Morning, counselors! Quick, probably unpopular announcement.
Here on the ranch, you won't just counsel campers,
you'll also do ranch chores.ALL: Aw!
Oh, hush up or you're going to the hoosegow!
Is that too much?
Just trying something. Please continue.
Alex, you're on cow duty, which means picking up cow doody. Classic.
Also, a herd of elk have infiltrated the boat shed,
so we need someone to scare 'em off.
Theo, you take that. You're expendable.
I mean, good at stuff!
And Noah, as for you...
Lou, may I please be excused from my ranch chores today?
Oh, sure. I'll just tell the goats to hold their milk till tomorrow.
It's just I need to focus on being a counselor.
I still haven't gotten through to my new camper, Bill.
I thought you said he'd started to open up.
He did, but now he's sneaking off into the woods
during free hour and not telling me where he's going.
He's keeping secrets from me, Lou.
Do you think he's seeing another counselor?
Noah, you are more than enough for any camper.
Thanks, Lou.That was not a compliment. You can go.
For my assignment, I want a really challenging job
that allows me to prove I can be an amazing, dependable counselor.
I'll even notify Theo's next of kin if you want.
I've done it before.
Blowing past that.
I have the perfect chore for you.
Shaquille O'Veal needs branding.
Uh...
Really? You want me to brand a cow?
Well, you said you wanted a more challenging job. Are you up for it or not?
Um...
Of course I am!
Consider it done!
Well done.
As for the rest of you, you're excused.
Not you, Parker.
I have the perfect job for you.
Tonight, there's gonna be a "Welcome to Dusty Tush" party right here on the ranch.
Wow! The town's throwing us a party tonight?
Well, technically, we're throwing the party,
but we're welcoming them to welcome us.
Isn't that kind of like throwing your own surprise birthday party?
No, I've done that before. It's much worse.
Tonight is all about celebrating the wonderful newcomers, us,
and I'll be giving an amazing speech
about how much we love and appreciate the history of this ranch.
That'll win over those Dusty Tushians.
Tushers... Tushites...
What is my life now?
Well, count me in.
I can't wait to roll up my sleeves and start helping out with...
Hey, what am I doing exactly?
'Cause if I don't like it, I don't wanna.
Your job, whether you like it or not, is to go to the local museum
and learn all you can about the history of this ranch so I can put it in my speech.
Oh, and, um, you'll be taking Winnie with ya.
The kid with the suitcase full of explosives? Why?
We have to keep her occupied.
I overheard her earlier saying she wants to "ride a bird".
ALL: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
Ooh, nice design, Sophie.
And amazing work, Aidan.
That fish and lure is sure luring me in.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, it didn't work when I practiced in the mirror, either.
Hey, Bill. We missed you today.
Earlier, I asked if you would come to my class,
you enthusiastically said, "Yes!"
Aw, honest mistake.
I enthusiastically said "Pass."
Oh. Wait!
What were you doing in the woods during your free hour anyway?
You know, cowboy stuff.
Ooh! Like what?
Stuff that cowboys do.
Okey doke, you don't wanna talk about it,
we don't have to talk about it.
Just kidding! We have to talk about it.
Look, I know you have this loner persona thing going on,
but, just let me know.
Were you up to anything dangerous?
Nope.Good.
Because as a counsellor, it's my job,
nay, my duty,
nay, my secret oath to protect you, to keep you safe, so...
Ouchie!
Fishhooked the hand!
[GROANS]
Uh-oh!
I've lost all credibility.
"Rock or bison poop."
Well, that sounds like a weird game.
Hmm. What do you get if you win?
I'm guessing a rock.
And if you lose?
You heard the name of the game, right?
Ooh, those look dangerous.
Come to Winnie!Don't touch that!
Marshal? What are you doing here?
It's The Marshal, and I wear a lot of hats in this town.
Including curating this museum, making commemorative coins,
And this hat! Just for fun.
So, what brings you two in today?
Lou asked us to get some details about the town's history
for her "Welcome to Dusty Tush" party tonight.
So, she's new in town, but she's welcoming us?
No, she's welcoming the town to welcome us to welcome...
You know, I don't know! I just work there.
Well, if you're looking for info about Dusty Tush, you came to the right place.
That was like that when I got here.
You okay, Destiny?
I'm super stressed.
Lou told me I have to brand Shaquille O'Veal.
What's branding?
It's where you heat up a piece of iron with the ranch's logo on it.
Then you press it on an animal and it sears the design into their flesh.
Yikes!
Definitely not "Rated T for teen."
I don't know what to do.
I wanna prove to Lou that I'm a dependable counselor, but not like this.
Wow. Being a counselor sounds complicated.
although being a camper is, too.
I can't decide if I should go to the lake, or take a nap.
Talk about stress.
I'll stop.
Hiya, Bill!
Holy horse buggy!
What were you doing in the woods this time?
Come on. Can't a camper leave the ranch and spend hours alone
without a counselor asking where he's been?
No!
Hey. How about a game of horseshoes?
If I get closer to the stake than you,
you have to tell me what you've been doing in the woods.
Okay. What if I get closer?
Um, you can tell me to do something ridiculous, and I'll do it.
It's like Western truth or dare,
but I will not eat a relish sandwich.
Boundaries.
Fine by me. Get ready to look ridiculous.
Boy!
I was born ridiculous.
I'll work on my trash talk.
Yeah! That's gonna be tough for you to beat!
Wow! That was super easy for you to beat!
Oh. I forgot to mention. I'm really good at this game.
Been known to win even with the horseshoe still attached to the horse.
Well, as a casting director once said, after he heard me use my Cockney accent,
"This was a mistake!"
Listen, you wanna back out? It's all right by me.
No! I gave you my word,
and if a man doesn't have his word, he has nothing.
Then I dare you to dunk your head in the horse trough.
On second thought, words aren't that important.
Fine. But when I come back, we're going again.
[WATER SPLASHING]
I like this game.
This is boring!
I thought you said we were going to play a game.
We are! We're playing who can sit on their hands the longest
and you're winning!
There's a bunch of stuff in these archives about the ranch.
First, there was a gold rush encampment in 1867,
but, it turns out there was no gold.
Then, it became an old-timey rest stop that sold buffalo nuggs.
Ugh! What are nuggs?
It's unclear, but hard pass.
Then, the land became a ranch with, like, 20 different owners
until the Marshal's family bought it decades ago.
Then he sold it to Lou.
Hmm, that's weird.
I wonder why it changed hands so many times.
You history buffs have any questions?
Mister, uh, The Marshal,
we're curious why the land had so many owners before your family bought it.
Oh, you had to ask, didn't you?
I knew this day would come.
But, no time to tell you now.
You kids should hit the trail.
Wait a second.
There's something you're not telling us.
Start talking or I'll let Winnie loose
on your historical muskrat salt shakers.
And I like to juggle.
Okay. The ranch is cursed!
BOTH: Cursed?
Truth is, Dusty Tush Ranch is haunted.
And not just by any ghost.
This ghost is the spirit of an angry Angus. called Old Abigail.
Wait. So it's the ghost of a cow?
Is there also a baby panda in the attic rattling chains?
About 150 years ago, after the last wagon train headed out,
Abigail got left behind!
She never forgave humans for separating her from her herd.
Ever since, she's haunted the owner of the camp.
The owner of the camp? That's Lou!
On a full moon, you'll hear the distant clang of a cow bell.
Then suddenly, all the milk at the ranch will go bad!
Like, just the skim, or the full fat too?
Somewhere, a cow will fall to remind you Abigail is there.
And finally, a bone-chilling "Moo!"
By then, it's too late.
The owner of the land is done for.
Okay, so if the place is cursed,
why wouldn't you warn Lou before you sold it to her?
You think she would still buy the property
if she knew it was haunted by an unholy heifer?
Well, probably, but she might have asked for a ghost discount!
Oh, no. It's a full moon tonight.
We've got to warn Lou.
I don't believe a word of this.
There's no such thing as a curse or a ghost cow.
That's exactly what my brother said.
Now I'm an only child and I have trouble sharing.
So, how do we save Lou?
There is only one way, but it will require you to be absolutely fearless.
Oh, I am. You saw me playing with that antique chainsaw earlier, right?
No! I didn't.
Yeah. You really shouldn't let kids in here.
Okay, I'll tell you how to defeat that curse.
That was like that when I got here.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Hey! How's the branding thing going?
He asks like a good friend.
I can't tell Lou I don't wanna brand Miss O'Veal,
because then she'll think I'm not a good counselor.
Ah! So you're gonna have the cow brand herself!
Nope, that doesn't make sense.
I'm gonna show Lou these brand designs
that are actually subtle anti-branding messages.
When she sees them, she'll realize branding the cow is wrong,
and I'm off the hook.
This is a crying cow. So sad.
This is me crying. How awful!
This one just says,
"Lou, please don't make me brand this cow. Love, Destiny."
I don't think this one would even fit on Miss O'Veal's butt.
Ugh! This is never going to work.
I'm doomed.
Actually, the cow is doomed.
But sure, let's make this about you.
Okay, I finished your last dare.
Come on, Noah.
Just quit. I've already made you jump in the lake with your shoes on.
You rolled around in mud.
You also made me run around the mess hall with a bag on my head,
saying, "I'm Noah with a bag on my head!"
"I'm Noah with a bag on my head!"
Well, I won't quit.
I need to find out what you're up to in the woods.
So, if it's the last thing I do,
I will beat a preteen at a physical activity!
I did it! I got it around the stake, I got a ringer!
Hey, hey... Oh! There's hay everywhere.
Don't celebrate yet.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
Man, I should have gone pro.
That's it! I quit!
I can't do any more ridiculous things.
I guess I'll just have to live out my days never knowing the truth.
My last thought as I lie on my deathbed will be,
"What was Bill doing in the woods during his free hour?"
Yup. It's been hard for both of us.
Has it?
Okay. If an identifying mark is all this cow needs,
maybe Lou will be happy with this.
Please, tell me Lou will be happy with this.
I think she'll totally go for it!
Really?Not a chance.
LOU: Hey! Make sure you rinse off those canoes.
Oh, no! Here comes Lou.
She's gonna see you didn't brand the cow!
Sure. That's a long-term solution.
Um, Destiny. Why is there a tablecloth over Miss O'Veal?
Usually, the tablecloth goes under the beef.
Uh, she was cold.
She was shivering, like...
Moo, hoo, hoo!
So, how's the branding going?
Uh, going great, boss!
Everything is under control.
All will be revealed later.
Oh, yay! I haven't had a good cow-based surprise in years.
That was some sweet 16.
The look on my face when Connie the calf jumped out of that cake...
Priceless.
Wow.
Have you thought about writing a memoir?
I have, actually.
Then you should start on it right away while the idea is fresh in your head. Have fun!
Bye! [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Okay, so that was close.
What are we going to do about...
Where is Miss O'Veal?
Don't tell me she ran away!
Can you blame her?
[IN SING-SONG VOICE] Things got awkward.
Okay. We're gonna do what the Marshal told us to and break this curse.
But to be safe, we should warn Lou anyway.
Winnie, the curse isn't real.
[BELL DINGING]
Did you hear that? It's Abigail clanging. She's coming!
A cow bell on a ranch? The stuff nightmares are made of!
You know, we could do without the attitude, sir.
It's Lou!
Now, that's the kind of enthusiasm I like.
How are you two doing with the research for the party tonight?
Well...Actually...
Oh, this milk is awful! The fridge must be broken.
See? The milk's gone bad!
It's just a coincidence. He also said a cow would fall
and I haven't seen that happen.
[THUDS]
Okay, that just happened!
Oh, that was a portrait of my childhood best friend.
And before you say it, yes, most my friends growing up were cows.
Lou, the ranch is cursed.
You have to cancel the party and leave immediately.
You are going to a lot of trouble to avoid doing research.
No, we did research,
and we found out there was a ghost cow named Old Abigail,
who haunts the ranch every full moon and seeks vengeance on the owner!
We also picked up an adorable mug,
But back to the headline, you're doomed!
Trust me, I'm not in any danger.
And I'm not leaving camp or canceling the party tonight.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare my speech.
[GULPS] Aw, dang it, I forgot!
Still going to take it with me, though.
Looks like we have no other option.
Do what the Marshal told us to do?
Yup.
I sure hope this plan saves Lou. She's my only job reference.
And a good friend.
You okay?
Oh!
Look who suddenly cares about what's going on with someone else!
Well, whatever you did in there smells really bad.
Well, I swallowed some trough water, and it's warmed my insides, okay?
Well, you wouldn't have had to stick your head in there
if you hadn't challenged me to that game.
Well, you could've just told me what you were doing in the woods.
Well, why do you wanna know so bad?
Well, because I care about you!
Well, that's really touching!
Are we in a well-well?I can't stop!
Oh, wait. I think we're good now.
But, seriously. I didn't know you cared that much.
I thought you were just being nosy.
[SIGHS] I really want you to have a great camp experience.
And I thought if I got to know you better, I could give you that.
I admit, I am hard to get to know.
But it was nice spending all that time together.
For me, too. Look, I understand that you're a private person.
So from now on, I'll give you your space.
I'll wait until you come to me.
Please come to me.
I'm gonna tell you something.
But you have to promise never to bring it up again.
I promise. If I'm lying, let me be cursed
that I have scene partners who don't act with their eyes.
Trust me, they're the stages of the face!
If you really wanna know, when I was in the woods, I was...
[SIGHS] Learning to tie my shoes.
What?Don't make me say it again!
I've only ever wore cowboy boots.
Now that I'm at camp, I want to try out sneakers like the rest of you greenhorns.
I just can't figure out how to tie those wily suckers!
That's okay.
No, it's not. It's embarrassing.
I'm almost a teenager.
I can get those "bunny ears, bunny ears" to jump into the hole
but they won't pop out the other side beautiful and bold!
Bill, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
This is something I could help you with. That's what counselors are here for.
Counselors are there to help you tie your shoes?
Maybe not specifically, but we're here to help you work through your problems.
Don't worry. Together, we got this.
Thanks, Noah.
And seriously, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Everybody's got something. I still have all my baby teeth.
My thing is weirder than your thing, isn't it?
Yup.
Welcome, everyone, to our welcome party.
I know I feel welcome.
If you search for Dusty Tush online,
first, turn your safe search on.
And then you'll see that Dusty Tush is so many things.
A welcoming community full of history,
home to the largest frying pan in Southern Wyoming.
The dictionary defines "tush" as...
[COW MOOS]
Well, I've been booed, but I have never been mooed.
PARKER: It's Abigail! The cursed cow approaches.
WINNIE: Lou! Run!
Abigail, we're here! Your herd is back!
You can stop the curse, Abigail.
We are definitely cows, and not people dressed up like cows.
[COW MOOING]
I put Parker in charge of the problem child, I deserve this.
You're free now, Old Abigail!
Moo-ve toward the light.
[LAUGHING]
What a couple of fools! You look ridiculous.
What are you talking about?
Don't you hear Abigail mooing in the distance?
She's here. She came for Lou.
No, that was me mooing, you silly city slickers!
The curse ain't real!
It's an old Dusty Tush wives' tale,
Which they should really change the name of,
'cause it's Darla's husband spreading it around!
What's this now?
[CHUCKLES] It's a little prank we like to play on newcomers,
and ooh boy, you two fell for it hard.
Oh, wait. How would you know the milk would go bad?
Oh, that fridge had a warranty that ended last week.
And that cow picture that fell off the wall?
Wait, a cow really fell?
Ha! I went out on a limb with that one!
Love it when things work out!
Wait, so why did you tell them that fake scary story?
Oh, relax!
Who hasn't welcomed new neighbors
by scaring the living bedingles out of them with a phony ghost cow?
Nobody does that.
Next time, just send a gift basket.
[COW MOOS]
What was that?
[BELL CLANGING]
It's a ghost cow! The curse is real!
Everyone, run for your lives!
[ALL SCREAMING]
Well, that's one tush that isn't dusty.
There you are!
And Lou too! Yay!
Parker. Winnie. You're looking well.
You know, I realize we didn't go over the do's and don'ts
of handling livestock, but whatever this is
seems like an obvious "don't".
I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't brand Miss O'Veal!
I know, I asked for a difficult job. But I'm not up to this.
I guess I'm not as dependable as I thought.
Destiny, why are you so upset? This job seemed right up your alley.
You are the perfect person to come up with Miss O'Veal's social media brand!
Her social media brand?
Yes! Obviously!
This girl's got what it takes to be our camp's spokescow!
With her as our celebrity influencer, there will be a stampede of new campers.
See what I did there? You can use that!
Okay. There was a teensy misunderstanding.
When you said "brand", I thought you meant...
[HISSES]
Moo! [SCREAMS]
You thought I wanted you to brand her?
Oh, it does sound similar. Whoopsie.
I love a good French farce.
I know. I messed everything up and ruined your party.
Eh, it was mainly the Marshal.
But I'm not gonna pretend this doesn't please me immensely.
Hey! You guys should take a photo with Miss O'Veal.
This will go viral in, like, two minutes.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
Now that's how you brand a cow!
Spin the lasso, round and round. Loop it through, then...
BOTH: Pull it down!
You did it!
Yeah, I did! Thanks, Noah.
You're the best shoe-tying coach I've ever had.
Of course, the other one was Randall by the creek, but still, best is best.
Thanks! Let's take those bad boys for a spin!
That's right! You're bad.
Actually, you kind of look like a cat wearing socks.
This feels weird. My arches are getting full support, and I don't like it.
Well, at least now you have options.
Yeah. But can we take these cushy clouds off now?
I need to slip into something more uncomfortable.
Man! Those tootsies are hard to please!
[BELL CLANGING]
[MOOS]