1
00:00:05,517 --> 00:00:07,412
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:09,172
[Andrew]
I just got fully turned around.
3
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,171
♪ ♪
4
00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:12,654
How is that even possible?
5
00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:15,205
It's getting tougher.
The weather's getting tougher.
6
00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:16,241
Oh, [bleep].
7
00:00:16,344 --> 00:00:17,861
It's a massive challenge
8
00:00:17,862 --> 00:00:21,481
to keep myself mentally
and physically healthy.
9
00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:22,896
What the [bleep]?
10
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,067
- We got another bunny.
11
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,103
Oh, got another one.
[chuckles]
12
00:00:27,206 --> 00:00:28,895
Here's another bunny.
13
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,861
This is going to be a wild day.
14
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:33,723
Brings us to 51 bunnies.
15
00:00:33,724 --> 00:00:36,965
Can't see me
losing this game.
16
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:41,171
- There's a little bit
of smoke buildup in my shelter.
17
00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:45,964
But the worst is not the smoke.
It's actually the steam.
18
00:00:45,965 --> 00:00:49,654
And as the temperature drops,
the steam is getting worse.
19
00:00:49,655 --> 00:00:51,757
There's just no way I'm going
to be able to [bleep] last
20
00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:54,033
with this [bleep] shelter.
21
00:00:54,034 --> 00:00:56,172
[Ziga]
Oh, [bleep].
22
00:01:00,379 --> 00:01:03,723
If this chimney would crack
or collapse,
23
00:01:03,724 --> 00:01:06,517
I would really have
serious problem.
24
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:09,723
Chimney, [bleep] you.
25
00:01:09,724 --> 00:01:12,343
♪ ♪
26
00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:14,206
- Oh, my.
27
00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:16,655
I've been so grateful
for the food
28
00:01:16,758 --> 00:01:19,757
that I've already got
these past 50 days.
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00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:20,655
♪ ♪
30
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Let's go!
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00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:30,586
♪ ♪
32
00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:50,724
♪
33
00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:02,895
[Jacks] This morning, we're
going to check our trap lines.
34
00:02:02,896 --> 00:02:04,654
♪ You gotta believe,
you gotta believe ♪
35
00:02:04,655 --> 00:02:06,136
♪ You gotta believe ♪
36
00:02:06,137 --> 00:02:09,172
♪ You gotta believe there's
a fish in your trout line ♪
37
00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:12,379
♪ You gotta believe
there's a hare in your snare ♪
38
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:15,586
♪ You gotta believe there's a
squirrel hanging from a pole ♪
39
00:02:15,689 --> 00:02:18,586
♪ And a moose is
taken with your bow ♪
40
00:02:18,689 --> 00:02:20,206
Come on, everybody.
41
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,034
♪ You gotta believe, you gotta
believe, you gotta believe ♪
42
00:02:22,137 --> 00:02:25,378
♪ You gotta believe your hair
isn't just one knot ♪
43
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,689
♪ You gotta believe
your bad guts will go away ♪
44
00:02:28,793 --> 00:02:32,033
♪ You gotta believe
you won't be alone forever ♪
45
00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:34,723
♪ You gotta believe you can
make it one more night ♪
46
00:02:34,724 --> 00:02:39,240
♪ You gotta believe
you can lean into the fight ♪
47
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:41,723
♪ One more day alone
is enough ♪
48
00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:45,310
[gasps]
Oh!
49
00:02:45,413 --> 00:02:47,067
We got a hare.
50
00:02:47,068 --> 00:02:49,758
We're back, baby.
We're back.
51
00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:51,481
♪ ♪
52
00:02:51,482 --> 00:02:52,930
Hold on.
53
00:02:52,931 --> 00:02:54,413
I'm going to keep you there
because you're literally,
54
00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,723
I don't know,
right next to my camp.
55
00:02:56,724 --> 00:03:00,136
Hare, camp.
Hare, camp.
56
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:03,793
We're going to go check
the other traps.
57
00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:07,516
♪
58
00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:10,551
Oh, wow. OK, well,
that was a nice little treat.
59
00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:12,930
And the thing that I keep
thinking about the most
60
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:16,516
these past couple weeks
are how I feel like
61
00:03:16,517 --> 00:03:18,516
I have changed out here.
62
00:03:18,517 --> 00:03:21,412
Like, I almost don't
even recognize myself.
63
00:03:21,413 --> 00:03:25,378
I walk through life normally
with my chin up
64
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:28,964
and my shoulders back
with this identity
65
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:33,757
of being strong and secure
and confident.
66
00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:36,068
And out here,
67
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:41,310
I just feel like I've been
vulnerable and teary-eyed.
68
00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:44,068
And I wouldn't say weak,
69
00:03:44,172 --> 00:03:47,861
I'm just leaning
a very different presence.
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00:03:47,862 --> 00:03:49,274
♪ ♪
71
00:03:49,275 --> 00:03:51,067
Shut the [bleep] up.
72
00:03:51,068 --> 00:03:52,654
Oof, sorry.
Excuse my French.
73
00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,274
I got another hare.
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♪ ♪
75
00:03:58,344 --> 00:04:01,447
Wow, two hares today.
76
00:04:01,448 --> 00:04:03,724
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
77
00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:08,274
Oh, my God.
78
00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:10,862
Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
79
00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:13,068
Wow, OK.
80
00:04:13,172 --> 00:04:14,896
This is amazing.
81
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,067
I always have
leaned into emotions.
82
00:04:17,068 --> 00:04:18,724
♪
83
00:04:18,827 --> 00:04:21,309
You know, I do believe
to feel is to exist.
84
00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:25,102
I'd rather feel truly, madly,
deeply than to not at all.
85
00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:27,793
I want to go through the pain,
I want to be sad,
86
00:04:27,896 --> 00:04:31,757
because on the other side
of that is love and happiness.
87
00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:34,136
I can't believe that.
Oh, thank God.
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00:04:34,137 --> 00:04:35,586
We have food.
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♪ ♪
90
00:04:37,137 --> 00:04:39,378
You have to go through
ebbs and flows.
91
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:43,241
And I know that everything
is a journey out here.
92
00:04:43,344 --> 00:04:45,620
But my identity, like
who I feel at my core,
93
00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:47,896
feels very different.
94
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,619
You know,
very convenient bag.
95
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,067
♪
96
00:04:54,068 --> 00:04:58,861
[sighs and sniffs]
Keep getting a whiff of fire.
97
00:04:58,862 --> 00:05:04,550
I mean, in fairness,
it's probably me.
98
00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,103
[chuckles]
99
00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:16,689
But anyway, we're going to eat
some rabbit, so let's do that.
100
00:05:16,793 --> 00:05:19,895
It's really interesting
to see who you become
101
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:22,344
without having
to put on a mask,
102
00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:25,517
without having
to be around people.
103
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:28,586
You become who you are,
the essence of your core.
104
00:05:28,689 --> 00:05:31,102
And it's like, are you
becoming a new person
105
00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:32,309
or are you saying hello
106
00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:34,931
to the person you've been
this whole time?
107
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:39,930
- Oh, see, this is
what I'm talking about.
108
00:05:39,931 --> 00:05:43,378
Everything I do
causes blindness.
109
00:05:43,379 --> 00:05:45,793
[fire crackling]
110
00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:48,585
[sighs]
Even eating.
111
00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:51,585
♪ ♪
112
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[breathes deeply]
113
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♪ ♪
114
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[sniffles and groans]
115
00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:06,826
♪
116
00:06:06,827 --> 00:06:10,343
God, I feel like this steam
is worse than the smoke.
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00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:14,826
♪ ♪
118
00:06:14,827 --> 00:06:16,241
It is getting
pretty warm in here.
119
00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:17,999
I'll tell you that, though.
120
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,896
♪ ♪
121
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,240
[sighs] Smoke, though,
we gotta figure it out.
122
00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:25,516
♪ ♪
123
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,033
I am having some regrets
124
00:06:27,034 --> 00:06:29,481
about having a central fire
in my shelter.
125
00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:32,724
The steam was not something
that I predicted.
126
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:36,999
And what's happening is,
because the roof is so low,
127
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,965
the steam is becoming
a cloud cover for the smoke.
128
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,171
And the smoke
is not able to exit
129
00:06:44,172 --> 00:06:45,757
in the way
that I had planned.
130
00:06:45,758 --> 00:06:48,000
♪
131
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I can't even eat this
'cause of the [bleep] steam!
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00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,171
Ugh!
133
00:06:53,172 --> 00:06:55,447
♪
134
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:58,654
It's getting in my [bleep] eyes
and my eyes are burning.
135
00:06:58,655 --> 00:07:03,310
♪ ♪
136
00:07:03,413 --> 00:07:04,724
Ow.
137
00:07:04,827 --> 00:07:11,793
♪ ♪
138
00:07:13,551 --> 00:07:15,172
This is so much steam.
139
00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:16,206
♪ ♪
140
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,964
I can't see.
141
00:07:17,965 --> 00:07:22,240
♪
142
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:23,999
Wow.
143
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,412
I gotta figure out
a solution to this fire.
144
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:30,412
[dramatic music]
145
00:07:30,413 --> 00:07:37,448
♪ ♪
146
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:39,757
[Aaron]
It's cold, man.
147
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:40,861
And I don't know
how cold it is,
148
00:07:40,862 --> 00:07:42,171
but...
149
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:44,102
[birds singing]
150
00:07:44,103 --> 00:07:46,689
These bunnies are frozen.
151
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,999
Can't even peel
her [bleep] legs.
152
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,550
That guy's legs
just snapped off.
153
00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:54,586
♪
154
00:07:54,689 --> 00:07:56,378
Weather's gotten chilly.
155
00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:59,171
Some mornings I'm like,
oh, it feels like minus 10,
156
00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:00,792
but then it's like
157
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:02,757
I'm getting frost
on my beard really quick.
158
00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:06,103
I'm like, this isn't normal
for minus 5 to 10,
159
00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:08,551
so maybe it's 10 to 20.
160
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,724
Holy [bleep].
161
00:08:10,827 --> 00:08:12,310
♪ ♪
162
00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:20,343
But my hands and my toes
can bug me.
163
00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:22,000
My hands are really bad.
164
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:25,827
♪ ♪
165
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:28,689
Not fun doing
these guys frozen.
166
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:31,241
But if I have a fire, I can
do whatever I need to do.
167
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,241
And then I just go to
the fire and warm up.
168
00:08:34,344 --> 00:08:35,896
That's three bunnies.
169
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,172
♪ ♪
170
00:08:42,241 --> 00:08:44,103
As long as I have fire,
I'm fine.
171
00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,274
And I'll get this guy cooked.
172
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,757
♪ ♪
173
00:08:48,758 --> 00:08:52,343
Hopefully it lights,
'cause I'm frozen.
174
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:55,551
[ferro rod scraping]
175
00:08:55,655 --> 00:08:58,379
♪ ♪
176
00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,826
Put the ferro rod away.
177
00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:09,931
♪
178
00:09:10,034 --> 00:09:12,930
I haven't had a fire
in the shelter yet.
179
00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:15,586
We're not burning
our sleeping bag.
180
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,758
We're not getting
smoke asphyxiation.
181
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:22,172
We just gotta play
the smart game.
182
00:09:22,275 --> 00:09:28,206
♪ ♪
183
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:32,103
Getting to the point wherever
only the strong will be here.
184
00:09:33,517 --> 00:09:35,344
It's getting chilly.
185
00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:40,792
[squirrel chittering]
186
00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:45,103
♪ ♪
187
00:09:45,206 --> 00:09:48,688
I think we ought to try to
get him because it's fish bait.
188
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,274
♪
189
00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:53,310
I don't need to eat him, but
I know the fish like squirrel.
190
00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:56,309
I'm definitely desperate
to get something fatty.
191
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:59,102
Can't just be eating rabbits.
192
00:09:59,103 --> 00:10:06,103
♪ ♪
193
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:20,724
[thud]
[bleep].
194
00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:28,654
♪
195
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:29,689
[thud]
196
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,481
[bleep].
197
00:10:31,482 --> 00:10:33,482
Oh, my God.
198
00:10:33,586 --> 00:10:34,620
♪ ♪
199
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:40,930
[snow crunching]
200
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,550
♪
201
00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:44,586
He's sure--
holy [bleep].
202
00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:45,999
♪ ♪
203
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,206
Oh, no.
204
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:51,000
[wind howling]
205
00:10:55,103 --> 00:10:56,862
[tense music]
206
00:10:56,965 --> 00:11:02,136
- Oh, [bleep].
Oh, no.
207
00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:06,964
♪ ♪
208
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,723
[bleep].
209
00:11:08,724 --> 00:11:11,171
♪
210
00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:13,930
That is not good.
211
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:15,136
♪
212
00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:17,757
These are the mistakes
you don't make, guys.
213
00:11:17,758 --> 00:11:19,000
And I'm making 'em.
214
00:11:19,103 --> 00:11:21,378
♪ ♪
215
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:24,585
I cannot believe
I just did that.
216
00:11:24,586 --> 00:11:29,619
♪ ♪
217
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:33,412
What a dumb [bleep] idiot.
218
00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:38,688
♪ ♪
219
00:11:38,689 --> 00:11:43,448
Guess this will just
be my fire-tending glove.
220
00:11:45,758 --> 00:11:46,964
Got the other gloves.
221
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:48,688
I just got to be
super smart with them
222
00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:50,999
'cause they're rubber.
223
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,136
[soft suspenseful music]
224
00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:57,861
This could be over in two days
or a month and a half.
225
00:11:57,862 --> 00:12:01,033
We don't know,
so we gotta play smart.
226
00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:02,930
No hovering over the fire.
227
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,895
No doing stupid sh--
stuff like that.
228
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:09,688
Putting on winter bibs,
keeping the winter jacket on.
229
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:11,344
I don't need to get sick.
230
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:14,930
♪ ♪
231
00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:17,965
[sighs]
[bleep].
232
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:19,378
♪ ♪
233
00:12:19,379 --> 00:12:21,550
Seems as I get deeper
into this competition
234
00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:24,205
and the weather
gets colder and nastier,
235
00:12:24,206 --> 00:12:28,999
my mental and
emotional stability
236
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,895
has been going up and down.
237
00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:33,862
I'm having more frequently
bad days.
238
00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:35,240
♪ ♪
239
00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:38,275
I think I might have
a fire tonight.
240
00:12:38,379 --> 00:12:40,826
♪ ♪
241
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,343
Doing like
the next hour just so
242
00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:45,103
if it doesn't work out
that good,
243
00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:48,517
we can open the door,
244
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,481
fix what we have to.
245
00:12:50,482 --> 00:12:51,586
♪ ♪
246
00:12:51,689 --> 00:12:53,344
I don't want
to build a fire inside
247
00:12:53,448 --> 00:12:57,206
because I don't want the
possibility of sheltered fire.
248
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,793
But I'm coming to
the realization
249
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,862
the weather is garbage.
250
00:13:01,965 --> 00:13:04,654
My hands are freezing.
My feet are cold.
251
00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:07,274
This is the only thing
I can do.
252
00:13:07,275 --> 00:13:10,136
♪ ♪
253
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,895
Just a little fire
to take the chill away.
254
00:13:12,896 --> 00:13:13,895
♪
255
00:13:13,896 --> 00:13:16,516
Trying to be happy, positive.
256
00:13:16,517 --> 00:13:20,171
And we need to turn
a bad situation into a win.
257
00:13:20,172 --> 00:13:23,172
[wind howling]
258
00:13:25,379 --> 00:13:27,343
What's going on, guys?
259
00:13:27,344 --> 00:13:29,826
Um, got the fireplace working.
260
00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:31,964
There's a little bit
of precipitation
261
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,585
that I don't like in here.
262
00:13:33,586 --> 00:13:37,481
You can see my breath and stuff
'cause of the cold air higher.
263
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:39,585
Lower air is hot.
264
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,619
♪
265
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,447
But it's working.
266
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,275
So it's just
a waiting game now
267
00:13:45,379 --> 00:13:48,654
until Melissa comes
and gets me.
268
00:13:48,655 --> 00:13:51,343
This moisture is insane, though.
269
00:13:51,344 --> 00:13:53,516
I don't like that.
270
00:13:53,517 --> 00:13:55,343
A lot of it is the mud.
271
00:13:55,344 --> 00:13:59,171
So once that dries out,
man, I'm telling you,
272
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,793
I think I got it.
273
00:14:00,896 --> 00:14:03,448
♪ ♪
274
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,378
I just have to clean the camera
every 30 seconds.
275
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,033
♪ ♪
276
00:14:08,034 --> 00:14:11,689
There's like a film
on my sleeping bag, even.
277
00:14:11,793 --> 00:14:14,619
But, yeah, it's too hard
to film right now.
278
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,103
Have a good night.
279
00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:19,103
[dramatic music]
280
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:26,206
♪ ♪
281
00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:42,655
[Ziga] Things are getting
very difficult now
282
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:44,481
with this chimney.
Oh, man.
283
00:14:44,482 --> 00:14:46,275
And if you look down the base,
284
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:49,205
it's not completely dry
at some part.
285
00:14:49,206 --> 00:14:51,103
So where I want to put clay?
286
00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:53,619
So one, it's here.
287
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,102
Then it's--
288
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,481
yeah, I realized, I mean, here
is where I burned my gloves.
289
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:01,827
Another place where
I want to put more clay,
290
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:05,964
see, this part dried faster
than this part.
291
00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:08,033
And here is one huge crack.
292
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,481
And I want to make this thicker
293
00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:15,688
just to avoid any breaking
I'm getting there.
294
00:15:15,689 --> 00:15:18,654
So I mean, I think that
when I have these doors
295
00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:20,724
and extra insulation,
I will be fine.
296
00:15:20,827 --> 00:15:25,137
But for now with this moisture,
I have to keep the fire going
297
00:15:25,241 --> 00:15:27,516
at least for
a couple of days now.
298
00:15:27,517 --> 00:15:32,102
♪ ♪
299
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:33,758
First thing
I really need to do
300
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:38,550
is doors and insulation
are needed.
301
00:15:38,551 --> 00:15:41,792
Then clay work these
final small cracks
302
00:15:41,793 --> 00:15:45,826
that no smoke gets out
and stuff like that.
303
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:49,585
OK, I think
it's time for doors.
304
00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:51,792
♪
305
00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:53,033
Hey, birdy.
306
00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,826
♪
307
00:15:55,827 --> 00:15:59,724
I feel that
I'm in quite good position
308
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:03,757
even for winning
this competition.
309
00:16:03,758 --> 00:16:04,930
Quite cool.
310
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,757
♪ ♪
311
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,136
If I want to keep on going,
312
00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:12,550
I have to eat a lot,
and very caloric food.
313
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:13,862
♪
314
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:18,033
And also a lot of projects
because each day,
315
00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:21,482
the time of sunlight is
getting shorter and shorter,
316
00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:24,033
and it will disappear
at some point.
317
00:16:24,034 --> 00:16:25,103
♪
318
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:29,309
Well, I think
that's good enough.
319
00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:31,274
Especially towards the end,
320
00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:35,895
it might become more
mental game than hunger game.
321
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:40,309
I will now try
to fill as much
322
00:16:40,310 --> 00:16:44,136
of these doors with moss
323
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,379
as much as possible.
324
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:48,827
So this is why
it's very important
325
00:16:48,931 --> 00:16:52,792
to keep your mind occupied
with projects.
326
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:56,792
Man, this shelter
is becoming so cozy.
327
00:16:56,793 --> 00:16:58,412
It's also fun to do them.
328
00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:02,067
And there are many
never-ending projects
329
00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:03,102
like shelter.
330
00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,724
♪
331
00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:07,930
The doors are filled with moss.
332
00:17:07,931 --> 00:17:08,931
♪
333
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:12,793
Let's check it out.
Check it out.
334
00:17:12,896 --> 00:17:16,033
So that's it.
Doors are done.
335
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:20,378
OK, chimney.
I have to fill this with clay.
336
00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:22,205
Holy crap.
337
00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:25,654
♪
338
00:17:25,655 --> 00:17:28,861
Holy, holy, holy, holy crap.
339
00:17:28,862 --> 00:17:32,000
♪ ♪
340
00:17:48,517 --> 00:17:55,551
♪
341
00:18:01,068 --> 00:18:06,137
OK, very quick,
fixing with clay.
342
00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:08,861
♪ ♪
343
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:12,000
[gasps]
No.
344
00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:17,792
[dramatic music]
345
00:18:17,793 --> 00:18:19,136
[Ziga]
Damn it.
346
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:26,137
♪ ♪
347
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:29,206
OK. [bleep].
[bleep], [bleep].
348
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:32,654
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep].
349
00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:33,999
♪ ♪
350
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,448
OK.
That's very bad now.
351
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,102
♪ ♪
352
00:18:39,103 --> 00:18:41,861
What I was afraid
actually happened.
353
00:18:41,862 --> 00:18:45,723
♪
354
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,689
Yeah, I shouldn't
have done it this way.
355
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,171
I knew from the beginning,
but--
356
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,343
OK.
357
00:18:52,344 --> 00:18:54,516
♪ ♪
358
00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:57,758
Time to think what to do.
[sighs]
359
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,551
[sighs]
360
00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:06,517
So one option would be--
361
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:10,240
and probably the best one,
to cut this straight
362
00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:14,067
and cut this straight
and put one on each other.
363
00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:18,378
So then I can
just join them together.
364
00:19:18,379 --> 00:19:20,516
And it would
give stability
365
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:23,310
just by standing
one on each other.
366
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:28,551
OK, [bleep].
That's not a good day.
367
00:19:28,655 --> 00:19:30,136
[tense music]
368
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:32,206
I definitely feel overwhelmed.
369
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:35,205
I have to find a solution
quite quick.
370
00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:37,619
First, I'm going
to cut the chimney
371
00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:41,000
so the lower part doesn't have
a slope, but it's straight.
372
00:19:45,413 --> 00:19:46,861
OK.
373
00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:47,896
♪
374
00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:01,930
I never thought
about chimney might break
375
00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:03,102
or stuff like that.
376
00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:05,379
But now I really
have to be prepared.
377
00:20:05,482 --> 00:20:07,171
♪ ♪
378
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,792
OK, now it's horizontal,
379
00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:12,964
but I'm really afraid that
I will break more than needed.
380
00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:16,412
♪
381
00:20:16,413 --> 00:20:20,826
So in the morning,
I had fire and chimney.
382
00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:23,792
Now I don't have fire
nor chimney.
383
00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:26,861
♪ ♪
384
00:20:26,862 --> 00:20:30,068
OK.
385
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:32,343
Here is the plan.
386
00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:35,861
I will cut also this one
approximately straight.
387
00:20:35,862 --> 00:20:40,724
♪
388
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:06,481
Ah, [bleep].
389
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,103
♪ ♪
390
00:21:10,517 --> 00:21:13,343
And I don't have fire.
391
00:21:13,344 --> 00:21:16,793
So it's a--
392
00:21:16,896 --> 00:21:19,240
it is a challenging day.
393
00:21:19,241 --> 00:21:22,585
That's going to be
the final hole.
394
00:21:22,586 --> 00:21:26,827
I just can't get out of
this loop of chimney repairing.
395
00:21:26,931 --> 00:21:29,999
Seems like
a never-ending story.
396
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,033
[groans]
Yeah, damn it.
397
00:21:33,034 --> 00:21:40,034
♪ ♪
398
00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:57,000
[Andrew]
Check this out.
399
00:21:59,103 --> 00:22:01,240
Solid ice.
400
00:22:01,241 --> 00:22:02,689
Last night was super cold,
401
00:22:02,793 --> 00:22:05,861
as cold as we've had
by a long way.
402
00:22:05,862 --> 00:22:07,724
So this is going to
need thawing out.
403
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:08,930
♪ ♪
404
00:22:08,931 --> 00:22:11,102
It's really starting
to get cold now.
405
00:22:11,103 --> 00:22:13,516
In the night,
I can hear strange sounds
406
00:22:13,517 --> 00:22:15,102
as the ice forms on the river.
407
00:22:15,103 --> 00:22:17,757
It's like a creaking sound.
It's quite eerie.
408
00:22:17,758 --> 00:22:18,793
♪
409
00:22:18,896 --> 00:22:20,620
First of all,
let's check the snares,
410
00:22:20,724 --> 00:22:22,619
see if there's
anything in those.
411
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:25,585
So I'm heading into
a difficult period where
412
00:22:25,586 --> 00:22:27,448
I'm probably days away
from being able
413
00:22:27,551 --> 00:22:29,827
to walk on the ice
and ice fish,
414
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:33,275
so I'm likely to have to rely
on whatever I can get on land,
415
00:22:33,379 --> 00:22:36,896
so that's most likely
things like varying hare.
416
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,689
I don't want to spend
too much time out today
417
00:22:38,793 --> 00:22:40,723
if I can avoid it.
418
00:22:40,724 --> 00:22:43,723
This is a whole different
world from what I'm used to.
419
00:22:43,724 --> 00:22:47,723
I'm seriously going
to need to keep myself
420
00:22:47,724 --> 00:22:50,550
wrapped up as much as I can.
421
00:22:50,551 --> 00:22:52,172
Wales is
a very temperate climate.
422
00:22:52,275 --> 00:22:55,964
It very rarely gets below zero
and we hardly ever get snow.
423
00:22:55,965 --> 00:22:57,550
I've traveled.
424
00:22:57,551 --> 00:22:59,619
I've spent a lot of time
in Sweden, Norway, and Canada,
425
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:02,067
but I've never been
this far north.
426
00:23:02,068 --> 00:23:04,448
It's surreal, really.
427
00:23:05,655 --> 00:23:08,655
There's not much new sign.
428
00:23:08,758 --> 00:23:11,896
Looks pretty quiet.
429
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,689
Oh, no.
430
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,067
I spoke too soon.
431
00:23:16,068 --> 00:23:17,481
Got a varying hare.
432
00:23:17,482 --> 00:23:18,688
Wow, wow, wow.
433
00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:19,999
♪
434
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,931
I would love to have
more things to eat,
435
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:23,309
but the hares keep coming
436
00:23:23,310 --> 00:23:25,000
and I'm going to keep
eating the hares.
437
00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:28,343
And I'm very grateful
for them.
438
00:23:28,344 --> 00:23:29,930
And I've just
spotted something.
439
00:23:29,931 --> 00:23:32,585
I've got another hare
caught in a trap.
440
00:23:32,586 --> 00:23:35,620
♪
441
00:23:41,379 --> 00:23:44,103
[soft crack]
OK.
442
00:23:44,206 --> 00:23:49,033
Believe me, I take absolutely
no pleasure from that.
443
00:23:49,034 --> 00:23:51,516
I've got another hare.
444
00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:54,689
Amazing.
Absolutely amazing.
445
00:23:54,793 --> 00:23:59,551
♪ ♪
446
00:23:59,655 --> 00:24:01,964
Wow.
What a morning.
447
00:24:01,965 --> 00:24:03,586
One hare.
448
00:24:03,689 --> 00:24:05,412
Two hares.
Boom.
449
00:24:05,413 --> 00:24:10,689
We can keep doing this until--
well, until the hares run out.
450
00:24:10,793 --> 00:24:14,654
And I'm very acutely aware
of rabbit starvation.
451
00:24:14,655 --> 00:24:17,309
But since it's
the only food I have,
452
00:24:17,310 --> 00:24:20,103
I'm just having
to do what I can,
453
00:24:20,206 --> 00:24:22,895
which means eating the brains,
which are fatty,
454
00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:24,965
kidneys and liver,
and hoping that
455
00:24:25,068 --> 00:24:27,723
I'm getting enough nutrients
to compensate for the fact
456
00:24:27,724 --> 00:24:30,757
that I'm eating a lot
of very, very lean meat.
457
00:24:30,758 --> 00:24:32,136
Whoa.
Right.
458
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:33,964
I need to get this fire going
and keep it going.
459
00:24:33,965 --> 00:24:35,378
♪
460
00:24:35,379 --> 00:24:37,448
So I'm going to have some offal
461
00:24:37,551 --> 00:24:40,792
and a little bit
of the meat today.
462
00:24:40,793 --> 00:24:45,379
And then tomorrow,
I'll have another half of one.
463
00:24:46,448 --> 00:24:50,033
And that's going good.
Oh.
464
00:24:50,034 --> 00:24:53,033
Ah, [bleep], [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep].
465
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,447
[groans]
[bleep].
466
00:24:55,448 --> 00:24:58,481
Ah, [bleep] cramp.
467
00:24:58,482 --> 00:24:59,654
Oh, [bleep].
468
00:24:59,655 --> 00:25:01,172
♪
469
00:25:01,275 --> 00:25:02,378
Oh, man.
470
00:25:02,379 --> 00:25:03,619
♪ ♪
471
00:25:03,620 --> 00:25:05,171
[inhales through teeth]
Oh, man.
472
00:25:05,172 --> 00:25:06,550
I keep getting it now.
473
00:25:06,551 --> 00:25:11,205
It's a--a symptom of--
474
00:25:11,206 --> 00:25:13,792
[inhales through teeth]
Salt deprivation, I think.
475
00:25:13,793 --> 00:25:14,999
[groans]
476
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,240
♪
477
00:25:17,241 --> 00:25:20,482
Oh, [bleep].
478
00:25:20,586 --> 00:25:24,033
Oh, man.
Oh.
479
00:25:24,034 --> 00:25:28,102
I keep getting it
in my feet and my legs.
480
00:25:28,103 --> 00:25:30,309
I can stretch it out.
481
00:25:30,310 --> 00:25:34,723
If I stay in one position
for more than a few minutes,
482
00:25:34,724 --> 00:25:35,723
it kicks in.
483
00:25:35,724 --> 00:25:37,309
♪
484
00:25:37,310 --> 00:25:38,309
[groans softly]
485
00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:39,619
♪ ♪
486
00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:41,793
Really hoping to keep
the cramp at bay tonight,
487
00:25:41,896 --> 00:25:44,585
so I'm going to do
my stretches now.
488
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:45,792
It's definitely something
489
00:25:45,793 --> 00:25:48,033
that seems to be happening
more now.
490
00:25:48,034 --> 00:25:52,619
And I'm pretty sure that's
down to a isotonic imbalance.
491
00:25:52,620 --> 00:25:54,241
So if these cramps
keep getting worse,
492
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:57,688
that's going to be
another headache.
493
00:25:57,689 --> 00:25:59,688
Oh, right.
494
00:25:59,689 --> 00:26:03,171
Oh, man.
Feel a bit better for that.
495
00:26:03,172 --> 00:26:06,343
Hopefully, that'll stop
the cramp kicking in tonight.
496
00:26:06,344 --> 00:26:07,758
♪
497
00:26:07,862 --> 00:26:10,379
Oh, all right.
OK.
498
00:26:10,482 --> 00:26:15,171
I'm just taking each day
as it comes at the moment.
499
00:26:15,172 --> 00:26:16,585
It does worry me that
500
00:26:16,586 --> 00:26:19,447
my body's not performing
the way I want it to.
501
00:26:19,448 --> 00:26:22,896
So I'm just going
to take it easy today,
502
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,516
try and eat something,
keeping myself hydrated.
503
00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:27,482
So I've got my spruce tea,
504
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:31,067
so that's always a good step
in the right direction.
505
00:26:31,068 --> 00:26:34,654
And I'm going to be eating
those brains,
506
00:26:34,655 --> 00:26:37,757
eyeballs, you name it.
507
00:26:37,758 --> 00:26:40,343
The kidneys,
they are the only thing that
508
00:26:40,344 --> 00:26:43,964
has any kind of salty flavor.
509
00:26:43,965 --> 00:26:46,205
And I don't know if they do
contain much salt,
510
00:26:46,206 --> 00:26:47,793
but they definitely
taste like they do.
511
00:26:47,896 --> 00:26:51,999
So they're, uh, they're
definitely worth seeking out.
512
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,585
So hopefully, I'll--
I won't get any cramp tonight.
513
00:26:56,586 --> 00:26:58,067
We shall see.
514
00:26:58,068 --> 00:27:05,137
♪ ♪
515
00:27:12,517 --> 00:27:15,516
[tense music]
516
00:27:15,517 --> 00:27:22,551
♪ ♪
517
00:27:25,620 --> 00:27:28,862
- Holy, I just, uh,
518
00:27:28,965 --> 00:27:31,274
went to go take a pee,
and then my stomach is like--
519
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:33,447
[imitates gurgling]
I don't know.
520
00:27:33,448 --> 00:27:35,688
Maybe the bunny
I ate yesterday was
521
00:27:35,689 --> 00:27:37,896
a little bit raw or something
or I don't know,
522
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,447
my stomach didn't agree
with it.
523
00:27:39,448 --> 00:27:41,274
But holy,
524
00:27:41,275 --> 00:27:42,689
it's one of those
get your pants off
525
00:27:42,793 --> 00:27:45,482
as fast as you can moments.
526
00:27:50,896 --> 00:27:54,205
Feet feel like they're
going to freeze off.
527
00:27:54,206 --> 00:27:57,033
It's that damn fire.
528
00:27:57,034 --> 00:28:02,448
Last night, I had a fire, and
things didn't go very good.
529
00:28:02,551 --> 00:28:07,482
Zero, zero, and zero.
530
00:28:07,586 --> 00:28:10,136
That's not a good start.
531
00:28:10,137 --> 00:28:13,137
I don't like the design
of my shelter.
532
00:28:13,241 --> 00:28:14,758
It's not keeping warm.
533
00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:17,930
I've kind of made
a couple critical errors.
534
00:28:17,931 --> 00:28:20,378
Man, I don't know what to do.
535
00:28:20,379 --> 00:28:23,550
When I built the chimney, I
obviously built it too small.
536
00:28:23,551 --> 00:28:25,343
I made it about 8 inches.
537
00:28:25,344 --> 00:28:26,793
And then when
I put the mud in,
538
00:28:26,896 --> 00:28:29,793
it obviously choked it
too much.
539
00:28:29,896 --> 00:28:31,034
♪ ♪
540
00:28:31,137 --> 00:28:32,481
Get rid of it.
541
00:28:32,482 --> 00:28:33,895
[suspenseful music]
542
00:28:33,896 --> 00:28:37,689
So I needed to make
the chimney, say, 12 inches,
543
00:28:37,793 --> 00:28:39,724
which would have gave me
an 8-inch hole,
544
00:28:39,827 --> 00:28:43,275
which would have ventilated
the fire with the smoke.
545
00:28:43,379 --> 00:28:45,344
There's a hole in the side.
546
00:28:45,448 --> 00:28:49,103
I'm going to have to
do some patch work.
547
00:28:49,206 --> 00:28:52,723
I think I'll sleep
with my boot liners
548
00:28:52,724 --> 00:28:53,964
in the sleeping bag.
549
00:28:53,965 --> 00:28:57,965
We're getting past
that threshold now where
550
00:28:58,068 --> 00:29:01,068
I need to warm my body up
and then keep it warm.
551
00:29:01,172 --> 00:29:05,654
I just got to play
the smart game.
552
00:29:05,655 --> 00:29:07,724
♪
553
00:29:07,827 --> 00:29:11,688
The first 30 to 40 days,
I felt unstoppable.
554
00:29:11,689 --> 00:29:14,724
But now that it's getting
colder, it's getting longer,
555
00:29:14,827 --> 00:29:16,724
I'm starting
to see some cracks.
556
00:29:16,827 --> 00:29:18,517
♪ ♪
557
00:29:18,620 --> 00:29:21,517
So you want to be on "Alone,"
do you?
558
00:29:21,620 --> 00:29:22,930
[sniffles]
559
00:29:22,931 --> 00:29:24,895
Do you want your feet
to damn near feel like
560
00:29:24,896 --> 00:29:26,309
they're going to fall off?
561
00:29:26,310 --> 00:29:27,378
♪ ♪
562
00:29:27,379 --> 00:29:29,757
Hike miles and miles and miles?
563
00:29:29,758 --> 00:29:30,758
♪
564
00:29:30,862 --> 00:29:33,793
Starve, have no fat
in your diet?
565
00:29:33,896 --> 00:29:35,034
[sniffles]
566
00:29:35,137 --> 00:29:38,792
Don't talk to a human
in freaking weeks?
567
00:29:38,793 --> 00:29:40,654
♪ ♪
568
00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:43,688
Well, then
you're the right person.
569
00:29:43,689 --> 00:29:45,861
'Cause this is
what we do out here.
570
00:29:45,862 --> 00:29:51,309
♪
571
00:29:51,310 --> 00:29:56,688
All that hiking for nothing.
Produced diddly squat.
572
00:29:56,689 --> 00:29:58,274
♪
573
00:29:58,275 --> 00:30:00,309
Think I'm coming down
with something too,
574
00:30:00,310 --> 00:30:02,344
like a stomach bug or--
575
00:30:02,448 --> 00:30:03,481
♪ ♪
576
00:30:03,482 --> 00:30:05,344
I don't know, man.
577
00:30:05,448 --> 00:30:07,792
♪ ♪
578
00:30:07,793 --> 00:30:10,136
[groans]
[bleep].
579
00:30:10,137 --> 00:30:17,137
♪ ♪
580
00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:22,240
Oh, I gotta be more careful
on those transitions.
581
00:30:22,241 --> 00:30:24,205
♪
582
00:30:24,206 --> 00:30:26,447
Damn.
583
00:30:26,448 --> 00:30:29,447
Oh, my mind wants
to go home today, boys.
584
00:30:29,448 --> 00:30:32,103
The demons are battling.
585
00:30:32,206 --> 00:30:39,206
♪ ♪
586
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:49,309
Out here, I feel my emotions
cannot be distracted.
587
00:30:49,310 --> 00:30:51,171
♪ ♪
588
00:30:51,172 --> 00:30:54,792
I can't turn on the TV.
I can't play on my phone.
589
00:30:54,793 --> 00:31:01,896
♪
590
00:31:06,896 --> 00:31:12,205
Pretty, uh, crazy how
I can go from, like,
591
00:31:12,206 --> 00:31:15,136
mentally rock solid,
emotionally rock solid.
592
00:31:15,137 --> 00:31:18,136
And then, like, I would have
paid a lot of money
593
00:31:18,137 --> 00:31:19,793
for a couple
phone calls today.
594
00:31:19,896 --> 00:31:20,964
♪ ♪
595
00:31:20,965 --> 00:31:23,793
Been nice to talk to Melissa.
Yeah.
596
00:31:23,896 --> 00:31:25,448
♪ ♪
597
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:27,999
Man, I miss her so much.
I understand it now.
598
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,205
♪
599
00:31:29,206 --> 00:31:31,689
I can see why people tap now.
600
00:31:31,793 --> 00:31:36,654
It's like you want to just
hear their voice so bad.
601
00:31:36,655 --> 00:31:40,861
But it's like, yeah,
I can do that so quickly,
602
00:31:40,862 --> 00:31:44,309
but I got to trade my dreams,
603
00:31:44,310 --> 00:31:45,688
my aspirations.
604
00:31:45,689 --> 00:31:46,930
♪ ♪
605
00:31:46,931 --> 00:31:48,723
So easy sitting on the couch
watching this
606
00:31:48,724 --> 00:31:51,310
being like, oh, man,
just suck it up.
607
00:31:51,413 --> 00:31:53,000
I was that guy.
608
00:31:53,103 --> 00:31:55,000
♪ ♪
609
00:31:55,103 --> 00:31:57,309
We need to suffer, though.
610
00:31:57,310 --> 00:31:59,448
♪
611
00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:01,481
This is part of it, man.
612
00:32:01,482 --> 00:32:05,102
It's all sunshine and roses
the first month.
613
00:32:05,103 --> 00:32:09,274
Second month gets a bit,
OK, now we're into it.
614
00:32:09,275 --> 00:32:12,757
And I have issues
that I need to resolve.
615
00:32:12,758 --> 00:32:14,964
♪ ♪
616
00:32:14,965 --> 00:32:17,999
Here's a little bit
of a bombshell.
617
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,136
Me and Melissa, we've been
separated for two years.
618
00:32:21,137 --> 00:32:22,964
♪ ♪
619
00:32:22,965 --> 00:32:25,792
I didn't tell anybody
in the cast or the production.
620
00:32:25,793 --> 00:32:30,205
I didn't want it to look like
I had any chinks in my armor.
621
00:32:30,206 --> 00:32:33,448
We're pretty much
kinda getting back together.
622
00:32:33,551 --> 00:32:35,067
But it's just we don't know.
623
00:32:35,068 --> 00:32:41,275
♪ ♪
624
00:32:41,379 --> 00:32:44,275
It's, uh it's weird how it--
625
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:47,688
this game plays
on your emotions.
626
00:32:47,689 --> 00:32:49,517
Let's see if we can rebound,
627
00:32:49,620 --> 00:32:51,964
battle through it,
and come back.
628
00:32:51,965 --> 00:32:53,930
We're going to have a talk
with ourself tonight,
629
00:32:53,931 --> 00:32:58,758
reel it back in, lock in,
and find our groove again.
630
00:32:58,862 --> 00:33:05,965
♪ ♪
631
00:33:10,551 --> 00:33:13,481
[dramatic music]
632
00:33:13,482 --> 00:33:20,517
♪
633
00:33:24,482 --> 00:33:27,758
What?
634
00:33:30,344 --> 00:33:31,964
Feel like
I'm back at the clubs.
635
00:33:31,965 --> 00:33:36,240
No, I never did that.
[laughs]
636
00:33:36,241 --> 00:33:39,792
OK, that's not true.
I did. I did.
637
00:33:39,793 --> 00:33:41,999
It actually is,
believe it or not,
638
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,448
slightly less smoky
than yesterday.
639
00:33:44,551 --> 00:33:49,067
So what I've done is I've
opened the bullboat further.
640
00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:53,481
I mean, I've opened up the
bullboat pretty significantly
641
00:33:53,482 --> 00:33:57,102
to make that smoke escape
a bit better.
642
00:33:57,103 --> 00:34:00,309
I mean, I can breathe.
[sniffles]
643
00:34:00,310 --> 00:34:04,586
It's not as clear as it
should be, but I can breathe.
644
00:34:04,689 --> 00:34:07,999
Definitely some steam.
645
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,103
And some condensation.
646
00:34:13,275 --> 00:34:16,688
But overall, it's actually
not as bad as it has been,
647
00:34:16,689 --> 00:34:17,861
so that's good.
648
00:34:17,862 --> 00:34:21,481
I don't want to jinx it,
but it's good.
649
00:34:21,482 --> 00:34:23,895
Well, we're gonna
eat this rabbit.
650
00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:26,102
♪
651
00:34:26,103 --> 00:34:27,723
You know,
I really worry sometimes
652
00:34:27,724 --> 00:34:29,688
about how I'm going
to be portrayed.
653
00:34:29,689 --> 00:34:30,688
♪
654
00:34:30,689 --> 00:34:32,586
You know, my full-time job is
655
00:34:32,689 --> 00:34:35,172
I own my own company where
I teach people skills.
656
00:34:35,275 --> 00:34:36,999
♪ ♪
657
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,412
But this is a whole
other arena, what I'm doing.
658
00:34:40,413 --> 00:34:41,655
You know?
659
00:34:41,758 --> 00:34:45,000
Oh, that's never fun
getting in and out of that.
660
00:34:45,103 --> 00:34:46,895
I teach survival.
661
00:34:46,896 --> 00:34:49,412
You know, I teach
emergency preparedness.
662
00:34:49,413 --> 00:34:52,205
I teach how to get out
of sticky situations.
663
00:34:52,206 --> 00:34:54,275
This is wilderness living.
664
00:34:54,379 --> 00:34:57,896
This is different.
This takes guts.
665
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,136
Today, I'm going
to pluck some spruce boughs
666
00:35:01,137 --> 00:35:02,586
to use for ice fishing.
667
00:35:02,689 --> 00:35:05,930
♪ ♪
668
00:35:05,931 --> 00:35:08,171
OK.
669
00:35:08,172 --> 00:35:09,447
The spruce boughs,
670
00:35:09,448 --> 00:35:10,862
we're actually going
to go into the hole
671
00:35:10,965 --> 00:35:13,412
which we create when
we break through the ice,
672
00:35:13,413 --> 00:35:14,655
drop the line in.
673
00:35:14,758 --> 00:35:16,655
So the boughs
will be essentially
674
00:35:16,758 --> 00:35:20,033
a block for the ice
to freeze solid
675
00:35:20,034 --> 00:35:22,033
and that each morning,
I could break the ice
676
00:35:22,034 --> 00:35:23,826
with ease to check the lines.
677
00:35:23,827 --> 00:35:27,344
♪
678
00:35:27,448 --> 00:35:31,309
I was very warm last night.
679
00:35:31,310 --> 00:35:33,723
So that gave me a lot of hope.
680
00:35:33,724 --> 00:35:36,136
That can push me through
the next three weeks
681
00:35:36,137 --> 00:35:37,757
despite the fact that
682
00:35:37,758 --> 00:35:40,723
I'm pretty sure
I cooked my eyeballs.
683
00:35:40,724 --> 00:35:42,378
[chuckles]
684
00:35:42,379 --> 00:35:45,033
I'm starting to notice
that my eyes are becoming
685
00:35:45,034 --> 00:35:47,171
way more sensitive
to the steam and smoke.
686
00:35:47,172 --> 00:35:51,412
The recovery time
from the steam exposure
687
00:35:51,413 --> 00:35:53,240
is getting longer.
688
00:35:53,241 --> 00:35:56,205
My eyes--
[sniffles]
689
00:35:56,206 --> 00:35:58,447
♪
690
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,274
I wouldn't say they hurt.
They're just really irritated.
691
00:36:02,275 --> 00:36:07,136
♪
692
00:36:07,137 --> 00:36:09,171
You know,
I have a lot on the line.
693
00:36:09,172 --> 00:36:11,793
I travel across the country
teaching people skills.
694
00:36:11,896 --> 00:36:15,034
And here I am,
struggling with smoke.
695
00:36:15,137 --> 00:36:17,378
♪ ♪
696
00:36:17,379 --> 00:36:18,964
The skills part is easy.
697
00:36:18,965 --> 00:36:21,241
But even then,
I've made some mistakes.
698
00:36:21,344 --> 00:36:23,619
♪ ♪
699
00:36:23,620 --> 00:36:26,241
Oh, no.
700
00:36:26,344 --> 00:36:27,861
♪ ♪
701
00:36:27,862 --> 00:36:29,240
Ugh.
702
00:36:29,241 --> 00:36:31,517
I could have chose
an easier shelter to build.
703
00:36:31,620 --> 00:36:35,861
But you know, I didn't
come here to play it safe.
704
00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:36,861
♪
705
00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:38,103
It's definitely a gamble
706
00:36:38,206 --> 00:36:40,792
because I know that
there is a possibility
707
00:36:40,793 --> 00:36:44,343
for people to judge
my performance highly.
708
00:36:44,344 --> 00:36:47,206
There's this pressure
from my peers
709
00:36:47,310 --> 00:36:50,378
and my audience to do well.
710
00:36:50,379 --> 00:36:52,792
But it's well on their terms.
711
00:36:52,793 --> 00:36:54,655
♪ ♪
712
00:36:54,758 --> 00:36:56,620
And that's what's
a little frustrating
713
00:36:56,724 --> 00:37:01,033
because I get to determine
what doing well means.
714
00:37:01,034 --> 00:37:03,930
People are going to think
whatever they want to think.
715
00:37:03,931 --> 00:37:06,102
I'm really doing this for me.
716
00:37:06,103 --> 00:37:09,344
And if anybody wants to go out
and judge my experience,
717
00:37:09,448 --> 00:37:10,930
you can go get off the couch
718
00:37:10,931 --> 00:37:12,931
and apply to the show
next year and prove me wrong.
719
00:37:13,034 --> 00:37:14,793
♪ ♪
720
00:37:14,896 --> 00:37:19,000
Yeah, I feel like
it's time to get warm.
721
00:37:19,103 --> 00:37:20,724
[chuckles]
722
00:37:22,965 --> 00:37:25,964
[dramatic music]
723
00:37:25,965 --> 00:37:33,000
♪ ♪
724
00:37:47,551 --> 00:37:51,965
- Let's go down and check
the gill net and the weir.
725
00:37:52,068 --> 00:37:55,619
Bit of a later start today,
but on Nero time.
726
00:37:55,620 --> 00:37:57,309
So start whenever I want.
727
00:37:57,310 --> 00:37:58,757
♪ ♪
728
00:37:58,758 --> 00:38:00,655
I've been thinking about my
relationship with my dad
729
00:38:00,758 --> 00:38:04,861
growing up, and just not
a lot of time spent together.
730
00:38:04,862 --> 00:38:07,274
He was just working
a lot of the time.
731
00:38:07,275 --> 00:38:09,930
And we'd go through
little bits and pieces,
732
00:38:09,931 --> 00:38:11,930
the stereotypical playing ball
733
00:38:11,931 --> 00:38:15,136
or, you know, camping
or hikes or whatever it is.
734
00:38:15,137 --> 00:38:17,724
The one thing that he always
went back to was fishing.
735
00:38:17,827 --> 00:38:22,344
♪ ♪
736
00:38:22,448 --> 00:38:26,171
Yeah, buddy.
737
00:38:26,172 --> 00:38:28,000
The cold temperatures
have brought
738
00:38:28,103 --> 00:38:31,964
another coney into the mix.
739
00:38:31,965 --> 00:38:35,067
Yes.
740
00:38:35,068 --> 00:38:36,862
[inhales deeply]
Coney time.
741
00:38:36,965 --> 00:38:39,619
Coney time.
Yes.
742
00:38:39,620 --> 00:38:41,861
It's not guaranteed yet, though.
743
00:38:41,862 --> 00:38:44,033
Gotta get it on shore.
744
00:38:44,034 --> 00:38:46,482
♪ ♪
745
00:38:46,586 --> 00:38:49,688
Oh, it's a good-sized one, too.
746
00:38:49,689 --> 00:38:51,309
All right, come on.
747
00:38:51,310 --> 00:38:54,931
[grunts]
Yes.
748
00:38:55,034 --> 00:38:55,931
Yes.
749
00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,724
♪ ♪
750
00:38:57,827 --> 00:39:00,413
[chuckling]
Yes.
751
00:39:00,517 --> 00:39:05,413
Now a good, good size inconnu.
752
00:39:05,517 --> 00:39:07,688
Yes.
753
00:39:07,689 --> 00:39:09,481
Gill net has been working,
but you know,
754
00:39:09,482 --> 00:39:10,930
I don't just sit back
and do nothing.
755
00:39:10,931 --> 00:39:13,240
It's about still just
trying different means.
756
00:39:13,241 --> 00:39:15,102
And not only is it
calories coming in,
757
00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:19,481
but it's the variety that's
going to prolong my time here.
758
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,102
I'm gonna put you back in
the water just for time being.
759
00:39:22,103 --> 00:39:23,757
♪
760
00:39:23,758 --> 00:39:26,136
All my life, I've been looking
for external validation
761
00:39:26,137 --> 00:39:29,792
because I haven't had
the confidence in who I am.
762
00:39:29,793 --> 00:39:32,827
Oh, let's get you scaled
straight up.
763
00:39:32,931 --> 00:39:35,619
And it's always looking
for something external,
764
00:39:35,620 --> 00:39:37,792
somebody else
to give me reassurance
765
00:39:37,793 --> 00:39:40,034
about who I am
and whether I'm loved
766
00:39:40,137 --> 00:39:43,033
or worthy of love
and people's attention.
767
00:39:43,034 --> 00:39:46,034
Oh, this guy's pretty tough
on the scales.
768
00:39:46,137 --> 00:39:49,240
I felt like just being me
was never enough
769
00:39:49,241 --> 00:39:51,689
because from
my experience growing up,
770
00:39:51,793 --> 00:39:53,688
it was never enough
to get the love
771
00:39:53,689 --> 00:39:55,103
and attention that I wanted.
772
00:39:55,206 --> 00:39:57,274
Some of this
straight in the pot.
773
00:39:57,275 --> 00:40:00,103
So I feel like I just
needed to push and do more
774
00:40:00,206 --> 00:40:03,343
and be more to try
and get what I thought
775
00:40:03,344 --> 00:40:05,964
was missing and what everybody
else seemed to have.
776
00:40:05,965 --> 00:40:08,723
Oh yeah,
it's a good first meal.
777
00:40:08,724 --> 00:40:11,827
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
778
00:40:11,931 --> 00:40:15,034
OK, let's get these
gill nets sorted out.
779
00:40:15,137 --> 00:40:18,171
♪ ♪
780
00:40:18,172 --> 00:40:21,034
And now, I've come to a place
where I have that,
781
00:40:21,137 --> 00:40:23,274
that inner resolve
and that inner clarity
782
00:40:23,275 --> 00:40:28,654
in knowing not only who I am
but knowing that I am loved
783
00:40:28,655 --> 00:40:31,482
and that I am special
and worthy.
784
00:40:31,586 --> 00:40:33,033
Thank you, Mr. Inconnu,
785
00:40:33,034 --> 00:40:35,723
for not messing up
my gill net too bad.
786
00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:37,310
♪ ♪
787
00:40:37,413 --> 00:40:41,102
Last few pike have
been pretty violent.
788
00:40:41,103 --> 00:40:43,309
And damn, that placement's
pretty damn good too.
789
00:40:43,310 --> 00:40:45,102
Because of this experience,
790
00:40:45,103 --> 00:40:46,723
for the first time
in my life,
791
00:40:46,724 --> 00:40:51,896
I know and love myself
regardless of anything else.
792
00:40:56,206 --> 00:40:58,000
Oh, [bleep].
793
00:40:58,103 --> 00:40:59,379
[wind howling]
794
00:41:03,517 --> 00:41:05,309
[dramatic music]
795
00:41:05,310 --> 00:41:06,517
♪ ♪
796
00:41:06,620 --> 00:41:08,172
- Oh, [bleep].
797
00:41:08,275 --> 00:41:11,310
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep].
798
00:41:11,413 --> 00:41:13,136
Not good.
799
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,758
♪
800
00:41:15,862 --> 00:41:17,136
Not good.
801
00:41:17,137 --> 00:41:19,550
♪
802
00:41:19,551 --> 00:41:22,792
Wrong step.
Wrong step.
803
00:41:22,793 --> 00:41:24,000
♪
804
00:41:24,103 --> 00:41:26,412
Wrong step.
805
00:41:26,413 --> 00:41:31,412
Gotta get back,
get some firewood in,
806
00:41:31,413 --> 00:41:35,619
and get back and get dry.
807
00:41:35,620 --> 00:41:38,275
Dry, dry, dry.
808
00:41:38,379 --> 00:41:44,723
♪ ♪
809
00:41:44,724 --> 00:41:46,689
[groans]
810
00:41:46,793 --> 00:41:48,171
That sucked.
811
00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:50,723
♪ ♪
812
00:41:50,724 --> 00:41:54,585
That was above-the-knee
submersion.
813
00:41:54,586 --> 00:41:56,723
Then I put my left hand out.
814
00:41:56,724 --> 00:41:59,964
♪
815
00:41:59,965 --> 00:42:05,689
Water went all into
my left mitt as well.
816
00:42:05,793 --> 00:42:07,895
♪ ♪
817
00:42:07,896 --> 00:42:11,137
I've got a fresh change
of thermals.
818
00:42:11,241 --> 00:42:13,688
My pot's full of food.
819
00:42:13,689 --> 00:42:16,172
So I can essentially
just bunker down now
820
00:42:16,275 --> 00:42:18,550
and just dry out all my stuff.
821
00:42:18,551 --> 00:42:21,344
So in that regards,
really thankful.
822
00:42:21,448 --> 00:42:23,757
That was a good reminder
I should be smarter
823
00:42:23,758 --> 00:42:26,343
and I should clear that
and make sure
824
00:42:26,344 --> 00:42:27,758
that's all very,
very accurate
825
00:42:27,862 --> 00:42:29,412
with where to actually step.
826
00:42:29,413 --> 00:42:30,964
♪ ♪
827
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:32,757
Could have been worse.
828
00:42:32,758 --> 00:42:34,000
♪ ♪
829
00:42:34,103 --> 00:42:35,654
Let's get yous dry.
830
00:42:35,655 --> 00:42:37,448
♪ ♪
831
00:42:37,551 --> 00:42:39,034
It's not
a straightforward decision
832
00:42:39,137 --> 00:42:40,448
to choose to come on "Alone."
833
00:42:40,551 --> 00:42:41,826
♪ ♪
834
00:42:41,827 --> 00:42:43,103
That's really good.
835
00:42:43,206 --> 00:42:45,655
[sniffles]
Really, really good.
836
00:42:45,758 --> 00:42:47,067
There's a lot of risks,
837
00:42:47,068 --> 00:42:49,516
not necessarily to do
with the environment,
838
00:42:49,517 --> 00:42:52,274
all of that, absolutely
is something to consider.
839
00:42:52,275 --> 00:42:55,136
But you're also
putting yourself out there
840
00:42:55,137 --> 00:42:58,309
to be seen, to be judged,
841
00:42:58,310 --> 00:43:01,688
and there's a lot of things
that are outside your control
842
00:43:01,689 --> 00:43:04,448
that can really impact
and dictate your journey
843
00:43:04,551 --> 00:43:07,205
and how your experience
is going to be.
844
00:43:07,206 --> 00:43:09,895
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
845
00:43:09,896 --> 00:43:14,516
And to do that publicly is--
yeah, it's scary.
846
00:43:14,517 --> 00:43:16,517
That's really nice as well.
847
00:43:16,620 --> 00:43:18,102
There's things that
you kind of have in mind
848
00:43:18,103 --> 00:43:20,757
how you'd like
your experience to be
849
00:43:20,758 --> 00:43:24,102
and the story that
you'd like to share.
850
00:43:24,103 --> 00:43:26,930
But life doesn't play out
that way.
851
00:43:26,931 --> 00:43:28,378
Life just happens
the way it happens.
852
00:43:28,379 --> 00:43:30,379
And you just need to adjust
853
00:43:30,482 --> 00:43:34,136
and accept
that you're vulnerable.
854
00:43:34,137 --> 00:43:36,171
Like, it was never
my intention to come out here
855
00:43:36,172 --> 00:43:39,758
and work on my relationship
with my dad.
856
00:43:42,827 --> 00:43:43,862
[sniffles]
857
00:43:52,586 --> 00:43:55,102
[sighs]
858
00:43:55,103 --> 00:43:58,930
I was lying in
my sleeping bag.
859
00:43:58,931 --> 00:44:01,309
And--
[sniffles]
860
00:44:01,310 --> 00:44:03,792
I--
861
00:44:03,793 --> 00:44:08,792
I thought about my dad.
862
00:44:08,793 --> 00:44:10,379
And...
863
00:44:15,068 --> 00:44:19,619
Internally,
I've been very critical of him.
864
00:44:19,620 --> 00:44:23,861
And resentful because...
865
00:44:23,862 --> 00:44:25,723
♪
866
00:44:25,724 --> 00:44:28,551
You know, for me, as a child,
867
00:44:28,655 --> 00:44:31,171
you know, I just wish
that he was around more.
868
00:44:31,172 --> 00:44:32,931
[sniffles]
869
00:44:33,034 --> 00:44:35,516
And spent more time with him.
870
00:44:35,517 --> 00:44:37,930
♪
871
00:44:37,931 --> 00:44:41,620
But he just worked a lot.
872
00:44:41,724 --> 00:44:45,550
Just like--
873
00:44:45,551 --> 00:44:47,413
♪ ♪
874
00:44:47,517 --> 00:44:51,585
Just spent so much time,
sacrificed so much of his time
875
00:44:51,586 --> 00:44:54,655
and his life working.
876
00:44:54,758 --> 00:44:56,724
♪ ♪
877
00:44:56,827 --> 00:44:59,481
To look after us
and to provide for us.
878
00:44:59,482 --> 00:45:01,792
♪ ♪
879
00:45:01,793 --> 00:45:03,343
He'd do anything for us.
880
00:45:03,344 --> 00:45:06,136
He still would
do anything for me.
881
00:45:06,137 --> 00:45:07,550
♪
882
00:45:07,551 --> 00:45:09,413
He would.
883
00:45:09,517 --> 00:45:10,827
If I needed help...
884
00:45:10,931 --> 00:45:15,274
♪ ♪
885
00:45:15,275 --> 00:45:18,861
And asked,
at the drop of a hat,
886
00:45:18,862 --> 00:45:20,827
he would come and do it.
887
00:45:20,931 --> 00:45:23,412
♪ ♪
888
00:45:23,413 --> 00:45:24,688
[sniffles]
889
00:45:24,689 --> 00:45:29,861
He's given so much to support.
890
00:45:29,862 --> 00:45:32,724
♪
891
00:45:32,827 --> 00:45:35,102
And do what
he thought was right.
892
00:45:35,103 --> 00:45:37,102
♪ ♪
893
00:45:37,103 --> 00:45:41,550
And here I've been
just resentful.
894
00:45:41,551 --> 00:45:44,172
Holding a grudge.
[sniffles]
895
00:45:44,275 --> 00:45:47,930
And he did exactly
what I'd do for my son.
896
00:45:47,931 --> 00:45:49,999
I'd do anything for him.
897
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,999
♪
898
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,205
I'd go through that for him.
899
00:45:55,206 --> 00:45:57,999
♪ ♪
900
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,310
And have I ever really,
truly said thank you?
901
00:46:01,413 --> 00:46:03,757
♪ ♪
902
00:46:03,758 --> 00:46:06,550
And shown my gratitude
to my dad?
903
00:46:06,551 --> 00:46:12,551
♪ ♪
904
00:46:12,655 --> 00:46:13,792
Thank you, Dad.
905
00:46:13,793 --> 00:46:16,379
♪ ♪
906
00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:18,205
I love you.
907
00:46:18,206 --> 00:46:23,620
♪
908
00:46:23,724 --> 00:46:25,241
[sniffles]
909
00:46:25,344 --> 00:46:29,310
[sighs]
910
00:46:29,413 --> 00:46:31,240
And you know,
the thing is...
911
00:46:31,241 --> 00:46:34,861
♪ ♪
912
00:46:34,862 --> 00:46:38,516
I came out here
913
00:46:38,517 --> 00:46:40,895
to learn and grow,
914
00:46:40,896 --> 00:46:44,550
to become a better father
for my son.
915
00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:46,895
♪ ♪
916
00:46:46,896 --> 00:46:50,827
I didn't realize
917
00:46:50,931 --> 00:46:54,723
what else I needed to do
is come out here to become
918
00:46:54,724 --> 00:46:59,619
a better son for my own dad.
919
00:46:59,620 --> 00:47:04,309
You deserve more.
[sniffles]
920
00:47:04,310 --> 00:47:08,965
You deserve a better son.
921
00:47:09,068 --> 00:47:13,310
When I get back, I want to
spend more time with my dad.
922
00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:16,448
[wind howling]
923
00:47:23,551 --> 00:47:26,620
[dramatic music]
924
00:47:26,724 --> 00:47:30,655
♪ ♪
925
00:47:30,758 --> 00:47:33,447
- [groans]
Cramp started again.
926
00:47:33,448 --> 00:47:34,792
[groans]
927
00:47:34,793 --> 00:47:35,862
♪ ♪
928
00:47:35,965 --> 00:47:37,826
[groans]
929
00:47:37,827 --> 00:47:39,240
Oh, God.
930
00:47:39,241 --> 00:47:42,240
♪
931
00:47:42,241 --> 00:47:43,482
[groans]
932
00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:48,724
Good morning.
933
00:47:48,827 --> 00:47:50,309
Wow, it was a wild one
last night.
934
00:47:50,310 --> 00:47:51,550
It's still a bit wild now.
935
00:47:51,551 --> 00:47:55,309
It's, uh,
it's been pretty windy.
936
00:47:55,310 --> 00:47:58,723
And the floor of my shelter
937
00:47:58,724 --> 00:48:02,412
is covered with spindrift snow
938
00:48:02,413 --> 00:48:05,861
which has just blown in
through the chimney.
939
00:48:05,862 --> 00:48:09,724
However, my bed is
completely snow-free,
940
00:48:09,827 --> 00:48:12,688
so that makes me
a very happy bunny.
941
00:48:12,689 --> 00:48:17,551
Um, right, OK, so this
is the view this morning.
942
00:48:17,655 --> 00:48:20,757
There's a fair amount
of extra snow overnight.
943
00:48:20,758 --> 00:48:24,930
Right, let's have a quick check
of the local snares.
944
00:48:24,931 --> 00:48:26,343
♪ ♪
945
00:48:26,344 --> 00:48:27,793
Temperature's
dropping quite a lot,
946
00:48:27,896 --> 00:48:32,964
so that seems to indicate
that the snow
947
00:48:32,965 --> 00:48:34,861
may be over for a while.
948
00:48:34,862 --> 00:48:39,999
And as tough as it is
to have low temperatures...
949
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,274
♪
950
00:48:41,275 --> 00:48:44,688
I'm finding the snow
is more difficult to manage.
951
00:48:44,689 --> 00:48:48,067
It sort of covers up
all the tracks.
952
00:48:48,068 --> 00:48:50,930
♪
953
00:48:50,931 --> 00:48:53,757
No fox tracks, no--
no anything.
954
00:48:53,758 --> 00:48:55,274
This is--
it's a worry, really,
955
00:48:55,275 --> 00:48:58,481
because if there's no game,
there's no food.
956
00:48:58,482 --> 00:49:00,102
♪ ♪
957
00:49:00,103 --> 00:49:03,482
Wow, the snow is deep here.
Look at this.
958
00:49:03,586 --> 00:49:05,654
And I'm wearing these bibs.
959
00:49:05,655 --> 00:49:07,034
I'm going to need them.
960
00:49:07,137 --> 00:49:08,999
♪ ♪
961
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,862
This is going to be
slow going today.
962
00:49:11,965 --> 00:49:16,964
♪ ♪
963
00:49:16,965 --> 00:49:20,136
It's my first snare here.
There's nothing in that.
964
00:49:20,137 --> 00:49:22,067
Let's move that around
a little bit.
965
00:49:22,068 --> 00:49:23,964
[sighs]
966
00:49:23,965 --> 00:49:26,344
I've had a pretty good run.
I've had quite a few hares.
967
00:49:26,448 --> 00:49:29,792
But the weather became
a lot more unsettled.
968
00:49:29,793 --> 00:49:31,792
The winds can be
pretty strong,
969
00:49:31,793 --> 00:49:34,412
and that causes snow drifts.
970
00:49:34,413 --> 00:49:36,172
There's a run through here
as well.
971
00:49:36,275 --> 00:49:38,241
I mean, some of the snares
have been completely buried.
972
00:49:38,344 --> 00:49:40,033
Nothing in that one.
973
00:49:40,034 --> 00:49:41,033
♪ ♪
974
00:49:41,034 --> 00:49:43,068
I'll move that one up a bit.
975
00:49:43,172 --> 00:49:44,481
Those that aren't
completely covered
976
00:49:44,482 --> 00:49:46,481
are moved out of position.
977
00:49:46,482 --> 00:49:49,412
And as a result,
my ability to catch hares
978
00:49:49,413 --> 00:49:52,068
has diminished
quite significantly.
979
00:49:52,172 --> 00:49:54,826
So it's getting tough,
definitely getting tough.
980
00:49:54,827 --> 00:49:56,516
♪
981
00:49:56,517 --> 00:49:59,689
Every step is just
brutal punishment.
982
00:49:59,793 --> 00:50:01,274
♪ ♪
983
00:50:01,275 --> 00:50:04,343
And there's got to be an
easier way of getting hares.
984
00:50:04,344 --> 00:50:07,102
Or any kind of food,
for that matter.
985
00:50:07,103 --> 00:50:09,310
[sniffles]
So I shall go back.
986
00:50:09,965 --> 00:50:12,206
I've found myself
in a position where
987
00:50:12,310 --> 00:50:14,757
I'm not having
any success fishing.
988
00:50:14,758 --> 00:50:16,861
The foraging is not happening
989
00:50:16,862 --> 00:50:18,171
because there's
too much snow out.
990
00:50:18,172 --> 00:50:19,964
All the berries are covered.
991
00:50:19,965 --> 00:50:21,792
And my one source of food,
992
00:50:21,793 --> 00:50:24,447
suddenly now,
I can't catch them.
993
00:50:24,448 --> 00:50:26,481
♪ ♪
994
00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:30,861
I can't honestly see this
going on another month or more.
995
00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:35,689
Just not much prospect of
getting any more food, really.
996
00:50:35,793 --> 00:50:38,861
This is definitely
one of the toughest parts.
997
00:50:38,862 --> 00:50:40,516
You know,
I've had a few periods
998
00:50:40,517 --> 00:50:44,137
of starvation before now
in the early stages.
999
00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:46,309
But at this stage,
it's far more serious
1000
00:50:46,310 --> 00:50:48,930
because I just have
no body weight to spare.
1001
00:50:48,931 --> 00:50:53,619
So a gap in my ability
to actually trap hares
1002
00:50:53,620 --> 00:50:55,965
suddenly has become
a pretty serious threat
1003
00:50:56,068 --> 00:50:58,585
to my ability to function.
1004
00:50:58,586 --> 00:51:00,688
I hate returning home
empty-handed.
1005
00:51:00,689 --> 00:51:02,309
Oof, wow.
1006
00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:04,757
You would not believe
how hard everything becomes
1007
00:51:04,758 --> 00:51:09,481
when you are
in a calorie deficit.
1008
00:51:09,482 --> 00:51:11,309
Oh, my God.
1009
00:51:11,310 --> 00:51:18,344
♪
1010
00:51:27,172 --> 00:51:30,274
Wow, and what a mess.
Look at me. God.
1011
00:51:30,275 --> 00:51:33,412
[sighs]
1012
00:51:33,413 --> 00:51:37,516
Nature and the outdoors
is an unforgiving place.
1013
00:51:37,517 --> 00:51:38,930
And today was one of those days
1014
00:51:38,931 --> 00:51:41,654
that reminds you of
how unforgiving it can be
1015
00:51:41,655 --> 00:51:45,550
and how poorly
my body is performing
1016
00:51:45,551 --> 00:51:47,757
under the circumstances.
1017
00:51:47,758 --> 00:51:49,309
There's a little piece
of me that just
1018
00:51:49,310 --> 00:51:50,551
wants to push that button.
1019
00:51:50,655 --> 00:51:54,758
And I can just sit back,
sip a cup of coffee,
1020
00:51:54,862 --> 00:51:59,000
and I won't have to worry
about the struggle anymore.
1021
00:51:59,103 --> 00:52:02,205
♪ ♪
1022
00:52:02,206 --> 00:52:03,309
There's a lot
of people out here
1023
00:52:03,310 --> 00:52:04,689
that perform
at a very high level
1024
00:52:04,793 --> 00:52:07,689
within the world of
bushcraft and survival skills.
1025
00:52:07,793 --> 00:52:09,965
But this is a massive,
massive challenge
1026
00:52:10,068 --> 00:52:13,102
regardless of how skilled
or experienced you are.
1027
00:52:13,103 --> 00:52:16,550
Real hardship,
real starvation.
1028
00:52:16,551 --> 00:52:18,550
And it's painful.
1029
00:52:18,551 --> 00:52:20,309
[Ziga] That's enough
of monkey business.
1030
00:52:20,310 --> 00:52:22,102
[groans]
1031
00:52:22,103 --> 00:52:23,550
[Andrew]
I think as a younger man,
1032
00:52:23,551 --> 00:52:26,343
I wouldn't have been able
to tolerate the discomfort
1033
00:52:26,344 --> 00:52:28,930
in the same way
that I can now.
1034
00:52:28,931 --> 00:52:31,792
[Jacks]
I can't stand it.
1035
00:52:31,793 --> 00:52:34,586
[Andrew] The knocks that life
tends to throw at you...
1036
00:52:34,689 --> 00:52:36,034
♪ ♪
1037
00:52:36,137 --> 00:52:38,447
Have an amazing ability
to make you very resilient.
1038
00:52:38,448 --> 00:52:39,861
♪ ♪
1039
00:52:39,862 --> 00:52:41,827
- [sighs]
1040
00:52:41,931 --> 00:52:43,067
[Andrew]
It's a fight.
1041
00:52:43,068 --> 00:52:45,240
Every day now is
becoming a fight.
1042
00:52:45,241 --> 00:52:46,895
♪
1043
00:52:46,896 --> 00:52:50,724
Every day is getting harder.
Every day is getting colder.
1044
00:52:50,827 --> 00:52:53,343
Every day,
we're getting skinnier.
1045
00:52:53,344 --> 00:52:57,481
How long I can continue for
is up for question.
1046
00:52:57,482 --> 00:52:59,931
♪ ♪
1047
00:53:00,034 --> 00:53:01,792
As tough as it is,
1048
00:53:01,793 --> 00:53:05,241
the more of that school
of hard knocks that you get,
1049
00:53:05,344 --> 00:53:06,862
the more resilient you become.
1050
00:53:06,965 --> 00:53:09,033
♪ ♪
1051
00:53:09,034 --> 00:53:11,448
And that's the reality
of the world we're in.
1052
00:53:11,551 --> 00:53:14,586
♪ ♪
1053
00:53:20,517 --> 00:53:23,310
[dramatic music]
1054
00:53:23,413 --> 00:53:30,448
♪ ♪
1055
00:53:34,137 --> 00:53:36,000
- [sighs]
1056
00:53:36,103 --> 00:53:38,826
♪ ♪
1057
00:53:38,827 --> 00:53:40,413
What's up?
1058
00:53:40,517 --> 00:53:42,826
♪ ♪
1059
00:53:42,827 --> 00:53:45,792
Today, I was going to
go work on a trap line.
1060
00:53:45,793 --> 00:53:48,275
But with the snow,
1061
00:53:48,379 --> 00:53:50,895
that doesn't really
make a lot of sense.
1062
00:53:50,896 --> 00:53:53,862
However, the gill net
needs to be repaired.
1063
00:53:53,965 --> 00:53:55,482
♪ ♪
1064
00:53:55,586 --> 00:53:58,344
Ah, [bleep].
1065
00:53:58,448 --> 00:54:00,103
And the good thing is is that
we don't actually have to make
1066
00:54:00,206 --> 00:54:04,585
a full net because we're
just repairing some things.
1067
00:54:04,586 --> 00:54:10,033
But I think if I had to guess,
about 4 feet should be plenty.
1068
00:54:10,034 --> 00:54:11,688
♪ ♪
1069
00:54:11,689 --> 00:54:14,205
4 feet is still
a lot to net-make.
1070
00:54:14,206 --> 00:54:15,826
♪
1071
00:54:15,827 --> 00:54:18,826
The good thing is that
we've got nothing but time.
1072
00:54:18,827 --> 00:54:20,931
[laughs]
1073
00:54:21,034 --> 00:54:24,309
I've been having a lot of
really extreme emotions here
1074
00:54:24,310 --> 00:54:27,274
about failure
and image and ego.
1075
00:54:27,275 --> 00:54:28,309
♪ ♪
1076
00:54:28,310 --> 00:54:29,896
Maybe it's a good thing.
1077
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,757
♪ ♪
1078
00:54:31,758 --> 00:54:34,723
Maybe I'm having an ego death.
1079
00:54:34,724 --> 00:54:38,343
Even if I just do this
for me and my personal goals,
1080
00:54:38,344 --> 00:54:43,826
it's really easy to say I can
be happy with what I've done.
1081
00:54:43,827 --> 00:54:45,827
Well, it looks like I'm going
to be doing this for a while.
1082
00:54:45,931 --> 00:54:48,171
[laughs]
1083
00:54:48,172 --> 00:54:49,620
Is that right?
1084
00:54:49,724 --> 00:54:53,412
But then I think about
the countless young women
1085
00:54:53,413 --> 00:54:58,689
who feel that they can't do
incredible things...
1086
00:54:58,793 --> 00:55:00,309
♪ ♪
1087
00:55:00,310 --> 00:55:02,758
Great.
So, yeah, now I can't see.
1088
00:55:02,862 --> 00:55:04,172
[bleep].
1089
00:55:04,275 --> 00:55:08,378
♪ ♪
1090
00:55:08,379 --> 00:55:11,964
Who feel that somebody else
1091
00:55:11,965 --> 00:55:13,826
wrote the script
to their life.
1092
00:55:13,827 --> 00:55:15,171
♪ ♪
1093
00:55:15,172 --> 00:55:19,241
My story can show them
that, yeah,
1094
00:55:19,344 --> 00:55:21,826
you can change your narrative.
1095
00:55:21,827 --> 00:55:25,689
My journey has changed my life
1096
00:55:25,793 --> 00:55:27,862
from one of resistance
to reward.
1097
00:55:27,965 --> 00:55:29,895
♪ ♪
1098
00:55:29,896 --> 00:55:31,895
From reaching to releasing,
1099
00:55:31,896 --> 00:55:35,517
and the confidence
to take back the pen
1100
00:55:35,620 --> 00:55:38,481
to writing my own narrative.
1101
00:55:38,482 --> 00:55:41,481
♪ ♪
1102
00:55:41,482 --> 00:55:43,343
[groans]
1103
00:55:43,344 --> 00:55:46,516
I think I burnt my eyes again.
1104
00:55:46,517 --> 00:55:47,930
[sighs]
1105
00:55:47,931 --> 00:55:51,240
♪
1106
00:55:51,241 --> 00:55:53,655
[groans]
1107
00:55:53,758 --> 00:55:55,792
So you can't tell, I want--
[bleep] hot.
1108
00:55:55,793 --> 00:55:58,067
♪
1109
00:55:58,068 --> 00:56:01,309
[groans]
Damn it.
1110
00:56:01,310 --> 00:56:04,757
♪ ♪
1111
00:56:04,758 --> 00:56:05,930
[groans]
1112
00:56:05,931 --> 00:56:07,757
♪
1113
00:56:07,758 --> 00:56:09,585
[groans]
1114
00:56:09,586 --> 00:56:12,758
It's too painful.
I can't do it.
1115
00:56:12,862 --> 00:56:14,826
♪ ♪
1116
00:56:14,827 --> 00:56:17,723
I can't [bleep]
do this right now.
1117
00:56:17,724 --> 00:56:19,793
♪ ♪
1118
00:56:19,896 --> 00:56:23,413
The smoke is rising and--
1119
00:56:23,517 --> 00:56:25,620
[screams]
1120
00:56:25,724 --> 00:56:27,999
I can't [bleep] see!
1121
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,447
♪ ♪
1122
00:56:30,448 --> 00:56:33,240
[sniffles and groans]
1123
00:56:33,241 --> 00:56:36,274
♪
1124
00:56:36,275 --> 00:56:38,067
I don't know what to do.
1125
00:56:38,068 --> 00:56:40,274
I have to get
this [bleep] net done.
1126
00:56:40,275 --> 00:56:43,516
[sniffles]
I don't know what to do.
1127
00:56:43,517 --> 00:56:46,930
Here is my
1128
00:56:46,931 --> 00:56:49,172
favorite-least-favorite
part of the day.
1129
00:56:49,275 --> 00:56:51,344
It's like, I get to be warm.
1130
00:56:51,448 --> 00:56:52,827
I get to eat.
1131
00:56:52,931 --> 00:56:55,723
But then I have to be tortured
at the same time.
1132
00:56:55,724 --> 00:56:59,585
♪ ♪
1133
00:56:59,586 --> 00:57:01,826
My eyes.
[bleep].
1134
00:57:01,827 --> 00:57:04,309
♪
1135
00:57:04,310 --> 00:57:06,930
I can't even open them.
[groans]
1136
00:57:06,931 --> 00:57:11,310
It hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad.
1137
00:57:11,413 --> 00:57:15,136
♪ ♪
1138
00:57:15,137 --> 00:57:18,964
I'm not really ready for bed,
but I can't see.
1139
00:57:18,965 --> 00:57:21,585
♪
1140
00:57:21,586 --> 00:57:25,378
So I can't do anything.
1141
00:57:25,379 --> 00:57:28,171
Oh, my eyes.
1142
00:57:28,172 --> 00:57:30,999
Oh, my God.
My eyes.
1143
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:37,826
♪
1144
00:57:37,827 --> 00:57:40,240
[groans]
1145
00:57:40,241 --> 00:57:42,240
♪
1146
00:57:42,241 --> 00:57:45,723
[groans]
1147
00:57:45,724 --> 00:57:48,067
♪ ♪
1148
00:57:48,068 --> 00:57:50,895
[screams]
1149
00:57:50,896 --> 00:57:57,931
♪
1150
00:58:01,965 --> 00:58:05,240
I don't know what to do.
1151
00:58:05,241 --> 00:58:08,413
I think I really hurt my eyes.
1152
00:58:10,827 --> 00:58:15,861
It's been 12 hours.
1153
00:58:15,862 --> 00:58:20,896
And I can somewhat
open my right one.
1154
00:58:23,724 --> 00:58:26,757
Barely my left.
1155
00:58:26,758 --> 00:58:30,551
Um, my left one feels like
there's something in it.
1156
00:58:32,931 --> 00:58:37,448
Like it's scratchy or it's cut.
1157
00:58:37,551 --> 00:58:40,481
I can't open them for more
than a second or two
1158
00:58:40,482 --> 00:58:42,999
without tears
coming to my eyes.
1159
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:50,000
♪ ♪
1160
00:58:53,103 --> 00:58:57,067
I can't see the screen.
1161
00:58:57,068 --> 00:58:59,931
♪ ♪
1162
00:59:00,034 --> 00:59:02,172
Everything's really blurry.
1163
00:59:02,275 --> 00:59:04,654
♪ ♪
1164
00:59:04,655 --> 00:59:09,274
We do have a syringe
in our med kit.
1165
00:59:09,275 --> 00:59:11,862
♪ ♪
1166
00:59:11,965 --> 00:59:13,826
And I was thinking about
how I could use that
1167
00:59:13,827 --> 00:59:17,275
maybe to flush my eyes out.
1168
00:59:17,379 --> 00:59:20,274
But I can't safely
disinfect water right now.
1169
00:59:20,275 --> 00:59:23,654
♪ ♪
1170
00:59:23,655 --> 00:59:25,895
I'd have to build a fire.
1171
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:28,586
♪
1172
00:59:28,689 --> 00:59:32,171
I didn't foresee this
in any way.
1173
00:59:32,172 --> 00:59:36,413
As someone who is a
professional in this field,
1174
00:59:36,517 --> 00:59:39,034
I am embarrassed,
but things happen.
1175
00:59:39,137 --> 00:59:40,379
♪ ♪
1176
00:59:40,482 --> 00:59:43,412
I can't lay here
1177
00:59:43,413 --> 00:59:45,619
all day trying to get warm
1178
00:59:45,620 --> 00:59:49,826
and be blind in
an environment like this.
1179
00:59:49,827 --> 00:59:51,205
♪
1180
00:59:51,206 --> 00:59:53,240
I can't.
It's not safe.
1181
00:59:53,241 --> 00:59:57,619
It's not smart.
And...
1182
00:59:57,620 --> 00:59:59,103
♪
1183
00:59:59,206 --> 01:00:01,723
There's nothing more I can do.
1184
01:00:01,724 --> 01:00:04,931
[phone beeping]
1185
01:00:05,034 --> 01:00:09,136
♪ ♪
1186
01:00:09,137 --> 01:00:10,689
[sighs]
1187
01:00:13,103 --> 01:00:14,136
[sighs]
1188
01:00:14,137 --> 01:00:16,412
This is Jacks,
1189
01:00:16,413 --> 01:00:19,378
and I am officially
tapping out.
1190
01:00:19,379 --> 01:00:24,619
♪
1191
01:00:24,620 --> 01:00:28,067
[helicopter whirring]
1192
01:00:28,068 --> 01:00:33,654
I put some snow in this gauze
for inflammation.
1193
01:00:33,655 --> 01:00:36,689
Maybe it'll melt,
irrigate my eyes a little bit.
1194
01:00:36,793 --> 01:00:43,136
♪ ♪
1195
01:00:43,137 --> 01:00:45,757
[sighs]
1196
01:00:45,758 --> 01:00:47,792
♪ ♪
1197
01:00:47,793 --> 01:00:51,275
This was not an easy decision
for me to make.
1198
01:00:55,793 --> 01:00:59,447
I've always had a problem
with self-care,
1199
01:00:59,448 --> 01:01:03,689
and I think that's because
there is a lack of--
1200
01:01:03,793 --> 01:01:08,688
there is a little bit of a lack
of love there towards the self.
1201
01:01:08,689 --> 01:01:13,343
I know that by leaving here
is protecting myself.
1202
01:01:13,344 --> 01:01:17,724
That is self-care, and it's
the greatest act of self-love.
1203
01:01:20,724 --> 01:01:25,033
I became much more vulnerable,
1204
01:01:25,034 --> 01:01:28,620
but much more authentic
out here.
1205
01:01:28,724 --> 01:01:32,655
And in return, I actually think
I became stronger,
1206
01:01:32,758 --> 01:01:36,999
way more connected
to land and spirit,
1207
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,240
courageous.
1208
01:01:40,241 --> 01:01:44,862
I've never felt more alive...
1209
01:01:46,827 --> 01:01:51,482
In my entire life than I have
in the past two months.
1210
01:02:00,724 --> 01:02:03,310
I never thought
I could feel that.
1211
01:02:05,620 --> 01:02:07,412
[inhales deeply]
1212
01:02:07,413 --> 01:02:09,067
♪
1213
01:02:09,068 --> 01:02:11,274
This is the first time
in my life where
1214
01:02:11,275 --> 01:02:15,481
I've chosen me
1215
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:18,481
before anything else, really.
1216
01:02:18,482 --> 01:02:20,930
♪
1217
01:02:20,931 --> 01:02:24,516
This is the first time
in my life that I chose
1218
01:02:24,517 --> 01:02:27,309
to love my most authentic self
1219
01:02:27,310 --> 01:02:29,723
♪
1220
01:02:29,724 --> 01:02:31,619
over the armor that I wear.
1221
01:02:31,620 --> 01:02:33,585
♪ ♪
1222
01:02:33,586 --> 01:02:37,585
This is a side of me that I
normally don't let people see.
1223
01:02:37,586 --> 01:02:39,447
My truth is out there.
1224
01:02:39,448 --> 01:02:41,447
Who I really am is out there.
1225
01:02:41,448 --> 01:02:45,895
And now, I'm free.
1226
01:02:45,896 --> 01:02:48,688
I don't need
that armor anymore.
1227
01:02:48,689 --> 01:02:51,931
This experience has given me
the best gift possible.
1228
01:02:52,034 --> 01:02:53,481
♪ ♪
1229
01:02:53,482 --> 01:02:57,930
And that is that I can
fully be that person now.
1230
01:02:57,931 --> 01:03:00,827
I get to leave here
1231
01:03:00,931 --> 01:03:03,826
leaning into that person,
1232
01:03:03,827 --> 01:03:06,481
and I get to love
that person now.
1233
01:03:06,482 --> 01:03:09,862
Being here was an opportunity
of a lifetime.
1234
01:03:09,965 --> 01:03:14,033
♪ ♪
1235
01:03:14,034 --> 01:03:15,481
But this?
1236
01:03:15,482 --> 01:03:17,033
♪ ♪
1237
01:03:17,034 --> 01:03:18,723
You know, this is forever.
1238
01:03:18,724 --> 01:03:25,758
♪ ♪
1239
01:03:35,965 --> 01:03:42,206
♪
1240
01:03:42,310 --> 01:03:44,654
[Andrew] Unless ice fishing
starts to produce,
1241
01:03:44,655 --> 01:03:46,447
things are not looking good
for me.
1242
01:03:46,448 --> 01:03:48,067
I've had an idea
1243
01:03:48,068 --> 01:03:51,689
that will allow "Hiraeth"
the coracle to rise again.
1244
01:03:51,793 --> 01:03:53,240
♪ ♪
1245
01:03:53,241 --> 01:03:56,689
- Holy crap. What the heck is
happening with the shelter?
1246
01:03:56,793 --> 01:03:58,447
♪ ♪
1247
01:03:58,448 --> 01:03:59,654
[bleep].
1248
01:03:59,655 --> 01:04:01,792
- My family photo.
1249
01:04:01,793 --> 01:04:04,827
Not having my family,
the love, the attention,
1250
01:04:04,931 --> 01:04:08,172
the affection, that's what
slowly wears you down.
1251
01:04:08,275 --> 01:04:11,310
♪ ♪