1
00:00:02,352 --> 00:00:03,281
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

2
00:00:03,281 --> 00:00:05,515
Don't use that one. It's icky.

3
00:00:05,981 --> 00:00:07,647
God doesn't make mistakes very often,

4
00:00:07,649 --> 00:00:09,065
but when he does,

5
00:00:09,067 --> 00:00:10,634
you have to throw them right in the trash.

6
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:11,635
- Oh.
- Does this make sense

7
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:12,686
To anyone else?

8
00:00:12,688 --> 00:00:15,088
White dress, $30.

9
00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:17,490
White wedding dress, $200.

10
00:00:17,492 --> 00:00:19,125
Is there cocaine in this or something?

11
00:00:19,127 --> 00:00:21,094
Yeah. The wedding industry's a racket.

12
00:00:21,096 --> 00:00:23,313
Oh, you think everything is a racket.

13
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:26,633
And that is the last of it, Glenn.

14
00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:28,635
Wow. Hmm.

15
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,288
I'm just gonna say what we all thinking.

16
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:34,474
This is pretty as hell.

17
00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:36,576
Oh, it's 8:00.

18
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:37,927
Ooh, wait. Uh, hold on.

19
00:00:37,929 --> 00:00:39,379
I just want to move that.

20
00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:40,547
That's not in center.

21
00:00:40,549 --> 00:00:42,132
That should be in center.

22
00:00:42,134 --> 00:00:44,401
[Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation"]

23
00:00:44,403 --> 00:00:47,320
[all yelling]

24
00:00:47,322 --> 00:00:50,757
♪ ♪

25
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:51,925
Oh, no, no.

26
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:56,696
♪ ♪

27
00:00:57,983 --> 00:01:00,767
Well, that was a good use
of the last five hours.

28
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,037
[upbeat music]

29
00:01:02,074 --> 00:01:04,066
- synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

30
00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:06,940
[both struggling]

31
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:09,642
They realize they're basically
just fighting over a white net

32
00:01:09,644 --> 00:01:10,877
with glitter on it, right?

33
00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:12,779
Mm, I got five bucks on the blonde.

34
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,147
Yeah, I'll take that action.

35
00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:17,684
How are there already this many go backs?

36
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,302
We've been open for five minutes.

37
00:01:19,304 --> 00:01:21,971
Oh, I'm actually here as a customer today.

38
00:01:21,973 --> 00:01:23,690
How do I look?

39
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,008
Ooh, wow.

40
00:01:25,010 --> 00:01:26,543
Aw, that's hella nice, yo.

41
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,011
Yo, where's the laptops at?

42
00:01:28,013 --> 00:01:29,496
We need, like, five or six of those things.

43
00:01:29,498 --> 00:01:31,097
My band is playing at our wedding.

44
00:01:31,099 --> 00:01:33,016
Yeah, we're gonna smash
computers as part of the act

45
00:01:33,018 --> 00:01:35,685
'cause, you know, like, technology.

46
00:01:35,687 --> 00:01:37,871
Uh... Wow.

47
00:01:37,873 --> 00:01:40,523
That sounds like an expensive
celebration you're planning.

48
00:01:40,525 --> 00:01:42,425
It's about 500 people.

49
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:43,727
I wanted to invite more,

50
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,962
but I couldn't afford any more stamps.

51
00:01:45,964 --> 00:01:47,747
I bet your parents are all, like,

52
00:01:47,749 --> 00:01:51,084
"Don't spend all your money on one day!

53
00:01:51,086 --> 00:01:53,553
Save some for the baby."

54
00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:54,521
Parents.

55
00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:56,005
Nah. Five G's, son.

56
00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:57,941
Yo, what's up? Making it rain!

57
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:00,026
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

58
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,961
Stand down. Drop that paper, yo.

59
00:02:01,963 --> 00:02:03,379
It's mine.

60
00:02:03,381 --> 00:02:04,848
Where did you get all of that?

61
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:07,333
Bo got hit by a car in the seventh grade

62
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,585
By an old lady.

63
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:11,204
She was legally blind and super drunk.

64
00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,806
Isn't he lucky?

65
00:02:12,808 --> 00:02:14,340
Yeah, your boy here was
just crossing the street,

66
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,792
then it was like, crash!

67
00:02:15,794 --> 00:02:17,393
Oh, going to the light.

68
00:02:17,395 --> 00:02:18,845
I'm like, "No god. Later.

69
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,363
I got stuff to accomplish. Later, light."

70
00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:21,598
I pick up a phone.

71
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,133
[mimics dialing] "Yo, Hello, Lawyer?"

72
00:02:23,135 --> 00:02:24,417
"Yo, settle out of court?

73
00:02:24,419 --> 00:02:26,002
I think so. Yes."

74
00:02:26,004 --> 00:02:27,520
Wha-chaah. Money.

75
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,872
Ha-ha!

76
00:02:28,874 --> 00:02:31,624
So you just walk around
with $5,000 in your pocket?

77
00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:33,793
That's right. I always got that right here.

78
00:02:33,795 --> 00:02:35,728
Uh-oh. Where's that five G's?

79
00:02:35,730 --> 00:02:36,996
Yo, I was just kidding, dummies.

80
00:02:36,998 --> 00:02:39,032
I got that right here. Oh, no.

81
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,266
Yo, where's it at, for real?

82
00:02:40,268 --> 00:02:42,102
It's right there.

83
00:02:42,104 --> 00:02:43,937
Oh.

84
00:02:43,939 --> 00:02:45,238
Oh, what's up?

85
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,589
Good looking out, yo.

86
00:02:46,591 --> 00:02:48,308
Please don't tip me.

87
00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:50,210
[grunting] [sighs]

88
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,011
Ma'am, I have the arm strength of a chimp,

89
00:02:52,013 --> 00:02:54,114
but there is just too
much real estate back here.

90
00:02:54,116 --> 00:02:57,217
I'd have to dislocate your shoulder.

91
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,002
Do it.

92
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,653
Okay.

93
00:03:00,655 --> 00:03:01,955
But you'll have to teach
one of your bridesmaids

94
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:03,423
to do this on the day.

95
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:05,558
And they actually have money saved up,

96
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,544
but instead of using
it to pay for the baby,

97
00:03:07,546 --> 00:03:09,829
they're gonna blow it
all on some big party.

98
00:03:09,831 --> 00:03:11,030
What?

99
00:03:11,032 --> 00:03:13,600
Two 17-year-olds are
making a bad decision?

100
00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:14,784
What?

101
00:03:14,786 --> 00:03:16,503
I thought that only happened in the movies.

102
00:03:16,505 --> 00:03:19,155
I'm just saying that I
wish somebody had warned me

103
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,673
Not to spend so much money on a wedding.

104
00:03:20,675 --> 00:03:22,392
I'm telling you.

105
00:03:22,394 --> 00:03:24,444
People do not like to be
told how to spend their money.

106
00:03:24,446 --> 00:03:25,812
Really?

107
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,030
So does that mean you'll stop telling me

108
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,398
To call your "Dad's friend?"

109
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,916
That's about making you money,

110
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,317
and if you saw the charts
that he showed me...

111
00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:33,419
Oh, yeah. The charts.

112
00:03:39,561 --> 00:03:41,761
Hi. Where are the twinkly white lights?

113
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,063
It's an outdoor ceremony, so
they have to be weatherproof.

114
00:03:44,065 --> 00:03:46,232
- I will take you to them.
- Thank you.

115
00:03:46,234 --> 00:03:48,801
Which one of you is the lucky fella?

116
00:03:48,803 --> 00:03:51,321
Oh, well, actually, we both are.

117
00:03:51,323 --> 00:03:53,373
I love that!

118
00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:55,074
The four of you can celebrate

119
00:03:55,076 --> 00:03:57,343
Your anniversary together every year.

120
00:03:57,345 --> 00:03:58,344
- No...
- Congratulations

121
00:03:58,346 --> 00:04:00,430
- On your wedding!
- Yes.

122
00:04:00,432 --> 00:04:01,447
To each other.

123
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,383
- To...
- Yeah.

124
00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:06,719
Oh!

125
00:04:06,721 --> 00:04:08,621
Outdoor lighting is in aisle four.

126
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,039
If you need anything else, just ask.

127
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,491
- Thank you.
- Thanks.

128
00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:13,393
Have a heavenly day!

129
00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:16,045
Thank you.

130
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,747
I don't know how,

131
00:04:17,749 --> 00:04:19,832
but you really seem to have
a handle on this whole gay,

132
00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,051
you know...

133
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,871
Oh!

134
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,673
That's great, Mateo!

135
00:04:26,675 --> 00:04:28,691
Congratulations on that.

136
00:04:28,693 --> 00:04:30,510
You know, I thought you might be,

137
00:04:30,512 --> 00:04:31,911
But I-I wasn't sure,

138
00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:33,363
and then I forgot about it.

139
00:04:33,365 --> 00:04:36,783
But now I know, and
that's terrific with me.

140
00:04:36,785 --> 00:04:38,301
Yeah.

141
00:04:38,303 --> 00:04:39,752
Oh, bam!

142
00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:41,988
I'm about to blow up this alien so bad.

143
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,590
Whoa. Oh.

144
00:04:43,592 --> 00:04:47,827
Chey, you know babies come
with lots of expenses...

145
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,680
Is what your dumb parents would say.

146
00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,482
Remember, from before?

147
00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:54,300
Aah, parents.

148
00:04:54,302 --> 00:04:56,519
- Oh.
- Yeah.

149
00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:58,471
But your parents do make a good point.

150
00:04:58,473 --> 00:05:00,823
Well, my mom said that
we should save some money,

151
00:05:00,825 --> 00:05:04,427
but then, Bo is all like,
"Nah," so it's a tough call.

152
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,447
Dang! Those aliens are smart as hell!

153
00:05:07,449 --> 00:05:09,249
You want to go back to shopping?

154
00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:10,483
- Yes.
- Hey, guys.

155
00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:12,318
You want to play a different game?

156
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,553
Blam!

157
00:05:13,555 --> 00:05:14,754
- Diapers!
- Boom!

158
00:05:14,756 --> 00:05:15,972
- Wipes!
- Blast!

159
00:05:15,974 --> 00:05:17,390
- Bottle warmer.
- Headshot!

160
00:05:17,392 --> 00:05:19,092
- More diapers.
- Poo-poo!

161
00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:20,677
- Breast pump.
- Squirt, squirt!

162
00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:21,928
- Diaper bag.
- Pew, pew!

163
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,529
See you in hell, cute baby stuff.

164
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,315
Bo, you're killing them all!

165
00:05:25,317 --> 00:05:27,066
And time's up.

166
00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:29,102
What's up? 2,500 points!

167
00:05:29,104 --> 00:05:31,804
Your boy here is getting a Charleston Chew!

168
00:05:31,806 --> 00:05:33,573
Actually, those aren't points.

169
00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:36,459
Those are dollars, and that's
how much this stuff costs.

170
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:39,345
This stuff is $2,500?

171
00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:41,314
That's, like, half of Bo's stack.

172
00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:45,518
Plus a car seat and a crib and daycare,

173
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,154
and it just keeps coming.

174
00:05:48,156 --> 00:05:49,756
Dang.

175
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:52,058
I'm gonna have to get hit by so many cars.

176
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,243
Maybe we should save
some of our wedding money

177
00:05:54,245 --> 00:05:55,628
for the future.

178
00:05:55,630 --> 00:05:57,981
Huh, yeah.

179
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,415
You could do that.

180
00:05:59,417 --> 00:06:01,301
You do have to make some sacrifices

181
00:06:01,303 --> 00:06:02,685
When you're a parent.

182
00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:06,773
I mean, your whole life changes.

183
00:06:06,775 --> 00:06:10,476
Bo, you look weird.

184
00:06:10,478 --> 00:06:11,527
Yeah. Hey.

185
00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:13,112
But I think it's great

186
00:06:13,114 --> 00:06:15,064
That you guys are starting
to think about being...

187
00:06:15,066 --> 00:06:17,367
Aah!

188
00:06:17,369 --> 00:06:18,651
- Hey, look out.
- Bo?

189
00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:19,869
Excuse me. Oh, sorry.

190
00:06:19,871 --> 00:06:22,822
Bo?

191
00:06:22,824 --> 00:06:24,490
I was gonna say "responsible."

192
00:06:26,924 --> 00:06:29,698
Where did you go? Please come back.

193
00:06:29,698 --> 00:06:31,315
I love you.

194
00:06:31,317 --> 00:06:33,083
It's Cheyenne, by the way.

195
00:06:33,085 --> 00:06:34,685
Hey, you had to go freak
the little dummy out?

196
00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:35,986
Well, it's not my fault.

197
00:06:35,988 --> 00:06:36,987
Oh, she's right.

198
00:06:36,988 --> 00:06:38,671
She was just teaching us this fun game

199
00:06:38,673 --> 00:06:42,341
about how expensive and
scary it is to have a baby.

200
00:06:43,344 --> 00:06:44,827
What if he never comes back?

201
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:46,530
He will. He's gonna come back.

202
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,297
He will!

203
00:06:48,299 --> 00:06:49,265
And you know what?

204
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:50,750
If he doesn't,

205
00:06:50,752 --> 00:06:52,018
That wouldn't be the worst thing...

206
00:06:52,021 --> 00:06:54,021
Going right back at it, huh?

207
00:06:54,023 --> 00:06:55,455
Okay.

208
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,973
You know what? Um... I'll go look for him.

209
00:06:57,976 --> 00:06:59,643
Could tag along with me if you want.

210
00:06:59,644 --> 00:07:02,022
That turd walked out with
a Cloud 9 scanner gun.

211
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,329
That makes it my jurisdiction.

212
00:07:03,565 --> 00:07:04,981
He is not a turd.

213
00:07:04,983 --> 00:07:06,400
Oh, he's a turd.

214
00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:07,983
Also, my truck has a rather unique odor,

215
00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:10,152
but you should get used to
it after a couple of hours.

216
00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:12,205
Oh... No, thank you.

217
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:14,890
We should probably just split up, you know,

218
00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:16,225
cover more ground.

219
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,195
Up to you. Oh...

220
00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:19,713
Almost forgot my taser.

221
00:07:19,715 --> 00:07:21,214
[electricity
sparks] -Oh - Oh!

222
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,600
Okay. I'm coming with you!

223
00:07:23,602 --> 00:07:25,369
- Take care of her.
- [whines]

224
00:07:25,371 --> 00:07:27,571
Uh, hey, hey. Now, now.

225
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,522
Now, now. There, little lady.

226
00:07:29,524 --> 00:07:32,224
You're gonna... you're
gonna do just fine, kiddo.

227
00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:36,954
[crying]

228
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,623
Girl.

229
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,625
I learned that from Wendy Williams.

230
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,816
If you're hungry, that can
of beans is up for grabs,

231
00:07:49,818 --> 00:07:51,468
But not this one.

232
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,470
I'm good.

233
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:56,123
Do you mind if I turn on
the... where's your radio?

234
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,025
Oh, I special ordered my truck without one.

235
00:07:58,027 --> 00:07:59,543
Yeah, it costs a little extra,

236
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:01,495
but it makes the vehicle
less appealing to thieves

237
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:03,947
'cause no one wants a
truck without a radio.

238
00:08:03,949 --> 00:08:06,433
Name a song, though. I'll sing it for you.

239
00:08:06,435 --> 00:08:07,851
- That's okay.
- No, no, go ahead.

240
00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:09,803
I got a photographic memory for music.

241
00:08:09,805 --> 00:08:11,655
Okay, um...

242
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,040
"Single Ladies."

243
00:08:13,042 --> 00:08:14,224
Not familiar with that one.

244
00:08:14,226 --> 00:08:15,976
- "Uptown Funk."
- Don't know it.

245
00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:17,411
- "Dancing Queen."
- Nope.

246
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,596
"Thriller?"

247
00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,365
Michael Jackson?

248
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,616
You can't name a song by some guy

249
00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:23,817
you went to middle school with.

250
00:08:23,819 --> 00:08:25,819
It has to be popular.

251
00:08:29,358 --> 00:08:32,342
♪ Oh Danny boy ♪

252
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:36,596
♪ The pipes the pipes are calling ♪

253
00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:39,549
[indistinct chatter]

254
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,152
I can't be a single mom.

255
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,755
I have never even driven
on the highway before.

256
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,606
What if the baby needs to go downtown?

257
00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:49,359
Okay, again, Bo is coming back, all right?

258
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,161
And when he does, you're
gonna have a cart full

259
00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:54,264
of hella radical wedding stuff to show him.

260
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:55,615
Yeah, like these little ass pillows

261
00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:57,968
to put the rings on
'cause they're important.

262
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,486
Bo once threw up on a pillow

263
00:08:59,488 --> 00:09:01,655
at my Grandma's retirement party.

264
00:09:01,657 --> 00:09:03,190
[chuckles]

265
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:06,143
Everything I see reminds
me of how amazing he was.

266
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,812
Okay. Surprising triggers.

267
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,714
We'll pick for you. What do you think?

268
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,265
Pfft...

269
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:13,500
This one. Done.

270
00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:14,684
Moving on.

271
00:09:14,686 --> 00:09:15,936
- Ooh.
- What? What's up?

272
00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:17,487
It's a little burlapy.

273
00:09:17,489 --> 00:09:18,789
She's getting married, not shipping coffee.

274
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,257
Ah.

275
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,558
Why don't we just go with this one?

276
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,126
Well, you know what? Your call.

277
00:09:23,128 --> 00:09:26,163
Do you want to go warm and
rustic like this burlap one

278
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,899
Or generic, kind of unoriginal?

279
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,269
I guess warm and rustic.

280
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:33,854
Warm and rustic! All right.

281
00:09:33,856 --> 00:09:35,806
- We got ourself a pillow.
- Okay.

282
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:38,225
Next up on the wedding
train, "Guest Books".

283
00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:39,226
Okay.

284
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:42,179
[upbeat market music playing]

285
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:49,619
♪ ♪

286
00:09:49,621 --> 00:09:52,939
I feel terrible about how
I handled things earlier

287
00:09:52,941 --> 00:09:54,357
with your friends.

288
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:56,710
Friends? Oh, they're not... no.

289
00:09:56,712 --> 00:09:58,445
- They're not my friends, dude.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

290
00:09:58,447 --> 00:10:01,248
Gay BFFs?

291
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:02,883
I don't know the lingo.

292
00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:05,402
Look, I just want everyone
who comes into this store

293
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:07,087
to feel accepted.

294
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:09,222
But do you know that in this entire sale,

295
00:10:09,224 --> 00:10:12,309
there is not one section
dedicated to gay weddings?

296
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:14,277
Gay people use the same
decorations as straight people.

297
00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:15,495
We just use 'em better.

298
00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:17,464
That's my point exactly.

299
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:19,316
I mean, they should not have to conform

300
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:24,971
to someone's... Hel... hetero normal ideal

301
00:10:24,973 --> 00:10:27,190
of what a wedding should be.

302
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:31,111
Would you be willing to help
me put something together?

303
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,496
Of course.

304
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,997
Great.

305
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:36,933
We're gonna take those
guy's minds and blow them.

306
00:10:36,935 --> 00:10:38,368
[laughs awkwardly]

307
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:42,339
I don't know if just randomly
driving around is a good idea.

308
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,741
Where do teenagers go?

309
00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:45,892
Prom.

310
00:10:45,894 --> 00:10:47,527
Is there a prom around?

311
00:10:47,529 --> 00:10:50,497
No, I just meant that we
should think like a teenager.

312
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:51,798
Ah, yeah.

313
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,551
Hey, Mom, get out of my room.

314
00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:57,187
You don't understand my generation.

315
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:59,573
Pimples.

316
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:01,758
It's not helping.

317
00:11:02,469 --> 00:11:03,668
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait!

318
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:05,053
Is that him?

319
00:11:05,054 --> 00:11:06,387
Hey! Hey!

320
00:11:06,389 --> 00:11:07,905
Stop! It's him, it's him.

321
00:11:07,907 --> 00:11:08,956
Speed up. Go, go, go.

322
00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:10,407
Bo!

323
00:11:10,409 --> 00:11:11,876
Hey, Bo!

324
00:11:11,878 --> 00:11:14,828
We just want to talk! Stop!

325
00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:16,247
That's one of our carts.

326
00:11:16,249 --> 00:11:17,498
That's one of our carts.

327
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,836
What? Who cares? Bo!

328
00:11:18,836 --> 00:11:20,070
- [tires screeching]
- [car honking]

329
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:21,262
What are you doing?

330
00:11:21,795 --> 00:11:23,211
[Chamillionaire's "Ridin"]

331
00:11:23,212 --> 00:11:24,711
Who cares?

332
00:11:24,713 --> 00:11:26,296
I care.

333
00:11:26,298 --> 00:11:27,764
Hey.

334
00:11:27,766 --> 00:11:29,349
That is Cloud 9 store property!

335
00:11:29,352 --> 00:11:30,351
No, it's not.

336
00:11:30,353 --> 00:11:33,938
Dina! He's getting away!

337
00:11:33,939 --> 00:11:35,772
Bo!

338
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,475
No, no, no. Absolutely not.

339
00:11:37,477 --> 00:11:39,060
- Give it to me.
- Hey it's not your cart!

340
00:11:39,061 --> 00:11:40,310
♪ ♪

341
00:11:49,131 --> 00:11:49,996
You know, on second thought,

342
00:11:49,996 --> 00:11:51,336
I don't think that is one of our carts.

343
00:11:52,881 --> 00:11:54,548
So what are we thinking for lunch?

344
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:56,066
Sandwiches? Burritos?

345
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:57,501
Indian? Tapas?

346
00:11:57,503 --> 00:11:58,702
What is up with you?

347
00:11:58,704 --> 00:12:00,270
Do you even want to find Bo?

348
00:12:00,272 --> 00:12:01,672
Yes, of course I do.

349
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,098
Just... Maybe not right away.

350
00:12:07,446 --> 00:12:10,480
I'm really not anxious to get
back to the wedding day sale,

351
00:12:10,482 --> 00:12:11,882
Okay?

352
00:12:11,884 --> 00:12:13,550
Just seeing all those women celebrating,

353
00:12:13,552 --> 00:12:15,452
Having found someone,

354
00:12:15,454 --> 00:12:16,920
and I'm not getting any younger.

355
00:12:16,922 --> 00:12:19,656
- Kind of a bummer.
- Well, it can be hard to date.

356
00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:21,274
If you'd seen some of the guys I dated.

357
00:12:21,276 --> 00:12:22,959
[whistles]

358
00:12:22,961 --> 00:12:25,195
Gay. Racist.

359
00:12:25,197 --> 00:12:27,531
Mean. Redhead.

360
00:12:27,533 --> 00:12:28,778
That was all one guy.

361
00:12:29,018 --> 00:12:31,668
Oh, I've dated some losers.

362
00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:33,070
I dated this one guy

363
00:12:33,073 --> 00:12:35,373
Who would only speak
in Monty Python quotes.

364
00:12:35,374 --> 00:12:36,990
The last guy I dated only hung out with me

365
00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:38,642
to play chess with my dad,

366
00:12:38,644 --> 00:12:41,228
and the guy before that was
just using me for my freezer.

367
00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:42,946
I dated three guys

368
00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:46,467
who were dating me just to
get close to my friend, Rene,

369
00:12:46,468 --> 00:12:49,486
and Rene wasn't even that hot.

370
00:12:49,488 --> 00:12:52,472
Whatever. This is not about Rene.

371
00:12:54,827 --> 00:12:56,960
Well, Rene sounds like a sack of crap.

372
00:12:56,962 --> 00:12:59,312
She was. Thank you.

373
00:12:59,314 --> 00:13:00,564
I just call it like I see it.

374
00:13:00,566 --> 00:13:03,350
Yes.

375
00:13:03,352 --> 00:13:06,002
There is... A guy at work

376
00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:09,222
That things have been
getting pretty intense with.

377
00:13:09,224 --> 00:13:11,074
Really? Who?

378
00:13:11,076 --> 00:13:12,659
Well, I don't want to
talk about my personal life

379
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,795
with coworkers, but I will say

380
00:13:14,798 --> 00:13:18,616
that there has been some very
heavy flirtation happening.

381
00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:20,333
I've been changing my
shirt multiple times a day

382
00:13:20,335 --> 00:13:22,386
just 'cause of all the pit stains.

383
00:13:22,388 --> 00:13:23,904
Steamy stuff.

384
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:26,940
How's this?

385
00:13:26,942 --> 00:13:28,158
It's nice.

386
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,710
But is it gay enough?

387
00:13:29,712 --> 00:13:31,378
I don't want to be kicking myself later

388
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:33,363
that we should have gone more gay.

389
00:13:33,365 --> 00:13:34,881
Let's err on the side of gay.

390
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:36,616
It feels appropriately gay.

391
00:13:36,618 --> 00:13:37,567
Good.

392
00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:39,503
You know, I have to say,

393
00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:41,938
You're much more
open-minded than I thought.

394
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,590
Thank you.

395
00:13:43,593 --> 00:13:46,994
People assume all
Christians are homophobes.

396
00:13:46,995 --> 00:13:48,795
You know, that is ignorant.

397
00:13:48,797 --> 00:13:53,100
You can't imagine how hard
it is being stereotyped.

398
00:13:53,102 --> 00:13:54,951
- Sure.
- I mean, if anything,

399
00:13:54,953 --> 00:13:58,438
Jesus went out of his
way to accept everyone.

400
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,606
- Agreed.
- Yeah.

401
00:13:59,608 --> 00:14:01,341
I think Jesus would've been pro
gay marriage.

402
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:02,325
Absolutely.

403
00:14:02,327 --> 00:14:04,377
He would've been pro-gay adoption.

404
00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:07,347
For all we know, Jesus himself was gay.

405
00:14:10,203 --> 00:14:11,769
So it's Tuesday, right?

406
00:14:11,771 --> 00:14:14,322
That means... that means
Wednesday's coming.

407
00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,890
Mm. Shake?

408
00:14:16,892 --> 00:14:18,792
No, thanks. Vegan.

409
00:14:18,794 --> 00:14:21,428
- Huh.
- Yeah.

410
00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:23,029
You know, we can keep looking for Bo,

411
00:14:23,031 --> 00:14:25,165
but the guy can't bike forever,

412
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:27,284
especially not with those quads.

413
00:14:27,286 --> 00:14:28,618
What don't you like him?

414
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,554
Is it the mustache?

415
00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:32,355
No.

416
00:14:32,357 --> 00:14:34,975
I got married at 19.

417
00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:37,360
I know what they're in for.

418
00:14:37,362 --> 00:14:39,946
I mean, you miss out on a lot of stuff.

419
00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:42,315
I mean, you get stuff too, obviously,

420
00:14:42,317 --> 00:14:44,835
but the money's always tight,

421
00:14:44,837 --> 00:14:47,053
and you're five steps
ahead of where you should be

422
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:50,574
but also five steps behind
where you should've been.

423
00:14:50,576 --> 00:14:52,425
But the mustache is bad, right?

424
00:14:52,427 --> 00:14:54,861
Strawberry blondes should not
be allowed to grow facial hair.

425
00:14:54,863 --> 00:14:56,096
No.

426
00:14:56,098 --> 00:14:57,430
That should be in our constitution.

427
00:14:57,432 --> 00:14:58,932
Yeah.

428
00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:02,469
Well, we should probably go back.

429
00:15:02,471 --> 00:15:05,405
God, I hope the brides have cleared out.

430
00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:07,274
You know, no one's really gonna notice

431
00:15:07,276 --> 00:15:09,576
if we're gone another hour or two.

432
00:15:09,578 --> 00:15:11,378
Well, what would we do?

433
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:12,562
Um...

434
00:15:12,564 --> 00:15:15,582
Oh, we could pamper ourselves.

435
00:15:17,302 --> 00:15:18,518
Oh, yeah.

436
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,986
[gunfire] The place is way fancier

437
00:15:19,988 --> 00:15:21,872
than my usual spot.

438
00:15:21,874 --> 00:15:24,474
Moist towelettes to wipe up the gunpowder.

439
00:15:24,476 --> 00:15:27,561
Man, I feel like a princess.

440
00:15:27,563 --> 00:15:28,829
I think I saw a turquoise one.

441
00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:30,347
Boom, cake stand.

442
00:15:30,349 --> 00:15:32,299
Silver-plated, lace bows.

443
00:15:32,301 --> 00:15:34,201
This is all kinds of elegant.

444
00:15:34,203 --> 00:15:36,286
If someone came up to you with
a wheelbarrow full of elegance,

445
00:15:36,288 --> 00:15:37,787
you'd have to be like, "Sorry, Homie".

446
00:15:37,789 --> 00:15:39,122
"We ass-deep in elegance."

447
00:15:39,124 --> 00:15:40,390
That's really pretty.

448
00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:41,641
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, no.

449
00:15:41,643 --> 00:15:43,109
That would be... really,

450
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:45,011
it'd be perfect for a
traditional wedding cake.

451
00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:45,962
- Yeah.
- But we were talking more of,

452
00:15:45,964 --> 00:15:48,532
like, a dessert pot luck kind of a thing.

453
00:15:48,534 --> 00:15:50,767
For a wedding? That seems
a little adventurous.

454
00:15:50,770 --> 00:15:54,038
Jonah says a lot of weddings
are doing more DIY elements.

455
00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:55,722
We're just looking for
something a little more

456
00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:56,824
specifically curated to
Cheyenne and Bo's...

457
00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,074
Ugh, that word.

458
00:15:58,076 --> 00:15:59,326
You said I could say
"curated" once a week.

459
00:15:59,328 --> 00:16:00,677
I chose now as my time.

460
00:16:00,679 --> 00:16:02,946
Honestly, as long as Bo
is there, I don't even...

461
00:16:02,948 --> 00:16:04,147
Yeah, no, no, no.
Totally, totally, totally.

462
00:16:04,149 --> 00:16:05,999
I'm just saying, I don't think a wedding

463
00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:08,251
needs to be stuck in
stodgy, old traditions.

464
00:16:08,253 --> 00:16:10,704
Right, better to have
the wedding in a treehouse,

465
00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:12,857
drinking artisanal cocktails out of a tuba.

466
00:16:12,858 --> 00:16:15,492
A DIY element does add a
certain personal touch to it.

467
00:16:15,494 --> 00:16:17,043
It's a trend, like dancing down the aisle.

468
00:16:17,045 --> 00:16:18,345
You know, it's like, "I'm eating flan."

469
00:16:18,347 --> 00:16:19,729
"I'm eating a baklava."

470
00:16:19,731 --> 00:16:20,981
Why couldn't we just
have a nice, classy cake

471
00:16:20,983 --> 00:16:22,215
like civilized human beings?

472
00:16:22,217 --> 00:16:23,667
Give my taste buds a passport

473
00:16:23,669 --> 00:16:25,569
because they're going around the world.

474
00:16:25,571 --> 00:16:26,770
Let's go over some basics.

475
00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:28,439
[gunfire] You're gonna take your mag.

476
00:16:28,539 --> 00:16:31,557
The flat part is actually gonna
go towards the back of the gun.

477
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,014
My favorite uncle was a cop.

478
00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:41,917
He got me a .22 for my Quinceañera.

479
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,335
Here, I thought you were just

480
00:16:43,337 --> 00:16:45,103
the second-hottest girl at work.

481
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,238
[chuckles]

482
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,290
[gun shots]

483
00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:53,178
Hey, you should come with me
to celebrity night sometime.

484
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,063
They put pictures on the targets.

485
00:16:55,065 --> 00:16:56,648
I don't want to brag, but last week,

486
00:16:56,651 --> 00:16:58,401
Kristen Stewart was my bitch.

487
00:16:58,402 --> 00:16:59,685
Oh, my god.

488
00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:01,520
Yeah, it's really satisfying.

489
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,188
I think tomorrow they're doing
the whole cast of "Scandal."

490
00:17:05,597 --> 00:17:07,431
So, you just gonna walk out on your fiancé?

491
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:09,253
You think that's "Where it's at?"

492
00:17:09,285 --> 00:17:10,701
Kinda. Okay.

493
00:17:10,703 --> 00:17:12,336
Like, everyone cool I know has done that.

494
00:17:12,338 --> 00:17:15,005
Most rappers. Literally every athlete.

495
00:17:15,007 --> 00:17:16,040
You know what?

496
00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:17,625
Cheyenne is better off without you.

497
00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:20,211
What's this?

498
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,462
"Bo Derek Thompson.

499
00:17:21,464 --> 00:17:23,514
"Suma Cum Laude, Harvard medical school.

500
00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:25,883
Chief of Cardiology, Johns Hopkins."

501
00:17:25,885 --> 00:17:27,384
Yo, some of that's left over

502
00:17:27,386 --> 00:17:28,969
from the computer template or whatever.

503
00:17:28,971 --> 00:17:30,855
Wait, this is what you were doing all day?

504
00:17:30,857 --> 00:17:32,723
You were handing out resumes?

505
00:17:32,725 --> 00:17:34,558
And your name is Bo Derek?

506
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,894
Yeah, it's like you said.
Parenting's expensive.

507
00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,363
Got to make some paper for
that baby coming, be a man.

508
00:17:39,365 --> 00:17:43,067
"Managing editor of vogue, 1972-1981."

509
00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:45,202
I'm impressed, actually.

510
00:17:45,204 --> 00:17:46,787
Oh no, Amy. This is all lies.

511
00:17:49,411 --> 00:17:51,361
Oh, what a surprise.

512
00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,413
You picked a white dress. What a curveball.

513
00:17:53,415 --> 00:17:54,915
'Cause that's exactly
what a wedding should be,

514
00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:56,450
A series of curveballs.

515
00:17:56,452 --> 00:17:58,251
You guys, it's really sweet that you care,

516
00:17:58,253 --> 00:18:00,120
but both dresses are fugly.

517
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,621
I just think that your tastes are

518
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,790
a little more along the
lines of my grandmother's.

519
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,625
Okay, well, I just think that

520
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:07,461
your tastes are a little
more along the lines

521
00:18:07,463 --> 00:18:08,762
of a Wiccan space queen.

522
00:18:08,764 --> 00:18:09,846
What?

523
00:18:09,848 --> 00:18:10,964
What's your dream wedding, anyway?

524
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,265
A bunch of people sweating in a field

525
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,800
while some jag reads from
"The Velveteen Rabbit?"

526
00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,102
What's your dream wedding?

527
00:18:15,104 --> 00:18:19,056
A beige Toyota Camry driven
by a white guy named Matthew?

528
00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:20,640
- What is that supposed to mean?
- You know!

529
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,809
What do you say?
You want to look like my Aunt Linda?

530
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:25,445
You cannot get married in a green bean.

531
00:18:25,447 --> 00:18:27,064
Right this way.

532
00:18:27,066 --> 00:18:30,067
[wedding processional music playing]

533
00:18:30,069 --> 00:18:33,136
♪ ♪

534
00:18:33,138 --> 00:18:36,823
Welcome. We are happy you're here.

535
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,125
You guys made this?

536
00:18:38,127 --> 00:18:39,326
It's really nice.

537
00:18:39,328 --> 00:18:41,211
You think this is nice?

538
00:18:41,213 --> 00:18:42,496
You better buckle in

539
00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:44,998
'cause the party is just getting started.

540
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,417
It is? We didn't discuss... okay.

541
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:50,253
[techno music playing] oh.

542
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,005
Pose yourself. There's nothing like it.

543
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:53,473
Vogue!

544
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:54,925
- Wow.
- Vogue.

545
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,810
Glenn, this isn't what we agreed on!

546
00:18:56,812 --> 00:18:58,428
I made a few tweaks.

547
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:01,181
I turned my safe search up to the max

548
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,683
and then Googled, "world's gayest parties."

549
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,018
Wow.

550
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:06,853
Listen. He's trying.

551
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,656
He's your dad, two years ago.

552
00:19:09,658 --> 00:19:11,825
Oh, okay.

553
00:19:11,827 --> 00:19:12,909
Yeah.

554
00:19:12,911 --> 00:19:13,994
This was great.

555
00:19:13,996 --> 00:19:16,113
Thank you so much.

556
00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:17,364
- You're welcome.
- Oh, another one.

557
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,916
Wow.
[laughs]

558
00:19:19,918 --> 00:19:21,034
- Get those hands up.
- All right.

559
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,253
- Get those hands up.
- All right.

560
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,707
Whoa.

561
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,176
You look like a princess.

562
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:30,961
You like it?

563
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:33,463
It's from the Farrah Abraham collection.

564
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:34,881
Who's Farrah Abraham?

565
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,550
Teen mom, porn star.

566
00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:38,018
You'd recognize her.

567
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,887
Don't run away again.

568
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,222
I won't.

569
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,690
Now we got a bunch to figure out.

570
00:19:43,692 --> 00:19:45,025
But no matter what, you and me

571
00:19:45,027 --> 00:19:46,693
are gonna throw a baller-ass wedding,

572
00:19:46,695 --> 00:19:48,361
raise up a baller-ass shorty,

573
00:19:48,363 --> 00:19:51,531
and have a baller-ass life.

574
00:19:51,533 --> 00:19:53,700
I think you just wrote our vows.

575
00:19:53,702 --> 00:19:56,069
[poignant music]

576
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,704
I give them six months.

577
00:19:57,706 --> 00:19:58,905
I don't know.

578
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:00,574
Maybe they'll surprise us.

579
00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:02,826
Now, let's bleed some green! Yeah.

580
00:20:02,828 --> 00:20:05,245
Come and get a... take a
little shower in this stuff!

581
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,663
Or not.

582
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:09,216
Let 'em start out with a fun party.

583
00:20:09,218 --> 00:20:10,834
Yeah.

584
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:12,552
Hey, by the way,

585
00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:15,555
What we were talking about
earlier, if you tell anyone,

586
00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:16,840
I will staple your...

587
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:20,427
It'll stay between friends.

588
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,129
- Thanks.
- [chuckles]

589
00:20:22,131 --> 00:20:23,380
Ear to the wall.

590
00:20:23,382 --> 00:20:26,049
You interrupted, but
that's what I'll staple.

591
00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:27,601
Just know that.

592
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,390
Hey.

593
00:20:38,981 --> 00:20:40,780
[laughs]

594
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,115
Hey, Jonah.

595
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,569
[laughs]

596
00:20:45,571 --> 00:20:48,071
God, you are so funny.

597
00:20:48,073 --> 00:20:49,573
[laughs]

598
00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:51,158
Oh, shoot.

599
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:59,283
- synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -