1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,242 . 2 00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:02,072 [upbeat rock music] 3 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,711 - I need to get ready for work! 4 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,836 Mike, I have a client! 5 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,080 - She runs, knowing I will pursue. 6 00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:11,177 - Come on! 7 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:14,279 Stop Pepé Le Pew-ing me. 8 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,222 - Your protests fall on deaf ears, 9 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:18,087 my little Georgia peach. 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,861 Oh, hey. 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,427 - Who's Pepé Le Pew? 12 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,626 - He's an amorous, French cartoon skunk. 13 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:28,728 - It was so funny. 14 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,529 Every episode a female cat 15 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,431 would get a white stripe down its back 16 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,343 and Pepé would think it was a girl skunk, 17 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,535 and he'd chase her and hold her down 18 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,637 and kiss her. 19 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:41,578 - Sounds like a date rapist. 20 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,735 - It wasn't really a date. 21 00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,284 - So he's just a regular rapist. 22 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,250 - You girls and your whole generation 23 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,279 are so politically correct. 24 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,694 In my day, a cartoon skunk would rape a cat, 25 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,786 and you'd just laugh your head off. 26 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,360 - In your day, cartoons were racist. 27 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,130 Those crows in "Dumbo," that Mexican mouse Speedy Gonzales. 28 00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,601 - What's wrong with Speedy Gonzales? 29 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,138 He was faster than everybody else. 30 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:09,335 You know, they have an extra muscle in their legs. 31 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,667 both: Grandpa! - Bob! 32 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,411 - I'm talking about the mice, not the Mexicans. 33 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,479 I'd hate to see what cartoons are gonna be like in ten years. 34 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:21,349 - I'd hate to see what you'll be like in ten years. 35 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,579 - Don't worry, I'll be good and dead. 36 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,824 - It's important to have goals, Dad. 37 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,320 - Bob, these days people are living a lot longer. 38 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,633 - Yeah, but at what quality of life? 39 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:32,985 As soon as I start declining 40 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,733 I want someone to shoot me in the head. 41 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:36,859 - Not me. 42 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:40,174 I want to be kept alive by any means necessary. 43 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:42,768 As long as I can watch football and eat chocolate, 44 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,770 hook me up to every machine they've got. 45 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,084 - Mike, when the time comes to shoot me in the head, 46 00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:51,776 I'd like you to do it. 47 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,619 - This is a different kind of father-son moment. 48 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,516 - I knew you wouldn't do it. 49 00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:00,288 - I didn't say that. 50 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:04,188 - Well, in ten years I want to be doing a lot of traveling. 51 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,732 Wouldn't you love to go to Paris? 52 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,927 - And get raped by a skunk? 53 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,100 - As fun as all this rape and death talk is, 54 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,269 I'd like to introduce a new topic. 55 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,698 I've applied for an internship 56 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,113 at the University of Washington's astrophysics lab. 57 00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,005 - That's great, Shea! - Wow, good luck, sweetie. 58 00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:22,037 - But in the meantime, to contribute rent money, 59 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:25,012 I've taken an entry-level job at Already Ready Burger. 60 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,612 - Hey, isn't that the place where the burgers are-- 61 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,654 - Already ready. Yes. 62 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:33,489 Their slogan is, "It was fresh when we made it." 63 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,057 - Well, I've also found a way to make money for rent. 64 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,086 You know that show I do on the Internet? 65 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,231 I've figured out a way to monetize my online persona. 66 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,229 That means money-ize it. 67 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,831 I know. I thought it was a typo too. 68 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:48,998 - Something weird is happening. 69 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,302 I feel good, 70 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:54,114 and I have a satisfied sense of attachment to my daughters. 71 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,477 - Is it pride? 72 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,506 - My God. I think it could be. 73 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,251 * 74 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,517 - Okay, guys, it's me, Stella. 75 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,375 We've got a great show today, 76 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,154 and don't worry, I will be reading more 77 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,962 from my Taylor Swift-Katy Perry fan fiction. 78 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,755 #Drama. 79 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,457 [cash register bell dings] 80 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,689 Oh, our new money-izing feature. 81 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,634 That sound means that somebody just bought 82 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,399 a private, one-on-one chat. 83 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,798 Back in 15, guys. 84 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,300 Hi, T-Dawg25. 85 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,513 Thank you for your contribution. 86 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:28,105 So tell me what you're into. 87 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:31,108 [upbeat rock music] 88 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:42,463 . 89 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:46,989 - Okay, what if you don't have arms or legs? 90 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:53,730 - Chocolate. Football. 91 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,444 This is all I need. 92 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,837 - But then I'll be married to an armless, legless woman. 93 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,309 People will talk. 94 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:04,039 Ethan, you'd shoot me if I asked you to, right? 95 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:08,354 - I'd try, but you know, the yips. 96 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,579 - That's okay, son. 97 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,693 Just knowing that you're willing is enough for me. 98 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:12,745 - Oh, my God! 99 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,163 What smells like rancid hamburger? 100 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,125 - That would be me. 101 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,585 Hello, all. 102 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,333 I would like your strongest Chardonnay, 103 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,399 and keep them coming. 104 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,796 Up to two. 105 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:28,138 - Wait, does that badge say "Shift Supervisor"? 106 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,465 - It does. 107 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,910 I identified a few strategies to streamline burger assembly, 108 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,565 so they promoted me. 109 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,414 - See, Ethan? Look at Shea. 110 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,150 - I am looking at Shea. 111 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:42,976 Only because we all are. 112 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,093 - While she's waiting for the job she wants, 113 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,885 she's taking the job she needs. 114 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,487 - Alice, he's already got a job. 115 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:51,559 He's helping us in the bar until he gets back on the golf tour. 116 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,359 - If you're interested, as shift supervisor, 117 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:56,031 I can offer you a position on our french fry team. 118 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,529 - Wow, going from a professional golfer to a french fry cook. 119 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,973 That's a pretty steep drop-off. 120 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,869 On the plus side, I'd be making an income. 121 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,171 On the minus side, 122 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:09,282 those fries would be salted with my tears. 123 00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,976 - The company expects that. 124 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:15,248 Most of the employee orientation is about where it's okay to cry. 125 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,378 - Look, Ethan, you're gonna 126 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,594 get back on the golf tour in no time. 127 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,486 You don't have to take some lousy job at a fast-food joint. 128 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:24,119 No offense, Shea. 129 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,394 - It's hard to be offended 130 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,733 when you're dressed like Aladdin's monkey. 131 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,968 * 132 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,597 - Rent money, booyah! 133 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,874 - Booyah squared! 134 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:40,442 Actually, it's booyah plus booyah, 135 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,541 not booyah times itself, 136 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:45,252 but I thought the brevity added to the humor. 137 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,475 Which it almost did. 138 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,882 - Well, how much is that? 139 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,923 - $60. - Plus my $62. 140 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,960 Well, better not keep my audience waiting. 141 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,764 - And since I'm the only employee at Already Ready Burger 142 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,830 to show up for three consecutive shifts, 143 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:04,429 I've been promoted to assistant manager. 144 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,272 I spent my day putting out fires, 145 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,636 and when I wasn't doing that, 146 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:10,795 I was solving problems. 147 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,574 - Well, it's no surprise you're doing great. 148 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,613 You went to MIT after all. 149 00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,738 You must stand out. 150 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:19,054 - Actually, I'm not even the only PhD there. 151 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,346 Most of them live with their parents too. 152 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,849 We're all overqualified, 153 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:27,461 except Rudy the Already Ready Burger clown. 154 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,485 He's exactly where he should be. 155 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,100 - Get a load of that. Rent money. 156 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,855 - It's nice to know we're not the only parents 157 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,204 with overeducated, underemployed kids. 158 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,029 - We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars 159 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,544 on their college educations, 160 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,666 and now we have... 161 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:47,312 122 back. 162 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,905 * 163 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,212 Now, off to the right you'll see 164 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,753 Seattle's famous Space Needle. 165 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,278 It was constructed in 1961 166 00:06:57,284 --> 00:07:00,054 and opened to the public in 1962. 167 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,863 - We have bigger in Russia. 168 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:06,326 - Just show us where Frasier live. 169 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,526 - Not a real person. 170 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,099 - But on show there is a picture. 171 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,667 That's a real building. 172 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,265 Show us building. 173 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,797 - That one. 174 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,274 - I bet that's where Eddie and Frasier 175 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,271 make the tossed salads and the egg scrambles. 176 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,513 [chuckles] 177 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,807 - Is that your family? 178 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,623 - That's my wife and daughters. 179 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:31,346 - [quietly speaking Russian] 180 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,521 - [speaking Russian] Stella. 181 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:35,992 - You guys know Stella? 182 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:39,059 - We see her on the online. 183 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,389 - Really? 184 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,863 Wow. 185 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,532 I guess her Internet stuff's actually taking off. 186 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,202 - And you know about this? 187 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,739 - Yeah, if my daughter's making a buck, 188 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:50,165 we're all for it. 189 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,910 - You are a better man than me. 190 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,235 If my daughter show breasts on interweb for money-- 191 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,911 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 192 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,209 Are you telling me my daughter's 193 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,850 taking her top off on the Internet? 194 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,816 - Yes. Top, bottom, middle. 195 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:05,852 - God. 196 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:09,563 - [speaking Russian] 197 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:12,557 - [speaking Russian] 198 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:18,434 * 199 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,678 - Well, I think Stella-- 200 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,709 - Not yet. 201 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:43,389 - I mean, maybe she's-- 202 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,490 - Still not ready. 203 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:49,602 * 204 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,331 - Now? 205 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,332 - Okay. 206 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,703 - Okay. 207 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,672 I think this is one of those parenting moments 208 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,140 where we each say what we think we should do 209 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,039 and then respect what the other one's opinion is. 210 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,882 - Sure. 211 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,207 - I think we should talk to her and let it be her decision. 212 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,253 - I think that's [bleep] crazy. 213 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,447 We obviously have to lock her in a tower like Rapunzel, 214 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,493 but unlike that dumb witch, we shave her head. 215 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,326 - We said she was our adult roommate. 216 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,958 If she wants to do this, she can. 217 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:27,644 The only tool in our arsenal is kicking her out. 218 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,895 - I think it's the perfect tool for this situation. 219 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,840 - But then she'll be out in the world, 220 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,642 still doing this webcam thing, 221 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,154 and we won't be able to keep an eye on her. 222 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,145 No control. 223 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:43,476 - I like control. 224 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:47,893 Control's my thing. 225 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:50,758 - I think what we should do is talk to her about this 226 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:53,328 calmly and rationally. 227 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,326 - Good idea. 228 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:58,197 Stella, get in here! 229 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,668 - Hey. 230 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,837 We're gonna be okay. 231 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,295 We got through that day in high school 232 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,373 we found out she was on birth control. 233 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,572 - The day the music died. 234 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,653 - What's up? 235 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:15,616 - Your father and I have some questions for you. 236 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,685 - Okay, shoot. 237 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:20,415 - You're killing me. 238 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,320 - That's not a question. 239 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,322 - Why are you killing me? 240 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:28,859 . 241 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,057 - I don't know why you guys are freaking out so much. 242 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,525 It's legal entertainment. 243 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,344 It's like being naked in a play or a movie. 244 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,707 I'm playing a part. 245 00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,036 - Yeah, you're playing the role of 246 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,840 "girl destroying father." 247 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,243 - But I'm an adult. 248 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,054 - Martina, do something, your therapy thing. 249 00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,876 Hypnotize her. 250 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,353 - Do you have any idea what I do? 251 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,922 - Actually, Mom, I'm basically doing what you do. 252 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,761 A lot my fans just want to talk, 253 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,490 like therapy. 254 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,904 - What I do, Stella, is quite different. 255 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,598 I listen to their problems. 256 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:07,939 I make them feel better, 257 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:11,735 and they leave with a sense of calm and release. 258 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,907 I hear it now, 259 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:23,183 and it sounds very similar, but it's not. 260 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,323 Hi, Shea, you're off to work, honey? 261 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,548 - No, actually. 262 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,123 I'm on my way to the Already Ready Burger 263 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,861 corporate offices to powwow with the big boys. 264 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,858 I guess I'll find out if I'm "already ready" 265 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,760 for another promotion. 266 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,973 I am. 267 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:43,472 - Wow, Stella, why can't you be more like your sister? 268 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,510 - Mike, we agreed never to compare them. 269 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:49,936 - But she's so obviously the good one. 270 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,443 - Hey, how much do you make? 271 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,614 - $20 an hour. 272 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,682 - See, Dad? 273 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,220 I make $4 a minute, 274 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,245 which for an hour is like... 275 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,021 - This could be a while. Shea, you can go. 276 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,057 - Look, Stella, we want to respect your decisions, 277 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,473 but we also want you to think things through. 278 00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,595 Your body, these levels of intimacy 279 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,372 are something you should share with someone you love. 280 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,641 Sharing it with some stranger who's paying you 281 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,540 may seem okay in the moment, but in time, you may find 282 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:27,114 you're giving up more than you know, 283 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,554 and it'll affect your sense of self, your worth, 284 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,590 and your future real relationships with men. 285 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:37,362 - Wow, Mom. You're good. 286 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,387 - That's what I do. 287 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,164 - So you'll stop? 288 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,603 - Look, I hear what you're saying, 289 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,067 but I'm not doing anything I'm uncomfortable with. 290 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:50,097 I love you both, but I can handle this. 291 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:55,038 240! 292 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,912 I just figured it out. 293 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,750 That's how much I make an hour. 294 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:03,645 See? It's improving my math skills too. 295 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,950 * 296 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:10,064 - Did you finish filling out your end-of-life forms? 297 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,999 "If I am no longer able to say, 'shoot me,' 298 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:18,665 shoot me." 299 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,665 Come on, Bob. 300 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:22,236 Stop telling me to shoot you. 301 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,135 Aside from being truly upsetting, 302 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,337 it's a crime. 303 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,439 - Don't worry. 304 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,940 I've got it covered. 305 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,113 I've got a spare gun in the garage 306 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:35,622 in a box labeled "spare gun." 307 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,085 Now, wear some gloves, do the deed, 308 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,645 then scrape off the serial number with a file. 309 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,123 - Bob. - Shh. Look. 310 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:46,563 At the same time, have somebody who looks like you-- 311 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:50,529 maybe your sister, she's never busy-- 312 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,430 have her drive your car down the highway, 313 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,902 past the cameras, to give you an alibi. 314 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,542 Then toss the gun in the Duwamish River. 315 00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,537 - I can't listen to this anymore. 316 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,539 - Hey, now, wait! 317 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,280 This is the most important part! 318 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,675 If that gun is recovered, call Joey in the evidence room 319 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,548 and say, "ginger snaps." 320 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:11,447 He'll know what to do. 321 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,521 She's going down for this. 322 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:18,190 * 323 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,661 - And this is my new office. 324 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,559 It's crazy. 325 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,061 One day I'm selling burgers, 326 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,503 the next they call me in for a meeting 327 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,927 and now I'm working corporate. 328 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,373 I made a joke about using the remains of ketchup packets 329 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,568 to make tomato soup, and now it's our big Q4 launch. 330 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,240 Anyway, long story short, 331 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,781 you need a job, and I need an assistant. 332 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,105 You interested? 333 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,410 - Well, it would be the two of us working together. 334 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,452 - Although you would be under me. 335 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:47,654 - That sounds like an exciting position. 336 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,764 * 337 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,756 - "'We may have had our differences, Taylor,' 338 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:55,958 "said Katy, 'but we'll always have one friend in common. 339 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,773 Music.'" 340 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,065 It's just a lot, guys. 341 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,568 [cash register bell dings] 342 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,609 Oh, some lucky dude, FlyGuy2020, just bought a private chat. 343 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,576 I'll see you guys in a bit. 344 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,145 Dad? 345 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:19,149 . 346 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,416 - Dad, you are so invading my privacy right now! 347 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,715 - Too bad. From now on I'm gonna be 348 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,593 on your webcam all the time. 349 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,762 And you'll never know when I'm here 350 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,400 or when I'm watching you. 351 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,726 - But then I won't even be able to-- 352 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,030 - Exactly. 353 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,043 - Ugh! That is so unfair. 354 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,295 You can't tell me what to do. 355 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:37,303 I'm an adult. 356 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,574 - Well, I'm an adult, 357 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,411 and you can't tell me what to do. 358 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,537 - Too-chay, Dad, too-chay. 359 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,383 - It's "touché." 360 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,920 - Yeah, it's always to Shea, never to Stella. 361 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,352 But fine, I can wait you out. 362 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,824 You go to bed hella early. 363 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,763 - But I don't. 364 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,228 - Mom? 365 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:03,427 - Stella, we don't care if you do some stupid stuff, 366 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,770 but some stupid things have consequences 367 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,565 farther into the future than others. 368 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,267 - But that's the future. 369 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:12,109 That's just a bunch of stuff that hasn't happened yet. 370 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,605 Plus, look at Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. 371 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:17,137 They made tons of cash getting naked on camera. 372 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,684 - They did that after they were famous. 373 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,479 You're just some anonymous girl. 374 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,752 - You know what? 375 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,350 Maybe you guys are right. 376 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,852 I need to get famous first, 377 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:29,963 then do something like this and really make money. 378 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,086 - Exactly. 379 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,961 Wait until you're very, very famous. 380 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,261 - Okay. I'll wait. 381 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,304 I mean, I was having second thoughts anyway. 382 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,629 I'd hate for taking off my clothes for a bunch of guys 383 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,844 to feel like work. 384 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,306 - That would be a shame. 385 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,977 - Thanks so much for caring about me and my future. 386 00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,076 I love you guys. 387 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,309 Oh, and that'll be $59.99. 388 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,354 But don't worry, I already have your credit card info. 389 00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,687 - That was some good parenting. 390 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,759 - Was it? 391 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,086 I mean, either she's successful, 392 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,633 moves out of the house, and does a sex tape, 393 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,798 or she's not successful, never does a sex tape, 394 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,528 but never leaves the house. 395 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,973 Either way, we lose. 396 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,737 [phone rings] 397 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,471 It's from the good one. 398 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,013 - I told you not to say that. 399 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,838 - Well, she wants us to come to her office 400 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,253 to celebrate another promotion. 401 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,245 - [gasps] Wow! 402 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,217 She is the good one. 403 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,176 * 404 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,324 - This is a nice place. 405 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,119 I guess the burger business is booming. 406 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,961 - Well, there's a lot of money to be made 407 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,385 in good old American beef. 408 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,490 If liberals find a way to ruin hamburgers, shoot me. 409 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:43,363 Put that on my list. 410 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:44,803 - You know, Bob, I've been thinking, 411 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,127 and if it's truly what you want me to do, 412 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,474 I'll do it. 413 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,368 I'll shoot you. 414 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,735 - You'd do that for me? 415 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,740 - Yeah. 416 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,341 I'll file away the serial number, 417 00:17:56,343 --> 00:18:00,253 set my sister up, the whole plan. 418 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:04,517 - Well, I can't abandon a woman who's willing to shoot me. 419 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,817 The only reason I did this in the first place 420 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,919 was because I don't want to be a burden to you. 421 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,622 - Oh, Bob. 422 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:15,504 You're already a burden to me. 423 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,525 But I love that burden, 424 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,200 and I want to carry it as long as I can. 425 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,740 - I'm gonna make sure of it. 426 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:27,974 - Nice ending to a weird story. 427 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,584 - Who am I talking to? 428 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,006 - Jerry Stevens, Stevens Meats. 429 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,680 Three kids, cabin on Lake Okoboji, 430 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,609 big Warriors fan. 431 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,754 - Jerry, my man. 432 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,188 How about those Warriors? 433 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,285 Okay, listen, 434 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:41,486 about this price rise on your sausage patties, 435 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,588 I get it, but, Jerry, at least take me to dinner 436 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,960 before you [bleep] me, am I right? 437 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,097 Seriously, though, fix this or I'll bitch slap you 438 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,399 in front of your family. 439 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,472 Love to the kids, by the way. 440 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,471 - Wow. That was impressive. 441 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:04,213 - Maybe even a little scary. 442 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:07,211 - Tell us about this new promotion. 443 00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:08,324 - Ethan, hit them with it. 444 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,815 - Shea had a meeting with the big boys upstairs. 445 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:14,387 She's now Junior VP in charge of all breakfast meats. 446 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,387 all: Ooh. 447 00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,218 - And they said five years from now, 448 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,394 she could be in charge of the whole western region. 449 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,062 - Ooh. - That's great. 450 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,630 - I thought we could all celebrate. 451 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,129 I mean, it's 5:00 somewhere, am I right? 452 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:30,244 - I wouldn't mind wetting my beak. 453 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,237 [phone chimes] 454 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,339 - Oh, my gosh. 455 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,570 - What is it? 456 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,484 - It's an email from the astrophysics lab. 457 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,306 I got the internship! 458 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,911 I'm gonna be studying the origins of the universe. 459 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,623 - Aww! - Oh, that's great! 460 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,975 - But I have to say no, right? 461 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,624 I mean, it's a three-year commitment with no pay, 462 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:52,290 and this, I mean, this could be the western region. 463 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,462 Even though it's not my dream, 464 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,430 maybe it's where I'm meant to be. 465 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:59,999 - Honey, I think you should take the internship. 466 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,099 - Your mother's right. 467 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,270 I usually scoff at dream-following, 468 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:08,070 but...you've got a dream worth following. 469 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,044 - We both do. Right, Mom and Dad? 470 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,877 - Sure. 471 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,953 - I'll do it. I'm gonna take it. 472 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,952 Oh, my God. I can't believe I was this close 473 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,124 to spending the rest of my life 474 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:25,692 talking about tomato to lettuce ratios. 475 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:30,262 It should be two to one, but they just don't get it! 476 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:33,603 Sorry, not my problem anymore. 477 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,440 I guess I won't need an assistant anymore, 478 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:37,736 but following me around 479 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,137 couldn't have been your dream either, Ethan. 480 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,639 - No... 481 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,682 of course not. 482 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,477 But it did feel nice being good at something again. 483 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,751 - You'll find something else. 484 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,090 - I'll keep looking. 485 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,815 - Both our girls were making money, 486 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:58,191 but...we stopped that. 487 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,129 [phone rings] 488 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:02,497 - It's Jerry again. 489 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,555 I got to take this. 490 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,634 Talk to me, Jerry. 491 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:10,143 Yes, 229 we can deal with. 492 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,536 You're the man, Jerry. 493 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,868 You are the man. 494 00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,884 What a pussy. 495 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:22,246 *