1 00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:16,775 - I gotta get moved in. 2 00:00:16,878 --> 00:00:18,294 I didn't think I would be this far in 3 00:00:18,397 --> 00:00:20,882 and no long-term shelter finished. 4 00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:22,608 Feeling winter gaining on me. 5 00:00:26,888 --> 00:00:29,132 It was right there. 6 00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:31,307 - Four rabbits! 7 00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:35,345 I am so thankful for this four-rabbit day. 8 00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:38,348 - ! 9 00:00:38,452 --> 00:00:40,419 My body's not giving me what I need anymore. 10 00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:42,249 - I am officially tapping out. 11 00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:44,768 I'm not certain how I'm gonna move on from here. 12 00:00:44,872 --> 00:00:47,806 - I just lit my shelter on fire. 13 00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:52,362 Holy ! 14 00:00:56,711 --> 00:00:58,230 male narrator: For the first time, 15 00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:01,785 ten participants will fight to survive the Arctic 16 00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:05,962 for longer than anyone in "Alone" history: 17 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,033 a grueling 100 days. 18 00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:10,553 - This is the ultimate challenge. 19 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,075 - A hundred days in the Arctic is no joke. 20 00:01:15,178 --> 00:01:16,869 If they can endure, 21 00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:19,734 they'll will the biggest prize ever: 22 00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:22,530 $1 million. 23 00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:26,155 - Whoa! - Holy ! 24 00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:27,915 - You can't tap out 25 00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:29,813 when there's a million bucks on the line. 26 00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:31,988 - Oh, my gosh. 27 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,025 - How hard can you work for $10,000 a day? 28 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,441 - It looks like frostbite. 29 00:01:37,752 --> 00:01:39,720 - Holy ! 30 00:01:39,823 --> 00:01:44,414 This is "Alone: Million Dollar Challenge." 31 00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:45,967 - They're just surrounding my shelter. 32 00:02:14,306 --> 00:02:15,997 - Oh, ! 33 00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:18,897 I just lit my shelter on fire. 34 00:02:20,623 --> 00:02:22,659 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nope. 35 00:02:22,763 --> 00:02:25,421 Nope, this ain't happening. 36 00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:27,940 No, no, no, no, no. 37 00:02:28,044 --> 00:02:30,288 Get the [bleep] away 38 00:02:30,391 --> 00:02:32,221 from my [bleep]damn shelter. 39 00:02:32,324 --> 00:02:33,532 Nope. 40 00:02:38,813 --> 00:02:41,057 Go burn somewhere else, bitch! 41 00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:44,992 Whoo! 42 00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:47,477 Whoo! 43 00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:50,342 Holy ! 44 00:02:56,831 --> 00:02:57,729 Whoo! 45 00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:00,594 Oh, my God. 46 00:03:00,697 --> 00:03:02,561 I think that should burn out. 47 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:05,564 Yeah, that just happened. 48 00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:13,676 Well, we've got... 49 00:03:17,093 --> 00:03:20,096 A patch missing out of my shelter now. 50 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,236 Pretty big one that's still smoking up here. 51 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:26,620 What happened was all this soot sticks 52 00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:31,590 to these dried moss and dried pine needles, 53 00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:35,422 and an ember went up, and it just lit everything up. 54 00:03:39,495 --> 00:03:41,635 Doesn't help that it's so damn windy, either. 55 00:03:44,051 --> 00:03:49,194 That...just made for a very interesting night. 56 00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:05,555 Talk about fighting fire with your freaking hands. 57 00:04:08,213 --> 00:04:10,491 Man. 58 00:04:10,595 --> 00:04:13,080 That's not how I'm going out. [bleep] that. 59 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,808 Oh, God. 60 00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:18,741 Oh, man. 61 00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:21,951 Here I'm, like, freaking out and seeing things, but... 62 00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:28,060 I had to stop that. That would've been it. 63 00:04:28,164 --> 00:04:31,201 That would've been my story. 64 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:34,619 So tomorrow... 65 00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:36,897 I'll be fixing that, obviously. 66 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,279 That's priority number one now. 67 00:04:39,382 --> 00:04:42,074 You gotta be so careful out here. 68 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,078 And obviously I'm not using the same materials 69 00:04:46,182 --> 00:04:49,806 I used last time. 70 00:05:12,519 --> 00:05:16,212 So Max can't really talk right now, right? 71 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,835 He's only, like, a year and two months old. 72 00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:24,427 But he has a lot to say in my head. 73 00:05:24,531 --> 00:05:28,224 Every morning, he tells me-- he says, "Dad, get up." 74 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,882 And immediately, I get out of bed. 75 00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:33,781 Um... 76 00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:38,959 I don't feel the best, but that makes me happy. 77 00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:45,759 Last night was the coldest night 78 00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:48,589 'cause I'm missing a really huge chunk 79 00:05:48,693 --> 00:05:50,004 out of my shelter right now. 80 00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:52,869 So we got some remodeling to do. 81 00:05:54,561 --> 00:05:58,150 Gonna have to start with taking down my drying rack. 82 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,119 If you wanna stay out here 83 00:06:01,222 --> 00:06:02,603 and you wanna make it to the end, 84 00:06:02,707 --> 00:06:04,916 you gotta do whatever it takes. 85 00:06:05,019 --> 00:06:07,297 And we haven't even hit November yet. 86 00:06:09,507 --> 00:06:11,371 It's just tough being out here, you know? 87 00:06:11,474 --> 00:06:16,099 It's work 24/7, which-- kinda what I expected. 88 00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:20,310 But I'm gonna try and push through it and overcome. 89 00:06:26,109 --> 00:06:29,665 So probably gonna use this tarp over this spot 90 00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:32,875 because the embers won't catch the tarp on fire. 91 00:06:35,602 --> 00:06:36,913 And with a tarp, 92 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:38,674 the soot won't really stick to it that easily. 93 00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:40,054 And even if it does, 94 00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:42,471 it's easy to clean off and wipe off. 95 00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:47,234 Not gonna lie. Pretty tired right now. 96 00:06:57,486 --> 00:07:00,109 I'm gonna take a break. I gotta warm my hands up. 97 00:07:21,958 --> 00:07:24,167 Haven't been stretching much. 98 00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:27,205 It's kinda tough to do when it's no good flat spot 99 00:07:27,308 --> 00:07:30,311 and you can't put your hands on the ground. 100 00:07:30,415 --> 00:07:32,693 Then I'll do... 101 00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:37,422 Just stretch the arms out. 102 00:07:37,526 --> 00:07:40,943 Pull the shoulders down. 103 00:07:41,046 --> 00:07:43,739 Tilt the neck a little bit. 104 00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:47,432 Reach the fingers out. Oh, yeah. 105 00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:53,714 Roll the wrist in circles. 106 00:07:53,818 --> 00:07:57,062 Roll the shoulders. 107 00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:58,961 Feel that open up the chest. 108 00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:01,481 Never been to a yoga class or anything, by the way. 109 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:08,695 But I've had girlfriends that do yoga, so. 110 00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:11,111 This is like that, right? 111 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:19,222 I'm putting a lot of work into this shelter right now, 112 00:08:19,326 --> 00:08:21,259 but it's a tough balance in my priorities 113 00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:23,295 between protecting myself from the elements 114 00:08:23,399 --> 00:08:25,125 with this shelter 115 00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:27,990 and trying to obtain all the meat that I need-- 116 00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:29,578 fatty meat, hopefully, 117 00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:31,200 to keep my weight up. 118 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:32,719 I'm getting fed. 119 00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:35,100 Got lots of hare... 120 00:08:35,204 --> 00:08:36,757 and that could probably keep me going, 121 00:08:36,861 --> 00:08:40,140 but it's not gonna keep me going while working hard. 122 00:08:42,694 --> 00:08:45,525 And from the beginning, I felt myself losing weight, 123 00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:47,630 and it doesn't seem to matter how much I eat. 124 00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:49,080 I'm definitely losing weight out here, 125 00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:50,771 and I'm expending a lot of energy, 126 00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:53,187 and it's starting to get tough. 127 00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:57,226 Either I get extreme fatigue or I get crampy. 128 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,608 All right, break time. 129 00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:04,440 It bothers me that I'm losing weight this early in the game. 130 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,304 There's gonna be constant work to do. 131 00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:07,754 I'm gonna have to cut up more trees and logs 132 00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:09,721 and haul brush to work on my shelter. 133 00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:12,310 And I feel like I'm sort of in a race against myself 134 00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:14,036 with this weakening body. 135 00:09:19,213 --> 00:09:20,974 Got some damn good-looking logs coming in, though. 136 00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:24,149 I've got three ready to go 137 00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:25,565 on top of what you see right here. 138 00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:30,673 So that's gonna get us up another...foot and a half. 139 00:09:32,468 --> 00:09:34,988 But as long as I can maintain the strength 140 00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:36,299 to get this shelter built 141 00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:37,956 and then keep bringing in enough food 142 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:40,925 to just maintain and stay warm, 143 00:09:41,028 --> 00:09:43,168 I don't think this is a problem for me. 144 00:10:41,813 --> 00:10:43,988 I'm feeling hungry last few days. 145 00:10:44,091 --> 00:10:46,749 I've been eating less and less fish, 146 00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:49,925 and I've been losing a lot of my body fat. 147 00:10:50,028 --> 00:10:51,927 I need some other game 148 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:55,793 so I can have a real stash of food for the long haul. 149 00:10:55,896 --> 00:10:57,622 'Cause I do have some fish, 150 00:10:57,726 --> 00:11:00,832 but how long will that last, you know? 151 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,011 Bunny tracks over here. 152 00:11:16,848 --> 00:11:18,781 When I was growing up in El Salvador, 153 00:11:18,885 --> 00:11:22,198 I will go to the countryside to snare iguanas, 154 00:11:22,302 --> 00:11:24,442 and that's when I started learning to hunt. 155 00:11:24,545 --> 00:11:26,755 So I wanna give it a try that way. 156 00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:46,844 Oh, somebody walked through here. 157 00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:49,985 That looks like a fox. 158 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,023 Right next to the shelter. 159 00:11:54,127 --> 00:11:55,162 That's not good. 160 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,752 There is a lot of competition in the area. 161 00:11:58,856 --> 00:12:00,858 There's a lot of animals that would love to get 162 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:03,619 their hands on my food. 163 00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:31,302 I don't have a spear, 164 00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:33,200 and it's one of the things that I wanted to do 165 00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,064 from the beginning. 166 00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:37,204 I wanna use it just in case a big predator 167 00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:39,034 is trying to get into my shelter. 168 00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:42,244 I could have at least a spear to hold them off, 169 00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:44,453 'cause anything can happen like that so quick, 170 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,524 and it's just seconds. 171 00:13:12,343 --> 00:13:14,379 I hear a rabbit in my snare. 172 00:13:15,622 --> 00:13:17,693 I gotta really hurry up. 173 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,765 I bet a fox right now is looking for it. 174 00:13:25,356 --> 00:13:26,806 Come on. 175 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,573 My first snare worked. 176 00:14:16,131 --> 00:14:19,203 Let's get in the shelter before... 177 00:14:19,306 --> 00:14:25,209 before we get another animal 178 00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:30,283 in here because of the crying sound of this guy. 179 00:14:30,386 --> 00:14:33,700 Somebody else might want my bunny. 180 00:14:33,803 --> 00:14:35,771 Like a fox. 181 00:14:43,296 --> 00:14:45,885 Wow, what a rush. 182 00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:50,648 My first snare. 183 00:14:50,751 --> 00:14:53,271 Yes! More food. 184 00:14:54,859 --> 00:14:57,137 More food, more days here. 185 00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:04,179 Wow. 186 00:15:24,889 --> 00:15:26,926 - Good morning. 187 00:15:29,376 --> 00:15:31,447 Guess what I'm chewing on. 188 00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:39,110 I like to chew on a little spruce, 189 00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:41,354 you know, and brush my teeth with it. 190 00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:50,984 It's great, and now my mouth feels fresh and clean. 191 00:15:51,088 --> 00:15:52,537 Thanks, spruce. 192 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,991 All right, clean mouth. Gotta start the day off right. 193 00:15:58,095 --> 00:16:00,200 Let's go on an adventure. 194 00:16:03,376 --> 00:16:04,791 I'm kinda curious to see 195 00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:07,725 if there's any fresh tracks around the lake. 196 00:16:07,828 --> 00:16:11,591 I'm catching a lot of rabbits, and I'm eating really well, 197 00:16:11,694 --> 00:16:15,215 but I'm still losing weight too. 198 00:16:15,319 --> 00:16:17,838 There's not a ton of fat on the rabbits 199 00:16:17,942 --> 00:16:19,323 and that's the thing I'm worried about, 200 00:16:19,426 --> 00:16:21,773 is not getting enough fat to eat. 201 00:16:23,603 --> 00:16:27,193 Having fat is necessary to make it to 100 days. 202 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:37,651 What do we got here? Some tracks. 203 00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:44,969 Okay, so I think this is my good friend Mr. Porcupine. 204 00:16:46,384 --> 00:16:48,766 Porcupines have a bunch of fat on them. 205 00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:51,596 This could help fuel me for the winter. 206 00:16:52,977 --> 00:16:54,185 Wait a minute. 207 00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:57,982 There is another line of tracks coming in. 208 00:16:58,086 --> 00:17:02,297 That is very interesting. 209 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:06,059 Check this out. Guess who else we got? 210 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:09,511 Wolf. 211 00:17:11,582 --> 00:17:15,965 So I really wanna track this porcupine, 212 00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:19,521 but we got a wolf going the same way. 213 00:17:19,624 --> 00:17:21,350 Hopefully, we can catch up to him. 214 00:17:22,731 --> 00:17:24,560 There's a lot of competition for food. 215 00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:26,493 All the animals around here wanna eat. 216 00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:30,187 So here we go. 217 00:17:35,364 --> 00:17:39,886 I gotta just make sure I'm not overlooking anything. 218 00:17:39,989 --> 00:17:41,267 Being out here, 219 00:17:41,370 --> 00:17:43,234 I feel like I've kind of dropped back 220 00:17:43,338 --> 00:17:44,477 into another time, 221 00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:47,583 and I think of the ancestors often 222 00:17:47,687 --> 00:17:50,103 now that it's getting cold 223 00:17:50,207 --> 00:17:52,071 and getting a little bit harder 224 00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:54,590 because I know that the ancestors 225 00:17:54,694 --> 00:17:57,283 went through some really hard times, 226 00:17:57,386 --> 00:17:59,250 but they made it through, 227 00:17:59,354 --> 00:18:01,528 and they didn't have a red button to push. 228 00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:05,429 They had to keep going. They give me so much strength. 229 00:18:05,532 --> 00:18:08,915 Yeah, the tracking's way harder in here. 230 00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:12,263 His tracks... 231 00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:19,028 just get totally covered up... 232 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,616 by all this rabbit. 233 00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:26,967 See, now, I don't see where a porcupine goes. 234 00:18:28,831 --> 00:18:30,281 Darn. 235 00:18:30,385 --> 00:18:33,181 I was really hopeful, but there's another porcupine, 236 00:18:33,284 --> 00:18:34,665 so I can come back up here 237 00:18:34,768 --> 00:18:36,874 and hope for some fresh tracks. 238 00:18:36,977 --> 00:18:38,289 And in the meantime, 239 00:18:38,393 --> 00:18:41,258 I'm just gonna set a few more snares up here. 240 00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:00,139 - I have some work to do today. 241 00:19:00,242 --> 00:19:04,695 It was late when madness happened outside. 242 00:20:37,408 --> 00:20:39,134 Fox. 243 00:21:08,094 --> 00:21:09,820 He's not afraid of me. 244 00:21:18,794 --> 00:21:21,625 Go away. Go away. 245 00:21:21,728 --> 00:21:22,764 Go away! ! 246 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,119 He don't care. 247 00:21:33,222 --> 00:21:36,605 Can't believe he walked just in front of me like nothing. 248 00:21:50,412 --> 00:21:53,415 Do not come back here. The bunny's mine. 249 00:21:54,865 --> 00:21:56,142 Whoo! He doesn't wanna go away. 250 00:21:56,245 --> 00:21:57,799 He knows that there's food here. 251 00:21:57,902 --> 00:22:00,008 He's coming this way now. 252 00:22:08,603 --> 00:22:11,916 Do not come back for my food over here. 253 00:22:13,573 --> 00:22:16,369 Come on, I'm telling you. 254 00:22:16,473 --> 00:22:19,476 Holy , man, this fox. 255 00:22:19,579 --> 00:22:22,099 Sorry guys, but I'm starting to feel 256 00:22:22,202 --> 00:22:25,136 like this fox might be a danger for me. 257 00:22:34,629 --> 00:22:36,907 That's right. 258 00:22:37,010 --> 00:22:38,909 You don't listen. 259 00:22:40,773 --> 00:22:42,706 Do not come back here. 260 00:22:47,227 --> 00:22:48,574 That was getting too close. 261 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,440 Yeah, I think that will deter the fox. 262 00:22:52,543 --> 00:22:55,270 Might make him a little more scared of humans. 263 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,066 Just surrounding me, stalking me like that-- 264 00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:00,137 that's too much. 265 00:23:41,937 --> 00:23:45,769 - 40 days is the longest 266 00:23:45,872 --> 00:23:49,842 I've been out in the wilderness. 267 00:23:50,705 --> 00:23:52,707 That was with Dave. 268 00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:57,505 Big difference, though, being alone. 269 00:23:57,608 --> 00:23:58,713 I don't like it. 270 00:24:03,821 --> 00:24:06,445 Dave and I have been married for eight years. 271 00:24:06,548 --> 00:24:09,724 We have created a homestead together. 272 00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:12,347 We do everything together. 273 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,833 It's what actually sparked us to start our business. 274 00:24:15,937 --> 00:24:18,215 Oh, I miss his hugs. 275 00:24:20,873 --> 00:24:24,048 Today I miss his hugs. 276 00:24:24,152 --> 00:24:27,189 So now, one of the most significant experiences 277 00:24:27,293 --> 00:24:30,020 in my life is without him. 278 00:24:30,123 --> 00:24:33,333 And that's a hard pill to swallow. 279 00:24:36,371 --> 00:24:39,581 Yeah, I just feel lonely. Just have to keep busy. 280 00:24:45,311 --> 00:24:48,072 Let's go and check the traps. 281 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:03,122 My whole story has been about 282 00:25:03,225 --> 00:25:06,435 failing at the moose, failing at the fish. 283 00:25:06,539 --> 00:25:10,405 Failing at the moose again, failing at the fish again. 284 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:14,167 Then sprinkle in a couple rabbits. 285 00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:19,414 My will-- my will is slipping. 286 00:25:22,555 --> 00:25:28,216 Okay. I'm back up to my snares. 287 00:25:52,136 --> 00:25:53,724 Damn it! 288 00:25:59,074 --> 00:26:02,112 Bad news. Someone found... 289 00:26:04,217 --> 00:26:06,150 Found my catch. 290 00:26:09,326 --> 00:26:11,121 Ugh! 291 00:26:14,434 --> 00:26:16,229 Damn it! 292 00:26:28,414 --> 00:26:31,037 Ugh, another one! 293 00:26:33,695 --> 00:26:36,664 Look. 294 00:26:36,767 --> 00:26:39,287 Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it? 295 00:26:41,530 --> 00:26:43,774 How serious this can be. 296 00:26:50,229 --> 00:26:53,508 I'm finding it hard to be motivated now. 297 00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:56,269 I don't have anyone here to hold my hand 298 00:26:56,373 --> 00:26:58,720 and anyone to tell me it's gonna be okay 299 00:26:58,824 --> 00:27:01,689 and anyone to show me the way. 300 00:27:01,792 --> 00:27:06,832 It's all me, and that's a scary thought. 301 00:27:08,799 --> 00:27:12,182 It's the first time that I actually want to be home. 302 00:27:13,804 --> 00:27:16,358 One bunny left. 303 00:27:17,981 --> 00:27:20,017 I really miss Dave. 304 00:27:37,276 --> 00:27:40,141 I know this is super weird, but... 305 00:27:43,006 --> 00:27:47,286 I'm just really a huggy person. 306 00:27:49,909 --> 00:27:52,429 I like to hold hands. 307 00:27:54,224 --> 00:27:55,881 I like to kiss. 308 00:27:55,984 --> 00:27:58,573 But here, the only time I've touched something living 309 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,402 is when I'm about to kill it. 310 00:28:03,543 --> 00:28:05,753 To have no... 311 00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:12,069 You know... 312 00:28:12,173 --> 00:28:16,384 no physical contact is, uh--it's just... 313 00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:18,213 it's like a... 314 00:28:22,908 --> 00:28:27,878 An emptiness that just sort of slowly appears. 315 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:36,335 And you realize, you know, something's missing. 316 00:29:05,226 --> 00:29:07,297 - Can't somebody invent a snagless zipper? 317 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,644 It's, like, one in five times I use a zipper, 318 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,680 it gets hung up on something. 319 00:29:11,784 --> 00:29:14,511 But it's nice to have this clean, dry rock 320 00:29:14,614 --> 00:29:16,444 to stand on for changing my clothes. 321 00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:19,723 Man, so much luxury in this space. 322 00:29:19,827 --> 00:29:22,484 Definitely wanna line my floor in big, flat stones like this. 323 00:29:22,588 --> 00:29:24,797 I'm gonna do that. That's my goal. 324 00:29:24,901 --> 00:29:27,696 Have the first shelter on "Alone" that requires a broom. 325 00:29:31,424 --> 00:29:32,909 Go out, check my snares again. 326 00:29:33,012 --> 00:29:35,359 Might have another hare. We'll see. 327 00:29:37,327 --> 00:29:40,606 Oh, we got a hare. 328 00:29:42,919 --> 00:29:44,575 This is a beautiful guy right here. 329 00:29:44,679 --> 00:29:48,096 Kind of ideal size. 330 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,753 All frozen up. 331 00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:55,138 I'm gonna throw this guy in my front pocket and take off. 332 00:29:58,486 --> 00:30:00,039 Oh, there's another hare. 333 00:30:00,143 --> 00:30:03,077 Holy smokes, it's still alive. 334 00:30:03,180 --> 00:30:06,874 Dang, that's not what I want. 335 00:30:10,291 --> 00:30:13,812 Sorry, dude, but thank you for your life. 336 00:30:27,273 --> 00:30:30,380 Hoo, another hare this morning. 337 00:30:32,244 --> 00:30:34,039 Unfortunately, another one that I'm gonna have to dispatch 338 00:30:34,142 --> 00:30:35,695 out here in the field. 339 00:30:35,799 --> 00:30:37,939 This isn't pretty. I don't like this part-- 340 00:30:38,043 --> 00:30:40,977 taking of a life-- but I'm extremely grateful, 341 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,910 and this is with purpose here. 342 00:30:43,013 --> 00:30:45,050 I do need to eat, and being able to put away 343 00:30:45,153 --> 00:30:48,467 more food is something that I feel very fortunate to do. 344 00:30:48,570 --> 00:30:50,262 All right, one last snare to check. 345 00:30:52,333 --> 00:30:55,232 And another hare. Holy moly. 346 00:30:59,512 --> 00:31:03,551 It's a four-hare day. Holy smokes. 347 00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:06,623 I think it's a lucky day. It's a beautiful, lucky day. 348 00:31:14,942 --> 00:31:16,978 I think there's a lot of wisdom in just consuming 349 00:31:17,082 --> 00:31:18,704 the nourishment that you have on hand 350 00:31:18,807 --> 00:31:20,464 and not trying to ration it out, 351 00:31:20,568 --> 00:31:22,950 and phrasing it as "keeping your momentum." 352 00:31:25,090 --> 00:31:26,954 I definitely gotta keep my momentum. 353 00:31:27,057 --> 00:31:28,265 Without my momentum, 354 00:31:28,369 --> 00:31:29,818 I don't think I'll keep bringing in food. 355 00:31:29,922 --> 00:31:32,614 I'll just start tapering off on all fronts. 356 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,490 Did I just hear a wolf? 357 00:31:51,219 --> 00:31:53,428 Can you hear that? 358 00:31:58,399 --> 00:32:00,159 Oh, . 359 00:32:02,575 --> 00:32:05,544 That just unleashed, like, so many potentials of, like, 360 00:32:05,647 --> 00:32:07,960 what other mysteries lie out here for me. 361 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,033 I wonder if I should be scared of wolves-- 362 00:32:12,137 --> 00:32:14,311 scared of wolves coming and trying to get my bunnies. 363 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,595 Thinking about dealing with the predators, 364 00:32:22,699 --> 00:32:23,872 there's a potential that they could be 365 00:32:23,976 --> 00:32:25,874 a threat to my safety. 366 00:32:25,978 --> 00:32:28,291 But the best thing I can do is just cross that bridge 367 00:32:28,394 --> 00:32:29,878 when you come to it, and if you have to, 368 00:32:29,982 --> 00:32:32,329 you take down that animal. 369 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,989 I'm gonna have a hard time killing a wolf, 370 00:32:37,093 --> 00:32:38,922 except in a moment of desperation 371 00:32:39,026 --> 00:32:40,889 or maybe for $1 million. 372 00:33:04,085 --> 00:33:05,604 - Man, I had a [bleep] up dream 373 00:33:05,707 --> 00:33:08,607 that I woke up from a little while ago. 374 00:33:08,710 --> 00:33:12,093 It was about the drag races, which I do with my dad. 375 00:33:12,197 --> 00:33:16,580 For some reason, the track was set up so the finish line 376 00:33:16,684 --> 00:33:18,272 was at the end where the spectators are, 377 00:33:18,375 --> 00:33:19,928 which is never the case. 378 00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:22,931 And I was there with, like, all the "Alone" participants, 379 00:33:23,035 --> 00:33:25,313 who were talking about, like, whether they could make it. 380 00:33:27,453 --> 00:33:30,008 'Cause it's very possible that no one makes it 100 days. 381 00:33:33,528 --> 00:33:37,532 Is not trying worth giving up $1 million? 382 00:33:37,636 --> 00:33:39,017 No. 383 00:33:43,538 --> 00:33:45,057 The thing I think I'd be most proud to finish 384 00:33:45,161 --> 00:33:46,610 is this shelter. 385 00:33:46,714 --> 00:33:48,543 Like, if I'm gonna finish one thing out here 386 00:33:48,647 --> 00:33:50,649 before it gets really, really cold and windy 387 00:33:50,752 --> 00:33:52,927 and that lake's frozen, it's gotta be that. 388 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,517 But whatever the opposite of energized is-- 389 00:33:56,620 --> 00:33:59,761 spent, pooped, bushed, whatever that is-- 390 00:33:59,865 --> 00:34:02,350 I'm feeling it, man. 391 00:34:02,454 --> 00:34:04,628 Not too much higher to go on this little side. 392 00:34:07,493 --> 00:34:08,667 Oh, that sucks. 393 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:10,945 I can just feel it. 394 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:12,602 My stomach is taking so long 395 00:34:12,705 --> 00:34:15,950 to digest these protein-rich meals that I'm trying to eat. 396 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,917 And I go out and feel like I should be energized, 397 00:34:18,021 --> 00:34:19,057 and I just crash. 398 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,063 Oh, yup. 399 00:34:26,650 --> 00:34:30,309 Legs are wobbly again. What's going on? 400 00:34:30,413 --> 00:34:31,690 My stomach's, like... 401 00:34:35,694 --> 00:34:38,973 "You should lay down." 402 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:42,563 Oh, the change is occurring. 403 00:34:42,666 --> 00:34:45,842 I'm becoming lethargic. 404 00:34:45,945 --> 00:34:47,361 It's what I am. 405 00:34:49,708 --> 00:34:52,297 At this point, I'm attributing it to the hare 406 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,438 takes energy from me while I'm digesting it, 407 00:34:55,541 --> 00:34:58,130 which I think is a pretty safe hypothesis. 408 00:35:01,651 --> 00:35:04,171 I've got a lot of hard work to do here. 409 00:35:04,274 --> 00:35:05,724 It's, like, if I don't have the energy 410 00:35:05,827 --> 00:35:08,416 to do that effectively, I just can't do it. 411 00:35:10,142 --> 00:35:11,488 That's the bottom line. 412 00:35:11,592 --> 00:35:15,423 And that's not a scenario that I think is viable. 413 00:35:41,277 --> 00:35:43,313 - Hands are warmed up. 414 00:35:43,417 --> 00:35:44,659 Toes are cold. 415 00:35:46,282 --> 00:35:48,836 Exercise the toes. 416 00:35:48,939 --> 00:35:52,909 We're doing toe exercises right now. 417 00:35:53,012 --> 00:35:56,464 And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four. 418 00:35:56,568 --> 00:35:58,156 And a one, and a two, 419 00:35:58,259 --> 00:36:00,537 and a three, and a four. 420 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,887 , you going insane out here. 421 00:36:10,789 --> 00:36:13,550 Fixing my shelter took a lot of energy. 422 00:36:16,381 --> 00:36:18,659 My body is just shot. 423 00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:20,833 I feel tired for everything. 424 00:36:25,424 --> 00:36:28,220 It has been so much work. 425 00:36:28,324 --> 00:36:31,119 I mean, it's got its rewards. Don't get me wrong. 426 00:36:31,223 --> 00:36:34,916 Looking at my home right now, that makes me happy. 427 00:36:35,020 --> 00:36:37,195 But nobody to talk to. 428 00:36:37,298 --> 00:36:39,024 You're sitting out here; you start wondering. 429 00:36:39,127 --> 00:36:43,235 You're like, "Why? Why am I doing this?" 430 00:36:43,339 --> 00:36:47,826 And my reasoning for doing this 431 00:36:47,929 --> 00:36:49,690 is to not quit. 432 00:36:49,793 --> 00:36:55,282 But every single stinking day is rough. 433 00:36:55,385 --> 00:36:56,938 Man, I'm tired! 434 00:37:01,184 --> 00:37:05,395 So I've noticed that I keep getting more and more hungry. 435 00:37:06,810 --> 00:37:09,675 And I have food. And I'm starving. 436 00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:10,883 But I'm hungry. I don't know. 437 00:37:10,987 --> 00:37:13,748 It's just, like, I can't stop the hunger. 438 00:37:13,852 --> 00:37:15,854 And to kinda put it into perspective for you, 439 00:37:15,957 --> 00:37:18,546 for breakfast, I had fish. 440 00:37:18,650 --> 00:37:20,065 I had dried fish. 441 00:37:21,653 --> 00:37:23,793 An entire fillet. 442 00:37:23,896 --> 00:37:28,729 Like, an entire side of a fish, not just a fillet. 443 00:37:30,524 --> 00:37:32,526 I've tried to ration things out. 444 00:37:33,941 --> 00:37:35,908 And I keep eating. And I keep eating. 445 00:37:36,012 --> 00:37:37,220 And I keep eating. 446 00:37:37,324 --> 00:37:39,222 And it's, like, I can't get enough. 447 00:37:40,603 --> 00:37:43,053 So it's not a good situation. 448 00:37:43,157 --> 00:37:44,952 I've had to think about it a lot, obviously, 449 00:37:45,055 --> 00:37:48,335 and I'm, like, "Whew, come on, come on. 450 00:37:48,438 --> 00:37:50,889 Get your head in the game. Get your head in the game." 451 00:37:50,992 --> 00:37:53,616 All it takes is all you get, but... 452 00:37:56,722 --> 00:37:59,449 I'm not sure I'm willing to give it everything that I have 453 00:37:59,553 --> 00:38:01,486 to be able to stay out here. 454 00:38:03,626 --> 00:38:06,007 And it's the-- it sounds bad, right? 455 00:38:06,111 --> 00:38:07,595 It sounds real bad. 456 00:38:07,699 --> 00:38:09,287 This whole thing is, "Hey, don't quit. 457 00:38:09,390 --> 00:38:10,426 Don't quit." 458 00:38:10,529 --> 00:38:12,220 But... 459 00:38:18,537 --> 00:38:19,711 You miss everything. 460 00:38:21,713 --> 00:38:25,855 Everything that you want, you already have. 461 00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:29,859 That's a good feeling. 462 00:38:31,654 --> 00:38:33,241 So I don't know. 463 00:38:33,345 --> 00:38:34,898 Tomorrow, I'm hoping, is gonna be better, 464 00:38:35,002 --> 00:38:36,590 and we'll see what happens. 465 00:38:36,693 --> 00:38:37,556 One day at a time. 466 00:38:50,776 --> 00:38:55,263 - I can see why people die of a lonely heart. 467 00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:58,474 Day 100, it just seems so far off. 468 00:39:03,306 --> 00:39:05,204 - I am eating more. I'm eating a lot. 469 00:39:05,308 --> 00:39:07,379 I'm eating basically as much as I have time 470 00:39:07,483 --> 00:39:11,003 to process in a day, but I have to reckon with 471 00:39:11,107 --> 00:39:14,559 the potential reality that I don't have a high likelihood 472 00:39:14,662 --> 00:39:17,596 of being the last person standing out here. 473 00:39:20,496 --> 00:39:23,015 I know my body really well. And I push my body. 474 00:39:23,119 --> 00:39:24,810 And this is getting to the point 475 00:39:24,914 --> 00:39:26,881 where I'm actually worried about my health. 476 00:39:26,985 --> 00:39:28,883 Coming out here and pushing my body 477 00:39:28,987 --> 00:39:31,679 to a point where I may do harm to myself, 478 00:39:31,783 --> 00:39:33,405 that's putting my pride over my son. 479 00:39:59,742 --> 00:40:01,433 - You guys aren't disappointed, are you? 480 00:40:04,609 --> 00:40:06,265 Hi. 481 00:40:06,369 --> 00:40:09,959 I've been feeling myself getting smaller and weaker, 482 00:40:10,062 --> 00:40:11,547 and the days have gotten difficult. 483 00:40:11,650 --> 00:40:15,136 And I just feel my body isn't getting what it needs 484 00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:17,173 to be all it can be, and I wanna be-- 485 00:40:17,276 --> 00:40:19,658 I wanna be 100% me, so. 486 00:40:19,762 --> 00:40:21,660 I wanna walk away in good health, 487 00:40:21,764 --> 00:40:25,077 and I wanna come home to my family and friends whole. 488 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,425 You know? 489 00:40:27,528 --> 00:40:29,150 With or without a bunch of money. 490 00:40:32,291 --> 00:40:35,467 I of course love the idea of leaving victorious 491 00:40:35,571 --> 00:40:37,676 with, you know, my best buds showing up 492 00:40:37,780 --> 00:40:39,506 and congratulating me on winning 493 00:40:39,609 --> 00:40:42,612 and maybe $1 million richer. 494 00:40:42,716 --> 00:40:45,201 I really think that the way I was building my shelter 495 00:40:45,304 --> 00:40:47,790 was the way to do it in the long run, 496 00:40:47,893 --> 00:40:49,136 but I needed more fuel 497 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,242 to power myself through that project. 498 00:40:52,346 --> 00:40:55,729 But I'm just working with what seems realistic right now, 499 00:40:55,832 --> 00:40:57,696 and I'm not gonna be the guy that comes out here 500 00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,871 who's just so full of pride that I'm just gonna try 501 00:40:59,974 --> 00:41:03,530 to push through real physical hardship to the point 502 00:41:03,633 --> 00:41:04,565 of doing myself harm. 503 00:41:04,669 --> 00:41:05,566 I'm just not gonna do that. 504 00:41:33,387 --> 00:41:35,285 - There's a lot of good books 505 00:41:35,389 --> 00:41:37,322 written about northern Labrador. 506 00:41:37,425 --> 00:41:39,358 It makes you--it's a-- 507 00:41:39,462 --> 00:41:42,051 makes you romanticize going there... 508 00:41:44,156 --> 00:41:46,849 if you like that sort of hardship. 509 00:41:51,716 --> 00:41:53,890 Actually, there's a book called 510 00:41:53,994 --> 00:41:56,410 "The Lure of the Labrador Wild." 511 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:59,620 It's how we got our name for our company, 512 00:41:59,724 --> 00:42:01,277 Lure of the North. 513 00:42:03,590 --> 00:42:05,764 That's how we feel about the north. 514 00:42:05,868 --> 00:42:07,663 It has this pull. 515 00:42:07,766 --> 00:42:10,251 It'll bite your head off if you're not careful, 516 00:42:10,355 --> 00:42:16,223 but it'll also provide for you what you need. 517 00:42:21,193 --> 00:42:23,402 I gotta keep pushing today. 518 00:42:23,506 --> 00:42:25,232 Kinda running low on energy, 519 00:42:25,335 --> 00:42:28,580 but it takes energy to make energy. 520 00:42:28,684 --> 00:42:31,618 Despite all my talk about being lonely, 521 00:42:31,721 --> 00:42:34,172 I think I just need to just come to terms 522 00:42:34,275 --> 00:42:36,484 with what I was feeling. 523 00:42:36,588 --> 00:42:40,350 And I'm just going through a moment, that's all. 524 00:42:53,536 --> 00:42:55,952 Hmm. 525 00:42:58,299 --> 00:43:00,439 Is that a bunny? What is that? 526 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,202 That's excellent. I got a rabbit. 527 00:43:05,686 --> 00:43:09,138 Means there's still alive bunnies around. 528 00:43:10,484 --> 00:43:12,348 Good start to the day. 529 00:43:12,451 --> 00:43:15,489 So I've been thinking about stoicism. 530 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:19,079 Specifically, stoicism is about action, 531 00:43:19,182 --> 00:43:21,633 and it's about setting yourself up 532 00:43:21,737 --> 00:43:23,531 to overcome obstacles 533 00:43:23,635 --> 00:43:27,466 and then having the will to endure and persist. 534 00:43:28,985 --> 00:43:30,366 Whoa. 535 00:43:30,469 --> 00:43:32,644 All right, guys. I came across another one. 536 00:43:33,818 --> 00:43:35,854 That's two for the day. 537 00:43:35,958 --> 00:43:38,408 All right, all right. 538 00:43:38,512 --> 00:43:42,861 And to try everything that you can to overcome the obstacle, 539 00:43:42,965 --> 00:43:47,728 and if you can't, then see the good in the bad. 540 00:43:47,832 --> 00:43:50,973 Ay, caramba. I get another one. 541 00:43:51,076 --> 00:43:54,355 Holy shmoly. That's three today. 542 00:43:54,459 --> 00:43:57,220 Very grateful. 543 00:43:57,324 --> 00:43:59,222 Really grateful. 544 00:43:59,326 --> 00:44:01,949 And that, to me, is stoicism. 545 00:44:06,574 --> 00:44:08,853 Good day on the line. 546 00:44:14,237 --> 00:44:15,618 Three bunnies. 547 00:44:17,309 --> 00:44:20,140 Let's skin a rabbit. 548 00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:23,212 Nice amount of stomach fat on this one. 549 00:44:23,315 --> 00:44:26,422 That's nothing to scoff at. You see all that? 550 00:44:26,525 --> 00:44:28,217 It's quite a bit. 551 00:44:31,323 --> 00:44:33,015 Hopefully that means good things 552 00:44:33,118 --> 00:44:36,639 for the arms and behind the shoulders. 553 00:44:36,743 --> 00:44:41,713 Just trying to keep all the fat on this body, not the skin. 554 00:44:41,817 --> 00:44:44,647 There's still hope for me, guys. 555 00:45:10,362 --> 00:45:13,365 - Do you guys ever, like, talk to yourselves? 556 00:45:13,469 --> 00:45:15,678 What I mean by that is, like, 557 00:45:15,782 --> 00:45:18,025 "Man, what do I gotta do today? Okay, I gotta do this. 558 00:45:18,129 --> 00:45:21,615 Gotta do that. Da-da-da." 559 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,066 Right? You talk to yourself. 560 00:45:24,169 --> 00:45:26,758 I do that all the time. 561 00:45:28,864 --> 00:45:33,661 But yesterday, I'm sitting there... 562 00:45:37,217 --> 00:45:39,598 And I was, like, arguing with myself. 563 00:45:45,328 --> 00:45:47,123 And you're, like, "Hmm, is that normal?" 564 00:45:47,227 --> 00:45:49,022 I don't know. 565 00:45:51,231 --> 00:45:52,957 But I bet everybody that goes insane 566 00:45:53,060 --> 00:45:55,683 thinks they're sane, right? 567 00:46:05,383 --> 00:46:06,902 I'm doing this for Max, 568 00:46:07,005 --> 00:46:10,146 but been miserable for quite a long time out here, 569 00:46:10,250 --> 00:46:12,597 and I'm trying to stay happy about it, 570 00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:15,082 but when you catch yourself talking to yourself 571 00:46:15,186 --> 00:46:17,844 a little bit too much and you're just not smiling 572 00:46:17,947 --> 00:46:20,950 and not having fun, it wears on you. 573 00:46:23,366 --> 00:46:26,714 Max, man, this is rough. 574 00:46:26,818 --> 00:46:29,683 And I'm sorry, 575 00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,823 but buddy, I'm coming home to see you. 576 00:46:31,927 --> 00:46:34,550 And I'm not sorry about that. 577 00:46:40,107 --> 00:46:42,109 Hey, this is Mark, 578 00:46:42,213 --> 00:46:45,492 and, uh, I'm officially tapping out. 579 00:46:53,914 --> 00:46:56,537 Fox. 580 00:46:56,641 --> 00:46:58,022 You coming to thank me? 581 00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:01,922 You coming to thank me for letting you go? 582 00:47:03,475 --> 00:47:05,132 Yeah, you're welcome. 583 00:47:06,547 --> 00:47:10,241 Did a lot of good things, and I'm tired. 584 00:47:11,725 --> 00:47:13,313 I'll let the fox have the rabbits. 585 00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:19,664 Hey, that way. 586 00:47:19,767 --> 00:47:21,045 Keep heading west. 587 00:47:23,081 --> 00:47:26,567 Well, here it is. 588 00:47:32,263 --> 00:47:34,472 Bittersweet moment to see you guys. 589 00:47:35,887 --> 00:47:38,786 This experience has been, for me, 590 00:47:38,890 --> 00:47:40,650 what with Max, 591 00:47:40,754 --> 00:47:42,860 there's a lot of things I'm missing, that I missed. 592 00:47:42,963 --> 00:47:44,240 Him walking for the first time; 593 00:47:44,344 --> 00:47:45,552 him talking, saying different things. 594 00:47:45,655 --> 00:47:46,898 'Cause at his age, 595 00:47:47,002 --> 00:47:49,349 it's been a struggle to be away from everything. 596 00:47:54,354 --> 00:47:56,632 The whole reason why I'm doing this was to show my son 597 00:47:56,735 --> 00:47:59,669 what it's like to do something really hard and not quit. 598 00:47:59,773 --> 00:48:03,259 But I want my son to know that it is okay to quit something 599 00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:05,054 when you are worried about your health. 600 00:48:05,158 --> 00:48:09,196 You gotta be smart enough to know when to call it. 601 00:48:09,300 --> 00:48:11,371 Push yourself as hard as you can, 602 00:48:11,474 --> 00:48:14,684 and then make sure that you're happy with your decision. 603 00:48:16,686 --> 00:48:18,481 I remember saying when I came out here, 604 00:48:18,585 --> 00:48:20,069 "I'd rather die than quit." 605 00:48:20,173 --> 00:48:21,105 No, I wouldn't. 606 00:48:22,485 --> 00:48:23,486 I'd rather live. 607 00:48:27,456 --> 00:48:30,908 I wanna go back and appreciate all the little things 608 00:48:31,011 --> 00:48:32,633 I never appreciated before. 609 00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,223 Pain, misery, and suffering. 610 00:48:36,327 --> 00:48:38,329 I've dealt with it enough. 611 00:48:38,432 --> 00:48:40,538 I'm done. 612 00:49:24,823 --> 00:49:26,894 - Trick or treat! 613 00:49:28,793 --> 00:49:33,453 I'm a porcupine! 614 00:49:33,556 --> 00:49:35,524 Happy Halloween. 615 00:49:35,627 --> 00:49:40,529 I'm honoring-- honoring the porcupine, 616 00:49:40,632 --> 00:49:43,946 because that is who first greeted me here 617 00:49:44,050 --> 00:49:46,293 and gave me food to eat on this land, 618 00:49:46,397 --> 00:49:49,365 so I'm a porcupine for Halloween. 619 00:49:53,369 --> 00:49:57,580 Good evening and happy Halloween. 620 00:49:57,684 --> 00:50:01,929 So I'm burning an outside fire to celebrate the ancestors, 621 00:50:02,033 --> 00:50:04,518 and I'm having an ancestor feast. 622 00:50:04,622 --> 00:50:06,658 I'm putting a whole rabbit in the pot. 623 00:50:06,762 --> 00:50:10,455 I'm gonna eat this whole rabbit tonight. 624 00:50:10,559 --> 00:50:14,632 No porcupine, but I'm so thankful for the rabbits. 625 00:50:14,735 --> 00:50:18,015 Just really taking care of me in a big way. 626 00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:23,261 To me, Halloween's, like, a celebration 627 00:50:23,365 --> 00:50:26,782 of the life-death cycle, and honoring all the ancestors 628 00:50:26,885 --> 00:50:29,302 and all the ones that have passed. 629 00:50:31,821 --> 00:50:33,961 And death has been a pretty big part of my life 630 00:50:34,065 --> 00:50:37,241 because two of my brothers have died. 631 00:50:37,344 --> 00:50:39,415 So it's, like, whatever you lose 632 00:50:39,519 --> 00:50:41,348 you don't take it for granted anymore, 633 00:50:41,452 --> 00:50:44,213 and I just love my family so much. 634 00:50:44,317 --> 00:50:46,871 And they're on my mind today. 635 00:50:46,974 --> 00:50:49,736 Connecting to the rabbits, to the porcupine, 636 00:50:49,839 --> 00:50:52,635 to my brothers, and all my friends and family 637 00:50:52,739 --> 00:50:55,259 that have passed on and all my ancestors 638 00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:56,674 that I haven't met before. 639 00:51:03,612 --> 00:51:06,028 It's such a powerful realization, you know? 640 00:51:06,132 --> 00:51:08,548 Like, there's all these conveniences, 641 00:51:08,651 --> 00:51:09,859 and they're all nice, 642 00:51:09,963 --> 00:51:11,999 but there's something missing from it. 643 00:51:12,103 --> 00:51:15,106 And that thing that's missing is right here. 644 00:51:15,210 --> 00:51:17,764 It's a connection. It's a relationship. 645 00:51:17,867 --> 00:51:19,041 It's a depth. 646 00:51:19,145 --> 00:51:21,285 And it's here, and it's in this rabbit, 647 00:51:21,388 --> 00:51:23,701 and it's in this fire, and it's in this land. 648 00:51:23,804 --> 00:51:26,945 And I feel more free than I've ever felt 649 00:51:27,049 --> 00:51:28,809 because I get to do what I love. 650 00:51:28,913 --> 00:51:30,397 I love my family, 651 00:51:30,501 --> 00:51:33,193 but I'm loving this alone time, you know? 652 00:51:33,297 --> 00:51:36,093 I just know that the longer I am away, 653 00:51:36,196 --> 00:51:38,474 the sweeter it's gonna be when I see them again. 654 00:51:38,578 --> 00:51:41,512 Because this is an opportunity to go deep. 655 00:51:44,653 --> 00:51:48,035 Deeper into the wild, deeper into myself, 656 00:51:48,139 --> 00:51:50,969 and I want to suck the marrow out of that. 657 00:51:51,073 --> 00:51:53,040 I wanna go as deep as I can. 658 00:52:01,704 --> 00:52:04,224 All right, that looks like a good dinner to me. 659 00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:10,092 We are having a party tonight. Oh, yeah. 660 00:52:10,196 --> 00:52:12,819 I got so many people that I love and care about, 661 00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:15,132 and I wanna do good for them. 662 00:52:15,235 --> 00:52:17,858 The prize money, it wouldn't just benefit me. 663 00:52:17,962 --> 00:52:20,240 It'd benefit my family, 664 00:52:20,344 --> 00:52:22,863 my friends. 665 00:52:22,967 --> 00:52:25,556 I just can't say it enough. 666 00:52:25,659 --> 00:52:28,766 I am just getting started out here. 667 00:52:39,086 --> 00:52:41,468 - Welcome to "Alone: Tales from the Arctic." 668 00:52:41,572 --> 00:52:42,883 I'm Colby Donaldson, 669 00:52:42,987 --> 00:52:44,678 here with Mark, Callie, Joe, 670 00:52:44,782 --> 00:52:46,646 Amós, and Kielyn. 671 00:52:46,749 --> 00:52:48,613 There is so much to discuss. 672 00:52:48,717 --> 00:52:50,719 Two tap outs. Wolves. 673 00:52:50,822 --> 00:52:53,963 Amós and his run-in with a fox--but first, Mark. 674 00:52:54,067 --> 00:52:55,965 Let's talk about that shelter fire. 675 00:52:56,069 --> 00:52:57,450 - And so, I look up. 676 00:52:57,553 --> 00:52:59,176 I see my shelter's on fire. 677 00:52:59,279 --> 00:53:01,661 And I'd like to turn around 678 00:53:01,764 --> 00:53:03,076 and just start being able to fight it immediately, 679 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,389 but I grab the camera, I get to my door, 680 00:53:05,492 --> 00:53:07,805 finally get it untied, get outside. 681 00:53:07,908 --> 00:53:09,945 So I chuck the camera in the snow, 682 00:53:10,048 --> 00:53:11,222 and luckily, I got a good enough angle. 683 00:53:11,326 --> 00:53:13,224 You guys could kinda see what was going on. 684 00:53:13,328 --> 00:53:14,294 - Yep. 685 00:53:14,398 --> 00:53:16,227 - This is not happening. 686 00:53:16,331 --> 00:53:20,127 Go burn somewhere else, bitch! 687 00:53:20,231 --> 00:53:23,027 - Mark, at one point, you said, 688 00:53:23,130 --> 00:53:24,753 "That would've been my story." 689 00:53:24,856 --> 00:53:26,341 Specifically what did you mean by that? 690 00:53:26,444 --> 00:53:29,102 - If it goes up and all my equipment's in there, 691 00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:30,862 I would not have been able to continue on, 692 00:53:30,966 --> 00:53:32,830 especially my safety equipment. 693 00:53:32,933 --> 00:53:35,419 Stuff like this is still smoldering. 694 00:53:35,522 --> 00:53:36,903 So that would've been my story. 695 00:53:37,006 --> 00:53:38,215 I would've been done at day 40. 696 00:53:38,318 --> 00:53:39,837 - Yeah. 697 00:53:39,940 --> 00:53:42,322 Callie, you're really starting to see signs of predators. 698 00:53:42,426 --> 00:53:44,738 You know, in the porcupine tracks, 699 00:53:44,842 --> 00:53:46,602 there are wolf tracks following those. 700 00:53:46,706 --> 00:53:49,916 Is it any coincidence that you were starting to see 701 00:53:50,019 --> 00:53:52,298 more competition for the food at this point? 702 00:53:52,401 --> 00:53:54,300 - I don't think it's a coincidence. 703 00:53:54,403 --> 00:53:56,474 Winter's really coming on strong, 704 00:53:56,578 --> 00:53:59,270 so all the wild animals are feeling that pressure. 705 00:53:59,374 --> 00:54:02,377 They all know how much work it takes 706 00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:04,965 to be able to stay there for the arctic winter. 707 00:54:05,069 --> 00:54:07,692 And they wanna get all the food that they can, 708 00:54:07,796 --> 00:54:10,419 so it's no surprise that we're all seeing 709 00:54:10,523 --> 00:54:13,250 more and more sign of predators. 710 00:54:13,353 --> 00:54:16,391 - Amós, that was a pretty bold fox 711 00:54:16,494 --> 00:54:17,806 you had an encounter with there. 712 00:54:17,909 --> 00:54:19,117 Talk us through that. 713 00:54:19,221 --> 00:54:20,602 Tell us what was going on in your head 714 00:54:20,705 --> 00:54:22,293 just with his behavior. 715 00:54:22,397 --> 00:54:23,708 You know, he didn't-- he didn't seem 716 00:54:23,812 --> 00:54:25,814 very frightened of you, that's for sure. 717 00:54:30,681 --> 00:54:34,685 But the fox and everybody else out there is looking for food. 718 00:54:34,788 --> 00:54:37,619 And he knew there was a fresh kill on-site. 719 00:54:37,722 --> 00:54:40,104 So I didn't want the fox to just stick around. 720 00:54:40,207 --> 00:54:44,004 I seen examples of previous participants 721 00:54:44,108 --> 00:54:47,318 losing a lot of their food to animals like the fox. 722 00:54:47,422 --> 00:54:48,630 - Yeah, that little bunny buster 723 00:54:48,733 --> 00:54:50,079 put a pretty good wall up on him. 724 00:54:50,183 --> 00:54:52,185 I mean, he went down there for a second. 725 00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:54,532 I think he's gonna remember that shot for sure. 726 00:54:54,636 --> 00:54:56,672 - I told you that was going to hurt. 727 00:54:56,776 --> 00:54:59,330 You don't listen. 728 00:54:59,434 --> 00:55:02,540 - Kie, you were also experiencing animals wanting 729 00:55:02,644 --> 00:55:05,578 and ultimately taking some of your rabbits from the snares. 730 00:55:05,681 --> 00:55:07,131 How frustrating is that? 731 00:55:07,234 --> 00:55:08,891 - Yeah, I was actually surprised 732 00:55:08,995 --> 00:55:10,617 that it hadn't happened sooner. 733 00:55:10,721 --> 00:55:12,861 I had over 200 snares 734 00:55:12,964 --> 00:55:15,139 out on my line. 735 00:55:15,242 --> 00:55:19,695 And thankfully, I had a rabbit back at camp already. 736 00:55:19,799 --> 00:55:20,903 - Yeah. 737 00:55:21,007 --> 00:55:22,664 There was a moment there which was 738 00:55:22,767 --> 00:55:24,942 one of the most vivid explanations 739 00:55:25,045 --> 00:55:28,463 and really hit home for me and I'm sure many other viewers 740 00:55:28,566 --> 00:55:31,742 when you described life out there and you said, 741 00:55:31,845 --> 00:55:34,158 the only time you touch something living 742 00:55:34,261 --> 00:55:35,608 is right before you kill it. 743 00:55:35,711 --> 00:55:38,542 How does that affect you mentally and emotionally 744 00:55:38,645 --> 00:55:40,129 in a situation like that? 745 00:55:40,233 --> 00:55:42,649 - I'm very much all about connection-- 746 00:55:42,753 --> 00:55:45,411 connection with the land, the animals, 747 00:55:45,514 --> 00:55:47,930 and people, and... 748 00:55:48,034 --> 00:55:51,175 I was feeling like I needed someone to talk to 749 00:55:51,278 --> 00:55:53,350 besides the camera, and, um, 750 00:55:53,453 --> 00:55:57,561 the bunny just, you know, reminded me so much of my cat. 751 00:55:57,664 --> 00:56:02,359 And, you know, just holding that paw of that bunny 752 00:56:02,462 --> 00:56:05,189 was some sort of comfort for me. 753 00:56:05,292 --> 00:56:06,397 - Right. 754 00:56:06,501 --> 00:56:08,986 Okay, Joe, at this point in the episode, 755 00:56:09,089 --> 00:56:12,230 clearly, the lack of progress with your shelter 756 00:56:12,334 --> 00:56:13,991 is beginning to weigh on you a little bit. 757 00:56:14,094 --> 00:56:16,580 At what point did you realize that you might've 758 00:56:16,683 --> 00:56:19,306 made a mistake in terms of that balancing act-- 759 00:56:19,410 --> 00:56:21,930 you know, taking a little bit more time to build the shelter 760 00:56:22,033 --> 00:56:23,690 than maybe you should have? 761 00:56:23,794 --> 00:56:26,452 - I think as I--my energy level started to decline, 762 00:56:26,555 --> 00:56:28,281 I really recognized that carrying around 763 00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:31,318 these heavy logs wasn't as tenable of an option 764 00:56:31,422 --> 00:56:33,079 as it had been earlier on. 765 00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:34,839 - I know hindsight's 20/20, 766 00:56:34,943 --> 00:56:37,290 but if you had to do it all over again, 767 00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,775 is there anything you would've done differently? 768 00:56:39,879 --> 00:56:42,364 - You know, if I could shift a few things around timewise, 769 00:56:42,468 --> 00:56:45,125 I would've liked to have gotten my gillnet in the water 770 00:56:45,229 --> 00:56:47,507 and stockpiled more food. 771 00:56:47,611 --> 00:56:49,682 But if I could do it all over again, 772 00:56:49,785 --> 00:56:51,200 I don't think my decisions 773 00:56:51,304 --> 00:56:52,995 would've been that much different. 774 00:56:53,099 --> 00:56:55,929 And I think that deciding to leave when I did 775 00:56:56,033 --> 00:56:57,655 was the right choice for me. 776 00:56:57,759 --> 00:56:59,070 - All these months later, 777 00:56:59,174 --> 00:57:02,177 are you still at peace with your decision to tap out? 778 00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,731 - I'm at peace with it-- I mean, I definitely 779 00:57:04,835 --> 00:57:06,457 have played the "should've would've could've" game, 780 00:57:06,561 --> 00:57:09,495 but ultimately, when I decided to leave, 781 00:57:09,598 --> 00:57:11,082 what played the biggest part in that 782 00:57:11,186 --> 00:57:13,464 was not wanting to fully deplete myself. 783 00:57:13,568 --> 00:57:19,056 - Well, we were glad to have you on the show. 784 00:57:19,159 --> 00:57:21,058 Mark, 40-some odd days in, and you're starting to note 785 00:57:21,161 --> 00:57:22,818 that you're getting a little crazy out there. 786 00:57:22,922 --> 00:57:24,475 Shed some light on that. 787 00:57:24,579 --> 00:57:26,615 - The longer you're out there, the more 788 00:57:26,719 --> 00:57:29,376 you're just gonna be yourself and you joke around more. 789 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,275 But when I caught myself arguing with myself, 790 00:57:31,378 --> 00:57:32,690 I was like, pshh, stop. 791 00:57:32,794 --> 00:57:34,968 Let me think about this. Okay, that's not right. 792 00:57:35,072 --> 00:57:36,625 I'm gonna stop cussing. 793 00:57:36,729 --> 00:57:39,214 They wanna--you're a good man. 794 00:57:39,317 --> 00:57:42,286 Except when my shelter catches on fire. 795 00:57:44,012 --> 00:57:45,703 What the ? 796 00:57:45,807 --> 00:57:48,775 - Callie, any psychological effects starting to-- 797 00:57:48,879 --> 00:57:51,778 to weigh in or take effect on you at this point? 798 00:57:51,882 --> 00:57:53,297 40-some odd days in? 799 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:56,645 - Oh, yeah, but I would say it's a positive one, 800 00:57:56,749 --> 00:57:58,475 and one that I would welcome. 801 00:57:58,578 --> 00:58:02,202 It was a huge transformative process, 802 00:58:02,306 --> 00:58:04,929 and I feel like it takes about that long 803 00:58:05,033 --> 00:58:08,208 to start dropping into that mental space. 804 00:58:08,312 --> 00:58:10,556 - Mark, it seemed like a big part of this experience 805 00:58:10,659 --> 00:58:13,973 wasn't just about your son, but also a lot of it for you 806 00:58:14,076 --> 00:58:15,975 had to do with your fellow Recon marines. 807 00:58:16,078 --> 00:58:17,459 You even took the time to carve out 808 00:58:17,563 --> 00:58:19,357 the five paragraphs of the Recon creed. 809 00:58:19,461 --> 00:58:22,360 And we have that in some never-before-seen footage. 810 00:58:22,464 --> 00:58:23,534 Let's take a look at that. 811 00:58:25,191 --> 00:58:27,849 - I made a Recon Jack. It's the one that's on my arm. 812 00:58:27,952 --> 00:58:29,471 Something in the Recon community 813 00:58:29,575 --> 00:58:32,370 guys get if they've earned it. 814 00:58:32,474 --> 00:58:34,372 That's my Jack. 815 00:58:34,476 --> 00:58:37,514 Recon sniper. 816 00:58:39,412 --> 00:58:40,655 But it's little things like that 817 00:58:40,758 --> 00:58:42,035 that I look at and I'm like, 818 00:58:42,139 --> 00:58:44,348 man, you're doing this for more than yourself. 819 00:58:46,453 --> 00:58:48,076 So the Recon creed-- 820 00:58:48,179 --> 00:58:50,285 I'm carving it into the wood. 821 00:58:50,388 --> 00:58:52,701 Never shall I forget the principles I accepted 822 00:58:52,805 --> 00:58:55,117 to become a Reconnaissance marine-- 823 00:58:55,221 --> 00:58:58,949 honor, perseverance, spirit, and heart, 824 00:58:59,052 --> 00:59:01,227 conquering all obstacles built large and small. 825 00:59:01,330 --> 00:59:04,126 I shall never quit. 826 00:59:04,230 --> 00:59:05,369 There it is-- 827 00:59:05,472 --> 00:59:09,062 all five paragraphs of the Recon creed, 828 00:59:09,166 --> 00:59:12,756 written out in tablets on wood. 829 00:59:14,481 --> 00:59:16,553 Forever shall I strive to maintain 830 00:59:16,656 --> 00:59:20,246 the tremendous reputation of those who went before me. 831 00:59:20,349 --> 00:59:22,420 - Mark, what is your reaction to that? 832 00:59:22,524 --> 00:59:24,181 - You know, while you're out there, 833 00:59:24,284 --> 00:59:25,665 you've gotta do things that motivate you-- 834 00:59:25,769 --> 00:59:27,564 my son, priority number one, 835 00:59:27,667 --> 00:59:28,944 but then also what I've achieved 836 00:59:29,048 --> 00:59:30,808 and what I've done in the past in the military, 837 00:59:30,912 --> 00:59:33,500 and carving that creed out with my knife, 838 00:59:33,604 --> 00:59:35,399 and I made sure that I was abiding by it, 839 00:59:35,502 --> 00:59:37,332 'cause I am representing not only myself, 840 00:59:37,435 --> 00:59:39,748 but all Recon marines and scout snipers. 841 00:59:39,852 --> 00:59:41,474 - And what does that creed mean to you 842 00:59:41,578 --> 00:59:43,821 in the context of the "Alone" experience? 843 00:59:43,925 --> 00:59:45,340 - To never quit, 844 00:59:45,443 --> 00:59:47,066 to surpass failure, 845 00:59:47,169 --> 00:59:48,930 to overcome, to adapt. 846 00:59:49,033 --> 00:59:50,897 - You seem to be doing pretty good out there. 847 00:59:51,001 --> 00:59:52,312 And then all of a sudden, 848 00:59:52,416 --> 00:59:54,556 you being to say you're tired and exhausted. 849 00:59:54,660 --> 00:59:56,385 Was there a pivot point? What-- 850 00:59:56,489 --> 00:59:58,284 I know there was some deterioration there. 851 00:59:58,387 --> 00:59:59,768 Take us through that. 852 00:59:59,872 --> 01:00:04,531 - Man, day 35 was such a game changer physically for me. 853 01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:06,326 My energy levels plummeted 854 01:00:06,430 --> 01:00:08,501 and it started getting difficult to breathe. 855 01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:10,848 I had a pain on the right side of my back. 856 01:00:10,952 --> 01:00:13,644 And my vision was going. I thought it was my diet. 857 01:00:13,748 --> 01:00:16,474 And so I knew that I couldn't sustain at this rate. 858 01:00:16,578 --> 01:00:18,684 And it's a pretty humbling experience to be able 859 01:00:18,787 --> 01:00:21,548 to know yourself well enough to quit when I did. 860 01:00:21,652 --> 01:00:23,447 - So once you get back to base camp, 861 01:00:23,550 --> 01:00:25,035 your journey didn't end there. 862 01:00:25,138 --> 01:00:29,280 Take us through sort of what transpired after the evac. 863 01:00:29,384 --> 01:00:31,697 - My liver and my spleen were enlarged and infected 864 01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:33,422 and I had fluid behind my right lung. 865 01:00:33,526 --> 01:00:35,010 They told me that my heart was in the condition 866 01:00:35,114 --> 01:00:37,530 of an 87-year-old man who's had a massive heart attack. 867 01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,981 So it turns out that I had trichinosis, 868 01:00:40,084 --> 01:00:42,466 a parasite that can go from not that big of a deal to, 869 01:00:42,569 --> 01:00:44,157 it'll kill you in four to six weeks. 870 01:00:44,261 --> 01:00:45,814 And that's what had put it into perspective 871 01:00:45,918 --> 01:00:48,990 that I am super grateful that I left when I did. 872 01:00:49,093 --> 01:00:50,750 I'm lucky to be sitting here 873 01:00:50,854 --> 01:00:52,994 and be able to see my son every single day, 874 01:00:53,097 --> 01:00:55,686 so I couldn't be happier about my decision. 875 01:00:55,790 --> 01:00:59,000 - Wow, ended up being the exact right call to make. 876 01:00:59,103 --> 01:01:00,484 For sure. 877 01:01:00,587 --> 01:01:03,073 That's it for "Alone: Tales from the Arctic." 878 01:01:03,176 --> 01:01:05,351 I'd like to thank Mark, Callie, Joe, 879 01:01:05,454 --> 01:01:07,249 Amós, and Kielyn. 880 01:01:07,353 --> 01:01:09,631 We'll be speaking with the participants all season long 881 01:01:09,735 --> 01:01:12,082 following the shows, so make sure you tune in for that. 882 01:01:12,185 --> 01:01:14,222 Until next week, as promised, 883 01:01:14,325 --> 01:01:16,362 here's a sneak peek of that episode. 884 01:01:16,465 --> 01:01:17,363 We'll see you then. 885 01:01:18,985 --> 01:01:21,747 - All right, well, I guess I gotta try fishing. 886 01:01:21,850 --> 01:01:23,541 Oh! ! 887 01:01:27,511 --> 01:01:29,409 - I need fish. 888 01:01:29,513 --> 01:01:32,033 I need this ice to come in. 889 01:01:32,136 --> 01:01:35,553 This is so risky. 890 01:01:40,593 --> 01:01:42,802 - Holy . 891 01:01:42,906 --> 01:01:45,632 - Muskox everywhere. 892 01:01:45,736 --> 01:01:47,220 - No, no, no, no, no. 893 01:01:47,324 --> 01:01:49,498 They're surrounding my shelter.