1 00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:12,967 Your pal ran into your old flame the other day... 2 00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:15,436 - Who? - Angie. - Who? Oh. 3 00:00:15,469 --> 00:00:17,471 - She was actin' different. - How was she's acting different? 4 00:00:17,538 --> 00:00:19,640 I don't think you wanna know how she was acting different. 5 00:00:19,707 --> 00:00:20,875 Wait. 6 00:00:23,544 --> 00:00:25,112 Now, was she acting different 7 00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:27,248 like I think she was acting different? 8 00:00:27,281 --> 00:00:29,950 She was acting different exactly like you think she was acting different. 9 00:00:29,984 --> 00:00:32,486 Oh, cripes! So, she was acting different just like-- 10 00:00:32,553 --> 00:00:34,722 She was acting different like somebody who's gone traveling 11 00:00:34,755 --> 00:00:36,424 for the first time and then come home 12 00:00:36,457 --> 00:00:38,159 and is acting different. 13 00:00:38,225 --> 00:00:40,294 ALL: Ugh! 14 00:00:40,327 --> 00:00:41,295 Is there anything worse? 15 00:00:41,328 --> 00:00:42,596 Still born puppies... 16 00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:43,998 and nothing else. 17 00:00:44,065 --> 00:00:45,733 This might be the worst case I've ever seen. 18 00:00:45,766 --> 00:00:47,168 ALL: Ugh. 19 00:00:47,234 --> 00:00:48,669 (English accent:) So, she's speaking 20 00:00:48,736 --> 00:00:50,304 with a bit of an accent then, Dary? 21 00:00:50,337 --> 00:00:52,840 She came home speaking with a wee bit of an accent then? 22 00:00:52,907 --> 00:00:54,675 (English accent:) Is it now like every statement ends 23 00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:56,610 like it's a question then, Dary? 24 00:00:56,644 --> 00:00:59,413 Everything she says is like it's a fucking question then, innit? 25 00:00:59,447 --> 00:01:00,681 - Innit? - D'you know what I mean? 26 00:01:00,748 --> 00:01:03,651 She using words like cheeky and bugger? 27 00:01:03,684 --> 00:01:05,519 Why, you cheeky bugger, then, Dary. 28 00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:06,987 Oi, Dary, you cheeky bugger, 29 00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,956 I haven't seen you in bloody minute, 'ave I? 30 00:01:08,989 --> 00:01:10,591 - Haven't I! - Has she gone mad? 31 00:01:10,624 --> 00:01:12,359 - Is she knackered? - Do y'know what I mean? 32 00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:15,329 Is she saying things to you like, "Cheers, ring me, yeah?" 33 00:01:15,362 --> 00:01:17,198 (Regular voice:) No, she did not say "ring you". 34 00:01:17,264 --> 00:01:18,866 (English accent:) D'you know what I mean? 35 00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:20,201 (English accent:) Are you bothered? 36 00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:21,702 - I'm not bothered. - Aren't you? 37 00:01:21,769 --> 00:01:22,870 - Innit? - Do you? - Don't I? 38 00:01:22,937 --> 00:01:24,205 - Do we? - D'you know what I mean? 39 00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:26,140 So, she watches TV on the telly then, yeah? 40 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,543 Yeah. And her apartment is now referred to as her flat, yeah? 41 00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:31,045 And instead of waiting in line, 42 00:01:31,112 --> 00:01:33,214 she's waiting in the queue now, yeah? 43 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,483 She's waiting in the queue for the tube now, yeah? 44 00:01:35,516 --> 00:01:37,885 She's waiting in the queue for the pub now, yeah? 45 00:01:37,952 --> 00:01:41,322 waiting in the queue at the pub for a pint then, yeah? 46 00:01:41,355 --> 00:01:43,958 - D'you know what I mean? - Now, has she done 'Eye-beetha'? 47 00:01:43,991 --> 00:01:45,993 Yeah, Dary, has she done 'Ih-Beetza'? 48 00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:48,896 - 'Oi-beefa'. - Has she done 'Bah-tha-lowna'? 49 00:01:48,963 --> 00:01:51,065 Yeah, Dary, has she done 'Bawf-a-rowna'? 50 00:01:51,132 --> 00:01:53,234 - 'Baw-tha-luna'. - 'Biffininna'. 51 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:56,003 - D'you know what I mean? - Has she done 'Buda-pesht'? 52 00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:57,872 Yeah, Dary, has she done 'Shrlanka'? 53 00:01:57,905 --> 00:01:59,473 Is she 'Shr-Lankan'? 54 00:01:59,507 --> 00:02:01,175 Has she done 'Mel-bun'? 55 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,844 Not 'Mel-bern' because it's pronounced 'Mel-bun'. 56 00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:05,212 - 'Mel-bun'. - D'you know what I mean? 57 00:02:05,246 --> 00:02:08,015 And she only watches foreign features now, yeah? 58 00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:10,251 It's like, did she stay off the beaten path 59 00:02:10,317 --> 00:02:12,419 or did she go to where it's touristy, right? 60 00:02:12,486 --> 00:02:15,422 Cuz you don't wanna go to where it's too touristy, d'y'know what I mean? 61 00:02:15,489 --> 00:02:19,426 All she's done is hostels and backpacks and Kiwis! 62 00:02:19,493 --> 00:02:22,696 - The BBC. - It was like she photographed in, 63 00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:25,065 like, a cage with, like, a sedated tiger, innit? 64 00:02:25,099 --> 00:02:28,536 I've written a bloody travel blog, haven't I. 65 00:02:28,569 --> 00:02:29,837 The BBC 3. 66 00:02:29,870 --> 00:02:31,772 And it's like did she get a little shlog, 67 00:02:31,839 --> 00:02:34,241 get a little fix, if she's a little fit, innit. 68 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:36,277 It's like, there is comedy and then, 69 00:02:36,343 --> 00:02:38,445 there is British comedy, you fucking bell-end. 70 00:02:38,512 --> 00:02:40,614 It's like them Yanks sew the Canadian flags 71 00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:43,250 up on their backpacks what when they go backpackins 72 00:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,419 cuz, you know, everyone loves them Canadians, yeah? 73 00:02:45,452 --> 00:02:48,455 I've hand rolled me cigarettes, haven't I! 74 00:02:48,522 --> 00:02:50,624 ALL (Regular voices:) Pull your finger outta your ass! 75 00:02:50,691 --> 00:02:53,260 (Theme music playing) 76 00:02:58,532 --> 00:03:02,536 (Electronic music playing) 77 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,377 ♪ 78 00:03:14,114 --> 00:03:15,983 ♪ I've been there, done that, messed around ♪ 79 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:17,952 ♪ I'm having fun don't put me down ♪ 80 00:03:17,985 --> 00:03:21,589 ♪ I'll never let you sweep me off my feet ♪ 81 00:03:21,622 --> 00:03:23,657 ♪ I won't let you in again ♪ 82 00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:25,426 ♪ The messages I've tried to send ♪ 83 00:03:25,459 --> 00:03:29,730 ♪ My information's just not going in ♪ 84 00:03:29,763 --> 00:03:31,665 ♪ Burning bridges shore to shore ♪ 85 00:03:31,732 --> 00:03:33,467 ♪ I'll break away from something more ♪ 86 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,171 ♪ I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap ♪ 87 00:03:37,238 --> 00:03:39,139 ♪ Been there, done that, messed around ♪ 88 00:03:39,173 --> 00:03:41,275 ♪ I'm having fun, don't put me down ♪ 89 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,911 ♪ I'll never let you sweep me off my feet ♪ 90 00:03:46,981 --> 00:03:51,285 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 91 00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:55,022 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 92 00:03:55,089 --> 00:03:58,759 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 93 00:03:58,792 --> 00:04:02,296 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 94 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:06,767 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 95 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,170 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 96 00:04:10,204 --> 00:04:14,642 ♪ This time, baby, I'll be... ♪ 97 00:04:14,675 --> 00:04:18,545 ♪ Bulletproof ♪ 98 00:04:18,612 --> 00:04:21,482 ♪ This time... ♪ 99 00:04:24,618 --> 00:04:25,853 - How're ya now? - Good 'n you? 100 00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:27,221 - Not s'bad. - Where was yous? 101 00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:28,856 Goin' scorched Earth, boys. 102 00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:30,658 - Had me a date. - Well, how'd it go, Katy-Kat? 103 00:04:30,691 --> 00:04:32,059 Almost not worth talkin' about. 104 00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:33,560 Swing, batta batta! 105 00:04:33,627 --> 00:04:34,728 And the old boy strikes out. 106 00:04:34,795 --> 00:04:36,030 And the side retires. 107 00:04:36,063 --> 00:04:37,564 More like stunk out. 108 00:04:37,631 --> 00:04:40,868 - Is that what he did? - The dude was... ripe. 109 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,336 - Is that what he was? - Bit spicy. 110 00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,838 - Like... an odour? - A smell. 111 00:04:44,872 --> 00:04:46,307 Well, type of dude who smells like 112 00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:47,841 he wants to be left alone, eh? 113 00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,143 Well, how bad? 114 00:04:49,176 --> 00:04:50,744 - Y'know Schmellies? - Can confirm. 115 00:04:50,811 --> 00:04:52,313 - Take that. - 'Kay. - Now double it. 116 00:04:52,346 --> 00:04:53,914 - Hm. - So you skedaddled ? 117 00:04:53,981 --> 00:04:55,983 Well, if you smell gamey, you ain't gonna lay me. 118 00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:57,651 - Well... - If you want to hit a base, 119 00:04:57,685 --> 00:04:58,919 at least air out the place. 120 00:04:58,986 --> 00:05:01,755 - Fair. - Not fair. 121 00:05:01,822 --> 00:05:03,590 What if, like me, 122 00:05:03,657 --> 00:05:07,027 his smells are something of an occupational hazard? 123 00:05:07,061 --> 00:05:08,729 And that's nothing to feels ashamed about, Dary. 124 00:05:08,762 --> 00:05:10,397 Some smells just stick. 125 00:05:10,431 --> 00:05:12,433 Well, if you're married to your fuckin' barn clothes, yeah. 126 00:05:12,499 --> 00:05:14,368 I made a commitment to date local 127 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:17,705 and I expected a few coarse edges, but still wash. 128 00:05:17,738 --> 00:05:18,706 You gotta wash. 129 00:05:18,739 --> 00:05:19,940 You gotta Walla Walla Washington. 130 00:05:20,007 --> 00:05:21,408 You gotta George Washington. 131 00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:23,277 You've gotta George Washington Carver. 132 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,611 - Carver? - Hardly knew 'er. 133 00:05:24,678 --> 00:05:27,781 Yeah, that dude didn't wash. First date, too. 134 00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:29,783 A first impression's a lasting one. 135 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,185 - Well, to be fair... 136 00:05:31,218 --> 00:05:32,586 - To be fair. - To be fair. 137 00:05:32,619 --> 00:05:33,954 To be fair, 138 00:05:34,021 --> 00:05:35,456 another way of looking at the situation is that, 139 00:05:35,522 --> 00:05:37,291 perhaps, the stress of it being a first date 140 00:05:37,358 --> 00:05:39,393 is precisely what caused that unfortunates aromas. 141 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,129 - Yeah, the nervous sweats. - Yous two are soft on crime. 142 00:05:42,196 --> 00:05:43,897 - It happens. - It always happens. 143 00:05:43,931 --> 00:05:45,232 Have you met devil's advocate Dan? 144 00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:46,767 - (Scoffing) - Okay, well, 145 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,969 the nervous sweats are better than the meat sweats. 146 00:05:49,036 --> 00:05:50,804 Oh, could've very easily have been the meat sweats. 147 00:05:50,871 --> 00:05:51,939 No, that's an old wives tale. 148 00:05:51,972 --> 00:05:53,140 No, it isn't. 149 00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:54,308 Meat sweats is a real phenomenon 150 00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:55,776 or something like a phenomenon. 151 00:05:55,809 --> 00:05:57,244 The Swedes did a study on it. 152 00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:58,979 Bet the Swedes hammer a lotta meatballs, eh? 153 00:05:59,046 --> 00:06:00,614 - Swedes probably hammer the most meatballs. 154 00:06:00,647 --> 00:06:01,949 - Yous are meatballs. 155 00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:03,550 One trip to IKEA and everyone's a fucking expert. 156 00:06:03,584 --> 00:06:06,387 What if it was the vintage tee sweats? 157 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,088 - What? - Well, what's say you buy 158 00:06:08,122 --> 00:06:09,456 a tee shirt at a vintage store. 159 00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:11,325 Some other nut sack, or nut sacks, 160 00:06:11,392 --> 00:06:12,993 have previously owned and worn the tee shirt, 161 00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:15,596 and they have perspired in it, and then, 162 00:06:15,629 --> 00:06:18,999 when you perspire, their stink rises to the top. 163 00:06:19,066 --> 00:06:21,301 - Ugh... - Pretty gnar, but here we are. 164 00:06:21,335 --> 00:06:23,670 - Pretty Paul Gross. - If you're nauseous, be cautious. 165 00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:26,306 D'you wanna know what? I don't care if it's the nervous sweats 166 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:29,009 or the meat seats or the vintage tee sweats. 167 00:06:29,076 --> 00:06:30,411 Thanks! Thank you. 168 00:06:30,444 --> 00:06:32,112 There's something that Mom and Dad 169 00:06:32,146 --> 00:06:34,348 shoulda drilled into you a long time ago - wash. 170 00:06:34,415 --> 00:06:37,484 - Wash. - BOTH: Born to judge. 171 00:06:37,518 --> 00:06:39,653 - Well, I'm outta here. - Wheres you off to nows? 172 00:06:39,686 --> 00:06:40,754 I've got my two o'clock. 173 00:06:40,788 --> 00:06:42,456 - Your two o'clock what? - Date. 174 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,525 - Another ones? - How many dates you goin' on? 175 00:06:44,591 --> 00:06:46,260 - Today? - Holy fuck. 176 00:06:46,293 --> 00:06:48,128 - Three. - Three whole dates? 177 00:06:48,162 --> 00:06:50,030 I'm goin' scorched Earth, boys. 178 00:06:50,097 --> 00:06:51,865 What's the need for going on three dates in one day? 179 00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:53,200 Dary... 180 00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:55,436 if you can be one thing, you should be efficient. 181 00:06:55,469 --> 00:06:57,771 She's right. 182 00:06:57,805 --> 00:07:01,708 Must be fuckin' nice. 183 00:07:04,878 --> 00:07:06,814 Dream notch on the bedpost, boys. 184 00:07:06,847 --> 00:07:08,182 We've already played this. 185 00:07:08,215 --> 00:07:10,050 - Animated edition, buddy. - BOTH: In. 186 00:07:10,117 --> 00:07:12,453 Cartoon character you'd most like to smash. 187 00:07:12,486 --> 00:07:13,821 Daxie, go. 188 00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:15,622 - Fred Flintstone. - Why? 189 00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:18,292 Never wears pants. That's a head start I can get behind and would. 190 00:07:18,325 --> 00:07:21,562 - Barney's in the same camp. - Flintstone's were the inaugural Village People. 191 00:07:21,628 --> 00:07:23,831 - That's so hot. - That's so fuckin' hot. 192 00:07:23,864 --> 00:07:26,033 - Let's fuck a village person. - I'll fuck a village person. 193 00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:29,236 - Let's fuck a whole village. - I'll fuck some villagers. - We'll have a gay old time. 194 00:07:29,303 --> 00:07:31,071 - Reilly, go. - Ariel. 195 00:07:31,138 --> 00:07:32,906 - The Little Mermaid? - She's not that little. 196 00:07:32,973 --> 00:07:34,575 Besides, Prince Eric would never 197 00:07:34,641 --> 00:07:36,743 smash a mermaid that was too little. 198 00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,745 Not the Prince Eric I know. 199 00:07:38,812 --> 00:07:40,247 She's like 16 in the movie. 200 00:07:40,314 --> 00:07:42,149 Well, according to the film's official novelization, 201 00:07:42,182 --> 00:07:43,984 Prince Eric was eighteen. so he's good... 202 00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:46,353 in most states? 203 00:07:46,386 --> 00:07:48,589 Any concern for the very likely fishy smell? 204 00:07:48,655 --> 00:07:50,424 - None whatsoever. - Jonesy, go. 205 00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:52,993 Maid Marian from Disney's rendition of Robin Hood. 206 00:07:53,026 --> 00:07:55,596 She's foxy, bro. 207 00:07:55,662 --> 00:07:57,064 Oh, super foxy! 208 00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:58,232 Which is not surprising, 209 00:07:58,265 --> 00:07:59,766 considering she is literally a fox! 210 00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:00,934 Where's Gailer? 211 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:02,503 Well, it's supposed to be a secret, 212 00:08:02,536 --> 00:08:04,438 but since you've basically already guessed it, 213 00:08:04,505 --> 00:08:08,909 Gail is out of action because Gail is gettin' some action. 214 00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:11,345 You mean that old goat's wandered into the horse pen? 215 00:08:11,378 --> 00:08:13,447 - You said it, not me. - Who's the stud? 216 00:08:13,514 --> 00:08:16,216 - It's a super secret. - Okay, buddy. 217 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:18,519 It's under the classified cone, Jonesy. 218 00:08:18,552 --> 00:08:22,055 - A little space, spasiba. - No worries, Glenski. 219 00:08:22,089 --> 00:08:23,624 I will not tell tales out of school, Reilly. 220 00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:25,459 Honestly, you've become relentless. I don't like it. 221 00:08:25,526 --> 00:08:27,461 It's not a good look on you. It's not a good colour. 222 00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:30,564 - I'm happy for her. - You too, now? 223 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,399 Listen, I cannot handle this pressure, gentleman. 224 00:08:32,432 --> 00:08:34,101 It's gonna make me crumble, crumble like 225 00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:35,969 the beautiful Greek statue that I kind of am. 226 00:08:36,036 --> 00:08:38,872 - End of discussion then. - Oh! Fine! 227 00:08:38,906 --> 00:08:41,708 (Sighing) Since you were talking about cartoon takedowns, 228 00:08:41,742 --> 00:08:43,210 let's put it this way, 229 00:08:43,243 --> 00:08:44,811 if Gail's takedown were a cartoon character, 230 00:08:44,878 --> 00:08:47,381 he'd be Woody from Toy Story, one through four. 231 00:08:47,414 --> 00:08:49,116 But that's all you're getting outta Glen. 232 00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:51,919 That's it. Zip it up. Fort Knox. Nothing more! 233 00:08:51,952 --> 00:08:53,654 It's 'cause he's tall, lanky 234 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,657 and wears cowboy hat, goodness gracious. 235 00:08:56,723 --> 00:08:58,559 He talks real fast. I mean, real fast, 236 00:08:58,592 --> 00:09:00,827 but that's all the auction-- Oh, Glen... 237 00:09:00,894 --> 00:09:04,264 All the action that I will participate in! Enough! 238 00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:05,566 ALL: Jimmy Dick-skin? 239 00:09:05,599 --> 00:09:07,301 Is as tall lying down as he is standing up. 240 00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:08,669 I heard that from the horse's mouth. 241 00:09:08,735 --> 00:09:11,271 But that's the end of this conversation. 242 00:09:11,305 --> 00:09:13,840 It's a three-hander. Okay? 243 00:09:13,907 --> 00:09:16,176 But that's it. Goodbye! 244 00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:18,612 Fine! It's the length of a chair leg 245 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,447 and the girth of a coffee mug. 246 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,584 Are you happy now? I cannot keep talking about this! 247 00:09:23,617 --> 00:09:26,186 Okay, he's quite tall, so if he's standing straight up-- 248 00:09:26,253 --> 00:09:27,921 I'm just trying to do a little math here-- 249 00:09:27,955 --> 00:09:29,356 and his horn is a high jump bar 250 00:09:29,423 --> 00:09:32,359 I think it's set at about a meter-twenty. 251 00:09:32,426 --> 00:09:34,861 - Glen... - Bonnie, I'm trying! 252 00:09:34,928 --> 00:09:36,463 Listen, I'm at work right now. 253 00:09:36,496 --> 00:09:37,798 I'm trying to finish my shift here. 254 00:09:37,831 --> 00:09:39,600 Do you think I want to stand around here all day, 255 00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:41,535 when I'm supposed to be working, but instead 256 00:09:41,602 --> 00:09:43,804 I'm talking about my employer and her personal life, 257 00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:46,840 and how Jim Dickens' horn could double as a pull-up bar? 258 00:09:46,873 --> 00:09:49,943 I don't like any part of this, gentlemen! 259 00:09:49,977 --> 00:09:51,211 Glen! 260 00:09:51,278 --> 00:09:52,713 Fine! We're done! We're done! 261 00:09:52,779 --> 00:09:55,015 And, Bonnie, enough. And we're done. 262 00:09:55,048 --> 00:09:56,617 Enough and enough! 263 00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:58,352 Do you guys think Jimmy Dick-skin 264 00:09:58,385 --> 00:10:01,555 can, like, suck his own wiener? 265 00:10:01,622 --> 00:10:04,491 And the small town rumour mill begins to churn. 266 00:10:04,524 --> 00:10:06,793 When was the last time you tried? 267 00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:10,731 - How're you now? - Good 'n' you? 268 00:10:10,797 --> 00:10:12,899 - Not so bad. - That was quick. 269 00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:16,236 That was one was better... but still a bust. 270 00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:17,504 Swing, batta batta. 271 00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,072 Good cut. Good cut. 272 00:10:19,139 --> 00:10:20,173 Caught a nice piece of it, 273 00:10:20,207 --> 00:10:22,075 but still foul... smelling? 274 00:10:22,142 --> 00:10:24,344 Foul was not the issue this time around. 275 00:10:24,378 --> 00:10:25,846 Good. Wash. 276 00:10:25,879 --> 00:10:27,581 - He had summer teeth. - What's summer teeth? 277 00:10:27,648 --> 00:10:29,082 Pretty good Wilcos album. 278 00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:31,351 Summer' here. Some are there. 279 00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:34,054 And you don't like that, eh? 280 00:10:34,087 --> 00:10:35,989 Duh. 281 00:10:36,023 --> 00:10:38,325 - How bad's we talkins? - Bad. 282 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,227 How bad? 283 00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:41,728 Summer' inside his mouth 284 00:10:41,762 --> 00:10:44,831 and summer' not inside his mouth anymore. 285 00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:47,434 See, I got, uh... 286 00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:49,703 I got a wee bit of time for that. 287 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,104 - Pardon? - Yeah, you know, 288 00:10:51,171 --> 00:10:52,272 likes as long as they're cleans. 289 00:10:52,339 --> 00:10:53,707 (Muttering agreement) 290 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,343 - No, they weren't. - Oh, yeah, no. Fuck that. No. 291 00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:58,111 - God, no. - He a flosser? 292 00:10:58,178 --> 00:11:00,013 Did not appear to have flossed. No. 293 00:11:00,047 --> 00:11:02,015 (Chuckling) But, I mean... 294 00:11:02,049 --> 00:11:04,117 nobody really flosses. 295 00:11:04,184 --> 00:11:05,919 (Chuckling) 296 00:11:05,952 --> 00:11:07,354 Right? 297 00:11:07,387 --> 00:11:08,955 Are yous fuckin' with me? 298 00:11:09,022 --> 00:11:12,125 Here's all I'm saying - is there's a lot of super, 299 00:11:12,192 --> 00:11:13,627 mega babes out there who have 300 00:11:13,694 --> 00:11:15,462 what some might call imperfect teeth. 301 00:11:15,529 --> 00:11:17,297 - Like who? - Jessica Pare. 302 00:11:17,364 --> 00:11:18,765 - Anna Paquins. - Madonna. 303 00:11:18,799 --> 00:11:21,068 Mick Jagger's daughter Georgia May Jagger. 304 00:11:21,101 --> 00:11:22,636 - Vanessa Paradis. - Jewel. 305 00:11:22,703 --> 00:11:25,072 And don't forget Dutch supermodel Lara Stone. 306 00:11:25,105 --> 00:11:26,540 But you guys like that? 307 00:11:26,573 --> 00:11:28,442 Look, here's the thing and I'm gonna tell ya - 308 00:11:28,475 --> 00:11:31,311 what's a person without imperfections? 309 00:11:31,378 --> 00:11:33,146 Yeah, I like a little bit of au naturel. 310 00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:36,650 Professor Tricia calls it flaws of the Kardashian generations - 311 00:11:36,717 --> 00:11:39,453 young womens refuse to accept their perfect imperfections. 312 00:11:39,486 --> 00:11:41,955 Personally, I like a dude with straight teeth. 313 00:11:41,988 --> 00:11:43,123 To each his or her own. 314 00:11:43,156 --> 00:11:44,257 Well, I'm sorrys. 315 00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,659 I didn't realize we was talkings 316 00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:47,494 to the Queen of fuckin' Englands! 317 00:11:47,561 --> 00:11:50,297 - We should all be so lucky! - Yeah, must be fuckin' nice! 318 00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:51,998 - I'm outta here. - Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Katys. 319 00:11:52,065 --> 00:11:53,667 Oh, yeah. Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean to shout 320 00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:55,502 - n' make ya leave or anything. - Sorry too, Katy-Kat. 321 00:11:55,569 --> 00:11:57,471 To each his or her own. 322 00:11:57,504 --> 00:11:59,439 But I'm only leaving because I've got my third date. 323 00:11:59,473 --> 00:12:01,608 Scorched Earth, boys. 324 00:12:04,311 --> 00:12:07,080 Oh! Must be fuckin' nice! 325 00:12:10,784 --> 00:12:11,918 So... 326 00:12:11,952 --> 00:12:12,919 BOTH: So... 327 00:12:12,953 --> 00:12:15,088 - So... - BOTH: So... 328 00:12:15,122 --> 00:12:18,959 You guys hear Gail ordered a Chipotle Chimichanga? 329 00:12:18,992 --> 00:12:21,695 (Laughing) 330 00:12:21,762 --> 00:12:25,031 Yeah. Heard it was smoked meat with an extra-large pickle. 331 00:12:25,098 --> 00:12:27,200 - Still not bigger than Stewart's. - Roald... 332 00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:28,535 Just so we're crystal clear here, 333 00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:30,804 you guys heard Jim Dickens fucked Gailer? 334 00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:33,507 - What? - We heard Gailer fucked Jim Dickens. 335 00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:34,841 - Steamy. - Sordid. 336 00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:36,843 - Squalid. - Gail lassoed a cowboy. 337 00:12:36,877 --> 00:12:39,146 You guys hear Chipotle Chimichanga? 338 00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:41,548 - Double stuffed. - That's good. 339 00:12:41,615 --> 00:12:42,783 How big is that exactly? 340 00:12:42,816 --> 00:12:44,985 Take a Chipotle Chimichanga... 341 00:12:45,018 --> 00:12:46,119 - Yeah. - Now double it. 342 00:12:46,153 --> 00:12:47,988 I'm not a math guy. 343 00:12:48,021 --> 00:12:50,223 - Still not bigger than Stewart's. - Roald. 344 00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,192 DAX: I heard Gail rode that sturdy steed till sunrise. 345 00:12:52,225 --> 00:12:55,228 - I heard the stallion never petered off. - Giddy-up. 346 00:12:55,295 --> 00:12:57,731 I've never thought about Jim Dickens like that before, 347 00:12:57,798 --> 00:13:01,468 but now I fear I may never stop. 348 00:13:06,306 --> 00:13:08,642 (Speaking indistinctly) 349 00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,912 Well, I think Jim Dickens 350 00:13:11,978 --> 00:13:14,014 is all that most people are thinking about tonight. 351 00:13:14,047 --> 00:13:15,916 (All laughing) 352 00:13:15,982 --> 00:13:19,252 Did I just get a text from Gail? Yes. 353 00:13:19,319 --> 00:13:22,856 Did she use the raindrop emoji in reference to her womanhood? 354 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:26,760 Maybe. Did you hear any of this from Glen? No! 355 00:13:32,199 --> 00:13:33,533 (Chuckling) 356 00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:36,002 (All chuckling) 357 00:13:36,036 --> 00:13:38,772 (Chuckling) 358 00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:41,007 (All laughing) 359 00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:42,542 (Laughing) 360 00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:44,878 The small town rumour mill is a-churnin'. 361 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,246 (Laughing) 362 00:13:49,783 --> 00:13:52,352 I think I'd like to start going on dates, like Katy. 363 00:13:52,385 --> 00:13:55,121 - Attaboy. - With a local gal. 364 00:13:55,188 --> 00:13:57,524 This long distance relationship's too much fuckin' work. 365 00:13:57,557 --> 00:13:58,925 Like to meet a gal from Letterkenny. 366 00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:01,261 Since it's been a topics of conversations, 367 00:14:01,294 --> 00:14:02,863 may I gently suggest 368 00:14:02,896 --> 00:14:04,631 that if you're about to re-enter the dating games, 369 00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:07,434 that you steps up your hygiene games. 370 00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:08,935 What are ya talking about "my hygiene game"? 371 00:14:08,969 --> 00:14:11,137 Get outta your fuckin' barn clothes, bud! 372 00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:19,045 I need a Gus N' Bru. 373 00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,820 - (Sighing) - Batta batta swing? 374 00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:28,922 Didn't even make it into the batter's box. 375 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:29,956 He's outta there. 376 00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:31,625 You know, three losses is a slump. 377 00:14:31,658 --> 00:14:33,426 Well, two's a slump, but that's splittin' hairs. 378 00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:34,427 Dating sucks. 379 00:14:34,461 --> 00:14:35,762 Must be fuckin' nice. 380 00:14:35,795 --> 00:14:37,497 He was a crotch scratcher, Dary. 381 00:14:37,564 --> 00:14:39,933 That is typical batter's box behaviour, though. 382 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,635 What kind of a crotch scratcher? 383 00:14:41,668 --> 00:14:44,004 There's more than one type of crotch scratcher? 384 00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:45,171 ALL: Yes. 385 00:14:45,238 --> 00:14:46,840 The most popular being the pocket scratch, 386 00:14:46,907 --> 00:14:48,808 in which you pretend you're searching for your change 387 00:14:48,842 --> 00:14:51,678 or keys and then... the pocket scratch. 388 00:14:51,745 --> 00:14:54,414 - 'Kay. - Then, there's the sits and wiggle scratch. 389 00:14:54,447 --> 00:14:55,682 Well, how does that one go? 390 00:14:55,749 --> 00:14:57,350 That's when a guy keeps adjusting his chair 391 00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,119 for no apparent reason whatsoever 392 00:14:59,152 --> 00:15:00,921 so that he can distract from what he's really doing, 393 00:15:00,954 --> 00:15:02,856 which was the sits and wiggle scratch. 394 00:15:02,923 --> 00:15:04,624 I've never seen a guy do that. 395 00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:06,493 DAN, WAYNE: Yes, you have. 396 00:15:06,526 --> 00:15:07,928 And then, there's the lesser known 397 00:15:07,961 --> 00:15:09,629 "Hey, look over there" scratcher. 398 00:15:09,663 --> 00:15:10,797 I'm exhausted. 399 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,666 Katy, how long has that photo of you 400 00:15:12,699 --> 00:15:14,267 been up on the fridge over there for? 401 00:15:14,301 --> 00:15:15,936 Which? 402 00:15:15,969 --> 00:15:17,704 You just scratched yourself, didn't you? 403 00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:19,472 Well, I'm never gonna tell. 404 00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:21,207 Well, this guy didn't even trying to hide it. 405 00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:22,709 He was just givin 'er! 406 00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,544 Ah, the old 'fuck you' scratch. 407 00:15:24,611 --> 00:15:25,946 Were you on a date with a degen? 408 00:15:25,979 --> 00:15:28,048 I don't understand ball scratchin' on dates. 409 00:15:28,114 --> 00:15:30,116 What are you six? Don't pull your puddin'! 410 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,785 In all fairness, that's a two way street there, 411 00:15:31,818 --> 00:15:33,553 Miss Katys, 'cause I've seen more than my share 412 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,455 of ladies doing the pocket pinchin'. 413 00:15:35,488 --> 00:15:37,691 - Yeah, don't pick your poon. - Pardon? 414 00:15:37,724 --> 00:15:40,060 - I said, don't pick your-- - Piss off! 415 00:15:40,126 --> 00:15:41,361 Dart? 416 00:15:41,394 --> 00:15:43,964 (Phones vibrating) 417 00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:47,067 KATY: Whoa. 418 00:15:47,133 --> 00:15:48,568 DAN: That is juicy. 419 00:15:48,635 --> 00:15:50,503 So... to MoDean's? 420 00:15:50,537 --> 00:15:52,639 I'd have a dart! 421 00:16:51,598 --> 00:16:57,937 ♪ 422 00:16:57,971 --> 00:16:59,739 Bonnie! Turn that down! 423 00:16:59,773 --> 00:17:02,042 (Music plays quietly) 424 00:17:02,075 --> 00:17:04,444 Heard some talk that people been talkin'. 425 00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:08,415 It's okay. 426 00:17:08,448 --> 00:17:11,751 I'm the first gal from town to take down Jim Dickens. 427 00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:14,821 He's always fancied girls from Donegal, 428 00:17:14,888 --> 00:17:17,791 where I'm heard he's referred to as the Donegal Ripper. 429 00:17:17,824 --> 00:17:22,295 He's a mystery around here... till now. 430 00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:26,599 How big is Dick-skin? 431 00:17:26,633 --> 00:17:29,002 Take a roll of paper towel. 432 00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:31,671 Take all the paper towel off of it 433 00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:34,607 'til yer left with just the cardboard tubing 434 00:17:34,641 --> 00:17:36,576 inside the roll. 435 00:17:36,609 --> 00:17:37,844 - Got it? - ALL: Yeah. 436 00:17:37,911 --> 00:17:40,013 - Now double it. - ALL: Yeah. 437 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,614 Know how I'm near sighted? 438 00:17:41,648 --> 00:17:42,749 ALL: Yeah. 439 00:17:42,782 --> 00:17:44,784 Dick-skin got behind me at one point. 440 00:17:44,818 --> 00:17:48,088 His horn's so long I needed my glasses 441 00:17:48,121 --> 00:17:50,190 to see what he was up to back there. 442 00:17:50,256 --> 00:17:52,792 - Still not as big as Stewart-- - Roald! 443 00:17:52,826 --> 00:17:56,362 At one point, Dick-skin scooped me up by my bum, 444 00:17:56,429 --> 00:17:58,631 like Vin Diesel in the original 445 00:17:58,665 --> 00:18:02,368 Fast & Furious movie motion picture. 446 00:18:02,435 --> 00:18:03,670 Okay. 447 00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:05,105 He's so tall, 448 00:18:05,138 --> 00:18:07,040 it was the equivalent of riding an elevator 449 00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:08,975 up one and a half stories, 450 00:18:09,008 --> 00:18:12,946 with one hundred and a half times the danger. 451 00:18:12,979 --> 00:18:15,348 Is it hard for anyone else to picture Dickens 452 00:18:15,381 --> 00:18:17,884 doing anything but fast-talking auctioneering? 453 00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:20,453 Who said there was no fast-talk auctioneering?! 454 00:18:20,487 --> 00:18:21,621 Fuck off. 455 00:18:21,654 --> 00:18:23,389 "Can I get a dip, one dip, dip? 456 00:18:23,456 --> 00:18:25,558 "Can I get an ass in the air like I just don't care? 457 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:26,726 "Oh! (Grunting) 458 00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:27,894 "Fuckin' Gail everywhere. 459 00:18:27,961 --> 00:18:31,397 "Fuckin' Gail. Fuckin' Gail here, here. 460 00:18:31,464 --> 00:18:33,800 "Goin' once, goin' once--" 461 00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,069 JIM: Would you like to go twice... 462 00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:37,403 - (Gasping) - ...Gailer? 463 00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:40,874 Jim Dick-skins. Didn't see you come in there. 464 00:18:40,907 --> 00:18:42,509 - Didn't ya not really? - No. Why?! 465 00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:45,211 Well, he's a c-hair shy of seven feet tall is all. 466 00:18:45,245 --> 00:18:47,547 These are for you. I picked them myself. 467 00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,482 - Aww... - (Sniffing) 468 00:18:49,516 --> 00:18:51,885 Huh. Smells nice. 469 00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:54,988 How would you like to pick another flower? 470 00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:56,689 Buy me a beer first? 471 00:18:56,723 --> 00:18:58,057 'Kay. 472 00:18:59,392 --> 00:19:02,762 I'd put it on your tab, but I can't seem to find it. 473 00:19:02,829 --> 00:19:05,532 Maybe we should just start a new one. 474 00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:08,268 (Both chuckling) 475 00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:11,004 Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? 476 00:19:11,037 --> 00:19:12,539 Free beer if you smash Gailer? 477 00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:14,908 No. Two people from the same town, 478 00:19:14,941 --> 00:19:17,944 together and happy... it's kinda rare. 479 00:19:18,011 --> 00:19:21,281 Big take away, there is no one dateable in this town. 480 00:19:21,347 --> 00:19:23,283 Yeah, well, I mean, what about... 481 00:19:23,349 --> 00:19:26,119 No. There's no one dateable in this town. 482 00:19:26,186 --> 00:19:27,787 - Well, there is-- - No. 483 00:19:27,854 --> 00:19:31,891 There is no one dateable in this town! 484 00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:33,593 Do you agree with that, Bonnie? 485 00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:35,528 Buncha' stinkers and scratchers, really. 486 00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:40,300 It's just no one new or exotic ever comes into town. 487 00:19:40,366 --> 00:19:43,903 Like what's it going to take for some sexy Brit 488 00:19:43,937 --> 00:19:46,873 to come in here and charm me with that accent? 489 00:19:49,442 --> 00:19:50,910 ALL: Angie? 490 00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:52,879 (English accent:) Oh, please do excuse me, yeah? 491 00:19:52,912 --> 00:19:55,582 I've been abroad for so long, I'm barely recognizable, 492 00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:57,217 d'you know what I mean? 493 00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,152 Where does the queue begin for a pint at this pub? 494 00:19:59,219 --> 00:20:01,321 I've drank nearly nothing but Guinness 495 00:20:01,387 --> 00:20:03,056 since Dublin, haven't I? 496 00:20:03,089 --> 00:20:05,258 Oh. Do you take euros here? 497 00:20:08,061 --> 00:20:09,996 ALL: Pull your finger outta your ass. 498 00:20:10,063 --> 00:20:12,098 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 499 00:20:12,131 --> 00:20:14,167 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 500 00:20:14,234 --> 00:20:15,768 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 501 00:20:15,802 --> 00:20:17,270 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 502 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:19,505 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 503 00:20:19,572 --> 00:20:21,241 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 504 00:20:21,274 --> 00:20:23,142 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 505 00:20:23,176 --> 00:20:25,245 ♪ I will not be accountable for what comes out ♪ 506 00:20:25,278 --> 00:20:26,646 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 507 00:20:26,679 --> 00:20:28,648 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 508 00:20:28,681 --> 00:20:30,650 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 509 00:20:30,683 --> 00:20:32,652 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 510 00:20:32,685 --> 00:20:34,654 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 511 00:20:34,687 --> 00:20:36,656 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 512 00:20:36,689 --> 00:20:38,658 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 513 00:20:38,691 --> 00:20:40,660 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 514 00:20:40,693 --> 00:20:41,828 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 515 00:20:41,861 --> 00:20:43,663 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 516 00:20:43,696 --> 00:20:45,665 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 517 00:20:45,698 --> 00:20:47,667 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 518 00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:49,669 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 519 00:20:49,702 --> 00:20:51,871 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 520 00:20:51,938 --> 00:20:53,039 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 521 00:20:53,106 --> 00:20:54,974 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 522 00:20:55,008 --> 00:20:57,043 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 523 00:20:57,110 --> 00:20:58,945 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 524 00:20:58,978 --> 00:21:01,014 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 525 00:21:01,047 --> 00:21:02,282 ♪ I'm known for running my... ♪ 526 00:21:02,315 --> 00:21:04,050 ♪ I'm known for running my mouth ♪ 527 00:21:04,117 --> 00:21:06,386 ♪ I will not be accountable for what comes out ♪ 528 00:21:06,452 --> 00:21:07,854 I'm known for running my... ♪