[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- To start from scratch and make a rod,
the raft, the fishnet to get food out of the water
is such a satisfactory feeling.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Oh, holy [bleep], it's huge.
[laughs] Yes!
Oh, my God, look at all this roe.
Do have to eat that roe tonight.
[coughs] [gags]
- Oh, my gosh.
Moose poop-- it's really fresh.
If I could go get a moose, then I'd be set.
- Just saw a black bear in the grass there.
There it is, right there.
♪ ♪
[bleep]. Can't believe I missed.
You can't hit a shot you don't take though.
- No, no, no, no, no.
My quiver came off my bow.
I just-- [bleep].
That's all my arrows.
It's the biggest mistake of my life,
and it ain't OK to give up.
- Now there's just a wave of nausea
rushed over me.
Oh, what the [bleep]?
Oh, God. [breathing deeply]
[retches] Oh, I can't do this.
♪ ♪
- I'm gonna do this, man.
I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna fight this thing out till the last breath.
♪ ♪
OK, game on.
[bear grunts]
♪ ♪
- I got him.
narrator: In "Alone's" most remote location yet...
- Yeah!
narrator: Ten participants set out
to survive at all costs...
- God! - My goal is to stay alive.
♪ ♪
- [inhales sharply] Ugh!
narrator: Battling extreme isolation...
- There is no camera crews.
You are really alone.
- It'll eat at you, tear you up.
- God, why? - It's a battle.
Nobody ever comes out the same.
- Oh, man. - It'd be impossible to.
narrator: And fierce predators.
- It's a big bear.
It was right outside my shelter.
- Predators like that damn sure gonna kill you.
- Please don't rip my face off.
[marten growling]
He beat the hell out of me.
narrator: They'll endure merciless wind...
- Been over 60 hours, and it has not let up.
- I can hear the trees falling down around me.
narrator: And bitter cold.
- This whole place just turned into a frozen hill.
narrator: Last one standing...
- It's a moose, wow!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - No, no!
narrator: Wins.
♪ ♪
- [chuckles]
Oh, God.
[retches] [grunts]
Feeling a bit better this morning.
My back's still stiff,
but I'm not extremely nauseated.
It's day 10.
Today is my birthday.
Happy birthday.
I was dreaming of my son, and it woke me up.
It was a good dream. It wasn't a nightmare.
It was a good dream.
I had a dream he had made achievements
that he hasn't made yet...
♪ ♪
And I was happy I got to see him.
I got to hear his little voice, hold his little hand.
♪ ♪
I guess I've done enough procrastinating.
Get some pants on, get out from this sleeping bag.
♪ ♪
Instead of spending my days actively looking for meat,
I'll actively forage and just have my bow.
♪ ♪
I'm just glad I'm not sick.
I was dry heaving, and bile was coming up.
Man, that had me scared.
I was thinking, my God, I ate this bird.
It made me sick. Now I'm done, you know?
I don't know what it was, but I made it through that.
Feeling pretty good.
I'd really like to know what the moose
are grazing on right now.
♪ ♪
It's the first birthday I've been alone
since I met my wife.
She always has a way of making my birthday special for me,
whether it's just a card or a special dinner.
It doesn't have to be some big, immaculate gift--
not for me. I'm a simple person, really.
Maybe she'll conjure something up for me.
There's a grouse over there.
I just heard it.
♪ ♪
[beep]. I missed.
♪ ♪
I hit it.
I hit it, but it flew off.
[bleep].
♪ ♪
I'm gonna see about maybe tracking him down.
♪ ♪
I don't know if it's wounded or not.
♪ ♪
Wow, there it is. Awesome.
♪ ♪
Hell, yeah. Happy birthday, Mikey.
I got a bird, but I'm down an arrow.
I think Hazel sent this bird.
I told you she'd take care of me for my birthday.
♪ ♪
- Mm, it's like
there's a party going on in my mouth,
and everyone's invited.
No, not really.
♪ ♪
The danger of not eating for periods of time
is your stomach loses its ability
to digest food properly,
so I'm trying to make sure I eat something
every day, like, whether it's a handful of berries
or a little bit of fungus,
just something for my gut to work on.
I just don't want to take any chances of getting sick
over something stupid.
But I'm grateful for it.
♪ ♪
I haven't caught a fish in six days,
but yesterday, I set up some snares.
It's a passive way of getting food.
It's working 24 hours a day.
So right now, my plan is working on my shelter.
♪ ♪
I only have moss about up to here
so the smoke can go out the top.
Small, simple, cozy, and warm.
That's the plan, anyways.
♪ ♪
My overall survival philosophy
is to keep things as simple as possible,
disrupt the land as little as possible,
and become in tune with the land
as much as you can, and what's been nice
about this shelter is everything I've needed
has been within 10 yards of this spot.
I'm gonna tie off a piece like this,
and then I'll just stack sticks from there
to here on the outside
and give it a bit more structural support.
I was inspired to make tipi by speaking
with some of the Woodland Cree elders
that we met at orientation.
You guys know what time it is?
It's moss time.
I've seen too many times in the past shows
people who spend too much time on complex shelters,
blowing themselves out early with calories.
I'm just gonna tarp the section
I'm sleeping under 'cause I bet you this thing
is pretty much waterproof.
♪ ♪
Tipis are simple and effective structures
because you need very little to make them,
and once they're constructed, they're rock solid.
So yeah, that's it.
Permanent shelter completed.
Boom.
♪ ♪
This is probably my biggest caloric expenditure,
so now I need
to procure food
and do a little small game hunting.
I'm a big person, and I need to eat,
or my time here is gonna be brief.
Whoa! Holy [bleep].
There's a pine marten in my snare,
and he's growling at me.
[marten growling]
I thought it was a rabbit.
Yeah, he's pissed.
♪ ♪
We're not allowed to keep marten,
so I'm gonna do my best to try to release him.
I mean, I don't know what's gonna happen,
but I'm gonna throw my winter jacket over him
and just try to cut the snare off the tree.
He's defending his life, man. Like, he will bite.
They're vicious little [bleep].
Let me get a look at where this snare is.
[bleep]. Mercy.
[marten growling]
Where is the snare? Okay, I see it.
Let me cut it. You're almost free.
[marten growling]
OK, stay there, stay there.
Stay right there, my friend.
Please don't rip my face off. Holy [bleep].
♪ ♪
[marten growling]
- I'm gonna try to come and help you, my friend.
Please don't rip my face off.
[dramatic music]
Where is the snare? OK, I see it.
Let me cut it. You're almost free.
Stay right there, my friend. [marten growling]
You're free. You're free.
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
Oh, awesome.
♪ ♪
That poor little guy, man.
He just wanted to get the heck out of dodge.
He's still got the noose around his neck,
but there's nothing-- there's nothing holding it,
so he's gonna be fine.
[sighs]
That feels good.
♪ ♪
When you're using these types of traps,
you always have to remember that you can catch
other animals you may not be able to keep,
so you'd have to release them.
I'm gonna take down all my snares.
I haven't seen any rabbits.
I haven't seen any rabbit sign.
I don't want to catch him again,
and I'm just gonna cut 'em all down
because they're just so indiscriminate.
♪ ♪
Harvesting animals ethically, for me,
is very important because I've always had
a great respect for animals.
♪ ♪
Being an ethical hunter means making choices
that are in the animal's best interests.
So I feel good letting him go,
and I'm happy to wait until the snow,
if I'm here that long, to see
where the rabbits really are moving,
and I can set snares up accordingly.
But until then, I'm gonna focus on fish
as my primary source of food.
I did not like that, man.
I did not like that poor thing suffering in that snare.
[sighs] OK.
♪ ♪
- I got grouse, but I lost an arrow.
So I'm gonna try to make an arrow out of this alder.
Don't judge too harshly.
This is the first time I've ever done this,
and I don't even know if I'm doing what I'm supposed to.
So I did find a cool, little rock
with a little divot in it right here.
May make peeling the bark off of 'em
a little bit easier. Oh, yeah.
Look at that.
♪ ♪
I miss my family.
I miss Hazel and the kids.
I miss my son, Nikolai.
♪ ♪
I'm really thankful for that dream with my son.
In my dream, he was overcoming challenges
that he faces...
And he spoke to me,
and it wasn't, you know,
"Oh, Daddy, you can do this," or anything like that.
He just spoke.
♪ ♪
People, when you tell your kids to be quiet,
go on somewhere, or something like that...
♪ ♪
Just think that somewhere
there's a kid that can't speak.
♪ ♪
I want nothing more than to have
a stupid little conversation
with my son that's just meaningless.
♪ ♪
My wife, who shows that boy so much love,
never gets to hear, "I love you, Mama."
♪ ♪
I'm struggling out here, and I have a tap-out button.
♪ ♪
There's not a single day of his life
he doesn't struggle.
♪ ♪
There are these kids--
and, you know, some of them are even adults--
that drive around in these jacked up trucks
or these lowrider cars and everything else,
and they're super loud...
♪ ♪
And they really think that they're cool,
but they're not,
and my son and the millions of people
with autism out there,
they can't handle that.
Please just be respectful about the people around you.
♪ ♪
I had no idea what autism was until he was diagnosed,
and it still took years to understand what it was.
♪ ♪
A good friend of mine told me one time
that there's a difference
between ignorance and stupidity.
Ignorance can be fixed.
Stupidity can't be fixed.
Before I found out my son had autism, I was ignorant.
♪ ♪
I'm not ignorant anymore.
♪ ♪
That's what I'm trying to do while I'm out here--
have a greater respect for my surroundings.
♪ ♪
I love you all, and I miss you all,
and I just wanted you guys to get the full effect
of what I'm seeing here.
Look at that sky.
That's something off a painting.
Good night, Nikolai.
I love you, and I miss you, buddy.
I miss you with all my heart.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, holy cow, look at that.
I never even noticed that before.
Old wasp nest.
That's pretty dang cool.
Man, you talk about grade A fire starter.
Should I save that? That'd be good.
♪ ♪
Today, I'm gonna get to work making some arrows.
That's number one.
My snares have not been working,
and so I have not collected any small game at all
since the loss of my arrows. I'm here to hunt.
And if I can't win this thing hunting,
then I just won't win this thing.
♪ ♪
I was so heartbroken when I lost those arrows,
and I still am, but at the end of the day,
I'm gonna fight this thing out to the last [bleep] breath.
♪ ♪
As a hunter, finding myself in a situation
where my greatest asset is now
all but gone is frustrating.
I figure it's about time I use this bucket
maybe for the buckets most intended purpose,
as a chair.
♪ ♪
So I'm gonna do something that I've never done,
and, God, I hope it works. I hope I can do it.
I put some snare wire
on my grouse-killing broadhead.
I put a little notch in the front there
so it would want to stick.
Getting that weight up front does a lot,
number one, for penetration.
Number two, it makes it fly a lot straighter, I think.
Need to thin it down a little more down here,
but for the most part, it's a pretty good arrow.
♪ ♪
OK, I got these grouse feathers
and fishing line,
and I rubbed some charcoal on there just for looks.
♪ ♪
Feathers on, a little charcoal decoration.
I dig it. I dig it.
♪ ♪
OK, I'm down but not out.
I'm gonna set up a target.
♪ ♪
I'm surviving off of my pure determination
because I refuse to quit.
♪ ♪
There's Mr. Grouse in the tree, that log.
♪ ♪
And I've got my first homemade arrow here.
And the homemade blunt deal I got figured out there.
♪ ♪
Pretty realistic range.
♪ ♪
[laughs]
Oh, I [bleep] did it. Oh!
That's gonna work. That's gonna work.
[sighs] Yes!
I'm still in the game.
♪ ♪
- OK, let's do laundry.
Let's rub it all on the rock there.
Whoever said that wool long underwear doesn't stink
is wrong because this stinks.
Good enough.
♪ ♪
Today, I'm not gonna work on my shelter very much.
I'm going to go out and try to procure food.
♪ ♪
Being outside, it's almost like a church for me.
That's when I feel the best is when I'm out in the woods.
♪ ♪
[sighs] [bleep].
♪ ♪
This is a beautiful place, but it's a harsh environment.
It's been a real struggle for me to find food.
There is a grouse up that way,
so I'm just gonna try and get him.
Wish me luck.
I need to get some fuel in me right now.
It's gonna turn. My luck is gonna turn
I got him! Oh, my God.
It's the death throes.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
It's like I won the lottery.
Oh, I never even signed up
for the lottery once in my life.
Oh, well, let's go home and cook some grouse.
♪ ♪
It feels like my luck has just turned.
This is it.
Like, my story is gonna change now.
You know, it seems like I've just been slogging along
and nothing has been happening,
and now I got this grouse.
We used to go with my dad grouse hunting.
This experience has got me thinking about my mother.
She died recently.
I miss her.
There's a little bit of fat on there.
Oh, it just rips like you won't believe.
It's the thinnest skin.
I was always striving, as a child,
to do the best I possibly could,
but she didn't give me much feedback.
I think part of what my mom said later
was that they didn't want to push us,
so, like, if I came home and said, "oh, Mom,
I just won the 10K race," she's like, "Oh?"
And then she turns back and looks at the TV.
She didn't really want to say, "Oh,
you need to go out and beat so-and-so."
But I felt like I wasn't getting any attention,
so I was always trying to do the best,
and I still wasn't getting any attention.
Look at that meat. Oh.
I'm gonna cook this until it falls off the bones.
I need every bit of mineral I can get.
All she wanted me to do is finish my college degree,
which I never did.
I think she thought of farmers as kind of low life,
but my whole life,
I've really been a farmer and a gatherer.
The outdoors is all there is to me, you know?
I wonder if she ever thought I made her expectations
or whatever it was that she was looking for.
♪ ♪
Liver, healthy as can be.
I think, with my mother passing,
I feel like my life is passing by,
and I feel like I haven't done anything of any significance.
But being out here seems like a great opportunity
to see what I've got, see what I can do.
OK.
[moose grunting]
Holy [bleep].
♪ ♪
[bleep] something.
A [bleep] moose. It's a moose.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Holy [bleep].
[moose grunting]
[bleep] something.
A [bleep] moose. It's a moose.
♪ ♪
Look at that big guy.
Holy crap.
See him?
Look at him.
Look at him go.
Unbelievable.
Wow. [chuckles]
It's like things have started happening now.
♪ ♪
There was no potential for a shot.
It was too far.
Let's cook some grouse.
But I think that moose could be lured back
with moose calls.
♪ ♪
For long-term staying power,
a moose would be the way to do it.
I'm back in business.
I'm gonna win half a million.
♪ ♪
If I actually won, I would try to use the money
to help our farm come up with some staff
so that we could do a better job of farming
and keep farming until the money runs out.
♪ ♪
All right.
♪ ♪
Here goes.
Wow, good.
Ah. [laughs]
It seriously is so good.
What a gift.
♪ ♪
- Well, this is what the purple soup looks like--
birch and berries.
We'll drink some.
[slurps]
It tastes kind of bitter.
I don't know how much energy I can get off berries,
but I'll find out
because it's all I've got.
I ate about half of it.
I'm gonna let it sit and eat it later.
Now, I got to check my net
and then work on the permanent shelter.
♪ ♪
You know, I thought I'd be getting more fish,
but it's harder than I thought.
I've been eating berries. I'm not holding back.
I'm eating all the berries I got,
but I don't think that's good enough.
OK, see what's happening with my net.
♪ ♪
Well, ain't that something.
Put that net out, and it never catches a thing.
♪ ♪
I'm trying everything,
but I'm just not getting any fish.
But fish or not, I need a shelter.
All right, get the big trees here--
a couple of big ones.
♪ ♪
The log cabin I'm going to make
is gonna be the same type of log cabin that my dad made
and that I grew up in.
I've got to put all the big ends
of the logs on the forward side
and the small ends in the back.
That will give me a sloping roof.
And I'm gonna go about 5 and 1/2 feet high.
I'm not gonna get fancy--
just old, trapper-style cabin.
♪ ♪
Decided not to bring all my logs over at once
because, if I do that,
I'm just gonna get real tired.
So I've been doing a little bit every day.
♪ ♪
We're gonna be here into winter.
I know that.
And I need a warm place to be, a substantial place,
but it takes a while to make a cabin...
[sighs]
So this has to be done right.
I have to put the effort in.
♪ ♪
Ooh.
♪ ♪
I don't know if I can do that all day.
Might not be able to.
The older I get, the more time I spend out in the woods,
the more I understand my dad.
My dad was a real woodsman, you know?
They called him Blondie
because he had long, curly, blond hair as a young man.
He was a mountain man.
He just wandered all around Alaska by himself.
♪ ♪
So just being in the woods,
I feel I'm following in his footsteps.
It didn't take long for me to start getting tired.
Man, I need some water.
OK, got to get you some water.
♪ ♪
- Time to make some more arrows.
I'm just gonna be limited to how far I can shoot,
and then to the learning curve
of my own handmade wooden arrows.
Sometimes, you know, maybe I like to think
maybe we're handed adversity like this for a reason,
to force us into growth.
Nothing in my life has ever been easy, so...
♪ ♪
And at the end of the day, I'm supposed to be
representing my back country hunting community,
as well as my family.
I'm not gonna disrespect them by moping around.
This is the opportunity of a lifetime,
and I can't blow it.
I got so many people counting on me at home.
I just heard a grouse.
♪ ♪
This other arrow I've got,
I haven't test fired it yet,
so I don't know how it shoot.
There he is.
♪ ♪
I got him.
All right, awesome, man.
One very beautiful grouse.
♪ ♪
To take that frustration from my loss
and redirect all of that energy
into something that provides,
it's empowering.
OK, next camp chore of the day.
♪ ♪
I'm gonna go build a better cooking area fire pit.
When I finish, I'm gonna have a little food there.
[sighs]
I like this spot.
♪ ♪
Take the moss off of this rock.
♪ ♪
Got this wasp nest fire starter.
♪ ♪
And I think that'll work just fine for my fire pit.
Talk about a morale booster.
I woke up hungry.
I wanted to fix it.
I went out, and I fixed it.
Whoa, that is so good.
OK, get me a drink of water.
♪ ♪
For several years of my childhood,
things were hard.
I grew up in Central Texas, in a very rural area.
We didn't have running water.
We were poor.
And so, for me, as a young boy,
to kill was to provide.
I understood that things were different for us,
and I grew up a lot quicker than my peers.
And out here, I'm directly reminded of that.
And it's not upsetting because it's life.
♪ ♪
I'm very thankful for that grouse today.
Feeling a little better.
I think I'm gonna make myself a cup of tea
and start prospecting on some straight--
♪ ♪
I see smoke. Oh, [bleep].
My fire pit. [bleep], no, no, no.
[dramatic music]
- Oh, [bleep]. My fire pit.
♪ ♪
Oh, oh, no.
♪ ♪
The roots must have caught on fire
underneath my rock pile there, and I just about
started one hell of a forest fire.
Holy cow.
I got to get some water.
♪ ♪
I'm burning so many calories.
This hurts me in so many ways right now.
♪ ♪
A lot of smoldering going on still.
A couple of hours
and a couple hundred gallons of water in.
♪ ♪
I'll stay here all day.
♪ ♪
Every time I think I'm getting close to having
this thing whooped,
I see a little more smoke peeking up.
I don't think I'm getting close, so--
Lord, I hope I am.
♪ ♪
What an ordeal. [sighs]
I pretty well got the fire out.
♪ ♪
As you can see, I got another fire pit.
This is a much better fire pit, anyways.
I should have just done this in the first place,
but could've, should've, would've, right?
♪ ♪
- Guys, you got to see this new winter cottage
I just picked up, and I got it for dirt cheap.
Number one, it's a lakefront, 30 yards from my front porch.
Amazing.
♪ ♪
So it's got a walkaround yard, which is super hard to find
in Cottage Country these days.
Now, for the exterior, it's got moss
with spruce overlay.
It's got what's called a living floor.
Apparently, it's all the rage in New York.
Comes with a built-in fire pit, and my fave?
Skylight.
The only thing that sucks about this place?
They wouldn't give me fire insurance.
Why? [scoffs]
♪ ♪
After building the shelter, I'm feeling pretty hungry.
♪ ♪
I don't know what happened to the fishing.
I really can't figure it out.
Like, literally, I fish for minutes,
three nights in a row, and I had big fish.
I'm like, "Wow, this is gonna be awesome."
♪ ♪
I don't know, man. Got to figure it out.
♪ ♪
I'm not feeling very positive about catching fish there
right now, but I'm definitely not gonna catch
a pike sitting by the fire.
♪ ♪
Gotta get some food. Gotta catch a fish.
♪ ♪
It's all about food.
Everything else is fine.
Oh, there's a big pike right there.
Come on, take it. [bleep].
He won't bite it.
I love it out here, but I know that my time here
will be limited if I don't acquire some food.
Come on. I need a fish so bad.
I need some luck to go my way right now.
I think one of the biggest assets that I have
is I'm a stubborn bastard.
When I fail or I'm frustrated,
that actually makes me work harder to correct it
and create another opportunity.
My persistence and my mental drive
can help me in this experience.
Oh.
♪ ♪
Come on. Come on.
Move.
Come on.
♪ ♪
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yes!
Whoo!
♪ ♪
I am so happy.
♪ ♪
I needed something to turn things around.
I honestly haven't eaten in five days--
just, like, scraps of vegetation
and whatnot. Look at this guy.
He is a beast.
Oh, what an exciting night for me.
This fish means so much.
♪ ♪
Man, I never thought I'd get emotional catching a fish.
[clears throat] Nice voice crack.
Anyhoo, super pumped.
A fillet tomorrow, a fillet the next day,
and then fish head soup with the skeleton boiled up.
Almost as good as a fillet.
So I got three days I got food.
Man, so exciting.
[sighs]
Whoo!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Hell, yeah
♪ ♪
My belly is nice and full, and I cooked down
a bunch of blueberries.
Cooking all the moisture out of that can,
and then I'm spreading them out into cakes
on my gaiters.
I custom made my gaiters out of two layers
of marine vinyl so that I can dry my berries in the sun.
♪ ♪
Since I have that super cold North wind hitting me,
I would love to have two shelters.
♪ ♪
I'm super fed on fish.
I've got plenty of energy, so I've found
a spot for my winter shelter.
So it's further away from the beach
where the wind isn't blowing.
♪ ♪
Here it is.
I'm digging a hole into the side of this hill.
Not too small of a hole.
Want to be able to kick it in there.
I feel like an earthen shelter
is gonna be the best for retaining heat
and being truly protected from the elements.
I made a new shovel handle last night--
nice and cool for digging.
There's definitely big game trails
that I've found in my exploration here.
That's a big part of what I'm counting on
for my strategy. So my overwintering shelter--
it really is a bear den.
This is gonna be quite the hoist.
It'll increase my chances of big game encounters.
♪ ♪
That's as big a log as I want to move here.
♪ ♪
Theresa and Karie Lee both dug in,
but you're like, "I'm taking it to a new level."
My bear den shelter is a really small version
of a 1,000-square foot house that me and my family
built over a 40-year process.
♪ ♪
I want to go with a fully primitive shelter
to just, like, honor everything
that my dad has taught me about living in the wild,
trying my hardest and representing myself,
and my dad's definitely been a huge part
of what's on my mind.
It was really difficult to watch him
go through dementia and being stuck in bed
because he is such an adventurous person.
I got myself to where I am
largely because of his influence,
and this is my inheritance from my dad--
a gift that he's given me.
I could shoot a moose from up here.
♪ ♪
- Here goes.
Wish me luck.
There you go. That's better.
I didn't like it right along the reef there.
♪ ♪
It's hard to see my lure in this wind.
♪ ♪
There's a little trout there.
♪ ♪
Come on.
This hook is just too big for it, I think.
♪ ♪
Sure feels like something is grabbing it,
and that's just the bottom.
♪ ♪
There are no fish biting.
I think I'm about ready to call it.
♪ ♪
While working on the shelter, I haven't had much food.
♪ ♪
I'm only going to the fishing hole once a day
for my energy conservation.
And every day, I hope I get a fish
that will allow me to eat another two days.
♪ ♪
How long can I stay out here only eating vegetation
like a moose? Am I going to get more fish?
That's what it's down to.
OK, she's ready for moss.
♪ ♪
I really want to complete this cabin now
for two reasons.
One, that will allow me
to just concentrate on fishing.
Between the tarp, these logs, and this pretty thin layer
of moss, I think there will be
some insulative property to this.
And two, my father raised a family doing this,
and he was hungry.
He did it starving because we starved.
I remember. I was a little kid.
He could handle starvation.
He had just gotten used to it over the years
of being hungry, I guess.
I appreciate the level that he had to push himself.
He gave everything he had to try to feed us.
But dad being the straight-arrow, honest guy
he was, nope, he's not gonna take free food.
OK, getting down to the wire here.
When I was five years old and I was hungry,
I don't know how far down I went.
We were starving out camp--
the deep snow, way out there.
Children are more resilient
and bounce back easier than adults.
If I was gonna do this again,
I would definitely consider, when I was logging,
the size of my tarp because I'm pretty sure my tarp
is smaller than the roof.
I don't fault him for his shortcomings,
but I could not hide my disdain.
But the way I look at it is
I am responsible for my success.
♪ ♪
He was strong, and the challenges he had--
I have learned from those
with part of my personal growth.
I am not gonna change other people,
but I can certainly change myself,
be a better person.
Moment of truth. See how it fits.
There you go.
I'm ready to move in.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- It's a little after 2:00 a.m.
I can't sleep.
More lack of food.
I hear, like, a ringing in my ears.
My eyes were twitching.
I hear, like, a pounding or ringing in my ears,
like a "reer, reer, reer," like a tinnitus
or whatever they call it.
My body's just telling me that it's hungry.
Hard to sleep on an empty stomach, I guess.
♪ ♪
I can't do the starvation thing because I just don't have--
I didn't start with much reserve.
♪ ♪
I've worked as hard as I've ever worked on no food,
and my body is just-- I don't have the reserves.
Messed up on that one.
All right, I'll try to sleep.
♪ ♪
The fish are not pouring in.
There's no sign of moose.
There's not much else other than fish,
and I'm not doing very well at it.
All right.
Pull my net and see what's going.
I'm disappointed, but what can I do about it?
That's the hand I've been dealt.
I was more optimistic earlier, but nothing I can do about it.
Nope.
I'm running low on energy.
I'm not gonna be able to hunt
because I don't feel as strong as I would like.
♪ ♪
There's very low likelihood
I'm going to be able to stay out here very long
given the lack of fish I'm bringing in.
Well, I spent too much time on that cabin.
I used too much energy.
I'm not gonna subject my body to more lack of food.
♪ ♪
Yeah.
♪ ♪
[phone beeping]
♪ ♪
Good morning, it's Lee DeWilde.
I am officially tapping out.
♪ ♪
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming out in this weather.
♪ ♪
Ah, I just couldn't get no fish.
I'm hungry.
I'm working 12, 14 hour days on hardly any food,
and then the last couple of days, no food.
♪ ♪
I learned a lot about,
you know, physically, emotionally, mentally,
what it's like getting hungry.
You know, it made me think a lot more of my father,
you know.
♪ ♪
I don't think I ever--
You know, I don't even know
if I ever cried for him, but...
♪ ♪
[sighs]
I don't know.
It's just-- I guess I appreciate him,
what he went through, you know?
That's about it.
♪ ♪
This process of following in my father's footsteps
has given me insight into my own challenges
and my shortcomings.
I'm 59 years old, but I'm never too old
to learn or to change
or to try to be a better person.
I never was a very good team player,
and I held that as a badge of honor of my independence,
my uniqueness, and I no longer see that
as something to be proud of or to hang on to.
♪ ♪
My father was there in front of me
walking a trail,
and the fact that there's a trail in front of me
to also follow and see the good and the bad
is appreciated because I know now
where to step off the side and walk a different path.
Someone else is going to walk away
with the half million dollars.
It's not meant for me for whatever reason.
I don't question it.
This experience has taught me so much,
and I feel I still have more work to do.
♪ ♪
- I brought this sweater in honor of my mom.
This sweater...
is one of hundreds like this--
complicated ones.
She could look at other people's knitting
and say, "Oh."
And she would see all the mistakes.
So, like, all of her sweaters that she made were perfect.
I think my trying to go for excellence
is because my mom.
She was really talented.
I miss her a lot.
I'm not gonna go any further because I'm not crying on TV.
♪ ♪
Since that grouse, I've been burning a lot of calories.
♪ ♪
It's almost like I didn't eat it.
I need to keep eating, you know?
I need to have meals.
So I'm gonna try another hunt.
Gonna give her a shot, try to call in a moose.
♪ ♪
The only way I can stay here is to get a moose
because I'm not getting any fish...
Ah!
Sound doesn't travel too well,
but you never know.
They have better ears than we do.
♪ ♪
Ah!
♪ ♪
Oh, I don't feel good.
♪ ♪
I'm hungry, super hungry.
♪ ♪
I guess I thought I had more energy than I did.
I'm just not operating.
♪ ♪
I'm dizzy, and I think I'm having
a heart attack or something.
♪ ♪
Well, I might have to move this operation to the ground
because I'm not feeling too hot.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Oh, there. A backrest.
[sighs]
I think I'm just rapidly deteriorating.
♪ ♪
Let's say I actually took a shot at a moose,
and I actually got it. Then what?
♪ ♪
I'd be probably too weak to even get a moose.
I'm no spring chicken.
I feel extreme dizziness.
My heart rate is skyrocketing.
♪ ♪
Yeah, I'm really worried.
♪ ♪
This situation reminds me of my daughter
who told me, when she was three,
you can't rewind your life.
♪ ♪
I think my mom had a heart attack at my age.
♪ ♪
I don't need to have a heart attack.
♪ ♪
I really don't feel good.
I think I got to get back to the shelter.
♪ ♪
Well...
I feel sick to my stomach.
♪ ♪
I don't know what's going on with my body,
but I've never felt like this, ever in my life.
It seems like I can't do anything.
It's kind of disturbing.
I really don't know what to do.
♪ ♪
I wish I felt better.
♪ ♪
Ugh.
♪ ♪
My mind is good. It's still here.
My body, though, is not following.
♪ ♪
I still don't know what the deal is.
Is it just bad luck?
♪ ♪
Bad management of time?
♪ ♪
I wanted to be here 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 days, you know?
♪ ♪
Oh, Christ, it's not what I want to do,
but here goes nothing.
♪ ♪
[phone beeping]
♪ ♪
This is Ann.
I'm officially tapping out.
Oh.
I did it.
[sighs]
♪ ♪
Feel like this is my home.
I don't want to leave.
♪ ♪
Just don't have any energy. I just--
Heart racing.
I think it's just lack of food.
♪ ♪
There's nothing I can do right now.
I mean, I could try and get a moose,
but I can hardly move.
It would take me five days to skin it.
♪ ♪
It's a very hard decision,
and it feels like it's too early.
♪ ♪
I don't want to go. I really like it here.
♪ ♪
But I think it's a huge accomplishment,
even just to be where I'm at, you know?
I can't believe I'm here. It's a gift.
It really is.
♪ ♪
It's very frustrating.
This is not what I planned for at all,
and I sometimes wish you could get a do-over card.
♪ ♪
I was thinking about how this experience has changed me.
Even though I didn't do as well as I had projected,
I did as well as I could, and I'm satisfied with that.
♪ ♪
It feels like my whole life,
I've always been trying to live up
to some expectation that's not there
or be somebody who I'm not,
but I don't need that validation anymore.
♪ ♪
I'm letting it all go after this.
The apprehension and the anxiety?
I'm done with it.
I like myself, I've decided.
It's taken me this many years to say,
"I like myself."
It seems like a better way to be.
♪ ♪
- I got to get my shelter done.
Then I can go to fishing and hunting.
Oh, it's heavier than heck.
I'm earning every bit of that $500,000
building this cabin. - [laughs]
Rah, rah, rah.
I had two nice fish.
Yes!
I put them in a safe reservoir for the night.
That is a mistake that won't be made again.
♪ ♪
- There's a bear right over there.
If this goes down, I could be winning this thing.
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
[soft, tense music]
♪ ♪
- It sure is nice to have a cabin.
That's one thing I really wanted to do.
But I'm just hungry,
and I don't have no fat left.
I feel a little dizzy.
♪ ♪
I'm ready to go.
♪ ♪
I don't know what's going on. I did everything
that I think was right.
I had a wonderful rod and a reel, lures.
Got some right off and then they just quit.
My little fat reserve burned off,
and I'm probably burning muscle now and whatever else.
And that's just-- that's too much for me.
So finished my cabin, slept in it last night,
and this is all hand-built, you know,
with a saw and axe, and that's on--
that's on very little food,
and the last two days, zero food.
I just knew that I wasn't gonna be able to compete
with the people who, uh--
who are out there,
got a lot more reserves than me.
I don't wanna--
I don't wanna get any older than I already am.
[sighs] Holy [bleep].
What is that?
- Oh! Well, thank you.
♪ ♪
Oh, wonderful.
♪ ♪
Thank you. I'll take more.
Keep--yeah.
♪ ♪
[inspiring music]
I think I'm mostly a craftsman.
You know, I was an engineer. I was in the corporate world,
and now I'm a pilot and mechanic.
So yeah, I'm proud of the things I made.
And you know, I built the cabin
the way my old man did,
without a chainsaw and just materials on hand.
Because I always thought, you know,
"I wanna go out there.
"I wanna, you know, get back
to where I came from."
I wanna get home, 'cause there's some remote places
up in Alaska that I would like to have a cabin at.
♪ ♪
I'm 59 years old.
"Alone" show has given me the opportunity
to go out there and do this,
and I'm proud of that, you know?
♪ ♪
- Feel free to just take a seat right over here.
You're welcome in.
- When I was laying down,
my heart was beating fast,
you know, faster than normal.
I usually have a pretty low heart rate.
And I noticed it was thumpin' away.
- Mm-kay. - And after about four days,
I didn't feel like I was really there.
- Basically just gonna check your blood sugar levels.
And after we get the assessment in today,
we'll be sending that through to our doctor
and our dietician.
Just part of getting a baseline.
Over the next few days,
we'll be reintegrating food into your diet, obviously,
and we just wanna make sure that you're not having
any adverse reactions to that.
- Oh, well, anything's better than what I've had before.
[laughs] Ain't gonna complain.
[soft music]
- And take a deep breath in for me.
- I really thought I could do it, you know?
- And deep breath.
- I'll just be happy to get back and, you know,
eat more.
I wanna be a healthier person.
[laughs]
Yeah, I gave it my best shot.
♪ ♪
You know, we're all on a path, I think,
on the same trail, just a different time.
My dad was a real woodsman,
so this experience brings me back to my roots,
and it brings me closer to him.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- I haven't slept at all. My stomach hurts really bad.
♪ ♪
So much for winning the half a million, huh?
Now look at me. Washed up, no energy.
I don't want to leave.
♪ ♪
Okay, here goes nothing.
♪ ♪
It's the hardest thing, I think, I've ever done.
[phone beeping]
♪ ♪
Hi, I'm officially tapping out.
I--I just don't feel good, and I don't want to tap out
'cause I want to stay here, and--
♪ ♪
Ugh, I'm just 100% spent.
♪ ♪
I don't want to go back to reality.
Feel like this is my home.
I don't want to leave.
I'll always remember what this place looks like
in my mind, I think. It's so raw.
It's so primitive.
♪ ♪
It's a beautiful, beautiful place.
♪ ♪
If I can't get food,
how am I gonna keep living out here?
I just-- my health is going down.
I just can hardly-- hardly move.
I realized that there's nothing I can do right now.
I thought I'd win the half a million.
- Some tea for you. - Oh, my gosh.
It's something in a thermos. - Here.
Something in a thermos.
♪ ♪
Mmm.
[sighs]
♪ ♪
Oh, that almost fills me up.
It's like a full meal.
♪ ♪
It's a very hard decision,
and it feels like it's too early.
♪ ♪
- This is my cabin/the clinic.
We'll just be going inside and doing a quick, little exam.
♪ ♪
Your signs were giving us a little bit of concern
out there, specifically related
to the amount of water you were drinking.
The tentative plan is that we'll be flying you back
to the hospital just for a quick evaluation.
- Can't I just, like, have some food here
and stay here?
- Unfortunately, not with the symptoms
that you've been giving.
- It seems like too extreme to go from, like,
beautiful wilderness to a hospital.
- You have mild symptoms of starvation
since you haven't had too much food.
We want to confirm those through lab tests,
so obviously we can't really do lab tests here.
Making sure that whatever we do do
doesn't harm further and that you're also
in a state that you can recover well and healthily
- Right. - Make sense?
- Yep. - Perfect.
♪ ♪
- I wish that my story would've been different.
Wish it would've been more spectacular,
but I guess I just did what I could, you know?
♪ ♪