IAIN STIRLING: This series brought broken hearts...
Look me dead in my eye. Do you love me?
..a gazillion dumpings...
Anna-May.
..and drama.
I knew you was looking nervous for a reason.
I told you exactly what I said. OK.
But tonight, it's time to go OUT out with a bang.
# Just watch me dance... #
In this series, we've seen hearts racing and hearts breaking.
I just can't even do it anymore.
They all got on job...
Oh. What?
..tickled our fancy... LAUGHTER
..and brought the drama.
I shit my pants.
This series has been a right scream...
SCREAMING
..with budding bromances...
All you guys do is look down on me!
..boisterous babies... LAUGHTER
..and totally bonkers chat.
Shut up! Shut up!
So, see the other side of your Islanders.
Ah!
That is not you wiping your bogey on me.
Grab a drink and join us for a toast.
Boys, it's been a pleasure.
Who really needs to go out out
when you can party with your besties at home?
I'm buzzing for it. I'm not gonna lie.
So get ready for a one-hour LOL-athon
as I guarantee you'll laugh out loud for the final time.
Oh!
This is Unseen Bits!
# Just watch me. # I love it!
you
# Nothing really matters But you... #
Welcome to the final episode
of Love Island: Unseen Bits this series.
This is the fun-packed sister show brimming with unseen exclusives
from the final week in the villa. So for the last time,
we're saying... BOTH: Hello!
..as we dive right in... SHRIEKING AND LAUGHTER
..and drop lyrical sneeze bombs... WILL SNEEZES TWICE
# MC Will Sneeze... # LAUGHTER
WILL SNEEZES AGAIN
# Oh, that's three That's a hat-trick. #
Get ready for an Unseen Bits finale full of surprises...
SHE SCREAMS
..which will break the rules...
Where are you going? You! Where do you think you're going?
Run away! Where do you think you're going?
..as we do the final countdown.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12...
So who wants it? I'll take it! I'll take it!
This could get emotional.
Are you in love with me? I am a little bit.
Just a little bit? A small bit? Let's make that little bit bigger.
# Nothing really matters But you... #
This is Love Island: Unseen Bits.
After two months in the villa,
our Islanders are enjoying some quiet reflection.
Not me, I haven't shaved since they went in,
which means my reflection looks like a scruffy hipster.
I fully can't believe we've been here from the start to now.
That is mad. Day one.
Did you think that... I remember his...
Do you know, his face is stuck in my head from when we walked in?
I just don't know why. He was grinning.
He was literally like this. Like... Guy was gassed to be on Love Island!
That's so funny.
Honestly, and I don't blame you, because I was gassed as well.
You looked so nervous when you first came in. Did I?
Yeah. I did, in my head I was like, "You don't know these people."
So that's why I was standing up tall.
Every minute, I'd be like... SHE EXHALES
I'm scared, right, to see my parents after being on here,
cos I don't want them to be like...
"You've been a little shit." "Kai..."
Cos I've never even swore in front of my parents.
Really? And you're here like,
"Leave me alone. I've not blown up, oh! Move!"
That is literally me. You are so good at impressions.
Do Ron, cos I think Ron might be hard one.
Like... He's literally like...
"Lana's it, like... Do you know what I mean?
"I say a lot, but I got this.
"You know what? Let me tell you something."
It's the movement.
"It's not even that deep. Who cares? Who's bothered?"
It's honestly the movement. Yeah, and his mouth is like...
"I'm a geezer."
Luke Kempner, if you're watching, Tanya is coming for your job.
As it's the final week,
I thought I'd take myself over to the beach hut
and chat to the Islanders myself. Hey, Casey.
Has someone come in?
No, of course not. No-one else is in the beach hut.
It is too small for that.
Look to the left. See? No-one's there.
Oh! Lad.
Here's the Three Musketeers best unseen bits. Roll VT.
MUSIC: 'It Must Be Love' by Madness
Tom and Will, everyone knows my boys in here.
We are literally like brothers.
Me, him and Tom have been the Three Musketeers.
Proper tight. Loving each other.
Girls rule, boys drool.
GRUNTING
Little did I know, when I was at the terrace and I saw this guy
playing with his hair, sat with all the girls with him and Jordan...
I didn't think I'd click with him like I have. No way.
A badger family carried us down into this underground.
You don't know about the mountain grabbers?
I swear I saw an alien.
Someone scouse-moused me. Yes.
FARTS That was you!
What?
# On the beanbags, We are the chill boys
# Chilling out over here Is what we do. #
I feel like I've met a brother for life.
Boys, it's been a pleasure. Cheers.
Unseen Bits viewers sent the internet into complete overdrive
last week, over Ron and Lana's relationship.
For the last two days, this one's been really swollen at the top.
Left for love, right for spite. Sorry... What?
So, this one... Left... Is this your left side?
Yeah. Left for love, right for spite.
That means that people have been talking about you.
Well, they have. Oh, it's been burning!
The last two days, it's been so swollen!
It's true. It's true. I need some more of this one.
And in every corner of the internet,
people had something to say on the subject.
I've never heard that, ever, in my life. Really? It's true.
I'm not sure it is, scientifically, but...
Well, I like to keep Unseen Bits viewers happy,
so here's more never-seen "Rana" clips.
Me and you are now one. We're now one, are we?
Mm-hm. Is that how you're gonna see it?
Yep. All right.
Everything I do, you have to do. No.
Everything I say, you have to obey.
SHE LAUGHS
Obey or agree with. Yeah. Comes with special privileges.
What are those? Dunno.
Special privileges are... being around me.
That's a special privilege. And you being around me.
We've actually got a relationship now.
Well, it's an official...
We had a relationship before, and now we've got, like,
a romantic relationship. Mm. I like it.
Once they were official,
it wasn't long before they were arguing about exes.
At the end of your texts, do you put anything?
What, like a kiss? Yeah.
It'd probably just be one. OK, that's fine.
I'd do a morning and a night one, but I can't be arsed in the day.
What do you mean "a morning and a night one"?
Like, if you say, "Morning", I'd probably send you a heart. Aww.
But not in the day. What? Yeah...
Cos I know some people that put, like, ten kisses. I'm like, "No."
Oh, God, no. Who's got time for that? Yeah...
If I like ya, I'll put one.
And then if I'm saying something soppy, then I'll put, like, two.
OK, cool. Just making sure we're on the same page.
Personally, I always sign off texts with a series of aubergine emojis.
It's a bad habit, but I can't help it.
GRANDIOSE MUSIC
The Islanders are often referred to as "the bold and the beautiful",
and this year, the villa has become the set of a new soap opera,
narrated by OG Villa Wife, Irene.
Take it away, Irene.
IN NASAL AMERICAN VOICE: There's heartache...
IN AMERICAN ACCENT: All you guys do is look down on me!
..drama...
IN AMERICAN ACCENT: Don't fucking talk about me!
..gossip...
IN AMERICAN ACCENT: You come in here, yapping like a little dog.
..and lies.
IN AMERICAN ACCENT: I think you're trying to throw me under the bus!
I've had enough of this!
Francis is cheating on you!
And she has done for the last two years!
SOBS: She's... She's doing what?! I don't believe you! You're a liar!
Francis... You don't mean that.
Francis has. No. Francis has.
Well... And d'you know what?
..the truth hurts.
Francis has been cheating on you by teeny tiny Casey.
Check the love bites, dude!
I honestly... I just can't even do it any more.
IAIN, AS OG IRENE: With Cassandra's affair exposed,
would this vixen reveal the secrets of the other villa wives
to save her own tattered reputation?
Why, sure she would.
Tell them, they need to know!
You're actually embarrassing. You're just making up stories.
They need to know what happened on December 13th at 7pm!
TITTERING
No. Tell them. You wouldn't.
Tell them. You wouldn't, dude.
Trust me, I would, and I'm going there.
CLICKS FINGERS
GRANDIOSE MUSIC CONTINUES
Next time, on Villa Wives:
Will Thomasina's secrets be revealed?
Tommy, what's he talking about?
Could it be a lovechild?
Ew, shut your mouth. You're done.
And a family at war.
I don't love the family any more. Where are your manners?
IAIN, IN NORMAL VOICE: Before the break,
here's a clip of Lana and Samie powdering their nose
in the dressing room.
YELLS: But what happens next?!
Answers on a postcard, or just wait till after the break.
# I'm gonna let that rain fall Over my head
# Cos everything is better With my friends... #
IAIN: Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits.
Oh, my God! Oh, my days!
GIRLS CHANT: Party!
We are like the after party to the main show's big events...
THEY BABBLE CHILDISHLY
..that moves to its own rhythm, with no bum notes...
Look, I sat on a wet thing. ..just a host of new sounds...
HE SNARLS
..to keep you all smiling.
Why does that look so fake?
What does? That smile. It was a bit, like...
Are you actually, like, a clone or something? Are you a robot?
I think he's a hologram. Are you, like, man made?
Have you had Botox?
LAUGHTER
What?!
Where? On my forehead? Yeah.
# Cos everything is better With my friends. #
IAIN: Before the break, we saw Lana and Samie getting ready
in the girl's dressing room.
Well, here's what happened next...
HAIRSPRAY HISSES
What the fuck? No. That just sprayed.
On its own.
LANA LAUGHS
Roll the tapes.
We have a Love Island ghost.
LANA LAUGHS
HALLOWEEN THEME MUSIC PLAYS
IN GRAVELLY VOICE: Be afraid. Be very afraid...
DEEP CACKLE
..of the phantom hairspray!
WOMAN SCREAMS
In the next unseen clip,
MasterChef Shaq is cooking up a storm in the villa kitchen.
Kai, do you want lamb chops? Yeah.
Will, do you want lamb chops? I'm gonna warm them all up.
Yeah, I'll have one. Yeah, do 'em. I'll have one.
Rosie will have one. I might have one.
LAUGHTER
The pescatarian is gonna eat lamb?!
Are you a pescatarian? Rosie...
Just don't say... Please. But you don't eat fish?
She has chicken every single day.
I've seen the girl munch chicken off the bone.
Why do they call you a pescatarian? Since when?
No, no, it's not what we call her. TOM: She says it.
No, you don't. She does.
No, you don't. No, I do. I just don't eat raw fish.
I'm a pescatarian that doesn't eat raw fish but eats chicken...
What?!
..and mincemeat, when I don't think about it.
Shut up. No, that's dumb. That's so silly.
And pepperoni on a pizza.
LAUGHTER
Do you?
She had a pepperoni pizza, but gluten free.
LAUGHTER
Yeah, and all this gluten and dairy free.
What chocolate do you have? Go on. DAIRY Milk.
LAUGHTER
Oh, you said you could only have the Dairy Milk. Yeah.
But it's got dairy in it.
LAUGHTER
I don't think you know. Don't think you've got a clue.
No, but jokes aside, I am actually pescatarian.
No, you're not... I am, actually.
You're gonna have a lamb chop in a minute.
It is actually called a chickatarian. What?!
I think you're off your head! Yeah, you are off your head. Yeah.
LAUGHTER
Anyway, I will have a lamb chop tonight.
IAIN: I feel for you, Rosie, being a chickatarian.
It must be hard ordering food in a restaurant
where you can only eat fish...
mince, pepperoni, chicken and lamb chops.
I'm surprised you don't starve.
# Go tell the weatherman I said I want... #
On Love Island, the sun is contractually obliged by ITV2
to shine down on our Islanders every day.
Oh. What?
# All the rain from last year's pain Is gone... #
Where's the sun?
But apparently, it asked for a pay rise, and ITV2 refused.
Jessie, where's the sun? I know, it's cold.
There's no sun.
So it seems the sun in South Africa's gone on strike.
And with no signs of it coming out to play any time soon,
our Islanders are having to stay indoors and amuse themselves,
which, in turn, is very amusing for us.
What three things would you take to the moon?
Would a football work? It would just come down a lot slower.
You'd take a football to the moon?
That would be sick, bro.
You could play, like, galactic football in space.
I'm gonna bring, like, 800kg barbell
and then lift world-record deadlift ever.
LAUGHTER
How would you get it on...?
How would you get it on the spaceship in the first place?
Get Eddie Hall and Thor, and get them to bring it on for me.
I'm gonna take some jerk chicken from Jerk Junction.
Oh, get some biltong.
Probably take some factor 50 so I don't burn.
Yeah, I think definitely some skinny jeans.
Skinny ripped jeans.
I'd take a Wi-Fi box and a phone.
Maybe Tom will take a winning mentality for once.
LAUGHTER
Tom wouldn't make it to the moon.
LAUGHTER
He would just give up. Yeah, he would.
Loser! Loser!
LAUGHTER
# So, tell me, weatherman What's it gonna be? #
IAIN: After fantasising about a game of intergalactic football,
the boys return to the more familiar male fantasies about sex positions.
Speed bump. Speed bump, yeah.
You know, I've never heard of speed bump.
It's a Northern thing, the speed bump. Is it?
Yeah. There's only speed bumps up North?
Yeah. I like... I like doggy.
Right of passage, isn't it? I like doggy, yeah.
There was, like, something eagle. Like, spreadeagle? What was it?
Oh, the flying eagle? What's that?
Their legs are like this. That's YMCA.
THEY CHUCKLE
# Go tell the weatherman... #
IAIN: Well, luckily, ITV2 and the sun came to an agreement,
and the sun is shining once more in South Africa.
# Give thanks for all the things That he's done. #
We've just had word that David Attenborough
has had to step back from presenting Love Island's Planet Love,
as he's extremely busy filming the mating rituals of the garden snail.
I think he's just at home watching Celebrity Catchphrase, myself.
So, unfortunately, it means you will now have to rely
on Kai, Ron and Sanam for your Love Island nature world fix.
Sorry! GEESE HONK
They make such funny sounds. "Erreeeeeaa!"
THEY LAUGH
I want to know what they're actually saying to each other.
Do you reckon they actually communicate?
Dunno. Cos, like, you think of, like, dolphins, with echolocation,
and they communicate. Yeah, that's sick, that.
But they're the most intelligent animal. Do they...
The use 40% of their brains, we use 10.
Yeah, but do they communicate through echolocation?
Because I thought they... I thought they used that sonar thing.
But that's whales communicate with that.
But do they actually, like, talk to each other?
They'll talk with the, "Murrrrr," like, the noise.
"Narrrrrr!" Like in Finding Dory.
Oh, yeah. That's funny.
Do you reckon fish speak? Nah.
It depends what fish. They're all different.
THEY CHUCKLE They are all different.
What about ants, then? Do you reckon ants communicate?
Ants definitely communicate.
But they communicate to the queen, don't they?
But their brainpower mustn't... mustn't be very big.
No, but I reckon they still have forms of communication.
Like, for example... They can't communicate...
Lions and cubs, they communicate by, like,
teaching and following, don't they?
So, like, the cubs watch them hunt, and then they follow that.
Dogs deffo communicate. Yeah, they do. Yeah.
They know who their mother is.
I mean, they communicate with humans through...
do you know what I mean, through their actions.
But just, obviously, they don't talk to us.
IAIN: Well, I'll tell you, Kai,
dogs aren't the smoothest talkers, anyway.
All they ever say is, "Rough, rough!"
Since last week, a brand new social media phenomenon
has taken the world by storm - Tickle Tok.
# And you can't break my vibe. #
It's the viral sensation that's sweeping the villa.
So childish.
What are they doing? Like, what's the aim of the game?
And Tickle Tok is continuing to take the villa by storm,
as these unseen tickles show.
CASEY SHRIEKS
TANYA SHRIEKS
Why is Tanya on the floor? Cos Casey just put me there.
What did you do? Yeah, tell him.
CASEY WAILS The floor for me, too!
What did you do? HE GIGGLES
What did you do? I put her on the floor!
What did you do? Say sorry. Sorry!
Say, "Sorry, TT." Sorry, TT!
Yeah! Sorry!
IAIN: Fun fact, that clip has already made ITV2 a small fortune.
A prime example of tickle-down economics.
ALL SHRIEK
IAIN, IN NASAL VOICE: I'm OG Irene, and this is Villa Wives.
Previously on Villa Wives...
ALL SPEAK IN AMERICAN ACCENTS
What happened December 13 at 7:00pm? No, you wouldn't.
Trust me, I would, and I'm going there.
Tommy, what's he talking about?
I shit my pants.
And ate it.
LAUGHTER With granola.
That's what you're drinking in your coffee. Tommy, that's OK.
Do you know what, bro, we don't judge.
We don't do that here.
IAIN: Cassandra failed to ruin Thomasina's reputation,
but will the nearly-cancelled Cassandra stoop lower
and go after her own flesh and blood to save herself?
Of course the vixen would!
Honestly, I know what you've done. I know exactly what you've done.
What? You know what.
You can't go a day without putting your fingers
in other people's business. But you know why?
Cos most of the time, I'm normally right.
You think you're right, in your little high heels, coming in here,
telling us what you think. Don't look at me!
Look at this, Tweedledee and Dum!
The little duo that everybody dislikes,
including me, your little brother.
You think you're my brother? I don't think so.
If you shut your mouth...
You're done. So done, it's actually embarrassing.
You're done, and embarrassing.
Trust me, you do not want this to get physical,
cos I can throw these hands and they are quick.
IAIN: Next time on Villa Wives, things get personal.
Your mum's beef jaloney sucks! Ha!
You said it was your favourite!
See the season finale of Villa Wives after these commercials.
# Baby, if we only got tonight
# Then I wanna spend it By your side... #
IAIN: Welcome back to Love Island Unseen bits.
We're like an end of the pier variety show.
There's unique music performances. # And I'll come back you... #
GIRLS SINGING: # Frere Jacques, dormes-vouz?
# Dormez-vouz? THEY MUMBLE THE WORDS
SINGING: Ding, dang, dong!
Slapstick comedy.
Come on. I'll help you out. I'm stuck on the... Ah!
Aerial acts of awe.
ALL: Oooh. That's great!
Surprises.
THEY LAUGH Fuck's sake!
And jaw-dropping dancing.
# We're re-e-eady to pa-a-arty. #
So step out onto the unseen pier and have a walk on the wild side.
# And I'll come back you. #
Imagine what life would be like in an alternative universe
where anything is possible.
I could be the Prime Minister, Brad Pitt, or even the Pope.
Well, it's time to really suspend disbelief,
so close your eyes and imagine a world
where Tom is Casey's mum. Take it away, lads.
Casey, I've said wake up. Make me.
Your mum's wondering where you are.
You've got school. Your lunch box is packed.
Come on. Let's go. The bus is waiting.
What time is it? 7:45. Seriously?
BOTH: Yes.
Come on. I'm gonna be late.
Yes. Why have you done this again?
You haven't been home in two months, and now you've missed school.
Come on. Is this the life you want?
What month is it? March. Am I late?
Well, you're going to be. Get a move on, then!
This is your last warning at school.
Otherwise we'll have to move your school again.
You don't want to get suspended. We've had enough of that.
Come on.
How old am I now? 12. It's the first day of Year Seven.
Did I miss my birthday? Yes.
Why didn't you tell me? You got nothing.
Why didn't you tell me? Because I knew you were getting nothing.
IAIN: Come on, Casey, pull your finger out.
You're gonna miss the school bus!
If you thought that BGT was ITV's premier talent show,
then think again,
because the iconic Love Island Talent Show is back.
Expect tears...
Please behold the moment I shed a tear.
THEY CHEER
..puzzling skills...
One minute 20. Ay!
THEY CHEER
..even more puzzling painting...
ALL: A-A-A-Ah... My beautiful artwork.
THEY CHEER I love it!
..conjuring...
I think your cards... No way. ..are these two. Yeah.
..dance, tooting...
HE PLAYS TRUMPET
..some very questionable singing...
# Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? #
You look like Lord Farquaad's been put in a bin.
THEY LAUGH
..and some very dodgy crooning.
# Cos girl, you're amazing Just the way you a-a-are. #
Clearly, it's a big budget production with no expense spared.
Seriously, this show took literally tens of pounds to put together.
And in this unseen clip, we go backstage in the star dressing room
where the artistes are warming up for their moment in the spotlight.
WILL RAPPING: Ron's walking in here, like he's going on a night out
Talented or talentless? We're about to find out.
THEY LAUGH
Talentless is literally it. That was a good bar, though.
RAPPING: Getting in the room, getting in the rhyme
I don't even know why you're coming at me, look like a clown
Your shoes aren't even made properly,
backs off, what's that all about?
THEY LAUGH
You gave me these. WILL LAUGHS
SANAM: I have no talent!
And I need to... I need something to help my talent come out.
SHE LAUGHS Don't touch your eyes.
Don't touch your eyes,
because then your eyes will be irritated the whole time.
Oh, are you meant to cry?
Oh, my god, if your talent... Is fake crying...
..is fucking fake crying... I'm gonna fucking die.
I can do that really well. No, I'm gonna be in stitches.
That is funny. No.
Think like you're looking out the window.
Someone's just told you the worst news ever. Honestly.
Oh, no, she's got tears in her eyes!
I'm gonna... Ready? SHE SOBS
THEY LAUGH Don't ruin your make-up.
Oh, she's crying... Ah!
See? You need the talent.
No, you try now. Let me take them back up now.
IAIN: And of course there was backstage drama
when MC Will, AKA Fappe, bumped into bitter rival, Foot-T.
Cue rap battle!
TOM RAPPING: Look, look, look, it's Will on the mic
Roll the dice, once or twice
He's got the pink horn for girls What's he gonna do for the curls?
He's in the gym, He's pumping it now
Protein, creatine He's on my team
I like his gold chain He's got the slippers on
He's rocking it now He's gonna sing a song
His glasses are popping
Don't come at us Cos you know what's popping.
WILL RAPPING: That's my boy All dressed in white
Head to toe Looking so fly
Girls, watch out He'll clean up easily
He's a mean devil. HE SNARLS
THEY LAUGH
That's what it's gonna be like out there.
I'm gonna go er-eh-er-eh. THEY LAUGH
Er-eh-er-eh. THEY LAUGH
RAPS BADLY: How much is that chain? It looks fake to me
I would never wear that You're a disgrace to society.
Come get your diamond calculator
And see how percent real it is.
It will go ding, ding, ding All the way to green
Cos that's how I represent.
Yeah. LAUGHTER
Looks like it's 1-0 to MC Will AKA Fappe.
In this next unseen clip,
the Islanders are chilling out on the daybeds in more ways than one,
and Ron is really warming to the theme of the conversation.
Prick up your ears, you foxy people!
JESSIE: It's not that cold tonight, to be honest.
Yeah. It's still a bit chilly.
Do you know what makes it colder?
Having your feet out, like, your toes.
Yeah. Like, having...
Feet and ears are where your warmth are.
Yeah, really?
That's why foxes in the desert have big ears. Wow.
Is it? Yeah.
There's foxes in the desert? Yeah.
Called desert fox.
Really? Really?
What do they look like? Er, just like a sandy colour.
Like a light brown, sand... Like a normal fox?
Yeah, pretty much. I don't think that sounds real.
Where do they live? Er, in the desert.
But, like, where in the desert? In, like, the caves and stuff.
They build little sand castles. SHAQ: They build sand castles!
They're probably not in, like, Dubai desert
where there's absolutely nothing,
but you know where there's, like, rocky... cove, caves and stuff?
The bush? In the bush? In the bush.
I promise you, there is.
That's why certain animals have big ears, like a desert fox.
Cos they release the most... What about elephants?
Elephants. Where do they live? Hot countries.
Tell me one country that has a desert fox.
I don't know every single detail about them!
I just know it exists.
I just want one country. One!
I don't really know many countries with deserts
other than Egypt and Dubai.
But the desert fox doesn't live in either one of those?
Dubai is man-made.
TOM: No, it's not. Dubai is a desert.
They've just built on top of the desert.
Did you say Dubai is man-made?
The desert isn't man-made, though, is it?
Yes, it is. It's a fact. Dubai is man-made.
The desert? They built it.
All the things there, yeah. But it is a desert.
If there was nothing, no buildings, it would be a desert.
But see, like, the beaches and that,
they've made the beaches there.
It's man-made. No, Dubai itself is not man-made.
It was a desert, and they've built on top of it. Exactly.
Obviously, there is, like, sea there, do you know what I mean?
There is a beach. No, they made it.
Yes, they made it over years. No, they did!
Yes, I know they did, but so's London.
London's man-made. Dubai's man-made.
You're telling me London is man-made?
Sorry, I'm just not "Dubai-ing" it.
Time now for some drama, gossip, heartbreak and lies.
I'm OG Irene, and this is Villa Wives: The Finale.
Have you seen the family? Have you even bothered to say hello?
I don't love them any more. Don't... What?
How can you say that? I don't love the family any more.
Where are your manners? Have some fucking respect.
Respect! Are you freaking serious?
Have you seen the way they've treated me
the past couple of years?
I'm being dead as. What have they done? Just cos...
All you guys do is look down on me.
Hey! Hey, no! He has been so disrespectful.
They haven't even let me say my piece!
Because what have you got to say,
except for "I'm sorry, I should have said hello?"
Yeah, we haven't heard that come out of your mouth.
I'm sorry, boy, but I'm on the family team.
With Thomasina siding with the family and betraying her bestie,
guess it's time for her to get personal.
Your mom's beef "jeloni" sucks.
Owned! Bitch.
You said it was your favourite! Yeah?
And then I went like this behind your mom.
And you know what? Your dad's brisket...
Sucks. ..tasted like ass!
Oh, my God. Your mom's corn dogs tasted ridiculous!
This is
This is the
This is the three
This is the three fakest
friendship I've ever seen.
You're never, ever going to be a part of this.
Ever! Ever!
And you keep pointing at me like this.
But you know, this is very aggressive, my friend.
Well, you know what? You've been pointing as well.
And you know, when you point,
there's three fingers pointing back at yourself. Yeah.
Never mind the fingers, talk to the hand,
cos the face ain't listening, sister.
Find out the fate of Villa Wives Season Two after these commercials.
Welcome back to the final part of Love Island: Unseen Bits.
I'm buzzing for it. I'm not gonna lie.
We take a sneaky bite out of the main show
and squeeze in as much as we can.
WILL WINCES Yeah, that one actually exploded.
But the surprises keep coming.
Boo! LAUGHTER
How many times a day do I actually carry you everywhere?
And you'll be slapping yourself if you miss it,
and howling for more.
SHE HOWLS
Trust me, this is SNOT the time to turn over.
That is not you wiping your bogey on me.
It wasn't a bogey. I don't have bogies.
IAIN, AS OG IRENE: Breaking news.
We have just heard that due to a shock public vote
which saw two Islanders dumped from the villa...
Rosie and Casey.
..Cassandra has been dropped from the cast of Villa Wives.
In a world exclusive, here's the reaction from her co-stars.
Absolutely not shocked!
Everyone had it up to here, so no shocks from this face, nuh-uh!
Cassandra will never be part of our group.
She was just trying to stir the pot, create some drama.
So I'm glad she's gone.
But I kind of miss her.
I was shocked to see Cassandra go.
The girl was drama, drama, drama, and I loved her to bits, so...
I got a bit teary, I can't lie.
Cassandra with the stupid long hair. She will be missed.
We have a live update.
Due to in-cast bitching and backstabbing...
Cassandra was never in my way. I was always the Queen bee.
I don't think it'll ever be the same again
without Cassandra in the Villa Wives.
..Villa Wives series two has been cancelled.
IAIN IN NORMAL VOICE: Thank goodness.
MUSIC: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber
Ah, the peaceful time in the morning when the Islanders are all asleep
and I can sit back and relax in my VO booth
with a morning coffee before they all wake up.
BABIES CRYING
That is not the sound you want to wake up to!
Oh, no! I forgot it was baby challenge this week.
Shaq, we've got a baby!
# Baby, baby, baby, ooh... #
Help. Someone.
Mine's still crying.
All right!
It was a shock to the system for everybody,
but here's some unseen clips for you to flick through
of our Islanders with their babies.
You can't put me in a baby chair!
Ow!
HE WHOOPS
# Mama wanna mambo, mambo Mama wanna mambo, mambo
# Baby, why don't we go... #
CHANTING: Go, baby, go, baby, go. Go, baby, go, baby, go.
She got moves!
BABY CRIES Dude, breast-feed!
I'm breast-feeding.
BABY WAILS Shh.
Yeah, I think your milk's a bit sour, babe.
# Baby, keep it hot And keep it tropical... #
BABY MAKES NOISES No. No.
Please, no.
BABY CRIES No.
BABY WAILS
HE SIGHS God's sake!
# Mambo, mambo... #
# A, B, C, D, E, F, G
# H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P. #
Aww.
BABY CRIES
Normal babies aren't normally like this.
You can actually stop them from crying.
Get practising for the race, boys! No!
LAUGHTER
Oh!
The wheel has come off!
I'm tired. I can't do it. It's the crying.
BABIES WAIL
THEY IMITATE WAILING
Yeah.
Hello, I'm Rufus. Hey.
What's your name? Tammy.
Tammy? That is such a beautiful name.
Why does yours sound like Marge Simpson?
# Mambo, mambo. #
Oh, my God.
Imagine taking your kids to a little football match and stuff, though.
A sports mom.
Tom's already taught Tammy how to play football.
MATCH OF THE DAY THEME TUNE
Yay! Very good.
She's lightning fast. Look at that footwork.
Inside, outside, step over, whack.
Like father, like daughter.
Yay! Goal! Wahey! Whoo!
IAIN: It's Beach Hut Bonanza!
And this week, I asked them to do impressions of the other Islanders.
Come on, then, bring it.
AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: "I think I'm gonna start with Jessie."
"I'm gonna move from Australia... Australia to Will's farm."
"No, Will!"
Sounds Scouse, that!
Samie reminds me of Bianca from EastEnders.
COCKNEY ACCENT: "Shut up, shut up!" Eyebrows going.
"Ricky!"
"Like, I like... I like Tom a lot. Like, I like him, yeah, like."
I think she says like a lot.
Honestly, Tanya, anything she does, it's always with a scream.
ALL SCREAM
STACCATO LAUGH That's Lana.
STACCATO LAUGHTER
Ron talks with his hands.
"If you're not gonna do it like that, do it like this."
"All right, so..."
"And you will get this at the end of that."
Honestly, when I first got to the villa,
I actually couldn't understand Tom.
NORTHERN ACCENT: "I'm going to t'kitchen, do you want anything?"
"You want go t'terrace?"
"Do you want a cuppa tea?"
DEEP VOICE: "I'm Kai, I like to walk on the path."
QUIET GASPS
Shaq, of an evening, as soon the lights go off...
"Game time!" SHE LAUGHS
Ha-ha! That's his little slogan for bedtime.
"Please behold the moment..." "..whilst I shed a tear."
Just the one. SNIFFS
That's Sanam!
Another Shaq move.
He loves a bit of Magic Mike.
I can't do Will. I don't think anyone will be able to do Will.
"Player!" And he goes, "Loser, loser, loser!"
"It's time to sexy dance!"
"Player! Loser!" That's pretty much all I hear from him.
IAIN: And that's the final Beach Hut Bonanza!
# There was a time I used to look Into my father's eyes... #
This season has been iconic,
with great Islanders and wall-to-wall LOLs.
So, it's time to cue the nearly-end-of-series montage.
Hi!
# Those days are gone Now the memories... #
Cheers to our first night in the Love Island 2023 villa.
ALL CHEER
# Don't you worry Don't you worry, child... #
IAIN: It's been totes emosh!
Columbria. Columbria?!
# Love Island!
# Love Island! #
Everyone here is bad bitches. Yes!
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh, yes!
Oh, my God!
SCREAMS AND GASPS
That is fucking huge!
# Here in the villa Having the best time
# Born with the rhythm Born with the rhymes
# MC Will with all his ladies In the bathroom. #
Mum, Will's hungry!
G'day, mate. G'day, mate.
WOLF WHISTLE
# Don't you worry Don't you worry, child... #
Harder. Harder. Yeah!
Princess Kelsey is here to create some drama.
Aeroplane petrol station. What?
I went to the Skipping World Championships in 2008. No way.
AS IAIN: "A new bombshell causes trouble in the villa."
# On a hill Across the blue lake
# That's where I had My first heartbreak... #
A bit lost for words, to be honest. A leopard never changes his spots.
Fuck this, man.
AMERICAN ACCENT: I think you're trying to throw me under the bus.
Oh, my! Argh! Oh, my God, you drama queen.
You're tickling me!
TOM SQUEALS
WILL SQUAWKS
There's a thing called the Scouse mouse.
Shut up.
Oh, my God! There's no Scouse mouse!
# We were so young... #
SQUELCHING
I can't do it!
Whipping it, whipping it, oo-ah, oo-ah!
# Happy birthday to you! #
What the fuck? Is that your sister? What's happened to you two?
If you say, "Morning," I'll probably send you a heart.
Do you know normal milk comes from a cow?
Yeah, obviously. So where does oat milk come from?
Oh, my God, that's actually sick.
# Don't you worry Don't you worry, child... #
CORK POPS
Whoo! SHE LAUGHS
# Heaven's got a plan for you # Don't you worry... #
I'm cool, calm and collected round you.
Are you? That's news to me.
IAIN: I'm not very good at speeches,
so I'll leave Will to say a few words instead.
Got to go, bye!