1
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,660
I just got a phone bill
for hundreds of dollars

2
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:10,662
for a landline
I didn't know we had.

3
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,055
Have you seen one around?

4
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,144
Can't say that I have.

5
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,842
Also, can't say that I know
what a landline is.

6
00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,410
It's a phone that's
connected by a cord
to the wall.

7
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:20,846
Ah, I get it.

8
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,761
So you could stay
in one place
to churn your butter.

9
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,634
Yeah, sure.

10
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,465
[GASPS] Wait a minute.

11
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:35,905
Here it is.

12
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,693
Were all old-timey phones
shaped like hamburgers?

13
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,305
And do you text on
the bun or the cheese?

14
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,264
There was no texting
back then.

15
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:49,875
[GASPS] No texting?

16
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:52,400
This is why your generation
only lives to 27.

17
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,668
[LINE RINGING]

18
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,539
AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
You have reached
Dusty Tush Bell.

19
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,889
There are currently
two callers ahead of you.

20
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,282
Thank you for holding.

21
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,371
Your call is sort of
important to us.

22
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,417
[CHEERFUL MUSIC
PLAYING OVER LINE]

23
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:14,117
Hmm. Farm animals
and smooth jazz.

24
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:15,292
My worlds have collided.

25
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,687
Also, why does this phone
smell like a hamburger?

26
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,953
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

27
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:26,390
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

28
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:29,132
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

29
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,923
Noah. Noah.

30
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,099
You're not
gonna believe this.

31
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,361
Teddy Starr

32
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,884
is coming to Dusty Tush.

33
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,191
Teddy Starr, as in our
favorite shoe designer?

34
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:45,453
The one and only.

35
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:46,715
I'm trying to decide
which part of my body

36
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:47,803
I want to get signed.

37
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,196
I'm leaning
towards my face.

38
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:52,024
But, like, you wouldn't
scribble on the Mona Lisa.

39
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,203
You guys have a
favorite shoe designer?

40
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,465
Yeah, don't you?

41
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,553
No. I mean,

42
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,076
I have a favorite
button designer

43
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,208
and favorite
zipper designer,

44
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,296
but shoes?

45
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,427
That's just weird.

46
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:07,388
Teddy Starr is doing
an exclusive shoe drop

47
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,650
in Dusty Tush.

48
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:09,781
Big deal.

49
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,827
I drop my shoes here
all the time.

50
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,829
Dropped them in the lake
just the other day.

51
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,005
Where's my party?

52
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:17,572
Jake,

53
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,226
a shoe drop is
when a designer

54
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:22,490
reveals their sneakers to the
world for the first time.

55
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,753
But he always does his
drops in big cities

56
00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,189
like New York or LA.

57
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,843
Why Dusty Tush?
Did he get lost?

58
00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:30,237
Who cares?

59
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,455
Maybe he just likes towns
named after butts,

60
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,675
and we barely beat out
Chunky Bottoms, Idaho.

61
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,504
I'll come with you guys.

62
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,506
I'm still fuzzy on
what's happening

63
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,290
and a visual might help.

64
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,423
Now, where are
my shoes?

65
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,467
Oh, right.

66
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:44,512
Still in the lake.

67
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:48,820
Hey, Destiny.

68
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,996
I hope your taste buds
are ready for a treat.

69
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,998
My taste buds died
four summers ago

70
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,349
and are buried in a shallow
grave in the woods of Maine

71
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,872
but I'll give it a try.

72
00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:06,011
Oh, wow. What is this?

73
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,796
That's a bowl of
famous Pickett chili.

74
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:10,320
It's been handed down in
my family for generations.

75
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,366
To clarify, do you mean
the recipe has

76
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,237
been handed down
for generations

77
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,021
or this exact
bowl of chili?

78
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,198
The recipe.

79
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,416
It's my first time
making it.

80
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,505
Uh-oh.

81
00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,028
I didn't mess it up, did I?

82
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:26,641
Well, the truth is...[SIGHS]

83
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:30,166
It's so good.
You did such a good job.

84
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,298
But, question.

85
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:32,734
Does it always taste this...

86
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,039
[CLEARS THROAT]

87
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,084
...flavorful?

88
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,479
Not sure. It was scolding
hot when I tried it

89
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,220
and it burned
my taste buds off.

90
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,569
Now I can't taste anything.

91
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,048
Kind of a blessing
at this camp.

92
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,834
But anyone worthy of
the Pickett name

93
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,836
can make a mean
bowl of this chili.

94
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,968
[CHUCKLING] Don't think
you can get much meaner.

95
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,797
Or more sour?

96
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,410
That settles it.

97
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,890
I'm going to enter it into
the Dusty Tush chili cook-off.

98
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,850
Uh, what? Is that
where we were going?

99
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,895
Thanks for encouraging me
to do this, Destiny.

100
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,420
I did do that,
didn't I?

101
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,073
Oopsies.

102
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,691
Hey, Lou. Can you help me
with something special

103
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,258
I'm planning for
campfire tonight?

104
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,390
I'd ask Destiny, but she's
locked in the bathroom

105
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,653
determined to
"get the chili out."

106
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:25,526
I'd love to help, but

107
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,658
I'm still on hold
to cancel this landline.

108
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,400
WOMAN ON PHONE:
Howdy hoo, this is Sally Sue.
How can I help you?

109
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,097
A real human voice!

110
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:33,316
I've been on hold
for over an hour.

111
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:35,187
You seem busy.

112
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,580
I'll find the cattle
prods on my own.

113
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:37,625
Yeah, sounds good.
Have fun.

114
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,062
Hey, Sally Sue.

115
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:42,282
I would love to cancel
this landline.

116
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,892
Oh, I wish I could
help you, sweetie,

117
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,894
but this is the
upgrades department.

118
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,070
While I have you, would you
like to get a second line

119
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,899
for the low, low price
of $15 a month?

120
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,989
I want no lines for
zero dollars a month.

121
00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:55,120
Sorry if that wasn't clear.

122
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,252
I'm not sure if
I should be speaking

123
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,819
into the beef
or the cheddar.

124
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:02,084
All righty, then,
I'll just transfer you
to cancellations.

125
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:03,172
One moment.

126
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,174
No, no. Can't you just help...

127
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,871
AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
There are currently
12 callers ahead of you.

128
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,656
No.

129
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,006
Wait, did Winnie just
say "cattle prods"?

130
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:19,971
Hello, Jake.

131
00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:21,669
Hello, Jake's
unnecessary umbrella.

132
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,020
I'm protecting myself
from the shoe drop.

133
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,196
What if they're cleats?

134
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:38,686
Sync your hands up,
Dusty Tush!

135
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,342
Teddy Starr
is in your presence!

136
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,388
Okay, stop clapping.

137
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,696
Dude, I'm so happy.

138
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,439
And I am so jealous
of all of you.

139
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,702
The biggest regret of my life
is not being lucky enough

140
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:55,833
to meet... [GASPS]

141
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:56,878
...myself.

142
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,881
It's easy.
Just buy a mirror.

143
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,625
Now, why is world-famous
Teddy Starr in Wyoming

144
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,540
blessing you with his
latest creation?

145
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,324
I don't know.
We're not worthy.

146
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,891
Correct.

147
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,676
But my marketing team said I
lost touch with the common man

148
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,331
after I made my last shoe
out of solid gold.

149
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,682
Apparently, the common man
likes to be able to walk.

150
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,380
We're weirdos.
Forgive us.

151
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:22,730
Now,

152
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:24,819
allow Teddy Starr to present
the greatest innovation

153
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,864
in fashion-forward footwear,

154
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:30,041
the ultra-exclusive TS-19.

155
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,391
[ALL EXCLAIMING]

156
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:33,697
Shoelaces sold separately.

157
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,397
Good heavens.
They're glorious.

158
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,269
Now twist.

159
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:43,403
I'm only giving away
two of these TS-19s.

160
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:44,839
If you want them,

161
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,841
you must compete
against each other

162
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:50,105
to show Teddy Starr
who his biggest fans are.

163
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,237
Clap now.

164
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:56,067
Dude, we have to
win those shoes.

165
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,721
Or, pitch on
your pitch,

166
00:06:57,765 --> 00:07:00,507
we leave here with our
self-esteem intact.

167
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,465
Nah, I think
what you think.
Self-esteem is overrated.

168
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,908
Hey, Destiny.
You ready for seconds?

169
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:15,739
Oh, wow! You made
so much more.

170
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,872
Of course. The Pickett
family chili recipe

171
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,265
has won every contest
it's ever been in.

172
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:21,310
Just like you Destiny.

173
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,096
Please don't compare me to it.

174
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,404
It's just that taste
is so subjective.

175
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,666
Clearly, I love it.

176
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,625
But I'm not a judge
in the chili cook-off.

177
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,932
Destiny Baker, you're gonna be
a judge in the chili cook-off.

178
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,194
No!Yes!

179
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,066
I'm sorry, The Marshal,

180
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:39,328
what are you talking about?

181
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:41,069
Well, as the
reigning rodeo queen,

182
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:43,245
being a judge is
one of your duties.

183
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,465
Lest you thought it was
all fun stuff like

184
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,641
tiaras and
stoplight unveilings.

185
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,471
At least one
of the judges
will love my chili.

186
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:52,646
Who?

187
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,996
Oh, right. Me. Yes. Correct.

188
00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,957
Whoever thought
"Mary had a Little Lamb"

189
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,611
was a good choice for hold
music should be thrown

190
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,919
in front of the stabbiest
farm equipment we own.

191
00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:07,617
WOMAN ON PHONE:
Howdy hoo, this Sally Sue.
How can I help you?

192
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:08,923
Sally Sue?

193
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:09,967
From upgrades?

194
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,099
I thought you
transferred me

195
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:12,404
to cancellations
two hours ago.

196
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:13,971
I handle both
departments, dear.

197
00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:16,147
I was doing upgrades
before my lunch break,

198
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,758
and now I'm doing
cancellations.

199
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,500
I'm living proof you
can have it all.

200
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,805
So you took a break
and put me on hold

201
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,633
when you could have just
canceled my line before?

202
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,983
Sweetie, how could I
cancel your line

203
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,463
when I was in upgrade?

204
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,986
But you're not listening.

205
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:31,554
I'm not listening?

206
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,121
You're not listening.

207
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:35,602
I demand that you cancel
my landline right now.

208
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,560
Well, I do not appreciate
your tone.

209
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,606
Sounds like someone could
use a few more rounds of

210
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,782
"Mary had a Little Lamb"
to cool their jets.

211
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,001
No, no, no, no.
Do not put me back on...

212
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,350
["MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB"
PLAYING]

213
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,222
Sally Sue!

214
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,965
Lou, is everything okay?

215
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:52,793
Who's Sally Sue?

216
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,882
Quite possibly the devil.

217
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,494
Do you have a second
to give me some advice?

218
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,583
AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
There are currently
20 callers ahead of you.

219
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:03,673
Yeah, I've got time.

220
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,721
So Bill wants to enter
the worst chili

221
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,506
I've ever tasted in the
Dusty Tush cook-off.

222
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,638
Well, if you really
think it's that bad,

223
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:12,682
you should just
tell him the truth.

224
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,075
It's the right thing to do.

225
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,642
Of course it's the
right thing to do.

226
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,383
I was hoping you would tell me
the easy thing to do.

227
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,211
That's why I came to you.
The woman who

228
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:21,952
"borrows all of
our electricity."

229
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:25,216
Destiny, shush. This
call is being recorded

230
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,566
for quality
assurance purposes.

231
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,264
I know.

232
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,222
I'll bring a pot of good
chili to the cook-off

233
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:32,659
and swap it with his.

234
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,443
So that he can just be
embarrassed by his chili

235
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,531
at some other time
in the future?

236
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,750
Exactly.

237
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,360
Hopefully by someone
less afraid of conflict.

238
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,404
You get it.

239
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,493
By the way,

240
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:43,278
do you know what Winnie's
planning for campfire?

241
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,540
No idea.

242
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,107
I wonder if it has
anything to do with that

243
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,675
beehive and bear trap
I saw her with.

244
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,241
Someone should
really look into that.

245
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,114
Said her counselor!

246
00:09:57,118 --> 00:10:00,251
Riffraff of Dusty Tush,
it is time to find out

247
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,732
who is the biggest
Teddy Starr fanatic.

248
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,038
Other than me, of course.

249
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,866
Huge fan.

250
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,476
How will he decide that?

251
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,043
Maybe a fun game of
shoe trivia?

252
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:11,654
Or maybe who best rocks
a classic pair of TS-1s?

253
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:14,614
It's the banana
pants challenge!

254
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:18,226
Not even close.Not even close.

255
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,881
The two contestants must fit
a whole pile of bananas

256
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,230
into their pants,

257
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,449
then deliver a bowl of
banana pudding to me

258
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,929
across the street

259
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,323
without leaving any pants
bananas behind.

260
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,239
This is bonkers.

261
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:34,285
Is this the world
I gave up video games for?

262
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,289
Now who will be
Teddy Starr's first victim?

263
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,727
CAMPERS: Me!Let's see. You.

264
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,598
He picked me.
I can't believe it.

265
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,905
And lucky for me,
I wore my
stretchiest joggers.

266
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:48,125
So whoever I'm up against
should be very scared.

267
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:51,041
And you, super-duper
baggy pants guy.

268
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,654
Oh, come on!

269
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,003
It doesn't matter.

270
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,874
Just think about the shoes
and get to stuffing.

271
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,138
You better watch out.

272
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:03,488
I eat bananas
for breakfast.

273
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:04,794
With a little bit
of peanut butter.

274
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:10,017
Ready, Teddy, go!

275
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,812
If you think you're winning
this competition,

276
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:24,292
you're bananas!

277
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:25,772
Teddy Starr does
not appreciate puns.

278
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,077
Teddy Starr thinks
they're lowbrow.

279
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,211
[GRUNTS]

280
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:31,778
[PANTING]

281
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,649
You are the winner

282
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,564
and we'll be moving on
to the next round.

283
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,958
I won! And yet,

284
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,134
somehow standing here with
pants full of bananas,

285
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,832
I feel like I lost
something important.

286
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,576
In the case of
McBride v. Clarabell,

287
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,969
it is this court's opinion,

288
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:51,014
that your defense
is pure poppycock.

289
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,757
And that cow did not
tip herself.

290
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:56,846
Guilty.

291
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,719
And may the farming community
have mercy on your soul.

292
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,158
And now for the next item
on the docket,

293
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:06,116
the Dusty Tush
chili cook-off.

294
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,165
So many questions running
through my mind but

295
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:14,690
mostly why is the cook-off
in a courtroom?

296
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,736
This is where I like
to do my judging.

297
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:19,173
And we couldn't have it
at the rec center next door.

298
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,827
That's where they're
holding the long distance

299
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,611
frog jumping championships.

300
00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:23,655
Of course they are.

301
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:27,398
Shoot, uh...

302
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,185
Hey, Destiny.

303
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:33,013
Or should I say, Judge Baker,

304
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,537
number one fan of the
Pickett family chili recipe.

305
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,757
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
You could,
but you shouldn't.

306
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:40,542
I better go scope out
my competition.

307
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:43,023
I saw one kid carrying
a bag of oyster crackers.

308
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,589
Things are gonna get brutal.

309
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,771
Sorry, Bill, but this is
for your own good.

310
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:54,730
And everyone else's
colon health.

311
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,776
[INDISTINCT CHATTER][GLASS BREAKING]

312
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,169
[CROAKING]

313
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:03,652
Well, hot dang.
That looks like
a new town record.

314
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,265
Teddy Starr is pleased with
the lengths you Dusty Tushians

315
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,789
will go to for his sneakers.

316
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,966
And so Teddy Starr has another
fun competition for

317
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,097
you in the pink plaid

318
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:15,882
and you.

319
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,232
Yes, I'll do anything,
Teddy, anything.

320
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:21,104
I present,
the snake box challenge.

321
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,368
Nope. I'm out.

322
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,938
Whoever stays inside
longest, wins.

323
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:31,767
Come on, Noah,
think about the shoes.

324
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,943
I'm a little busy
thinking about the snakes.

325
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,946
You're not gonna
do this, are you?

326
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:41,951
Well, he did it.

327
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,649
Parker. I'm kind
of freaking out.

328
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,260
Come over here and talk
to me about those shoes.

329
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:47,522
Tell me how good
I'm gonna look.

330
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,613
Come on. Noah,
you can do it. I did it.

331
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,659
It's not the same thing,
banana pants!

332
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,183
How long do I have to
be in here for?

333
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,316
Hey, where'd the other
contestant go?

334
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,578
The snake pulled her down.

335
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,493
She's probably being
digested as we speak.

336
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,191
What?

337
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:05,845
Kidding. She quit.
You win.

338
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:12,634
I would like

339
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,418
out of this box now!

340
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,164
So I know I'm supposed
to be impartial, but

341
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:23,340
your chili smells amazing.

342
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,689
I don't know.

343
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,169
Something seems
wrong with it.

344
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,214
Watch.

345
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,001
See. This chili
pours so smooth.

346
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:34,134
My chili plops
into a bowl.

347
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,397
[SNIFFS] And where's that
burning tire smell?

348
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:38,660
Bill, relax.

349
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:39,966
This has to be your chili.

350
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:41,837
I mean, what could have
possibly happened to it?

351
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,230
I'm kidding. Don't
think about it too hard.

352
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,016
I think one of these
other yahoos heard

353
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,888
how good the famous
Pickett recipe was

354
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,499
and swapped mine out
for bad chili.

355
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,196
You're being
paranoid.

356
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,982
And you can't make wild
accusations without proof.

357
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,419
Hey, I found a pot
of chili under my desk

358
00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,768
in the judge's chambers.

359
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:01,509
Oh, look at that.

360
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,553
Proof.

361
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:04,599
Let me see.

362
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:12,563
Thick, chunky and pools
of weirdly-colored oil on top.

363
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:14,391
We're back in business!

364
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:18,047
Why do I smell
burning tires?

365
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,440
It's best to breathe
through your mouth.

366
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:23,705
Man, I really should've
used the bathroom

367
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,098
before I got on a
three-hour phone call. .

368
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:27,796
Don't think about it.

369
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:29,058
Don't think about it.

370
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,545
I don't know who you are
or what you do at this camp,

371
00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:38,589
but you are fired.

372
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,593
Hey, Lou. Where do we
keep the ethanol?

373
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,378
What? We don't
have ethanol.

374
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:47,250
AUTOMATED MESSAGE:
You have chosenespanol.
Gracias.

375
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,817
No, not espanol.

376
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,559
I'll just use
the propane tank.

377
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,387
Hey, what do you need
propane for?

378
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:54,562
[GRUNTS]

379
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,824
Stop taking
advantage of the fact

380
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,347
that I am stuck
to a hamburger.

381
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:01,525
Look,
it's Parker.

382
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,005
He made it back from
the cave with the flag.

383
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,576
Where's the
other competitor?

384
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,621
He took off when
the bear got close.

385
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,101
How close?

386
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:15,975
Uh, this close.

387
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,281
Well, on the bright side, it
looks like she got rid of that

388
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:19,326
troublesome mole.

389
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,111
Congratulations.

390
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,809
We are now down
to the top two fans

391
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,768
in all of Dusty Butt.

392
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,378
Tush.Like it matters.

393
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,119
We did it.

394
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,512
We're each getting a pair
of Teddy Starrs.

395
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,557
Second twist.

396
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,777
Teddy Starr never said he was
giving away two pairs,

397
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:36,996
just two shoes.

398
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,998
Wordplay. Now that's
highbrow stuff.

399
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,870
Wait, you're only
giving away one pair.

400
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:42,958
Which one of us
gets them?

401
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,133
Whoever wants it more.

402
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,266
So Parker and I
will have to battle?

403
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,484
Each other?

404
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:48,616
Yes.

405
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,487
Two men enter,
one man lives.

406
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,663
Only one man lives?

407
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,709
No. It just sounded better
than two men enter,

408
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,363
one man gets shoes,

409
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,625
but still,

410
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:58,843
it's gonna get spicy.

411
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:07,156
All right, folks,
it's chili tasting time.

412
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,331
I gave my stomach

413
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,290
a cornbread base
before I got here,

414
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,769
so I am ready to party.

415
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,163
Oh, can I go first?

416
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,296
You're going to die
when you taste my chili.

417
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,167
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
He's not wrong.

418
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,649
Okay, cowboy,
ladle up some bowls.

419
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,172
[CHILI SQUELCHING]

420
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:24,347
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

421
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,049
Well, that looks unnatural.

422
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,269
Hold on to your taste buds.

423
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,011
Another frog! Incoming!

424
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,056
What? Where?

425
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:39,710
[CLATTERING]

426
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,147
Oh, no!

427
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,671
While we were all looking
for that very real frog,

428
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,715
a jealous contestant

429
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,065
must have
come by and done this.

430
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,936
Oh, confounded, all!

431
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,375
Actually,
not a drop of chili spilled

432
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,638
due to its
gelatinous nature.

433
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:57,815
Yay. Mine is fine too.

434
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,384
Allow me.

435
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,736
Here goes the airplane
into the hangar...

436
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,347
Hey, I will fly my own plane,

437
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:08,478
thank you very much.

438
00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:11,742
[MIMICS AIRPLANE BUZZING]

439
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,570
No!

440
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:16,530
Hey, you just
crashed my plane!

441
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,140
I can't let you
eat this chili.

442
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,924
What are you doing, Destiny?

443
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:23,276
Bill, I'm sorry,
your recipe is terrible.

444
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,105
Like, really terrible.

445
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,411
It tastes
like a boiled diaper.

446
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:30,109
When did you
eat a boiled diaper?

447
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:34,983
Oh, I'm sure
she's just exaggerating.

448
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,424
She is not.

449
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,776
Oh!
[GROANS]

450
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,344
This does not
want to be inside of me.

451
00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:54,045
You think
my chili is terrible?

452
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,135
Thanks for the heads-up

453
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,180
before I embarrass myself
in front of everyone.

454
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:00,530
Wait, Bill.

455
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,492
Is this chili or cement?

456
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,411
For our final competition,

457
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,588
we will now
decide who gets
my new TS-19s

458
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,111
the same way my brother and I

459
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,982
used to decide
who gets the remote control.

460
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:19,245
Measured conversation?

461
00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:20,681
Tricycle jousting.

462
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,772
You guys can't do this.

463
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,339
We've come too far
to quit now.

464
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,123
Agreed.

465
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,994
It couldn't have ended
any other way.

466
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,474
It literally could

467
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:33,346
and should have
ended any other way.

468
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,222
Now, joust for Teddy Starr.

469
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,789
Ready! Teddy! Go!

470
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,748
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

471
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,142
[HORN TOOTING]

472
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:51,494
[INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]

473
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,193
[YELLING]

474
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,031
I don't want to hurt you.

475
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:08,337
I don't want to
hurt you either.

476
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:11,514
Yes!

477
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:13,081
Jake, you were right.

478
00:20:13,864 --> 00:20:15,344
TEDDY: Are you serious?

479
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,041
The only thing
that makes coming to this

480
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,913
nothing town worth it,
is forcing you people

481
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:22,003
to embarrass yourselves
for my shoes.

482
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:25,093
My friends are done
humiliating themselves for you

483
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,834
and your super-ugly shoes.

484
00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,270
[ALL GASP]

485
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:31,055
Did you just call
Teddy Starr's shoes ugly?

486
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:33,841
Jake, they're not ugly,
they're fresh

487
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,712
and unique and...

488
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,061
Actually, yeah, really ugly.

489
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,499
Yeah.

490
00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:41,849
The worst. Is that used
chewing gum on the heel?

491
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,459
Chris Pratt's
used chewing gum.

492
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:47,376
And now that
I'm saying that out loud,

493
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:51,075
I realize
these shoes are ugly.

494
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,252
Why didn't anyone tell me
these shoes were a sticky,

495
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,079
minty mess before I made them?

496
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:57,256
Probably because
they were scared

497
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,779
you'd put them in a snake box.

498
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:02,086
You are so right.
That is my move.

499
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,307
I am so sorry I put you all

500
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,918
through this
ridiculous contest.

501
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:10,878
But you three made me see
that if I want to get back

502
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:12,923
to being
a great shoe designer,

503
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:16,275
I have to redesign... in here.

504
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:20,061
That's the spirit,
Teddy Starr.

505
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:22,542
Oh, that's another thing
I need to change.

506
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:23,760
Starting now,

507
00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,719
I'm going to go
by my birth name,

508
00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:26,981
Herschel Dweebleton.

509
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,114
I mean, you ain't got
to change everything.

510
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,732
Bill, I'm sorry for lying
to you about your recipe.

511
00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:41,038
I should've just been honest
about how your chili tasted.

512
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:42,997
It's okay.

513
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,259
I'm actually more upset

514
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,174
that I failed
at such a simple tradition.

515
00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:48,959
If I can't even
follow a recipe,
what's next?

516
00:21:49,003 --> 00:21:50,309
Going to the family hoedown

517
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:51,788
and square dancing
in a circle?

518
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:54,574
How about you show
me the recipe?

519
00:21:54,617 --> 00:21:55,966
We'll make a new
batch together.

520
00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:02,408
Wait. You do realize this page
has two recipes on it, right?

521
00:22:02,451 --> 00:22:04,192
It does?

522
00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:05,672
The one on top
is the award winner.

523
00:22:05,715 --> 00:22:09,502
The one below it is a recipe
for Pickett Family hog slop.

524
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:12,026
Oh! So that's why it asked

525
00:22:12,069 --> 00:22:14,245
for eight rotten apples
and a pound of grub worms.

526
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,468
If you need me,
I'll be in the bathroom
for... ever.

527
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:25,387
Can't... wait... much longer.

528
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,998
WINNIE: Who is ready
to blow up this campfire?

529
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:30,653
No, no, no, no, no.
Do not blow up my camp!

530
00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:31,915
[GRUNTS]

531
00:22:39,532 --> 00:22:41,360
There's enough cord here
to leave the mess hall.

532
00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:45,276
Huh. That would've been
a useful discovery...

533
00:22:45,886 --> 00:22:47,583
...seven hours ago!

534
00:22:49,542 --> 00:22:52,675
Winnie, whatever
you're about to do, stop!

535
00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:55,199
[STRUMS GUITAR]

536
00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:57,245
You don't want me
to play my new song?

537
00:22:57,288 --> 00:23:01,554
Wow, Lou, I thought you were
a supporter of the arts.

538
00:23:01,597 --> 00:23:04,208
Wait. That's what
you've been planning? A song?

539
00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:06,515
What about the bear traps
and the cattle prods

540
00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:07,864
and the propane tanks?

541
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:09,518
Luckily, I got back to camp

542
00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:12,347
just in time to stop her
from doing anything dangerous.

543
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:15,089
Because I'm
a responsible adult.

544
00:23:15,132 --> 00:23:16,525
Where were you, Lou?

545
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:19,398
Don't.

546
00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:24,490
Wow, Bill,
this is really good.

547
00:23:24,533 --> 00:23:25,708
Thanks, Destiny.

548
00:23:25,752 --> 00:23:27,493
Whoever wants
some Pickett family chili,

549
00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:29,146
come line up.

550
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:30,234
WOMAN ON PHONE:
Howdy hoo,
this is Sally Sue.

551
00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:31,497
How can I help you?

552
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:32,889
Oh, yes. Finally.

553
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:34,543
We've got spicy and mild.

554
00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:36,197
So let's get
a second line going.

555
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,633
Copy that. We'll install

556
00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:39,026
a second line
at your service address.

557
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:41,115
Thanks for your business,
toodle-oo.

558
00:23:41,158 --> 00:23:42,812
[LINE DISCONNECTS]

559
00:23:45,946 --> 00:23:48,818
Great news, everyone,
we have a landline.

560
00:23:50,907 --> 00:23:52,256
What's a landline?

561
00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:54,258
It's for churning butter.

562
00:23:58,349 --> 00:24:00,351
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]