1
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:05,266
Hey, Jake, I have
a special delivery for you.
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,355
A cardboard box?
3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,010
Nice!
4
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,228
There's probably
something in there.
5
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,709
No way. Double nice.
6
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:18,453
Oh, man, and it's from
my best friend, Gamerboy2841.
7
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,672
He didn't use
- his real name?
- Oh, Lou.
8
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,631
Real names are so 2019.
9
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:29,116
Bill, your issue
of Rancher Monthly magazine
came in, and so did mine.
10
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,682
You get Rancher Monthly too?
11
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,902
Did you read that article
about organic manure?
12
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,034
[GASPS]
13
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,210
Changed my life.
14
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:41,128
And I have mail
for you, too.
15
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:44,522
And a magazine called
Poutine Digest.
16
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,002
Sweet!
17
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,004
Ironically, poutine is nearly
impossible to digest.
18
00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:49,788
It's the curds.
19
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,054
Noah. I have
something for... Finally!
20
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,272
You're welcome.
21
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,101
Check it out.
It's my new head shots
22
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,537
for my first ever
starring-role credit for
23
00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,409
Dino Camp Diaries, Part One.
24
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:04,629
Very optimistic of them
to think there will be
a part two.
25
00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:08,764
Man.
26
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,809
Even with Dino Camp,
my credits list
is still way too short.
27
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:14,117
I wonder if the Dusty Tush
theater scene has something
I can audition for.
28
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:15,553
A theater? I want to go.
29
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:17,729
Whoo. Do I sit
before a fellow thespian?
30
00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:21,385
What? No. I'm hoping
they might need
a pyrotechnician.
31
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,431
I'm trying to be good,
but a girl can only go so long
32
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:24,954
without shooting flames
out of a cannon.
33
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:27,957
I'm so glad
you're Destiny's problem.
34
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:38,446
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
35
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:46,497
[CHUCKLING]
36
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,673
Hey, what's
so funny?
37
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,849
Oh, we're taking Rancher
Monthly's Personality quiz.
It's a hoot.
38
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:52,199
What's it called?
39
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:55,158
"Find out what tractor model
defines you."
40
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:57,769
Next question.
41
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,206
"When it's time
to feed the herd,
42
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,077
"what type of grass
do you reach for?"
43
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,907
A, alfalfa, B, rye,
or C, Bermuda grass?
44
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,822
- [SCOFFS] Bermuda grass.
- BOTH: Alfalfa.
45
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,258
Right. I meant alfalfa.
46
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,696
Hey, I'm second
in command around here.
47
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:12,828
I think it's important
I learn
48
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,395
more about
this ranching stuff.
49
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:15,613
Will you two teach me?
50
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:17,267
Seriously?
Even you have to admit,
51
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:21,750
you're not exactly
the... outdoorsy type.
52
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,795
But you said
you want this to be a place
53
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,406
where people can learn
how to ranch.
54
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:26,450
Yeah. Kids.
55
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:27,712
Not ex-trust fund babies,
56
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:28,844
who up until recently wanted
57
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,150
to go to beatboxing college.
58
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:34,328
So is that a...
[BEATBOXES] yes?
59
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,113
Fine.
60
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,246
If only to stop him
from beatboxing.
61
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,291
[BEATBOXING]
62
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,865
Looks like Main Street's
getting a new store.
63
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,607
WINNIE: The Armadilla
Sarsaparilla Shop-ay?
64
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,609
It's pronounced
"shop," little girl.
65
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,828
The added "PE"
makes it fancy.
66
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,787
[GIGGLES]
You said "pee."
67
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,092
I do not like you.
68
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,313
May I interest you
in free samples?
69
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,796
This stuff is delicious.
70
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,493
I always knew
I liked you.
71
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,410
The Marshal, do you know
of any local acting gigs?
72
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:17,327
Well, there really isn't
a theater scene in Dusty Tush.
73
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,982
Uh, but it's in the works,
like our hospital.
74
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:22,376
You have a Spurbucks
but not a hospital?
75
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:28,033
Actually, I do know
of one acting job in town.
76
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,038
How exactly is this
an acting job?
77
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:37,391
You're gonna act as Sassy,
a sarsaparilla armadillo,
78
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,783
and hand out coupons
79
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:41,264
until my shop's
grand opening
in a few days,
80
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:44,049
where you'll be
the star of the show.
81
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,355
Or whatever.
82
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,054
The star. I like
the sound of that.
83
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,404
Winnie,
what do you think?
84
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,362
[BELCHES]
85
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,147
I think I love Sarsaparilla.
86
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,280
Super helpful.
87
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,286
Hey, Jake.
88
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,853
Did someone
send you an atlas?
89
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,900
Yeah, but why would
Gamerboy2841 send me
boomer GPS?
90
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:12,469
Well, thanks for visiting.
Bye now.
91
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,080
Jake. Give it.
92
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,956
[SIGHS] A laptop and headset?
93
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:23,088
Jake, you know
you're not supposed
to have this.
94
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,090
You haven't played
video games in weeks.
95
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,657
You can't start again now.
96
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,225
I swear I didn't know my buddy
was sending me this stuff.
97
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,401
It's just nice
to hear from him.
98
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:32,924
I miss my online friends.
99
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:35,536
Especially Gamerboy2841.
100
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,233
He knows the real me.
101
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,714
Well, not the real me
because security.
102
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,237
But the real avatar me.
103
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:44,327
Look. I get that
you miss your friends.
104
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:47,722
But your parents gave Lou
very specific instructions.
105
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,419
No video games.
106
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:53,771
Fine. I guess that's it
for me and my best friend, Gamerboy2841.
107
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,556
You don't even know
his real name.
108
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,340
But I know his heart.
109
00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:00,648
Well, not his "heart" heart
because security,
but his avatar heart.
110
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:07,045
Where's Parker?
These rancher lessons
were his idea.
111
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,699
I'm not so sure
about this.
112
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:09,961
Hey, guys.
113
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,442
I'm less sure
about this.
114
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,924
I wanted to dress
like a real rancher.
115
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,665
You never told me
what to wear.
116
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,710
Well, to be honest,
I kind of wanted to see
what you'd show up in,
117
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:22,322
and, uh,
you did not disappoint.
118
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,933
Well, I'm going to take that
as a compliment.
119
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:28,284
Despite your little tone.
120
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,461
Change into something
more comfortable
and functional. Like us.
121
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:34,725
What? This suit
is comfortable
and functional.
122
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:35,987
Functional, huh?
123
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:39,339
So you'd have no problem
picking up that stick?
124
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,384
[SCOFFS]
No problem at all.
125
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,090
I don't think I want to.
126
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:57,095
Parker? Would you like
to go change into
some looser pants?
127
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,620
I am going
to change these pants.
128
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,709
But only 'cause I'm not
feeling this color today.
129
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,151
What are you doing
back here?
130
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,196
Quality control.
131
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,113
Ah, this one's good.
132
00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:17,986
Oh, sorry.
133
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,596
I wasn't paying attention.
134
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,294
I was really into this
Sci-fi Fun Times article.
135
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,645
Wait, you read
Sci-fi Fun Times, too?
136
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,603
Uh, yeah.
137
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,824
I'm only video store employee
who knows anything
about science fiction.
138
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,434
You'd be surprised
by how many people lie
139
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,697
on their applications
about being a true nerd.
140
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,005
You work
at a video store?
141
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,528
[SCOFFS] Marry me.[CHUCKLES]
142
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,183
- What?
- What?
143
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,188
Oh, I said uh,
me, Noah.
144
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:47,842
Nice to meet you, Noah.
145
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,800
Me, Megan.
146
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:55,763
I've never flirted before,
but I'm pretty sure
this isn't how you do it.
147
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,244
Can you believe
this new soda shop?
148
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,333
What terrible people.
149
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:05,337
Terrible? Huh, well,
that's an interesting word.
Please elaborate. [CHUCKLES]
150
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:09,864
Didn't you hear?
They use real armadillo sweat
in their sarsaparilla recipe.
151
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,909
Wait, what?
That's messed up.
152
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:15,913
Right? That sweat belongs
to the poor armadillos
to do with as they please.
153
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:19,439
Oh, I was thinking more
of the grossness factor,
but, yeah. That too.
154
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,876
Anyone who works
at that shop
155
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,660
has armadillo sweat
on their hands.
156
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:26,533
Huh, well, the sweat
on my hands
is definitely all mine.
157
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:27,577
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
158
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,101
Well, I better
get to work.
159
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:33,888
We don't get many customers,
but people do come in
to use the bathroom.
160
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,411
Strongest hand-dryer
in the state.
161
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:39,284
Hopefully
I'll see you around.
162
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,286
[LAUGHS] Well, hopefully,
I see you first,
163
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,288
just in case I'm doing
something you don't like.
164
00:07:47,205 --> 00:07:49,294
Ew, Winnie.
Didn't you hear?
165
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,905
Those drinks are made
from armadillo sweat.
166
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,297
That's what makes them
so salty.
167
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:55,083
[SIGHS] True love
isn't perfect, Noah.
168
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,215
It's the imperfections
that make it beautiful.
169
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,309
Watch your step.
170
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,137
And...
171
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:07,182
Surprise!
172
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,272
You're actually gonna
let me play?
173
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,883
No. But I know
you miss your friends,
174
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,756
so I'm going to let you talk
to them over the headset
175
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,540
while I play for you.
176
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,020
I don't know.
177
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:21,762
This is a pretty tough game
for a non-gamer. No offense.
178
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,373
I'm responsible
for Wild Winnie Weber.
179
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:25,853
I think I can handle it.
180
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,419
By the way,
where is she?
181
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:28,464
Oh, well.
Let's play.
182
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,861
Yo, Gamerboy2841.
What's up, man?
183
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,254
Oh, I missed you, too.
184
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:38,909
Ooh, look at you.
Has your avatar
been working out?
185
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:44,088
I exploded.
Is that good?
186
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:45,916
My bad, Gamerboy.
187
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,657
Guess I'm
kind of rusty.
188
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,833
This was a bad idea.
Maybe we should call it.
189
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,531
Uh, no, look,
I'm getting
the hang of it.
190
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:56,448
Yes, I exploded
the thingy
with the thingy,
191
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:58,102
and I won the thingy.
192
00:08:58,146 --> 00:08:59,408
This is actually
pretty fun.
193
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:02,193
Right? But make sure
to ice your thumbs tonight.
194
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,108
They're not gonna like you
in the morning.
195
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:13,204
Come one, come all,
to our grand opening tomorrow.
196
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,120
This hurts.
I played Hamlet.
197
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,124
Oh. Let me know
if you see Megan
come this way, okay?
198
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,691
I don't want her
to know I work here.
199
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,911
Okay, good.
Because I hear
all the best relationships
200
00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:25,173
are built on lies.
201
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:32,484
Get your fill of
Armadilla Sarsaparilla!
[EXCLAIMS]
202
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,529
What?[SCREAMS]
203
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,750
This awful shop
has a mascot?
204
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,796
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
How do you sleep at night?
205
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,146
I'm assuming
it's some sort of ball?
206
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,714
I won't rest
until this whole town
207
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,803
sees you guys
for who you really are.
208
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,589
And tomorrow,
I'll be the one
leading the protest,
209
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,808
you armadillo
sweat-stealer.
210
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:53,767
Ooh. That's good.
211
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,290
That's going
on a sign.
212
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,601
Oh, hey, I think
that was Megan.
213
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,124
You think?
214
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,520
Okay, rancher lesson
number two, roping.
215
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:09,696
All right,
let's get started.
216
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,222
Hold your horses, partner.
Take a step back.
217
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,266
Watch the pros.
218
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,664
Whoa!
219
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,188
I believe the word
you're looking for
is "yee-haw."
220
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,931
Love your technique.
221
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,672
What's with
the extra knots
in your rope?
222
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,632
Tricked it out,
just like the original
Bill Pickett used to.
223
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,068
That's so cool.
224
00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:35,852
Can you teach me
how to tie my lasso
like that?
225
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,419
I'm not sure
you're quite ready
226
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:40,509
for my great-great
grandfather's advanced
roping techniques.
227
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,467
You're still learning
how to put on
the right pants.
228
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:45,470
Let's see
what you got, newbie.
229
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,391
I threw the wrong end,
didn't I?
230
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,048
[GRUNTS]
231
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,267
Does that count?
232
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,228
[GRUNTS]
233
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,273
[CLANGS]
234
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:09,930
Does that count?
235
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,326
All right.
Well, the weathervane
is back on the roof,
236
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,503
but apparently,
the wind is blowing "Snorth."
237
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,984
And we're done here.
I think these lessons
were a bad idea.
238
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,594
But we're just
getting started.
239
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,466
I'm sorry, Parker,
but I think
I was right earlier.
240
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,860
I'm just not sure
you have what it takes
to be a real rancher.
241
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:29,340
Yes, I do.
I know I can learn.
242
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,255
Look at me.
I'm already wearing
looser pants.
243
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,648
Check out
these lunges.
244
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,698
What if that weathervane
had fallen on a real cow?
245
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:42,005
[SCOFFS] We'd be
having barbecue
for dinner. [CHUCKLES]
246
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:47,532
What? Since when do we not eat
real cows around here?
247
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:53,713
Ah, ah!
248
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:55,192
There's my Sassy.
249
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,368
Hey, you hand out
all those coupons?
250
00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:00,981
Uh, I don't have any more
'cause my printer
ran out of cyan.
251
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,332
The Marshal, I quit.
252
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,768
Excuse me?
253
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:08,031
The... The grand opening
is tomorrow.
254
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,380
You can't quit.
255
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,731
I'm sorry,
but if Megan
finds out I'm Sassy,
256
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:12,993
I'll have no chance with her.
257
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:14,908
[SIGHS]
258
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,648
Well, I understand.
259
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:19,564
Far be it for me to stand
in the way of love.
260
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:22,306
Of course,
261
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,352
if you do decide
to quit,
262
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:28,051
I might feel compelled
to tell your lady
friend the truth.
263
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,271
That you've been
Sassy all along.
264
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,489
[GASPS]
265
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:32,795
You wouldn't.
266
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,188
I would.
267
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,630
Whoa! Were you up
playing all night?
268
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:45,329
Of course not.
There was a patch
fix update from 3:12 to 3:15.
269
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,333
Okay. Mind if I talk
to my buddies?
270
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,553
No can do.
I was playing
with your friends earlier,
271
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:52,859
but I had to ditch them.
272
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,209
Their predilection for mercy
was holding me back.
273
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,386
You're getting
a little intense.
274
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,823
Maybe we should
get some fresh air.
275
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,957
And some eye drops.
It looks like you haven't
blinked in hours.
276
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,744
Ugh. Get off my back,
Blinky43, or I'll blast you
back to the start menu.
277
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,355
Oh, you are
way past eyedrops.
278
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:14,141
Before you go, mind holding up
that power shake
so I can take a sip?
279
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,581
Destiny?
280
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:20,930
What's that bucket for?
281
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,628
Don't be naive, Jacob.
I'm on my seventh shake.
282
00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,587
You know exactly
what that bucket's for.
283
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:37,251
Why is there a horse
in front of my mess hall?
284
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:41,211
Because...
I put him there.
285
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,605
Why is there a Parker
on top of my mess hall?
286
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,477
I'm gonna prove to you both
287
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:50,003
once and for all
that I do have what it takes
to be a rancher.
288
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,266
I'm gonna jump off
this balcony,
289
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:54,877
and onto that mighty steed.
290
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:58,272
Did we forget
to explain to him
what a rancher is?
291
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,970
Cowboys do it
in movies all the time.
292
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:04,147
You never see
any of their friends
questioning their abilities.
293
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,498
Yeah, because
they're stunt cowboys.
294
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:09,631
You are just
a weirdo on a balcony.
295
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,069
You need
to get down.
296
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:15,898
Even if you do land
on the horse, you could
fall off and hurt yourself.
297
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,379
A rancher fears nothing.
298
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,120
Except for maybe
bigger ranchers.
299
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,429
Anyways, watch me
nail this landing, buckaroos.
300
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:26,474
Don't do it!
301
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,476
[GASPS][GRUNTS]
302
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,089
He did it.
303
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:35,135
[HOARSELY] Yup.
Didn't hurt at all.
Everything feels fine.
304
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,659
And you stayed on.
305
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:38,834
That was amazing.
306
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,444
We've got to go
tell everyone.
307
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,403
Yeah. You guys go
sing my praises without me.
308
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,318
I'm just gonna
chill here.
309
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:46,407
Don't be silly.
Come with us.
310
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,888
No, I'd rather not.
I can see the parking lot
from up here. It's beautiful.
311
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,282
Parker?
312
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:53,849
Why won't you
come down
off that horse?
313
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,286
You see, Lou,
314
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,549
a rancher and his horse
share a special bond.
315
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,203
Glued your butt
to the saddle,
didn't you?
316
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,378
Sure did.
317
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,991
Parker, what were
you thinking?
318
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:09,125
I was thinking I'd do anything
to have my so-called teachers
believe in me.
319
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,518
I wanted to learn
how to ranch.
320
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,824
But clearly, I came
to the wrong people.
321
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,304
And another thing...
322
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,958
You know, I have more
to say on this subject,
323
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,351
but I guess
I'm on his journey now.
324
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,490
Is Sassy ready
for the big grand opening?[SCOFFS]
325
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,666
He's ready
for it to be over.
326
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:31,321
After today, I'll finally be
in the clear with Megan
and my secret will be safe.
327
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:32,366
What secret?
328
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,369
Oh, uh...
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
329
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,502
My secret is,
I don't know
the capital of Wyoming.
330
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,026
It's Cheyenne.
331
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:43,290
Phew! I've lived
with that shame
for far too long.
332
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,856
Anyways,
what's up, girl?
333
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,947
Well, I can tell you feel
the same way I do
334
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,210
about The Marshal stealing
all that armadillo sweat.
335
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,386
So...
336
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,518
Do you want to come
to the protest today?
337
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,216
- With you?
- Yeah.
338
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,870
And maybe after,
we can get some takeout
339
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,960
and watch a sci-fi movie
at the video store.
340
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,613
How does that sound?
341
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,528
Well, it kind of
sounds like a date.
342
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,052
Good.
That was my intention.
343
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:07,792
Oh.
344
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,056
Then yes.
Yes to everything
you just said.
345
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,232
And pre-yes
to all your
future suggestions.
346
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,191
[CHUCKLES] Good.
Keep that in mind
347
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,150
when I order bananas
on our pizza tonight.
348
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,239
See you later.
349
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,851
Dude.
What were you thinking?
350
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,158
Oh, I just figured
I could eat
around the bananas.
351
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:29,292
No, I mean,
how are you gonna dress up
as an armadillo
352
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:30,685
for the big grand opening,
353
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,948
while at the same time
protesting it with Megan?
354
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,906
That may have
slipped my mind.
355
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,952
Oh, no. What am I gonna
do here, Winnie?
356
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,693
Uh, also,
I'm having a crisis
357
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,434
and that hat is
very distracting.
358
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,877
Hey, give that back!
359
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,923
I can't abandon my squad.
We've been friends
for, like, a whole 15 minutes.
360
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,797
If you want it,
just walk over here
and take it.
361
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,103
Fine.
362
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:01,933
Huh.
363
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,066
What happened to me?
364
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:07,330
You've been sitting for hours,
so your legs fell asleep.
365
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:08,723
It's called
gamer leg.
366
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:10,333
I've been there.
It's humbling.
367
00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,815
Maybe I do
have a problem.
368
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:14,946
You know,
369
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,687
I was just like you,
370
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:20,952
spending all day,
every day by myself,
caught up in the game.
371
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:22,911
But you won't believe
what you missed today.
372
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,740
Noah started selling coupons
to sweaty armadillos
373
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:28,264
and Parker glued
a horse to the balcony.
374
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,353
I'm gonna need
to fact check all of that.
375
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,052
But you're right
about the game.
376
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,228
It can really
suck you in, huh?
377
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,794
Only if you let it.
378
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,144
I miss my online friends.
379
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,277
But ever since
I got here,
380
00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,453
I haven't really
missed technology.
381
00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:44,846
I'm just enjoying camp.
382
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:48,371
You're wise
beyond your years, friend.
383
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,505
Would you... help me outside?
384
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:02,994
The sun feels warmer
than I remember.
385
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:07,216
Jake, will you do
something else
for me?
386
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,261
Anything.
387
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,827
Will you empty
my gaming bucket?
388
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,090
I will not.
389
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,531
Hey, bud.
390
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,795
Are you reading
Poutine Digest?
391
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:22,318
Yeah.
392
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,929
Poutine Digest
has never made me feel
left out.
393
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:27,889
Poutine Digest
has always believed in me.
394
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:32,154
Look,
we owe you
an apology.
395
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,156
We were more worried
about showing off
396
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,940
than we were
about being
good teachers.
397
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,160
But everybody
has to start somewhere.
398
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,161
Yeah, well,
399
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,641
I get how it can
be frustrating
400
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,077
teaching someone new.
401
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,731
You guys have
always been good
at this stuff.
402
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,689
[CHUCKLES]
That is not true.
403
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,517
You should have been there
when I first learned
how to milk poor Bessie.
404
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:50,172
My parents had to
drink their coffee black
for a week.
405
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,348
And it took me longer
than I care to admit
406
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,655
to tell the difference
between manures.
407
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,135
[WHISPERING]
It's all in the texture.
408
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:00,835
See? Bill and I
were beginners once, too.
409
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,967
And we promise
to be better teachers
410
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,360
and help you
learn the ropes
411
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,928
if you're willing
to give us
another chance.
412
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:08,799
Fine.
413
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:12,412
I can't stay mad
at... [BEATBOXING] you.
414
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,503
I thought we agreed
to let the beatboxing die.
415
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,766
The beat never dies.
416
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,028
[BEATBOXING]
417
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,945
Fine, I'll let it die.
418
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:33,172
Psst, The Marshal
- is looking for you.
- He is?
419
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,653
My stars, Megan,
would you look at that?
420
00:19:36,697 --> 00:19:38,220
Our protest signs
have typos!
421
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,440
I'm just gonna go
fix them real quick.
Okay. Bye.
422
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,139
About time!
423
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,359
Sassy goes on
in five!
424
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,275
Megan's looking for you.
425
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,754
She thinks
you ditched
the protest.
426
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:51,973
What? No!
427
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,150
Sassy has to...
428
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,501
uh, tinkle.
429
00:19:58,545 --> 00:19:59,937
Or something
less embarrassing
than that.
430
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,200
Be right back.
431
00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:08,468
There you are.
Can I have the signs?
432
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:12,428
Oh, I'm an outgoing Gemini
with a Virgo rising.
433
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,605
Oh, those signs.
Yeah, I'll be right back.
434
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,174
Where is Sassy now?
435
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,393
I'm beginning to think
436
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,438
he had to go
[WHISPERS] number two.
437
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,354
I'm sure
he'll be back soon.
438
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,964
He better,
439
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,358
because I'm fixing
to tell that girlfriend
of his the truth.
440
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:30,794
No, don't do that.
441
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,318
I'll get Sassy
on stage right now.
442
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:35,277
I'll be back
for that.
443
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:40,151
- I found the signs.
- Just in time. The show is starting.
444
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,545
It is? How?
445
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:47,376
How come you seem
so much shorter
than before?
446
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,509
WINNIE: Acting!
447
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,294
Good enough for me.
448
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:55,993
Welcome
to the Armadilla
Sarsaparilla Shoppe.
449
00:20:56,037 --> 00:20:57,560
[CROWD CHEERING AND BOOING]
450
00:20:59,214 --> 00:21:00,911
Too bad
for you booers.
451
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:02,391
I'm numb
to criticism.
452
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,263
Now...
453
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:06,352
I have a real special
treat for y'all.
454
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:08,571
So, please
put your hands together
455
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:12,575
for Sassy,
the Sarsaparilla Armadilla.
456
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,360
[CROWD CHEERING AND BOOING]
457
00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:16,449
Who is that?
458
00:21:16,492 --> 00:21:18,451
Yeah, who are you?
Show yourself!
459
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,844
I'll never
take off this costume
460
00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:22,498
unless I get hungry.
461
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:23,673
Purr-purr!
462
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:26,197
Winnie?
463
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:28,199
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
All right, Sassy,
464
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:30,811
it's time for the
Sarsaparilla shuffle!
465
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,770
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
466
00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:44,694
What are you doing?
467
00:21:44,738 --> 00:21:46,696
Covering for you.
Go back to your date.
468
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:50,265
That's really nice.
Thank you.
469
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,354
Well, save it.
Megan's watching.
470
00:21:52,398 --> 00:21:54,878
I'm supposed to be
your worst enemy,
remember?
471
00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:56,576
Oh, uh, right.
472
00:21:56,619 --> 00:21:57,620
Take that, Sassy!
473
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:01,102
Come on, everyone.
474
00:22:01,494 --> 00:22:02,756
CROWD: Boo!
475
00:22:04,018 --> 00:22:05,062
Okay, guys,
476
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:06,455
I think
we made our point.
477
00:22:06,499 --> 00:22:08,370
And who knows,
maybe there's a good
person in there
478
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,111
who's really nice
to their friends.
479
00:22:11,286 --> 00:22:12,505
You know what,
you're a great guy,
480
00:22:12,548 --> 00:22:14,811
but you're really bad
at moral outrage.
481
00:22:15,769 --> 00:22:18,206
CROWD: Boo!
482
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:23,516
That's enough!
483
00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:26,606
[MUSIC STOPS]
484
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:30,131
Thanks.
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
485
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:32,612
How do armadillos
not sweat all the time?
486
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:35,615
Noah, what's going on?
487
00:22:36,572 --> 00:22:37,486
The truth is,
488
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,619
Winnie isn't
the real Sassy.
489
00:22:39,662 --> 00:22:41,577
I'm the one who's been
playing Sassy all week.
490
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:43,753
So, you should all
boo me, not her.
491
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,189
Great idea!
492
00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:46,408
Boo!
493
00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:47,496
CROWD: Boo!
494
00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:49,542
Everyone, stop!
495
00:22:49,585 --> 00:22:51,370
Noah may have
sold out to the man,
496
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,110
and sided
with big sarsaparilla,
497
00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:54,938
but standing up
for your friends
498
00:22:54,982 --> 00:22:55,983
is just as important
499
00:22:56,026 --> 00:22:57,593
as standing up
for armadillos.
500
00:22:57,637 --> 00:23:00,161
That girl is a pain
in my patootie,
501
00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:01,423
but she's got moxie.
502
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,079
Megan, I'm really sorry
503
00:23:05,122 --> 00:23:06,472
I didn't tell you
the truth.
504
00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:08,125
The reason
I didn't want you
to know
505
00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:09,388
I was Sassy is,
506
00:23:10,345 --> 00:23:12,782
well, I kind of
have a crush on you.
507
00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:14,654
Well, that's no excuse
for lying.
508
00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:18,571
But I kind of
have a crush on you, too,
509
00:23:18,614 --> 00:23:20,224
as long as
you're really done
with The Marshal
510
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:21,443
and his awful shop.
511
00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:22,792
I promise
512
00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:24,141
Winnie and I
will never drink
another bottle
513
00:23:24,185 --> 00:23:25,839
of Armadilla
Sarsaparilla again.
514
00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:29,538
Winnie?
515
00:23:29,582 --> 00:23:32,367
What? It's hot
in this costume.
516
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,803
Also, I have a problem.
517
00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:38,460
And fine, y'all win.
518
00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:40,897
I can't fight
the whole town.
519
00:23:40,941 --> 00:23:43,465
From now on,
Armadilla Sarsaparilla
520
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:46,947
will be 100%
armadillo sweat-free.
521
00:23:46,990 --> 00:23:48,644
- Yay!
- Whoo!
522
00:23:50,603 --> 00:23:51,691
I suppose
523
00:23:51,734 --> 00:23:54,389
salt is a good enough
substitute anyway.
524
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:55,651
Salt was an option?
525
00:23:55,695 --> 00:23:57,566
That should have been
your Plan A, man!
526
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,962
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]