1
00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:02,002
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

2
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-[THUNDER BREAKS]
-[SCREAMS]

3
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[STUTTERS] There sure are
a lot of the dark and stormy
nights here in Transylvania.

4
00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:30,552
But, as we say
in the blood bank business,

5
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just 'cause there's
a lot O-negative,

6
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doesn't mean
you can't B-positive.

7
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[KNOCK AT DOOR]

8
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A customer... At this hour?

9
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[THUNDER RUMBLES]

10
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Good evening.
I'm in search of blood.

11
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Well, you've come
to the right place.
Please step on in.

12
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:52,835
Good! I could really
use a drink.

13
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,837
You're not supposed
to drink the blood.

14
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You're supposed to donate it.

15
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Relax, I'm a vampire.

16
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Drinking blood is what I do.

17
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[STAMMERS]

18
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Vampire.

19
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[SCREAMS] Vampire!

20
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Did someone say "Vampire"?

21
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[GRUNTS]

22
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Daffy van Duckling.
Greatest vampire hunter
in the world,

23
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has vanquished the vampire.

24
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But I'm not a vampire.

25
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I know a vampire
when I see one.

26
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Just look at your pale skin,
those blood-sucking incisors,
that curly tail!

27
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You are so a vampire.

28
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Would you mind
getting the door?

29
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You got it, chump!

30
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Have a lovely evening,
my good sir.

31
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Now back to Dracula.

32
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I'm not the vampire.

33
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Vampires don't show
their reflection.

34
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Sorry to bother you.
I dropped one.

35
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:48,369
You know,
I think that was the vampire.

36
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That's what I was
trying to tell you.

37
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Fear not, pedestrian!
Daffy van Duckling is here.

38
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So, what's the plan?

39
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You get in the coffin.

40
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When the vampire climbs in,
grab him.

41
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What? Why don't you
get in the coffin?

42
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You're the vampire hunter.

43
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No time for discussion.
The plan's in motion.

44
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[DRILLING]

45
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-He might...
-[BABBLING]

46
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-[KNOCK AT DOOR]
-Isn't that how it always is?

47
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Right when you sit down
to a meal.

48
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I represent the
Super Deluxe Coffin Company,

49
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making super deluxe coffins
since 1959.

50
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Have you ever had
a bad night's sleep?

51
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Well, multiply that
by eternity!

52
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I'm listening.

53
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Let me introduce you
to the Sarcophagus 3000,

54
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the most
state-of-the-art casket
on the market today.

55
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Ooh!

56
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This beaut's got everything.

57
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Hot tub, flat-screen TV,
not to mention, free Wi-Fi.

58
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That's nice.

59
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Even dead people
got to stay connected.

60
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Exactly!
Go ahead, give it a spin.

61
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[GIGGLING]

62
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Oh, yes, this is nice.
It's so soft.

63
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This would be like
sleeping on a pile of puppies.

64
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Wow! That sounds
too good to be true.

65
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-Let me try it out.
I was here first.
-[PORKY GROANS]

66
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Wow!
This is really comfortable.

67
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A duck could get used
to this kind of...

68
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Gotcha! Ha!

69
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Toodle-doo Nosfera..
[STUTTERS] Nosfera...
[STUTTERS]

70
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...vampire!

71
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[DAFFY SHRIEKS]

72
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Wow, that plan
actually worked?

73
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And right now
we just need to grab...

74
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[EXCLAIMS]

75
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I'm gonna check on my friend.

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[STAMMERING]

77
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[BOTH SCREAMING]

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Now that I've gotten rid
of those numbskulls,
I can get back to my meal.

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[SCREAMING]

80
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[GRUNTS]

81
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[GROANING]

82
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I got the blood.
Let's find another way
out of here.

83
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-[KNOCK AT DOOR]
-Oh, good!

84
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What are you doing?
That's the vampire!

85
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VAMPIRE: No, it isn't.
It's Joe, from
Transylvania Gas Company.

86
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Now's not a good time, Joe.

87
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I thought maybe,
you were the pizza guy.

88
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You ordered a pizza?

89
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Vampire hunting
has made me peckish.

90
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Oh, sorry about that.
Clearly not a good time.

91
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I'll come back later, okay?

92
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[FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY]

93
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:05,288
Oh, hey, pizza guy!
That pizza sure
smells fantastic!

94
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,943
Sure is, Joe from
Transylvania Gas Company.

95
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,640
I have this
delicious pizza pie

96
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:12,469
for the two mortals
in this lovely castle.

97
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:15,907
-Oh, good! My pizza's here!
-Daffy! [STAMMERS]
That's the...

98
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Vampire!

99
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,738
You have to work a second job?

100
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,872
No, it was a ruse.
I was trying to...

101
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,178
Oh, forget it.
I'm going to suck your blood!

102
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[BOTH SCREAMING]

103
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Oh, good! Sunlight.
He can't get us or he'll burn.

104
00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:36,928
Ha! You'll never get us now,
you goblin!

105
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You succubus!

106
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You glorified lamprey!

107
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Ha! I've seen mosquitoes
tougher than you.

108
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[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

109
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You know, mosquitoes nowadays
are pretty tough.

110
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They'll bite your head off.

111
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And so will I!

112
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Hello. The door was open.

113
00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:57,601
I've got a pizza delivery here
for a Diffy von Dorkling?

114
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-I'm right over here.
-What is happening?

115
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Are you gonna deny us
a last meal?

116
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:04,260
I suppose it's only fair.

117
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Yuck! It has garlic on it.

118
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-Garlic? Give me that!
-Hey!

119
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[GULPS]

120
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[GASPS]

121
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[CROAKS]

122
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I feel the same way
about garlic.

123
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[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] You!

124
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You're not getting rid of me
that easy!

125
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[YELLING] Turn me back!

126
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:29,807
Sometimes, it takes a bat
to get rid of a bat.

127
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I did it! Daffy van Duckling
vanquished the vampire.

128
00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:36,553
[THUNDER RUMBLES]

129
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,251
Let's see if this can
also get rid of ducks.

130
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:43,081
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

131
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Morning! And welcome to
Tad Tucker's five-and-a-half
minute workout.

132
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:50,045
The only workout program
that uses natures
natural gymnasium

133
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to get your body
in rock-solid shape.

134
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:55,746
Now, before you start
your total body work over,

135
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:58,183
it's important
that you get proper nutrition.

136
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For example, this morning
I ate an entire
family of rabbit.

137
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So delicious.

138
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:06,322
Nothing gets you juice
like eating rabbit.

139
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:09,281
But if you don't
have time to catch
an entire family of rabbits,

140
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,197
you can buy one
of Tad Tucker's energy bars.

141
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:15,070
There's an entire family
of rabbits in every one.

142
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,854
Now, let's get started.

143
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I'm gonna push you
harder than you've
ever been pushed before.

144
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-[HORN HONKS]
-[CRASHES]

145
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:22,512
-My car!
-[CAR ALARM BLARING]

146
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,601
Oh, I'm gonna push
Tad Tucker all right.

147
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-Push him real good.
-[CAR ALARM CHRIPS]

148
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:30,128
What in the platypus?
My camera's been
knocked over.

149
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:33,088
And someone's put
a scarecrow made of
muddy leaves in the car

150
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,350
and set off the alarm.

151
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,613
No matter,
it's not gonna stop me

152
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:39,921
from helping you get into
the best shape of your life.

153
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,401
The first thing
I want you to do

154
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is something I call
"chasing the wombat".

155
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[PANTING] Yeah.

156
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Start by running in place.

157
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,364
You wanna grab that wombat.

158
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:49,713
Grab that wombat.

159
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One, two...

160
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:52,934
Three. [EXCLAIMS]

161
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[GROANS]

162
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[GROANING] Stand by, folks.

163
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:00,811
All right,

164
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,726
well, obviously, I forgot
lesson number one.

165
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,555
Don't leave anything lying
around your workout area.

166
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,209
Especially rabbit traps.

167
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,646
Now let's move on to
our next exercise

168
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,953
which I call,
"Punching the dingo".

169
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,085
This is for your
triceps and biceps.

170
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,609
Punch the dingo. Come on.

171
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:16,958
Punch him like you mean it.

172
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,133
That dingo took
your girlfriend.

173
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,351
Now he's on your left.

174
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,136
-[BUZZING]
-[SCREAMS]

175
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,878
[MUFFLED] That's the fun part
of working out in nature.

176
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:29,231
You never know when
you're going to get
some extra cardio.

177
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,276
Oh, there we go.

178
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:34,105
Now, this next
exercise is called
"the squatting kangaroo".

179
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:37,631
Imagine you're
a kangaroo squatting
in the Outback.

180
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,894
I want you to squat and jump.

181
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,591
Squat and jump.

182
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,724
Really explode
through your gluteus.

183
00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:46,161
Now, give me five good jumps.
Squat and...

184
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:48,032
Jump!

185
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,818
[SCREAMING]

186
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:53,995
Well, I've been pricked
and stung and caught
in my own rabbit traps.

187
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,171
No pain, no six-pack abs.

188
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,608
Now, all you need
for this next exercise

189
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,915
is a resistance band
and a tree stump.

190
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,656
Attach the band to the stump

191
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:06,007
and push away to flex those
pecks and deltoid muscles.

192
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,400
[STRAINING]

193
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,664
TAD: I can feel my muscles
getting rock hard.

194
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:12,230
Oh, yeah.

195
00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,145
I better be careful,

196
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:16,321
otherwise my perfect physique
is gonna go straight to my...

197
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,672
[SCREAMS]

198
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,022
That went straight
to his head, all right.

199
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,677
[CHUCKLES] Okay,
lesson learned.

200
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,853
That band must've gotten
caught on a rock.

201
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,420
So, I just swung the band
over this branch

202
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,380
and it's time to work on our
lower trapezius muscles.

203
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,338
Must get ripped!

204
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:35,036
[GROANS]

205
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,342
Okay, forget that
resistance band.

206
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,127
I'm gonna use nature.

207
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:42,217
This is a more
challenging exercise anyway.

208
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:46,047
For this one, you need
five medium-sized boulders
and a hill.

209
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,876
You have to push
all of these boulders
to the top of the hill

210
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,530
as quickly as you can.

211
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,271
Remember,
no Sisyphus-ing around.

212
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,621
Ready? Go.

213
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,274
[STRAINS]

214
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,363
Okay, that's one.

215
00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,843
Now, let's keep up the pace.

216
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:03,281
That's one down, four to go.

217
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:06,110
Remember, try not to focus
on how many are left...

218
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,808
[SQUEALS]

219
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:10,854
[GROANS] I got wedged
between those two boulders.

220
00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:13,030
No big deal.
Try to man up and...

221
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,379
[SCREAMS]

222
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,381
What the... I gotta
get out of here.

223
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:18,470
It's coming back! [GROANS]

224
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,910
[GROANS]

225
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:25,129
Thank goodness,
I can rest for a second.

226
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,481
[GROANS]

227
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:38,795
[IMITATING TAD]
Remember folks,
eat a family of rabbits.

228
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:43,365
[LAUGHS] All right,
we've come to my favorite part
of the workout...

229
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:44,714
The obstacle course.

230
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,455
Let me show you how to do it.

231
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:49,327
All you have to do is hop
through these rope squares,

232
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,112
climb this rope,

233
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:52,635
shimmy across here,

234
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,681
monkey bar over to this tree,

235
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,552
do three inverted sit-ups,

236
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,859
one, two, three,

237
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,774
do your best
Tarzan impression,

238
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,210
[MIMICS TARZAN YELL]

239
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,430
And then, just run back
to the beginning

240
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:07,128
and do it all over again.

241
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:08,564
Now that you
got the hang of it,

242
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:09,957
let's do it together.

243
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,046
Okay, first the rope squares.

244
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,091
[GRUNTING]

245
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,484
-[SNIFFING]
-Climb the rope.

246
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,008
Shimmy across here.

247
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,444
[ROARS]

248
00:10:19,531 --> 00:10:20,576
Monkey bars!

249
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,709
That was close.

250
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,624
Everybody knows
that bears don't have
the upper body strength...

251
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:25,799
[SCREAMS]

252
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,627
[GROANS]

253
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:28,976
[SCREAMING]

254
00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,282
[BEAR GROWLS]

255
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,893
[TAD SCREAMING]

256
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,987
Push, baby!

257
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,336
[GROANS]

258
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:43,860
[GRUNTS] Oi!

259
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,081
[TAD EXCLAIMING]

260
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:51,781
[SLURRING] You see...
As promised, my body got
totally worked out.

261
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,130
[GROANS]

262
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,394
[GROWLS]

263
00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:58,092
Tad was right about one thing,

264
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,661
workin' out can be a real
grizzly experience.

265
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,101
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]