**
Ra-Sharir?
Man: Oh, my God!
Wayne: Listen, you idiots, I work for the [echoing] FBI!
And after we heard that...
you are surprised with what happened next?
**
Doss: My name is Bill Doss.
I'm former FBI.
Wayne Delancey, A.K.A. Father Ra-Shawbard,
was my informant.
**
In the late '70s, I was assigned
to the elite cult unit of the FBI.
We had been formed after the tragedy of Jonestown
for the unique purpose of stopping cult activity.
**
I reached out to a colleague of mine -- Larry Cooper.
Larry had been profiling serial killers.
We're having drinks one night, and I said,
"Larry, how the hell am I ever gonna know
what a nut bag like Jim Jones is thinking?"
Larry looks at me and says,
"What if the nut bag worked for you?"
The problem with profiling serial killers
is that you can only do it
after they've killed a bunch of people.
This way, we could learn what we need to
and no one would get hurt.
It was a hell of a plan...
on paper.
Doss: Our first order of business was to find ourselves a front man.
Someone had to run the cult, right?
And then, like a gift from the gods,
Paternius just falls into our lap.
* Doo doo doo doo
* You know I'll be waiting on the corner *
* Whoo-whoo
Paternius -- real name
Wayne Delancey -- had a health food store
on Sunset Boulevard that specialized in yogurt.
He called the place Counter Culture.
The place had a staff of about 20 girls, not a bra between 'em.
Cooper: The guy is raking it in.
Buys a nice house in the hills,
lives there with 50 or so of his followers.
They call themselves Paternians.
Local P.D. tossed it our way
because it qualified as cult activity.
So we stopped by the yogurt stand to take a look.
Within five minutes, it's clear the whole thing is a front
for a drug-dealing operation.
We arrested Wayne in the back
loading the cocaine into little bags himself.
He just gave us a look like, "Oh, man."
**
[Camera shutter clicks]
So we figured, "Jackpot."
We could use this interrogation
to get inside the head of a cult leader.
Wayne, if it wasn't a spiritual journey, what was it?
I've just always really loved getting high.
What about the women?
Turns out they really love getting high, too.
He was always real fast with a quip.
Yeah, I was jealous of it.
We're gonna have to clip your wings.
No, no, I get it.
Time to get this old boy back on the reservation
and let him play possum till the next time
Crazy Horse taps me on the shoulder and says, "Let's ride."
I don't really know what that means, but...
how about we make a deal?
**
That's a beautiful word, "deal."
And you're talking to a dealer.
**
Doss: So the three of us move into an office, we start making a plan.
I gotta say, that damn Wayne,
he may have been half a kook,
but, boy, when it came to cults, he was smart as all get-out.
We asked him, "How do you get members?"
He said we should take out an ad with nonsense words on it.
"Purify, elevate, liberate."
People just started calling in
and started sending money for tapes.
There is the world we see,
but there's also a second world that we do not.
How do we unlock the door to that world?
Who has the keys?
Who lives there?
What do they have for breakfast?
He couldn't be Paternius anymore,
so we had to come up with a new identity.
Cooper was from Pittsburgh, big Steelers fan.
Cooper: Oh, yeah, man, I love the Steelers.
Doss: Wayne suggests everyone in the cult
should just be the players names rearranged.
Cooper: Bradshaw became Shawbard.
Greene and Harris became Negree and Sharir.
Father calls me Ra-Temblar.
"Tem" is for the temple, and "blar"
is for the blaring of the message of love.
I was named after God's kindness.
Nope. You weren't named after kindness,
you were named after Jack Lambert,
meanest son of a bitch to ever play the game.
When God saw Jack Lambert play football, he pissed his pants.
Wayne even thought everyone should wear Steeler colors.
These people thought they were on a path to enlightenment.
And unbeknownst to them, they were dressed like
a bunch of drunks at a tailgate.
[Laughs] We had a lot of fun.
I don't think about it much because of how it ended,
but those were good times to be
in the elite cult unit of the FBI.
**
Doss: It's like sending your kid off to college.
We even loaned out a Rolls-Royce from evidence
for him to drive to Oregon.
I remember patting on the hood and telling him,
"Screw who you want, do what you want,
but stay off the drugs, Wayne."
**
Everything got off to a great start.
People were showing up every day,
and they were totally under Ra-Shawbard's control.
So we started our experiment to see how easily cult members
would surrender their free will to a leader.
Cooper: These people ate up everything Wayne told them to do.
He had them talking to vegetables,
dancing for hours on end, spinning in circles.
It was genius.
But my favorite was Wayne's signature
heliumtopic meditation.
**
Doss: Once a week, members would suck on helium
and then admit what they were most ashamed of.
[Helium hissing]
[High-pitched voice] When I was 15...
I stole my grandmother's locket from my mother's jewelry drawer.
I pawned it to get money to go to Florida with my friends.
Doss: After they confessed, the rest of the group
would wail on them with pool noodles.
**
And then finish up with a big old orgy
with one great Wayne detail --
they had to scream their orgasms into jars
so that they could be saved.
**
[Men, women moaning pleasurably]
He told us that we should save our moments of ecstasy
should there ever come a time when darkness falls.
**
It's a career case.
I figured I might be in line for deputy director,
if not director one day.
When we showed the world what these cults were really about,
who would ever join one again?
Of course, we...
we didn't count on Ra-Sharir.
**
Ra-Sharir showed up after the first wave.
[Laughs]
And immediately engrained herself
into Wayne's inner circle.
Doss: Wayne told us she was a true believer like he'd never seen.
I told him, "Don't you ever let her forget who's in charge.
And, remember, stay off the drugs, Wayne."
Cooper: He had a wicker chair,
and Ra-Sharir started calling it his throne.
We should have seen that as a red flag.
Doss: I didn't care about the throne.
What I cared about is, somehow this Ra-Sharir
was becoming the spokesperson for the cult that I started.
When I read about the sign in the grocery store,
I was very upset.
Then she goes and she makes it a national news story
by threatening to rename the town.
Tonight, a small town in Oregon may lose its name.
Ra-Sharbarda.
I reached out to Wayne, I made it very clear,
I said, "Wayne, you've gotta put a stop to her."
You're a little out of your lane, Wayne.
Any chance you can pull your friend Ra-Sharir back for us?
Wayne: Who?
Ra-Sharir, Wayne.
The one who seems to be running things over there.
What? Ra-Sharir?
Yeah, that's right -- Ra-Sharir.
Where?
Oh, yeah, man.
Ra-Sharir, she's...
Yeah, she's -- what a dynamite lady.
Bill you gotta meet her.
How the (bleep) am I gonna meet her, Wayne?
I'm an FBI agent, and she's a cult member.
Who is?
Goddamn it. Ra-Sha--
Wayne, are you back on drugs?
That was our one rule, you son of a bitch!
Whoa! Take it easy.
Uncalled for.
[Receiver clicks, dial tone]
I always really regretted yelling at him.
Especially since it was the last time I ever spoke to him.
News today out of the Shawbard Valley Ranch,
where where Ra-Sharir has announced
that Father Ra-Shawbard has taken a vow of silence.
Father will use his silence to contemplate
what plagues this world.
Doss: I saw him in that chair,
and I realized we had to get him out.
We made a plan.
Larry would go in undercover and extract Wayne.
**
One day passes, and I-I don't hear from Larry.
Then two days, then three.
Then on the fourth, I see him on the news,
dancing with other cult members.
**
Thinking, "Boy, Larry's really going deep cover on this one."
Then he calls.
Cooper: Bill?
Larry! Where the hell have you been?
Uh, it's not Larry anymore.
My name is Ra-Tunbol. What?!
I'm Ra-Tunbol now. And I'm finally home.
Ra-Tunbol?
God! It's not Tunbol, it's Blount!
He named you after hall-of-fame cornerback Mel Blount!
Be happy that the man you once knew as Larry Cooper
has found a peace he never knew in the life he's leaving behind.
You're not a cult member, Larry.
Did you ever think you might be a member of a cult?
The cult of law enforcement?
(Bleep) you, Larry!
I did go in to extract Wayne.
That was always the plan.
But every time I talked to a Shawbardite to get information,
I left the conversation feeling better about myself.
I'd been divorced twice, and my kids didn't talk to me.
Maybe it's cause I drank too much back then
or never called them.
Maybe it's because I spent too much damn time
hanging out with serial killers.
Point is, the Shawbardites taught me to forgive myself.
And once I did...
I was happy.
**
Well, I knew I had to go to the brass.
**
Jack Fancy was our section chief.
Walking into his office, thinking it couldn't be worse,
and when I opened the door,
he's watching Ra-Sharir on the news.
This is an attack by the federal government
on a religion of peace.
Tonight, we bring you video out of Shawbard Valley Ranch,
but we warn you what you're about to see is graphic.
Ra-Sharir?
Man: Oh, my God!
So I'm watching this.
Bill walks in, and I turn to him and say,
"Do you notice that driver looks a lot like Agent Cooper?"
**
By the way, where is Agent Cooper?
He just started to cry.
Yeah, I cried.
I cried hard.
Cried for a real long time.
**
Stratus: If you thought things couldn't get worse
for the people of the town formerly known
as Chinook, you'd be mistaken,
as over half of the townspeople now are infected with pink eye.
Medical officials say they've seen an influx
of affected patients and are worried
that they've got a full-scale epidemic on their hands.
In an effort to get to the bottom of why
so may in our town have fallen ill,
our local law enforcement has pulled security video
from all eating establishments.
We do not think it is a coincidence
that a town that has never had this problem before
is having it now --
after a group of Shawbardites touched
all the items in the salad bar without even getting a salad.
**
So if our friend Ra-Sharir is watching,
I'd just like to say one thing...
enough is enough.
**
Doss: Turns out Ra-Sharir wasn't satisfied
with giving conjunctivitis to Chinook.
She was building a pink-eye army to infiltrate all of Oregon.
**
It was diabolical because pink eye is so contagious.
**
Around this time, we got a hit on Ra-Sharir from Interpol.
Her real name is Saavi Chambal, and she was a known hypnotist.
She was also wanted in five countries.
Doss: Turned out, she had a history of joining cults
with the suspected goal of convincing everyone
to go off themselves
so she could get away with the money.
We even found some photos that led us to believe
she was at Jonestown.
**
That was all we needed to surround the ranch.
[Siren wailing]
Woman: Tensions are running high here
outside of Shawbard Valley Ranch,
where federal agents have surrounded the area.
Man: The path to Shawbard Valley Ranch
has been completely blocked by a barricade of Mason jars.
And what's in these jars is anyone's guess,
but it could be noxious gases.
Fancy: There was a theory that we were dealing with chemical warfare.
I called Agent Doss to see what he thought.
Doss: I told Agent Fancy it was probably the jars
they screamed their orgasms into.
Then he hung up on me.
The hope was that the joy of the orgasm jars...
would turn back the violent urges of the law enforcement.
**
It did not.
**
Ra-Sharir: They are coming for us.
You can hear them getting closer.
Shh. Doss: Sick to my stomach.
I knew the power Ra-Sharir had over those people,
and now I knew what she was planning to do.
But they do not know
that we have a better life waiting for us
after this one, huh?!
Our fear was that she would give a suicide order,
and that's exactly what she did.
So tell me, are you ready to die today, huh?
I thought I was going to have the blood of 200 people on my hands.
I said, are you ready to die today?!
Man: Um, no.
What? Who said that?
I just don't think, like, in general,
that's what we're here for.
Are you not here to follow Father Ra-Shawbard?
We are, but, like, where is he?
He is recovering, and I speak for him.
If I may, I think what we're all reacting to
is how aggressive things have gotten here.
A month ago, this place had a really good vibe.
Now, there's, like, guns everywhere
and itchy eyes.
And there are hardly any orgies.
And it's just not what we all signed up for.
Everyone look at me!
Here's the thing --
the eyes are the most important tool a hypnotist has.
A hypnotist with pink eye
is like a boxer with two broken hands.
**
Look at me-e-e-e.
Doss: Thank God for pink eye.
Fancy: In a standoff situation,
the dream is everyone comes out with their hands up.
This was that dream.
[Helicopter blades whirring]
Reporter: The siege at Shawbard Valley Ranch is over before it started,
with members turning themselves in to federal agents.
Most were released within the course of a day,
save for one, Ra-Sharir, who is in police custody.
**
Doss: We had multiple witnesses who corroborated
that Ra-Sharir had tried to pink eye the entire state.
We could have put her away for years.
But she had an ace up her sleeve.
I simply played them a tape
that I thought they might find interesting.
[Reel whirs]
[Helium hissing]
[High-pitched voice] I'm an FBI agent.
My partner and I recruited a man
named Wayne Delancey to start this cult
and then run it to our specifications.
[Inhales sharply]
[Helium hissing]
The U.S. government is responsible
for everything that has happened here.
[Normal voice] I'm sorry.
[Sobbing]
I cannot speak to why she was released, but she was released.
Today, the final member of the Shawbard Valley Ranch
was released from federal custody,
and Ra-Sharir had a message for everyone.
You want to know what I think?
Tough titties!
**
Cooper: I took my pension and never looked back.
I spent the next few years getting in touch with my kids.
It's not perfect, but three out of four of them call me Dad.
I kicked around, did some odd jobs.
But something was still missing for me.
And so I went out and found it.
**
I think the thing about me that surprises people the most
is that I stayed in Chinook.
[Chuckles]
The reality was, despite how it ended,
I'd enjoyed my time here.
Mm.
Man: I mean, sure, it was weird at first.
But you get used to things.
Plus, she makes a hell of a green juice.
Well, sure, I'm surprised we're friends.
But what can I say?
My God teaches me to forgive.
That doesn't mean I forget.
Every day when I go to pay for my juice...
I do it in pennies.
**
Fancy: What do I think happened to Wayne Delancey?
He's probably dead.
Agents on the scene searched Shawbard's domicile
but couldn't find him.
Based on his injuries from the car accident
and the fact that he never saw a doctor,
our best guess, he's buried on the premises somewhere.
If I ask you to picture Wayne Delancey
with his beard shaved off,
wearing an FBI jacket and sunglasses,
you think it would look anything like this?
And if he is dead, do you want to explain to me
why every year on the anniversary of the raid,
I get a Pittsburgh Steelers postcard
sent from a different corner of the globe?
**
When people find out I'm a Shawbardite,
they are surprised that I still adhere
to the teachings of a con man
who was only pretending to be a spiritual leader.
And the only thing I can tell them
is that I was sad before I met him...
and happy when I knew him.
And I don't know what more to want from anyone
other than that.
**
I do wish he hadn't stolen from me, though.
**
[Birds chirping]
**