WWW.MY-SUBS.CO ﻿1
My name is Mario Brenna.
I am 40 years old. I am a professional photographer.
I work in advertising and fashion,
but the market has gone crazy for society work.
Everyone wants pictures of celebrities.
Pictures that show famous people.
They are no different. They are human beings, just like us.
Making mistakes, just like us.
The old rules have changed.
Now there are no rules. It's every guy for himself.
People, they pay one, two hundred thousand dollars
for the right shot.
But the right shot is hard to get.
You have to be like, uh... like hunters.
Killers.
The competition is, um...
crazy.
You have to use the imagination and be creative.
Take risks.
And I take more risks than anyone.
Which is why I am the best.
And why today Mario Brenna is as famous as the people whose pictures he takes.
My name is Duncan Muir.
I'm 57 years old.
I'm a professional photographer
working out of Ballater, near Aberdeen in Scotland.
- Duncan! - Uh-huh?
It's past nine!
My bread and butter work is traditional portraiture.
Weddings, graduations, that sort of thing.
But my passion, and what I'm best known for,
is photographs of the royal family.
Keep going. You've got space.
- Is that it? - Lovely, Duncan.
Stop now! Stop!
Where the Queen goes,
I go.
There she is. Quick.
It's very nice to be here.
She's a very special lady.
My wife sometimes jokes that I love the Queen more than her.
Well, I do love the Queen.
I'm a proud Elizabethan.
I get fed up with people criticizing the royal family.
I want to say, "You try and do what they do."
Showing up come rain or shine,
punctual and prepared with a kind word for everybody.
Does the Queen know me?
I wouldn't say she knows me, but she often smiles when she sees me.
- Ah, there you are, Duncan. - Here I am, ma'am.
Don't you ever get tired of it?
Not if you don't, ma'am.
No danger of that.
Is that for me? Thank you very much.
She has a unique way of making us all feel connected to her.
She unites a divided country through admiration for her.
Not many people can do that.
I think we'll miss her terribly when she's gone.
I'm aware that we've been running a little behind schedule
and that some of you have engagements to go to.
You'll be pleased to know that we have just three items still left on the agenda.
We have the latest information about the new royal website.
Thank you.
Robin.
Yes, I'm happy to say that since www.royal.gov.uk was launched in March,
approximately one million people have been logging on every week.
- What have they been doing? - Logging on.
Nothing to do with timber, Granny.
In other matters, we are pleased to congratulate the Prince of Wales
on becoming patron of the Royal National College for the Blind,
the Welsh National Opera,
and the Stained Glass Museum in Ely.
And the Princess Royal on becoming patron
of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health.
Is that it?
No, I'm afraid there is still item 12.
It simply states "confidential."
- Yes. - Why is that?
I'm afraid, Your Majesties, Your Royal Highnesses,
we must still discuss Diana, Princess of Wales.
It seems that no sooner had she brought the princes back
from their holiday in the South of France than she returned to Paris
for a secret weekend with Dodi Fayed.
While she, obviously, has every right
as a divorced woman and a private individual
to do as she wishes...
...this latest development has given us and the government some cause for concern.
If one were to imagine a friendship
between the Princess of Wales and Dodi Fayed
becoming a committed relationship,
there is not just the potential damage to the royal family
from a public relations point of view,
but also a fear that his father might use the association with the Princess of Wales
as leverage, and leave the authorities in an uncomfortable position.
How? I don't understand.
Well, because if the Fayed family is seen as good enough
for the former wife of the next king and mother of the king after that,
then how can the government reasonably deny him
the British citizenship he is so actively seeking?
- Precisely. - Oh, that girl.
Where is she now?
I want a progress report.
Dodi and the princess,
is it a success?
It seems very much a success, sir
No! No!
Lots of talking and laughter.
Talking? What good is talking?
Is there more?
Are they sleeping together?
I... I wouldn't know, sir.
Put the maid on the phone.
- Sir? - The maid.
Get the maid.
Sorry, sir.
Bianca, where are you?
It's the boss.
Mr. Mohammed?
I want you to tell me if Mr. Dodi and the princess are intimate.
You know the question I'm asking.
I don't know, but they sleep in one room.
Wha...
One room? Are you sure?
Yes, sir.
One room, one bed.
Thank you.
How do I find a good paparazzi photographer?
Not just any idiot with a long lens.
I want the best photographer on the Mediterranean.
Grazie. Okay. Ciao.
Ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao.
What are your plans for the rest of the summer?
Well, from here, I go back to London.
Mm-hmm.
To see the boys before they go to Balmoral with their father.
Then I go to Bosnia with the landmine charity,
but that still leaves time.
Because I don't get the boys back from Scotland until the 31st.
What about you? What are your plans?
I was supposed to be getting married.
Remember?
Oh yeah.
And now?
Now I'm probably not.
I'm sorry.
Does she know about us?
I thought I might fly to LA when you go to Bosnia.
And tell her.
That's brave.
Not as brave as flying to Bosnia and walking in fields of landmines.
Do you know anything about it?
- No. - It's actually a huge problem.
Quite apart from landmines killing thousands of people, often children,
landmine survivors are frequently rejected by their communities
because of their disfigurements and injuries.
That's terrible.
It was a man called Ken Rutherford who drew my attention to it.
He started the Landmine Survivors Network.
Well, after his Jeep hit a landmine in Somalia,
he lost both his legs.
He said to me, "Every survivor has a date."
"The day they stepped on the landmine."
He said, "Mine was December 16th, 1993."
And I said, "Mine was the 29th of July, 1981,
my wedding day."
Wow.
At least you still have your legs.
- I do. - Yeah.
Losing those... would be a crime against humanity.
Do you think?
See, I've always thought my arms were better than my legs.
Um...
Mmm.
Yeah.
It's a tough call.
What do you think I like most about you?
My eyes?
No, but I do like your eyes.
My credit card?
No.
But I do like your credit card.
Your hands.
Why my hands?
Because men's hands are so important.
Like their lips have to be just the right temperature.
Are mine the right temperature?
I don't know.
Hmm. Need to check.
Hm.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Hm?
- What are you drinking? - Bloody Mary.
Thanks, John.
- Welcome back! Hello! - Hello, all.
Here he is, Casanova himself.
Don Juan, Omar Sharif. Dodi-Dodi?
How are you, Dad?
Fellowes.
Right.
Thank you for letting me know. Obviously, I'd like to be kept informed.
Certainly, sir.
We're back!
Put your hands in the air! This is a robbery!
Move up.
Oh!
There's two there. Thank you very much.
Ooh!
- No. You've got to do it, we go past you. - That means nothing.
- Well, I put the card down... - No, wait!
- Mmm. - ♪ Hush, hush... ♪
- I won too. - You don't even know the rules.
- I do know the rules. - You don't.
Watch the red mist coming.
Ma'am. Telephone call, Mr. Fayed.
- Not now. - He said it was urgent.
There's a big, red box where you press the button
and all the cards just shoot out.
So, do you get the same amount of cards every time?
Hi, I don't have long.
I know. You're with the boys. Um...
I'm just calling to let you know that,
apparently, there are some photos of us on the boat
being offered to newspapers.
You said no one knew we were there.
I know. It makes no sense.
When are they coming out?
I don't have any more information.
As soon as I do, I'll be in touch.
The photographs were bought by the Sunday Mirror,
who, we understand, paid £250,000.
The fiercest bidding war in Fleet Street history.
The Sun and Daily Mail have each paid £100,000 just to reproduce the images.
What's in the photographs?
I gather they have several of the couple kissing.
Do we know when they're going to be published?
This Sunday.
With an extensive advertising campaign on television in the days before.
I'm afraid it will be almost impossible to avoid.
Harry, Pa's here.
Can you pretend to be less excited about leaving me?
It's not because we're leaving you.
No, it's 'cause you're going to your beloved Scotland.
With its rain and dead animals.
- I don't know how you can stand it. - We like it. It's fun.
Oh, it's fun.
- Where will you be again? - Bosnia with the landmine charity.
And then?
And then... few days with friends.
Like Dodi?
I might go back on the boat with Dodi.
What?
He's weird.
He's not weird. He's sweet, and he means well.
Harry, we really need to go. Come on, quickly.
Quickly.
Harry, he's waiting.
You're the best hugger.
- Come on. - Thanks.
Ah, hug!
Really? It's not for long.
It's three weeks. It's an eternity.
I need a world-class hug to fill me back up.
- All right. - Do it properly.
I've got my bag.
Phone call every day.
- Yep. - Do you promise?
Mm-hmm.
I promise.
- Hi, Harry. - Hi, Pa.
- Oh, another one. - All right?
- Good. - Got you in your ear.
Have you had some fun?
You look better like that. Perfect.
You got seatbelts?
Fingers.
Everything all right?
They can't wait to be rid of me.
Give it a couple of days, they'll be dying to see you again.
Have you got exciting plans for the summer?
Mm.
I heard Bosnia.
Mm-hmm.
The landmines charity.
Good for you. So proud of you.
Thank you.
Can I make a, um...
request?
Even though we weren't brilliant at being married, can we, um...
can we be brilliant at all this?
I think so.
And not just for them, but for us too.
She didn't get to keep the man of her dreams,
but the friend of her dreams.
I mean, it's much more than a friend.
Partner.
"All right," she said,
giving the brave smile of the runner-up, not the winner.
Let's be brilliant at divorce.
Thank you.
- But why? - Stop it.
Hi.
Good morning, ma'am. Um, Mr. Dodi asked me to give you this.
It's a satellite telephone.
So you can stay in touch over the next few days.
- Right. - In case things develop.
- Okay. - Ma'am.
Thank you so much, Diana. Thank you for coming. This is the ambassador.
- Delighted. - Thank you for having us.
Right. Ready?
This is the mayor, Mr. Begović.
Welcome. Your visit means so much to us.
Now that the war is over, we were afraid the world would move on.
But the work is only just beginning.
That's true.
- Welcome. - Hi.
- They would like to show you the village. - Please.
Hello up there.
He was with his father to collect wood,
and then suddenly there was a loud bang.
And how long has he had his prosthesis for?
So they uncovered a mine here yesterday.
- The Sunday papers, sir. - Thank you.
This one works with the explosion when you step on it.
Mm-hmm.
And the fragmented mine, well, it has...
it scatters little pieces of plastic everywhere.
After waking him up in the middle of the night?
Yeah. It was hilarious. Best night ever.
- Let's do it. - Ready? Go, then.
Come on.
Now, you remember the drill. If there are any doubts,
stand absolutely still and get our attention.
Ma'am.
Do you have a moment?
I'm afraid it's an 11-page spread, ma'am.
In total, the Sunday Mirror is in possession of 78 photographs,
which are rapidly being syndicated around the world.
Paris Match paid a million francs.
Lunch.
The Globe, an American tabloid, paid over $200,000.
The images have proven lucrative beyond anyone's wildest imaginings.
And now that photographers realize they can become rich overnight,
interest in the princess's private life is unlikely to die down any time soon.
Diana.
One would almost feel sorry for her...
if one weren't so cross with her.
- Diana! - Diana!
Diana!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Bosnian war is over.
People are trying to rebuild their lives, but they can't
as there are hundreds of thousands of landmines still hidden.
Every 20 minutes across the world,
someone is maimed or killed by anti-personnel landmines.
Diana, does the Queen know about your new boyfriend?
Gordon, if we could stick to the subject at hand, please?
Are you in love, Diana?
Please, can we stick to the subject of landmines?
We're not answering personal questions.
What about William and Harry? What do they think of your new boyfriend?
- Is this the surprise? - Gonna marry Dodi Fayed?
Where's next after Bosnia? Egypt?
Does Prince Charles approve?
Dodi gonna put you in one of his films?
- Please... - You planning a future together?
- Just another fling? - Think you'll settle down?
Is he a good kisser, ma'am?
Thank you.
As a publicist, I can't help feeling sorry for her.
She just spent three days campaigning on behalf of landmine victims.
That's the message she wanted beamed around the world.
Yet all anyone wants to talk about is Dodi Fayed.
And I'm afraid it gets worse.
How can it possibly get any worse?
News is beginning to emerge that Mr. Fayed
is engaged to be married to someone else.
What?!
A Californian model by the name of Kelly Fisher,
whose lawyer is now suing Mr. Fayed for breach of contract,
so I think we can safely say
this isn't going to get quiet anytime soon.
God.
But, in a strange way,
this does also present us with an opportunity.
Coming here today, I couldn't help being struck
by the two very different cultures at play here.
St. Tropez.
Scotland.
Scandal.
Dignity.
Irresponsibility.
Duty.
Selfishness.
Principle. A tabloid princess as opposed to a...
a broadsheet prince.
Now, how would you feel about doing a counter photo?
You and the princes.
Hasn't everyone had enough of photographs?
Well, if anything, this week's events have proved
just how powerful a photograph can be.
How can I justify that to the boys, let alone to myself?
Besides, Diana and I are getting on rather well at the moment.
I owe it to her to be onside.
I assume you haven't seen today's Daily Mail.
Why?
There may be a truce between you and the Princess of Wales,
but that didn't stop her letting her favorite journalist know
that you spent last weekend alone with Mrs. PB.
And didn't want to take the boys when they came back from holiday.
She wouldn't do that.
One weekend.
One!
So I... I do think we should respond in some way.
How am I gonna present the idea of a photo shoot to the boys?
They hate doing that sort of thing, and I don't blame them.
We tell them it's a deal.
That we've agreed to these photos
so that the media leave us alone for the rest of the holiday.
The question is,
where to find a trustworthy photographer.
Does such a thing even exist anymore?
That's lovely, Mr. McGettigan. One more like that, please.
Good. Good. And now perhaps one with Mrs. McGettigan.
Oh, where do I stand?
- Oh, just on the left, please. - Oh, left.
Can you swap me that light over there?
Good. A wee bit closer in.
Oh.
Oh, you're good. Have you done this before?
Oh, excuse me just a moment.
Duncan Muir.
Yes, that's me.
Oh, hello, sir.
- Okay, is everything in? - Yes, that's all I have.
- Is everything in? Are you sure? - Yes.
Okay. And, Duncan...
Right.
Just calm down. You're making me nervous.
- Right. See you later. - Good luck.
- Right. - Good luck.
- Why do we have to do this? - Because, Will...
- All our friends are going to tease us. - Exactly.
I very much doubt it.
They will. Especially if you wear a kilt and carry a shepherd's crook.
Like Little Bo Peep.
Little Pa Peep.
Little Pa Peep has lost his sheep and can't tell where to find them.
It's a bad idea.
A baaad idea.
Baaad.
All right, you don't have to wear a kilt if you don't want to.
Good.
Mr. Muir, hello. Thank you so much for coming.
That's why there's no salmon.
Because it's so low.
Prince William, can you come closer in, please?
Widgeon, come.
- Two minutes. - It's embarrassing.
- Two minutes and it'll be over. - All right.
Come on.
Lovely.
What's the dog's name?
Widgeon.
Ah, lovely name.
Perhaps you could throw some stones.
Yes, let's throw stones.
- Try skimming a couple. - Widgeon, ready?
The dog's enjoying it.
I got two.
Two!
Lovely.
- One! That's even worse than me. - Great.
- This'll be a better one. - Three. We need three.
Prince Harry, can you stand there next to your father, please?
- You come here. - Oh...
- Thank you. - You should chat to the photographer.
Smashing, thank you!
And if you could look to me, please.
That's the shot.
{n8}Well, that seems to have been something of a triumph.
The boys hated doing it.
I'm sure.
But, as a contrast with Diana's antics, it speaks volumes.
Hm.
Did you hear the latest?
No, what's that?
Apparently, yesterday she flew 160 miles
in the Harrods helicopter to visit a psychic in Derbyshire...
terrorizing some tiny village in the process.
Perhaps to help Mr. Fayed decide where his priorities lie,
romantically,
given that he already has an American fiancée, I understand.
Spare me.
Diana's behavior is becoming more and more erratic.
More and more reckless.
More and more out of control.
Diana!
Instead of learning from her mistakes,
I gather she's flown back to the South of France again.
I imagine she'll settle eventually.
Let's hope.
All one wants is for that girl to find peace.