Wow.
So you really bought the famous Moose Rump moose rump.
Sure did.
Yet the good medical supplies were too expensive.
I never thought I'd see a butt hung
in the mess hall in my lifetime.
Brings a tear to your eye.
Do we have to hang it here, where we eat?
And right above the fudge nuggets?
If it were up to me, I'd move all butt-based art
away from poop shaped food.
Well, excuse me if I don't listen to you,
considering the way you ran this camp while I was gone,
you are still in the dog house.
Oh! I think I did pretty okay.
You thought Matteo was lost in another dimension.
Science can't prove he wasn't.
-He was with me. -And you are not science.
Lou, if you are going to hang a moose part where we eat,
which you shouldn't, why not the head?
Well, because nobody knows where it is.
Legend has it that the head that goes along with this rump
was stolen from the local "Mooseum" years ago.
Besides, do I look like I've got moose head money?
Yo, Lou, what's with this weird old book?
That's not a weird old book.
That is the Great Book Of Woodchuck,
containing the most sacred traditions of Woodchuck cabin.
Although Jed did weave the binding
with his own back hair. So it's a little weird.
Information I would have loved to have
before I picked it up.
Lou realized we didn't have a Woodchuck
initiation ceremony for Ava last summer.
So we're finally going to give her one
when she gets back from visiting her spa.
I mean, her parents.
Wow. I never knew there was so much
that went into being a Woodchuck.
Yeah, it's not for the weak.
It's more of a... Grizzly Cabin thing.
Hey, that's not fair.
Noah, I just hiccupped and pulled a muscle in my shoulder.
Can we take nap time early today?
Okay. It's a little fair.
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
I'm so excited for Ava
to become an official Woodchuck.
Also, question.
How many Woodchucks did a wood chopper chop
to make the Woodchuck cape I'm holding?
Eh, don't worry.
It's mostly made of Jed's back hair.
And by the way,
the Woodchuck initiation's been canceled.
What? But I've been practicing for the shouting
of compliments ritual all day.
And I can't wait to tell Ava,
"She sings like an angel!"
That is part of the problem.
Junkyard Judy filed another noise complaint against us.
Who's Junkyard Judy?
She owns that junkyard that borders the camp.
She's always complaining about how loud we are.
She's the reason our sing-alongs
have been changed to whisper-alongs.
And I am really tired of singing...
♪ If you're happy and you know it
♪ Keep it down ♪
Why didn't you tell me about this?
If you'll let me, I can totally win Judy over.
Oh, ho, ho, Destiny.
Nobody wins Junkyard Judy over.
We are in the middle of a good old-fashioned feud here.
The only way it ends is if one of our descendants
falls in love against our family's wishes.
We can also just talk to her.
Tsk. Destiny.
You don't just talk to Judy.
She's... Oh, how shall I put this delicately?
Um, a heinous anger gremlin.
Lou, I promise we can get Judy to like us.
Fine, but I'm telling you, this isn't going to work.
The Woodchuck should just accept that we've done
our last traditional pot clanging,
dancing, cleansing scream.
Wait, are we the bad guys here?
Oh. Hey, Parker. There you are.
I was just about to head down to...
Are you gonna play tetherball by yourself?
Hey, to be the best, you gotta beat the best.
Anyway, I have a list of things I need you to do.
Finally, some real responsibility.
Uh, you'll have to forgive me, Lou.
I don't have much experience with this,
but it looks like you accidentally
handed me a list of, what do you call them, "cho-res"?
They're called chores, rich boy.
And it wasn't an accident.
Hatch up leaky canoes,
clean the windows of the mess hall?
Don't you have any big, important things for me to do.
Like what about my double-decker bunk bed idea?
For the last time,
bunk beds are already double-decker.
And by the way, you need to have
everything on that list finished by the end of the day.
Otherwise, you're staying in the dog house.
I can't finish this by tomorrow.
There's 21 things on this list.
Oh. Well, I guess you better try.
Maybe knock out one of the harder ones first.
Like number 13.
Unclog Grizzly Cabin toilet?
There's a reason why I made it number 13.
Why?
Grizzlies, something's bugging me.
I told you to cut all the tag-side of your sweaters.
No, I did that, and it changed my life.
But, I meant, it's just not fair that Woodchuck Cabin
has so many cool rituals and traditions, and we don't.
They have a salute, an initiation, and a smelly mascot.
Yeah, the only smelling mascot we have is Finn.
Uh, and he's killing it.
Hey, guys. I hope your day's going better than mine.
We're kind of bummed the Grizzlies don't have
a bunch of bonding activities like the girls.
So you're basically looking for a list of things to do?
Not just things.
Things that will help us form a lifelong sense
of camaraderie and interdependence.
Yes.
And I, too, understand all of the big words that Matteo's saying.
Parker, why are you walking around with a plunger?
What? This isn't my going out plunger.
I better go put it back.
Looked pretty fancy to me.
I'm telling you, this is never gonna work.
It's a feud as old as time,
like the Hatfields and McCoys,
or orange juice and toothpaste.
Just watch and learn.
Who are you?
Why, thank you for asking.
My name is Destiny.
And we're from Woodchuck Cabin at Camp Kikiwaka.
Well, that's why we don't call her Reasonable Judy. Come on, let's go.
Hi, Judy, was it?
I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Here is a little peace offering from us to you.
Pickled otter paws.
I see you didn't spring for declawed.
You're our neighbor, not the Queen of England.
Hey, have you all heard a door slam part two?
If you liked the first one, you'll love the sequel.
Well, we should consider ourselves lucky.
Back home, this is the part of the feud
where the pitchforks come out.
Hey, guys, look what I found in the camp archives.
It looks like the Great Book Of Woodchuck.
But this is the Ye Old Book Of Grizzly.
How could I not have seen that before?
Not to brag, but I do spend a lot of time by myself in the archives.
Was misfiled in the sports section.
Oh, that's why.
And look what's inside.
Ooh, I know this one.
Words.
"The 21 tenets of the Grizzly.
"A list of service-based Grizzly Cabin traditions."
We were just talking about
wanting something like this.
How weirdly convenient.
Right? It's a list of bonding exercises specifically for Grizzly Cabin.
There's a lot of them, though.
Are you sure you're up for them?
Of course.
What are we waiting for?
Let's forge new links of fellowship
and interpersonal attachment.
Yes. Those are the things that are good which we want.
Parker, are you in?
You are our honorary Grizzly, after all.
Aww, thanks, guys.
All right, enough chitchat.
First tenet reads...
"Rising tides lift all boats, but a Grizzly cannot bond
"if the bottom of his canoe be not bonded."
Hmm.
I wonder what that could mean.
Well, lots of our canoes have holes in them.
It must mean
we should patch them up and work together, so we don't sink.
Huh. What an unexpected and fascinating interpretation.
Come on, fellas, let's go make some canoes legally seaworthy.
Camaraderie is the best.
And I also know what's going on.
What is this?
Hi, neighbor.
It looked like you could use some help organizing.
And we Woodchucks are always happy to lend a hand.
So what do you think?
What do I think?
I think you ruined everything.
Okay.
In pageants, I always charm the judges most during the Q and A portion.
So, let me tell you what being an American means to me.
You put the hubcaps next to the broken toilet seats.
They're supposed to be scattered on top of the doll heads.
I have a system.
This is probably a bad time to tell you,
but you have otter fur in your teeth.
Lugnut!
Nice doggy.
Aw! Nice doggy.
Sic her.
I'm sorry I touched your toilets.
Let's see. The next tenet says...
"Grizzlies must see into the eyes of other Grizzlies.
"Eyes are the windows of the soul,
"and windows are the windows of windows."
Well, that sounds like we should clean the mess hall windows.
It does?
If you want to see into Matteo's soul,
he has a diary he thinks I don't know about.
Hey, those are private feelings and bird drawings.
Try reading the next tenet. Maybe it'll be more clear.
"The prey of the Grizzly must be pure.
"Feast not upon the aged salmon, but upon the fresh,
"or at least the less old."
Okay, that one's just gibberish.
And this is coming from a guy who pretends to understand Shakespeare.
It is tricky, but I think it means we need to make sure
there's no expired food in the fridge.
Hey, maybe if we split up, we could finish them quicker.
Uh, it's going to be pretty difficult to bond if we split up.
Or will it be easier?
No, I think it's the thing I said.
My head's starting to hurt.
Let's just go clean windows.
Parting is such sweet sorrow...
I think. I really don't get that guy.
Did you just huck a big old book into the bushes?
Uh, yeah. Chore 18 on the list.
Pest extermination. So I threw a book at a possum.
If it didn't finish him off,
perhaps he'll take this chance to better himself.
Well, just remember, you have until the end of the day
to get out of the dog house.
Everyone who knows me knows I'm tough but fair.
And love arbitrary deadlines.
Well, I can see, Gwen hasn't been making her bed, hm.
This is an old checklist.
Whoa! What happened to you?
I give up.
I tried to kill Judy with kindness,
and she tried to kill me with an angry poofball.
Okay, now she's gone too far.
You mess with one of Mama's campers,
and Mama is going to mess with you.
Okay, Are you Mama in this scenario?
Yes, I'm Mama. This is my tough voice.
Well, sign me up for the feud.
I guess I'm not as charming as I thought I was.
I mean, what do I have left now,
besides beauty, brains and talent?
You forgot modesty.
But don't worry. When we're finished with Judy,
she will wish she had never met us.
She already wishes that.
It is just something people say.
Come on, guys. No time to rest.
We gotta finish these tenets by the end of the day.
Why?
You asked a good question, Finn.
Plowing ahead.
"The Grizzly shines his light upon the camp,
"banishing darkness wherever it lurks."
This one must mean...
Exactly. It means we need to swap out all the burned out bulbs around camp.
Ancestral Grizzlies, you're crazy.
How does that make sense?
Light bulbs were invented after the book was written.
Yes, uh, the Grizzlies of all, truly were ahead of their time.
Anyway, I'm gonna go grab some fresh bulbs.
I feel so close to you all right now.
Something isn't right.
I know. Let me see this thing.
Hey, after the 21 tenets, all the pages are blank.
So, no ending?
Jeez, even Matteo's boring diary wraps up with a nice poem about friendship.
Uh, what's that?
This is a list of all the things we've been doing.
And it's titled "Chores for Parker
"to get out of the dog house."
Does that mean raking the leaves on the great lawn meant nothing to him?
All right, listen to this.
How many Grizzlies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Okay, I know what you're thinking.
The bare minimum. Yes!
Okay, I know what you're thinking.
And I'm really sorry.
I just... I needed help
with Lou's insanely long chore list.
So you made a fake book?
How did you even do that? It looks so real.
Well, first I aged the pages under a heat lamp.
Then I watched an online leather tanning series for the cover.
And lastly, I hired a calligrapher to write out the 21 tenets.
It would have just been easier to do the chores, man.
Or you could have asked us to help you.
We would have done it.
But instead, you took advantage of our Grizzly family
to get what you needed.
Yeah, Parker, there's no "I" in Grizzly Cabin.
Actually, there's two, Finn.
Parker, there's two I's in Grizzly Cabin.
But now there's not a "U".
Okay, Lugnut.
Mommy's going to the store.
See you in 20 for yoga.
Boop.
Okay, now's our chance.
Quick, give me the treat to distract Lugnut with.
Then we'll glue all of Judy's junk together in one big junk hunk.
Yes, my pants will have their revenge.
Oops, this isn't my purse.
This is my doll head bag.
She's coming. Quick, hide!
I can still see you.
Usually, hiding is a whole body thing.
There's something in here.
Hey, what are you doing?
I could ask you the same question.
No way!
The Mooseum's missing moose head?
Anything you want to tell us, Judy?
Did you take it?
You can't prove it's the same one.
It says "property of the Mooseum" on the back.
Dang it! I never should have gotten that label maker.
It's addictive!
Well, now that you know, what are you going to do about it?
Well, we could keep it quiet.
Oh, I see.
How many doll heads is this going to cost me?
Just leave the camp alone.
No more noise complaints against Kikiwaka.
Never.
I'd sooner throw away all my broken toilet seats.
Well, I guess we'll just have to turn you in.
Fine. Go ahead.
After all, it wouldn't be the first time you Woodchucks try to ruin my life.
What did you mean by that?
Better question...
Where are all the doll bodies?
Hey, there.
Come on. You guys are still mad at me?
Still, it's only been like an hour.
We're kids, not fruit flies.
And what you did was emotionally distressing.
Yeah, and it hurt our feelings.
After we invited you to be a Grizzly.
That's not how you treat family.
You haven't met my family.
The Prestons don't ask you for help.
They trick you into helping them.
One time, my sister fooled me into giving her my android butler
so she could strip him for parts.
You have an android butler?
Had, Matteo. Keep up.
You guys have never been that way with me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't even think just to ask you for help.
Maybe I should start acting less like a Preston and more like a Grizzly.
That is, if the Grizzlies will still have me.
Of course we will.
And the offer stands.
If you need help finishing Lou's chores,
we're still willing to lend you a helpful paw.
Thanks. That means a lot.
But I'm gonna finish the rest on my own.
And first, we should fill the Ye Old Book Of Grizzly with some real traditions.
Ones we make together.
I think that's a great idea.
Me, too.
Man, I can't wait to read about this moment in Matteo's diary later.
I liked it better when you hated books.
Well, I'm here, but I don't know why.
If you're gonna turn me in, I'd rather wait at my dump instead of this one.
This place is not a dump.
It was briefly used as a dump in the '80s. Read a book.
Look, we wanted to ask you about what you said earlier.
It seems like you don't like our camp
because of something the Woodchucks did to you.
Can you tell us what it was?
Why do you want to know?
Because you seem really upset.
And instead of trying to charm you or prank you,
we should've just tried talking to you.
So now we are.
Well, if you really care.
When I was a teenager, I went to Camp Kikiwaka, too.
I was in Honey Badger Cabin.
Ooh, if the snarl fit...
But what I really wanted was to be a Woodchuck.
Those girls seemed so cool.
And they told me I could actually join them.
All I had to do to be initiated into their cabin
was prove myself...
by stealing the moose head from the Mooseum.
That isn't part of the Woodchuck initiation.
I know, they lied.
When I got back to camp with the head,
they said they were just messing with me.
They were never going to let me be a Woodchuck.
They just wanted to see if I would actually do it.
I was really hurt.
I just wanted to be accepted so badly.
Oh, I am so sorry you were treated that way.
Thank you.
But it wasn't your fault.
I shouldn't have taken my feelings out on the camp.
And I know stealing is wrong, so go ahead, turn me in.
I'll go quietly.
Just promise me someone will feed my doll heads when I'm gone.
Okay, fine. We won't turn you in.
You were tricked by a cruel joke into making a mistake.
It could have happened to anyone?
Really? You mean it?
Absolutely. I mean, who among us
hasn't coveted a well-done piece of moose taxidermy?
It was rhetorical.
I was making a point.
Judy, I never should have let this turn into a feud.
-We were in a feud? -Apparently, a one-sided feud.
But I happen to know the director of the Mooseum.
And I'll see to it that the head
is anonymously returned to its rightful owner.
But not the moose.
That ship has sailed.
Wow.
This place has really changed since I was here.
I would have loved to have been Woodchuck with you two.
Well, maybe you still can.
For real? Wait.
You're not going to have me steal something crazy like a moose butt, are you?
Nah.
We already got one of those.
I'll give you 50 doll heads if you steal it.
Grizzly Cabin. Grizzly Cabin. Uh, Parker?
So, what you got there?
Oh, this is nothing.
Just a traditional bear onesies
and a ritual spirit fire. You?
Hmm. Ancient relic and a sack full of carved totems.
-Cool. -Cool.
So I'll assume that since you're having a blast doing...
This...
That must mean that you've completed all the items on the list I gave you.
Not quite. But I will finish them in the morning.
Tonight, me and the boys are creating some new Grizzly Cabin traditions.
Come on, Parker.
We can't finish forging the bonds of our friendship
until you drink this goblet full of squirrel's blood.
Be right there.
Don't worry. It's expired tomato juice.
Hey, Lou.
Whoa! What's that?
That is Parker getting out of the dog house.
Grizzly Cabin. Grizzly Cabin.
This wood represents the bond between Woodchucks.
Like our bond, the wood is strong.
Unlike our bond, the wood is wood.
What does that mean?
So many things.
You don't have a clue, do you?
Nope.
And now, with the ceremonial chucking of the wood,
we proudly welcome the newest honorary Woodchuck
and friend, Junkyard Judy.
You guys call me Junkyard Judy?
No.
Yes.
Would a genuine mounted moose rump
smooth this over?
It's time. The kids were taking problematic selfies.