IAIN STIRLING: Previously...
..on Love Island...
..one couple hit the rocks...
It's obviously not nice to see.
So you were annoyed at it.
Nah, I can't be arsed.
Do you wanna be with me?
Well, obviously.
..and you had your say.
The couple with the fewest votes,
and therefore dumped from the island is...
Tonight...
# Twinkle, twinkle, little star
# How I wonder what you are... #
BABY WAILS
# Hold your breath
# We're not turning back... #
IAIN STIRLING: Six couples have been chasing your votes,
all running the same election manifesto,
to trouser 50 grand next Monday.
The three couples with the lowest votes were Danica and Jamie,
Indiyah and Dami, and Paige and Adam.
All three couples are at risk
of being dumped from the island immediately.
The couple with the fewest votes,
and therefore dumped from the island is...
TEXT ALERT
# Hold your breath
# We're not turning back... #
Jamie and Danica.
# Hold your breath
# We're not turning back. #
Danica has inspired a lot of people in here.
She kept her crown on her head, head held high.
Honestly, I'm going to miss her so, so much.
Oh, God, girls. Love you. Love you.
Pleasure. It's been a pleasure, man.
Do you know what? Jamie's back out for preseason,
but also, he's got a little fireball, in Danica, with him.
Right, that's the last time I see the firepit.
SIGHS
# When you gotta go
# Leave
# Don't waste your 20s on me... #
SNIFFS
I didn't expect it, and I know it's not long before I see her again,
but just waking up in the morning, and she's not gonna be here, like,
I'll miss everything about Danica, you know, her vibe, her energy.
Do you know what? I'm walking out of here
with somebody that I genuinely think
I've got a good connection with. Yeah!
So proud of myself.
Gonna give it a good shot with Danica on the outside?
Yeah, 100%, bro. Why not? That's good.
It seems like she's kind of found someone
she can actually be herself fully with,
and that will actually accept her.
And I hope it just continues on the outside as well
because she does deserve that.
Besties for life, all six of us.
It's been a pleasure.
ALL: Go, Danica!
# So you've gotta go
# Leave
# Don't waste your 20s on me... #
It has been the most surreal experience of my life.
Very grateful to be leaving with Jamie.
See you soon, guys.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Don't waste your 20s on
# Don't waste your 20s on me
# Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da... #
My journey was a lot shorter than Danica's, obviously,
but I went in to find a genuine connection,
and I feel like I have done that.
Came in, I was this big, ballsy, confident bombshell.
I thought, "I can take any man if I want to."
Was a little bit harder than anticipated, but do you know what?
I stayed and, you know,
I really do feel like I've walked out with the right guy,
so, you know, I'm really happy with that.
# Da-da-da-da-da
# Leave... #
Are you OK? She was my girl, do you know what I mean?
And, like, it's shitty,
but I'm proud of her, do you know what I mean?
She did what she had to do, sixth time lucky,
and she gave it her best.
Such a good exit as well, by the way.
Yeah, THE best exit we've seen.
I think it was the best entrance we've ever seen,
and the best exit we've ever seen.
She was, like, "I want a man obsessed with me."
This one wasn't, this one wasn't, this one wasn't, this one wasn't,
and then finally...
Never settle for anything less, ladies.
Never, ever. No, we know our worth, honey.
I really wasn't expecting that, I'm sorry. And now there's five.
There's only five couples left and it's, like,
you can just feel the silence in the villa.
It's just us, strong couples.
And you think, "Wow, look how far we've bloody come," sort of thing.
IAIN STIRLING: I can't believe Danica's gone.
That girl has left big shoes to fill.
Actually, who am I kidding? She's a child size 2.
But the other Islanders wish her all the best.
I do hope it does work out between them
because Danica deserves it, man.
I couldn't even have any idea as to why I think we'd be up there.
I don't know. Hmm. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.
I genuinely do not know.
Absolutely grateful to be here, absolutely grateful,
and I wanna experience this thing with him to the fullest,
but if we were to go home,
it's, like, I'm happy, do you know what I mean?
Because I'm happy with him, happy with our situation and everything.
So... we were top three tonight.
Yeah. It was a nice feeling.
It was actually a really nice feeling for me as well.
Naturally, it was not nice...
LIPS SMACK ..to see Danica leave, but...
Yeah. But we'll see her soon.
Yeah. I mean, we are nearly at the end.
It's not like we're not gonna see her in a month.
Yeah, we expect things like this to happen.
I'm very happy I'm with my man still. Honestly.
It was just an overwhelming...
love, almost.
It's some sort of form of love,
knowing that the public has voted us still here.
It was just... big emotion of love and joy, and I'm so happy.
IAIN STIRLING: There's nothing worse
than endlessly battling for survival at the bottom.
Just ask Ayr United fans.
Guys, I'm joking (!)
Anyway, Andrew and Tasha are relieved
that, for once, they didn't have to.
I did not expect that. No. No. It's good.
Yeah, from being in the bottom three most weeks, week in, week out,
to that, it's obviously... Yeah, it's a nice feeling, innit?
Like, yeah?
Yeah!
I did not think we'd make it this far.
I'm sorry, but...
I genuinely did not think... What, "we"?
Yeah. Maybe me, but...
Oi!
Yeah, fair.
I'm joking.
Once again, I'm just feeling very, very grateful,
and very lucky to still be here for another day with Andrew,
on our little journey.
I'm just happy that we're both just in a very good place right now.
LAUGHS
They've had a massive argument over nothing.
You've never done that, to be fair, have you?
No, but at least our arguments are arguments, do you know what I mean?
It's about something.
They just have opposite opinions about the situation.
They're both entitled to their feelings.
LUCA: I love you.
GEMMA: I love you too.
At least you guys are smiling. Thank God, man.
Naturally, it's not nice to see Danica leaving.
Yeah.
She's just got a load of energy, doesn't she? Yeah.
She's class. No-one does the moves like her.
And Jamie's a nice person. Yeah.
It'll be good to see if they give it a go on the outside.
Yeah, final five. Final five.
When you lose someone, it's never the same.
Especially when it's Danica. Yeah.
Just gonna miss her presence and her vibe. Yeah.
But it's not gonna be for long, and she's living her best life, so...
Exactly. She found the man of her dreams. Yeah.
BABIES CRYING
IAIN STIRLING: Don't worry,
it's not Luca and Gemma having another tiff.
The babies are here!
Wait, what is that noise?
I'm scared.
LAUGHTER
What?
Babies are crying. Oh, you're joking!
MUSIC: 'Baby' by Justin Bieber
# Baby, baby, baby, ooh
# Baby, baby, baby, no
# Like, baby, baby, baby, ooh... #
It's my nightmare. I've actually woken up to a nightmare.
Davide, we've got a baby!
No way.
Shh.
Oh, my God, their clothes. Their clothes.
Why are the girls not doing anything?
Oh, Jesus, yours is loud.
What's wrong with your baby?
IAIN STIRLING: Each couple has a baby to feed,
comfort and change its nappy.
This is not OK.
IAIN STIRLING: I was in charge of getting the babies this year,
I Googled "life-sized plastic dolls to love".
You would not believe what arrived at my house!
I think I've broken his head already.
He had no idea how to hold a baby for burping.
I just thought he would do that himself, to be honest.
No. I can kinda do that on cue.
They must be taking the piss, man.
# Baby, baby, baby, ooh... #
My ears are fucking ringing already.
Oh, it's loud! It's loud!
I feel like I'm attached. I feel like, you know,
my experience here has just gotten ten times better.
Do you know what, I was really good at recorder and I think she's got
a music touch from her mum.
But I did say I want her to do the violin.
# Baby, baby, no
# Like, baby, baby, baby, oh... #
Take him...
She.
I didn't know if I'd be a good dad, but being here for eight weeks
and looking after Gemma, I think I've got it in me.
GEMMA LAUGHS
DAVIDE: This is nice.
EKIN-SU: Who does it look like?
I think it looks like Davide a little bit.
It's got that look. The eyes.
INDIYAH: Whose baby is that?
What's wrong with it? He is not cute.
He looks like an old man.
Indiyah!
CRYING
Just came out of nowhere.
He was literally a calm baby two minutes ago.
IAIN STIRLING: Time to name the babies,
and this is an important moment.
It's the name these babies are going to carry with them
all the way to the rubbish tip tomorrow morning.
# Thought you'd always be mine... #
CRYING
Is he gonna, like, cry every minute of the day?
Hopefully not. Have you gotta do stuff all the time?
Right, so what are we naming the young man?
Freddie? Freddie?
Melody. Melody?
Or?
Ronke. INDIYAH LAUGHS
Coco? No!
Why are you just naming her after bombshells?
Man, no, I'm not.
As he calms himself down... CRYING
..I think we both know what the baby name is.
Sage, yeah. It's not up for discussion.
I'm glad you're on board.
I'm... Um, yeah. So supportive (!)
If he gets bullied in school, it's on you.
Well, baby names were already spoken about, apparently.
I mean, do you wanna explain that one?
Well, I just like the name Sage. It rhymes with Paige.
Yeah, wasn't up for discussion, really, was it?
That was it. Had no input with that one.
Can you give babies coffee?
Uh, are you joking?
No, absolutely not.
Let's do one of your family, so they know it's after them.
Let's call her Rog. Rog? Yeah.
You wouldn't call our actual kid Rog, would you?
No, absolutely not.
My sister's nickname's Rog.
It looks a bit manly, the baby, so it can suit her.
It just fits.
Funke!
INDIYAH LAUGHS
DAMI LAUGHS
Is that how you're gonna be calling her? Yeah.
DOLL CRIES
Oh, she's crying. Funke, now, please.
Leo Andrew Le Page. Aw!
We'll do that. Yeah.
You are a natural.
I could leave you with him all day.
Hm... Nice try, cos you will not leave.
Irene, I like. That's Italian. Irene.
Irene? That's also Turkish. Yeah?
Yeah, let's have that. Irene.
Irene. That's a Turkish name. It's Italian as well.
Oh, my God. Let's do that. OK. OK, Irene.
EKIN-SU LAUGHS, TOY SQUEAKS
Irene?
Sienna. Sienna.
It's not bad.
Sienna Funke Hope.
SHE LAUGHS
Now that Sienna's been born...
Mm... ..I'm so happy.
IAIN STIRLING: Sage had a cheeky feed on Adam's man-boob
and necked a litre of protein shake and testosterone
before he pulled her off. Naughty baby.
Hi! So, hey, this is... this is your godparents.
Auntie Paige and Uncle Adam.
Yeah. So, this is... Guys, meet Sienna.
Would you like to take a seat? Yeah. We'll have a play date.
Is that what it's called? And we can have a mothers' meeting.
Yes. I love that.
And then we can have our dads' meeting. Yeah.
We'll really talk... talk our business.
How's Sage getting on? Sage is getting on really well.
I mean, Paige had to calm him down. Yeah, he's a mammy's boy.
I calmed her down, I calmed her down.
Sienna's a daddy's girl. Whoa!
I can see me doing this, to be fair.
Would you want a boy or a girl first?
Er, probably a girl. SIENNA CRIES
Where's the... Where's the bottle? CRYING CONTINUES
OK. We're gonna... We're gonna get you your food, OK?
Don't, don't, don't, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.
Shh! Daddy's coming. BOTH LAUGH
They're so cute! LUCA: Is there spare nappies, then?
Oh!
So far, so good, yeah? Parenting?
Do you reckon you want a kid soon?
A few years.
LAUGHING: You look like a moody mum!
Me?! LAUGHING: Yeah.
I'm gonna make you strong.
Like me and Davide.
Getting in the gym today. Yeah.
ROG CRIES
Your baby's crying. I think you might wanna look after it.
CRYING CONTINUES
Do you want me to have a turn?
Shh! Your daddy's here.
CRYING CONTINUES
I think Rog is gonna be a nice little test
for how the future's gonna pan out for us.
It's also making me realise we've gotta wait a bit.
But when it gets going, it's gonna be like a train.
It won't stop. I won't... Yeah, and we'll just keep popping them out.
SIENNA CRIES, SCREAMS
All right, all right, there's something wrong now.
CRYING CONTINUES
Right, get me the tequila, honestly.
You're OK, you're OK, you're OK.
You're OK, you're OK, you're OK, you're OK.
You're OK. You're OK.
SINGSONG: You're OK, you're OK.
INDIYAH HUMS What are nursery rhymes?
CRYING CONTINUES
Welcome to being a father, huh?
She hasn't actually eaten, so... CRYING STOPS
She stopped!
Mm-hm.
CLAPPING
Perfect. Who your daddy?
RHYTHMIC: I'm your daddy. Who your daddy?
I'm your daddy. Who your daddy?
I'm your daddy.
I'm actually happy you can calm her down. Thank fuck!
INDIYAH LAUGHS
Dami's been doing an amazing job. Such a good dad.
And honestly, I couldn't ask for a better father.
IAIN STIRLING: We're proud to bring you a Love Island first.
Davide paying attention to another female
and Ekin-Su not kicking off.
The carbonara is on standby just in case.
We should put suncream in a bit. The sun is hot.
HE LAUGHS
Some face cream for the face. Yeah.
Are you creaming the baby up? Yeah, the sun is hot.
There you go, Daddy. Come on.
Davide, we've got dad bods.
What's dad bod? Erm...
Stereotypically, when you have a baby,
you get out of shape, don't you? Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, like, people say "Oh, you've got a dad bod."
So we can eat all the crisps now, cos we're done. We're settled.
HE LAUGHS All right, I've got that. Yeah.
'It's going well. She just ate.'
We'll do some activities later on.
We'll do some gym. We'll start on the baby.
Yeah, we'll do the gym squat with the baby. With Irene.
IAIN STIRLING: The good news is,
there's always one boob free for baby Leo,
because as we all know, Andrew only needs the one.
Let me give some milk. Some milk?
BABY CRIES
No, Leo. No, no, no... Stop crying.
CRYING CONTINUES
CRYING INTENSIFIES
You can take this one.
CRYING CONTINUES
Grab the head!
Andrew!
CRYING STOPS
You're gonna have his head fucking roll off.
Sorry? Can you hear him any more?
I can't. What?
Can you hear him any more? Whatever.
Are you actually having me on?
'Leo, he's my best mate, you know?'
And, erm... Yeah, I've got a good bond with him already,
gonna be my best mate.
BABY CRIES What's this?
BABY CRIES INTENSELY, SHE LAUGHS
Come to Daddy. TEXT ALERT
Oh, a text.
CRYING CONTINUES
I've got a text!
Oh.
Shut up. Let me hold her.
Oh, go on, then, Ekin.
SHE READS ALOUD
SHE CONTINUES READING ALOUD
Wait, give me Leo. Mum's here to party! Ha-ha!
Whoo!
Daddy day care!
We don't need her anyway.
Say bye to Mum. Bye!
Why are you shaking your head? Why-Why do you get to go out?
Cos we do all the work.
MUSIC: 'I Got It From My Mama' by will.i.am
# Tell me, where'd you get Your body from?
# Baby, where'd you get Your body from?
# Tell me, where'd you get Your body... #
Yeah, it's quite nice to get away from the girls.
Have a bit of peace and quiet from them.
We can have a little dads' bonding session, you know,
with the kids, you know?
# I got it from my mama
# I got it from my mama... #
My daytime dress, honey.
Let's go to see the gym, where Papa Davide trains.
Irene, it's important to stay healthy.
Oh, I'm excited! Whoo!
# Where'd you get your body from?
# Tell me where'd you get Your body from?
# Baby, where'd you get Your body from?
You look stunning as a mum. Thanks, babe.
I'm actually gonna miss Leo. What's going on?
Have a little cry here and there.
BABY CRIES Show your emotions, that's fine.
It's good anyway that we leave the babies with the boys
for a little while. Give them some bonding time. Yeah.
Honestly, we've had a kid, and we look this good. Yeah.
I think it's just because we've got our boys whipped,
it's that easy. What was the saying?
ALL: Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen!
Go, go. Quick picture, quick picture.
Lovely. Yes, girls.
# Nine times out of ten
# She fine just like her mama... #
Whoo! Girls' day out.
Girls' day out! Whoo!
IAIN STIRLING: These dolls have everything they need.
Nappies, little hats, dummies.
And the good news is the dummies have promised to look after them
until the girls get home!
BABY CRIES
# The wheels on the bus go Round and round
# Round and round Round and round
# The wheels on the bus go Round and round
# All day long. # TOY SQUEAKS
Now, you do actually have your mum's eyes,
so that's good.
You know, it's part of her. We think you do have your mum's nose.
Right, shall we make the baby food? In a blender?
Pepper, tomato, carrots.
Pepper, tomato, carrots, and is this aubergine?
Yeah, it is.
How's that?
Tastes like baby food.
Irene!
Look what I've got.
Mmm, yum!
Fucking hell. Oh, shit.
He spilled it down her!
We ate a smoothie,
and, yeah, she put a bit on the T-shirt, but it's fine.
Later on, we're gonna get changed.
Do you think they'll like it?
Mine loves it. She's a healthy girl.
When I give her food, she doesn't cry. She's like me.
If you give me food, I'm happy, so if I give her food, she's happy.
IAIN STIRLING: Irene screamed at Davide earlier,
and he made her a carbonara. Force of habit.
And Dami's got a trick up his sleeve to keep the peace.
BABY WAILS
Hmm! Hmm!
TOY SQUEAKS
# Yes, no, Ducky, no Quack, quack, quack
# Little Ducky want it Wanna take it back. #
Why are you crying in my ear, girl?
It's OK, you can cry.
You're the only girl allowed to cry and I'll accept it, OK?
Good girl.
OK.
Don't mind the other babies. You just focus on what you've got.
And if you're not crying,
you don't need to cry just cos the other babies are crying.
That's another thing in life.
You don't have to give in to peer pressure.
The firepit is very special, I didn't tell you.
Your mum told me about her superpower,
her superpower being that she has an implant
that makes her be able to hear.
Which is very, very special.
HE GRUNTS
Very, very brave.
And she, with this implant, can hear.
IAIN STIRLING: While the boys are back holding the baby,
the girls are having a little trip.
Now, people say I'm unfairly critical of the dates team.
To those people, I present exhibit A -
grapefruits cut in half, staple-gunned to trees.
The prosecution rests.
Wait, is this an orange? Grapefruit!
This is so stunning, honestly. How lucky are we?
Fuck the men. It's all about us right now.
So, ladies, shall we start with a cheers?
To us yummy mummies being out of the villa,
leaving the boys at home,
finally doing a day's work in their life. Yep.
And we're gonna have a great brunch.
ALL: Yes!
Cheers, girlies. Whoo!
Girls, how do you think the boys are getting on
with the babies without us? Who's got confidence?
I do. I have conf... Yeah.
I have a lot of confidence in Dami. Dami is smashing it so far.
Literally, when I was back at the villa,
I barely got a chance with the baby because he was just all on it,
like, literally, all over the baby, so...
Does that make you fancy him more? Well, you know what?
Not that I'd ever be, like, a runaway mum,
but I know that if I was to have a child,
I could just leave the baby with Dami and he'll be A-OK.
So it's nice to know that he knows what he's doing. Yeah.
It's weird, I've just never had that, like,
motherly thing in me to be like,
"Yeah, I definitely do wanna have kids,"
but then, obviously...
I don't know, like, with Andrew, very long in the future,
I kind of see it with him.
How's Luca with the baby? Yeah, what's Luca like?
He's actually been really cute. I could see him being a good dad.
I feel like he'd be more of the, like, lenient parent out of the two.
No, honestly, Adam, he is really good with the baby, actually.
I wouldn't have expected it, for sure, but it's cute to see.
Does he want kids? Yeah, he wants kids.
I think I'm ready, guys. Really?
Do you think Davide's ready, though? Yeah, 100%.
Really? Has he said? Well, he doesn't have to say it.
Actions speak louder than words, my love. Hmm!
So, who do you reckon makes the best dad out of all the boys?
What are we saying? If we had to say one?
Dami. Not even being biased, but I'm going for Dami.
Mm, I would say Dami.
He's literally just so hands-on and so...
He just gets stuck in, like, straightaway.
Girls, I'm really enjoying this brunch.
I'm really enjoying it. The food is absolutely insane.
BABY CRYING
IAIN STIRLING: Davide's giving Irene a tour of the villa.
MIMICS DAVIDE: "Mummy shouted at me here,
"Mamma swore at me here, and I called Mummy fake over here."
Here's the terrace, where the mum has been bad.
You don't need to be a bad baby. You want to be a good girl.
BABY CRIES
Yeah, it's bad, the terrace. We don't like the terrace.
No. Let's go out. Let's go in the garden.
'Today, we are having a great day without the mum.'
She's a daddy's girl. She said, "Mamma cattiva."
"Mamma bad." Yeah?
BABY CRIES
LUCA: What on Earth...? Some lipstick.
CRYING CONTINUES
Put the eyelash. Maybe some of this.
Look.
CRYING CONTINUES
Let's go to see the boys now.
Saying, "Hey, boys!" Hey, boys!
BABY WAILS Irene, don't cry!
'We are enjoying our time.'
I'm sure I will be a lovely dad, very caring.
Yeah, I will take care of my kids.
"Hey, boys!" Hey, girls!
"I'm Irene, the new bombshell." THEY LAUGH
We got a new bombshell, guys...
Irene!
LAUGHTER, BABY CRIES
"Hi, boys."
Ekin-Su will kill me when she will see I put lipstick.
OK, shall we get rid of this? BABY SCREAMS
It's not time yet for this.
They can take their time. Enjoy, girls, outside.
We don't care, Irene. We are having good time.
I'm gutted that my baby's got Davide's eyes, though.
My baby's ugly. GIRLS LAUGH
It is! I'm sorry, it is.
It's really ugly.
I don't know, it's like... It doesn't look like me or Luca.
Oh, speaking of Luca, like,
did you guys sort everything out from yesterday?
Yeah, no, everything was fine.
I think, in a normal life situation,
I wouldn't be licking anyone's neck, do you know what I mean?
It's just he thinks, you know,
we're not right for each other if we argue,
and that's not the case at all.
Yeah, and, today, we're absolutely fine, like nothing even happened.
Indiyah, how's it going with you and Dami? OK?
Things are actually going really well with me and Dami.
# Damiyah! # Literally, you guys don't know,
but, like, two days ago, we may or may not have dropped the L-bomb.
Oh! Did he?
Spill the beans. Who said it first, what was the situation?
We were just in the kitchen, having a general chat,
and he was like, "I honestly really do love you."
And I was like, "I love you, too."
No, I'm so happy for you guys.
I've been on the Damiyah train.
I feel like everyone's grown so much in here.
I didn't think I'd come in here
and find someone that I got on better with.
Like, I trust that boy so much,
and I think we're both just so ready
to see what it's gonna be like on the outside now.
So, for me, Adam came in, and I've honestly not been happier.
We know where we stand with each other,
we know we're confident with each other
and that we wanna pursue things on the outside.
And I'm just like, "Oh, my gosh, this guy, who would've thought?"
EKIN: Now, Tasha, how's it going with you and Mr Tan-drew?
We're just, honestly, ever since we've become official,
we know what we've gotta do,
we've talked about moving in together when we get out.
I'm just...
No, Tash, we can see it. I can see it.
I can see a change in you, I can see a change in him,
and you both, honestly, are just two different people.
You're both so happy, bounce off each other.
It's literally fucking passionate, passionate, bang.
So, Ekin, how are things with you and Davide?
I realised, every time me and Davide sat together, as friends...
there was just some magical thing
where we just look at each other and just laugh.
So cute.
And I've not had that in a relationship before.
And to see him as a dad, please, God...
LAUGHTER Bless him.
..just give me some babies now.
Here's to the most fittest MILFs of Love Island 2022.
WHOOPING
# When you are mine. #
IAIN STIRLING: The day out's finished,
as have the careers of everyone involved in putting it together,
after what will be forever known as Grapefruitgate.
DAMI: Mm. Good, baby Leo.
Mm. You're a good boy.
Mm, good girl. Good girl.
The mummies are back.
We're back, baby! We're home!
Mums back in action.
Honeys, we're home! Oh, here they are.
WHOOPING
Oh!
What the fuck? Amazing!
Oh, she's not crying! You see, she doesn't cry.
No. How was your day?
It was great! Had a great time.
What's on his face? There you go.
Oh!
So, you didn't do any pram races, or throwing them about?
No. You didn't injure the babies?
No. I know when Andrew's lying. Like, he's laughing.
Why has she got make-up all over her face?
I don't know, it's probably the soup.
We done detox smoothie.
THEY LAUGH
Baby, what did you do?
Nothing. We are playing a game. Ah.
Me and Irene, we enjoyed.
Now it's your turn. Oh, no!
Now I'm gonna chill, Ekin-Su, so you... sort it out.
BABY CRIES Don't think she likes you, Gem.
No, she's just annoyed because I've left her with you all day,
so she's just showing me that she's a bit annoyed.
You reckon? BABY WAILS
What, she's letting you know she's not happy?
Do you want me to get her to settle? No, it's all right. I've got it.
BABY CRIES You sure?
All right, I've just got back. Don't push my fucking buttons.
BABY SCREAMS
Come to Daddy. Come to Daddy.
I think it's worse with you. CRYING CONTINUES
Well, this is not a very nice welcome.
Get used to it.
BABY CALMS Shh, good girl.
Well, Mummy's had a good day out.
Really? Did she, now?
Went out with Auntie Paige, Auntie Ekin,
Auntie Tasha and Auntie Gem. Mm-hm.
And then we had a lovely brunch. Mm-hm.
There was a huge cheeseboard with cheeses... Wow.
..salami, olives, Parma ham. Salami, olives, whoa.
And we had, like, fresh bread. Fresh bread!
And Mummy had two glasses of prosecco,
and it was really, really tasty. That's why Mummy's so happy.
That's why I can't breastfeed you right now.
I have to stick with the bottle, cos I had prosecco.
So now that, you know, you've smashed it this time,
next time, we can go out for longer.
I can have a day out, not just a brunch.
No, we're having a week off now, we're having a week off.
No, I can go out for the whole day now next time, not just an hour.
That's fine, isn't it? You've been off for the full day.
You were off this morning as well. It's cos I know you can handle it.
I'm the only dad that had a baby this morning.
I'm just setting the tone, do you know what I mean?
Oh, setting the tone. Yeah. This will not be a thing.
You can choose three days out of the week.
Oh? So now you're planning babies? No, not at all.
I just feel like with you I can just kind of see it as a vision,
like, having a little kid.
Mm! It's definitely gonna happen.
You honestly think it definitely will happen in a year? Yeah.
TEXT ALERT, ANDREW GASPS
Do you want me to look after Leo? Yeah.
Look at you, pieing Leo off like that.
I got a text! The boys are going out...?
TASHA READS ALOUD:
What the fuck?! Whoo-hoo!
First party with Mum and Dad! He's gonna be a raver!
We're going to a party!
# Baby, my heart is full of love And desire for you... #
IAIN STIRLING: Teeny tiny clothes scattered all over the villa?
No, they've not been rummaging through Danica's suitcase,
it's time for the baby disco!
# Out of control
# My heart is full of love And desire for you... #
It's all right when it's, like, your sister's or your brother's
or something, cos you can just give it back.
If it starts crying, we'll put it in the wardrobe.
# Down in my soul
# Now can't you see it's burning Out of control... #
What... Eurgh! Why are you doing that?
# Satisfy the need in me Oh, baby
# My heart is full of love And desire for you
# Yeah, come on down And do what you gotta do... #
I love you more than your dad loves you, OK?
INDIYAH LAUGHS
I said to Luca, I said, "I need two hours to get ready.
"If you come and bring that fucking baby up,
"I'll be in a bad mood all night."
# Don't you understand?
# Baby, baby, please
# Cos only your good loving Could set me free... #
Nah, she's fucking beautiful, man. What?!
Girl, you're more stylish than me. Poor father.
Aw!
DAVIDE: OK, get rid of the hair. EKIN-SU LAUGHS
# Oh, baby
# My heart is full of love And desire for you... #
Here we are. Aw! Ready to rock.
You're all dressed, ready to go.
LAUGHS: Look at his shoes!
Do you like them? Yeah.
# Baby
# Now can't you see it's burning Out of control... #
Aww!
ALL: Aww!
Stop it now! Oh, they've got names.
Have they? TASHA GASPS
No way! No! Baby jugs.
Aww!
Leo Le Page! ANDREW LAUGHS
Look at you!
Right, here's to making best friends,
creating the best connections and having a big baby bash!
WHOOPING, CHEERING
# Oh, baby! #
IAIN STIRLING: The baby disco's gonna be fun,
relaxing and a right good laugh for the parents.
In other words, nothing like an actual baby disco.
# We are family
# I got all my sisters with me... #
That was the best party I've actually had since I've been here.
The kids were breakdancing.
We had bubbles. INDIYAH: Mm-hm.
We had snacks as well, man. It was so fun.
# All of the people around us They say... #
The baby disco was popping off.
Sage was loving it, and had him on the feet moving around.
Nailed it. He gets all that from me, obviously. Yeah.
# We're giving love In a family dose... #
She's got moves like her dad. Loves a salsa dance.
Yeah, just had a blast with all the other babies.
TASHA: 'I had the time of my life.'
This is so adorable!
It was cute, it was nice.
# We are family
# Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah
# I got all my sisters with me
# Oh, ho, oh, ho
# We are family
# Get up, everybody, and sing
# Come on and sing it to me. #
WHOOPING, CLAPPING
IAIN STIRLING: What's the one thing no kids' party's complete without?
No, not some prat throwing up on your sofa.
A game of Pass The Parcel!
# Agadoo, doo, doo
# Push pineapple, shake the tree
# Agadoo, doo, doo... #
TASHA: Whoo!
Now back. Send it back.
What are you gonna do? Throw it?
# To the right Jump up and down... #
Oh, well done, Sage. Well done, Leo.
Whoo!
Well done, Sienna. MUSIC STOPS
ALL: Ohhhh! Right, Sienna, babes.
OOHING
"Pass the parcel to the sexiest mummy."
Ooooh!
Aww!
What a surprise (!)
What are we saying? I feel like I am the sexiest mummy.
She is the sexiest mummy. Can't complain, do you know what I mean?
Sienna agreed. She was the one that passed the parcel.
She literally passed it to her mother, so...
She knows. She knows the drill.
Come on, Rog.
Ooh, you're fucking head-butting the thing.
Ooh! # Feeling hot, hot, hot... #
MUSIC STOPS ALL: Ohhhhh!
SONG: 'Baby Shark'
Come on, Leo. Open it up.
# Baby shark, do-do-do-do-do-do-do
# Baby shark Do-do-do-do-do-do-do... #
"Pass the parcel to the sexiest daddy."
Hey!
What, who are you passing it to?
Andrew. No, no, no... What?
Say it again. Daddy.
CHEERING
# Daddy shark, do-do-do-do-do-do Daddy shark... #
Sexiest daddy...
I mean, come on, look at him.
I mean, all day, seeing him with Leo,
and I was literally like, "Yeah, he is one fit, sexy man."
# Daddy shark
# Let's go hunt Do-do-do-do-do-do
# Let's go hunt Do-do-do-do-do-do-do
# Let's go... # MUSIC STOPS
ALL: Ohhhhhh!
What are you saying, Irene?
Good girl, good girl. Good girl. Well done!
Oh! Right... So, the winners of Baby Day are...
ALL MIMICKING DRUM ROLL Ohhh, drum roll...
..Dami and Indiyah! CHEERING
# Baby love, my baby love
# Been missing you... #
I would like to say you just won cos of me.
Moving on!
Aww! Well done, Dami.
It's a little award!
Oh, shit! That's actually lit, you know.
"Best parents of the year, Dami and Indiyah."
CHEERING
EKIN: Well done. Thank you, guys.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You're in good hands, babe, good hands.
Yeah, when she's in MY hands.
Best parents of the year. Love Island, 2022.
Dami and Indiyah.
Yeah, that is my name, that's your name too.
That's my name. Damn!
What can we say? We know how to raise children.
We should have many more. Many more. Four. Today.
On the bed. Let's go.
IAIN STIRLING: And now, boys and girls, it's time for bed.
Night, night!
Aw, I feel like a CBeebies presenter,
except I don't have to do regional panto.
Well, for now...
The thing is, we'll be the best parents in real life.
Exactly. I know it.
You do know that, don't you? Yes.
And I can't wait.
Is there a babygrow over there? baby what? Babygrow.
What's that? All-in-one, babygrow.
The blue one.
Good night.
No...
Done. Great having you, won't be seeing you soon,
all the best. Right, Mum and Dad time.
GEMMA CHUCKLES Yeah.
What are you doing? Wrapping him up, nice and warm.
There. Beautifully done.
SHE KISSES Night.
Why does it sound like snogging?
ALL SINGING: # Twinkle, twinkle, little star
# How I wonder what you are
# Up above the world so high
# Like a diamond in the sky
# Twinkle, twinkle, little star
# How I wonder what you are. #
CHEERING, CLAPPING
Good night, babies.
Mwah! Mummy would bend down, but I'm in high heels.
Yeah, this dress is not the one. Good night.
Mwah, baby. Good night.
Good night.
CRYING
What a night, what a day. What a day!
Hard, isn't it, being a parent? I'm knackered.
It made me tired, honestly. Who?
One day of being a parent. Hm. Being a dad.
This is not even the real deal. Imagine the real deal.
Do you think I'll be a good mum?
Er... I don't know. I didn't see you a lot in action.
Everyone said I'd be a good mummy. From what I see, yeah.
OK, good. I think you'd be a good dad.
Thank you.
It's just nice to see the caring side of you as well, with a baby.
I think, all round, the boys done all right.
Girls, I think, you enjoyed your day out.
No. When I was here, I was good.
Yeah, you were, actually, and I think you will be a good mum.
I told you this.
Do you feel like you could see me being a good dad to your kids?
I think you'd be a good dad, yeah. To your kids?
Yeah, I think you'd be a good dad.
I actually think I'd be a good mum in the future.
Yeah? Yeah, I'd be the cool one.
Like, I don't think I'd be a strict mum.
Hmm... think I'd be quite lenient.
Yeah, I'd say the same, but I feel like that would not be the case.
No. Did it make you broody?
Me? Yeah.
I dunno.
I think when I was younger, I said I definitely didn't want kids,
but I've changed my mind now, but not cos of this.
Not cos of this. I changed my mind before this.
Look at him, dressed like a fucking dad with his shirt tucked in!
He does look good, though. So, Dami, are you feeling broody?
Broody? Yeah. I miss Leo.
Broody. Broody means making kids.
No, broody means that you wanna have a baby, yeah.
Yeah, why not? Like... Oh, my God.
What about you, Andrew? Am I broody? Mmm...
Yeah, like you feel like you can have a kid right now?
No. Not right now. Not have sex. Have a baby.
I understand. Yeah. Impregnate you.
No. No. Again. As in... Yeah, whatever.
But you feel like you would have a baby and...
Like what we did today, you wanna do it?
If I had a baby right now, I think I'd be OK.
I'd be fine. Like, obviously... If I HAD a baby now, yeah...
Yeah, but has this made you want a baby right now?
Or, like, soon? Yeah. I wouldn't mind having...
It'd be nice to actually have your own little person.
How many kids do you want, Indiyah? Four.
Four?! You want four? Yeah.
You better get cracking now, mate. Four!
Are you listening to her? Four, you know.
My vagina could not hack it.
IAIN STIRLING: Today's taught our Islanders
that if they do have a baby, they'll need patience, tolerance
and, more than anything, a full-time nanny.
# How long can I leave The lights in the ceiling on? #
Oh, what a day!
Does anyone feel genuinely broody after that, though?
I did this morning, when they first came. Yeah.
But then... By the end of the night, I said, "Fuck this." Yeah.
This is why I like being an auntie, because I can give them back.
# Cos I rock back and forth
# Reciting words That I've said wrong... #
Well, boys, first day as parents.
Dami, you took the win. Took the win. What can I say?
It was never really in doubt.
It's good to see that Dami's a good dad, though.
He's such a good dad.
# Oh, maybe there's something In the midnight hours
# The midnight hours, you know
# Maybe there's something In the dead of night
# When I'm sleeping alone... #
If anything gave me broody vibes, it was those little cups. Yeah.
But if we actually do have one, if we have a boy,
we definitely wanna call it Leo.
We definitely want to keep it and show Leo when he's older,
and be like, you know, "We came up with your name ten years ago!"
Literally during a challenge!
I'm just never dropping my kid at any of you guys' house.
LAUGHTER That's literally it!
Will you be godfather to mine? Yeah, if you want me to.
Thanks.
# Maybe there's something In the midnight hours
# The midnight hours, you know
# Or maybe there's something In the dead of night
# When I'm sleeping alone
# Where I always see your face
# God, I wish I didn't, though
# Can I have one night One night, one night... #
Night!
# Where it's just me alone?
# So I
# I know what it feels like
# So I
# Wake up in the daylight
# And my chest ain't heavy
# Cos you're not there with me
# Tell me when that will be
# Where it's just me alone. #
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