1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:08,342 ** 2 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:19,987 ** 3 00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,494 Good evening. 4 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,596 I'm Helen Mirren, and you're watching 5 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:32,200 "Documentary Now!", Season 52. 6 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:37,071 In 1970, Broadway legends Simon Sawyer and Howard Pine 7 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:39,607 allowed filmmaker R.C. Baumgartner 8 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:44,178 to document the cast recording of their brand-new musical. 9 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:50,284 We give you the joy, the pain, and the music of "Co-Op". 10 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,856 [Horn honks] 11 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:36,197 [Band playing] 12 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,737 Hey, Dave. 13 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,912 Barbara, Alby and I accidentally grabbed 14 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,415 each other's cases again. 15 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,251 Look, I need my trumpet. 16 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:04,158 How many channels are we recording on? Seven. 17 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,560 So we're definitely gonna need more than that. 18 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,230 Pbbbth. 19 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,864 * At the co-op 20 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,866 * Beaux arts under scaffolding 21 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,836 * The co-op 22 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,071 Well, we had had such an enormous hit with... 23 00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,773 Huge. ..."Has Anyone Ever Told You 24 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,409 That You'd Look Better As A Brunette?", 25 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,744 which at the time was the longest title ever on Broadway, 26 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,179 though of course now everyone's copied it. 27 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,948 So what next? And then it hit us. 28 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:31,885 We were walking along 82nd and Third Avenue, which -- 29 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,254 God and everyone else on Earth knows 30 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:36,424 how beautiful that block is -- large, white, 31 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,660 practical apartment buildings, and one of us said... 32 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,195 You said it. I did not say it. 33 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:46,767 "There must be 200 units of apartments in that co-op, 34 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,102 and that is 200 different stories," 35 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,272 and we both thought there's a show in that. 36 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:55,042 I actually said, "That's not a good idea for a show". 37 00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,077 Alright, this is it, people. 38 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,412 Settle. 39 00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,581 "Co-Op" -- take one. 40 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:06,153 ** 41 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,155 * At the co-op 42 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,190 * It's Beaux-Arts under scaffolding * 43 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,191 * Co-op 44 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,361 * The staff can't do anything 45 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,895 * Co-op 46 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:18,266 * But they might still strike this spring * 47 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,602 * That's the gossip at the mail drop * 48 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,238 * Here in our co-op 49 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:25,839 Whose package is this?! 50 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:29,777 Something from Overnight Insulin Emergency Providers? 51 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,712 Going once, twice? 52 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,282 Nope? Okay, garbage time. 53 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,416 Bye, bye, box! 54 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,684 * Co-op 55 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,686 * Why's the water shut off today? * 56 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,920 * Co-op 57 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,655 * The super just walked away 58 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,190 * Co-op 59 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:48,228 * I'd rather squat in a loft than stay in this * 60 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,364 * One-stop flop 61 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:54,101 * Called a co-op 62 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:57,338 * 22 floors and a roof deck that's off-limits * 63 00:03:57,371 --> 00:04:00,441 * 160 units managed by a staff of dimwits * 64 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:03,344 * We pay a king's ransom for a one-bedroom tomb * 65 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,514 * But you can sort of see the Chrysler from the window * 66 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,416 * In your room 67 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,050 * The window in your room 68 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,586 * And you don't own any land, just a box in the sky * 69 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,588 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * The neighbor's cooking kasha 70 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,390 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * And your other neighbor died 71 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:19,327 * Moving here felt lucky, but that time is forgot * 72 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,162 * But you'll never give up your spot * 73 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:24,732 * At the co-op 74 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:29,337 * Our blessed co-op 75 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:33,006 Wow. Well, that was a hell of a good first take. 76 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,175 Let's move on. Okay. 77 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,678 Please let everybody know it's closed. 78 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,613 You want me to do that? Please. 79 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,684 Uh, okay. Uh, before we move on, 80 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,654 uh, Howard and Simon have a note. 81 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,389 Oh, you can... 82 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,224 Or, um... 83 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,327 a factoid, I guess. 84 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:58,866 This show, "CO-OP: The Musical", has been closed. 85 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,771 And I can tell by the look on all of your faces 86 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,540 that you didn't read the reviews that came out today, 87 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:12,079 and therefore were not able to, uh, anticipate this news, 88 00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,914 but -- but it -- it is closed. 89 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,849 It's -- it's, uh, it's over. 90 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:19,286 It's -- it's not -- it's -- it's all done. 91 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:25,893 [All whispering] 92 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,662 Okay, we're back from the break. 93 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,498 I said "take 20", it's now half past, 94 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:35,403 so Larry, I want to go right into your number. 95 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,737 Larry? Put the coffee down. 96 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,507 Let's focus! 97 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,675 Alright. Come on. Come on! 98 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,876 Let's do this thing. 99 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:46,346 Orchestra? Always accelerando, okay? 100 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,781 But never beyond allegro. 101 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,117 That's no comment on all of you, obviously. 102 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,586 Hey, I speak Italian, capiche? 103 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,021 Oh, you read the Times. 104 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,990 So you think I can't sing fast, huh? [Bleep] critics. 105 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,527 This is why I don't read this shit because -- 106 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,928 because it's beneath my vision. 107 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,063 L-Like this one, like this one. 108 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,165 "In his show-stopping solo 'Christmas Tips', 109 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,035 Mr. Lonson provided the night's only dramatic moment -- 110 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,604 that is, with this actor so clearly out of breath 111 00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:13,941 by the first stanza be able to finish the fast-paced song 112 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,777 or would he suffer cardiac arrest on-stage?" 113 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,513 Okay? Allegro? Presto. Fasto. 114 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:20,848 Huh? Huh? 115 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,551 I'll -- I'll show you breath control. 116 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,820 Benedict: "Christmas Tips". Orchestra! 117 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,155 Man and Woman: Hello Robbie. 118 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,823 Hello. 119 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,760 * Welcome home Mister and Mrs, what is this? * 120 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:36,830 * I'll tell you, this is just a package I've been holding * 121 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,832 * It's addressed to Mrs. Goldstein * 122 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,668 * What a co-op, what a lobby 123 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,736 * Every slob is acting snobby 124 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,705 * But you take a tip from Robbie * 125 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:49,877 * You should tip your doorman 126 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,845 * The holidays are merry 127 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,681 * All the secrets that I carry 128 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,382 * One slip of the lip is scary 129 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,918 * 'Cause tomorrow you're not married * 130 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,687 * I open the door 131 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,821 * Give kids high fives 132 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,222 * One, two, three 133 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,491 * I open the door 134 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,493 * And I watch your lives 135 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,994 * And the things you do 136 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,896 * So you better tip me 137 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,431 * 'Cause I watch your lives 138 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,333 * Mr. Adams, Mrs. Eve 139 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,903 * This is your gift I do believe? * 140 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,005 * A tree planted in Tel Aviv? * 141 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,207 * For your marriage, I now grieve * 142 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,075 * You see only him, and me know * 143 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,211 * Back when you were getting chemo * 144 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,013 * That nurse who was Filipino 145 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,915 * Got knocked up with a bambino * 146 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,850 * And he sent them off to Reno 147 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,151 * You should have tipped me better * 148 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,186 * At least $100 and a sweater 149 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,055 * Make it cashmere, there's a letter 150 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,356 * From the nurse that would upset her * 151 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,559 -And breath. -Full breath. 152 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:39,827 * I open the door 153 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:40,994 * Give kids high-fives 154 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:41,995 * One, two, three 155 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,363 * I open the door 156 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,932 * And I watch your lives 157 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,200 * Your private lives 158 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:54,241 * Co-op, cooperate with me-eeee * 159 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:59,012 [Panting] 160 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,915 Alright?! 161 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,151 That's how you do allegro. 162 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,922 * It's a New York soap opera 163 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,457 * One I've seen before 164 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,193 * It's a New York soap opera 165 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,828 * Open, close the door 166 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,096 Hi, Judy. Hi, Dee Dee. 167 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,430 Uh, you've been doing something wrong 168 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,132 for about three weeks, and it's been annoying me. 169 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,101 I want to talk to you about it right now. 170 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,803 Uh, let's see here. Okay? 171 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,204 Uh, bah, bah, bah, bah. 172 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,940 "It's a New York soap opera, 173 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,776 and for love stay tuned". 174 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:33,113 * It's a New York soap opera, and for love stay tuned * 175 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:37,651 * It's a New York soap opera, and my heart is ruined * 176 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,452 No. "Rooned". 177 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,421 And my heart is -- what? 178 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,923 "Rooned". The word is "Rooned". 179 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,291 "Ruined". "Rooned". 180 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,926 I'm -- R-U-I-N-E-D. 181 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,695 There's only one way to say it. "Rooned". 182 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,096 Ru-in-ed. 183 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,998 Okay, supposing I asked you, in the past tense, 184 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,800 how did you kill a whale? 185 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,134 Is this a riddle? No. 186 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,603 It's a simple question. How do you kill a whale? 187 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,170 I'm really intimidated by you right now. 188 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,939 You harpoon it, right? 189 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,141 Now say that in the past tense. 190 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,542 "Harpoon-ed". Right. 191 00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,712 Now take off the "H" and the "A" and "R". 192 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,279 "Pooned". 193 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,548 Now switch that "P" with an "R". 194 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,150 "Rooned". Yeah. 195 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,085 You've got it now. It's a New York... 196 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,521 * Soap opera and for love stay tuned * 197 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:19,426 * It's a New York soap opera, and my love is -- is rooned * 198 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,962 Perfect. Now she's gonna say "harpooned" on this take, 199 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,163 but that's not my fault. Okay. 200 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,798 This was a good exercise. Hi, Judy. 201 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,533 Hi. 202 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,705 Hope to see you at our holiday party tonight, Joe. 203 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:32,940 Holiday party? 204 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,942 God, no. 205 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,177 ** 206 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:41,281 * Hark the herald angels sing * 207 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:45,452 * Glory to the newborn king 208 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,957 * Peace on Earth and mercy mild * 209 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:55,763 * God and sinners reconciled 210 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:59,532 [Music tempo increases] 211 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,802 * If I'm being honest, it was all very harrowing * 212 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,971 * When the invite came for an evening of caroling * 213 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,973 * I don't like singing, I'm not much for conversation * 214 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,441 * And the combo of the two gave me such hesitation * 215 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,510 * I took a little something just to dull all the edges * 216 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,680 * Either that or I was certain to be jumping off the ledges * 217 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,882 * I'm really quite sorry, but I'm going to admit it * 218 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,917 * I'm really so sorry, if I could I would quit it * 219 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:21,488 * But the fact of the matter is I did a little cocaine tonight * 220 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:25,993 * God rest ye merry gentlemen 221 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:30,097 * Let nothing you dismay 222 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:37,137 * Remember Christ our savior was born on Christmas Day * 223 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,141 * I'm trying to relax but instead I keep finding * 224 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,509 * That I'm sweating from my brow * 225 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,311 * And my teeth won't stop grinding * 226 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,946 * And my mouth is as dry as the sand of the Sahara-y * 227 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,115 * So I miscalculated and I chugged down a sherry * 228 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,017 * The whole room is spinning and I want to take a knee * 229 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,519 * But instead I'll sneak a bump as I hide behind the tree * 230 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,621 * I'm really very sorry that I can't stop talking * 231 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,757 * I'm so very sorry for my chirping and my squawking * 232 00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:00,994 * But the fact of the matter is I did a little cocaine tonight * 233 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,096 * Oh, man, here comes Ann 234 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,198 * She's the athlete from 12G 235 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,334 * She's the knees of the bees 236 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,436 * Always making eyes at me 237 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,939 * It would seem such a dream 238 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,874 * If I asked her for a dance 239 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:18,712 * But I just blew a rail and I'm gonna shit my pants * 240 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,715 * Hey, Ann, I'm Joe but of course you know * * Hey there, Joe, yes, Joe, I know * 241 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:24,084 * I don't know why I'm telling you so * * I was just about to go 242 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,686 * I just got here and grabbed a beer * * I'm partied out without a doubt * 243 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,322 * Are people singing or is it clear * * When it comes to singing I can do without * 244 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,025 * You look stunning, is your nose running * * Truth be told I have a cold * 245 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,593 * I can get a tissue if it's an issue * * Oh, hell, I'm lying there's no denying * 246 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,262 * If I come clean don't start a scene * 247 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,930 * But in this moonlight, you're such a sight * 248 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:39,266 * That it just feels right to admit I did * 249 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:46,306 * A little bit of cocaine toniiiiiight! * 250 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,676 Do you have more? I can get some. 251 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,283 This will be take one of "My Home Court". 252 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,018 And we're gonna get the dialogue 253 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,686 before the orchestra comes in, please? 254 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,755 Yes, right. So in this part of the show, Dee Dee's character 255 00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,757 is trying to get an apartment in the building. 256 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,625 Right, so she's before the co-op board, 257 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,460 but to her, she's just one of the tenant's tennis coaches. 258 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,596 -Hmm. -So it's a -- it's a wish song. 259 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,131 It's also a co-op board meeting. 260 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,766 It's a fantasy fulfillment song like 261 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,102 "My Boy Bill" in "Carousel", which is a flawed show, 262 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,804 but it's still an "I want that" number. 263 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:20,273 Yes. It's also an "application for an apartment" number. 264 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,009 It's a "bureaucratic apartment 265 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:24,711 co-op board fantasy fulfillment" song. 266 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,946 Okay, let's roll! 267 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:29,216 Dee Dee, darling, when you're ready. 268 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,151 Norman: Thanks for the lesson today, Ann. 269 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,120 Be sure to ice that tennis elbow. 270 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:37,157 Say, do you know where the co-op board meets? 271 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:40,427 In the multi-purpose room. Why? Are you lost? 272 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,796 No. I have a meeting... 273 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:47,968 to be approved! 274 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:52,940 * I'm a pro down at the bubble 275 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:57,811 * I teach tennis for my pay 276 00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,047 * I don't mean your board much trouble * 277 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,582 * But may I join this game of doubles? * 278 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:07,254 * Can I play if I can pay? 279 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:12,125 * You'll have questions with some top spin * 280 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:16,864 * And my answers may be lobs * 281 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:19,132 * But if you serve then I will volley * 282 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,801 * And we'll rally tilt its folly * 283 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:26,606 * And I'll earn 8K's key fob 284 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:31,144 * The world out there is made of only grass and clay * 285 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:38,151 * Gimme concrete, be a sport I can conquer on that court * 286 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:42,255 * That apartment my home court 287 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:46,026 ** 288 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,296 * I can picture that studio fitted out * 289 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,597 * With my style 290 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,966 * A brown and beige kinda mood, you know * 291 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,302 * And metro-hex Green tile * 292 00:13:55,335 --> 00:14:00,107 * A framed Navratilova hangin' just above the sofa * 293 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,609 * And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 294 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,377 * And the brown 295 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:09,649 * There's a nude by Avedon just above the toilet * 296 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,086 * A naked guy with pubic hair and he's sort of -- * 297 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,454 * I won't spoil it 298 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,623 * The right erotic art 299 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,092 * Says I'm sexual but smart 300 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,694 * And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 301 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,763 * And the brown 302 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,799 * I'm gonna make a life up there * 303 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,768 * And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 304 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,104 * With floor to ceiling teak 305 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:33,773 * And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 306 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,043 * It's a palace of 500-square 307 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,445 * But it's Polynesian chic 308 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,380 * Don't think it's an insane wish * 309 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,183 * That my chairs be winged and Danish * 310 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,752 * And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 311 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,921 * And the brown 312 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,590 * I'm laying my dreams on you 313 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,660 * I already bought a fondue 314 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,529 * And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 315 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,166 * And the beige and the brown 316 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:04,837 * With the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige * 317 00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:11,878 * And the Brown! 318 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:17,084 * Brown! 319 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,991 What a night, huh? 320 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,325 It's you guys I feel sorry for. 321 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,194 I mean, you know, you got to sit here and memorize 322 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,528 these songs, these notes. 323 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,430 Jesus, look at all that. 324 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,500 You know, but I think we got it. 325 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,335 How am I? I'm good. 326 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,869 You know, I mean these things -- they come and go, 327 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:40,940 but you guys -- you're the artists. 328 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,609 I can pull the wool over the audience's eyes, 329 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,411 but you're there every night. It's your -- 330 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,179 your opinion that I trust. 331 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:48,648 Am I bad at singing and acting? 332 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:53,486 Benedict: This is "I Gotta Go", take one. 333 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:58,691 * Look at me, Cinderella 334 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,661 * Stroke of midnight 335 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,164 * Footmen? Gone. 336 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:07,267 * My glass slippers? 337 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,502 * Now they're Merrells 338 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,571 * And Prince Charming? 339 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:16,443 * He's just Ron 340 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,411 * Spell is broken 341 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:21,981 * Unenchanted 342 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:24,317 * Sheets are soiled 343 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:28,488 * Linens she picked up at Bloomies * 344 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:31,724 * For a marriage that I spoiled * 345 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:36,096 * I got to go, I got to go * 346 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,430 God damn it. 347 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,666 Benedict: Okay, okay, hold a moment. 348 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,835 -I got to go! -I said "hold a moment", please. 349 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,172 Patty: Benedict, I've been here for 12 hours. 350 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,406 Let me just remind you. 351 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,341 I was supposed to sing at the beginning. 352 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,211 I was denied that opportunity again and again. 353 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,580 Now I have to go, so let's just do this, 354 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,482 and I'll try to do my best. 355 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,250 It -- it -- the whole thing is flaccid. 356 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,152 It likes a buoyancy, you know? 357 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,654 I agree. [Sighs] 358 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,492 Uh, Patty, once more from the top, please. 359 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,662 * I got to go, I got to go 360 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,331 God damn it. 361 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,833 * I got to hail a pumpkin coach * 362 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:14,934 Aah! 363 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,504 "I Got to Go", take 11. 364 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,172 Patty: Benedict, just so we're clear, 365 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,774 earlier, many times, I mentioned 366 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,744 I had an eye-doctor appointment to get my eye scraped. 367 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,846 I have already taken the medication, 368 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,848 and it's ripping through my system, 369 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,050 so we need to be brisk with this. 370 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:32,585 Let's just do it. 371 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:36,156 * And I got to go 372 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,058 * I should do better or different than this * 373 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,227 No [bleep] kidding. 374 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,596 "I Got to Go", take 15. 375 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,199 I got to go, take 20. 376 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,768 * I've got to go 377 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,002 Aah! 378 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:53,406 * I got to hail a pumpkin coach * 379 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,209 [Bleep] sake. Take 22. 380 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:59,011 * I want to go 381 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:02,081 * I want to go to the eye doctor now * 382 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:05,818 * As previously stated, you pompous beta males * 383 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,721 I got to go take 27. 384 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,823 You know what? I'm just gonna go. 385 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,859 I hope you all have terrible lives. 386 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,862 Thank you. Wonderful job, orchestra. 387 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,531 And I worry we pushed her too far. 388 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,500 Actors have a point where over-noting 389 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,001 can almost hurt the performance. 390 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,604 Listen, she'll be back, and she'll be great. 391 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:28,241 If there's two things I know, it's women and exactly what's 392 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,377 going to happen in the future. 393 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:38,451 [Instruments tuning] 394 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:49,229 * So I got to go 395 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,831 * If I don't go, I'm gone 396 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,201 * My life's past midnight 397 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:57,003 * I got to go 398 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:59,672 * Where there's breakfasts and crosswords * 399 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:05,778 * And "see ya tomorrow"s after the night * 400 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:12,819 * I got to go, I got to, I got to go * 401 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,255 * The world is a question 402 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,491 * This room is an answer 403 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:21,594 * And the answer is no 404 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:28,635 * I got to go, I got to be free * 405 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:31,904 * Me! 406 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:38,945 * Donna Bloom! 407 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,219 Oh! 408 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,087 Simon: Patty, honey, it's Simon. 409 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,157 You took that right off the page, and you made it soar. 410 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,826 Patty, Patty, come in here. We want you to listen to this. 411 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,663 C-Come listen inside. 412 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,931 Oh, the poor girl, she's blind as a bat. 413 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,467 [Instruments clattering] 414 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:07,907 Alright. The moment we've all been waiting for. 415 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,342 The last song. 416 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,578 This is the last song of "Coop". 417 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:12,679 -"Co-Op". -"Co-Op"! 418 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,046 -"Co-Op". -"Co-Op". Excuse me. 419 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,350 It has been a long 24-hour recording session, 420 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,819 and you all got terrible reviews, 421 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:23,823 and the show is closed, but you know what? 422 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:27,226 Let it go. That's my gift to you. 423 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,728 Simon: And we need to clear the space. 424 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,163 That's right. Poco's coming in to record an album, 425 00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,599 so we got to move fast. Simon, 426 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,066 was there anything you wanted to say? 427 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,502 When you lean into a rhyme, 428 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,670 you shatter the emotional tone of the lyric. 429 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,238 It's like nails on a blackboard to me, 430 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,507 and I love you all. 431 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,241 Beautiful. Alright. Let's roll tape. 432 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,110 Five, six, seven, eight... 433 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,879 Excuse me! Wait! Damn it, kid! 434 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,648 You pushed my buttons. 435 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:52,785 You literally pushed every elevator button. 436 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:59,058 * Awful lot of spunk, what a little punk * 437 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,495 * Hits every goddamn floor, runs out the door * 438 00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:04,497 * I knew that that kid stunk 439 00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:06,533 * From one look at birth 440 00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,436 * I knew this day would come 441 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,705 * Now he's a hoodlum 442 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,445 Going down? 443 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:20,212 * We are going up 444 00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:21,748 Are you certain? 445 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,149 * Yep 446 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,518 * Adam Klein, that prick pulled a little trick * 447 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,920 * Ugh, when will he grow up? * 448 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:31,157 * Kids like that don't grow up, no * 449 00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,560 * They shoot up and die! 450 00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:36,996 * Man, you're an angry guy 451 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:38,598 * I know 452 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:43,169 * All I ever wanted was to not be a doorman * 453 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,338 * Maybe play for the Yankees * 454 00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,707 * Or be wealthy in general * 455 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,509 * But we don't get what we want * 456 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:53,413 * So we must love what we get * 457 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:56,816 * Would you like to go out socially? * 458 00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,686 Uh, down? 459 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,988 * No, we're going up 460 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,591 * Some [bleep] kid pushed every floor * 461 00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:09,662 * But come and ride because it's merrier with more * 462 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,731 * Yes, we're going up 463 00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:14,166 * Up to the penthouse in the sky * 464 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:19,338 * All 'cause little Adam Klein's a shitty guy * 465 00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:22,875 * Yes, we're going up 466 00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:27,647 Moving? 467 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,417 * Moving so to speak 468 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,052 * Not to be oblique 469 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:36,322 * But the truth is I live somewhere else * 470 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,824 * It's unique 471 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:43,663 * Til today I was lately a home-wrecking sneak * 472 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:47,834 * It was pretty bleak 473 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,503 Going down? 474 00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,405 Ha! Here's the bastard now. 475 00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:54,273 -Jesus Christ! -* Have you any shame? 476 00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:57,009 -* Oh, my God -* This the guy that cheats? 477 00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:58,244 * And I've the receipts 478 00:22:58,277 --> 00:23:00,179 * And his tipping is lame 479 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:06,385 * Does the whole co-op suddenly know my affairs? * 480 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:08,320 * Care to take the stairs? 481 00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:09,589 Ha, the stairs. 482 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,157 Yeah, right, I hate the stairs. 483 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:13,760 I mean, going down them isn't the worst, but going up... 484 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:17,196 Stairs in either direction is a nightmare. 485 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,198 God, I love elevators. 486 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,833 God, I love this co-op. 487 00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:22,234 All: Me, too! 488 00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:23,503 Me, three! 489 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:24,771 * Yes, we're going up! 490 00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:27,674 * Co-ops crudely cooperate 491 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:32,344 * It's a hassle, but still somehow kind of great * 492 00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:35,147 * So we're going up 493 00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:37,316 * In this rising purgatory 494 00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:42,154 * Checking in on everyone and every story * 495 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:44,223 * Yes, we're going up 496 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,526 * And the brown and beige and the brown and the beige* 497 00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:52,331 -* And the brown -* Yes, we're going up! 498 00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:55,535 * And the brown and beige and the brown and the beige * 499 00:23:55,568 --> 00:23:57,670 * And the brown and beige and the brown and the beige * 500 00:23:57,704 --> 00:24:02,374 * Co-op, I love you! 501 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:07,647 ** 502 00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:16,222 ** 503 00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:25,031 **