- Okay, those of you who were working
the day that Carol was electrocuted by the robot,
you're gonna be deposed by Carol's lawyer today.
- Now, Cloud 9's lawyer will also be present.
He advises we answer every question honestly
but try and downplay their liability.
So, feel free to get creative walking that perjury line.
- How much is Cloud 9 gonna have to pay Carol?
- Oh, I heard about a guy who got his butt sliced off
when a shelf fell.
Voop! 10 million.
- What? - No, no--
[all murmuring] - Dang, that's a nice payday.
- I'm sorry--a guy got his butt sliced off,
and we didn't hear about it in the news?
- Wait, so Carol could get $10 million?
- [laughing] Okay. That makes sense.
T-the world makes sense.
- She'll be able to do that thing where you buy a car
and you just drive it once.
Like, when you get to where you're going,
you just toss the keys to whoever and leave.
- No, she's the kinda person
who'd blow it all on exotic animals,
then die broke in the bathroom of a Red Robin.
- Carol, you can probably just go start your shift now.
- No, I'm good.
Is this what today's gonna be like,
everyone talking about me?
God, I'm gonna hate this!
[upbeat music]
♪
- You're looking at a boot?
You're not a boot guy. - [huffs] I know.
Everyone knows that.
But I'm just seeing what's out there, because...
someone's getting their ankle monitor off today!
- Oh, my God, Mateo, that's huge!
- I know, right? Girl, it has sucked!
Feeling like a criminal every time I tied my shoes...
- Ooh! Why not get yourself some capri pants, too,
so you can show off your ankle?
- I'd rather go back to jail.
- Excuse me.
Can you help me find Carol Malloon?
I'm her attorney, Hannah Connelly?
- Well, hear this.
Carol's gonna do everything she can to pin this on me,
but if she wants to make this ugly,
I will drag it all the way to hell!
- I think she's in floral.
On your left, just ahead towards the register.
- Okay. Thank you.
Mateo, softly: Okay.
- Oh, hey, Glenn.
You're, uh, dripping something green there, buddy.
- Ah! This is the third stress ball
I blasted through today.
- Wow. Maybe today should be more of a Koosh day for you.
- It's just these depositions.
You know, lawyers make me anxious.
- It's nothing to worry about. You know, maybe it would help
if we practiced a little bit.
- Oh, yeah, good idea. Okay.
So you be me, and I'll be the lawyer.
- Uh, maybe you should be you.
- 'Cause I'll be me in the deposition.
Okay. Good catch.
- Hey, Dina, did ya see? Lazer Maze finally reopened.
- Yeah! Took 'em long enough.
What, one black light falls on a kid,
and you have to close for a year?
- Well, COVID...
- Oh, right. Well, listen. We should go later tonight.
- Yeah. And there's that Mediterranean place next door.
We could fuel up first.
I mean, if that's...cool.
- Why wouldn't it be?
Because of my views on the Greeks?
- What? No. I'm just trying to be good
about the boundaries that you and Brian set up.
- Oh, no, it's not like a date.
As long as whatever we're doing ends in sex,
it's like the laser tag is just extended foreplay.
- Right. Foreplay surrounded by teenagers
and cardboard aliens.
I been turned on by worse. - Me, too.
- Okay, state your name for the record.
- Glenn Sturgis.
Why are you writing that down? That's the right answer.
- No, no, this is what lawyers do--they might take notes.
But you can't let that distract you.
- Oh, mind games!
Oh, okay, well,
sure, yeah--game on.
Check and mate. Ohh...
- Sure. Also, they might let a quiet moment hang
after you've answered a question.
Silences are uncomfortable,
and so people will try to fill them
and then end up saying more.
- Oh, okay. Got it. No problem.
Ha. What is this?
Are you doing it now?
Are you mad at me? Did you find out
that I accidentally hit your car in the parking lot?
Because it was just a scratch!
You think you're so perfect, you know?
Well, I used to have a body like that once.
[huffs] So, you know, so check out your future,
you fart face!
- Okay. So, some things to work on.
[knocks twice] - Hey, Mateo, it's Eugene.
This is what I look like in a mask.
- Yeah, I can tell it's you. Hi.
- I got a subpoena.
I guess 'cause the lawyers think I'm Glenn's assistant
and wanna depose me?
- Oh, crap. Right.
- Don't worry. I'm just gonna go in there
and explain our situation-- how, on paper, you know,
you still work in the Vision Center
and I'm "Glenn's assistant."
- What? No. Eugene, you can't.
Our arrangement isn't exactly...above board.
Just...pretend you're Glenn's assistant.
- But if I lie under oath, they'll send me to jail.
- If you tell them the truth, it's gonna ruin my whole life.
Please?
I'm supposed to get my ankle monitor off today.
I might even be a boot guy now.
- You're not a boot guy. - People change!
Whatever. You can't go in there.
- Well, I kinda have to 'cause of the subpoena,
but I'll them that you really don't wanna be in trouble.
- Hey.
You gotta do what you believe is right.
- Right. - Why don't you stay here,
and I'll go see if they're ready for you.
- Okay.
Eugene? Did you lock me out?
- No! I didn't even touch the door!
- Oh, no!
The door must be stuck!
- Hey, Dina, Brett wants to go home
because of his sciatica? Is that a real thing,
or is it like when Isaac needed Friday off
for an appointment with his Mandalorian?
- Hang on. What do you think's going on
between Garrett and that woman?
- Uh ...don't know. Looks like he's helping
some girl with a dead tree.
- Yeah, but it seemed like she was laughing.
If anything, he should be laughing at her
for that ridiculous return.
- Oh, my God. Are you jealous?
- What? No, I'm dating Brian.
- I don't know. You and Garrett
have been hanging out a lot lately, so...
kinda feels like you guys "like" like each other.
- No, we don't "like" like each other
because we're not 12-year-olds at archery camp.
We are adults in a complex relationship
where I am the hinge between a romantic primary
and a sexual secondary.
- I've never been a hinge before.
Well, one time, the exterminator walked in on us
and, like, kinda lingered, but I guess that doesn't count.
- No. That's just exterminators.
Jesus! What is this--
Ladies' Night at Customer Service?
- On the day of the incident,
Glenn Sturgis was floor supervisor.
- Yes, he was.
- To the best of your knowledge,
did Mr. Sturgis make any modifications to the robot?
- Uh, no, Glenn would never do anything like that.
Glenn's a bit of a technophobe, you know?
He keeps his radio dialed to the Christmas station
all year round 'cause he's worried
he's not gonna be able to find his way back.
- So it's your understanding
that he generally avoided the robot.
- Oh, absolutely.
- So that would include performing
the required maintenance and software updates.
- Uh ...m sorry?
- That's the responsibility of a floor supervisor.
- Oh, uh...huh.
I...[funny voice] I did not know that.
- A skipped or improperly performed update
could have resulted in the electrocution
of my client, so...
- Yeah, well, I-I mean, I'm sure Glenn
tried to do the updates.
[shaky inhale]
Thi--this is not like to--to, you know,
fill the silence... or whatever.
But just to say it, shouldn't there have been
like a technician or something involved?
I mean, I feel like it's unfair to expect somebody like Glenn--
- "Somebody like Glenn."
Is there a competence issue?
- No! No, no!
Glenn is--can be...
uh, competent, uh, in--in a lot of ways.
Could--do you wanna-- do you wanna jump in here?
- This lawsuit is against the Cloud 9 corporation.
But it sounds like you're saying
that Mr. Sturgis, as an individual,
is responsible for the injury.
- It's not your turn to ask questions.
- Thank you. - But I like that question.
So I'll ask it. - I--objection.
O-overruled. Yeah. Yeah.
- You know what? I can take care of this for you.
Why don't you just pick out
a different size? - Trying to get her into
something more form-fitting? Man, Customer Service
is just your own sick little candy store, isn't it?
- Uh...and bereavement cards are on aisle three.
I'm sorry about your sister.
What was that? Did you really think I was flirting with her?
- Well, it looked like there was less blood in your face.
It had to go somewhere. - I was being pleasant.
And even if I was flirting with her, who cares?
We're not dating, so I can flirt with
or date whoever I want.
- No, totally. I mean, if that's...
what you want, then knock yourself out.
Date a hundred women.
- And you wouldn't have a problem with that, right?
- No! No, I'd be fine.
You'd be the person with the problem,
because you're so bad with names.
Regardless, I'm fine, you're fine.
That lady can throw it around as much as she wants.
We're all fine!
[loudly] Anyway...
- Hey! I got you a little congratulations gift
for getting your ankle monitor off--
some fun socks!
- Okay, great. Just drop 'em on the ground and walk away.
Thanks so much. - Aw, man, fun socks?
Takes me a pic!
- Why is Eugene in your office?
- [loudly] Eugene got stuck!
Apparently, my door got jammed.
[softly] He was gonna blab to the lawyers
about our work arrangement.
- So you kidnapped him?
- No! You can't be kidnapped
if you don't know you're being kidnapped.
- Oh. Okay.
So what's your plan?
- I don't have one yet!
While you were out there buying socks,
I was busy dealing with this!
Love the socks, by the way. So thoughtful.
- Uh, hey, uh, quick heads up.
It's--it's looking like they're targeting Glenn
to take the fall for Carol's lawsuit.
- Ugh. - Yeah!
The lawyer, she's just like--
like anything you say, she's just gonna twist
to make it sound like Glenn's incompetent.
- What did you say that she twisted?
- Oh, me? Uh, well, f-for me, it was, uh,
I might've--I said something along the lines of Glenn...
uh, being incompetent.
- Mm. Don't see how that got twisted.
- Jonah, why would you say that?
Glenn can't afford to get sued.
He has a two-year-old,
and his health is, like, so bad.
- Yeah. Yeah, got it. Yeah, no.
Stomach cramps on full blast already.
Oh, hey, there's Carol, everybody.
- Hey, Carol, can you talk to your lawyer?
Jonah screwed up royally,
and now she's going after Glenn.
- Oh, no, I hate to hear that.
But gotta let the lawyers do their job, right?
Now, what should I name my boat?
I'm leaning toward "Wet Ride,"
but I'm open to other ideas.
- Look, all you guys have to do is go in there
and make Glenn sound like he's, you know,
good at his job... which, he is!
- And when the system went down,
Glenn put in everybody's hours for the previous week
from memory.
- Hmm. - And why did the system
go down? - Because somebody
spilled juice on the clock-in machine.
- Oh, was there a... child in the back area?
- No. It was an adult that was running away with juice
'cause they weren't supposed to be drinking it.
- And this adult was...
- Bad at running with juice.
- Would you say that Glenn Sturgis
is a competent manager?
- Is this off the record, or...
- This is all under oath. - Under--great.
Oh, boy. Okay...
Glenn is... what is Glenn?
Glenn i--you know, ha!
He is--it's--the thing...
the thing is, about him...
- Glenn and I, we're top dogs in this doghouse.
Why? Competence.
Jonah's...the most competent.
Then Dina, obviously.
Preeti is probably up there too.
Uh...
Oh, Mateo. Jeez. Okay.
- Glenn can... handle phone calls,
uh, keep things in binders...
Oh! He wears clothes. Uh...
honestly, when you add it up, he can do, like,
probably hundreds of things.
[percussive music]
♪
- Uh, I said ...rrett yet? Did I mention Garrett?
So there's gonna be Jonah, Dina, Garrett,
Preeti, me-- depending on the week...
- Glenn Sturgis is--
[sustained throat sound] Mm...
Could you repeat the question?
- He has a weird voice.
Like...[hoarsely, shrilly] "Okay, everybody..."
- So, Eugene, you're Glenn's assistant.
- Eugene O'Malley is Glenn's assistant, yes.
- Oh, well, you can just say "I."
- Eugene O'Malley just thinks a little differently.
- Have you met Alan?
Oh, my God, I forgot about Alan!
Okay, do you have a whiteboard?
- This isn't working. Carol's lawyer is relentless.
W-we can't let them pin it all on Glenn.
- Pin what on me?
Not something, I hope.
[quiet music]
.
- Why is this happening to me?
Why do people think that I'm at fault
for Carol's electrocution? - Uh, well, so, uh,
when I was trying to defend you,
uh, we were talking about the robot malfunction,
and I may have suggested that you were...
a little less than 100% competent.
- You said that?
- [softly] Yeah...
- You don't think I'm competent?
- No, Glenn, that's--
it came out wrong-- - No, no.
I'm--I'm happy to find out what you really think of me.
But I may have to take your picture out of my wallet.
- Glenn, come on. What picture is this again?
- One, two...
[thud] Ooh!
- Oh, no! I can't believe that didn't work.
- Looks like I'm really stuck, you guys.
I think I may have to reschedule my deposition.
- Oh, hey, I just spoke with Carol's lawyer,
and she said Eugene could do his deposition
through the door, if you wanted.
- What? - She gave me the questions
to ask and everything.
He could do his deposition now with us
and be done with it.
- Well, i-it's a little unorthodox,
but I'll allow it.
- Uh, so, the first question is...
Where were you born? - Where was I born?
- Yeah, I know.
It seems like it has nothing to do with Carol's lawsuit.
But that's the first question.
- Well, it's a pretty crazy story, uh...
I was born in a hospital in Jefferson City, Missouri.
White mom, white dad.
- Hey, Dina, a lot of people have questions
about this email you sent. - Really?
- "Due to recent complaints,
"employees at Customer Service are hereby off-limits
in regards to flirting and/or dating."
- Which concept are ya fuzzy on?
- Our question is why did you send it?
- Yeah. And did Garrett
like specifically say something about me?
'Cause we've been vibing for a while.
- No. This is just... standard procedure.
From corporate. About dating in the workplace.
I think they just wanna stay a step ahead since it's spring
and, you know, everybody's getting horned up.
- Hmm. Damn. I really thought we were vibing.
- Dina, this email's wack.
Come on, just admit it. You're jealous.
I mean, it makes sense.
Garrett's like a really nice guy and funny and cute.
- Well, he's off-limits, Cheyenne.
I just sent the email. - Okay.
- Sorry. It's just I-- I guess I have been
spending more time with Garrett and, I don't know, I...
I liked it, I...
I like him.
- Aw. Well, that's great.
Oh, but, yeah, probably confusing.
- Yeah. 'Cause there's still Brian,
who I also like, so...
- Mmm. In tenth grade, I was caught between Bo
and this guy Darius that he used to freestyle rap with.
- What did you do? - I told Bo how I felt,
and then...[laughs] he took a poo in the backseat
of Darius's mom's station wagon.
- Cheyenne, I had such high hopes,
and have truly no idea what to take from that story.
- I 'm just saying that you should tell Garrett
how you feel because maybe he feels the same way.
And if he's not willing
to take a crap in the backseat of Brian's car,
then--pfft-- there's no decision to make.
- And April was kinda fun
because the ducklings were having a tea party,
and, you know, just imagining them
trying to drink that tea with their beaks...
there's no way they got all of it.
- Excuse me. You can't be in here.
- Yeah. I am not leaving
until you hear me out.
- This is totally inappropriate.
- What's inappropriate, Hannah,
is you all trying to squeeze out a big payday
from this good, kind man.
- Jonah-- - No, Glenn, I got this.
Look at your ducklings.
Sir, could you point to the motherboard
on this robot for me?
- No, I can't. - No, you can't.
Hannah, can you update the sim card on the robot?
- No. - No?!
Huh! That's interesting.
Because you all have had the exact same amount of training
that Cloud 9 gives its floor supervisors--
- Jonah, I did it.
- S-sorry?
- Well, not at first,
but I watched hours of online videos
and eventually, I figured it out.
That's what I was just showing them.
I kept records of everything-- every update,
every new hardware install--
it's all right here in my calendar.
I did everything that corporate asked me to do.
So I don't know what happened with Carol,
but it is not on me.
Anyway, if there are no further questions,
I have been nervously holding my pee for six hours,
so I really need to get to a men's room.
Oh, and Jonah,
I don't think I'll be needing your help with that either.
- Glenn, you--
I-I'm not going to help--
It's--it's--
Good day.
[lightly edgy music]
- Jonah.
- Glenn, hey, look, I-- I'm sorry.
I should never have implied that you were incompetent.
You've been doing this for a long time, and...
and I should have respected that.
- Wow. Silence really works.
I just said "Jonah," and you completely unloaded.
- No, but Glenn, I-I mean it.
I-I should have known that of course
you followed all the protocols and maintenance.
- Mm. - I trust you.
- Aw.
Prove it.
- What?
- If you trust me, then you should have no problem
sticking your hand inside that robot.
- Uh, okay, yeah. Yeah!
I will do that,
because I trust that you made it safe.
- Mm-hmm. - Carol only got hurt
because she used a screwdriver, right?
So, uh, yeah, I will do that
and--and--and let you know how it goes.
- Right now's good.
Yeah. Yeah! Great.
Yeah.
Yeah. This feels good. This is--
this feels--aah, [bleep]! - Oh!
I am so-- - Aah!
- That should not have happened!
- [bleep]! - What is wrong with this--
Aah! God! Fudge!
- Hey, uh, maybe we should talk about some things.
- Oh, yeah, I'll start. Why did I hear
from multiple people that I used to date
that you emailed them and said that we couldn't talk anymore?
- Yeah, here's the thing. Um...
our situation has gotten a little complicated--
- Okay, well, I'll make it less complicated--I'm done.
- What? - Look,
I knew this thing was gonna be fun and weird,
but I was really hoping that fun would win.
Turns out, it's a blowout for weird.
- Fine with me.
I'm with Brian, so...
Uh, I'm still gonna go to laser tag tonight,
so if you go, maybe we should do different slots, whatever.
- Okay. They left the break room.
The Cloud 9 lawyer said it was "feeling like a wings night,"
so I think he's leaving.
- Eugene? Sandra and I are gonna try
one more thing, okay?
[both groaning, grunting] - I think we're getting close!
- Pull harder, Sandra!
- Okay!
[escalating groans]
- Ah! - Ah! Whoa!
Sandra: Did you... redecorate?
- Yep. I felt so bad keeping Mateo from his work.
I'm no gay guy, but I hope you like it.
- Thanks, Eugene.
- See ya.
- Wow!
Hey.
Don't feel guilty.
You're getting your ankle monitor off!
- [sighs] - And all Eugene knows
is that the door was stuck and he got to
redecorate an office. - Right. You're right.
[laughs] And I mean, he was barely kidnapped.
We didn't ask for a ransom or do anything to his nipples.
- I don't know--I think you're gonna need more than sanitizer.
- Big deposition fan, huh?
- I...sorry about all that.
- Naw, it was fun.
It was kind of like being in a haunted house.
I kept waiting for you to pop out from somewhere else.
[both laugh]
- Look, I was just trying to protect Glenn.
- From the big, mean lawyer trying to get her payday.
Look, I get it. I get it.
But you should know I'm not some
sleazy ambulance chaser with her face on every bus.
- I never-- - I mean, my face is on one bus
but I had to do it-- that's the industry.
I was just doing my job. - No, I know.
And I was just... embarrassing myself.
- Big time! - Yeah.
- [laughs] I-I thought it was kind of sweet, actually.
- Hannah!
Let's go get margs, girl! - Oh, yeah!
- You're buying!
- Oh, my God, she is the worst.
- [chuckles] - You didn't hear me say that.
- Oh, no, of course not.
Hey, uh, Hannah, um,
let me know if you have any other...
depositions I can crash.
- Oh, yeah.
I'll see what I can do, Mr. Simms.
[light music]