(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Going down the rabbit hole
♪ Where we're going no one knows
♪ Obstacles 'round every bend
♪ Let's see where the tunnel ends ♪
Okay, Squeaks, don't try to go too fast.
Try this out.
Uh-huh. Oh, uh-oh. Oh!
How cute.
I remember when I was first learning to skate.
Greetings, lucky soon to be spectators,
I bring you all a special treat.
Me!
ALL: Yeah, yeah, you show them. Victor, we love you.
We are your biggest fans!
What a pleasure it is for you to have me here today.
I suppose you think you're a great figure skater.
Uh, I guess I'm pretty decent.
(SARCASTICALLY) Oh, I'm so impressed.
I'm shaking in my skives.
(LAUGHING IN A CHEERING TUNE)
Oh, you're so funny, Victor.
I didn't say I was amazing.
Ah, but I am.
A spin, a twist and you can't help but look at me!
I am grace and beauty in motion.
I am the Victor!
I didn't know this was a competion.
(LAUGHING IN A TUNE)
Everything's a competion, my friend.
I am more graceful than you,
I am faster than you
and I can dance better than you.
And while some of us were destined to skate,
some of us are are you.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Everyone, clear the ice!
I am going to treat you all to an ice dance
dedicated to the most important person in my life,
myself.
(ALL GROANING)
Victor's ego is so big, he needs the entire lake, huh?
Well, to the victor goes the spoils.
Feel free to admire me!
ALL: You are amazing, Victor.
Who is he to ruin everyone's good time?
Let's see how graceful he is when he is shell-shocked!
Nuts!
(GROWLING)
(SQUEAKING)
Pee-yew!
(GROWLING)
(YELLS)
That ought to cool him off.
(YELLING)
Penalty, icing. Come on, fellow, you know better.
(MUMBLING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
Did the referee see that?
(BUGS HUMMING)
I hope you're faster than you are graceful.
If you're so smart,
I challenge you to a 3,200 meter super medley!
You're on, mister. Just a sec.
Ready?
(DRUMS PLAYING)
1,200 laps around the track.
Ready, set, go!
Whee!
Look, Squeaks, I'm doing it.
Oh, oh, I think I got a foot cramp.
Oh! Don't you hate when that happens?
You know, I think I'll enjoy being a snow bunny.
Uh-oh, there's a big hole here.
Somebody can trip and fall in.
That's better.
(MUFFLED VOICE)
(ICE CRACKING)
(YELLING)
All right, this ends now!
No one makes a loser out of Victor!
Let's dance.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)
(MEN GASP)
His hand touched the ice.
-(EXCLAIMS) -Oops, butter fingers.
(THUDDING)
(EXCLAIMS)
Yay! Go, Bugs!
What? He's a good skater.
(VICTOR YELLING)
(SUPPRESSED LAUGHTER)
(YELLS)
(SCREAMS)
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GROANS)
Bet you didn't know these could go so fast.
I made a few adjustments.
(CROWD CHEERING)
-(BLOWING RASPBERRY) -(CROWD BOOS)
-(CROWD CHEERING) -(LAUGHING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Watch out!
You're on thin ice with me.
Phew!
A little help here.
ALL: Bugs! Bugs! Bugs! We love you!
(BEAR SCOUT SHIVERING)
SCOUT MASTER: You call yourself a scout?
You're not worthy of this badge.
All right, scouts, listen up.
The key to proper fishing is to find a large rock and displace all the water.
Mmm, uh, Scout Master. I'm not sure...
Don't tell me how to do my job.
I'm the scout master here.
Why, back in my day, we didn't have...
Eh, I see you're having a hard time teaching these scouts how to fish.
Oh, I see, you wanna help teach them?
Sure, I guess I can show them a few tricks.
-Well, then, go fish! -(GASPS)
I think it's against scout code to endanger the life of a civilian.
Huh? Uh...
Exactly! I was just testing you.
Hey, what kind of Eagle Scout does that?
Uh, I'm actually only a, uh... (CLEARS THROAT) Tenderfoot.
But, you're an eagle.
I'd rather not talk about it.
What do you know about it, civilian?
Civilian?
I'll have you know that I'm a scout, too.
Troop 261 and a half, St. Louis, Missouri.
And I hereby challenge you to a badge off.
(GASPS)
A badge off?
A badge off.
A badge off?
A badge off.
A badge off?
Badge off!
Okay, let's have a badge off.
-I'll be right back. -Ah!
(LAUGHS) You look ridiculous.
It's been a while since I've worn it.
Let the badge off begin.
The first challenge is tracking.
"Both scouts must head out into the forest.
"Whomever locates the other scout first wins!"
I'll go first.
(LAUGHS)
Hmm...
I'm fairly certain he went this way.
-The sign says... -Silence!
Rabbit tracks are easily distinguishable
from other animals with different foot shapes.
That's odd. The tracks stop abruptly in midair.
(THUD)
-(GROANING) -Uh, you know you can fly, right?
(GROANING)
Congrats, Scout, you found him first.
According to the rules, you must be stripped of your tracking badge.
Uh, here you go.
Challenge two, knot tying.
First I'm going to start with a sailor's knot.
Now I'll go from a granny's knot into a cat's paw.
Then double carrot bend into a dingle snippet.
Loop it over and also hitch.
Then a rather knot followed by a loose crisscross.
-BEAR SCOUT: Time's up! -What the...
Wow, you did it!
I did, didn't I? (LAUGHS)
Looks like I beat you this time, rabbit.
Not so fast!
This Stevedore's knot looks suspicious.
(GROANS)
-Let's see yours. -I just have a knot.
Hmm...
Well, one beats zero.
Congratulations!
For a second there, I thought you had me beat.
Not!
BEAR SCOUT: Badge off challenge three.
"Be the first to build a bridge
"and prove it can support more than 200 pounds."
This is going to be easy.
(AX CHOPPING)
-Done. -(CREAKING)
(YELLS)
BUGS: Not so fast.
Oh, come on.
That flimsy thing could never support 200 pounds.
Well, we'll never know until we test it.
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(STRAINING)
Hey, cubby, come here.
This bridge can hold 200 pounds and then some.
Winner.
(SCREAMS)
(CREAKING)
(GROANING)
I knew that flimsy bridge wouldn't hold.
All right, time for the final challenge.
-Which one? -(GASPS)
Air traffic control.
Air traffic control!
Air traffic control?
You know you can fly, right?
That's right, the sky is mine.
(RADAR PINGING)
SCOUT MASTER: There ain't no way he's taking my badge on this challenge.
I'm gonna throw a little bit of everything at him.
B. Bunny here, we got an eagle in the nest.
Can we get huevos rancheros in this pine topper?
Now let's make those sunny side up.
(LAUGHS) What kind of lingo is that?
A lot of good that's going to do you.
All right, Flight 133.
You're clear for take-off.
Oh, abandoning your post, huh?
You finally realized that you're out of your...
-(AIRPLANE APPROACHING) -Uh-oh.
Do I get miles for this flight?
-(GROANS) -Thank you.
-(TRUMPET PLAYING) -Hey, look!
ALL: The Chief Executive Scout!
Word reached headquarters that there's a badge off underway.
Actually, the badge off just ended, sir.
Zero badges, huh?
Looks like there is a bit you can learn from this rabbit here.
-Huh? -And the best way to learn is through example.
So I hereby make you both
-Scout Masters of this troop. -Huh? What?
You'll spend every single moment of every single day together
for the rest of your scouting careers.
(SCREAMS)
See, I told you he could fly.
♪ Going down the rabbit hole
♪ Where we're going no one knows
♪ Obstacles 'round every bend
♪ Let's see where the tunnel ends ♪