DEEP VOICE:Tonight, in paradise...
IAIN STIRLING: It's been a scorcher this week.
THEY ALL LAUGH
Agh!
No, no!
So get ready for a blistering collection of unseen action
from the last seven days in Mallorca's hottest villa.
THEY ALL SCREAM
SHE CACKLES
So, smother yourself in sun lotion
and get ready for an hour of sizzling unseen snippets.
Bloody cho...
STUMBLES OVER HER WORDS
So, stay hydrated,
keep it cool,
and get down with the moves...
Oh, God.
THEY SCREAM
..because this is your weekly fix of fun in the sun.
Get ready, brace yourself.
Oohhh!
This is Love Island: Unseen Bits.
Ta-da!
DEEP VOICE:Let the games begin.
Dun-dun-dun.
SHE CACKLES
This week has seen drama in paradise.
Bombshells.
So you're definitely open? Yeah, yeah. 100%.
Bust ups.
Am I a mug? What do you mean?
Treating me like some option.
Tears.
You're not even being nice.
And tantrums.
You're a clown, bro. You're a dickhead.
We saw huge fades to black.
ECHOED: And a voice-over echo.
I did
I did that.
But there was another alternative reality
which our Islanders shifted into.
An unseen dreamlike existence.
Basically, you have to just lay down, yeah. I do it like this.
I just lay down like this, and don't move for time,
your body will start itching, ignore all the itches
and all the sensations in your body
and literally close your eyes and don't move a muscle.
After like 15 minutes, bro, like, you're dreaming.
You're in a dream, but you're awake, and it's mad.
All right, Tyrique, let's give it a go.
# I'm a dreamer... #
Pinch yourself, people, it worked.
BOTH:Oooooooohhhhh!
Yay!
Welcome to the dreamy world of Love Island: Unseen Bits.
As always, we're bringing you the finest unseen footage of the week.
That is the coldest handshake going.
Good vibes only round here, do you know what I mean?
It's all very tongue in cheek.
I don't think anyone's asked YOU how you're doing.
So how are you doing?
So, let's really liven ourselves up
with an hour of explosive unseen action.
Like this.
Hey, Ty...
What?!
Wait, what? Wait, what?!
I put Mento in it.
Hold on tight...
Oh, wow.
..for one hell of a trip.
# Take me back to the times
# Oh, those never-ending nights... #
Remember way back when George was still in the villa?
Nah, me neither.
The boy I would like to couple up with is...
At the recoupling, it all came down to Whitney
and who she would choo-choo-choose.
..Mehdi.
See, railway comedy even on Unseen Bits.
Come on, bro.
Whitney had plenty of support from all the girls.
You OK? Yeah?
I guess they realised that one day the shoe would be on the other foot.
Agh!
Which, for Jess, might not be a bad thing.
Oh, my God!
# Take me back to the times
# Oh, those never-ending nights... #
Girls, girls...
I got you, babe. THEY LAUGH
George thought it was all a bit pants.
In memory of me, someone wear these briefs.
Yeah, I'll wear them, innit? Thanks, bro.
I'll wear them. 100%. Wear these briefs.
That's where it goes, bro.
In memory of George, that's exactly where it goes.
Oi! I get a free suitcase and a nice water bottle, though.
What a haul (!) Whoo!
Don't leave anything behind, George.
George, your bottle.
Eh, guys, let him know about his bottle.
No, he's gonna get thirsty on the plane home now!
With the exception of Scottish,
French is widely considered the go-to language of love,
so it was just a matter of time before Mehdi broached the subject
of Jess's French oral.
What's "I'm good" in... in French?
It's... "I'm good" in French, it's, like, "Je vais bien."
Je vais bien. Or "ca va".
Yes, "ca va", I get that.
OK. "You look sexy."
I think... "You look sexy" is like an understatement for you.
Oh, thank you!
But it's like, "Tu es tres sexy." Tu es tres sexy.
But what I need to teach you is... You ready? Yeah.
J'eteins la four apres l'avoir utiliser.
Bloody... JABBERS
Yes. Right, go again.
J'eteins la four... Je tour...
Wait. J'eteins la four.
..apres...
..l'avoir...
..utiliser. Utiliser.
Utiliser. Yeah!
Is it...?
Ooh, that sounds sexy when you say "utiliser".
Go on, do it again. "Utiliser".
Utiliser. And what does that mean?
"I turn off the oven after I use it."
No, Jess, you're on fire!
We like to educate as well as inform on Unseen Bits,
so anyone wondering what a Sheffield is,
this one's for you.
Where's he from again? Sheffield.
Where?
What even is Sheffield? It's a city in South Yorkshire.
How the fuck didn't she know that?
Is it in Yorkshire? That makes sense!
That's why we drink Yorkshire Tea. That's why we drink Yorkshire Yea.
SHE MIMICS HIS ACCENT: Yorkshire Tea. Yorkshire Tea.
That's quite good, that, you know. That's quite good, that, you know.
I literally sounded exactly like you! That sounds so good!
I like that. Carry on, though.
Carry on, now. I said "though".
Oh! Say, "I'm gonna go to t'shop."
I'm gonna go to t'shop.
"Gonna go to t'toilet." Gonna go to t'toilet.
What else do we say? What else do we say?
"Have a bath." Have a bath.
"We'll have a bath." "Gonna have a bath."
Gonna have a bath.
Why have I lost it? It was literally Mitch.
You did nail it on that one. You smashed it instantly.
Try do me. You say something, and I'll try it.
MIMICS ACCENT BADLY:Try do me.
OWN ACCENT:I can't do it. That's an insult.
You could probably do it. Try do me.
MIMICS ACCENT:Try do me. MIMICS ACCENT:Try do me.
No. Try do me.
Not bad, but Mitchel, why don't you "try do me"?
I don't... I can't do Scottish accents.
Yeah, OK,
you stick to that Yorkshire one you're doing at the moment, Mitchel.
Mitch, do you wanna come chat?
Occasionally, the dream world of Unseen Bits
leaks into the real world and becomes seen on the main show.
Shall we go to the beanbags?
I knew I shouldn't have picked the yellow one on one of t'first days.
Bad luck! Yeah.
Oh, Molly, nothing is sillier than believing.
ALL WHOOPING
How can a simple piece of garden furniture
cause all this drama at the denim party?
What you've done was very disrespectful.
I'm not gonna apologise for what sort of happened.
IAIN: Everyone was looking very blue.
I'm open to getting to know Catherine.
It was all coming apart at the seams.
Don't sit down near me, bro. What are you on about?
Bro, you're a snake.
I'll get to the bottom of this by any jeans necessary.
It couldn't have been a yellow beanbag. Could it?!
Why's everyone keep talking about the yellow beanbag?
It's cursed.
Everyone who sat on it, it just went to shit.
Really?! It just wasn't good.
It wasn't good after... CATHERINE:Really?
Molly sat on it earlier.
STRANGER THINGS THEME
What? I don't want to talk to you.
OK.
I have sat on that yellow beanbag.
Not the yellow beanbag. Yeah. Come on, man.
We all told you not to do that.
I know.
ZAC GASPS, RECORD WINDING DOWN TO A STOP
IAIN: No, I'm not having it.
You can't blame all this on a silly joke we did on Unseen Bits.
I wouldn't mind, it's not even a good joke.
Surely it's just a piece of soft furnishings.
Maybe there's other forces at play.
TAPE FAST-FORWARDING
I need to delve deeper.
# Double denim, spitting venom... #
WHITNEY GASPS
Denim, denim, denim party.
I'm never going to a denim party ever again.
If I get an invite to a denim party, I'm not going.
Literally. I wear denim. At this point, it's bad luck.
Ah, yes, of course.
All this despair is down to the Double Denim Demon!
# La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! #
Yes, Ella
Yes,
Yes, Ella,
put the double denim away!
Far, far away.
In this unseen bit, Ella's trying to bend Zac into the man he could be.
This will stretch your quad. Like this.
You're violating. You have to!
I don't know what makes you think I can... You have to.
No-one's looking. SHE LAUGHS
It's physically... Yeah. Pull it.
I'm getting cramp, bro. You feeling it in your quad?
A little. Pull it.
You're not doing it properly, then. Look.
Go like this. I'm feeling it in my quad.
I'm also feeling cramp.
And go like this if you can. Oh, fuck off!
SHE LAUGHS Get the fuck out of here.
My hips don't work like that. I'm a guy, you know.
SHE GUFFAWS
You've got birthing hips. I've got stiff hips. Stop that!
IAIN: That clip has given a whole new meaning to the phrase
"on the pull".
In a week that saw presidents in the docks
and prime ministers in contempt of Parliament,
the entire world was set a light
the entire world was set alight
when the viewers of Unseen Bits were shocked and stunned by this!
I eat warm cereal. Are you mad?!
You have warm cereal? Yes!
Who doesn't? Everyone in the world.
And it was enough to put the entire Internet off its breakfast.
IAIN READS IN MANCUNIAN ACCENT:
Laughing emoji.
IAIN READS IN COCKNEY ACCENT:
"Smiling face with hearts" emoji.
IAIN READS IN LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT:
Laughing emoji, "bowl and spoon" emoji.
Yes, Mitchel, it's called porridge.
Surely one of Catherine's favourite breakfast dishes.
I've never eaten porridge in my life.
IAIN: What?! You've never had porridge?!
Well, apparently, like, you eat oats,
your
bum gets bigger, so I need to start doing something.
Well, lucky for you, Jess is on hand to pop your porridge cherry.
Cath, I've got you some porridge. OK, if I don't like it... Oh-ho!
Yeah, I've got you a small one. Do you want fruits in it?
Yeah. Yeah. OK.
Put some honey on it as well. OK, cool.
Yeah, honey and strawberries is a nice mix.
Ooh! This is interesting. I've never eaten this.
Mmmm. You guys have literally made me expand my bubble.
You want strawberries, Cath?
You know what... I've never eaten this,
so you guys make it for me.
So whatever you think will be nice.
You'll like. OK.
Is it... Is there honey in this?
Yeah. Yeah.
You can put more on, though. Whoo! Girls!
This is interesting. You're gonna like it!
IAIN: Come on, Goldilocks. Eat up!
Count me down.
One, two, three.
What's your verdict, then, Cath?
Hurry up, there's an ad break coming.
Oh, too late.
# Let's take it back to how we... #
IAIN: Welcome back to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
I put all those light bulbs in myself, you know.
Why? So you can see all the unseen bits nice and clearly.
Although, luckily for you, you can't smell them.
FARTING
Oh, my God, bruv, you trumped.
LOUD FARTING Oh, my, God! Were that Mehdi?
Oh, my God! Were that Mehdi?
We have a good nose for anything
that has snot already been in the main show.
Have I got any bogeys? Can't really see, if I'm honest.
No. You've got really small nostrils.
I have quite big nostrils, me.
Trust me, these guys are as clueless about what is going on as we are.
I feel like you both feel Andre.
I had a cheese toastie earlier. No. I said, "You're feeling Andre."
What's that got to do with a cheese toastie?
What are you talking about?!
Jess, you actually kill me! What are you talking about?
I thought you said, "I feel like you're feeling hungry."
Once for a stag do. The less said about that, the better.
What? Oh, I thought you said, "Have you ever been to Hungary?"
My mistake.
# Let's take it back To how we used to be... #
Before the break, Catherine, AKA Goldilocks,
was about to try porridge for the first time.
I've never eaten porridge in my life.
So, what's the verdict?
One, two, three.
You're chewing it like... mmm, texture.
I'm getting a bit of Weetabix.
I'm getting a bit of...
You know what? It's doable.
Doable? Is that it?
In this unseen bit, Whitney spots that Jess and Sammy's soul match
reaches dizzying heights.
They're like the same personality. Yeah, that's what I said.
They are gonna get on so well.
They're like the same person. SHE LAUGHS
Like, you'll be speaking to him,
and he's like, "What does that mean?"
No, he did, he did.
He told me Mont Blanc was a mountain.
Montblanc is a designer brand.
I don't know what Montblanc is. A designer, huh?
But it is a mountain, isn't it?
A mountain. "Mont", "mount".
I don't fucking know. I think it is a mountain.
I swear there was, like, a mountain called Montenegro.
No? No.
Mont Blanc.
That's a fucking designer brand.
That's a mountain.
No, it ain't! Montblanc is a fucking perfume.
I'm sure it is. No.
I know where it is. In Chamonix. It's in France.
Everyone knows the smartest mountain in the world is Mount Cleverest.
I looked surprised when the producer first showed me this next clip.
Unlike Zach, who will probably look surprised
for the next eight weeks after this.
Oh... my... God. SHE LAUGHS
I'm firming it, innit, but... Oh, shit.
# Yes, baby, whether you're high Or low
# Whether you're high or low... #
SHE LAUGHS
No, it looks fucking good. Swear down?
No, it looks good.
Wait. Turn this way.
Why is this side worse? Oh!
How often do you lot get it...?
SHE LAUGHS AND SQUEALS
Oh, my God.
Sit up. I need to see it. Look at me.
Yeah. New man vibes?
Mm-hm. He's giving fleeky.
He's giving fleeky. Giving fleeky.
My eyebrows hurt, man.
IAIN: Poor Zach looks browbeaten after that.
Earlier, we saw Mehdi
running the girls through their Love Island French vocab,
and not content with just sharing the lexicon of love with the girls,
he squeezed in a quick lesson before petit dejeuner.
See? I've still got it.
Mehdi? How you feeling?
Como estas? Comment ca va?
Ca va tranquille. Ca va tres bien.
Ca va, ca va. Comme ci comme ca.
Ca va. Ca va.
Kinder Bueno.
Kinder Bueno? Kinder Bueno?
I ran out of things to say, bro.
It's too early for stuff like this to be happening.
IAIN: Agreed. I'm definitely a coffee first kind of guy.
Thanks to cuts, the Islanders' food has been slashed,
meaning they only get fed once a week
in an item we call Dishy Dates. And here are some unseen clips.
Realistically, I ain't got a clue how you use this oven.
Tyrique was mystified by what goes in his veggie noodles.
What I put in veggie stir-fry, mandem?
Vegetables.
Vegetables, bro.
Bro, stop fucking with me, man.
Zach was hoping his salmon would get Charlotte spicy.
Am I putting curry powder in? I'm vibing if I do that.
No, no, no, it's not curry powder. Do you not think?
Even I know that's not right. It might bang.
Is this nutmeg? I don't know. I just can't speak Spanish.
All of these are in Spanish.
What is that? Jam? That's dessert ting.
Jam!
Mitch was busy removing the scallops' bollocks.
Bro, you know this bit here? Mm.
Testicles. That's what it is. I'm sure it's, like, the testicles.
It's a ballsy choice,
especially when Zach is more interested
in the presentation of his muscles.
When they come out, shall I just be like...?
Just start cooking like this? Yeah, bro.
Just... THEY LAUGH
They're gonna
see my arms in this and be like, "You're small."
And I'm gonna be like this. "Dinner is served!"
It's banter, isn't it? Dinner is served.
# I'm hungry, hungry, hungry... #
And it was time for the boys to feast their eyes
on their two new dinner guests.
Hi, boys. Hi, boys.
Let's hope Mitch's castrated crustaceans are to their liking
and pray they don't ask for cockles.
What's that, by the way? That?
Mm. Scallop.
It's a bit hard, but I'm hungry, so...
Yeah. Thank you.
I eat a lot of pasta, though. Do you like pasta?
I feel like pasta's probably the best thing on the planet.
10/10.
Zach, how's your tender, moist, oven-baked salmon coming along?
Oh, shit, bro!
LAUGHTER It's done.
OK, what have we got here, then? Salmon and sweet potato. Oh, lovely.
I can tell you're not really a chef. No, I'm not a chef, no.
No. Oh, God. I like a man who can cook, so...
Well... Oh, well.
But what I'm finding out... Saying that's me done.
On to the very fancy dessert of rock-hard chocolate,
strawberries and whipped cream, served in the gob.
HE COUGHS
Man, you're nuts.
So, is this melted? No.
So, how do we, like...? It's like one of them smash things, isn't it?
Yeah, it's one of them where I didn't think this one through.
I just thought it looks nice, and...
Do you know what? You've done a really good job on this date (!)
This is a 10/10.
No, I can't do that whole thing. Little raspberry.
A raspberry? Yeah.
This is the real taste test, OK? All right.
I made these myself. You farmed these yourself?
Yeah. OK.
So, what are you tasting right now, do you think?
That tastes like a good date. This is a good date.
That tastes like a really good date. Yeah.
Mmm, everyone loves a tasty date.
Domestic duties deserve thanks.
And in this unseen bit, Mehdi gets more than he could have hoped for.
Thank you so much.
After that, I'm gonna give you the best hug ever. OK.
As in this hug is serious.
Like, I'm being serious. OK. It's a good hug. OK.
Yeah, get ready. Brace yourself.
Quick jog, like...
SHE LAUGHS
BOTH GIRLS LAUGH
Bring it on. Are you ready?
You wanna jump? JESS:Yeah.
No. You gotta stretch it all the time.
Was that good? It was perfect. Very gentle.
Thank you.
IAIN: I like that. More hugging for scrubbing, I say.
Here is an unseen clip
of all the girls once again in the dressing room
putting on their make-up, curling their hair.
But what happened next?!
Come back after the break to find out.
IAIN STIRLING: Welcome back to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
Look at them all. Oh, fuck off, all of you!
IAIN: We're like the afterparty to the main show's big event.
Three, two, one... Two, one.
..go. Pop, pop, pop, pop.
IAIN: We got the movers...
the shakers...
PERCUSSIVE GRUNTING
IAIN: ..and surprise guests.
LAUGHTER
IAIN: It's flipping crazy.
Go on, then.
No! No!
Yes! LAUGHTER
IAIN: So, kick back and relax
as we immerse you in unmissable unseen footage.
Cheers for that.
Cheers!
# On to better times... #
IAIN: Before the break,
we were in the dressing room with the girls,
waiting for something to happen.
It was the calm before the... JESS FARTS
Yeah, that was me that time.
Did you fart? What, the fart?
No.
What?
Jess! The air-con is wafting it my way!
Jess, I think you need to go to the toilet.
LAUGHTER
Its egg, it's pure egg.
IAIN: Jess is already being signed up
for a new West End theatre production
of Lady And The TRUMP.
Oh, hang on. We've missed out an unseen bit.
Leah and Charlotte weren't the only new arrivals
during these very dramatic dishy dates.
Why can't they... God forbid!
WHIMPERING
Ow, what the fuck? Don't pull my hair!
Yes, it's...
As long as you don't talk... BUZZING
SHE YELPS
Erm... Oh!
I'm gonna be able to get to know whatever,
but I'm liking where this is going,
and obviously we'll have a strong, like,
I don't think there's something there, blah-blah-blah...
BUZZING
LAUGHTER
No!
That thing was fucking buzzing in my ear.
It's gone, it's gone, it's gone.
It actually touched me.
BUZZING
SHE YELPS
HE LAUGHS You all right?
Yeah.
Such a little baby, you're meant to be a farm girl.
No.
Scared of a wasp, are you? I am actually scared of butterflies.
Butterflies and spiders.
I'm scared of sharks and crocodiles.
Yeah, but that's a given.
What, you don't swim in the sea, then, no?
I do if I can see.
If I can't see what under there, that's scary.
You can never see what's under the sea.
Yeah, you can.
What's in it? In the shallow bit.
IAIN: My mum says you should not go swimming in the sea
for an hour after you've eaten,
but she also says flies can't watch telly,
so I wouldn't trust that woman.
It's breathy, it's romantic, it's full of throaty sounds.
Could anything be sexier than a Frenchman speaking French?
How about a Londoner trying to learn?
Let's start basics.
OK, we're gonna start with eat, sleep, crack on, repeat.
OK.
LAUGHTER
OK.
Eat is "manger". Manger. Manger.
Yeah. Sleep, "dormir".
Dormir. Dormir.
Crack on, "crack on".
Crack on. Crack on.
Croissant. Croissant.
So, manger. Manger. Manger.
Dormir. Dormir. Dormir.
Croissant. Croissant. Croissant.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
OK?
Manger. Manger.
Dormir. Dormir.
Kwak-eh. Croissant!
Yeah.
Repeat. Repeat, yeah.
OK, my turn.
Manger, "di-mi-ont".
Yes.
Dormir. LAUGHTER
Croissant-tey. Yes.
MEHDI AND JESS LAUGH
Is it actually that? Yeah, yeah.
It's the same as the croissant that you eat.
So, manger, dormir, croissant, repeat.
OK.
Manger, croissant, repeat. Mang-er.
Yes. Manger, craquer-on...
Yeah. Erm...
Dormir. Yeah.
Repeat.
HE LAUGHS,
FLIES BUZZ Hey!
Ahhh! JESS AND WHITNEY SQUEAL
Fucking hell, Jess! That was...
IAIN: No, we're not doing any more Islanders to get scared.
any more Islanders get scared.
Bugs, get back in your homes.
They're a friendly, welcoming bunch, our Islanders.
Always ready to get to know each other
with little unseen chats like this.
Have you got icks or not? Yeah.
Like what? I do.
Tell me some. Mm...
I don't like top knots. Is that what it's called...
Like, when you tie your hair back? ..when guys have, like, big hair?
Yeah. Yeah, and they have really long hair. Erm...
I've got quite long hair, I can't lie.
Yeah, but it's not that long. No.
It's not.
Fancy dress.
I don't like guys who do fancy dress.
HE LAUGHS
Well, if you go... Like, something sexy.
What if you're going to a fancy-dress party together?
Yeah, something sexy, but not like...
Oh, God, like a ghost.
Or wearing like a sheet or something, like...
Like, something sexy is fine,
but I just don't like fancy dress,
or like a toast, or like a tampon.
What do you mean a toast?
Like, I've seen someone before where they had a toast hat put on.
Oh, I thought you meant like giving a toast,
like a speaker something.
No, I just don't like fancy dress. It just... Yeah...
It makes me cringe. Erm... I love fancy dress.
IAIN: That's true.
Sammy actually wanted to arrive in the villa
as a massive slice of toast.
He thought it would be a good way to "butter up" the Islanders.
# Nice to meet you, enchante... #
IAIN: Earlier in the week,
Mehdi and Whitney went on their first date.
Look at us!
BOTH LAUGH
# Making me feel special... #
Aw, the frogs are fucking.
After watching the show,
David Attenborough contacted Love Island bosses personally
and demanded the return of an Unseen Bits classic...
DRAMATIC MUSIC
..Planet Love.
AS DAVID ATTENBOROUGH: In the heart of the arid Mallorca countryside,
an oasis has been discovered,
which has become the mating ground
of a rare and wonderful species of frog.
NORMAL ACCENT: Eh, sorry, David,
we need to interrupt your natural history programme
as we have some unseen clips of Mehdi and Whitney's date.
# I'll be by your side In deeper waters... #
Oh, they are fucking.
I think they're making love.
SHE GUFFAWS, HE LAUGHS
We eat frogs sometimes. They are nice, but I hate them.
They scare me so much. Why?
Because I went on a trip once... SHE LAUGHS
..to the Caribbean, and there was, like, a frog invasion in the house.
SHE LAUGHS And since then, I'm scared.
But did they actually attack you?
No, but they jump everywhere when you tried to... Really?!
..wipe them away. They just jump, jump, jump.
They're cute, though.
They're small, and then they're cute.
I think. If you want a frog, I'll go get it for you.
SHE LAUGHS You are not a man of your word.
You know I am, so please...
Actually, no, cos you stopped making me breakfast,
and its being, like, days.
When you come down at like... in the afternoon...
SHE LAUGHS You don't come in in the morning,
I can't make you breakfast.
You're so late all the time.
I'm surprised you arrived on time for this date, though.
BOTH LAUGH
Oh, my God. All the girls were helping me.
Like, I had three people doing my hair,
someone picking my clothes, like...
You had the whole staff for you. Literally.
SHE GUFFAWS
SHE LAUGHS
What?
Have some cheese.
BOTH LAUGH To represent France.
Yeah, I love cheese.
You love fromage.
What's that? Cheese.
What's it?
Hor-maz. Fromage.
"From-ahz". Yeah.
IAIN: Oh, glad to see you two appear to be in tandem.
OK, wait.
IAIN: Now, get on your bike and back to the villa.
Yeah, I think it's romantic, isn't it?
It's giving French.
Yeah, it's giving French, so... Now we're gonna crash.
We're gonna have some wine. We're gonna crash.
We're not, look. SHE LAUGHS
IAIN: If we make a joke about Mehdi and Whitney's bike ride twice,
is that called "recycling"? Or is it just a "chain reaction"?
The second one's considerably worse.
Meds, so, how are you feeling, anyway, about your date yesterday?
Was it nice?
Yeah, the date was great, to be honest.
You went on a bike, yeah? A tricycle, innit?
Yeah... No, tricycle is, like, three wheels, I think.
Oh. LAUGHTER
What's it called? Double bike.
Yeah, but it's actually called a word.
Er, in French it's "tandem". I don't know in English, though.
What is that called? I don't know, I don't know.
Not tricycle, though. LAUGHTER
Looking at me like you know!
What's the name of the bike with two...
Tricycle!
That's what I said! No, see...
No, but tricycle's "tri" which means three.
LAUGHTER
Leah, what's the name of the bike with, like, two people on?
The what?
The name of the bike with two people on.
They have... LAUGHTER
The double bike?
That's what I said, it's a double bike.
It's not. LAUGHTER
What's it called? Oh, this is gonna have me now.
IAIN: What can I say?
I'm just a big fan of them random tandem tan-gang.
It's been quite a foodie episode this week.
Who else could make this much TV
out of people talking about porridge?
I'll tell you who - Unseen Bits, that's who!
Did you like the porridge?
Yeah, it's nice. It was genuinely really nice.
It taste better with a nana. Nana.
I'd have both. Strawberry and banana.
We'll make porridge together.
So then you can show me, and I'll make it for you.
No, you're making me French omelette tomorrow.
That's gonna be sick. French omelette.
I love cooking. It's fun. And, erm... cheese.
Do you like cheese? Yeah.
I love cheese.
What, is there cheese in a French omelette?
Yeah.
What's even in French omelette? Cheese.
Yeah, what else?
Omelette.
IAIN: All right, omelette's just made out of cheese and omelette.
Just like paella is made out of pie and Ella.
And spotted dick is made from... Hang on, I'm not reading this!
MUSIC: 'Hear Me Say' by Jonas Blue & LEON
IAIN STIRLING: Welcome back to Love Island: Unseen Bits.
Here, we are as much about the lairy bits...
THEY CHANT
..as the laughs. Whoo!
Our philosophy is - you don't really know a man
until you've seen him with another man's pants on his head.
THEY LAUGH
Or getting brain freeze from a choc-ice.
Did you just bite that with your front teeth?
That's criminal. I don't fancy you any more (!)
We've stolen the best scene-stealing moments
from the main show and the CCTV from security.
Shh!
# You'll hear me say... #
So, accept all cookies and click the square bits with lamp posts
because these guys are not robots.
Unless robots eat biscuits.
In this unseen clip,
our islanders take a peek behind Sammy's brunette curtains.
THEY GIGGLE
Everyone, play with my hair. Oh, that's unreal.
Feel like a little Jack Russell. You would not be a Jack Russell.
JESS: You have a little Jack Russell.
THEY LAUGH
See that, girls? Jess, you're so nasty.
I would be an Alsatian, isn't it? Wait, what did you say?
I said you have a little Jack Russell.
How do you know?
THEY LAUGH Oh, what the hell?
Jess is so vulgar. What does that mean?
Yeah, you lot are definitely meant to be.
You lot are definitely meant to be, like, honestly.
What are you getting at? It is literally dumb and dumber.
IAIN: We got our Jack Russell neutered when he was six months old.
Just saying, Sammy.
Communication seems to be a bit of a theme this week,
and in this unseen bit, Catherine and Andre are learning
that it ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it.
If I want to say the tree is green, OK, I'd say, "The tree is green."
You see, right there is a very, very beautiful tree, like...
Mm, I agree. Like, the branches are just so full...
Yeah, absolutely.
I love how they're calm, like, it's very beautiful.
It is a very beautiful tree.
Like, the colour green's really nice, yeah.
And what colour is the tree? I like the colour green, yeah.
What colour is the tree? Yeah.
So, that's how you would say "the tree is green".
And can I impersonate you? Yeah, go ahead. The tree is green.
The tree... No, how...? Say it again.
The tree is green. Huh? The tree is green.
The way that you say it... The tree is just...
But, yeah, OK. How else do you say "tree"?
Tree. Yeah, the tree is green.
OK. Am I not saying it right? You are. It's just the accent.
I don't have a strong accent, I don't think.
IAIN: "The tree is green" sounds like a coded message to me.
If it turns out Andre and Catherine are agents,
heads are going to roll in the casting department.
When it comes to learning a new lingo,
sometimes, less is more, or should I say, French less-on.
Mehdi, over to you, pal. I will teach you...
I think we got to go one word at a time, and I will remember.
With someone like you, yeah, I think one word...
Yeah, one word at a time, honestly. One word a week. Literally.
That would be even better. Yeah, I think so.
We have got a lot of weeks ahead of us.
IAIN: Tawit-tawoo!
Hopefully, we can come back next week with a word.
IAIN: Knowing that Gareth Southgate is a super fan of Love Island,
I turned "talent Scot" this week.
And with the 2023 women's World Cup in their sights,
the girls were keen to show off their footballing prowess...
..in the challenge, She's A Keeper.
Hey, boys - keepy-uppies.
# All I do is win, win, win...#
IAIN: The girls use their skills
to decide which boys should stay on the bench...
I'm gonna give the red card to Mitch.
IAIN: ..and why.
Because he's given me the most drama.
IAIN:
They then played goalie
and got to smooch the Man of the Match.
You don't get that in the Premier League.
That's crazy.
IAIN: Whilst the boys picked up the number one sexiest keeper.
Jess.
WHOOPING
IAIN: But the whistle went early, and everything blew up.
TEXT ALERT
SHE READS TEXT
SQUEALING
Come on, baby.
I'm going on a date with a real footballer.
IAIN: But at the post-match pre-date debrief,
the most important thing in the girls' minds was...
I think it's gonna be nibbles, so eat.
Cos they're not gonna give you a full meal.
Sometimes they bring out, ooh, like, maybe a pasta.
But even, like, you're not gonna eat in front of a guy.
You'll be looking at the food like, "I'm not hungry."
IAIN: Don't worry, girls. We really go to town on these dates.
MUSIC: 'Match Of The Day Theme'
IAIN: No expense was spared, and with the transfer window open,
goalkeeper Scott headed down the tunnel to the ground.
We even splashed out on classy bubbles.
What is this, by the way? Prosecco?
D'you know what, I have no idea.
I poured it for you, and it taste nice, so...
Thank you.
IAIN: There was a bucketload of olives, which as we know,
wasn't to Jess's liking.
Do you like olives?
No, not particularly. Neither do I.
Can someone take the olives away? No, joking. I'm joking.
IAIN: So that's me eating nothing but olives for the next six weeks.
Were Jess and Scott gonna be our Match of the Day?
Well, here are the extra time unseen highlights.
The challenge that you did today...
I can't even tell you what happened, cos it was so embarrassing.
I want to hear it, tell me all about it.
I'm gonna find out either way. Yeah, you'll find out.
So, basically, we had to do a little dribble.
Yeah? The funniest part was,
me thinking, "Yeah, I'm gonna show off," like,
I know how to do an rainbow flick, innit?
a rainbow flick, innit?
Oh, no! Anyway, so,
I've done the rainbow flick.
I flick the ball, it was amazing. Like, great.
And because it was all slippery on the floor,
I've gone straight over.
LAUGHTER
Straight over on my arse.
I was going for it. I got Woman of the Match. So...
Listen, you've got to take it, and you're here now, so...
Exactly.
You can't complain, really. No.
And have you been doing football your whole life?
My whole life, yeah. I've never done anything different.
What position do you play?
Well, have you not put two and two together?
Where were you today?
Oh, you're a goalkeeper? I'm a goalkeeper.
Oh, right, fair enough. Yeah, so, good with the hands.
LAUGHTER
IAIN: That's it, the full-time whistle has blown.
Get them back in that villa quick before they start asking
too many questions about the cheap prosecco.
Tyrique might be a footballer in the outside world,
but he clearly has ambitions to be a quiz show host.
Bradley Walsh, if you're watching, be afraid!
GROWLY VOICE: Be very afraid!
Quick-fire game, yeah? I'm gonna give you two options.
I'm going to say two things
and you got to choose which one you like. Cool, yeah?
Shower or bath?
Shower.
Ketchup or mayo?
Mayo. Ugh.
Would you rather be too cold or too hot
for the rest of your life?
Too hot.
Black or white?
Black.
Come on, make them a bit juicier. Er...
Missionary or doggy?
LAUGHTER
Now, that's a good question. You said make them juicier.
Erm... missionary.
Yeah, you've got a pretty face, I think missionary.
SHE LAUGHS
Missionary's a myth, though, man. Why? Putting in the work?
No...
I don't mind putting in work, but, you know, sometimes in missionary,
you bust in five seconds and it's crazy.
Three strokes and you're out. Whoa...
Can I take this opportunity to apologise
to any missionaries watching?
And also, anyone watching with their doggies.
Get ready, folks, because you've guessed it...
it's...
And this week, I asked our Islanders,
what's your party trick?
What's that mean? Oh, yes!
Oh, God!
I've got a deep voice. I can really go deep.
DEEP VOICE:Tonight, in paradise...
NORMAL VOICE:Innit?!
LAUGHS
Can crack my hands. KNUCKLES CRACK
I will not burp. I will not burp.
Never. Mm-mm.
HE BURPS
MAKES FART NOISES
THROATY RASPS
Don't even ask me how I learned to do that or how I knew I could do it.
That's my worm!
Ta-dah!
Hold it like this.
And you come back down. Yeah, man.
SHE LAUGHS
Chest. That's it.
I can't even do it properly!
Looks like a frog.
You know gleeking?
It shoots out, like, an artillery of saliva.
I know that sounds disgusting.
I don't know if you caught that.
I can touch my thumb to my arm.
Wow! SHE GIGGLES
I can't even get my face near to it. HE GRUNTS
DEEP VOICE:Let the games begin. Dun-dun-dun!
LAUGHS
It's quite creepy. LAUGHS
I've got a monkey on my bum. People seem to love it at parties.
HE LAUGHS
I call mine Barry, cos, I dunno, he looks like a Barry to me.
I can belly dance.
Was that any good?
That is... SHE LAUGHS
That's it. Come back next week for some more...
Hey, Mitch, come back. Before we go, do you remember this?
Oh, have you seen this?
So, look at this. This is my birthmark.
It looks like a dog smiling with a white bum.
A dog smiling with a white bum.
Yeah. I see the dog, yeah. You see?
I've been sending the internet into overdrive
looking for a smiley dog with a white bum birthmark.Right...
So, Mitch, show us your smiley dog with a white bum birthmark.
Right, so...
I've got a birthmark which I've had all my life,
cos it's a birthmark.
Looks like a dog smiling with a white bum.
Just giving it a cheeky wave. If you can see.
That looks more like what comes out of a smiley dog's white bum.
As long as you're proud of it, you do you.
See you all next time. Byeeee!
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