,632
You're loading that wrong.

70
00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:14,835
Oh, um,
thank you, little girl,

71
00:03:14,837 --> 00:03:17,938
But i think i know
what i'm doing.

72
00:03:18,974 --> 00:03:20,674
There we go.

73
00:03:20,676 --> 00:03:22,309
Just got to use a little muscle.

74
00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:24,445
Can i have one?
Sure.

75
00:03:24,447 --> 00:03:26,046
And i don't know if you--

76
00:03:26,048 --> 00:03:29,650
Emma, there you are.
I told--

77
00:03:29,652 --> 00:03:32,386
You loaded it wrong?

78
00:03:32,388 --> 00:03:35,022
Wait a minute.
That's your daughter!

79
00:03:35,024 --> 00:03:37,257
Shh! We're not allowed
to bring our kids to work.

80
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,525
Oh.

81
00:03:38,527 --> 00:03:39,927
My sitter cancelled,
and she's hanging out

82
00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,595
For a couple hours, but can
you please not tell glenn or...

83
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,063
Shh.
Dina.

84
00:03:43,065 --> 00:03:44,231
No, no, no, no,
your secret is safe with me.

85
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,500
I'm not telling anybody.
Hi, i'm jonah.

86
00:03:46,502 --> 00:03:49,770
Yeah, i figured.
You're right, he is incompetent.

87
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,672
You told her
i was incompetent?

88
00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:54,041
Ba-na-na-na.
Talk about me at home?

89
00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:57,077
I don't know if i should be
flattered or insulted.

90
00:03:57,079 --> 00:03:59,546
Don't be flattered.

91
00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:09,256
hey, garrett.

92
00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:12,059
I've got a shoplifter
in my crosshairs.

93
00:04:12,061 --> 00:04:13,560
Hmm, i've taken
four breaks today,

94
00:04:13,562 --> 00:04:15,996
So i guess we both got
stuff to brag about.

95
00:04:25,608 --> 00:04:28,609
my baby!

96
00:04:31,914 --> 00:04:35,149
Gotcha,
you gorgeous piece of garbage.

97
00:04:36,352 --> 00:04:37,384
Did you get to the part where
he finds--

98
00:04:38,521 --> 00:04:40,420
Well hurry up,
i want to talk about it.

99
00:04:40,422 --> 00:04:43,090
Amy, can i see you
for a minute?

100
00:04:43,092 --> 00:04:47,528
Um, wait, i have to watch
the jewelry counter.

101
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,796
Jonah?
Watch jewelry, will you?

102
00:04:49,798 --> 00:04:52,032
Sure.
Um, no.

103
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:55,736
I don't think, um,
jonah has very much experience

104
00:04:55,738 --> 00:04:58,906
With...Jewelry.

105
00:04:58,908 --> 00:05:02,342
I don't have
any jewelry of my own,

106
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,078
But my brothers
have some jewelry

107
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,681
That i've played with.

108
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:10,551
Amy.

109
00:05:10,553 --> 00:05:14,555
Um...Yeah. Okay.
Uh...

110
00:05:14,557 --> 00:05:17,457
Well, i'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.

111
00:05:17,459 --> 00:05:20,260
Stay here, and, uh,
whatever you do,

112
00:05:20,262 --> 00:05:22,262
Don't bring attention
to the jewelry.

113
00:05:22,264 --> 00:05:25,899
Trust me, no one will know
the jewelry is here.

114
00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:29,436
There is so much
i don't understand about sales.

115
00:05:32,841 --> 00:05:34,508
Hiya.

116
00:05:34,510 --> 00:05:36,677
So what else did mom
say about me?

117
00:05:36,679 --> 00:05:39,880
Aside from the general
incompetence.

118
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:42,015
I have to go
to the bathroom.

119
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:44,351
Oh, "maze runner!"

120
00:05:44,353 --> 00:05:47,454
We must chat when you get back.
I have lots of opinions.

121
00:05:47,456 --> 00:05:49,256
I'm a hunter.

122
00:05:49,258 --> 00:05:52,392
Some people
like to hunt elk, or deer.

123
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,927
I hunt people,

124
00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:57,598
And your head
is going on my wall.

125
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,466
I didn't steal anything.

126
00:05:59,468 --> 00:06:01,568
Oh, you didn't?

127
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,003
Well, this was easy.

128
00:06:03,005 --> 00:06:04,738
Sorry for the mix-up,
you can go.

129
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,808
Here, let me get you your purse.
Oops!

130
00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:09,109
Ha ha!

131
00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:11,245
Well, well, well, lookie what
we've got here.

132
00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:12,779
That's mine.
I came in with it.

133
00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,548
How convenient for you.

134
00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:16,216
Well...
.

135
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:18,552
I guess it's just my word
against yours then.

136
00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:21,054
if only i had
some sort of device

137
00:06:21,056 --> 00:06:23,790
Right at my fingertips that
recorded your illegal activity.

138
00:06:23,792 --> 00:06:26,226
oh.

139
00:06:26,228 --> 00:06:28,061
If only i could
simply press a button,

140
00:06:28,063 --> 00:06:29,930
And see that recording.

141
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,132
Oh.

142
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,277
If only that had worked.

143
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,012
I have always wanted...
You? No, no, no...

144
00:06:45,014 --> 00:06:46,413
A blue couch!
Okay.

145
00:06:46,415 --> 00:06:47,614
My home is all about--
hey, hey, hey!

146
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,915
Okay, okay.

147
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:50,450
Y'all in judge garrett's
court now.

148
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:53,920
You both want the couch.
Plead your case. Go.

149
00:06:53,922 --> 00:06:57,791
I'm pregnant,
and i have so little...

150
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,726
Where's the baby gonna sit?

151
00:06:59,728 --> 00:07:01,962
Uh, fake cry.

152
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:05,465
I invented fake crying.

153
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,335
She was my sister!

154
00:07:08,337 --> 00:07:10,003
God...

155
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:11,638
I just want to hold her
one more time...

156
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,740
Wow, you could be
in a lifetime movie.

157
00:07:13,742 --> 00:07:16,410
Thanks.
We gonna do this the easy way.

158
00:07:16,412 --> 00:07:17,511
You want the couch?

159
00:07:17,513 --> 00:07:19,379
Whoever sits on it
the longest gets it.

160
00:07:19,381 --> 00:07:21,515
You get up, you lose.
You in?

161
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,150
Absolutely.
Yup.

162
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:26,286
"it is not death
a man should fear,

163
00:07:26,288 --> 00:07:29,256
But never beginning to live."

164
00:07:29,258 --> 00:07:31,124
Marcus aurelius.

165
00:07:31,126 --> 00:07:33,794
"i don't got no fear of death."

166
00:07:33,796 --> 00:07:36,463
Tupac shakur.

167
00:07:36,465 --> 00:07:38,432
Those are beautiful, glenn.
Thank you.

168
00:07:38,434 --> 00:07:39,733
You're welcome.

169
00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:43,303
Um, i think i need to get back
to the jewelry counter.

170
00:07:43,305 --> 00:07:45,806
Oh, sure,
get back to jewelry.

171
00:07:45,808 --> 00:07:47,941
A man died here today.

172
00:07:47,943 --> 00:07:51,812
When i die, will it be
business as usual?

173
00:07:51,814 --> 00:07:55,349
Jewelry, cosmetics,
sporting goods, electronics,

174
00:07:55,351 --> 00:07:56,650
Grocery--
no, you're right.

175
00:07:56,652 --> 00:07:58,185
You're right, glenn.
Men's apparel.

176
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:01,722
Women's apparel.
Housewares. Seasonal.

177
00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:04,091
Well, would it
make you feel better

178
00:08:04,093 --> 00:08:07,728
If we did something
for his family?

179
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:10,530
I know a guy who makes
life-size puppets

180
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,899
Of the deceased using
their actual hair.

181
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,868
Well, that's one idea.
Here's another one.

182
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,237
What if we sent his family
a condolence card?

183
00:08:17,239 --> 00:08:19,306
Oh, that's even better.

184
00:08:19,308 --> 00:08:21,808
'cause those puppets
are pretty horrifying.

185
00:08:25,013 --> 00:08:27,514
Hey, emma?

186
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,349
You--you've been in here
a while.

187
00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:31,218
Is--is everything okay?

188
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,820
I'm fine.
Can you get my mom?

189
00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:36,123
Uh, you know,
your mom is actually

190
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,991
With our boss right now,
and i don't want

191
00:08:37,993 --> 00:08:39,092
To get her in trouble, so--

192
00:08:39,094 --> 00:08:40,360
Can you please
just get her?

193
00:08:40,362 --> 00:08:42,629
Uh, you know, emma,
whatever it is,

194
00:08:42,631 --> 00:08:44,498
You can trust me,
i promise you--

195
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,100
I got my first period!

196
00:08:47,102 --> 00:08:48,335
I'm gonna go get your mom.

197
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,870
Hey, have you seen amy?

198
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,880
Amy...

199
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:04,680
I got to get back to jewelry,
but this seems very charles.

200
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:05,920
Uh, wait a sec.

201
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,890
Wait, so you detained her
without proof?

202
00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:09,420
There was a faulty
surveillance camera.

203
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:13,090
She could sue the store!
Do you remember linda beavers?

204
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,300
She was fired for falsely
accusing someone of shoplifting.

205
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,630
Wait, linda was fired?
Yeah.

206
00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:20,930
She told me the doctor said
she was too fat to work.

207
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:23,000
Yeah, that was just
her excuse to save face.

208
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,540
Look, i'm not
falsely accusing her.

209
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:26,210
She did it,
i just can't prove it.

210
00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:27,710
Okay, she hasn't
been in there long,

211
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,740
So just apologize,
and hopefully,

212
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:31,080
That'll be the end of it.

213
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,650
You want me to let her go?
I saw her do it!

214
00:09:33,650 --> 00:09:35,550
It doesn't matter
what you saw.

215
00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:38,080
Just cut your losses
and move on.

216
00:09:38,090 --> 00:09:39,820
That's an order.

217
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,990
I just sounded like
my wife right there.

218
00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:44,090
Hey, emma,
i want you to know

219
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:46,090
I can't find your mom,
but don't worry,

220
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,960
I can handle it.

221
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,900
And i'm in the men's room.

222
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,830
I want you to know,
i can't find your mom,

223
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:53,430
But don't worry,
i can handle it.

224
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,870
Are you sure?

225
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:57,440
'cause my mom said you're not
that good at doing stuff.

226
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,270
Did your mom ever say anything
positive about me?

227
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,010
This is not about me.

228
00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:04,280
It is unfortunate that

229
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,180
The situation arose
where you were accused

230
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:10,750
Of something that,
due to circumstance,

231
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:11,990
The proof that you did it...

232
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:14,590
was lost.

233
00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:18,630
Such that, to anyone
who wasn't there in person,

234
00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,260
They wouldn't know
you had did it.

235
00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:22,300
I'm sorry,
is this an apology?

236
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,230
Yes,
and don't say sorry to me.

237
00:10:24,230 --> 00:10:26,230
I don't accept.
Uh, don't worry. I won't.

238
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:27,270
I'm leaving.
Okay.

239
00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:28,640
Just need you
to sign this form

240
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,870
Stating that i let you go and
that you won't sue the store.

241
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:32,810
Anything to get away from
your polyester blend shirt

242
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:35,710
And that stupid little ponytail
you're forced to wear.

243
00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:37,380
Uh, the ponytail
is not forced.

244
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,980
It is one of 12 approved
hairstyles for female employees.

245
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:42,350
Mm, well, whatever it is,
it's pitiful.

246
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,780
Oh, i'm sorry.
I forgot you work retail.

247
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:47,320
Pitiful means sad.

248
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,990
I know you stole.

249
00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:51,830
Oh yeah?
Prove it.

250
00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:55,030
We're just
getting started, lady!

251
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,230
I cannot physically touch you,

252
00:10:57,230 --> 00:11:00,100
But i can get very close.

253
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,770
So, the episiotomy
is when they have to snip

254
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,870
The area between your vagina
and your butthole

255
00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:06,370
So that you don't
tear your peehole.

256
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,840
You know,
it's not working, okay?

257
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,240
I'm not getting off this couch.

258
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,510
And it's all held together
by a mucus plug,

259
00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:14,050
So imagine, like,
a bag of cherry pie filling,

260
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:15,950
But it has a hole in it,
but the hole's being blocked

261
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,050
By a big ball of snot.

262
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:19,720
Yep, yep, miracle of life.
Get it.

263
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,020
I wonder if
i'll eat my placenta.

264
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,420
Hey, uh, dina?
I'm in a hurry.

265
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,920
If you want to talk,
you have to walk with me.

266
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:27,090
Uh, okay, this is
gonna sound crazy, but,

267
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,900
Do you remember
your first period?

268
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,030
Because--
february 4th, 2003.

269
00:11:31,030 --> 00:11:33,100
It was a tuesday.
Unseasonably warm.

270
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,030
Okay, so--
i was 19.

271
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,240
Late bloomer, though i've more
than made up for that since.

272
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,910
My gyno says i ovulate
like a champ.

273
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:41,570
I drop eggs hard.
All right, uh--

274
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,640
You know my aunt was born
with two vaginas?

275
00:11:43,650 --> 00:11:44,780
Yeah, she always thought
it would help her date,

276
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:45,980
But it didn't.

277
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,380
She died alone.
Well, she will die alone.

278
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,150
She's still alive.
She's only like 50 or something.

279
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:50,880
Okay, thanks.

280
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:52,990
Think i got
all the information i need.

281
00:11:52,990 --> 00:11:56,460
god, i'm good at flirting.

282
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,700
Hey! You! Rodriguez!
Follow me.

283
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:06,900
What's the hold up?

284
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,970
Well, i don't like when people
snap in my face.

285
00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:11,570
I'm busy.
My name's not "rodriguez."

286
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:14,040
There are so many reasons.
I need your help.

287
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,780
That shoplifter's
still upstairs.

288
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:17,510
Dina,
you didn't let her go?

289
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:19,380
You heard glenn,
you could lose your job.

290
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,180
Not if we can
get her to confess.

291
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,650
We--uh, sorry. We?

292
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,180
Look, i know
we've never been close.

293
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:26,390
Frankly, there are a lot of
things i can't stand about you,

294
00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:29,360
But right now,
you're the only person i trust.

295
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,260
Um...No.

296
00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:35,260
Please...I...

297
00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:37,700
I don't want to lose my job.

298
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,030
Is this gonna take
a long time?

299
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:40,600
No.

300
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,340
I mean, i was hoping for
a quick nacho bar fuel up,

301
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,040
But we can skip that.

302
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,070
I mean, unless you...
No.

303
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,170
We'll skip it!
We'll skip it.

304
00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:51,580
I'm an 11-year-old girl.
Do i like pads or tampons?

305
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:54,080
Hyp--hypothetically.

306
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,080
Oh, hey, dude.

307
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,850
You want to split a pizza
for lunch break?

308
00:12:57,850 --> 00:12:59,320
What do you know
about periods?

309
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,490
Oh, it's bleeding
from the uterus

310
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,960
That's released
through the vagina.

311
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,990
Happens every 28 days,
give or take a few,

312
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:05,990
Depending on the lady.

313
00:13:05,990 --> 00:13:07,430
They all snowflakes.

314
00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:09,160
So was that a no for pizza?

315
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,960
I don't think
i'm hungry anymore.

316
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,700
Whoo, i am.

317
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,800
So how, exactly, are we
getting her to confess?

318
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,840
We're going classic
good cop, bad cop.

319
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,270
Like they do in the movies?

320
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,370
Trust me.
I've been doing this for years.

321
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:22,680
This'll work.

322
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,910
Okay, good cop, bad cop.

323
00:13:26,810 --> 00:13:29,380
Hey, there,
this is my bestie, amy.

324
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:32,390
Be careful of her,
she's a little unstable.

325
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,460
Um...
.

326
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:38,060
Listen up, dirt bag.
Ow.

327
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:41,190
Do you need
some water or a mint?

328
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,260
God, you're just so pretty.

329
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:43,600
Are you gonna let me go,
or what?

330
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,270
I want to,
but amy here is a maniac.

331
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:48,430
She's loco.

332
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,910
uh, yeah, loco!
Loco 'bout bustin' perps!

333
00:13:57,050 --> 00:14:00,780
Oh, hey, um, i've decided
to take up a collection

334
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,480
For the dead fella's family.

335
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,350
Maybe you guys could, like,
take this around

336
00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:06,150
And get the other employees
to donate?

337
00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:08,950
Got it.
Money for the dead guy.

338
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,090
Mm-hmm. Oh.
Great.

339
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:15,030
Should i just put it...

340
00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:17,330
Yeah, just, you can
set it down.

341
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:18,730
Good.

342
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,870
You know that's the couch
he died on.

343
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:25,670
Okay, uncle jonah's back.

344
00:14:25,670 --> 00:14:27,110
Gross.

345
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:29,580
Please pretend i did not just
call myself "uncle jonah."

346
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:30,740
Did you get something?

347
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,010
Yep, these are colorful.
Oh!

348
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:35,820
And this one has a girl playing
soccer on the cover.

349
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:37,650
I just want
whatever's easy to use.

350
00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:40,650
I got to be honest, none of
these really look easy to use.

351
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,890
My cousin ricky
started out shoplifting.

352
00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:45,420
Now he's bangin' out
license plates in some prison

353
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:48,430
Trying to avoid a big guy
named crazy eyes.

354
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:51,300
Crazy eyes is a character
in "orange is the new black."

355
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,070
Crazy eyes is a character
in every prison in america,

356
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:55,870
Ladrona puta.

357
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,140
Is she okay?

358
00:14:58,140 --> 00:14:59,270
I don't understand what's
happening.

359
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:00,710
It's boxing.

360
00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:02,510
Okay, listen
rizzoli and isles,

361
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,840
I'm not confessing to anything,

362
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:06,510
Especially not to two
minimum-wage morons.

363
00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:07,610
I'm sorry, what?

364
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,520
Hey, sweetie,
you seem stressed.

365
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,780
Do you want a back rub?
No, no, no, no, no.

366
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:12,180
Who do you think you are?

367
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,190
You can't just walk up in here,
start calling us morons.

368
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:17,590
Amy, forget it, okay?
This clearly isn't working.

369
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:19,990
Guess you're free to go,
courtesy of one broken camera

370
00:15:19,990 --> 00:15:21,030
In the makeup department.

371
00:15:21,030 --> 00:15:23,430
Wait.
You saw her in makeup?

372
00:15:23,430 --> 00:15:24,630
Yeah.

373
00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:25,870
Well, you know,
the cameras in accessories

374
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,070
Also cover makeup.

375
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,830
i just realized.

376
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,140
If we pull the footage
from accessories,

377
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:31,270
We've got our proof!

378
00:15:31,270 --> 00:15:32,240
Yeah, that's
what i was saying.

379
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,140
And you're going down,
thief!

380
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:36,640
Enjoy prison!

381
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,350
oh, boy.

382
00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:45,820
It's a heated competition.

383
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,650
I think you're just
supposed to open it

384
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,320
From--or--nope, i broke it.

385
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,260
Nope. Yep.
That can't be right.

386
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:56,630
It's soft.
Oh, this one looks easy.

387
00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:58,700
That--it travels.
That one's a traveler.

388
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,670
Uh...

389
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,440
Emma, look through the crack.

390
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:07,040
I'm a mummy!
Ahh!

391
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,540
Oh, i'm sorry.
I'll be right out.

392
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,580
I'm helping a little girl.

393
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:14,310
Can't wait to see you bust
that filthy bitch to hell.

394
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,220
You can drop the bad cop act.
It's not an act.

395
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:18,150
I genuinely hate this lady.

396
00:16:18,150 --> 00:16:21,120
Nice.
Oh, here we go.

397
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:28,030
She's innocent.
Yep.

398
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:35,810
Everyone here at cloud 9
is so, so sorry

399
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:38,510
To have inconvenienced you,
and we are willing to

400
00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:41,180
Do anything to make it right.

401
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:44,720
Here are some coupons.
Uh, 25% off air fresheners.

402
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:45,850
Ooh.

403
00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:47,990
Uh, buy one,
get one free toothpaste.

404
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:50,790
And, um, and a free slushie.

405
00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,190
But, you know what,
something tells me

406
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:54,130
You're not a slushie girl,
so i'll just keep that.

407
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,690
Let me be clear.

408
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:57,200
You have two options.

409
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,530
You can either fire
this dum-dum right now,

410
00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:02,100
Or i can go home,
call your corporate offices,

411
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,370
And make them fire her.

412
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:04,940
Okay, let's just
talk this through.

413
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,470
It was one mistake.
I'm leaving.

414
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:09,110
I can't waste
another minute of my life

415
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:12,140
With you back-country idiots.

416
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,920
I like her less than i like
other people.

417
00:17:25,860 --> 00:17:27,730
I can't believe
i'm gonna lose my job.

418
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:31,560
I just upgraded all of the trash
cans in my apartment.

419
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,730
Stupid, dina, stupid!

420
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:37,400
Relax, things have a way
of working out.

421
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,600
Oh, i'm sure
you'll be happy with me gone.

422
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,410
You can turn this place
into some sort of

423
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:43,570
Deranged religious cult.

424
00:17:47,710 --> 00:17:50,880
Well, well, look who
didn't feel like

425
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,190
Paying for their copy of
"barney's great adventure."

426
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:56,920
That's not mine, someone else
must have put it there.

427
00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,290
Now, let me be clear.

428
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,990
You have two options.

429
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,060
You can report dina
to corporate while i report you

430
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:06,630
To the police,

431
00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:11,370
Or we can agree that sometimes
good people make mistakes,

432
00:18:11,370 --> 00:18:14,370
And put this
whole darn thing behind us.

433
00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:15,970
Fine.

434
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:18,380
But i'm never stepping foot
in this dump again.

435
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:22,080
And god grants us
another miracle.

436
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,050
Have a heavenly day.

437
00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:27,490
What?
Did you plant that?

438
00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:30,690
Dina, i'm a man
of truth and principle,

439
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,660
So how can you
even ask me that?

440
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,660
Understood.

441
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:38,000
It was me. I did it.
I saved you.

442
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,870
You owe me so hard!
So hard!

443
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,670
Yeah! I lied!

444
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:43,770
See that?
In the back corner?

445
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:45,140
You see the little family
over there?

446
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:46,840
Kill 'em. Blow 'em up.

447
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,610
Here you are.

448
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:51,210
I'm sorry i was gone so long.

449
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,680
What'd you do all day?

450
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,110
Uh, we mostly played
video games.

451
00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:56,280
It was fun.

452
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,250
Wow.
Yep.

453
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,780
Good job.

454
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,120
Thanks for, uh,
keeping an eye on her.

455
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,090
It was easy.
She's a great kid.

456
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:07,120
Yeah, she is.

457
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,660
Jonah taught me
how to use a maxi pad.

458
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:20,340
Thank you all
for gathering to help me

459
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:23,370
Honor and remember...

460
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,480
Charles maynard rand.

461
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,210
Why do we have
to destroy the couch?

462
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:31,820
Well, for one thing,
it's a wonderful way

463
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,850
To memorialize a man.

464
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:35,650
Plus, i looked up
the store policy.

465
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,860
If a death occurs on
any display furniture,

466
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:38,960
It has to be destroyed.

467
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,630
Who knew?
I knew.

468
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:43,660
Same thing happened at the
kirkwood store a few months ago.

469
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,200
Jonah?
Right.

470
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:57,480
We didn't know charles,
but he chose to spend

471
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,650
The last few
moments of his life with us.

472
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:06,250
Charles, may your soul...

473
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:09,990
Or non-denominational
life force, i guess,

474
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:14,360
Be lifted by
the non-gender-specific

475
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:20,330
Arms of a loving
entity or non-entity--

476
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:23,170
Hey. Just once?

477
00:20:23,170 --> 00:20:24,870
Knock yourself out.

478
00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:26,540
Jesus christ!

479
00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:31,880
The hands of jesus christ,
who saves us from our sins

480
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,580
With his precious blood, and
welcomes us as little lambs...

481
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:38,080
Hey.
Thanks for helping me out today.

482
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,050
Yeah, i got your back.

483
00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,720
I know you brought your
daughter into work.

484
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,520
I got to write you up.
You get it.

485
00:20:46,530 --> 00:20:49,760
We give you the love,
and we take away the evil!

486
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,260
Amen!

487
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:55,170
what a day!

488
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:57,100
How much gas
you put on that thing?

489
00:20:57,100 --> 00:21:01,710
None, and that fabric is
supposed to be fire-retardant.

490
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:03,370
Okay, uh...
Wow.