1 00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:12,110 [ominous music] 2 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:19,017 ♪ 3 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,886 - Let's see that spike. 4 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:22,154 ♪ 5 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,489 Oh. 6 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,023 ♪ 7 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,026 Ugh. 8 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,594 Still got a fair bit of stuff in it, though. 9 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,230 ♪ 10 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:34,799 - All your protein around here is made to get away from you. 11 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,601 Edibles don't run. 12 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,337 I don't want to go without food. 13 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,072 But I want a reserve 14 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,908 Just in case I can't go outside for three days. 15 00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:47,179 - Part of this experience is your head. 16 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,014 It's always your mind that gives up on you. 17 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:53,652 Can't allow ourself to dwell too much on home. 18 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,587 Otherwise, it gets you. 19 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:59,991 ♪ 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,559 - The fear is, 21 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:06,398 Turning this epic adventure into a great regret. 22 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:10,702 My legs are wobbly and barely can walk around. 23 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:15,407 And I do not want long-term health complications. 24 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:19,611 Hi, this is tas, and I am officially tapping out. 25 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:26,618 ♪ 26 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,454 [wind whistling] 27 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:32,224 - I'm going to do this, man. I'm going to do this. 28 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,860 I'm going to fight this thing out till the last breath. 29 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:38,796 ♪ 30 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,798 - Okay. 31 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,601 Game on. - [growls] 32 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,569 ♪ 33 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,104 - I got him. 34 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,473 Narrator: In "alone's" most remote location yet... 35 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:50,108 - [shouting] 36 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:54,279 Narrator: Ten participants set out to survive at all costs. 37 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,080 - The goal is to stay alive. 38 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,282 ♪ 39 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,617 - [winces] oh. 40 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,221 Narrator: Battling extreme isolation... 41 00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:03,589 - There is no camera crews. 42 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,823 You are really alone. 43 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:07,226 - It'll eat at you, tear you up. 44 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,827 - God, why. 45 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,129 - It's a battle. Nobody ever comes out the same. 46 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,097 - Oh, man. 47 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,265 - It'd be impossible to. 48 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,800 Narrator: And fierce predators. 49 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,435 - That's a big bear. 50 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,004 It was right outside my shelter. 51 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,639 - Predators like that-- damn sure going to kill you. 52 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,842 - Please don't rip my face off. 53 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,145 - He bit the hell out of me. 54 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,979 Narrator: They'll endure merciless wind... 55 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:31,116 - It's been over 60 hours, and it has not let up. 56 00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,619 - I can hear the trees falling down around me. 57 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,554 Narrator: And bitter cold. 58 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:39,090 - This whole place has turned into a frozen hell. 59 00:02:39,093 --> 00:02:40,926 Narrator: Last one standing... 60 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,761 - It's a moose. Wow. 61 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,596 - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 62 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,832 - No, no! 63 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,734 Narrator: Wins. 64 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:55,707 ♪ 65 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,028 - All right, I'm finally up and at 'em. 66 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,430 I haven't been sleeping. 67 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,098 I've just been chilling in the shelter, 68 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:24,303 Thinking, you know, making a plan. 69 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:27,138 But it's now time to leave the shelter. 70 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,174 And let's check out what it looks like outside 71 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,575 As I open the door, 72 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,478 Because I think it's going to be pretty cool. 73 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,815 Oh, there's some snow coming in the shelter. 74 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,587 And we open up into... 75 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,822 ♪ 76 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,457 A little winter wonderland. 77 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,360 It's pretty beautiful out here, actually. 78 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:49,361 ♪ 79 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,997 I like it a lot. 80 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,398 There's the old tepee. 81 00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:56,434 Doing a great job, man. I'm so happy with the tepee. 82 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,036 ♪ 83 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,672 Let's walk down to the water, see what's going on down there. 84 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,207 See how it looks. 85 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:08,347 ♪ 86 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:12,050 The cooking pot full of water I had in the shelter froze, 87 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,286 So I'm sure that my fish is frozen. 88 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:15,721 So I don't have to worry about that. 89 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:23,428 Oh, look at how nice it is down here. 90 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,796 Hmm. 91 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,270 I hate my mustache. 92 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,039 I hate my mustache. 93 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,708 I would like to shave it. 94 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:41,179 ♪ 95 00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,816 Snowy outside, cold and gray-- 96 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:48,486 Tepee day, inside day. 97 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,456 Just passing time. 98 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,793 So I've got six arrows left, which is pretty good. 99 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,461 But I have no more tips, 100 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,630 And I don't want to shoot my broadhead at a grouse, 101 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,066 Because it'll just go through and keep going. 102 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,569 So I'm just going to carve some wooden blunts, drill a hole, 103 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,437 And just pound them in the end. 104 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,940 ♪ 105 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,675 Winter is not coming. 106 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,977 Winter is here. 107 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,413 And the days to push are coming. 108 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,314 I know. 109 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,284 We got to grind through them. 110 00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:24,222 Like, the 50 to 80 days, those are going to be really hard. 111 00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:28,960 Really short days, long nights, not a lot to do. 112 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,429 You're malnourished. 113 00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:33,565 The fishing isn't going to be good. 114 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,568 You're not going to see as much small game. 115 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,705 And you're going to start feeling really sad, 116 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,074 Lonely, and dark. 117 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,310 Those are going to be the tough days, 118 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,946 Mentally and physically. 119 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,314 But I want to experience that. 120 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:54,086 It sounds weird, but I do. I want to experience that. 121 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,588 My dad suffered when he was a kid 122 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:59,724 Before he emigrated here from sudetenland. 123 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:02,727 When he was eight years old, he was actually starving. 124 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,228 He ate window putty. 125 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,064 He heard bombs exploding in the distance. 126 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,668 And just knowing that people all over the world 127 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:13,839 Are suffering constantly, and it's not the same, 128 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:17,375 But to a small extent, I want to see what it was like. 129 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,044 It's on there good. 130 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,846 ♪ 131 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,548 Right. 132 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,917 We have a grouse blunt... 133 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,754 A thumper. 134 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:33,592 Yeah, that's not coming off. 135 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,962 Two grouse arrows. 136 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:44,002 Oh, yeah. Those will work, guaranteed. 137 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,271 You hit a grouse in the side with that... 138 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:54,346 Grouse arrows ready for action. 139 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,113 Oopsies. I should close this door. 140 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,582 It's snowing in here, man. 141 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,317 What the heck am I doing? 142 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:02,253 Close the door, tenta. 143 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:09,194 ♪ 144 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,773 - It's very, very quiet outside. 145 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,042 It's just got that feeling of snow. 146 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,411 [exhales deeply] 147 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,546 I can hardly see my breath, 148 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,748 So my insulation that I have already 149 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,850 Is doing its job, which is good. 150 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:36,721 But as I was lying in bed last night, 151 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,991 I got woken up by a cold draft on my back, 152 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:43,561 And I couldn't work out what it was. 153 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,833 So I shoved my hand down there, and there's a hole. 154 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:52,770 On further inspection, I saw that the mice have bitten 155 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:56,741 Into my sleeping bag. 156 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,544 And they, I should imagine, 157 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,379 Are probably starting to take 158 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,382 The lining of my sleeping bag out 159 00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,519 To line their burrows with. 160 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:10,255 [laughs] 161 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,923 Oh, my god. 162 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,591 I have to work out 163 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:18,296 How I'm going to sew that up pretty sharpish. 164 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:20,732 Other than that, wood processing, 165 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,400 Firewood collection. 166 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,236 So, yeah, it's going to keep me busy. 167 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:28,339 I will stop procrastinating. Time to get to work. 168 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:32,410 ♪ 169 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,846 Ooh, water's cold right now. 170 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,681 Get some wood. 171 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,550 My greatest concern at this point 172 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,752 Is having dry tinder for my fire. 173 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,088 That's the only way that I'm going to survive 174 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,790 The colder days coming up. 175 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,959 The last thing I want to do when it's minus temperatures 176 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,461 Is come down to the shore 177 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:53,731 With the wind beating at me to pick it up. 178 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,134 It's the whole reason I made that woodshed. 179 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,337 That woodshed being gone 180 00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,639 Means I have to find another solution. 181 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:06,444 ♪ 182 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,645 I think I have a wood pile here, 183 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,947 And I'll put a wood pile up here, too. 184 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,883 If I do a little bit every day like this, 185 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,185 I get a really good supply going. 186 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,120 I'm not quite so sure how to say it correctly, 187 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,022 But you can never have enough wood. 188 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:22,327 [laughing] 189 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:24,462 English people will laugh. 190 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,264 [laughs] 191 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,398 Oh! 192 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,666 Oh, blimey. 193 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,236 55 years old--grow up, mel. 194 00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,740 It's going to require a lot of work 195 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,910 To fill up my shelter with the fuel necessary 196 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,314 To keep me warm in the coming weeks and months. 197 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,852 Getting a good pile going now. 198 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,420 Very happy with that. 199 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,922 ♪ 200 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:58,229 Who needs a sewing kit when you've got underwire bras? 201 00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:02,633 ♪ 202 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,869 [straining] 203 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,304 [object snaps] 204 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,306 [laughs] 205 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,607 ♪ 206 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,810 I think it's-- oh, here it is. 207 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:12,977 ♪ 208 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,245 Yes! 209 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,382 ♪ 210 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,316 Don't know if you can see that. 211 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:22,387 ♪ 212 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:26,857 Now I'm going to sharpen it on the stone. 213 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:30,862 I have always been someone that keeps myself busy. 214 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,129 ♪ 215 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,533 When I was modeling, it was work, work, work. 216 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,235 Pretty good. 217 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,003 Whoo-hoo! 218 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:43,341 All right, now this bit I have to bend. 219 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,477 ♪ 220 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,646 The industry in the 1980s 221 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:53,551 Was not such a social insta-tiktok world 222 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,553 As it is today. 223 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,855 It's like a little mini cutlass. 224 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,124 Arr! 225 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,660 And I treated it very much as a business 226 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:06,965 And not as a glamorous party scene. 227 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,533 ♪ 228 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,769 I have a piece of my scarf. 229 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,509 I was there to make money and control my own life, 230 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,744 Which is exactly what I've done here. 231 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:21,780 Ta-da! 232 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,015 I want to be here as long as possible. 233 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:27,118 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a needle and thread 234 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:31,656 Made out of a bra underwire. 235 00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,492 ♪ 236 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,060 Large hole on sleeping bag-- 237 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,295 Check this out. Look what they did. 238 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:43,468 ♪ 239 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,136 Can you see that? 240 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,205 ♪ 241 00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,874 I get my fist in there. 242 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,910 They're so cheeky. 243 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,012 ♪ 244 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,950 If anyone had asked me this time last year 245 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:00,618 What I thought I would be doing, 246 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,955 I would not say sitting on the floor in my own shelter 247 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,957 In saskatchewan sewing my sleeping bag up 248 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,127 With an underwire of a bra. 249 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:11,496 There. 250 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,832 All right, we're good. 251 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:18,636 I now have no hole in my sleeping bag. 252 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,107 The hole is no more. 253 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,910 Dun, dun, dah! 254 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,481 It'll do. 255 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:36,120 [dramatic music] 256 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:43,128 ♪ 257 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,139 - My ear's ringing again. 258 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,842 Hazel, tell nikolai that I love him. 259 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:02,080 Got ten days until his birthday. 260 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,317 Looking good, ain't it? 261 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,423 You guys have no freaking idea what I'm even doing. 262 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:15,092 ♪ 263 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,161 Damn. 264 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,762 Ten days. 265 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,564 ♪ 266 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,867 Kind of makes you feel like a horrible, horrible parent. 267 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,401 ♪ 268 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:28,139 He's probably going to think this is the coolest thing ever. 269 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:31,776 Just to know I could be home with my family right now, 270 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,911 And instead I'm not. 271 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:37,048 And he doesn't understand any of it. 272 00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:40,385 Son, I hope you know I've used up 273 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,987 A whole hell of a lot of material 274 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,323 Trying to make things for you. 275 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,058 ♪ 276 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,594 Eh, he don't care. 277 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,396 And that's fine. 278 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,730 ♪ 279 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:55,867 He doesn't need to care. He's a little kid. 280 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,335 ♪ 281 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,737 Here I am out here doing it. 282 00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:02,273 And I feel bad for leaving him. 283 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,742 I feel bad for leaving his mama with no help. 284 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:05,877 ♪ 285 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,412 For nine years, I've wanted to do this, 286 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,681 To come out here and push myself, 287 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:15,620 To see just how far I can go before I break. 288 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:19,823 But for the past three years, it's been because I'm broke 289 00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:23,427 And I can't afford the therapy that my son needs. 290 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,096 ♪ 291 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,566 I'm kind of hoping everybody quits before his birthday, 292 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,334 So I can be there on his birthday. 293 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,669 ♪ 294 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,304 That would be so awesome. 295 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,674 Say, hey, you know, daddy's coming home on your birthday. 296 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,142 That'd be so awesome. 297 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,344 ♪ 298 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:42,113 Nikolai, I know your birthday's coming up. 299 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:46,017 But if I quit now, every bit of this is for nothing. 300 00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,618 I'm sorry. 301 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,954 I know you don't understand, but I have to stay at it. 302 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,593 I bet after watching me work on this for so long, 303 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,362 You're wanting to know what it is. 304 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,065 Well, that's too bad. 305 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,835 ♪ 306 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,670 Almost showed you. 307 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:13,611 ♪ 308 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,013 Oh. 309 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,986 I'm a idiot. 310 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:25,156 All these little shavings is a fire hazard. 311 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:26,691 ♪ 312 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,226 But I can't have that. 313 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:31,495 I'm going to have to seriously dust my bed up. 314 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:38,503 ♪ 315 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,243 - Brr. 316 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,379 It is a chilly one. 317 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,649 It's calming down, but it's still windy. 318 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,320 I just loaded up my fire. 319 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:59,423 We may keep it going all day. 320 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,792 We're going to be hanging out here for most of it, 321 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,328 Cutting wood. 322 00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:07,031 Now that I know how much it takes 323 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:10,000 To keep it going for a full day, 324 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,803 I got a lot of work to do. 325 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:14,539 ♪ 326 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,740 I'm going to build a wood-processing holder 327 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,076 To cut my wood on. 328 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,110 ♪ 329 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:23,647 If I keep the fire going 24-7, 330 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,716 Depending on the size of the pieces I burn, 331 00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:29,287 Between 20 and 30 pieces of wood-- 332 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,322 That's got to be cut every day. 333 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,390 ♪ 334 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,392 So there's a lot of wood cutting. 335 00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,593 ♪ 336 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:47,105 ♪ 337 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,108 I haven't even looked at my arm today. 338 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:54,678 It's pretty sore, but that was to be expected. 339 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,246 ♪ 340 00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:58,816 Back when I was a teenager, I was helping 341 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,118 Our local volunteer fire department, 342 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,520 ♪ 343 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:06,023 And one of the basement windows blew out 344 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,893 And blew a bunch of glass into my leg. 345 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,497 And I went into the hospital and had a bunch of stitches, 346 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,466 And they cleaned it all up and what have you. 347 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,034 ♪ 348 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,403 Three years later, 349 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,072 I started getting just a wicked pain 350 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,873 Right where that had happened. 351 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,442 That is perfect. 352 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,110 ♪ 353 00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,445 Oh. 354 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:31,148 I think I'll bring almost every pole here. 355 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,950 I went to the hospital. 356 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:36,286 They x-rayed it, and I had a piece of glass 357 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,123 About the size of a .22 shell, and that had been in my leg 358 00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,825 For three years. 359 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,794 And I'd been walking around, never had a clue. 360 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,429 ♪ 361 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,831 My arm is not healing. 362 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,466 I don't know what's going on. 363 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:52,069 And that's all I'm worried about right now. 364 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,805 Oh. 365 00:17:56,076 --> 00:18:00,344 I am tired, and I am sore. 366 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:04,282 We're certainly over 35 today. 367 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:09,654 I mean, the amount of wood, not my age. 368 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,191 All right. 369 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:16,160 Take this over there. [grunts] 370 00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:26,370 ♪ 371 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:29,073 I'm just going to clean it up, 372 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,475 And I'm going to have a look. 373 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:38,216 ♪ 374 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:44,088 Holy [bleep]. 375 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,523 My arm--it's swelling. 376 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:47,491 ♪ 377 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,961 And I was squeezing it. 378 00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:51,428 And... 379 00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:52,830 ♪ 380 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,431 I noticed... 381 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,567 ♪ 382 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,635 It was a little hard, and... 383 00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:02,439 ♪ 384 00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:03,908 I squeezed this. 385 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,812 ♪ 386 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,281 [groans] [bleep]. 387 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,553 [dramatic music] 388 00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,389 - My arm--it's swelling. 389 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,790 ♪ 390 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,258 I squeezed this. 391 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,927 ♪ 392 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,130 [winces] look at that. 393 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,131 Oh, [bleep]. 394 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:32,036 That's been in my arm the whole time. 395 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,738 I don't know if you can see that. 396 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,307 Holy [bleep]. 397 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,678 Oh. 398 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,213 ♪ 399 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,148 Mm. 400 00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:47,151 Does that ever feel better. 401 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,619 Look at that. 402 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:54,024 ♪ 403 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:58,629 That has been in my arm for a couple weeks. 404 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,832 ♪ 405 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,901 And... 406 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,437 Oh, [bleep]. 407 00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,705 It's bleeding a lot, but... 408 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,376 ♪ 409 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,311 That is about half the size of the first one 410 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,846 That I pulled out. 411 00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:22,319 ♪ 412 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,988 Hopefully... 413 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:29,060 ♪ 414 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,994 That is the end of it. 415 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:38,002 ♪ 416 00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:48,946 There. 417 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,549 ♪ 418 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,684 That'll do for the day. 419 00:20:55,421 --> 00:21:02,360 ♪ 420 00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:20,044 - It's grouse-hunting time. 421 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,346 But before we do anything this morning, 422 00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:25,849 The lake is dead calm, no wind. 423 00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:27,618 We know what this means. 424 00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,453 That means we must fish for a little while. 425 00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:34,492 ♪ 426 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,797 ♪ 427 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,069 Wouldn't that be a surprise? 428 00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:48,172 An upside-down 20-pound lake trout. 429 00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:51,242 ♪ 430 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,911 I don't see any upside-down bellies. 431 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:58,716 ♪ 432 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,384 I don't know what the heck is going on 433 00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:01,952 With me and my gill-netting skills, 434 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:05,289 But I'm definitely lacking. 435 00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,825 Well, let's walk down to the point. 436 00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:14,265 ♪ 437 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,266 Is this ice? 438 00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:16,633 Nope. 439 00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,134 We're good. 440 00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:19,370 ♪ 441 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,139 Let's see if there's any action. 442 00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:25,176 There's got to be still a few lake trout around. 443 00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:26,944 Haven't given up hope yet, 444 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,380 Even though it's getting pretty late in the season. 445 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:33,284 ♪ 446 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,687 I'm probably halfway through the competition. 447 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:38,289 It's crazy. 448 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,225 I'm going to be here for so much longer. 449 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:43,360 Getting close to day 50. 450 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,594 ♪ 451 00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:48,231 I think I have food till 55, 56. 452 00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:50,934 Come on, lake trout. Let's go. 453 00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:55,672 Then I'll probably fast till day 60 and see how I feel. 454 00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:58,542 That's kind of my goal in my head right now. 455 00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,744 [gasps] had a bite, had a bite, had a bite. 456 00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:02,680 Come on, take it again, take it again. 457 00:23:02,748 --> 00:23:04,882 Take it again, take it again. 458 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,449 ♪ 459 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,686 Got one. Nope, damn it. 460 00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:12,389 [groans] missed him. 461 00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:15,526 I wonder how long a man my size could live 462 00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:18,295 On just half of a lake trout a day. 463 00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:20,931 Could you live for a long time, or would you die 464 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,400 Of some sort of deficiency? 465 00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:25,702 That was another bite. He's there. 466 00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:26,670 Come on. 467 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:28,539 That was right at the surface. 468 00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:30,441 Okay, there is something going on here, 469 00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:33,410 And this is really frustrating me. 470 00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:35,012 I don't think that's enough calories. 471 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,581 I think you'd slowly starve to death. 472 00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:41,418 I am slowly starving to death, I guess. 473 00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:43,020 There's another bite! 474 00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:45,256 What is happening here? 475 00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:47,424 Holy moly! 476 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,626 Just doesn't make sense. 477 00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:52,196 That's too many bites to not get a hook up. 478 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:57,601 I feel like I've missed my opportunity this morning. 479 00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:59,637 That's disappointing. 480 00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:09,246 ♪ 481 00:24:09,315 --> 00:24:11,281 No fish. 482 00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:14,218 I'm just going to go for a walk with my bow, 483 00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,920 Look for some tracks. 484 00:24:15,988 --> 00:24:18,288 I don't know. Maybe I'll scare up a grouse. 485 00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:19,690 ♪ 486 00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:21,925 If I was smart, I'd probably stay in my shelter 487 00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:23,160 And conserve calories, 488 00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:27,297 But it's kind of fun being out in the snow. 489 00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:28,432 ♪ 490 00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:30,501 Makes me feel like a kid. 491 00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:31,969 ♪ 492 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,772 Oh, no, that just made me sad when I said that. 493 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,974 I thought of my own kids in the snow. 494 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,910 Oh. [sighs] 495 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:43,180 Every emotion you feel out here, man... 496 00:24:43,182 --> 00:24:45,782 It goes from just a thought... 497 00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,184 ♪ 498 00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:49,086 To a strong feeling 499 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:52,089 Of either happiness or sadness 500 00:24:52,091 --> 00:24:55,725 Or feeling kind of mundane. 501 00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:59,630 But it definitely made me feel sad for missing my kids. 502 00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:02,199 Oh. 503 00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:04,200 Why did I have to say that? 504 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:06,170 Darn it. 505 00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:08,505 ♪ 506 00:25:08,574 --> 00:25:12,742 There's this emotion that I feel out here. 507 00:25:12,744 --> 00:25:13,677 ♪ 508 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:14,879 It's hard to explain, 509 00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,147 But it's almost like pain in your chest. 510 00:25:17,149 --> 00:25:19,416 It's like, oh! 511 00:25:19,484 --> 00:25:22,152 You miss 'em so much, and you just hope they're okay. 512 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:26,290 And I have feelings of guilt for not being there. 513 00:25:26,292 --> 00:25:28,792 So I think I'm just feeling that a bit today. 514 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:32,863 ♪ 515 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:39,436 Man, do I ever feel... Lightheaded. 516 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:40,837 ♪ 517 00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:44,107 That was, like, not a long walk, but I feel tired. 518 00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:46,376 [chuckles] 519 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:49,446 I guess that'll happen after 42 days. 520 00:25:49,514 --> 00:25:51,482 Ooh, rest time. 521 00:25:54,253 --> 00:25:57,321 [dramatic music] 522 00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:04,361 ♪ 523 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,197 - Brr. 524 00:26:07,199 --> 00:26:09,099 She's crunchy. 525 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:10,667 I was going to go fishing, 526 00:26:10,736 --> 00:26:13,837 But it's going to get way too cold on my hands. 527 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,606 So... [spits] 528 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:18,075 I'm going to slice up one of these mushrooms 529 00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,510 Here that I found. 530 00:26:22,714 --> 00:26:24,514 This is a really good score of mushrooms. 531 00:26:24,516 --> 00:26:27,551 There's a lot of weight of mushroom here. 532 00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:29,820 And... 533 00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:34,091 You can see the combing on the bottom of them 534 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:37,094 And where the mice and the squirrels 535 00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:39,162 Have all been chewing at them. 536 00:26:39,231 --> 00:26:41,665 Never ate that mushroom before. 537 00:26:41,734 --> 00:26:45,936 And I've never laid my hands on one before. 538 00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:49,540 But I also have never, ever found a mushroom 539 00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:51,675 That the squirrels and the mice and stuff 540 00:26:51,744 --> 00:26:55,579 Are eating that we can't eat, too. 541 00:26:55,647 --> 00:26:56,847 So... 542 00:26:56,915 --> 00:26:58,182 ♪ 543 00:26:58,184 --> 00:26:59,382 We're going to find out. 544 00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:03,453 I'm going to roll the dice. 545 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:04,855 ♪ 546 00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:08,258 I'm not sure what type of mushroom these are. 547 00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:11,628 So eating them might be a bad idea. 548 00:27:11,697 --> 00:27:13,196 ♪ 549 00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:16,900 But I'm really hoping that these are good... 550 00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:19,335 ♪ 551 00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:22,072 Because I got a lot... 552 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:26,309 Of nutrient in these... 553 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:27,978 ♪ 554 00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:29,980 Handful of mushrooms. 555 00:27:30,116 --> 00:27:31,448 ♪ 556 00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:34,818 Mushrooms can kill you very quickly. 557 00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:38,155 Some of them will just give you a severe gut rot. 558 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:42,893 Others will give you a cruel, painful, slow death. 559 00:27:42,895 --> 00:27:44,561 And there's no stopping it. 560 00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:47,697 You're going to have cramping and pain 561 00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:49,499 Like you've never felt before 562 00:27:49,635 --> 00:27:51,368 Until your body completely shuts down 563 00:27:51,436 --> 00:27:53,003 And you're dead. 564 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:56,774 But I'm taking a chance on it. 565 00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:58,708 I want to keep eating. 566 00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:00,110 ♪ 567 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:02,345 That's what I'm going to take for a piece... 568 00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:03,747 [sniffs] 569 00:28:03,749 --> 00:28:05,249 Right there. 570 00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:11,354 I'm just going to stick it there. 571 00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:14,858 My mom taught me how to do this. 572 00:28:14,994 --> 00:28:19,596 They say that if they're poisonous... 573 00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:27,771 Within a half hour or so... 574 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,940 You'll know. 575 00:28:30,075 --> 00:28:34,010 And if I feel anything ugly, we'll get rid of it. 576 00:28:34,013 --> 00:28:35,879 So let's go for a walk. 577 00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:37,081 ♪ 578 00:28:37,149 --> 00:28:39,082 We're going to go check our snares... 579 00:28:39,151 --> 00:28:40,617 ♪ 580 00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:43,720 See if we can't find another grouse or squirrel. 581 00:28:43,789 --> 00:28:48,391 Fish is my priority, but everything else is a bonus 582 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:50,494 That I'll welcome greatly. 583 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:54,097 ♪ 584 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:58,401 Got our mushrooms simmering in the pot... 585 00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:01,939 One stuck under the gums. 586 00:29:01,941 --> 00:29:04,207 Let's go see what we can find. 587 00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:09,713 ♪ 588 00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:15,719 ♪ 589 00:29:17,990 --> 00:29:21,091 ♪ 590 00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:34,905 ♪ 591 00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:48,118 ♪ 592 00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:02,432 ♪ 593 00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:11,975 ♪ 594 00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:16,246 Okay. 595 00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:25,389 ♪ 596 00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:39,903 [dramatic music] 597 00:30:41,773 --> 00:30:43,240 ♪ 598 00:30:45,811 --> 00:30:52,749 ♪ 599 00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,820 There we go. 600 00:30:56,822 --> 00:30:59,122 ♪ 601 00:31:01,159 --> 00:31:08,165 ♪ 602 00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:14,704 Let me make sure it's dead. 603 00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:17,107 ♪ 604 00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:18,575 There we go. 605 00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:26,616 ♪ 606 00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:30,787 So, after quite a display... 607 00:31:30,789 --> 00:31:32,990 We get two more grouse. 608 00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:36,393 [grunts] there, is that better? 609 00:31:36,461 --> 00:31:39,396 We got two more grouse. Oh, got blood all over. 610 00:31:44,602 --> 00:31:46,269 We got two grouse, 611 00:31:46,271 --> 00:31:49,739 And we found that... 612 00:31:49,808 --> 00:31:51,608 The mushrooms, 613 00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:53,710 I'm pretty sure-- 614 00:31:53,712 --> 00:31:55,011 Well, I was sure before, 615 00:31:55,014 --> 00:31:59,282 But now I'm even more sure that they're fine, 616 00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:03,219 Which is going to make these next couple pots of soup 617 00:32:03,355 --> 00:32:05,455 So much better. 618 00:32:05,457 --> 00:32:07,424 I couldn't be happier about that. 619 00:32:07,559 --> 00:32:13,629 ♪ 620 00:32:13,699 --> 00:32:15,732 Thing of beauty. 621 00:32:15,734 --> 00:32:19,136 I am going to have a full belly tonight. 622 00:32:19,138 --> 00:32:22,539 I am so looking forward to that soup. 623 00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:25,608 This one doesn't want to pluck easy. 624 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:27,811 Now that I got that chunk of lumber out of my arm 625 00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:31,915 And I'm not carrying that around, we're feeling good. 626 00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:35,085 Every day we're one step closer. 627 00:32:35,153 --> 00:32:37,321 Energy's good. 628 00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:39,089 Things are going good. 629 00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,290 ♪ 630 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:43,426 Hard to imagine... 631 00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:46,797 But my dad and my grandfather... 632 00:32:46,799 --> 00:32:50,099 Were teaching to me these skills... 633 00:32:50,169 --> 00:32:52,702 Since I can remember. 634 00:32:52,838 --> 00:32:54,971 Dad's still around to thank for it. 635 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,173 ♪ 636 00:32:56,241 --> 00:33:00,810 Grandpa, well, like I say, he's been and gone. 637 00:33:00,813 --> 00:33:02,145 But... 638 00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:03,646 ♪ 639 00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:07,984 I was a very fortunate, fortunate person to... 640 00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:11,588 ♪ 641 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,357 Get to enjoy as much time with him as I did. 642 00:33:14,426 --> 00:33:17,260 ♪ 643 00:33:17,262 --> 00:33:20,130 I got to spend 35 years with him. 644 00:33:20,198 --> 00:33:22,599 December 10, 2006, 645 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:26,103 My grandfather shot his last deer 646 00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:28,572 With me and my dad. 647 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,442 And on March 8, 2007, he was dead. 648 00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:35,612 He did what he did right up until the day he died. 649 00:33:35,614 --> 00:33:37,380 ♪ 650 00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:40,751 Oh, that there's roasting up nicely. 651 00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:45,755 And that is an inspiration to me to do the same. 652 00:33:45,824 --> 00:33:47,857 That's one thing he taught me-- 653 00:33:47,993 --> 00:33:50,893 Was you go until you can't go anymore. 654 00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:53,830 That's what I'm going to do. 655 00:33:53,832 --> 00:33:56,099 I don't know how everyone else is today, 656 00:33:56,101 --> 00:33:59,169 But I got lots in me left--lots. 657 00:33:59,237 --> 00:34:01,438 We're not going nowhere. 658 00:34:01,506 --> 00:34:03,973 Enough talking. Jeez. 659 00:34:03,975 --> 00:34:06,476 It's all I've been doing all day is talking. 660 00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:13,350 ♪ 661 00:34:22,428 --> 00:34:24,961 - Are you ready to check the deadfall? 662 00:34:25,030 --> 00:34:27,230 Ten, nine, eight, seven, 663 00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:30,033 Six, five, four, three, two, one. 664 00:34:32,304 --> 00:34:33,503 Yes! 665 00:34:33,505 --> 00:34:35,972 We have a mouse. 666 00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:38,374 I knew we had a mouse. 667 00:34:38,376 --> 00:34:41,511 I will set up that deadfall again. 668 00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:43,880 You were fun... 669 00:34:43,882 --> 00:34:47,450 But now you are not. 670 00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:49,252 Dead mouse. Awesome. 671 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,788 I will skin him, preserve his pelt, 672 00:34:51,790 --> 00:34:54,057 And then part of me wants to walk inland 673 00:34:54,193 --> 00:34:56,326 And get some more rock tripe. 674 00:34:56,394 --> 00:34:58,195 Very happy. 675 00:34:58,197 --> 00:35:01,197 ♪ 676 00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:03,767 I feel like I am a good friend of death. 677 00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,434 ♪ 678 00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:09,338 When my mom contracted cancer for the second time 679 00:35:09,408 --> 00:35:13,609 And she decided to refuse chemo and radio, 680 00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:16,145 I didn't feel anything. 681 00:35:16,215 --> 00:35:17,214 ♪ 682 00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:19,950 Okay, skins really easily. 683 00:35:19,952 --> 00:35:20,884 ♪ 684 00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:22,652 I just... 685 00:35:22,721 --> 00:35:26,456 Bury myself in the rest of my life. 686 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,425 That's a thigh-- 687 00:35:28,427 --> 00:35:32,028 The tiniest drumstick I will ever eat. 688 00:35:32,097 --> 00:35:34,497 And, honestly, 689 00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:37,767 Being a model, you spend your life-- 690 00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:39,436 Or I did, anyway-- 691 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:42,305 Getting on planes by myself, going to hotels by myself, 692 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:43,839 Going to the studio. 693 00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:47,510 It was a very transient life of travel 694 00:35:47,512 --> 00:35:51,113 And not really allowing yourself 695 00:35:51,183 --> 00:35:54,684 To become emotionally involved in anybody else. 696 00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:56,419 Take that brain out. 697 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:58,421 ♪ 698 00:35:58,423 --> 00:36:00,023 There we go. 699 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,092 I never let people get close to me. 700 00:36:02,094 --> 00:36:06,930 I could just appear, work, and disappear. 701 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:08,331 ♪ 702 00:36:08,399 --> 00:36:10,266 Take the mouse with me. 703 00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:14,671 So it was a buffer for any pain that I was feeling. 704 00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:16,439 Okay. 705 00:36:16,441 --> 00:36:19,743 ♪ 706 00:36:19,811 --> 00:36:22,946 Every trauma that I've had in my life, I put it in a box, 707 00:36:22,948 --> 00:36:24,880 And I put it in the back of my head, 708 00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:26,149 And I forget about it. 709 00:36:26,217 --> 00:36:27,783 ♪ 710 00:36:27,785 --> 00:36:29,753 I just lock it away. 711 00:36:29,755 --> 00:36:33,223 ♪ 712 00:36:33,291 --> 00:36:36,058 I'm learning that this experience right now 713 00:36:36,128 --> 00:36:38,194 Is making me open my boxes 714 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,730 And set all of those things free. 715 00:36:40,732 --> 00:36:47,704 ♪ 716 00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:55,645 [sighs contentedly] 717 00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:57,414 I have four things 718 00:36:57,416 --> 00:37:00,383 Which a lot of people do not have in this world. 719 00:37:01,919 --> 00:37:03,787 I have love. 720 00:37:03,855 --> 00:37:06,622 I have a home. 721 00:37:06,691 --> 00:37:07,957 I have choice. 722 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:10,793 And I have freedom. 723 00:37:10,862 --> 00:37:13,830 I'm very lucky to have those four things. 724 00:37:16,368 --> 00:37:19,069 I have... 725 00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:22,205 My lovely man... 726 00:37:22,207 --> 00:37:25,008 And felix and luca and ollie. 727 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:26,576 I have a home, 728 00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:30,714 Which brian built and has welcomed me into. 729 00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:33,916 I have freedom to make the decisions 730 00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:36,519 And choices... 731 00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:39,522 To decide what to do with my freedom. 732 00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:50,000 You never know... 733 00:37:50,002 --> 00:37:53,903 How long you have in this world. 734 00:37:53,905 --> 00:37:56,206 ♪ 735 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:58,975 Every day is a gift. 736 00:37:58,977 --> 00:38:00,743 ♪ 737 00:38:00,745 --> 00:38:04,814 My mom passed from cancer in her 60s. 738 00:38:04,816 --> 00:38:07,984 ♪ 739 00:38:08,052 --> 00:38:09,586 I'm 55. 740 00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:12,122 ♪ 741 00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:14,591 So I kind of feel... 742 00:38:14,659 --> 00:38:19,028 Every day is special and precious... 743 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,030 Because you just don't know. 744 00:38:21,099 --> 00:38:28,038 ♪ 745 00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:34,944 [sniffles] 746 00:38:35,079 --> 00:38:37,179 ♪ 747 00:38:37,249 --> 00:38:39,081 I had plans for today. 748 00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:40,483 They changed. 749 00:38:40,552 --> 00:38:44,621 ♪ 750 00:38:44,623 --> 00:38:46,323 That's okay. 751 00:38:46,325 --> 00:38:48,591 It's part of mel change. 752 00:38:48,593 --> 00:38:52,528 Normally, I would have fought on... 753 00:38:52,597 --> 00:38:53,696 ♪ 754 00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:56,032 Made myself do things. 755 00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,700 ♪ 756 00:38:57,769 --> 00:39:01,304 Mm, now I'm just listening to what I really want to do. 757 00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:06,842 ♪ 758 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,744 [grunts] 759 00:39:08,746 --> 00:39:11,013 ♪ 760 00:39:11,082 --> 00:39:13,349 [breathes deeply] 761 00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:15,918 So I'll take a walk down to the beach. 762 00:39:15,987 --> 00:39:22,859 ♪ 763 00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:24,694 I've come around the corner, 764 00:39:24,763 --> 00:39:29,132 And seen this absolutely beautiful sky. 765 00:39:29,134 --> 00:39:31,468 Saskatchewan seriously knows how to do a sunset. 766 00:39:31,602 --> 00:39:32,602 That's for sure. 767 00:39:32,670 --> 00:39:35,171 ♪ 768 00:39:35,173 --> 00:39:38,507 I'm realizing that I can be in the moment 769 00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:42,112 And really enjoy watching the colors change 770 00:39:42,180 --> 00:39:44,947 From blue to red to orange. 771 00:39:45,016 --> 00:39:48,518 And I'm noticing so many more details 772 00:39:48,586 --> 00:39:51,053 Instead of just rushing over things 773 00:39:51,122 --> 00:39:53,389 Like I normally do when it's to do with me. 774 00:39:53,458 --> 00:39:55,325 These feelings are so new. 775 00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,393 It's like being set free. 776 00:39:57,462 --> 00:40:01,297 It's like opening the door to a cage, 777 00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:03,299 And I'm able to fly out. 778 00:40:03,301 --> 00:40:05,802 ♪ 779 00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:18,214 [dramatic music] 780 00:40:18,216 --> 00:40:25,188 ♪ 781 00:40:33,265 --> 00:40:35,198 - [sniffing] 782 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:39,202 ♪ 783 00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:46,176 - Well, hunting may be a bust today. 784 00:40:46,244 --> 00:40:49,679 I didn't see [bleep], nothing. It was just cold. 785 00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:54,350 So we're back to the times I hate... 786 00:40:54,352 --> 00:40:56,285 Boring times. 787 00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:57,620 ♪ 788 00:40:57,756 --> 00:40:59,923 In the darkness, when you're just sitting there 789 00:40:59,991 --> 00:41:01,591 Staring up at the ceiling, 790 00:41:01,659 --> 00:41:04,160 That's when everything starts coming out. 791 00:41:04,229 --> 00:41:05,761 ♪ 792 00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:07,363 It's worms in your head. 793 00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:08,797 And they'll keep eating away at you 794 00:41:08,867 --> 00:41:10,633 And eating away at you till there's nothing left, 795 00:41:10,702 --> 00:41:12,201 And you'll break down... 796 00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:14,304 ♪ 797 00:41:14,306 --> 00:41:16,439 Because the deeper you go into your own mind, 798 00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:18,641 The harder it is to get back out. 799 00:41:18,643 --> 00:41:20,509 So, as soon as things start getting bad, 800 00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:23,112 You have to be able to turn to something else. 801 00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:25,415 ♪ 802 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:27,550 Found a big nail. 803 00:41:27,619 --> 00:41:30,286 Thinking about... 804 00:41:30,354 --> 00:41:33,423 Forging a knife out of it like biko did. 805 00:41:35,126 --> 00:41:37,961 That'll probably be that knife's name--biko. 806 00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:43,967 So, yeah, let me get a fire going... 807 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:46,869 Before I get so far into my head that I quit. 808 00:41:46,871 --> 00:41:52,208 ♪ 809 00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:54,376 I'm playing with fire a little bit. 810 00:41:54,446 --> 00:41:55,511 ♪ 811 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:57,814 I got a nail in there. 812 00:41:57,816 --> 00:42:00,516 It's probably hot enough now I can straighten it. 813 00:42:00,585 --> 00:42:02,852 ♪ 814 00:42:02,921 --> 00:42:04,820 And it's got a big bend in it. 815 00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:06,388 You see? 816 00:42:06,458 --> 00:42:08,223 ♪ 817 00:42:08,293 --> 00:42:11,127 The rust is falling off of it now. 818 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:18,201 ♪ 819 00:42:19,637 --> 00:42:22,705 I learned all of these skills from my stepfather. 820 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,306 ♪ 821 00:42:24,308 --> 00:42:25,908 Trying to stretch it out, 822 00:42:25,977 --> 00:42:28,177 But I want to have a little bit of a blade profile. 823 00:42:28,179 --> 00:42:31,514 So I don't want it too thin on the spine. 824 00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:33,716 ♪ 825 00:42:33,784 --> 00:42:36,619 First knife I ever had, he gave it to me, 826 00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:38,554 Told me how to sharpen them. 827 00:42:38,623 --> 00:42:40,756 Oh, yeah, that's thinning it down. 828 00:42:40,825 --> 00:42:42,424 He was always there to show me. 829 00:42:42,494 --> 00:42:44,294 It surely is. 830 00:42:44,362 --> 00:42:46,863 And even though I hated it at the time, 831 00:42:46,998 --> 00:42:49,198 If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be here. 832 00:42:49,267 --> 00:42:51,000 Need to go ahead and warm up some water 833 00:42:51,002 --> 00:42:52,035 So I can quench it, too. 834 00:42:52,103 --> 00:42:53,602 ♪ 835 00:42:53,604 --> 00:42:56,105 A fire starts with a spark. 836 00:42:56,174 --> 00:42:58,575 He was the spark that got me started. 837 00:42:58,643 --> 00:43:05,548 ♪ 838 00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,752 Any man can be a father. 839 00:43:09,821 --> 00:43:11,554 I didn't hear it crack. 840 00:43:11,623 --> 00:43:16,192 Took a lot for him to be a dad to four kids that weren't his. 841 00:43:16,194 --> 00:43:21,064 So I think I owe a thank-you to my stepfather, my dad. 842 00:43:23,634 --> 00:43:25,234 Check that out. 843 00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:33,242 That's so awesome. 844 00:43:35,146 --> 00:43:36,912 I'll put a handle on that bad boy. 845 00:43:36,914 --> 00:43:39,616 That might be my new little skinning knife. 846 00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:42,552 [clicks tongue] 847 00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:45,922 A hardened knife... 848 00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,593 In the alaskan bush. 849 00:43:53,531 --> 00:43:54,930 Or the alaskan-- 850 00:43:55,066 --> 00:43:57,767 A hardened knife in the canadian bush. 851 00:43:57,835 --> 00:43:59,635 [sniffs] might as well be alaska. 852 00:43:59,704 --> 00:44:01,971 It's cold as [bleep]. 853 00:44:01,973 --> 00:44:06,876 ♪ 854 00:44:06,944 --> 00:44:09,779 So I got a piece of wood right here. 855 00:44:09,781 --> 00:44:12,682 I'm going to whittle this thing down to size. 856 00:44:12,684 --> 00:44:13,949 ♪ 857 00:44:14,018 --> 00:44:17,086 Right now I'm just kind of roughing it out, 858 00:44:17,154 --> 00:44:19,021 Like I do everything else. 859 00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:20,923 ♪ 860 00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:24,159 As a child, it was hard times and all that stuff, 861 00:44:24,229 --> 00:44:26,662 But I was taught these skill sets. 862 00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:31,433 Even though they were basic, that's what led me to here. 863 00:44:31,503 --> 00:44:34,604 So that's one side all hollowed out. 864 00:44:34,606 --> 00:44:38,440 The knife will sit in there just like this. 865 00:44:38,510 --> 00:44:40,510 Now I got to work on the other side... 866 00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:41,711 ♪ 867 00:44:41,779 --> 00:44:43,446 Whole nother piece. 868 00:44:43,448 --> 00:44:44,780 ♪ 869 00:44:44,916 --> 00:44:46,582 And it's that type of generational knowledge 870 00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:50,553 That isn't passed down from father to son, 871 00:44:50,555 --> 00:44:52,321 Mother to daughter anymore. 872 00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:55,458 Most of what people learn comes off of video, 873 00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:58,728 And it's a lot harder to retain that knowledge. 874 00:44:58,796 --> 00:45:00,596 Teaching your children, 875 00:45:00,664 --> 00:45:02,865 Taking them outside, showing them, 876 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:05,934 That's what's going to make them remember. 877 00:45:05,937 --> 00:45:08,538 I'm going to wrap the sheath now. 878 00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:10,339 And as a child, 879 00:45:10,475 --> 00:45:14,010 You're so much more open to learn these things. 880 00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:16,145 So, if you can start at an early age, 881 00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:18,547 Then they're going to retain that knowledge a lot more 882 00:45:18,616 --> 00:45:21,817 And maybe even find a love for it, like I did. 883 00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:25,220 ♪ 884 00:45:25,290 --> 00:45:26,889 There it is, folks-- 885 00:45:26,891 --> 00:45:28,491 ♪ 886 00:45:28,493 --> 00:45:30,226 My new bush knife. 887 00:45:33,430 --> 00:45:36,031 Check that out. 888 00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:38,067 Watch this. This is the cool part. 889 00:45:43,575 --> 00:45:45,775 That's the best part right there. 890 00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:57,319 [dramatic music] 891 00:45:57,388 --> 00:46:04,160 ♪ 892 00:46:13,872 --> 00:46:16,706 - I can see my lips are all chapped again. 893 00:46:18,976 --> 00:46:20,509 [groans softly] 894 00:46:20,511 --> 00:46:24,146 I have a list of things I'd like to do today, 895 00:46:24,148 --> 00:46:26,115 But I'm not sure how I'm going to do them 896 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,083 Or when I'm going to do them. 897 00:46:28,152 --> 00:46:32,555 I just have to go with the flow 898 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:35,791 And do what takes my fancy. 899 00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:38,694 So, yeah, I'm definitely learning to slow down here. 900 00:46:38,763 --> 00:46:42,932 [chuckles] definitely learning to just take it easy... 901 00:46:44,702 --> 00:46:46,602 And just... 902 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:52,808 Take it hour by hour almost, which is amazing. 903 00:46:52,877 --> 00:46:54,777 All right. 904 00:46:54,845 --> 00:46:56,545 [grunts] 905 00:46:56,614 --> 00:46:58,748 I'm going to see if I can go fishing now. 906 00:47:00,117 --> 00:47:01,617 ♪ 907 00:47:01,619 --> 00:47:04,887 I've been hoarding my mushrooms, berries, plants, 908 00:47:04,889 --> 00:47:09,625 But I really want to bring fish in and add it to my diet. 909 00:47:09,627 --> 00:47:12,795 Those fats, those oils, and the variation 910 00:47:12,797 --> 00:47:14,997 Are something that I'm going to want to have, 911 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:17,800 And they're going to make me feel good moving forward. 912 00:47:17,869 --> 00:47:21,937 ♪ 913 00:47:21,939 --> 00:47:24,040 Nice and quiet. 914 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,262 ♪ 915 00:47:46,264 --> 00:47:48,364 It is absolutely frustrating 916 00:47:48,432 --> 00:47:51,634 That I am unable so far to catch fish. 917 00:47:51,636 --> 00:47:55,805 ♪ 918 00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,773 It's partly because of my ego, 919 00:47:57,775 --> 00:47:59,741 Because I know what I'm capable of, 920 00:47:59,811 --> 00:48:03,578 But the only thing I can do is to just keep trying. 921 00:48:03,648 --> 00:48:04,513 ♪ 922 00:48:04,582 --> 00:48:05,882 I just wish I was home. 923 00:48:05,884 --> 00:48:08,450 I'd be catching fish left, right, and center. 924 00:48:08,586 --> 00:48:10,319 It's really tough to do that, though, 925 00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:13,722 Because I put that hook in the water, 926 00:48:13,791 --> 00:48:14,990 I don't catch a fish, 927 00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:17,560 And it can affect the rest of my day. 928 00:48:19,797 --> 00:48:21,197 Try over here. 929 00:48:22,367 --> 00:48:25,201 [sighs] 930 00:48:25,269 --> 00:48:28,637 It makes me wonder what the [bleep] I'm doing here. 931 00:48:28,706 --> 00:48:35,678 ♪ 932 00:48:41,519 --> 00:48:43,385 Brian, I'm thinking of you. 933 00:48:43,454 --> 00:48:46,155 ♪ 934 00:48:46,157 --> 00:48:49,057 There are times when I feel amazing, 935 00:48:49,127 --> 00:48:51,593 Like I'm completely at one here. 936 00:48:51,662 --> 00:48:53,061 Nothing. 937 00:48:53,131 --> 00:48:54,797 ♪ 938 00:48:54,799 --> 00:48:58,668 And then there are times where I just miss my human. 939 00:48:58,802 --> 00:49:00,169 [sniffles] 940 00:49:00,237 --> 00:49:03,439 [voice breaking] this for me was never about the money-- 941 00:49:03,507 --> 00:49:07,042 Just a learning experience. 942 00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:08,911 And I'm wondering, 943 00:49:08,913 --> 00:49:11,847 How much more learning can I do? 944 00:49:11,849 --> 00:49:15,284 ♪ 945 00:49:18,355 --> 00:49:19,889 [dramatic music] 946 00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:22,758 - How much more learning can I do? 947 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,359 ♪ 948 00:49:24,429 --> 00:49:26,963 You know, I can now stand and watch a sunset. 949 00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:31,534 I can now not have to do a schedule and work by it. 950 00:49:31,536 --> 00:49:33,736 I don't miss having a list. 951 00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:35,637 ♪ 952 00:49:35,706 --> 00:49:38,407 But you can be... 953 00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:40,543 [breathes deeply] 954 00:49:40,677 --> 00:49:41,877 All of those things. 955 00:49:41,946 --> 00:49:43,512 You can be a better person. 956 00:49:43,514 --> 00:49:46,448 You can have an amazing experience here. 957 00:49:46,517 --> 00:49:48,984 But if you don't have... 958 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:50,720 ♪ 959 00:49:50,788 --> 00:49:52,754 The person-- 960 00:49:52,824 --> 00:49:55,758 I have a person who I love back home. 961 00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,761 And it's like, as much as this is amazing... 962 00:49:58,763 --> 00:50:00,763 [sniffles] 963 00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:02,130 ♪ 964 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:05,167 I don't want to spend another day away from him, 965 00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:09,271 Because I don't know how long I have left. 966 00:50:09,340 --> 00:50:11,606 So I'm tapping out. 967 00:50:11,608 --> 00:50:13,676 I'm going to tap out. 968 00:50:13,744 --> 00:50:15,778 And I want to go home to him, 969 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:19,014 And I want to spend my time with him and... 970 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,916 ♪ 971 00:50:20,984 --> 00:50:23,318 And tell him I love him 972 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,254 And not miss another day. 973 00:50:25,322 --> 00:50:27,323 I don't want to miss another day. 974 00:50:27,391 --> 00:50:28,657 No more. 975 00:50:28,726 --> 00:50:31,894 This is an amazing, incredible experience. 976 00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:33,796 [inhales deeply] 977 00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:36,198 But... 978 00:50:36,266 --> 00:50:38,667 I want to... 979 00:50:38,735 --> 00:50:43,072 I want to go home and be with my human, my brian. 980 00:50:43,140 --> 00:50:46,942 ♪ 981 00:50:46,944 --> 00:50:50,446 I had no idea that being by myself 982 00:50:50,514 --> 00:50:52,181 Would have such an effect on me. 983 00:50:52,183 --> 00:50:55,284 I had no idea that it would affect me so deeply. 984 00:50:55,352 --> 00:50:57,987 ♪ 985 00:50:58,122 --> 00:51:01,390 It was a complete surprise, but it's a good one. 986 00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:04,927 ♪ 987 00:51:04,929 --> 00:51:07,530 Hello. It's melanie sawyer here. 988 00:51:07,598 --> 00:51:11,333 ♪ 989 00:51:11,335 --> 00:51:13,835 Yeah, I'm officially tapping out. 990 00:51:13,837 --> 00:51:17,005 ♪ 991 00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:18,507 Thank you. 992 00:51:18,642 --> 00:51:19,608 ♪ 993 00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,076 Thank you. 994 00:51:21,145 --> 00:51:25,113 ♪ 995 00:51:25,183 --> 00:51:27,316 [sniffles] 996 00:51:27,318 --> 00:51:30,286 [sighs, whimpers] 997 00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:38,294 [groans] 998 00:51:42,799 --> 00:51:45,000 Time to go home. 999 00:51:45,069 --> 00:51:52,007 ♪ 1000 00:51:59,816 --> 00:52:01,217 I've been here six weeks. 1001 00:52:01,219 --> 00:52:04,686 I've had an amazing, amazing time. 1002 00:52:04,755 --> 00:52:07,422 I know that I could last for a long time, 1003 00:52:07,491 --> 00:52:09,625 But I feel empty. [sniffles] 1004 00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:12,695 And I'm not... 1005 00:52:12,697 --> 00:52:15,864 I'm not going to waste precious time 1006 00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:18,901 Doing something that doesn't make me happy anymore. 1007 00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:21,370 Sometimes when we are too busy in our minds, 1008 00:52:21,372 --> 00:52:23,238 We become ill in our bodies. 1009 00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:24,906 So I have to slow down. 1010 00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:27,443 And that's what I'm going to do. 1011 00:52:27,511 --> 00:52:30,980 And that's a good thing. 1012 00:52:30,982 --> 00:52:32,982 [sniffles] 1013 00:52:32,984 --> 00:52:38,454 ♪ 1014 00:52:38,456 --> 00:52:43,125 I'm tapping out because every day is precious. 1015 00:52:43,193 --> 00:52:46,462 I want to spend that time 1016 00:52:46,464 --> 00:52:48,263 Making memories with the people 1017 00:52:48,332 --> 00:52:50,099 Who are the most important to me. 1018 00:52:50,101 --> 00:52:51,734 ♪ 1019 00:52:51,802 --> 00:52:53,869 Compartmentalization 1020 00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:57,739 Is an incredible defense system. 1021 00:52:57,808 --> 00:53:00,743 Pain or worry-- 1022 00:53:00,745 --> 00:53:04,013 You can lock them away 1023 00:53:04,081 --> 00:53:06,415 And forget about them. 1024 00:53:06,483 --> 00:53:07,950 ♪ 1025 00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:10,352 And I would have been perfectly fine, 1026 00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:15,023 But I wouldn't have been the person I am today. 1027 00:53:15,092 --> 00:53:17,359 And that's incredibly empowering. 1028 00:53:17,361 --> 00:53:20,428 ♪ 1029 00:53:20,430 --> 00:53:25,267 I realized that I'm capable of teaching myself 1030 00:53:25,269 --> 00:53:29,838 And learning and verbalizing what it is I want, 1031 00:53:29,907 --> 00:53:32,141 Creating my own future. 1032 00:53:32,143 --> 00:53:33,108 ♪ 1033 00:53:33,110 --> 00:53:34,943 History is important, 1034 00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:39,148 But I'm also really excited to begin the rest of my life 1035 00:53:39,150 --> 00:53:42,351 And the new adventures with the new mel 1036 00:53:42,419 --> 00:53:44,320 That await me. 1037 00:53:44,322 --> 00:53:46,922 So my living history 1038 00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:49,791 Is closure of the past 1039 00:53:49,860 --> 00:53:53,429 And creation of the future. 1040 00:53:58,602 --> 00:54:05,574 ♪ 1041 00:54:16,153 --> 00:54:19,688 - Exactly 52 years ago, I was born. 1042 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,824 [chuckles] it's my birthday today. 1043 00:54:21,958 --> 00:54:24,893 Yay. Happy birthday to me. 1044 00:54:24,895 --> 00:54:29,164 The weather is gray, cold, and windy. 1045 00:54:29,232 --> 00:54:32,334 It's not a fishing day today again, which bums me out, 1046 00:54:32,403 --> 00:54:34,003 Because I really enjoy fishing, 1047 00:54:34,071 --> 00:54:37,840 And the only way to get further in this game right now 1048 00:54:37,908 --> 00:54:40,275 Is catch more fish. 1049 00:54:40,277 --> 00:54:43,078 So plan for today-- 1050 00:54:43,147 --> 00:54:46,715 Get the bear bag, make a fire, eat some fish, drink some tea, 1051 00:54:46,783 --> 00:54:48,984 And enjoy my birthday. 1052 00:54:48,986 --> 00:54:50,285 ♪ 1053 00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:52,954 My triple-layer birthday cake. 1054 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:55,590 Happy birthday to me. 1055 00:54:55,659 --> 00:54:57,459 The candle's still kind of going. 1056 00:54:57,461 --> 00:54:58,594 Make a wish. 1057 00:55:01,732 --> 00:55:03,432 Happy birthday. 1058 00:55:06,203 --> 00:55:08,304 In you go, birthday cake. 1059 00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:10,105 ♪ 1060 00:55:10,107 --> 00:55:12,607 That's a lot of fish. I'm excited. 1061 00:55:12,676 --> 00:55:15,210 Still frozen a little bit. 1062 00:55:15,212 --> 00:55:16,445 I'm treating myself. 1063 00:55:16,513 --> 00:55:18,113 I'm having an extra half a fish 1064 00:55:18,115 --> 00:55:20,148 Because I'm worried I'm not eating enough, 1065 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:22,084 'cause when I've been bending over today, 1066 00:55:22,086 --> 00:55:23,752 I'm getting, like, a head rush. 1067 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:25,353 I'm like, what? 1068 00:55:25,423 --> 00:55:28,022 I just feel really weak. 1069 00:55:28,024 --> 00:55:31,760 I worry I'm not sustaining myself with half a fish a day. 1070 00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:35,130 But the good thing is, I have a lot of fish stored. 1071 00:55:35,132 --> 00:55:37,833 Hopefully that fish will give me some energy. 1072 00:55:37,901 --> 00:55:39,201 ♪ 1073 00:55:39,269 --> 00:55:41,202 Thinking about my wife today. 1074 00:55:41,204 --> 00:55:43,839 I feel bad for her because... 1075 00:55:43,907 --> 00:55:46,408 She'll be thinking about me and feel bad for me. 1076 00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:48,343 She'll be like, oh! 1077 00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:50,011 ♪ 1078 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:52,414 But it's fine. 1079 00:55:52,416 --> 00:55:54,149 I don't want her to worry. 1080 00:55:54,218 --> 00:55:55,450 ♪ 1081 00:55:55,453 --> 00:55:58,821 It's just a birthday, and I'll remember this one. 1082 00:55:58,823 --> 00:56:01,156 A lot of your birthdays you don't remember. 1083 00:56:01,225 --> 00:56:04,460 I'll definitely remember my 52nd birthday. 1084 00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:05,694 ♪ 1085 00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:07,930 As the game wears on like it is now, 1086 00:56:07,998 --> 00:56:09,664 I can just feel that the mental game 1087 00:56:09,733 --> 00:56:11,833 Is starting to play on me a little bit. 1088 00:56:11,902 --> 00:56:13,702 [exhales deeply] 1089 00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:17,406 I miss my family dearly, and I miss my kids. 1090 00:56:17,408 --> 00:56:18,707 ♪ 1091 00:56:18,842 --> 00:56:22,311 Whoever's left is probably feeling this way. 1092 00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:25,581 But they're thinking the same thing I am. 1093 00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:27,215 You got to battle through it. 1094 00:56:27,218 --> 00:56:28,383 ♪ 1095 00:56:28,452 --> 00:56:30,819 Keep pushing, keep grinding, 1096 00:56:30,821 --> 00:56:32,855 Stay busy, stay focused, 1097 00:56:32,923 --> 00:56:34,789 Think positive thoughts. 1098 00:56:34,859 --> 00:56:38,360 You're just feeling slight uncomfortable feelings 1099 00:56:38,428 --> 00:56:42,331 Because you miss the comforts of home and your family. 1100 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:44,866 So here we go. Let's push. 1101 00:56:44,935 --> 00:56:46,535 ♪ 1102 00:56:46,603 --> 00:56:48,570 You are coming with me... 1103 00:56:48,705 --> 00:56:49,938 ♪ 1104 00:56:50,007 --> 00:56:51,874 Right onto my lid. 1105 00:56:51,876 --> 00:56:53,542 Man, that's a big piece of fish, 1106 00:56:53,677 --> 00:56:55,109 And there's three of these. 1107 00:56:55,179 --> 00:56:56,979 Heck, yeah. 1108 00:56:56,981 --> 00:56:58,947 Part of my strategy, I think, is, 1109 00:56:59,015 --> 00:57:00,916 If I can spend half the day in the shelter, 1110 00:57:00,984 --> 00:57:02,751 Then just half the day outside, 1111 00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:04,552 Days are going to go by faster, 1112 00:57:04,622 --> 00:57:06,221 And I'm preserving a lot of calories. 1113 00:57:06,223 --> 00:57:07,723 ♪ 1114 00:57:07,791 --> 00:57:08,957 Unbelievable. 1115 00:57:09,026 --> 00:57:10,659 Just to stay in the game longer 1116 00:57:10,794 --> 00:57:12,861 And allow my body to use less calories, 1117 00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:14,396 I think, is a good idea. 1118 00:57:15,732 --> 00:57:17,199 Hmm. 1119 00:57:19,269 --> 00:57:22,470 That was a big meal. 1120 00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:25,941 Feeling really full. That's good. 1121 00:57:26,076 --> 00:57:28,877 That is great, my friend. 1122 00:57:30,347 --> 00:57:32,781 But I think we should check the gill net. 1123 00:57:32,783 --> 00:57:39,054 ♪ 1124 00:57:40,924 --> 00:57:42,057 Oh, wow. 1125 00:57:42,192 --> 00:57:44,426 I might have something in my gill net. 1126 00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:46,895 I can't really tell, but... 1127 00:57:46,897 --> 00:57:49,831 It kind of looks that way. 1128 00:57:49,900 --> 00:57:51,432 Hold on a sec. 1129 00:57:51,502 --> 00:57:55,871 ♪ 1130 00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:57,773 It looks big. 1131 00:57:57,841 --> 00:57:59,708 Or it's just a tangle of my net. 1132 00:57:59,776 --> 00:58:01,410 I don't know. 1133 00:58:01,412 --> 00:58:03,645 But whatever it is... 1134 00:58:03,714 --> 00:58:05,514 I'm going to check it out. 1135 00:58:05,516 --> 00:58:06,882 ♪ 1136 00:58:06,884 --> 00:58:09,518 I just hope it's... 1137 00:58:09,586 --> 00:58:11,320 What I think it is. 1138 00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:15,724 ♪ 1139 00:58:15,726 --> 00:58:17,459 What the hell? 1140 00:58:17,461 --> 00:58:21,196 ♪ 1141 00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:26,067 [dramatic music] 1142 00:58:26,069 --> 00:58:27,736 - What the hell? 1143 00:58:27,871 --> 00:58:29,871 I might have something in my gill net. 1144 00:58:29,873 --> 00:58:30,939 ♪ 1145 00:58:31,075 --> 00:58:32,407 Whoa. 1146 00:58:32,409 --> 00:58:34,409 I got to be careful here. 1147 00:58:34,411 --> 00:58:36,411 I hope he doesn't come out. 1148 00:58:36,413 --> 00:58:38,347 ♪ 1149 00:58:38,481 --> 00:58:40,949 I might get wet, but I don't care. 1150 00:58:40,951 --> 00:58:47,923 ♪ 1151 00:58:52,830 --> 00:58:54,696 I can't believe it! 1152 00:58:54,832 --> 00:58:57,098 ♪ 1153 00:58:57,234 --> 00:58:58,900 Oh, my god. 1154 00:58:58,969 --> 00:59:00,168 ♪ 1155 00:59:00,170 --> 00:59:03,038 Look at that! I got a fish in my gill net! 1156 00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,040 ♪ 1157 00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:06,908 Wow! 1158 00:59:06,910 --> 00:59:08,277 Whoo! 1159 00:59:11,314 --> 00:59:12,714 [laughs] 1160 00:59:12,782 --> 00:59:15,383 What? 1161 00:59:15,452 --> 00:59:19,054 A fish in my gill net? 1162 00:59:19,122 --> 00:59:20,923 I can't believe it. 1163 00:59:22,393 --> 00:59:23,792 Wow. 1164 00:59:23,860 --> 00:59:26,628 Did he ever tangle it up, though. 1165 00:59:26,630 --> 00:59:28,296 ♪ 1166 00:59:28,432 --> 00:59:30,498 Can you believe that? [chuckles] 1167 00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:32,400 It worked! 1168 00:59:32,469 --> 00:59:34,336 He's huge! 1169 00:59:34,338 --> 00:59:36,872 He's got to be five, six pounds. 1170 00:59:36,874 --> 00:59:39,408 Maybe that's my biggest fish. 1171 00:59:39,410 --> 00:59:41,076 [laughs] 1172 00:59:41,144 --> 00:59:42,411 ♪ 1173 00:59:42,479 --> 00:59:44,212 [chuckles] wow. 1174 00:59:44,214 --> 00:59:45,480 I can't believe it. 1175 00:59:45,549 --> 00:59:47,816 I'm sorry, mr. Fishy. Thank you for your life. 1176 00:59:47,818 --> 00:59:48,951 ♪ 1177 00:59:49,019 --> 00:59:50,752 He's big. 1178 00:59:50,820 --> 00:59:52,354 ♪ 1179 00:59:52,356 --> 00:59:54,356 [chuckles] 1180 00:59:54,358 --> 00:59:57,092 ♪ 1181 00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,427 Look at all the meat on that thing. 1182 00:59:59,496 --> 01:00:00,829 ♪ 1183 01:00:00,964 --> 01:00:03,097 Oh, my gosh. 1184 01:00:03,167 --> 01:00:06,101 I was wondering why my gill net wasn't catching anything. 1185 01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:10,072 ♪ 1186 01:00:12,643 --> 01:00:15,310 On my birthday. [laughs] 1187 01:00:15,312 --> 01:00:18,980 Oh, I get this great big fish, whitefish. 1188 01:00:18,982 --> 01:00:21,115 Whatever it is, it's going in the pot. 1189 01:00:21,185 --> 01:00:22,918 It's going to be good. 1190 01:00:24,655 --> 01:00:25,954 Whoo! 1191 01:00:26,022 --> 01:00:29,324 Birthday gill-net fish-- I can't believe it. 1192 01:00:29,393 --> 01:00:31,159 ♪ 1193 01:00:31,228 --> 01:00:34,595 It's the biggest fish yet by far. 1194 01:00:34,665 --> 01:00:38,000 It's a beast. It's a leviathan. 1195 01:00:38,068 --> 01:00:40,135 It's moby dick. 1196 01:00:40,137 --> 01:00:43,338 The scales on that guy-- man, they're like armor. 1197 01:00:43,340 --> 01:00:45,573 Holy cow. 1198 01:00:45,576 --> 01:00:48,143 It feels good getting your own food, 1199 01:00:48,211 --> 01:00:50,745 Even though it's just fish. 1200 01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:54,683 I'd never set a gill net before, and it worked. 1201 01:00:54,751 --> 01:00:59,487 It was nice that a trap that I set actually worked. 1202 01:00:59,556 --> 01:01:01,389 It gives me hope that once I get it untangled, 1203 01:01:01,391 --> 01:01:03,191 I can maybe get another one in there. 1204 01:01:03,259 --> 01:01:04,225 ♪ 1205 01:01:04,294 --> 01:01:06,694 Beautiful, thick white meat. 1206 01:01:06,830 --> 01:01:08,697 I feel so happy right now. 1207 01:01:08,699 --> 01:01:11,767 I needed it. I needed a shot of happiness. 1208 01:01:11,769 --> 01:01:13,167 ♪ 1209 01:01:13,169 --> 01:01:14,669 What a birthday present. 1210 01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:18,106 Somebody gave me a fish in my gill net for my birthday. 1211 01:01:18,108 --> 01:01:20,842 Thank you, whoever that was. 1212 01:01:20,911 --> 01:01:25,113 Each fish is two days closer to winning this game. 1213 01:01:25,181 --> 01:01:26,715 I got food. 1214 01:01:26,783 --> 01:01:29,384 Just got to make sure my head stays in the game. 1215 01:01:29,452 --> 01:01:30,585 ♪ 1216 01:01:30,587 --> 01:01:32,520 Beautiful meat. 1217 01:01:32,589 --> 01:01:34,589 Looks beautiful. 1218 01:01:34,591 --> 01:01:36,591 [grunts] 1219 01:01:38,795 --> 01:01:40,828 We'll give those a rinse. 1220 01:01:40,830 --> 01:01:47,836 ♪ 1221 01:01:53,510 --> 01:01:55,577 [sniffs] all right. 1222 01:01:55,579 --> 01:01:58,980 So, in celebration of my birthday... 1223 01:01:58,982 --> 01:02:00,549 ♪ 1224 01:02:00,683 --> 01:02:02,416 There's a small fireworks display 1225 01:02:02,486 --> 01:02:05,954 That's going to happen right now. 1226 01:02:05,956 --> 01:02:08,824 Now, just to be clear... 1227 01:02:08,958 --> 01:02:12,828 There is also bears in the area, right? 1228 01:02:12,962 --> 01:02:15,029 And I got a lot of fish at my shelter, 1229 01:02:15,098 --> 01:02:19,167 So I don't want to take any chances, okay? 1230 01:02:19,235 --> 01:02:22,838 Fireworks display starts now. 1231 01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:29,911 ♪ 1232 01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:38,720 Happy birthday to me! 1233 01:02:38,722 --> 01:02:41,523 ♪ 1234 01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:42,857 Whoo! 1235 01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:44,893 Happy birthday! 1236 01:02:44,961 --> 01:02:48,263 ♪ 1237 01:02:49,533 --> 01:02:50,999 ♪ 1238 01:02:51,001 --> 01:02:52,633 - Something got in my shelter today, 1239 01:02:52,703 --> 01:02:55,871 And all of my [bleep] rats have been taken. 1240 01:02:55,873 --> 01:02:58,540 I can't even leave my shelter for fear of getting robbed. 1241 01:02:58,608 --> 01:02:59,541 ♪ 1242 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,209 - Oh, my god. 1243 01:03:01,211 --> 01:03:03,811 He's got these white growths all over his guts, 1244 01:03:03,814 --> 01:03:06,147 And his whole liver was covered in it, too. 1245 01:03:06,216 --> 01:03:07,816 I can't lose this fish. 1246 01:03:07,818 --> 01:03:10,151 I'm just hoping I don't get sick from it. 1247 01:03:10,220 --> 01:03:11,419 - Holy [bleep]. 1248 01:03:11,421 --> 01:03:13,822 Got a bit of a fire going on right there. 1249 01:03:13,824 --> 01:03:16,090 Oh, man. [bleep]. 1250 01:03:16,092 --> 01:03:20,362 ♪