IAIN STIRLING: Welcome to Love island Unseen Bits
With four new bombshells...
BOTH: G'day, mate!
CHEERING
..and three Islanders dumped. Anna-May and Haris.
But now, it's time to go... # Bonkers! #
It's Saturday, put on your glad rags, grab a drink...
Do you want a tea out the dog's bowl?
..and dance like no-one's watching. If in doubt, dance like Will.
CHANTING
It's time to spin, jump around and move it.
As our Islanders do big noo-noos.
What is a noo-noo? Is it a vagina?
Wow, this lot are bonkers. # Bonkers! #
So hold on tight... Argh!
..free your spirit animals...
THEY SCREAM Ow.
It's time to embrace all things bonkers.
BURPS You're a badass bitch.
This is Love Island Unseen Bits.
# We're in this villa In South Africa! #
LAUGHTER
# You gotta believe when I say
# Trust in me Cos I'll always be there. #
IAIN: Welcome to Love Island Unseen Bits.
And we hip. Hip, hip, hip. And we hip. And we hair.
And we get down to the floor.
It's time to look at things through a different lens
and see another side of your Islanders.
Love it. It's all good?
You wanna stay there? THEY CHUCKLE
Here at Unseen Bits, we're edgy.
HE GASPS
Oh, my God, thank you. Thank you. Oh! Ooh!
We just dive straight in and shock you.
SHE SCREAMS Whoa!
LAUGHING: It's gone now.
HE LAUGHS It's gone now.
And we're never scared to question the unquestionable.
I think it's weird how everyone says,
"Do you wanna come for a chat?" instead of summat else.
What do you mean?
Like, how everyone says, "Do you wanna come for a chat?"
Instead of, "Do you wanna come and talk?" or summat like that.
You can say, "Do you wanna come and talk?" if you want.
So sit back for the next hour...
Oh, my God! Will!
..and let the Bits do the talking.
Yes!
# I will always be there. #
Here in South Africa, we have a huge team
of full-time professionals coming up with all sorts of fun
and original games and challenges for our Islanders to play.
However, after seeing this unseen clip,
I don't know why they bother.
Oh, I like that game where you say, like, say, like, countries
that start with this or colours that start with this
and the person that's out's out. When you go round. We can do that.
That's, like, you have to be smart for that though, man. Innit?
What, countries that start with a C?! I'm not that smart, like.
Will, you're not smart? Colombria. Colombria?!
LAUGHTER
She made up a country there. I have never been there, Colombria.
LAUGHING: Colombia! I've never been there before, what's it saying?
All right, let's start associations. Go on, you start, Lana.
Erm... Swimming. Pool.
Hot. Wet.
Summer. Chlorine.
How is summer and chlorine...? You're in a pool.
Chlorine's in a pool. You're out! Shaq, you're out.
Nah, that's not fair! Can I carry on? Chlorine. Strong.
Weak. What?
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
He said nothing. He was, like, "Uh-uh-uh..."
It was stuck in my belly. I was trying to get it out. "Ut! Ut!"
Right, start again, then.
Shall I just pick a new one now? Yeah.
All right. Er... villa.
Love.
Love Island.
Graft.
ALL: Wahey!
On job.
Game.
Olivia.
LAUGHTER
Yes, honey. Yes.
Jealous.
O-o-o-oh!
IAIN: I love word association games so much.
I'm gonna play it with myself. OK, I'll start.
New. Exclusive.
Unseen. Cabbage.
D'oh, it's harder than it looks. Roll VT.
Now, we send our Islanders on loads of dates
during their stay in the villa,
but we never stop to ask them what they'd like to do.
Until now.
Ron, what do you like to do on a first date?
And keep it clean.
I'd wanna do stuff that I... I'd wanna do proper fun stuff, I think.
Yeah. And then food.
And a few drinks. Yeah.
And then see what happened after the drinks.
LAUGHTER
So, what do you drink? What's your go-to?
I do love a pint. I love a pint. Do you?
Strawberry daiquiri? In the summer.
Espresso martini.
No. Cos I don't drink coffee. I don't.
Are you joking? You've literally got a coffee right now.
I say I don't drink coffee, but I don't really count it
cos it's an ice coffee and I feel like a little bit of a kid.
Fair enough. Taste it, it's actually really shit.
I thought you were gonna say really nice.
What milk is it? Low-fat.
I don't drink milk.
You don't drink milk? No.
You have milk in your coffee. I made you one this morning.
With normal milk? No, it was oat milk.
Yeah. That's milk.
No, it's oat milk.
I don't drink normal milk. OK.
Well, you know it's got the word "milk" in it,
so you know it's a milk, right? Are you joking?
Otherwise they'd just call it oat cream or, like, oat liquid.
Not oat milk.
Do you know normal milk comes from a cow?
Yeah, obviously. So, where does oat milk come from?
I'm not even gonna bother. It comes from oats.
Yeah, but it's still a version of milk. But it just comes from oats.
Rather than cows. No, but the difference is one comes from cows.
Yes. And one is oats.
Yes, but they're still called milk.
You're silly. That's not right. I don't know. Do you know what?
I feel like I've got dumber, talking to you. I actually do.
Agh! What are you doing?
IAIN: No, Lana, Ron is correct.
They actually make oat milk by squeezing the teeny, tiny udders
on the oats every day into a teeny, tiny bucket.
You learn something new every time on this show.
Remember when Tom and Olivia were coupled up together?
Nah, me neither. Well, here's an unseen bit.
I think you're a top girl, and I genuinely want the best for you.
Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah.
100%. It's a roller-coaster.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Hmm. Yeah.
Do you like hairy legs? No.
Do you not? Hmm...
So you'd rather me shave them? My mum would go mad.
Your mum would go...? I would never shave my legs.
OK, not like... No, they're OK. Why?
I don't like a really hairy chest, though,
so I'm glad your chest isn't that hairy.
What, do you think that's enough? Yeah.
But that length is the same as yours.
Excuse me! You're so rude.
I'm only kidding.
IAIN: Eagle-eyed Unseen Bits viewers
may have noticed Olivia sitting on the yellow beanbag.
Cue the drama!
With the Oscars fast approaching,
we had a blockbuster re-coupling of our own earlier this week
as the girls chose their men.
Tom.
And as the curtain fell on David's time in the villa...
CHEERING
..here's some behind-the-scenes footage
of our starlets preparing for their big moment in the spotlight.
I can't look like shit cos then none of the boys are gonna want me.
Not that it's their choice.
Don't you just love being in the power?
I wonder if anyone's gonna be in the doghouse, then.
We don't know what's gonna happen.
IAIN: They were going to make a big entrance
by walking down a red carpet, but Olivia decided to wear it instead.
Aw. That is gorgeous.
I love.
Ooh, with the gloves as well.
You pull it off.
Yeah, that is really nice. That is really, really nice.
And the winner for Best Drama,
Filmed In Black And White In Silence And In A Villa, is...
SILENT MOVIE PIANO
IAIN: Lying in bed may not seem the best place
for an English lesson, but this unseen bits shows
there is never a bad time to learn a new word.
I can't believe you've never heard of a "noo-noo".
Like, something you sleep with. A noo-noo's a fanny.
A what? SHE CHUCKLES
What did you say? Fannies?
That's what a noo-noo is! A fanny? Is it?!
I don't think it is, you know.
LAUGHING: It is!
Cos I've just called it a noo-noo my whole life.
Ask them what a noo-noo is.
Ask the girls. What... What is a noo-noo?
What's a noo-noo? What's a noo-noo?
A noo-noo. What would you say noo-noo is?
Is it a vagina? I told you!
I thought it meant like, "noonie". Like, that's a vagina, bro.
I have a blanket which I used to call "Noo-noo".
No, I swear it's a vagina. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, maybe it... Maybe.
IAIN: I had a comfort blanket when I was a kid, too.
Mine was called "My Mingie".
What's so funny about that?!
My secret stash of sweets went walkabout earlier this week
after this lot stole my wine gums.
Oi! I want them back!
Wow, hasn't Tanyel got hairy legs?
SHAQ LAUGHS
All right, put it on my head,
I'll see if I can get it in my mouth without, like...
Oh, wait, shall we try and do it without moving...?
OK, go on. All of us? Right, cool.
No, but how did they do this? OK.
Wait, now let's watch each other do it.
Hey! OK, I need to try... Aw fu...
I did it! No.
It went in my mouth, what do you mean, "no"?
I had Botox, so I can't do much. Aw, for...
THEY LAUGH
I can't! I had Botox! Move, man, move!
Move, man. Nah, that's so funny.
Try this one, as well.
What is that?
SHE GASPS Eurgh!
KAI AND SHAQ LAUGH
Tanyel was like this, yeah,
she was like, "I thought I was just staying still."
So, Tanyel's had Botox. The boys didn't look surprised.
Then again, neither did Tanyel.
These male Islanders have bulging biceps, rippling muscles
and physiques comparable to bronze gods.
But they also are pretty clever, too.
Here's an unseen bit of Tom and Haris counting from 11
up to... a-argh!
Come on, come on, come on. 11, 12...
Come on, come on. TOM BREATHES HEAVILY
13, 14, come on, 15, perfect.
16, 17... I want 20. 18, 19...
Argh! Come on!
SHOUTING: One more, come on! Argh!
Argh!
Yes! BOTH: Argh! Argh!
After pumping iron, Tom moved on to pumping Olivia - not like that!
OLIVIA: Oh, my God. Wow.
Haris, you after. See if you can do it.
Aw. I've had a gym sesh.
OLIVIA CLEARS THROAT
TOM: So, that's it, there? Yeah.
Ready?
SHE CHUCKLES Argh!
Go on, bro. Argh!
Whoo! Well done, boys. Will?
Go on, Will can do it. I've just been smashing chest.
Come on, nah, you can do it.
Come on, Will. Right, straight back.
You stay there. Go on, get on him. Go on. Go on!
LAUGHTER
Nah, I've been training chest!
LAUGHTER I've been training chest!
IAIN: I'd like to remind everyone watching,
Islanders are not gym equipment.
Time to cool off after that workout with a quick shower.
But Lana has beaten me to it. But what happened next?
# Can I be honest?
# I still want your hands Up on my body
# You still make my heart... #
CHEERING
IAIN STIRLING: This is Unseen Bits,
where we're popping the pimple of pomposity
and squeezing the last out of this week's villa action.
I should actually get a job in this, you know.
Do you love it? Popping spots, yeah.
Guaranteed to put a spring in your step...
Whoo! I made it.
..have you jumping for joy... Ah! You're so tall.
..and keep you on your toes, with all the highbrow chat
from the last week.
Imagine having, erm, hands for feet and feet for hands.
I'd rather have hands for feet and hands for hands.
But what you gonna do with feet and feet?
LAUGHTER
# Put your hands up on my body. #
IAIN: Before the break, we saw a very clean unseen clip
of Lana about to take a shower.
And I left you hanging high and dry.
Well, here's what happened next.
SHOWER SPRAYING
Ooh.
So, the shower's just exploded on me, but I can't get in
to turn it off because I've done my hair and make up.
I'll have a look.
Pfft! SHE LAUGHS
Fucking hell.
SHE LAUGHS
Oh. Tom. Ooh.
Pass me something else. Quick, quick.
Argh, fuck. OK, can you get in with that, quick?
Ugh. Thanks, Tom.
LAUGHING: That's all right.
I'm not gonna lie, the bathroom's, like... Oh!
Honestly, that was drama. HE CHUCKLES
IAIN: Yes, there will be drama
if we don't get our deposit back for the villa.
Earlier this week, the Islanders had a pool party,
but no good party goes to waste on Love Island without a big twist.
And the villa was rocked by two new arrivals -
Jessie and Aaron from Down Under, who came to get lucky.
BOTH: G'day, mate!
Shit. Hello.
Of course, we were always gonna use
the most obvious Australian cliches, ever.
But pinky promise, I won't use any more.
And as the Islanders settled down to get to know
their Australian "neighbours"...
NEIGHBOURS THEME TUNE PLAYS
OK, I lied.
# Everybody needs Good neighbours... #
..say g'day to Harold the Unicorn from Brisbane
and flamingo twins Madge and Charlene from Sydney.
AS HAROLD: G'day, Sheila. I got the horn. Give us a kiss.
AS CHARLENE: My name's Charlene, you bleedin' drongo.
Right, that's too many broken hearts.
And terrible accents for one week.
Do you wanna come Bondi? Tom, put a cork in it.
Maybe borrow one off Jessie's hat. Oh, sorry.
Huh? Do you wanna go Bondi?
Bonda? Bondi Beach. Oh, Bondi.
I thought you said "bunda". That's what I said.
I thought you said Bunda Beach. Where the fuck is that?
Can I go there? LAUGHTER
I was like, I love going there. LAUGHTER
G'day, mate. G'day, mate.
That's actually pretty good. Thanks, babe.
IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: I'm just here with my mate Jessie and Sheila.
LAUGHTER Fuck Sheila.
I can do a good Australian accent, me. Go on.
Give us an Australian accent. Go. Whatever comes to mind.
BAD AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: Foster's, get some Australian in you.
THEY CHUCKLE
I do not sound like that. No, you don't, that's an Australian accent.
SHE LAUGHS
Go again. You tell me something...
Say... I'll say it how you say it.
.."I'm Tom and I'm on Love Island."
I'm Tom... THEY LAUGH
AMERICAN ACCENT: I'm Tom and I'm on Love Island.
THEY LAUGH That's American!
IAIN ATTEMPS AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: My name is Iain and I'm on Love Island.
Yeah, nailed it. Absolutely nailed it.
"What's in a name?" They say.
Well, have a look at this unseen clip to find out.
Tom, is your name Thomas or Tom? Thomas.
Aw, Thomas with a T-H?
My family call me Thomas, like, it'd feel weird them calling me Tom.
I might call you Thomas. My mum will be like, "You all right, Thomas?"
Or stuff like that.
My full name is Thomas Patrick Clare.
Aw. That's cool. Thomas Clare.
It's short for Clareson.
Do I look like I have a normal last name or an out-there one?
What kind of question is that?
How do you look at someone and say,
"You look like you've got a weird last name."
Go on, what's your last name? Robey.
Robey? Anna-May Robey. That's nice.
Have you got a middle name? No.
Have you? What's your full name, Shaq?
Ishq Mustafa Mikayo Muhammad.
What?! That's a very, like, strong name.
Ishq Mustafa...? ..Mustafa Mikayo Muhammad. Sick.
Oh, wow.
What's yours, bro? Kai Antonio James Fagan. What?!
Kai Antonio James Fagan? Yeah.
Antonio? That's sick.
If your name was Antonio, I would expect you to be a gigolo.
A gigolo? What's that? Fuckin' hell, mate. Cheers (!)
What's that? Why, what's a gigolo?
IAIN: Shakespeare once wrote, "What's in a name
"that which we call a rose by any other word
"would smell as sweet?"
I have no idea what he was on about.
Earlier in the week, our Aussie bombshells,
Scott and Charlene, I mean Jessie and Aaron,
had a series of hot dates.
It was a beautiful setting
and the dates looked absolutely stunning.
A lot of prep and hard work goes into these dates,
and you don't normally get to see behind-the-scenes,
but I'm going to give you a sneaky peek
at all those involved in making these dates possible.
Let's have a gander.
GEESE GABBLE
Here they come, the producing team waddling along.
They have spent weeks scouring the countryside
looking for the perfect spots.
And look, there's Gina, Gordon, Gail, Grace, George, Gavin, Gladys
and, of course, Gideon.
Well done, guys, fantastic settings, lovely stuff.
Props to the runner, who is utterly unflappable.
And what fantastic work from our very own
Director Of Photography.
Thanks, mate, it all looks so beautiful on the screen.
And lastly, let's have the director take a bow.
You may think having these geese producing these dates
gave farmer boy Will an unfair advantage,
but that's just proper-gander.
Anyway, here's an unseen clip of Will and Jessie's date.
Do alpacas spit on people? They do, yeah, they do. Thought so.
I feel like... GEESE HONK
Sorry, what is that?
It's wishing me luck.
IAIN: That was our sound guy, who always wants the last word.
Yeah, thanks, Ryan... Gosling.
On Love Island, you're being watched the whole time,
so it's always good to put your best foot forward.
And being a model, that's something Zara knows all about.
Zara, you need to teach me how to walk.
I know, your walk is mad. Yeah.
You, like, strut. You don't walk, you strut.
Sort of, lead with the hips.
I have no hips. Just, like, pop it.
I don't think I can do that. I've got no hips to pop.
Everyone's got hips, everyone's got hips.
Know you're a bad bitch.
Think about all the Victoria's Secret models. How do I do it?
They're slim, sexy, and their walk is like, boom, boom.
They know they are bad bitches. Yeah! Actually, I could be a model.
Everyone here is bad bitches in this room. I could be bad bitch.
You are a bad bitch, Lana!
Walk with the purpose of a bad bitch.
I'm just gonna walk like this from now on.
Tanyel knows she's a bad bitch. Yeah, walk...
SHE LAUGHS
Are you OK?!
Does this look natural? Right, ready?
Does this look...
Right, so you know you pulled me to the daybeds, right?
Does this look natural?
LAUGHTER
She's like this...
She was trying her best, bless her,
but here, Paris ain't gonna be seeing Anna-May any time soon.
Even Milan, baby, no, no, no. THEY LAUGH
# I'm a bitch, I'm a boss... #
No, I'm trying to walk sexy like Zara.
Ooh. Yes!
Hips, hips, hips. Love it.
Ooh! Yeah, she knows. Mine was too much.
Is that more subtle? LAUGHTER
Anna-May. You've got to be more, like, chilled out a bit.
She wasn't taking my advice,
I was trying to say, "Show less shoulders, hips,
"sexy, eyes, like, strut."
Let's go!
LAUGHTER
Wait, why are you practising? Cos I feel like I walk like...
I feel like I just walk like this. LAUGHTER
Arse, arse, attitude, attitude. Yes, yes.
Hips, and pose. Like, yeah. Yes!
IAIN: With Eurovision being held in the UK
for the first time in donkeys' years,
our very own band of boys are hard rehearsing their original song
for the girls.
Wait, I need to be in the middle cos I do the...
THEY SING UNDER THEIR BREATH
Fuck it, improvise. You go, I'll go, I'll do the one...
I'll go after you. And then you go.
OK. Right, we'll just do a little spin?
CLICKING
ALL: # Love Island
# Love Island
# Love Island, Love Island
# Baby, baby, baby, now! # LAUGHTER
Is that it? Yeah.
They done this for ages the other day,
it gave me such a headache. We haven't got any more lyrics.
We need Will, don't we? We need Will, he's the one with the lyrics.
IAIN: Now, grab Will, have a practice,
and let's see what you come up with later at my Judge's House.
IAIN: This is Unseen Bits...
# Light up my life... #
..the show where we give you pure, raw video stream action
from the world's most talked-about villa.
We're in the wild of Africa searching for the big five...
ALL: Two, three, on job!
..hearing the distant cries of the savannah...
Ow!
..and getting close-up to the wildlife.
TANYA SQUEALS, ZARA SQUEALS
TANYA SQUEALS, THEY LAUGH
It's gone, it's gone, it's gone.
So close, you can almost feel it.
What about you, Will? How was it with my couple?
Fucking chilling, mate, I'm not even gonna lie,
I've been sleeping with boys, haven't I? So...
LAUGHTER
Nah, I'm buzzing that you're still here, man.
Yeah, same, man, really respect it.
You boys shared a lot of love last night, it was really nice.
You know, he's her way in, do you know what I mean?
She's got to be respectful for you, he's her way in.
Erm... But yeah, it's all sound, innit?
I'm glad to be here, at the end of the day.
Honestly, I thought it was a fucking fly!
That was doing my head in!
IAIN: Nah, mate, it was only a stick insect.
In this next unseen clip, Will looks freezing from the air-con,
when in fact, his ears should be burning
as Jessie and Aaron are having a right gossip about him.
Fucking walks out... Look at this lad!
WOLF WHISTLES
He is smitten over you, Jessie. I think...
I think he's a really genuine guy. He is. He's just so funny.
Just wanna put him in my suitcase and take him back to Australia.
He's not small, though, I don't think you'd be able
to just fit him in the suitcase, but I know what you mean.
He's pretty bendy, I've seen the way he dances!
LAUGHTER
But he looks shredded as fuck, too. He does, yeah, he does. Big boy.
Fucking handling sheep all day. I know.
He knows we're watching.
He fucking loves it, too.
# All eyes on me! #
There we go, he's got the attention.
Waiting for him to, like, make a sound.
In three, two, one...
He's gonna have a big look over in a second.
And look over.
Fix the hair, fix the hair.
Is he dancing? Stretch. There we go. There.
THEY LAUGH
He's just so funny.
He doesn't do anything and he's just funny.
IAIN: You don't do anything and you're still funny, Will.
You've got the perfect stand-up act.
I know for a fact there are no mugs in this villa.
Let's have some. LAUGHTER
So the boys are improvising using bowls.
I'm gonna go and make a cup of tea anyway.
Get me a bowl as well.
Anna-May would never stoop that low.
Will, you're so funny. They're all drinking tea with a bowl!
THEY LAUGH Oh, she is.
This is how they're drinking their tea.
Drinking his peppermint tea.
LAUGHTER
IAIN: Hey, Will, be a proper British gent
and make Jessie a steaming hot cup of tea.
Do you want a tea out of the dog's bowl?
Is that what you're actually having? Yeah, honestly.
Do you want one? I actually do. Yeah?
How bad is this? We're drinking tea out of a fucking dog's bowl.
It's too hot.
So, this is what I'm gonna make you in the morning.
IAIN: Actually, Will, that's my lucky chamber pot
I use when I can't get out of my voice-over booth.
I've had it since series one.
Earlier, we saw our Islanders resorting
to drinking from dog bowls,
which sparked another conversation about our canine friends.
I wanna have a dog called Wayne.
I've always wanted to have a Rottweiler called Wayne.
Why? Don't know. That's, like, the most random thing.
Yeah, I know.
I'm more about, like, cute, little fluffy dogs.
SHE SNORTS Nah.
I'd have, like, a... I dunno, I like my dog.
I'd have, like, a little pocket dog. I love my dog. She's a cockapoo.
She's, like, a little fluffy thing. But I want a big dog.
Why, though? I just want a big dog.
D'you not think they're, like, dead sweaty, though, big dogs?
What d'you mean?
That's what puts me off having a big dog.
What d'you mean "sweaty"?
Like, it just feels like, they just get the stink,
because you don't wash all the time.
You can clean the dog, though, mind.
Are big dogs stinky?
Let's ask our resident animal expert, the big dog himself, Will.
I love when my dog gives me kisses. I love it, mate.
I like a dog's kiss. Do you know what is the most?
Getting into bed, yeah, and at home, I go, "Rupee, Eva!"
Did you have dogs upstairs, did you? Yes, mate.
FAKE GAGGING Hairs in all your bed and that?
Aw, bruv. Shut up. And then I just give them cuddles like this. Mm!
Do you kiss your dogs? Yes! Do you let them lick your face?
Yes! Fuck that.
Bro, I'm a farmer. I'd let them. As long as you're washing.
Dirty, that.
I'm not saying, "Aw, I'll let them put their tongue into my mouth."
Like... Yeah, I'm not like actually lipsin' them,
do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I'm not lipsin' the dog. I'm just letting it give me a kiss,
and then I'll give it a kiss on the cheek,
and we'll go into the sunset or something.
Nah, bruv. What's your dogs' names, Ron?
They was Stanley and Olive. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.
Stanley and... What about yours?
I've got RuPaul, after, like, RuPaul's Drag Race.
CHUCKLING: Yeah. And Eva, Bella and Skye.
Fuckin' hell, you've got loads, then.
You've got fuckin'... Mate, your house must fucking stink.
You've got so many animals about.
I ain't coming to your house if your house stinks.
He said there was bare rats on the farm as well.
I don't live in the fucking bales!
LAUGHTER I'm sorry, you're not going to...
Me and my family have made a fort out of hay bales,
and it's like, "Yeah, come in, like, come under this sheet with 'em."
Yeah, because he ended up blowing it down.
LAUGHTER
THEY IMITATE BLOWING
IAIN: Will's life is one big fairy story.
You should hear about the time he sold the family cow
for a handful of magic beans.
Time in the Love Island villa allows our Islanders
to sit around in bikinis, sunbathe
and ponder the deepest questions of life. Like...
Will, you'll know this answer.
Do you know that cake they used to make in primary school,
with the sprinkles? With sprinkles on top...
like sponge. What's it called?
Victoria sponge. Victoria sponge, yeah.
No, but it's got a name.
Isn't it just called, like, school... It's a Victoria sponge.
No! That's the name. But it's got a specific name.
Rice crispy cake? No.
No, it's Victoria sponge. He's right.
It is a Victoria sponge.
Right, this chat needs moving on
before they start talking about soggy bottoms.
TEXT ALERT Oh! I've got a text!
CHEERING Whey!
Yes, it was one of those challenge texts -
and you know me, I like to keep my hashtags slightly cryptic.
"Hashtag full thrust." CHEERING
Full thrust!
So, what is it, like? I think we're gonna be thrusting.
Why did it say thrusting? We're gonna be doing, like...
Will! We need a dance lesson, quickly. Yeah, all right.
How do you thrust? Like, what the hell?
Yeah, come on, show us. All right, then. Come on.
You just wanna get limber, so shake out the legs. Yeah?
Shake. Arms. You don't wanna be pulling any muscles in this.
What is he...? I feel like I should be joining them.
We put our right foot out. And then you wanna go...
It's all in the hips. You just wanna pop.
Do you know what I mean? Pop, like...
Imagine you've got a willy and you're pumping.
LAUGHTER And you're pumping it, OK?
We kind of just started off with just, like, you know, just...
just a little, gentle one.
Do we have to go forward? Can't we go side to side?
Pump. Do you know what I mean? Ooh, pump. Pop.
And then when you get a bit limber,
you can just start, like, whacking it about.
# Sexy and I know it... #
I mean, if you're feeling sexy, if you're being sexy and, you know,
you feel like you are being sexy, then, baby, you ARE sexy!
# This is how I roll Come on, ladies
# It's time to go, we headed to the Bar, baby, don't be nervous
# No shoes, no shirt And I still get service (watch)... #
I think it really proved it in the challenge.
# Girl, look at that body I-I-I work out... #
CHEERING
Oh, no!
Zara smashed it. She's got that...
She's got it in her hip, and with her obviously winning...
Zara! CHEERING
Don't wanna take full credit myself, you know? I can't do that.
However, I will take some.
# I'm sexy and I know it. #
IAIN: let's see how our very own boy band are getting on
with their Eurovision song now that Will has rejoined the band.
This is as big as if Harry Styles and One D did a stadium tour.
Or maybe not.
ALL: # Love Island The place to fall in love
ALL: # The place to fall in love
# The place to find the one The place to find the one
# It's time to sexy dance It's time to sexy dance
# It's time to be on job Time to be on job
# Six foot three and stacked It's the Shaq attack
# Girl of my dreams The one for me
# A beautiful bomb It won't be long
# Love Island, Love Island
# Love Island, Love Island. #
ALL CHEERING
I think we should make it longer. ALL TALK AT ONCE
And then let's go into a rap.
RAPS: # Yeah, we're in this villa In South Africa... #
LAUGHTER
IAIN: I hear there's a rival girl band
wanting to steal the lads' thunder and claim Eurovision fame.
This is gonna be one bitter rivalry.
But you'll have to keep watching to find out.
MUSIC: 'Dreamer' by Livin' Joy
IAIN STIRLING: This is Unseen Bits,
where we are showering you with top-flight exclusive unseen action.
Get ready, get ready!
IAIN: We bring you the best bants...
I love talking to myself. Me too.
What do you say to yourself in the mirror?
"You're a badass bitch."
IAIN: ..the funkiest farmer...
..and found footage of the fellas freezing off their family jewels.
I don't know whether to go a bit deeper, but I know it's cold.
Ooh! THEY LAUGH
Ah! It makes your dick shrink because it's so cold. Yeah.
I bet it's inside of me.
Oh, my... Fuck!
Oh, my knackers. RON LAUGHS
IAIN: Earlier, Will was remembering the story of the Three Little Pigs.
Well, here he is telling Jessie a brand-new story of his own.
A tale of the two pigs.
I've got, like, two pet pigs. Yeah.
Timon and Pumbaa.
And they're, honestly, like, my world, they're so sweet.
Are they little pigs or big pigs?
So, I actually got fuckin' scammed.
You got scammed with your pigs! I bought them as micro-pigs... OK.
And they kept growing.
..and they kept fucking growing and growing.
And then one day, they, like, came in and fucking destroyed the house,
destroyed my grandparents' plants, and everyone went mad. Oh, my God.
IAIN: Maybe our resident animal expert
is better with the wildlife Down Under.
I just think it's absolutely terrifying.
I'm terrified with the spiders on the farm,
I can't imagine going to Australia and seeing absolutely gigantic...
But the spiders that are big aren't harmful. Really?
They come inside to get away from the rain.
Oh, that's quite sweet, then, isn't it? Yeah, I know.
He just wants to be inside!
Yeah, but I bet they're like, fucking, this big.
They are big. I would literally be doing a runner, honestly.
IAIN: OK, how about a cute little grasshopper?
Agh! Argh!
You're good with animals, man.
A grasshopper.
That's a praying mantis, that could murk you.
A praying mantis.
It just tried to fight you! Oh, it did.
Oh, my God. It is so cute.
IAIN: Yeah, cute until it tries to eat your face off, Jessie.
You have been warned.
Up next is an unseen clip that once seen, can never be unseen.
Or unheard, it seems.
SPLASH Yay!
I love that sound, don't you? Huh?
I love the sound of someone bombing into the waves. Yeah.
You ever have that, like proper satisfying sounds? Yeah.
What would be your satisfying sound? It's sloshing for me.
You know what... Sloshing? What does that mean?
Yeah, you know like, if you put your hand in, like,
a load of liquid or a load of goo and it sloshes around?
Why would you do that?
You know kids' slime? Do you know what I like?
If you grab the slime and just slap it on the table.
What, like goo? It just goes...
Yeah. What's yours? I really... I have a thing, right,
it doesn't matter if I'm wearing them, it's fine,
but like, the thought of touching denim... really makes me cringe.
I proper like rain. Rain on, like, the ceiling.
Yeah, I like rain. Proper peaceful, innit?
IAIN: Hey, I like relaxing sounds too.
Like this one... SLAPPING
And this one... LIPS SMACKING
IAIN WHISPERS: So, Unseen Bit viewers,
sit back and relax.
Welcome to Iain Stirling's ASMR.
BUZZING
ASMR is massive on socials.
You know the ones.
Where people whisper and make loads of tappy, crunchy noises.
LOUD CRUNCHING
So relaxing.
SPLASHING
It is the intensely satisfying tingly sensation
that people feel when they hear certain sounds.
RAZOR BUZZES
AIR BLOWS
And there's lot of them in the villa.
And here are some of my favourites.
SNORES
WATER BUBBLES
POPPING
SCRUBBING
SQUEAKING
POW THEY LAUGH
THUD
BOING
WHOOSH, CLATTERING
HORN HONKS Oh!
CUSHION FARTS
WHEELS ROLLING
What's this sound?
Oh! It's the sound of Haris and Anna-May's suitcase
being wheeled out of the villa,
as they became the next Islanders to be dumped.
WAVES CRASHING
Huh? What's that?
Sounds like you two sipping cocktails
on a beach in South Africa.
Oi! Get on that plane back home!
# I said who... #
IAIN: This week on Love Island, we spiced things up
with a retro '90s party.
MUSIC: 'Who Do You Think You Are' by Spice Girls
By the end of the night, the Islanders were left shocked...
..when two new bombshells rocked up.
# Swing it, shake it Move it, make it
# Who do you think you are?... #
But let's whizz you back. No, not to the '90s,
but to when the only pressure on our Islanders' minds
was what to wear...
Whoo! Oh, my God. I love it.
..how to dance...
What about this?
Yes.
..and what to put on their reels, of course.
Right, so, we're fortunate enough to have a '90s-themed disco
to get groovy, y'all.
Who's excited? Boys in the back? Yeah!
Boom! Ah!
So, let's start off with Kai. Kai, are you excited...
You know me.
Are you excited for the '90s-themed disco?
I'm absolutely buzzing.
Yeah, yeah, that's what we love to hear.
And, moving on, Ronny-boy!
I'm just gonna go with a plain and simple...
# I'm a '90s baby, baby. # Ooh-ooh!
Ooh-ooh! The Shaq-attack!
Shaq-attack over here. Obviously, buzzing for tonight. '90s theme.
Mm-mm-mm-mm. Yes!
That's all we've got time for, ladies and gentlemen.
Tune in tomorrow! Let's go!
IAIN: Hang on, it's supposed to be the '90s.
Back then, that phone would have been three times the size,
with a battery the size of a modest terraced house.
OK, cue the cheesy game show music, as, yes, you've guessed it,
it's time for...
This week, I asked them to give me their best chat-up line.
Oh, God. I can't chat up guys.
Pfft! What?
You turn my software into hardware.
Agh!
Are you something out of ten?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only...
..ten I see.
LAUGHS, BLOWS RASPBERRY
There's no I... There's no I in...
If me and you were in the alphabet, I'd put...
.."U" and "I" together.
HE LAUGHS
Will said one to me the other day, but I can't remember what it is.
Oh, it's so hard being a single dad.
Like, my baby lambs are just looking for a mum.
And I was, like...
When guys come over to me and say...
"I swear I've seen you here before."
I'm like, "You haven't."
I was in the club and someone came up to me and said,
"You belong in the Louvre." And I didn't know what a Louvre was.
SHE CHUCKLES
Apparently, it's a museum.
Does that mean I'm old?!
No, I think he meant cos I was fit. SHE CHUCKLES
You're fit, that's looking, I'm loving your clothes,
but they would look better on my bedroom floor!
Do you have sunburn
or are you always that hot? HE CHUCKLES
Did we go to school together?
I swear we had chemistry.
Touch your toes and I'll show you where the rocket goes.
I heard dating's a numbers game. Can I get yours?
I just wanna, like, scream and, like, eat myself up,
do you know what I mean? They're so bad.
Oh! God, it's making me... I'm getting hot.
I'm actually getting hot just, like, thinking of chat-up lines.
I just don't... I feel I'm, like... Rar!
IAIN: Tune in later for another instalment of...
Now is the moment you've all been waiting for.
It's the world premier of our very own girl band
doing their take on the Love Island anthem.
Take it away.
# Love Island Love Island, Love Island
# Love Island, Love Island. #
Theirs is shit. Shall we boo 'em?
ALL: Boo-oo-oo!
GIRLS LAUGH
Oh, shut up! Shut up.
# Love Island, Love Island The place to find love... #
Shh!
# The place to find the one. #
Shall we boo now? ALL: Boo-oo-oo!
Losers! Losers! Losers!
IAIN: Calm down, guys, I doubt either of you
will be representing the UK in Eurovision.
Sadly for both bands, it's a no from me.
Tune in later for more Unseen Bits.
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com