1
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:56,999
<i>Ah, Mother's Day.</i>

2
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,714
Paige, come on, honey,
you have to go to school.

3
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,438
<i>I love being a mother.</i>

4
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,957
<i>But what about the other
364 days of the year?</i>

5
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,355
<i>When you're trying to
get your kid to school</i>

6
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,159
<i>and you're surviving
on very little sleep</i>

7
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,955
<i>because you're up all night sewing
costumes for the school play</i>

8
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,000
<i>and you've still got to go
to work in the morning.</i>

9
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:17,560
Go.

10
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,069
<i>It's about
the never-ending driving</i>

11
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,435
<i>to soccer,
gymnastics, or ballet.</i>

12
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,752
<i>It's about getting your kids
to look up from their computer</i>

13
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,355
<i>or iPad or iPod or iPhone or
whatever "I" they're looking at.</i>

14
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,956
Paige, wait, honey,
your banana, hold on, hold on!

15
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,071
It's okay, honey,
just eat the peach.

16
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,599
Eat the peach, it's fine.

17
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,148
<i>In other words,
it's about being a...</i>

18
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,390
Mom! Mom!

19
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,388
Mom!

20
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,840
Peter...

21
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,713
Wait, wait, wait...
breathe, slow down, slow down,

22
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,199
breathe, hold on.

23
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,074
There you go. See?

24
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,240
Now tell me what happened.

25
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,430
Peter left the top
of the ant farm open.

26
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,755
All the ants are gone,
even the big red one.

27
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,474
Oh, why?
Why did I buy this for you guys?

28
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,959
I swear, I don't...

29
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,156
Hey, hey, hey, Peter,
where did that come from?

30
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,709
You know no junk food
for breakfast anymore.

31
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,678
Dad brought them.
He lets us.

32
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,919
He also lets you go to
school without any underwear.

33
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,151
It's called
free-balling, Mom.

34
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,234
I swear.
Where are all of these ants?

35
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,416
It happened in the backyard.

36
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,510
God. Peter, I'm not kidding.
I'm counting to three.

37
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,113
One, two...

38
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,200
Three.

39
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,833
What?
When did that stop working?

40
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,831
Come on,
I brought a box of donuts.

41
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,228
It's not a federal offense,

42
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,959
but I will take credit
for the underwear.

43
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,592
Good morning.
Hello.

44
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,830
Did you look this good
when we were married?

45
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,876
No, I actually got better.

46
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,835
When did you get in here?
I didn't even hear you come in.

47
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,638
Came in through
the back door.

48
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,176
I mean, we don't want the neighbors
talking, do we?

49
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,679
Hmm. Are you hungry?

50
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:02,760
Mmm.

51
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,438
Here, have a donut.

52
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,356
Your parents are divorced,
right?

53
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,192
Oh, trust me,
there's weirdness.

54
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,840
So, Peter, you decided
to invite your friends over

55
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,632
at 7:45 in the morning?

56
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:14,720
Hi.

57
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,672
We're meeting here
for the carpool today.

58
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,552
- And the donuts.
- At my request.

59
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,113
All right, you little hooligans,
let's go, time for school.

60
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,235
Load up.

61
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,352
Please, you cannot bring this
stuff into the house anymore.

62
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,990
Yeah, but, uh, seriously,
could we have a conversation later?

63
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,954
There's something important
I need to talk to you about.

64
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,471
Sure, okay.

65
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,109
Okay.

66
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,713
Telephone.

67
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,155
Hey, Jess.

68
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,232
I ate a whole
coffee cake last night.

69
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,355
Pilates?

70
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,032
No, I can't.
I have way too much work.

71
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,136
But I've got to tell you,
the strangest thing just happened.

72
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,160
What?

73
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,636
I think I just caught Henry
totally checking me out,

74
00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,789
like twice.

75
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,475
Was it like a long stare
or a gawk?

76
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,671
Jesse, you've got to see this!

77
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,155
I'm going to say like a gawk.

78
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,389
What does that mean?

79
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,816
I have no idea, but he said he
wants to sit down with me later

80
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,354
and talk about
something important.

81
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,432
What if he wants to
get back together?

82
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,714
<i>What? No. No way.</i>

83
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,976
I'm coming, I'm coming.

84
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,274
That is so not happening.

85
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,918
Why not?
<i>Jesse.</i>

86
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,798
You are the happiest
divorced couple I've ever met.

87
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,632
I mean, maybe he's
figured you're the one.

88
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,631
Max, get ready,
my sister's coming.

89
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,439
No, no, no, no, no, no,
there's no way.

90
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,592
That's not going to...
It's been years, it's all fine and...

91
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,416
You don't really...
Really, you think it might be?

92
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,431
Do you think?
<i>Here's what I'm wondering.</i>

93
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,428
If you guys get remarried,
does it mean the ring has to be bigger?

94
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,112
I'm saying yes.

95
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,840
Okay, you just keep
thinking all of those

96
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,433
wonderfully deep
thoughts, okay?

97
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,039
I'll talk to you later.

98
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,031
Okay.

99
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,991
Presenting our float
for the Mother's Day parade.

100
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,553
Oh!

101
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,715
Wow!

102
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,837
Do you love it?
What is it?

103
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,276
Womb. It's a womb.

104
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,198
Of course.

105
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,753
It's a womb float.

106
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,752
Amazing. And so,
the tube?

107
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:21,880
The umbilical cord.

108
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,315
It's symbolic that we all
come from the same place,

109
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,472
gay, straight, transgender,
black, white, purple, you know.

110
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,675
Awesome.

111
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,873
I love it.

112
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,195
You're going to kill it
at the Mother's Day parade.

113
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,136
Seriously, they're not going
to know what to do with it.

114
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,479
You haven't seen
the best part.

115
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:43,196
Oh, look at that!
I delivered a child for the second time.

116
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,830
Wow! It's a boy.

117
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,353
You've lost your mind.

118
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,000
I'm going to go work out.
I'll be right over here.

119
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,520
You good?

120
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,600
All good, Val.

121
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,280
Hey, Zack.

122
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,680
Another week,
you won't need the tray.

123
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,736
Another week, and you and
Kristin will be doing my shift.

124
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,760
Hey, Val.

125
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,876
Hey, Kristin. Hey.

126
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,439
Hi, Daddy!

127
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,800
Ooh.

128
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,711
No, no, no, we sanitize.

129
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,080
I literally just
washed my hands.

130
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,189
Doesn't matter.

131
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:13,952
I could always
wear a hazmat suit.

132
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,599
I'd love that.

133
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,750
The baby books call that
being a helicopter mom.

134
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:18,955
You know, always hovering.

135
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,280
Yeah, I've been
called them all,

136
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,520
and it doesn't
faze me one bit.

137
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,473
Milk bottles for tonight.

138
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,400
Can you put those in the
fridge for me, please?

139
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,232
Um, that may not work.

140
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,320
I just found out...

141
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,197
Hey, Zack,
can I get two more?

142
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,631
Yep, on the way. Beanzie?

143
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,873
I got accepted into the Buckhead
Standup Comedy Contest.

144
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,116
First round's tonight,
three rounds,

145
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,519
first prize is 5 grand.

146
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,716
Babe, that would take my overall
earnings as a comic to,

147
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:46,989
well, 5 grand.

148
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,160
Just getting accepted into
the contest is a big deal.

149
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,336
Yeah, of course,
I will figure something out with Katie.

150
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,396
Don't worry.
Just go make 'em laugh.

151
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,750
I'm not paying you
to reproduce again.

152
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:56,840
Sorry, boss.

153
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,115
But don't mind me,
I'm just the owner.

154
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,757
Vicky,
don't kick the ball in here.

155
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,239
Okay, okay.

156
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,353
Thank you.

157
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,671
Can't believe it's
already been a year.

158
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,868
This will be our
first one without her.

159
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,079
I miss her.

160
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,074
Me, too.

161
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,359
Who's that?

162
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,590
Just a friend,
wondering if I'll be

163
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,716
at the mall
today after school.

164
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:43,915
I've got to answer him.

165
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,273
Is this "him" your,
uh, boyfriend?

166
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,628
Dad, stop. Please.

167
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,720
What?
Oh, my God.

168
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,119
Seems like
a reasonable question

169
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,992
for a father to
ask his daughter.

170
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,798
Hey, Vicky,
you know, we should go.

171
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,359
We're going to be
late for school,

172
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,829
and you, don't be late
for soccer practice this time.

173
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,434
I won't.

174
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,870
Mom was never
late for practice.

175
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,199
No, she wasn't.

176
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,073
Can I drive?

177
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,754
Absolutely not.

178
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,416
No, look, we're all going to end
up in a place like this someday.

179
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,800
All right?
I don't want to rush it.

180
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:26,715
What?

181
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,678
That was just like
the old Dad, making jokes.

182
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,713
Yeah, I guess.

183
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,839
So, listen, Dad.

184
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,354
After I get my license,
could I maybe, you know,

185
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,112
drive Mom's Volkswagen?

186
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,456
No, no, no, I'm going to sell it.
I told you that.

187
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,879
Come on, Dad.
Pretty please?

188
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,718
It's literally just
sitting in the garage.

189
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,199
Absolutely not.

190
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,559
Well, thanks for
thinking that over. Great.

191
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,395
I'm Adam Freeman.

192
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,233
Thanks for joining me here
on HSN from our headquarters

193
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,072
in St. Petersburg, Florida.

194
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,232
<i>Right now, I would like to send
it over to Atlanta, Georgia,</i>

195
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,153
<i>where the very lovely Miranda
Collins is on her book tour.</i>

196
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,559
Hello, Adam.

197
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,709
Hello, Atlanta.

198
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,199
Hello, viewers.

199
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,794
So, Mother's Day
is getting so close,

200
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,953
and we have these gorgeous
crystal mood pendants.

201
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,993
It is the perfect
gift for Mom.

202
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,231
These genuine quartz
crystal mood pendants

203
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,470
change color with your mood.

204
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,471
Now, wouldn't it
be nice to know

205
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,996
if your mom is
happy or sad or mad?

206
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,000
Oh, we have just sold
our 800th pendant!

207
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,115
Bingo!

208
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,149
Oh, God, I know that look.

209
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,754
You hate the float.

210
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,479
No, it's not the float.

211
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,193
It's just all this
Mother's Day stuff

212
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,296
and I start thinking about
how I haven't talked to Mom.

213
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,359
I don't even remember what our
stupid argument was about.

214
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,793
Oh, let me
refresh your memory.

215
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,416
She saw a picture of you
and Russell on Facebook,

216
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,113
and even though he's a doctor,
she threatened to disown you

217
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:59,198
if you continue to date a man whose
skin was darker than a Frappuccino.

218
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,191
Okay, I get it.

219
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,159
Look, you can always call her,

220
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,073
not that I understand why you
would want to, or Skype.

221
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,593
She's into that now.

222
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,591
Our parents have the Internet?

223
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,591
How do they do that
with a rotary phone?

224
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,148
Hmm. Fancier trailer park?

225
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,393
Well, when are you planning on
telling them about you and Max?

226
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,040
Never.

227
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,736
I'm engaged to an investment
banker named Steven.

228
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:23,920
We have not set the date yet.

229
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,336
He has low sperm count
and I'm in therapy.

230
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,360
That's my story.

231
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:30,558
Maybe if you tell them about you two
first, it'll soften the blow for me.

232
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,157
Don't even try to piggyback
your secret on my secret.

233
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,595
Besides, she's in Texas.
We're fine.

234
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,518
Yeah, we're fine,

235
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,150
just motherless
this time of year.

236
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,276
There's a reason we
moved here to Georgia.

237
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,793
She ruins everything,
remember?

238
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,394
I mean, at least
everything we let her.

239
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,830
I just feel like
we don't have family.

240
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,118
I'm your sister.
I live next door to you.

241
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,832
Thank you very much.

242
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:04,749
Thanks.

243
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:05,989
Little hot, careful.

244
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,120
Mmm.

245
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,153
It's really hot.

246
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,112
What did you
want to talk about?

247
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,760
Sounded so important.

248
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,353
Uh...

249
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,517
Oh, my God, what is it?

250
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,919
I, uh...

251
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,520
I, um...

252
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,793
I got married.

253
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,114
Eloped, actually.

254
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,393
Very impulsive.

255
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,028
You got married?

256
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,269
Yeah.

257
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,676
You got... To who?

258
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,279
To Tina.

259
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:52,909
To Tina?

260
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,315
Yeah, to Tina.

261
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,480
To Tina?

262
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:57,920
Stop saying, "To Tina."

263
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:03,028
I'm sorry,
I'm so confused right now.

264
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,714
I mean, I thought
you guys broke up so long ago.

265
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:06,800
We did.

266
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,673
But then there
was that stripper.

267
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,639
Dancer, yeah.

268
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,829
Stripper.

269
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:16,238
And then, Tina and I
got back together.

270
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,079
How does this...

271
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,639
Wow. You got back together.

272
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,319
She's the one.

273
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:26,280
Ah.

274
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,920
Well, let's say the next one.

275
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,835
Right.

276
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,070
You know, I've always respected
the agreement we've had

277
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,798
to keep our
love lives separate

278
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,950
until they become permanent,

279
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,679
which now it has.

280
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:47,433
Okay, so,
when do we tell the boys?

281
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,476
Oh, I already told them
on the way to school.

282
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,756
What? You already told them?

283
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:54,955
Yeah.

284
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,637
On the way to school,
with those other children in the car?

285
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,917
No, I waited till
those kids got out.

286
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,638
Oh, you did, good.
That's good.

287
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,673
So, that was a really nice,
well-thought-out moment for you guys.

288
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,876
That's nice.
Thanks for waiting for me.

289
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,231
They were excited.

290
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,557
They know her.
They really like her.

291
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,475
Okay.

292
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,556
Well...

293
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,952
Oh, gosh, I have to, um...

294
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,156
I have to meet
Jess at Pilates.

295
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,639
Sorry, I don't mean to...

296
00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,119
No, no, no.

297
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,696
I wanted to make sure
you heard it from me first.

298
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,233
Yes, I know, I know.

299
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,228
Okay, well, um...

300
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,240
Uh...

301
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,598
I'm happy for you.

302
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,359
Thank you.

303
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,748
Hi, Bradley. Are you going to
join us on the poles today?

304
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,910
Uh, not today,
Beth Anne, no.

305
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,274
Sisters.

306
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,718
We want to talk to you.
Go, Jody.

307
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,872
Bradley, there's this new mom at
school we want to set you up with.

308
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,040
She's recently divorced.

309
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,120
Not too recent.

310
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,112
With one of those annoyingly
perfect lives-at-the-gym bodies.

311
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,514
But with boobs, big boobs.

312
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,640
I mean big boobs.

313
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,073
Look, ladies,
I really appreciate

314
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,878
you looking out
for me like this,

315
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,349
but I just don't think
I'm ready quite yet, you know?

316
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,640
But when I am, I will definitely
come talk to you guys.

317
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,159
It'd be dumb not to.

318
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,232
What are your plans
for Mother's Day?

319
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,800
Oh, um...

320
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,753
No plans.
We're not celebrating.

321
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,918
I've been thinking about this
long and hard and believe me,

322
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,718
I think what's
best for the girls

323
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,552
is to just skip
the day altogether.

324
00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:00,474
You know, just treat it like a normal
Sunday, nothing special. You know?

325
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,630
What do you guys
think about that?

326
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,829
Absolutely not. No.
Major mistake, Bradley.

327
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,634
Dana would not like that.
Think about the kids.

328
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,000
You guys, look!
It's Miranda!

329
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,416
<i>Am I really on with
the Miranda Collins?</i>

330
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,318
<i>Am I really on with
the Edith from Waukesha?</i>

331
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,469
<i>Go ahead, Edith.</i>

332
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,160
Could I see the
bracelet a bit closer, please?

333
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,388
My pleasure.

334
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,592
How's that, Edith?

335
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,399
<i>Ooh, that's lovely.
I'll take two.</i>

336
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,353
And it won't cost you an arm and a leg.

337
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,039
Perfect. Good.

338
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,593
Nice crisp passes, guys!

339
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,433
My mom said your mom was
lieutenant in the Marines

340
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,112
and your dad
was a Marine, too?

341
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,952
Yeah, he was
a master sergeant.

342
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,520
Come on,
we've got to hustle.

343
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,834
He sure knows
how to yell.

344
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,016
Kick it to where they're going to be,
not where they are

345
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,376
because they'll be gone from
there by the time it gets there!

346
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,118
Leaner, come on, Rach.

347
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,633
Case in point!

348
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,592
Rachel, you've got
to hustle. Come on.

349
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,795
Hey!

350
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,030
Thank you, Vicky.
Thank you for your help.

351
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,553
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

352
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,029
Hey, Evelyn,
what are you doing?

353
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,156
Are you texting?
Are you?

354
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,510
Yeah, there's no
texting in soccer, okay?

355
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,433
I mean, there's running
and jumping, eye contact,

356
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,794
laughing, there's even crying.

357
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:12,915
There's no texting.

358
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,513
Please, put that away,
all right?

359
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,033
Hey, hey, hey!

360
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,068
What?

361
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,718
Thomas is
watching you.

362
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,954
Yeah, watching me
screw up, thank you.

363
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,193
Back to soccer!

364
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,512
I guess that's
Tommy there, all right.

365
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,758
Let's go!

366
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,000
All right, go, let's go!
Come on!

367
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,114
Here we go.

368
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,315
Nice!

369
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,789
- Rachel's open!
- Chase it down, that's it.

370
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,634
Hey, goal!

371
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:47,948
Nicely done.

372
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,271
Evelyn, please text my daughter,
"Good job." Thank you.

373
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,030
She is online.
You ready?

374
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,792
Yeah, I'm ready.
Oh.

375
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,158
Take that down.

376
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,268
Hey, Ma, it's Gabi.

377
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,592
Can you read me?

378
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,431
<i>Not a walkie-talkie,
Mom.</i>

379
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,674
I thought this Escape thing is
supposed to let me see people.

380
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,835
I don't see diddly.

381
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,878
<i>It's "Skype, " not "Escape."
Now just press "start video."</i>

382
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:16,995
<i>I did.</i>

383
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,355
Try again.
Click the picture of the video camera.

384
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,873
Well, I don't have
one of them.

385
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,154
<i>Yes, you do, Mom.</i>

386
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,754
No, I do not have
a damn picture of a video...

387
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,676
<i>- Okay, I did.</i>
- Hi.

388
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,716
<i>Oh, you got the crystal.
I sent it early.</i>

389
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,800
<i>Didn't want to risk it being
late for Mother's Day.</i>

390
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,776
<i>I know I'd never
hear the end of that.</i>

391
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,074
<i>Oh, I love it.</i>

392
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,198
<i>I'm not so sure about this
color-changing mumbo jumbo.</i>

393
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,193
<i>Oh, and I love that TV
shopping host, Miranda.</i>

394
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,111
<i>Do you know anybody
who knows her?</i>

395
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,997
<i>She's in a hotel in Atlanta.</i>

396
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,632
Uh, no, I don't.

397
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,553
But, um, there's someone
here who knows you.

398
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,760
I can't do it.

399
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,456
You don't have to do it.
<i>Where did she go?</i>

400
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,072
<i>All I see is bricks.</i>

401
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,718
<i>Hello?</i>

402
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,631
<i>Hello?
Uh...</i>

403
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,311
<i>Hi, Mom.</i>

404
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,040
Oh.

405
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,509
Do I know you?

406
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,878
<i>It's nice to see you, too.</i>

407
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,918
Finally calling to apologize
after all this time.

408
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,077
Nope, just calling to call.

409
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,072
<i>Gabi told me you're not dating
that Indian fellow anymore.</i>

410
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,599
<i>Finally came to your senses.</i>

411
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,632
<i>But I'm not going to rub your face
in it and say, "I told you so,"</i>

412
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,472
<i>but I told you so.</i>

413
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,073
Okay. Where's Dad?

414
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,990
He's having lunch.

415
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,713
<i>Hi, Dad!</i>

416
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,791
<i>Oh!</i>

417
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,429
<i>There's my little girl,
on the TV.</i>

418
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,709
<i>I'm glad to see you
talking with your mama.</i>

419
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,871
'Bout time you apologized.

420
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,234
<i>Well, you're
looking good, Dad.</i>

421
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,713
No, he thinks so.

422
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,470
Oh, I have to say, Jess,
you haven't aged that much.

423
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:50,560
Thank you.

424
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,016
<i>How come you can't
find a successful man</i>

425
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,996
<i>like your sister did,
that Steven fellow?</i>

426
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,640
I mean, believe me,
I love Gabi,

427
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,950
but she looks way too
much like your father

428
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,031
to be the one to
catch a man first.

429
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:02,755
Thanks, Mom.

430
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,637
Well, I called to say hi

431
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,472
<i>and I also called to tell you</i>

432
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:14,588
that no matter what's happened between us,
you're always my mother.

433
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,190
So, I wanted
to tell you about...

434
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,272
<i>What?</i>

435
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,908
Hey, look, it's Mommy
and Aunt Gabi.

436
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,910
I've got to go.
I've got to go.

437
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,096
<i>You want to tell me
about what?</i>

438
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,554
- Hi, you wanna see her?
- Hi, guys. Hi.

439
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,193
And she's gone.

440
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,589
Well, at least
she called you.

441
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,548
Maybe she got a date.

442
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,551
Hi, sweetie.
Hey, bubs.

443
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,736
Who were you
talking to?

444
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,760
Snapchatting.

445
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,358
Oh, what are you, 12?

446
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,919
No, it's fun.

447
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,634
This is so
exciting, you guys!

448
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:53,956
Your first sleepover with
Dad and his new person.

449
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,993
What do you want
us to call her?

450
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,832
Do you want us to
call her "Mom," too?

451
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,478
No, absolutely not.

452
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,790
You just call her
what comes naturally,

453
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,115
but I would say
"ma'am" is good.

454
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,119
Hey!

455
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,714
What's up, boys?

456
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:10,949
Hey, Henry.
Yeah?

457
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,040
Hi, Sandy.

458
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,269
Hi, Tina.

459
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,475
Hi, boys.

460
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,472
Hi.
Wow!

461
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,631
Oh, gosh,
congratulations.

462
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,151
Thank you.
Isn't it so exciting?

463
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,032
It's thrilling.

464
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,156
I thought you'd
moved back to LA.

465
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,240
Yeah, just
for a minute.

466
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,548
Ah. People said
I should model.

467
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,312
Yeah.

468
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,556
But somebody convinced me
to move back here.

469
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,398
Boys, I made cookies.

470
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,631
For Peter, guitars,
and for Mikey, baseballs.

471
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,512
Thanks.
Oh. Thanks, Tina.

472
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,749
These are great.

473
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,193
Yeah, come on inside.

474
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,793
Okay, bye, guys.

475
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,176
- Have fun.
- See you tomorrow.

476
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,713
Bye, Sandy.
Oh, um...

477
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,796
Tweet at me if you want to
check in or anything,

478
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,279
or check my Instagram.

479
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,136
I'll post some photos
when I get some cute ones.

480
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,310
Yeah, that's exciting.
Okay.

481
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,351
"Tweet at me."

482
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,909
She just... Did she just
say, "Tweet at me"? Did she?

483
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,296
I think she just said,
"Tweet me."

484
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,992
I didn't hear that.
Oh, Henry.

485
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,271
Oh, come on.
I knew she was younger, but...

486
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,634
She's almost 30.

487
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,069
"She's almost 30"?
In a few years.

488
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,309
My God.

489
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,072
And what is she wearing?

490
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,759
Uh...

491
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,592
What do you
want me to do?

492
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,398
Ask her to dress
more dowdy?

493
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:26,519
No, just tell her to dress,
put on a pair of pants.

494
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,795
That's not appropriate
for those kids.

495
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,438
You can see
everything's popping out.

496
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,112
Speaking of the kids.
What?

497
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,269
Mother's Day.

498
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,271
What about Mother's Day?

499
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:39,273
I was wondering if we could
take the kids for half the day

500
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,436
since Tina is
now technically...

501
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:42,669
Oh, stop.

502
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,593
No, no, no,
don't even say it, no.

503
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,238
You know what I mean.
No, no, no, no.

504
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:48,719
You got married
five seconds ago.

505
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,109
Can you just... Can we just
slow this down a little bit?

506
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,428
You're angry.
It's all right.

507
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,715
Well, at least consider
it for the boys' sake.

508
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,472
I just did.
Okay.

509
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:57,560
You can...

510
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,837
She can have Flag Day,
Groundhog Day,

511
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,911
any of those days,
Father's Day.

512
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,192
Well, I was just asking.

513
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,759
Yeah, I know,
and you did.

514
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,159
Unbelievable.

515
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,317
I'm sorry to interrupt
your spa,

516
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,069
but Miranda's agent, Lance Wallace,
wants to see you right away.

517
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,872
Lance, I'm here.
I'm here. Okay, okay.

518
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,837
Miranda okays
the book-signing poster,

519
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,751
and the essay
winners are ready.

520
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,080
All right, now she wants to
know some interior designers.

521
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,599
She hates the look
of the show.

522
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,558
Well, we've gotten a few
requests from some designers.

523
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:37,800
But this one
I liked the best.

524
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,149
Her name is Sandy Newhouse.
All right, why?

525
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:41,514
She lives in Atlanta.

526
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,068
She's designed living rooms,
upscale restaurants,

527
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,280
and a five-star hotel lobby.

528
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,316
All right, well,
she looks smiley and happy.

529
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,280
Make sure she meets Miranda
before we check out.

530
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,032
Okay, and make-up...
Goal!

531
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,792
Hey, hey, hey!

532
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,359
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey!

533
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,959
Hey there, Messi!

534
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,837
This is not a stadium,
it's a lobby!

535
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:58,920
No, no, no.
A lobby.

536
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,520
These are the kids of the
big shot HSN executive.

537
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,272
We're entertaining
them this week.

538
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,312
Hey, mister,
can I have my ball back?

539
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,558
There we go.
All right! Soccer rules!

540
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:09,816
Soccer rules!

541
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,536
Are they gonna be with us all week,
those kids?

542
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:12,913
Yes, they are.

543
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,516
<i>Doin' it all for my baby</i>

544
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,038
<i>'Cause he's as
fine as he can be</i>

545
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,712
<i>Not him, it's you.</i>

546
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,239
Dad, dinner's ready.

547
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,437
<i>Doin' it all for my baby</i>

548
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,197
<i>For everything
he does for me</i>

549
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,556
<i>I'm doin' it,
doin' it, doin' it</i>

550
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:38,914
<i>Doin' it, doin' it, yeah</i>

551
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,070
<i>Doin' it, doin' it...</i>

552
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,513
Mom loved karaoke.

553
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,675
Remember?

554
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,796
Oh, yes, I certainly do.

555
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:50,270
Come on,
let's eat, Dad. Come on.

556
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,588
Let's go.

557
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,829
Come on!

558
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,831
Okay. Okay.
What are you doing?

559
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,636
<i>This karaoke video is
just for you, Bradley.</i>

560
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,836
<i>And to my chubbos back home,
Rachel and Vicky.</i>

561
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,397
<i>I love you so much.</i>

562
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,593
<i>I'll be home before you know it.</i>

563
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,673
<i>Love you.</i>

564
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,079
<i>Love you guys.</i>

565
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,718
Yeah, could you go to the
supermarket for me, please?

566
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,160
Yeah, yeah, of course.

567
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,913
I can, uh...
Yeah, what, uh...

568
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,788
What do we need?

569
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,950
Uh, we need juice, eggs...
Uh-huh.

570
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,393
Eggs.

571
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,870
Bread, of course.
Yup.

572
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,157
Um, we need bananas and tampons.
Mmm-hmm.

573
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,355
Yeah.

574
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,598
Uh... Um...

575
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,308
What was that?

576
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,400
Tampons.

577
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,710
Maybe that's something
that can wait, you think?

578
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,030
Uh... No.

579
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:53,314
I'm just going
to write "T."

580
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,469
I'll know what
that means.

581
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:55,560
Okay, good.
Mmm-hmm.

582
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,079
Okay, there you go.

583
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,318
Oh, I miss you guys so much.

584
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,709
<i>Mom, we just saw you,
like, two hours ago.</i>

585
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,711
I know, I know,
but I love you,

586
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,916
and I miss you
when you're not here.

587
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,236
So... Hey, are you guys sure you
want to stay at Daddy's tonight

588
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,351
because I could...
Bye, Mom.

589
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:13,714
Okay, bye.

590
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,597
Me, too, I'm in.

591
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,832
- All in.
- One, two, three!

592
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,319
Oh, my gosh.

593
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,356
Oh, I won again.
No way.

594
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,190
<i>So, Mother's Day is coming and I
will be spending it with my mother.</i>

595
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,714
<i>I brought her out
with my most recent boyfriend</i>

596
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,119
<i>and he leaves
for the bathroom,</i>

597
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,031
<i>not even out of earshot,
and she's like,</i>

598
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,256
<i>"Well, he's
all right, I guess,</i>

599
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,600
<i>"but is that the nose you want
to see on your little girl?"</i>

600
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,189
<i>That's my time.</i>

601
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,350
<i>Thank you so much, everyone.</i>

602
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,874
<i>That was
Genevieve Joy.</i>

603
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,235
<i>Once again,
ladies and gentlemen,</i>

604
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,390
<i>welcome to the
Buckhead Comedy Contest</i>

605
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,392
<i>with your host,
former used car legend</i>

606
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,752
<i>and now comedy club owner,
Mr. Wally Burn.</i>

607
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,558
<i>Thank you, thank you.</i>

608
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,392
<i>All right, this next guy
coming out,</i>

609
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,040
<i>he's a guy from
the island across the pond</i>

610
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:16,711
<i>that gave us colonialism, Hugh Grant
and the plague.</i>

611
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,156
<i>Please put your hands
together for Zack Zim.</i>

612
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,869
<i>Zack Zim, have fun!</i>

613
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:31,154
<i>Good evening, hey, I'm Zack,
originally from Britain,</i>

614
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,596
<i>now living out here in Atlanta, Georgia,
with my girlfriend,</i>

615
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,473
<i>my girlfriend who recently had a baby.</i>

616
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,551
<i>No, uh, don't applaud.</i>

617
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,517
<i>Um, it's not mine.</i>

618
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,915
<i>No, she is, I hope.</i>

619
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,668
<i>She's amazing.
My girlfriend is American,</i>

620
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,036
<i>but she is desperate for our
child to have a British accent.</i>

621
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,913
<i>That's all she wants.
She won't talk to our child, seriously.</i>

622
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,638
<i>I have to read to
Katie every night.</i>

623
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,551
<i>All the other kids
are watching</i> Sesame Street.

624
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,995
<i>Our baby is sat down
in front of</i> Downton Abbey.

625
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,919
<i>You notice I say
"girlfriend," five years,</i>

626
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,197
<i>we're still not married,
and, boy, have I asked.</i>

627
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,271
<i>It was a struggle enough
to get her to update</i>

628
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,032
<i>her Facebook
profile from "single."</i>

629
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,839
<i>I was like, "Five years,
we have a child together.</i>

630
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,673
<i>"Couldn't you at least make it,
'it's complicated'?"</i>

631
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,159
<i>And it makes
it awkward, though,</i>

632
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,111
<i>like, how do you
introduce each other?</i>

633
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,593
<i>When I introduce Kristin,</i>

634
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,830
<i>I introduce her as
the light of my life,</i>

635
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,430
<i>the song of my soul, the mother
of my child.</i> AUDIENCE: Aw...

636
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,670
<i>And she introduces
me as her roommate.</i>

637
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,275
<i>And a great big happy almost
Mother's Day to you terrific...</i>

638
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,235
Hey.

639
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,076
Can we, um, just go back to the
not married thing for a sec?

640
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,879
Oh, Come on,
please, I am so tired.

641
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,154
I am so tired.

642
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,358
I love you, Kristin,
and I do want to marry you.

643
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,950
But I think I don't feel like
getting turned down anymore.

644
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,274
There's something you're not telling me,
but you can.

645
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,435
Whatever it is, we'll get through it,
if we're committed.

646
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,673
I don't know.

647
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,953
Zack, I just...

648
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,635
I don't know. Um...

649
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,396
I don't know either.

650
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,950
So, do you
want to take a break?

651
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,032
What? No, never.

652
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,795
I just... I need
a little bit more time.

653
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,632
I won't wait forever.

654
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:52,799
I know,
I'll take it.

655
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,711
I'll take it.
Can I have a kiss, too?

656
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:56,949
Mama wants a kiss.

657
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,839
Oh, thank you.
Mama kiss.

658
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,551
- Mama kiss.
- Mama kiss.

659
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,675
Sandy?

660
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,153
Hi.
Hi.

661
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,509
Hey!

662
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,511
Hi, hi, hi.
Hi, hello.

663
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,398
This is my friend Kristin.

664
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,595
Hey, Kristin.

665
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,696
That's her
little one, Katie.

666
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,256
Kristin and I met
at Mommy and Me.

667
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,280
Oh, sweet.

668
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,360
So, how'd it go?

669
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,636
I got the interview.
Great.

670
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,616
I don't know what's going to happen,
but, you know,

671
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,456
at least I... I'm just
hoping to have something

672
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,118
to keep my mind
off of all of the...

673
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:24,593
- Yeah.
- You know.

674
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,513
So, Sandy's ex-husband
just got remarried...

675
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,113
Oh...
...to, like, a 12-year-old.

676
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,428
Oh!
Yeah. So...

677
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,656
Well, I was actually going to say
carpooling and bagging lunches,

678
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,591
- but, you know, or that.
- Okay, I'm sorry!

679
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,176
I'd like to get my
mind off of that.

680
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,315
I'm sorry.

681
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:39,440
I'm sorry!
No, it was just,

682
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:40,839
we were on the topic
of marriage

683
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,714
and she's got cold feet, which is...
Oh...

684
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,592
I get that.
I get that.

685
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,376
So, that's what's happening here.

686
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,628
Yeah.
Hi!

687
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,640
- Yeah, we get it.
- But you know what?

688
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,314
You don't know until you give
it a shot is the truth, right?

689
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,400
Yeah.

690
00:29:55,560 --> 00:30:00,793
Really? Were you, like, sure?
Uh-uh.

691
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,359
Are you ever sure?

692
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,475
I was sure.

693
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,278
You were sure?
You were totally sure?

694
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,828
100%, going Indian
all the way.

695
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,392
Huh. I mean, I was 100%
certain I wanted kids.

696
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,272
Yeah, well,
that, of course.

697
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,790
I mean, I can't imagine...
Just the other stuff I don't know about.

698
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,148
Well, that's you guys.

699
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,834
I'm not the best person
to be giving marital advice.

700
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,876
No, no,
I do need to hear

701
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,110
because it's the divorce
thing that scares me,

702
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,510
because I don't know what that
would be like for her and...

703
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,593
You don't go into a marriage thinking
you're going to get a divorce.

704
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,878
- Obviously.
- Nobody does.

705
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,236
You know,
life happens and if it does,

706
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,999
then you've got a lot
more closet space...

707
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,080
Yeah.

708
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,078
Extra sink, no snoring,
you know, a lot of positives.

709
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,200
Yeah.

710
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,595
You're really just doing what's
best for the kids, right?

711
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,551
And yourself, but the kids.

712
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,030
By the way, your child is
eating sand, if you...

713
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,679
Tanner, don't eat that.

714
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:54,875
There's cat poop in it.

715
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,120
That's so gross.

716
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,840
What if there is cat poop...
No, he's fine.

717
00:30:58,960 --> 00:30:59,960
They survive...

718
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,976
Cat poop... and then they
grow up to be just like us.

719
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,673
Yeah, and they have
a very healthy immune system.

720
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,576
- Anyway, I'm going to go to the kids' show.
- Okay.

721
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,416
Hey, if you're going to come,
will you just text me?

722
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:09,656
It was
nice meeting you.

723
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,816
Nice to meet you.
And I'll save you a seat?

724
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:11,875
Yes.

725
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,188
Okay, or tweet at me.

726
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,713
Yeah, I'll text...
I'll tweet...

727
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,392
What? Tweet you?

728
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,456
- Yeah, see, right? That didn't sound right.
- Mmm-mmm.

729
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,152
What is that?
I was just trying it out.

730
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:21,395
Okay, bye.

731
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,599
Kristin, what's wrong?

732
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,274
What happened?

733
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:33,920
Are you okay?

734
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,316
I love Zack, but there's a
reason I'm afraid of marriage.

735
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:38,800
Um...

736
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:46,834
The truth is I have no
idea who the hell I am.

737
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,400
That's a big one.

738
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,353
I was adopted.

739
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:55,509
Oh, okay.

740
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,992
And I never met my
biological mother.

741
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,513
You never
told me that.

742
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,797
Never told anyone
that, only Zack.

743
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:10,276
And I've always wondered,
did she just throw me away?

744
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,354
Or, you know, was there a
reason she got rid of me?

745
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,670
Aw.
I have abandonment issues.

746
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:22,590
Honey, I'm sure you have
a million questions,

747
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,116
but then you know
what you have to do.

748
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,519
You have to
find your mother.

749
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,352
I already did.

750
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,438
Then I'm missing
the point.

751
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,511
I've no...
What do you mean?

752
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:34,795
I mean,
I have her address,

753
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,350
I just haven't had
the courage to contact her.

754
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,959
I'm really scared.

755
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,871
God, of course. That's...

756
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,396
Who wouldn't be?
I mean, that's crazy.

757
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,869
You don't even know what
she's going to be like.

758
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:49,639
You don't even
know your mother

759
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:51,392
and she has this
power over you.

760
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,239
You're going to have to
face it sooner or later.

761
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:55,548
You can do it.
Really?

762
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,856
Yes, you should just do it.
Yeah.

763
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,836
You're right, you're right,
you're right.

764
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,911
Okay.
Yeah, and get it over with.

765
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,396
You're, you know...
I mean, now you'll face it.

766
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,376
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
You're right, you're right, you're right.

767
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,470
I'm going to do it. I got it.

768
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,913
You will have it.

769
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,194
Thanks, Jess.

770
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:13,395
<i>Hi, I'm Bobby Lee,</i>

771
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,950
<i>principal here at Millard
Fillmore Middle School.</i>

772
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,758
<i>And we're really
excited about this show.</i>

773
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:19,896
<i>We're gonna start
in a few minutes.</i>

774
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,656
<i>The kids are very excited and later,
we're going to be...</i>

775
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:22,829
Sandy, hi.

776
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,480
<i>...featuring the Fillmore band in concert.
How about that?</i>

777
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:26,595
What are you doing here?

778
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,148
I didn't think
you'd mind. Here.

779
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,559
I kind of mind.

780
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:31,908
I had to hear Peter's riff.

781
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,376
We were up late last
night working on it.

782
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:34,960
You were
working on Peter's riff?

783
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,896
Yeah, I was in an
all-girl band in high school.

784
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,956
My gosh,
Peter's gotten so good.

785
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:40,696
You know, we just want
to encourage his music,

786
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,576
so we're taking the boys to the Foo
Fighters concert this weekend. But...

787
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:44,920
What? Don't say
anything to Peter.

788
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,359
It's a surprise.

789
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,591
And don't even get me
started on Dave Grohl.

790
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:50,755
Don't tell Henry.

791
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,589
Okay, Tina, Tina, Tina,
Tina, that's it.

792
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,358
I'm done. I'm done
with surprises.

793
00:33:56,440 --> 00:34:00,194
I really am. This week,
enough surprises, seriously.

794
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:01,839
Okay, is something wrong?

795
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,399
Yes, something is wrong.

796
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,717
I got here an hour early,
so I could get a front row seat,

797
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,395
and have a perfect camera
angle and watch my children.

798
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,311
And now you're sitting
right here next to me.

799
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:13,879
Because the seat was open.

800
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:18,158
It was for my purse, my purse's seat, okay?
My purse's seat is right here.

801
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,549
God, you cannot just show up
here late and then sit there.

802
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,631
You just can't
do that. We need...

803
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:27,073
We need boundaries.

804
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,434
We need some rules, Tina.

805
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:29,640
Rules?

806
00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:31,756
Like, sitting in
an open seat?

807
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,916
I don't know what
the rules are yet, Tina.

808
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,976
I don't know what they are,
but I just know we have them,

809
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,718
and you're breaking all of them.
Okay.

810
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,296
- I've just gotta get...
<i>- Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

811
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,197
<i>Animals on Parade!</i>

812
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:46,673
<i>Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee I ee I oh</i>

813
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,557
<i>And on his farm
he had a penguin...</i>

814
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,631
<i>What, why?</i>

815
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,434
<i>He also had a helper,
it seems.</i>

816
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,352
Oh, there's Mikey.
Hi, honey.

817
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,199
<i>A lion! He's got a...</i>

818
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,433
Oh, my God,
the costume's on backwards.

819
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:04,953
<i>He had a lion...</i>

820
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:09,034
Did you do that?

821
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,040
Peter.

822
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:12,880
Don't touch it,
don't touch it.

823
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,349
<i>Ee I ee I oh</i>

824
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:21,509
Yeah, that's good.

825
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,676
The producers have asked
to push the crystals.

826
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,193
Traffic has slowed down.

827
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,789
Five, four, three, two...

828
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,912
Welcome back, everyone.

829
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,797
All right, dads and husbands,

830
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,236
take a look at these
beautiful mood pendants.

831
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,756
Mother's Day, just a few days away,
this is your chance.

832
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,678
And we're clear.

833
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,638
<i>We need a price check
on organic cotton...</i>

834
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,674
No, that's not necessary.

835
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,552
They are...
They're 9 bucks.

836
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,113
They're 9 bucks each.

837
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,590
<i>Cancel that price check on tampons,
the organic cotton ones.</i>

838
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:09,680
Daughter?

839
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,516
Oh, uh, yeah.

840
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:18,517
Two actually, but only one is currently,
you know, becoming a woman.

841
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:20,480
Got you.

842
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,469
Yeah, their mom
used to do this, but...

843
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:27,634
Well, I do it now.

844
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,838
Same boat, two sons.

845
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,598
How is that the same boat?

846
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,031
I guess just the number.

847
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:43,396
Sorry, I don't usually eavesdrop
on other people's carts.

848
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,995
It's just... I'm Sandy,
I have two sons.

849
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:48,869
I already said that.

850
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:50,640
Yes, you did.

851
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:52,756
I can take you over here.
Oh, thank you.

852
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,635
Sandy, two sons, same boat.

853
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,109
Oh, thank you.

854
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,758
All right, well, bye.

855
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:05,032
Yeah, it was nice meeting you,
Sandy with two sons.

856
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,639
It was two, right?

857
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:08,309
Yeah.

858
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,198
Hey, Henry, what's up?

859
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,394
Hey, are the boys'
passports up to date?

860
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,790
Their passports?

861
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,355
I am planning our
summer vacation.

862
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:26,635
Um...

863
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:32,833
Okay, where are you
planning this vacation?

864
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,958
We're going to Paris.
Tina's never been.

865
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,556
Paris, uh, France?

866
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,160
Uh-huh.

867
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:41,833
<i>Are you kidding me?</i>

868
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,635
No, I'm not. Why?

869
00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,073
I got to go.

870
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:48,515
Bye.

871
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:51,349
Hello?

872
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:53,515
Hello?

873
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,671
So, how'd she take it?

874
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:00,439
Like a champ.

875
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,758
Oh, you've got to
be kidding me!

876
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,511
Paris?

877
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,351
Paris, Paris, Paris!

878
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:12,640
That's...

879
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:17,238
We could not get our shit together
for 13 years to get to Paris.

880
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,111
Now he's taking Tina. Tina.

881
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,872
Now he's taking Tina.

882
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:27,114
It's the only place I've wanted to go
since I was a kid and I read Madeline!

883
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,834
I don't even think she knows
who the hell Madeline is!

884
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:34,034
Oh, my God,
this is not happening!

885
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:35,997
This is not
happening!

886
00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:41,235
Oh, man, you know, you couldn't
have taken her to London

887
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,392
or to fuckin'
Disneyland maybe?

888
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,994
I don't know,
how about take her to the prom?

889
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,594
That's somewhere I bet
she hasn't been yet.

890
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,120
Jesus...

891
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,709
Freaking Tina!

892
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,239
I'd hate to see
her in traffic.

893
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:01,594
Yeah.

894
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:07,828
That's it.

895
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,239
That's it, go!

896
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:10,440
Over here!

897
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:12,355
Cross it!

898
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,591
That's it. Rachel's open.

899
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,477
There you go. That's it.

900
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,035
Yeah, move it!

901
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,120
Hurry!

902
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,599
Goal!

903
00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,549
Did not cross
the line! No goal!

904
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,513
What? What?
What are you talking about?

905
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:35,840
Go back to your coaching area!

906
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,976
No, no, no, no,
not until you reverse that call, man.

907
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,035
I'm warning you.

908
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,076
Hey, you're warning me what?
Look at the crowd.

909
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:43,192
Easy, mister.
I've got this, Lisa.

910
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,416
What? There's not
many of them.

911
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:45,475
No, no, look at them.

912
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,633
Okay, you've got,
like, five dozen

913
00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:49,216
different recorded
versions of that play

914
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,753
you completely
missed right there.

915
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,160
Why don't you
just walk over there

916
00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:53,496
and ask one of them
to replay it for you,

917
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:54,936
then you'll see you're wrong,
we'll win the game

918
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,120
and then you can stumble home
with your seeing-eye dog.

919
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,599
That's it.

920
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,069
Yellow card!

921
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:02,679
Yellow card?
Are you...

922
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,033
Oh, he blew
another man's whistle.

923
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,616
Did you just blow my whistle?
You're damn right.

924
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:07,976
You do not blow
another man's whistle.

925
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,070
You do when he
blows the game for you!

926
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,799
All right,
that's it, red card!

927
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,200
You're gone.

928
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,958
I'm gone? Okay,
good to know.

929
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,678
Okay, you know what?
I'm gone.

930
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,156
Now your ball's gone.
That's what's gone, okay?

931
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:21,315
Hey, Kimberly!

932
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:22,909
Oh, I've got to go!

933
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,070
- You take over, okay?
- Yeah, you better go.

934
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,776
Yeah, thank you.
If anybody's looking for me,

935
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,189
I'll be out in the parking lot
calling LensCrafters,

936
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,833
making that guy
an appointment!

937
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,160
Baby, you better go.
You're going to get hurt.

938
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,233
Spare ball, please.

939
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,509
Knucklehead!

940
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,194
All right, you're gone.

941
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,036
You... A pox
upon your whistle.

942
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:55,475
Play ball!

943
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,075
Next.

944
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,672
Yeah, hi.
Could we get a large pizza?

945
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,637
What kind you want?
Cheese.

946
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,550
Large cheese pizza
and three sodas to go.

947
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,033
Wait over there, please.

948
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,193
Where'd you hear that "pox on my whistle"?
What's that from?

949
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,271
Shakespeare.
Shakespeare, huh?

950
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,594
William Shakespeare?

951
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:16,073
No, Bob Shakespeare.

952
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,275
Who else would it...

953
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,879
Why are you talking
to me like this?

954
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,074
You, too, now?

955
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:22,856
I can't
believe we lost.

956
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,056
I think
that ball was deflated.

957
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,115
Totally.

958
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:26,474
Tom Brady is hot.

959
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,669
Hey, want to go
get some ice cream?

960
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,153
As a makeup present?

961
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,395
Make up for what?

962
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:36,471
Acting like Mopey Dick
half the time.

963
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,913
I'm sorry, Mopey Dick?

964
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,478
Yeah, being sad
all the time,

965
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:45,559
obsessing over soccer
so you can get closer to Mom,

966
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,438
watching those
videos over and over.

967
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,313
She's gone, Dad, and we're all sad,
but for how long?

968
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,776
And acting like an asshole with
that ref doesn't help anyone.

969
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:58,835
Hey, watch your language.

970
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:00,239
You know what?
Yeah, I cuss.

971
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,276
That's because I'm
an unsupervised teen

972
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,256
and while I'm at it,
I don't mind taking care of Vicky

973
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,077
and doing all the housework
and the cooking.

974
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,390
Dad, I'm only 16,
I have a life.

975
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:09,879
I know, okay?

976
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,797
Tommy's here.
I've got to go.

977
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,636
Wait, where are you going?
Just stop.

978
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,391
Is this the boy
that likes you?

979
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,391
Hey, Rachel,
what are you doing?

980
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,434
Go, come on.

981
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:24,960
Rachel,
get out of the car.

982
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:26,875
Get out.

983
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,996
You're going to roll
up the window on me.

984
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,510
Hey, wait until it stops
and then get out of the car.

985
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:34,633
Unbelievable.

986
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,910
<i>But my friend comes
to me and she goes,</i>

987
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,073
<i>"Oh, my God, Mia,
I have met the perfect guy for you."</i>

988
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,358
<i>She shows me his picture,
and this dude was at least 75, okay?</i>

989
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,309
<i>And I am not.</i>

990
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,992
<i>And I said, "Um, his eyes
have cataracts,</i>

991
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,556
<i>"mine have hope, okay?"</i>

992
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,633
She is killing 'em.

993
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,072
She's also
killing the boss.

994
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,319
Oh, I'm so sorry!
Are you okay?

995
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,118
Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.

996
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,616
Do you know where the pool is?
I'm looking for Miranda Collins.

997
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:43,696
Yeah, it's right
through that door.

998
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,720
- But, can I help you with the rip?
- No, I'm...

999
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,336
Sorry, watch out behind you.
Sorry, sorry, sorry!

1000
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,191
Thank you. You sure I
can't help with the rip?

1001
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:50,548
I got a safety pin.

1002
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,830
No, no, thank you,
I'm late for a meeting.

1003
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:54,997
Bigger smile.
Bigger smile, yeah.

1004
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,071
There you go. Perfect.

1005
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:58,758
Have a nice day.
Next.

1006
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,000
Thank you.

1007
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,837
Congratulations.

1008
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,831
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Shoot!

1009
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:05,315
One more.

1010
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,198
Ma'am, these are contest winners.
Only they get pictures.

1011
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,816
I'm not... I'm actually
not here for a picture.

1012
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,114
I'm here to
show Miranda this.

1013
00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:12,275
Fine, stay here.

1014
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:13,736
But, there's actually...
Hey, hey, hey!

1015
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,760
How cute.

1016
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:15,989
That's very sweet.
Miranda!

1017
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:17,911
I'm sorry, that's...
Congratulations.

1018
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,598
I'm not a contest winner.

1019
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:20,988
Then why am I
hugging you?

1020
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,196
I'm sorry. I'm late.
I'm here for the interview.

1021
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,376
We're not doing
any press today.

1022
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,520
No. I'm not
interviewing you.

1023
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,056
She's interviewing me.
You need to calm down.

1024
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,548
I need to calm down?
I'm not here for a photograph.

1025
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,153
I'm here for a job.

1026
00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:32,434
Oh, you must be Sandy.

1027
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:33,589
Yes, I'm Sandy!

1028
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,671
Yes! Well, you missed
the design meeting.

1029
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:36,896
Miranda is a very
busy person.

1030
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,280
Oh, really?
Is Miranda busy?

1031
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,472
Well, I would have
been here on time

1032
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,120
if my ex-husband
hadn't married a tween,

1033
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,829
or if my doctor had called in
my child's asthma medication,

1034
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,478
or if my mother-mobile
went faster

1035
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,073
than 4 miles per
hour on the freeway.

1036
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,238
But I understand it. I get it.
Her time is very valuable.

1037
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,437
And she's very busy.
My time is not.

1038
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,436
My bra's on inside out.

1039
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,096
Would you like me
to help you with your bra?

1040
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,429
No! Uh... Thank you, though.

1041
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,353
I like your blouse.

1042
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:11,998
Thank you. I just made this.

1043
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,349
Next.

1044
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,914
Look at me, look right here.

1045
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,269
It's not a date. Oh, just...

1046
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,389
Great.

1047
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:29,993
That's a waste of my time.

1048
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,993
Oh, I'm Miranda.
I'm the busiest woman in the world.

1049
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:34,789
Where is she, Betty?

1050
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:36,472
There she is,
talking to herself.

1051
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:37,869
Thanks, Betty.

1052
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,151
Excuse me, ma'am.

1053
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,434
I'm sorry, Miss Collins
would like to see you now.

1054
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:46,879
She would?
Yes.

1055
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:48,389
Okay.

1056
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:49,879
Oh, shoot!

1057
00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:51,240
Um...

1058
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:53,678
One second, one second.

1059
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,032
Can I help you with something?

1060
00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,616
Watch yourself.
Don't get stuck in there now.

1061
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:00,640
Would you...
Okay, sure.

1062
00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:01,755
I got it. I got it.
Yep.

1063
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:03,319
Okay?
Yes, I got it.

1064
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,277
You sure you got everything?
Hello in there.

1065
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:06,456
You want this back?
No, no, no.

1066
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:07,674
No, okay.

1067
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:14,634
Uh, okay, so,
I was trying to create

1068
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:17,473
a little bit more
flow and, um...

1069
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,035
Gosh, your head just really
snapped right off there.

1070
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:23,120
Anyhow.

1071
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,033
So, that's why I kind of
rounded out these edges

1072
00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:27,559
a little bit and
opened it up.

1073
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:28,720
And also, um...

1074
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,512
How long has
your son had asthma?

1075
00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:34,233
His whole life.

1076
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:38,271
But the doctors say that they
can grow out of it sometimes.

1077
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,718
Do you have kids?
No.

1078
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:44,999
Career.
Sure.

1079
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,080
Keeps me busy.

1080
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,715
Yeah, of course.

1081
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:54,071
Tell me more about this
tween and your ex-husband.

1082
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:56,477
Oh, yeah.

1083
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:59,233
Oh, I'm sure I exaggerated
about that a little bit.

1084
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,272
I'm sure she's older,
but I'll have a better idea

1085
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:03,833
once all the acne clears up.

1086
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,273
You're funny.

1087
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,191
You have to be
more fun than she is.

1088
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,113
I am, I am.

1089
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,956
Well, you should hold on to that.
Yeah.

1090
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,389
Yeah.

1091
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,276
Okay, I feel like I should keep
pitching you my... The set, so...

1092
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,550
No, not at all.
You're hired.

1093
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,357
That's it?
Mmm-hmm.

1094
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,193
And I dare say with this new job,
you might be able to afford

1095
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:31,599
a slightly faster car.

1096
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,834
Not a Maserati,
but slightly faster car.

1097
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,354
I'm so sorry for that
explosion out there.

1098
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,238
Don't be. It got our
attention, didn't it?

1099
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,151
Also a trait to hold on to.

1100
00:47:42,720 --> 00:47:44,392
Okay, thank you.

1101
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,756
I'll hold on to that, and
I'm funny... I've a lot to hold on to.

1102
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,308
I know that you're
very busy, Miranda, so...

1103
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:51,998
One last thing.

1104
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,839
There is one final
souvenir to give away,

1105
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,633
though you were not
an essay-contest winner.

1106
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,997
Thank you. 100% gold-plated
hypoallergenic bangle.

1107
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,120
Oh.
Just for you.

1108
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,153
Oh, my gosh.
This has been a great day.

1109
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,480
Jess, our blender's broken.
We're using yours.

1110
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:13,715
Okay.
Hey.

1111
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:14,800
Hi.

1112
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:16,108
Where's Russell and the kids?

1113
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,476
Oh, they're out in the garage popping
the bubble wrap on the float.

1114
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,479
It's them. You answer it.

1115
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:25,600
It's your Skype.

1116
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:26,675
It's your parents.

1117
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,079
Your parents, too.

1118
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,229
You know what?

1119
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:32,073
This is something that I can do for you,
is answer and talk to them.

1120
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:33,912
Thank you.
But I'd rather do this.

1121
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,071
Oh, my God.

1122
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,108
Dad.

1123
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:40,680
<i>Hi, Jess.</i>

1124
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,110
<i>I want to talk to you about a
Mother's Day present for my old lady.</i>

1125
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:45,320
Uh...

1126
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,270
The old lady,
meaning my mother?

1127
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:52,352
<i>Yeah, I've got the greatest
idea in the world.</i>

1128
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:53,440
Okay.

1129
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,115
<i>A present that's going to knock
your mama plum out of her panties.</i>

1130
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:58,200
Whoo!

1131
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:01,632
Dad, that is a really
interesting visual.

1132
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:03,551
<i>What are you
guys talking about?</i>

1133
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,592
Mom, I thought... Dad, I thought
you wanted it to be a surprise?

1134
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,352
<i>Oh, it will be.</i>

1135
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,198
Come in, door's open.

1136
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,229
Hello?

1137
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:14,879
Hello? Dad?

1138
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:16,469
Surprise!

1139
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,715
Oh, my God!
That was... What?

1140
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,033
What?

1141
00:49:24,240 --> 00:49:27,835
Yes, you have that here now.

1142
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,876
That's crazy.

1143
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:31,989
Gabi!

1144
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,039
Gabi!

1145
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:36,913
Oh, it's you guys.

1146
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,194
Yeah, it is!

1147
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,159
Oh, sweetheart.

1148
00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:42,856
Gabi, you're not
going to believe it.

1149
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,838
You guys are
supposed to be in Texas.

1150
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,188
I lied.

1151
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,955
We've been driving
20 hours straight.

1152
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:52,799
I thought with us making up
on the Skype and all

1153
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:53,989
and Gabi's engagement,

1154
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:57,755
what a great
Mother's Day surprise,

1155
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,438
a couple of days early.

1156
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:00,669
Mom, Dad!

1157
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,955
What are you guys doing here?

1158
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:04,360
Yay!

1159
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,593
Oh!

1160
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,880
Hi, Daddy.

1161
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,353
Hi, sweetheart.

1162
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,749
Hey, listen. Uh, where's
the little ladies' room?

1163
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,518
- Down the hall.
- I'll be right back.

1164
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,079
I just can't
take him anywhere.

1165
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:17,759
Oh...
Oh!

1166
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,355
Well, I'll say,
this is some kind of casa.

1167
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,193
Thank you.

1168
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,032
That's not good.
It's not good.

1169
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:26,976
You need to call Russell.
Text Russell right now.

1170
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,035
Okay.

1171
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:29,136
Text Russell, tell him
don't leave the garage

1172
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,576
and don't let the kids
get out of the garage.

1173
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:31,635
Just stay in the garage.

1174
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,951
Oh, look at that picture.

1175
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,115
I don't like it.

1176
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:37,793
I don't live here.

1177
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,749
Uh... Oh, hello there,
I'm Gabi's mom.

1178
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:43,592
You must be Steven.

1179
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:45,600
Oh!

1180
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,189
I'm sorry.

1181
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,590
I'm sorry, I thought
you were someone else.

1182
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:52,999
You're Gabi's mom?

1183
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:54,519
Yes, and who are you?
Oh.

1184
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:55,640
Um, I'm,...

1185
00:50:56,600 --> 00:51:01,230
I'm Max, I'm Gabi's partner.

1186
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:05,154
In crime. This is her
partner in crime, Max.

1187
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,473
Well, good as new.

1188
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:10,560
Oh.

1189
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:11,789
You got any beer?

1190
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:13,195
Yes.

1191
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,878
We could always
go out for a beer.

1192
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:16,468
Uh, uh...

1193
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,352
Hoegaarden, Stella...

1194
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:20,393
No.
Kingfisher...

1195
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:24,155
It sounds like
the freakin' United Nations.

1196
00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:28,952
Uh, no, no, I'll import
some American brew from my RV.

1197
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:30,155
Be right back.

1198
00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:31,468
Where is Steven?

1199
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:33,875
Oh.

1200
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,399
Good luck.
Steven is...

1201
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:36,520
Steven.

1202
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:37,595
The one that...

1203
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:38,715
Gabi's fiancé.

1204
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,030
I'm excited to meet
my future son-in-law.

1205
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:42,599
Are you? Okay.

1206
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,797
Mom, um,
there is no Steven.

1207
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:47,871
Max is my partner.

1208
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:51,198
Your business partner?

1209
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,874
No, um, my life partner.

1210
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,438
Your li...

1211
00:51:57,880 --> 00:51:59,108
Uh, what...

1212
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,031
I'm Gabi's wife.

1213
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:02,360
Huh?

1214
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:04,670
We're wives.

1215
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,550
No! No!

1216
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,154
What did I miss?
Oh!

1217
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:12,800
A heck of an episode
of <i>The Jerry Springer Show.</i>

1218
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,512
Doesn't get any
better than Jerry.

1219
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,558
Hey, Jesse, why am I
staying in the... Oh, hello.

1220
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:19,280
And we are back from commercial.
Go back.

1221
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:21,715
Are you the houseboy?

1222
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,632
No, who the hell are you?

1223
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:26,153
Well, I'm Jesse's father.

1224
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:27,360
Okay, that's not funny, pal,

1225
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:29,834
because Jesse's
father and mother

1226
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:32,388
are in a dementia
facility in Arizona, right?

1227
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,354
Dementia, my butt.

1228
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:37,239
We live in Texas.

1229
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:39,920
You're going to tell me
that you're Jesse's mother?

1230
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:41,275
Oh, yeah.

1231
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,595
Well, who in
the Sam H. are you?

1232
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,593
Well, I am Jesse's husband,
I think.

1233
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,388
Are we on <i>The Jerry Springer
Show</i> right now?

1234
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,152
Are we?
Wait, wait, wait.

1235
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:52,673
Jesse's not married.

1236
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,432
Oh, oh, yes, she is.

1237
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,073
Yes, she is, to me.

1238
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:57,235
To him.

1239
00:52:58,080 --> 00:52:59,718
Oh, holy hell.

1240
00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:02,915
You've got a towel-head
for a husband?

1241
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:04,837
I thought you
broke up with him.

1242
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:08,356
Okay, FYI, towel-head,
super offensive. So...

1243
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:09,919
It's very offensive.

1244
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:13,273
You got married and
you didn't tell us?

1245
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,755
So is Gabi and
to a gay person.

1246
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,468
What?
Mom, I'm a gay person.

1247
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:19,879
She is a gay person.

1248
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:21,837
Sweet jumpin' Jesus.

1249
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:23,348
Let's go, Flo.

1250
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:25,192
There's a whole lot
of life going on here

1251
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:26,998
that has nothing
to do with us.

1252
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,156
This isn't the surprise
I was looking for.

1253
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:30,998
You'll be fine
and so will he.

1254
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:32,514
Oh, thanks, Mom.

1255
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,756
Just get a divorce
before he gets you pregnant.

1256
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:35,909
Amen.

1257
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:37,638
Tanner needs you,
Uncle Russell.

1258
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,475
Hey, buddy, come here.

1259
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:44,832
Who are they?

1260
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,990
Uh, this is ours. Hi.

1261
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:48,160
Tanner.

1262
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:49,955
Can you say hi?

1263
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,079
Say hi, Grandma, hi, Grandpa.

1264
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:53,160
Yes.

1265
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:55,351
And, uh, Charlie is my child.

1266
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,793
That I adopted.

1267
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,951
I came from a sperm donor.
That's right.

1268
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:00,837
He might have been named Steven.
Mmm-hmm.

1269
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:04,717
Those were your grandparents.
Mmm-hmm?

1270
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,275
And I put on a bra for this?

1271
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,040
Oh.

1272
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,316
Look, it's black.

1273
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,756
Oh! Now,
that's the last straw.

1274
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:20,875
What?

1275
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:22,029
The tire, it's flat.
Oh.

1276
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,672
Don't worry, Fluffy.

1277
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,279
We'll get it fixed tomorrow.

1278
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,353
The tire, maybe.

1279
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,115
You don't need this.

1280
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:34,557
Look, you told me that your parents
were mentally incapacitated.

1281
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,193
Trust me, they are.

1282
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:39,511
Oh? They are, and besides,
it was our first date.

1283
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,150
Okay, who doesn't lie
on their first date?

1284
00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:45,312
Oh, really? Well, what about
our second date and 50th date

1285
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,231
and what about the, um...

1286
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,118
Hey! Oh! The time that we
had a child together?

1287
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:53,636
Do you realize that you lied to me
about your parents?

1288
00:54:53,720 --> 00:54:55,790
I lie to everybody
about my parents.

1289
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:57,108
Oh, that's reassuring.

1290
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,430
I lie about my horrible
life in that trailer park.

1291
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:02,393
I was a freshman in high school,
saving every dime that I had

1292
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:04,511
so that I could
just get out of there.

1293
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,319
No graduation,
cap, gown, on a bus.

1294
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,709
Good, I get it,
you hate your parents.

1295
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,119
No, I don't hate them.

1296
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:12,840
They're my parents,
so I love them, but...

1297
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:15,313
Honey, it's not...

1298
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,755
It's just that they're
wrong about so much

1299
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,269
and they're wrong
about how they treat people,

1300
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,576
they're wrong about how they
honor people's differences...

1301
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,033
You know what's
the worst part,

1302
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:25,917
is that you lied
to them about me.

1303
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:29,256
Why? Because it's so
terrible to be married to a towel-head!

1304
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:31,992
How embarrassing for you.

1305
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,071
Yeah, they should have
called me Dr. Towel-Head.

1306
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,160
Where are you going?

1307
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:38,400
Ready?

1308
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:41,433
Good.

1309
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:45,635
Okay.

1310
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:46,909
Good!

1311
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:48,035
How'd I do?

1312
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:50,270
Amazing. You were so good.
Yeah. Yeah.

1313
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:51,509
It was really...
Help?

1314
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,158
Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.

1315
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:54,998
Um, I think
I'm going to go to yoga.

1316
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,120
Yeah, yeah, please.

1317
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,236
No, yeah,
a little safer, I guess.

1318
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,430
Hey, look,
I need your guys' help.

1319
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:03,560
Oh!

1320
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:05,598
Yeah, we've got
the perfect girl for you.

1321
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:07,033
No, no, no, not that.

1322
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:08,758
Look, um,
I want to know everything

1323
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:10,432
you guys know
about this Tommy kid.

1324
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:12,949
I like his mother, Denise.
I know!

1325
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,917
She's always
volunteering for school.

1326
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,228
That's nice.

1327
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:18,436
Her banana bread is nothing
to write home about.

1328
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:19,709
It's dry on a good day.

1329
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,360
Okay, I don't need you talking
trash about her bake sale goods.

1330
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:25,199
Look, I want to know,
should I let her date him?

1331
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:26,713
Do you have a choice?

1332
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:28,320
Where's the yoga class?

1333
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,240
It's right over there.
It starts at 10:00.

1334
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:31,674
Sorry.

1335
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:37,789
Where's he going?

1336
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:42,798
Hey, what are you
doing back there?

1337
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,951
Uh... Just checking your form.

1338
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:46,109
It's good. Nice job.

1339
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:47,280
Buns of steel, right?

1340
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:50,791
No, no, no. Yeah, I have a choice, okay?
I'm her father.

1341
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,235
Hmm. If you say no,
they start rebelling,

1342
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,276
start telling lies
and keeping secrets.

1343
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:57,112
Sneaking out, running away.

1344
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,795
Yeah, it could lead to meth,
prostitution and possibly dating a drummer.

1345
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,558
Okay, look, that's not
helpful right now.

1346
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,752
I want to know one thing,
is he a nice boy or not a nice boy?

1347
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,149
That's it.
All redheads are nice.

1348
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:10,552
I think he's a nice boy.
Yeah.

1349
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:12,759
He's all right.

1350
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:14,353
So, what about Mother's Day?

1351
00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:17,119
Uh, I'll be back.

1352
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,120
Sleep tight, Katie.

1353
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:24,030
All right,
finally got her down to sleep

1354
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:26,350
just in time for
you to take her home.

1355
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:31,874
Hello, I'm sensing
some disappointment.

1356
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:34,915
I would have heard back
from the club by now.

1357
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:36,877
I don't get it.
I thought I killed.

1358
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:40,270
I'm sure you murdered,
destroyed, annihilated.

1359
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,479
I must have been better
than the girl with the banjo.

1360
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:47,394
Hey, you are the most
talented comic in this town.

1361
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:51,471
We open in 10 minutes, people.

1362
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,710
Sh... What are you, Shorty?

1363
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,030
No, I'm just yelling for two.
Ah.

1364
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,109
Oh, oh...

1365
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,431
Um, Zack, is there any way that
you can watch Katie tomorrow?

1366
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,915
I told Val that I'd take her
to a doctor's appointment.

1367
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,914
You're taking me to
my doctor's appointment. Yup.

1368
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:09,877
A llama? I would love... Yes.

1369
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,598
They would love that.

1370
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:13,256
Okay. Oh, sorry.
You know what?

1371
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,919
Can I call you right back?
I have to call you right back.

1372
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:17,069
Thank you.

1373
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:21,396
Hey, Jesse! Honey, I need you to come
over Saturday morning with Tanner.

1374
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:23,516
Well, I'm having
a small party for the kids.

1375
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,120
Don't you think
they would like a llama

1376
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:26,736
way more than they'd
like the Foo Fighters?

1377
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:27,875
I mean, come on.

1378
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:37,274
Earl, I'm looking at the
girls when they were younger.

1379
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,908
<i>Loving can hurt</i>

1380
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,433
<i>Loving can hurt sometimes</i>

1381
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:50,790
<i>But it's the only
thing that I know</i>

1382
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:58,879
<i>We keep this love
in a photograph</i>

1383
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,950
<i>We made these memories
for ourselves</i>

1384
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,315
<i>Where our eyes
are never closing</i>

1385
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,595
<i>Hearts are never broken</i>

1386
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,672
<i>Time's forever frozen still</i>

1387
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,799
<i>I will remember
how you kissed me</i>

1388
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:28,233
<i>Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street</i>

1389
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:31,313
<i>Hearing you whisper
through the phone</i>

1390
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,234
<i>"Wait for me
to come home"</i>

1391
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,392
Hello, everybody!
Welcome to Sandy's party!

1392
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:45,913
All right!

1393
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,195
We've got Bella
the Balloon Lady,

1394
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:50,430
we've got Marty,
the animal wrangler!

1395
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:53,751
Hi! We've got
Pinwheel painting faces,

1396
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,910
and a big slide!

1397
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,559
Wow.
Hi.

1398
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:01,753
This is something.

1399
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,831
Yeah, I don't know
what happened.

1400
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:06,195
I just called to rent
Bella the Balloon Lady,

1401
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:07,536
and I just couldn't
stop saying yes.

1402
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:08,788
No, no, I like it.

1403
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:10,416
- And then all of this.
- Can we go see the llama?

1404
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,351
Yeah, why don't you go.

1405
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:13,759
Let me talk to Sandy.

1406
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:15,199
Go to the petting
zoo, honey.

1407
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:16,474
Tortoises, bunnies...

1408
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:17,993
Come on, Tanner.

1409
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:19,800
So, you have not
heard from Russell?

1410
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:23,429
Not a peep, radio silence.

1411
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,030
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

1412
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:28,676
Well, at least you
have Tanner, you know?

1413
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:30,040
He won't bite.

1414
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:32,157
Of course, until the day
that you get a divorce

1415
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,800
and then you have to have
that 50/50 shared custody

1416
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,632
and then it's just,
like, hell.

1417
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:39,711
That's my life.
Wait a second.

1418
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:41,240
That's not your life,
that's my life.

1419
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:43,872
Indians don't
really get divorced.

1420
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:47,599
Tire's good.

1421
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,073
I'm all packed.

1422
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:54,475
Now, we can put a whole lot of
gone between us and these, uh...

1423
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:56,913
These, uh...

1424
01:00:58,440 --> 01:00:59,475
Oh!

1425
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,039
Hot damn!

1426
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,792
What is it, Earl?

1427
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:06,071
Someone stole
my ignition fuse!

1428
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,390
What are we going to do now?

1429
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,951
There's a Pep Boys
about a mile back.

1430
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,196
I'm going to start walking.

1431
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:25,956
Yeah!

1432
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:27,479
Can I ride the llama?

1433
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,477
No.
How about the alpaca?

1434
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:30,635
It's a fun party.

1435
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,336
Can you open this, Sam?
Yeah, we can't open...

1436
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:34,237
Sure.

1437
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:54,389
Yeah, hey,
how are you doing?

1438
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,976
Hey, I'm doing good.
You like some spaghetti?

1439
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,035
I'm good, thanks.

1440
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,237
You don't like
any spaghetti.

1441
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:04,679
Back up, Bozo.

1442
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:06,637
Oh.
The fireworks arrived.

1443
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:08,950
So, I'm going to
go check on Tanner.

1444
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:13,629
Sandy, what's going on?
Yeah. Hey.

1445
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:16,159
Oh, I so...

1446
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,708
I'm so sorry.
I completely lost track of time.

1447
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:20,313
I'm supposed to
drop the boys off.

1448
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,232
I'm so sorry.
What is all this?

1449
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,956
It's a party.
For what?

1450
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,790
For fun, on a Saturday...
For fun on a Saturday,

1451
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:29,976
a party for fun
on a Saturday.

1452
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,718
This is completely
unlike you.

1453
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:33,336
What do you mean?
It feels totally like me.

1454
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:34,918
This is completely
irresponsible.

1455
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,514
Irresponsible?
I'm irresponsible?

1456
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,240
You can call me
a lot of things,

1457
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:41,800
but irresponsible
is not one of them.

1458
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:43,176
Listen to me,
when was the last time

1459
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:44,553
you took the kids
to a dentist?

1460
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:47,075
Huh?

1461
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,031
Or to go buy them,
you know, school supplies

1462
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:52,192
or one of the gazillion
things that I do?

1463
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:54,271
Oh, that's right.
Never.

1464
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:59,352
You have a parental
and legal responsibility

1465
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,273
to drop the kids off
at the designated time.

1466
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:03,634
Today is Saturday.

1467
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:05,517
We have them at noon.

1468
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:09,712
You have them tomorrow
on Mother's Day.

1469
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:11,936
Let's go, Mikey, time to go.
Do we have to?

1470
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:14,030
Yes, now, we do.
Where's your brother?

1471
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,076
He's on the slide.
Go get your stuff.

1472
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:19,550
Peter. Let's go.

1473
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:20,789
Get down here
right now.

1474
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:23,110
No way, I'm not leaving.
Mom said we can have fun.

1475
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,176
I don't care what your mom said.
I'm in charge now.

1476
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:26,936
I'm going to count to three
and then I'm coming up there,

1477
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:28,552
one, two, three.
Here I come.

1478
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:29,709
I'm coming up.

1479
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,150
Hey. Come on,
Peter. Peter!

1480
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:36,468
Got to catch me first.

1481
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:42,395
Go get your stuff!

1482
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:45,355
Hey, get your stuff.

1483
01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:47,056
Oh, sweetie, I wouldn't
touch that if I were... That...

1484
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:48,479
But I like orange.

1485
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:49,755
Damn it, Peter.

1486
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:50,909
Hey, we've got to go.

1487
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:53,878
Oh, well, in that case,
sure, you know, go ahead.

1488
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:57,079
What the...

1489
01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:58,240
Yo!

1490
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:02,395
Hello!

1491
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:04,630
Hey! This thing is... God.

1492
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:16,936
Welcome to the book
signing, everyone.

1493
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:18,996
We're here because there's
so few book stores left,

1494
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:20,280
but there will
always be books.

1495
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:24,273
Thank you very much.

1496
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:25,856
Who shall I
make it out to?

1497
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:27,359
Rory Schroeder.

1498
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:28,600
Rory.

1499
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,035
Every piece of jewelry I own
is from your collection.

1500
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,031
I love them,
and so does Jerald.

1501
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:34,758
But they look
better on me.

1502
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:36,959
Who shall I make it out to?

1503
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,109
Your daughter.

1504
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:50,310
So, tell me,
why now?

1505
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,231
Well, I just thought
because she was in Atlanta,

1506
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:56,515
it would be a good time.

1507
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:57,640
I see.

1508
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:00,176
You know, you're the fourth person
to say they're her daughter.

1509
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:03,476
Of course, after Forbes
listed Miranda as the top 50

1510
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:06,597
female entrepreneurs
in this country, how convenient.

1511
01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:08,989
I have this.

1512
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:16,631
Anybody could have forged
this and even if it's real,

1513
01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:18,360
you're not going to get
a dime out of her.

1514
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:23,235
Okay, this was
a mistake. I...

1515
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,096
Could you please
just let her know

1516
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:28,953
that I never wanted
anything from her?

1517
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:39,478
Well, that was historic.

1518
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,358
That was a historic
disaster.

1519
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:45,400
Oh...

1520
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,748
I mean, this is
all so stupid.

1521
01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:51,472
This is so stupid.

1522
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:53,516
Look at all this.
What am I doing?

1523
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:55,192
I mean, you know...

1524
01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:58,311
Ugh, I feel like
such an idiot.

1525
01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:01,392
So, what I'm basically doing
is I'm trying to compete

1526
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:04,552
with my ex-husband
and a 20-year-old.

1527
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:07,552
That just makes a lot
of sense, right, Jess?

1528
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:09,833
It's stupid.

1529
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,399
You know what it is?

1530
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:15,872
I just...
I just hate feeling so replaceable.

1531
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:18,994
Well, sadly we all are.

1532
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,588
Oh, geez, you scared
the crap out of me.

1533
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:23,354
I mean, we're
all replaceable.

1534
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:26,398
For every professional clown,
there's 100 hacks with a red nose and a wig

1535
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:27,480
waiting to do the job.

1536
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:30,310
Yeah, I understand.
Thanks, clown.

1537
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:31,709
Jesse?

1538
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,354
There's no way that the bond
you have with your kids

1539
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,919
can ever be broken.

1540
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:37,296
I mean, there's
no contest, right?

1541
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,356
You're their mom.
Mmm-hmm.

1542
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:40,595
Oh, let me help.

1543
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:42,680
Oh...

1544
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:46,075
Thank... Okay.

1545
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:49,988
Yeah? See?

1546
01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:53,072
It's this, I get it,
never-ending scarf bit.

1547
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,096
Yeah, it's the first time you
got to use this one today, huh?

1548
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:58,519
Ah...

1549
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:00,511
Got a smile from you.
That's great.

1550
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,192
Do you mind if I rub...

1551
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,679
Please.
Thank you very much.

1552
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:05,416
It's always the traditional
things that work,

1553
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,158
the bottomless
sleeve hanky,

1554
01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:09,196
the bottomless
cup of coffee,

1555
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:11,589
the bottomless love
from a mother to her kids.

1556
01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:16,035
They know it's there.
Sometimes they just take it for granted.

1557
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:17,520
Yeah.

1558
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:18,919
So what if
the other girl is 20,

1559
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,275
has great skin and probably
looks insane in a bikini?

1560
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:23,915
Okay, that's good,
I get it.

1561
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,080
Nice pep talk there, clown.

1562
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:27,714
Thank you, clown.

1563
01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:31,236
Never thought I'd ever hear myself
say that, but thank you, clown.

1564
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:32,594
My pleasure.

1565
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:38,120
Mmm.

1566
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:40,629
A heart-to-heart with a clown.

1567
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:43,631
There was not
a soul to see that.

1568
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,314
He could have murdered me.
Okay.

1569
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:49,074
Jesse, you home?

1570
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,151
Hey, I'm getting a beer!

1571
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:01,311
<i>Hello. Who are you?</i>

1572
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:03,353
Well, who are you?

1573
01:08:03,480 --> 01:08:05,550
<i>Sonia, mother of Russell.</i>

1574
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,836
Yeah, well, I'm Florence,
mother of Jesse.

1575
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:14,352
<i>Florence, nice to meet you!</i>

1576
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:19,638
<i>Ugh, I heard about your
surprise drop-in.</i>

1577
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:21,233
<i>Are you okay?</i>

1578
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:22,673
I think so.

1579
01:08:24,440 --> 01:08:25,668
I'm not real sure.

1580
01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:26,760
<i>Are you having a beer?</i>

1581
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:28,349
Yeah.

1582
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:29,869
<i>I think I'll join you.</i>

1583
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:35,114
<i>To say the truth,</i>

1584
01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:37,708
<i>when Russell told me he was
in love with a white girl,</i>

1585
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:39,279
<i>I wanted to punch a wall.</i>

1586
01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:41,032
Well, at least
you knew about it.

1587
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:42,275
<i>And then they eloped</i>

1588
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:44,096
<i>and they didn't even
invite me to the wedding.</i>

1589
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,394
<i>They didn't even tell me.</i>

1590
01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:48,398
Yeah, well, I'm double spitting
just thinking about it.

1591
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:53,079
Thought I was finished with them,

1592
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:54,388
but they're my baby girls.

1593
01:08:55,800 --> 01:09:00,510
<i>But, Florence, have you
seen our grandchild? Oh...</i>

1594
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:03,109
I get why they
call him Tanner.

1595
01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:04,832
He's a little dark.

1596
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:07,471
<i>I think he's a little light.</i>

1597
01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:09,472
Hey, what time
is it in India?

1598
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:11,312
<i>India? Who knows.</i>

1599
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:13,231
<i>I live here in Las Vegas.</i>

1600
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:17,518
<i>No taxes, and I play
the slots anytime I want.</i>

1601
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,472
Hey, smart move.

1602
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:21,630
Plus, you can drive 20
miles in any direction

1603
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:24,069
and find some sand
when you get homesick, right?

1604
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:27,710
<i>I don't get that joke,
but it sounds racist, and funny.</i>

1605
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:38,035
Hi, Grandma!

1606
01:09:38,520 --> 01:09:39,714
Hey.

1607
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,760
Could you watch Tanner a minute?
I have to go pee.

1608
01:09:42,240 --> 01:09:43,992
Thank you.

1609
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,273
Here we go!

1610
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:12,315
I think you look
a little like me.

1611
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:14,680
Uh-huh.

1612
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:16,359
Yes, you do.

1613
01:10:16,480 --> 01:10:18,198
I think you do.

1614
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:21,238
You look just like
me in the summertime.

1615
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,296
Lakens, thank you
so much for coming.

1616
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:39,639
We'll see you next time.

1617
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:42,151
Well, everything
looks good here.

1618
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:44,754
Will you be joining us for
tomorrow's Mother's Day brunch?

1619
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:46,353
No, I'm working.
Oh...

1620
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:47,754
Are you a mom?

1621
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:49,435
No.

1622
01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:53,630
I don't suppose you'd like
a complimentary mum for Mum's Day?

1623
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:55,389
No.

1624
01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:58,756
If you need anything,
just ask.

1625
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:04,673
I'm sorry to interrupt
your dinner, my dear.

1626
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:10,431
Fried green tomatoes.

1627
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:14,310
Lance, you're my agent and I love you,
which is an oxymoron,

1628
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:17,631
but if you are here for
some philosophical chat,

1629
01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:20,154
short, short would
be good here.

1630
01:11:20,680 --> 01:11:24,673
Yes, you know me as Lance Wallace,
agent to the stars.

1631
01:11:24,880 --> 01:11:26,359
You used to have
big stars.

1632
01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:27,600
Now you just have me.

1633
01:11:28,280 --> 01:11:29,280
Mmm.

1634
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:32,193
But you really know
I was born in the Bronx

1635
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:34,669
and my name was
Ramone Navarro,

1636
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:38,716
who collected empty soda
bottles to get money to eat.

1637
01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:43,709
We are who the world thinks we
are and sometimes, we're not.

1638
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:46,435
We decide who we are,

1639
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:49,512
when we want and
who we want to know.

1640
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,113
Or is it whom?

1641
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:55,719
Are you done, Ramone?

1642
01:11:57,080 --> 01:11:58,479
Just doing my job,
to make sure

1643
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:01,632
that nothing lowers
the kilowatts on that smile.

1644
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:03,600
Hmm.

1645
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:08,717
Oh, you're right, you're right,
that is the salad fork.

1646
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,320
Hey, change of plan.

1647
01:12:20,360 --> 01:12:21,509
I got the call.

1648
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:22,736
One of the girls
had to pull out.

1649
01:12:22,760 --> 01:12:25,228
She got a comedy
series for NBC.

1650
01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:26,918
It'll probably be canceled,
but anyway,

1651
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,479
I'm in the final tonight.

1652
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:29,629
Where are you?

1653
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,073
I've got Katie.

1654
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:32,269
She's fine.

1655
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:34,000
Bye.

1656
01:12:34,120 --> 01:12:35,560
<i>Good stuff.
Okay, next up.</i>

1657
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:42,115
Good night.

1658
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:45,760
Oh...

1659
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:48,871
I shouldn't be watching this.

1660
01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:53,149
Good night.

1661
01:12:55,440 --> 01:12:58,113
Good night.
Yeah, yeah, good night.

1662
01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:10,279
Good night.

1663
01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:20,760
I'm home.

1664
01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:22,193
Well, how...

1665
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,074
Good night.

1666
01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:32,591
You used to say good night.

1667
01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:36,473
It'd take you hours
to say good night, actually.

1668
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,515
Hey, honey,
where are you?

1669
01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:45,079
I'm getting worried.

1670
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:48,432
If you're thinking
of splitting, please don't.

1671
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:52,510
Let's just keep loving
each other and Katie.

1672
01:13:55,320 --> 01:13:56,833
I don't want to marry you.

1673
01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:59,435
<i>I mean, I do
want to marry you,</i>

1674
01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:01,670
<i>but we don't
have to get married.</i>

1675
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,955
<i>If you get this,
please come to the club.</i>

1676
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:05,359
<i>I love you.</i>

1677
01:14:08,200 --> 01:14:10,589
<i>This competition
is worth $5,000.</i>

1678
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:13,797
Zack Zim, you're in
the finals, by default.

1679
01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:15,836
Good for you.
Aw...

1680
01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:20,237
That is the most adorable
baby I've ever seen.

1681
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:22,240
Would you be able to watch
her while I do my set?

1682
01:14:22,280 --> 01:14:23,508
No.

1683
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:26,354
<i>Welcome to the stage,
Zack Zim.</i>

1684
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,016
Zack Zim, he's very...
Oh, that's you.

1685
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:30,632
All right, go on
out there, kid.

1686
01:14:30,720 --> 01:14:32,720
Come on, I'm rooting for you.
I'll be out in front.

1687
01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:39,557
<i>Uh...</i>

1688
01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:40,789
<i>Hello.</i>

1689
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:42,680
<i>Um...</i>

1690
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:44,319
<i>So, I'm Zack.</i>

1691
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:46,556
<i>Uh, this is Katie.</i>

1692
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,038
<i>Say hi.</i>

1693
01:14:49,720 --> 01:14:51,312
<i>She's a bit shy.</i>

1694
01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:55,715
<i>I'll just say this from the get-go,
this wasn't planned.</i>

1695
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,320
<i>Coming out here with
her wasn't planned,</i>

1696
01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:00,391
<i>not she wasn't planned,</i>

1697
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:03,239
<i>although to be fair,
you were a little bit of a surprise.</i>

1698
01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:04,395
<i>Didn't like that joke.</i>

1699
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:07,920
<i>Uh...</i>

1700
01:15:09,240 --> 01:15:11,993
<i>So, does anyone in
here have a baby?</i>

1701
01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:15,511
<i>No, obviously you don't.</i>

1702
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:17,431
<i>You're here having a life.</i>

1703
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:21,275
<i>No, don't cry, stop crying.</i>

1704
01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:24,113
<i>Five grand at stake.</i>

1705
01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:27,277
<i>Mate, would you mind
holding her for a sec?</i>

1706
01:15:28,520 --> 01:15:29,589
<i>What's your name, pal?</i>

1707
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:30,680
Tiny.

1708
01:15:30,760 --> 01:15:32,016
<i>Tiny, if you don't
mind me saying,</i>

1709
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:34,270
<i>you look like you have
a very welcoming bosom.</i>

1710
01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:36,878
<i>May I rest my child on it?</i>

1711
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:37,995
Sure.

1712
01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:39,120
<i>Just for a sec, thank you.</i>

1713
01:15:56,280 --> 01:16:00,034
<i>I mean, I don't know whether to be
pleased or just deeply offended.</i>

1714
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:02,631
<i>How did you do that?</i>

1715
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:05,870
I'm soft, like a couch.

1716
01:16:05,960 --> 01:16:08,155
<i>Please, will you
come and live with us?</i>

1717
01:16:08,240 --> 01:16:09,309
<i>I'm deadly serious.</i>

1718
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:11,635
<i>I haven't slept in a year.</i>

1719
01:16:11,720 --> 01:16:12,789
<i>I'll take the couch.</i>

1720
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:14,478
<i>My girlfriend's
very attractive.</i>

1721
01:16:14,640 --> 01:16:16,471
Can your girlfriend
take the couch?

1722
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:18,558
<i>Oh, my girlfriend, yes.</i>

1723
01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:19,959
That's my sister.

1724
01:16:21,760 --> 01:16:25,230
<i>Hey, can everyone please give it
up for the world's biggest nanny?</i>

1725
01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:27,237
<i>Well done.</i>

1726
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:29,072
Thank you.
I'll take her back.

1727
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:32,840
Bye.

1728
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:35,160
Thank you.
Call me.

1729
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,279
Whoa.

1730
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:46,718
<i>You know, being a dad
does change you.</i>

1731
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:48,711
<i>I worry all the time.</i>

1732
01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:50,552
<i>Do I know when she's tired?</i>

1733
01:16:50,640 --> 01:16:52,198
<i>Not really.</i>

1734
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:53,474
<i>When she's about to be sick?</i>

1735
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:55,348
<i>Definitely not.</i>

1736
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:58,348
<i>This is the last
good shirt that I own.</i>

1737
01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:02,472
<i>But her mother knows,</i>

1738
01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:05,199
<i>because in every
atom of their body,</i>

1739
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:09,792
<i>they know what's right for their
children and for their families.</i>

1740
01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:14,199
<i>Anyway, speaking of parents,
I better get this one back to hers.</i>

1741
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:17,200
<i>Hey, guys,
thank you very much.</i>

1742
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:19,390
<i>I've been Zack Zim,
and this has been Katie.</i>

1743
01:17:23,760 --> 01:17:25,398
Aw, what a cute baby.

1744
01:17:25,480 --> 01:17:26,833
I love babies.

1745
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:28,717
We can have one
if you want.

1746
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:30,752
It's our first date.

1747
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:32,956
So, what are you
doing tomorrow?

1748
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:34,314
Shut up.

1749
01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:35,669
I was freaking out.

1750
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:37,432
I thought you bailed.
Where were you?

1751
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:41,229
I'm sorry, you know, usual stuff,
meeting my real mom.

1752
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:42,548
Your mom, what?

1753
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:43,640
Yeah, it was awful.

1754
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:44,760
Awful?

1755
01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:47,638
Just really made me appreciate
what I have. Totally.

1756
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:50,072
You're the best.

1757
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:53,149
<i>We have
a unanimous winner.</i>

1758
01:17:53,720 --> 01:17:55,438
<i>Katie Zim.</i>

1759
01:17:57,560 --> 01:17:59,357
<i>Oh, and that guy
with her. Come on up.</i>

1760
01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:00,936
Oh, my God.
Wait, wait, wait, take her.

1761
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,428
She won, you just
held her props, really.

1762
01:18:04,760 --> 01:18:05,896
So, wait, your actual mother?

1763
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:08,115
Just go get it.
Go, go, go, go, go.

1764
01:18:11,480 --> 01:18:12,708
<i>Congratulations!</i>

1765
01:18:14,040 --> 01:18:15,268
<i>Zack Zim!</i>

1766
01:18:16,160 --> 01:18:18,116
<i>Yeah, we each
got our babies.</i>

1767
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:31,112
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day!

1768
01:18:31,600 --> 01:18:33,909
What? Oh, my God.

1769
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:37,959
You guys...
You guys are the cutest.

1770
01:18:38,040 --> 01:18:40,600
The banana was my idea,
you know, to stay healthy.

1771
01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:43,039
It's perfect.
I love it.

1772
01:18:43,120 --> 01:18:44,678
Are those M&M pancakes?

1773
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:46,637
Yeah.
Oh, boy.

1774
01:18:46,720 --> 01:18:47,755
Open my gift.

1775
01:18:47,840 --> 01:18:49,239
Okay, okay, okay.

1776
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:51,315
Why?

1777
01:18:54,600 --> 01:18:59,754
That's the coolest potato man ever,
period, end of story.

1778
01:19:01,640 --> 01:19:03,039
That's awesome.

1779
01:19:05,560 --> 01:19:07,710
"Thanks for all
that you do.

1780
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:09,233
"We appreciate you.

1781
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:11,311
"Happy Mother's Day, Tina."

1782
01:19:12,160 --> 01:19:14,151
You gave her the
wrong gift, you dork.

1783
01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:15,639
Oops, sorry, Mom.

1784
01:19:15,720 --> 01:19:17,676
Oh, that's okay.
That's okay.

1785
01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:19,679
I love you, Mom.

1786
01:19:20,320 --> 01:19:22,276
Thank you. I love you.
This one's for you.

1787
01:19:22,400 --> 01:19:24,675
Okay, okay.

1788
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:28,715
This is better
than the first one.

1789
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:29,915
It's even better.

1790
01:19:30,560 --> 01:19:31,560
That's sweet.

1791
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:34,480
I love him.
Thank you so much.

1792
01:19:35,240 --> 01:19:36,389
This is for you.

1793
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:37,674
Thanks, babe.

1794
01:19:37,760 --> 01:19:40,035
Did you get
a card for Tina, too?

1795
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,350
Yeah, but a totally
different one.

1796
01:19:43,760 --> 01:19:45,796
I can throw Tina's
away if you want.

1797
01:19:48,280 --> 01:19:49,395
No.

1798
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:52,117
No, no, no, no,
I don't want you to do that.

1799
01:19:52,480 --> 01:19:53,913
But you're so sad.

1800
01:19:58,680 --> 01:20:01,114
Oh, okay, listen, here,
take this over there for a second.

1801
01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:02,200
Get in here.

1802
01:20:02,560 --> 01:20:03,709
Get in here.

1803
01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:08,912
Vicky, Rachel,
where are you guys?

1804
01:20:10,360 --> 01:20:13,511
Come on, let's wake up,
have a little breakfast, huh?

1805
01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:19,155
Guys, don't make me
come up there.

1806
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,479
It's too late.

1807
01:20:21,560 --> 01:20:23,915
Come on,
let's go, up and at 'em.

1808
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:26,435
Hey.

1809
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:29,276
Hey, Vicky!

1810
01:20:29,720 --> 01:20:32,473
Rachel, where are you?

1811
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:35,456
Hey, Kimberly,
I can't talk right now.

1812
01:20:35,480 --> 01:20:36,696
I don't know
where my girls are.

1813
01:20:36,720 --> 01:20:38,278
The girls are with me.

1814
01:20:38,360 --> 01:20:39,680
What are you
talking about, where?

1815
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:46,595
I love you so much,

1816
01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:51,391
and, you know, it's just...
It's hard to share, you know?

1817
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:54,792
Sort of like how you feel about your
LEGO pirate ship.

1818
01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:57,189
You know how you didn't
want anyone to touch it?

1819
01:20:57,720 --> 01:21:00,029
Yeah, well,
that's kind of how I feel.

1820
01:21:00,960 --> 01:21:02,678
But you remember
how good you felt

1821
01:21:02,760 --> 01:21:04,512
when you saw
how happy Nick was

1822
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:08,115
when he was able to walk
Peg Leg down the plank?

1823
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:09,669
Right?

1824
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:13,870
Yeah, that's because it's really,
really good to share.

1825
01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:14,995
It's really good.

1826
01:21:17,160 --> 01:21:18,718
In fact, as I say this,
you know what,

1827
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:23,316
I think I'm going to take you over to
Daddy's a little later on today, okay?

1828
01:21:24,240 --> 01:21:28,756
So you can give Tina
her awesome potato man.

1829
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:31,112
You're really
going to share?

1830
01:21:31,240 --> 01:21:32,639
Yeah.

1831
01:21:32,880 --> 01:21:36,839
Yep, I'm going to
share, for an hour.

1832
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:39,592
An hour, maybe two.
I'll see how I feel.

1833
01:21:39,680 --> 01:21:40,720
How do you
feel about that?

1834
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:42,159
Yeah.
Yeah?

1835
01:21:48,240 --> 01:21:50,296
We're gonna grab some lunch
and we'll see you at the parade.

1836
01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:51,753
Have fun.

1837
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:52,989
Bye, Max.

1838
01:21:55,560 --> 01:21:57,278
Were you summoned, too?

1839
01:21:57,360 --> 01:21:59,828
Yep, just wondering if I'm
going to get an opportunity

1840
01:21:59,920 --> 01:22:01,512
to have a last meal.

1841
01:22:01,600 --> 01:22:03,113
Doubtful.

1842
01:22:03,200 --> 01:22:06,192
I mean, they can't
ground us anymore, can they?

1843
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:10,991
You lied to your mother.

1844
01:22:11,080 --> 01:22:13,913
Mom made me live
alone in college

1845
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,120
'cause she didn't want me to
have a minority roommate.

1846
01:22:16,200 --> 01:22:17,816
Yeah, and she spanked me when
I said I wanted to dress up

1847
01:22:17,840 --> 01:22:18,909
like a guy for Halloween.

1848
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:22,913
I didn't think Liberace was an
appropriate costume for a little girl.

1849
01:22:26,200 --> 01:22:27,336
Do they
know we're coming?

1850
01:22:27,360 --> 01:22:29,351
Yeah,
I called Daddy earlier.

1851
01:22:34,400 --> 01:22:36,595
I'll pick you up tonight,
just before dinner, okay?

1852
01:22:36,720 --> 01:22:38,950
Bye, Mom.
Bye, I love you.

1853
01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:40,874
Have fun.

1854
01:22:52,040 --> 01:22:53,393
I'm so happy to see you.

1855
01:22:53,480 --> 01:22:54,549
Hi, hi.

1856
01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:56,279
What's that?

1857
01:22:56,400 --> 01:22:58,231
For me? Oh, my gosh.

1858
01:22:58,320 --> 01:23:00,470
A surprise.
Thank you so much.

1859
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:01,879
Thank you.

1860
01:23:05,760 --> 01:23:07,512
Happy Mother's Day.

1861
01:23:24,800 --> 01:23:26,199
We love you.

1862
01:23:52,480 --> 01:23:55,392
<i>Russell, it's Jesse.</i>

1863
01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:57,596
<i>I'm leaving to go live
with my parents for a while</i>

1864
01:23:57,720 --> 01:24:00,029
<i>and I'm taking Tanner
with me. Bye.</i>

1865
01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:03,317
Wait, wait, wait,
hold on, hold on!

1866
01:24:03,440 --> 01:24:08,798
Hey, hold on, wait,
hold on, I'm coming!

1867
01:24:09,280 --> 01:24:12,716
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
stop, stop, stop, stop,

1868
01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:16,156
stop, wait, hold on, hold on,
wait a minute, let me in,

1869
01:24:17,040 --> 01:24:19,713
stop, stop, stop,
hold on, hold on!

1870
01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:21,393
Wait a minute!

1871
01:24:22,320 --> 01:24:23,320
Where's Tanner?

1872
01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:24,680
Relax, he's with
Max and Charlie.

1873
01:24:24,720 --> 01:24:25,789
Nice robe.

1874
01:24:26,520 --> 01:24:28,476
We just said it
to get you in here.

1875
01:24:29,160 --> 01:24:30,559
Oh, great, another lie.

1876
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:33,029
Yeah, is this your
new thing now? Bye.

1877
01:24:33,160 --> 01:24:35,628
<i>Russell, we would
like to thank you for coming.</i>

1878
01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:38,355
Mom? You're in on this?

1879
01:24:38,480 --> 01:24:41,199
<i>Maybe if you would call me more often,
you would know me better.</i>

1880
01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:44,471
<i>Russell, I know I make jokes about Jesse,
but I love her.</i>

1881
01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:48,354
<i>So, Flo and I thought you two
should kiss and make up.</i>

1882
01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:53,079
No, no, because
she's a liar.

1883
01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:55,958
She's a lying,
lying liar, okay?

1884
01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:58,349
And besides,
scaring me to get me in here

1885
01:24:58,440 --> 01:25:00,954
is not a good way to start
a conversation, okay?

1886
01:25:01,040 --> 01:25:02,473
Have fun. I'm leaving.

1887
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:04,198
Not unless you're
going to jump.

1888
01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:07,231
Dad, what are you doing?
Slow down!

1889
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:08,509
Oh, come on.

1890
01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:10,428
Where are we going?

1891
01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:12,216
All right,
this is crazy, all right?

1892
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:13,656
She lied about everything.
You know what?

1893
01:25:13,680 --> 01:25:16,353
If I was your parents,
I would have been home by now.

1894
01:25:16,440 --> 01:25:20,228
If this sucker hadn't had all those
repairs, we would have been.

1895
01:25:20,520 --> 01:25:21,800
Actually,
that would be my fault.

1896
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:22,880
How?

1897
01:25:22,960 --> 01:25:24,760
I kind of told Charlie
to mess with the engine

1898
01:25:24,800 --> 01:25:26,438
so Grandma and Grandpa
couldn't get home.

1899
01:25:26,520 --> 01:25:28,909
The flat tire was
just bad luck, or good.

1900
01:25:29,040 --> 01:25:30,439
You did that for us?

1901
01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:31,835
Forget that.

1902
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:34,514
I'm impressed that he knew
so much about engines.

1903
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:36,238
Yeah, he really does.

1904
01:25:37,720 --> 01:25:39,676
Honey, please forgive me.

1905
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:42,479
I promise, I will never,
ever lie to you, ever again.

1906
01:25:42,560 --> 01:25:44,232
I just... I cross my heart.

1907
01:25:45,720 --> 01:25:47,438
You promise?
Promise.

1908
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:50,039
Okay, I forgive you.
You do?

1909
01:25:50,120 --> 01:25:52,315
No, I'm lying.
You see how that feels?

1910
01:25:54,920 --> 01:25:58,151
Uh, sorry to interrupt your moment,
but this ain't good.

1911
01:25:58,240 --> 01:25:59,309
What?

1912
01:25:59,400 --> 01:26:02,517
The brakes are out and we're
going pretty damn fast.

1913
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:04,716
I swear, Charlie did not
mess with the brakes.

1914
01:26:04,800 --> 01:26:06,640
No, no, I was
supposed to get them fixed,

1915
01:26:06,680 --> 01:26:09,752
but I took the money and I
spent it at the dog track!

1916
01:26:12,640 --> 01:26:13,960
Look out
for the garbage.

1917
01:26:16,080 --> 01:26:18,514
<i>Hey, what is happening?</i>

1918
01:26:19,160 --> 01:26:20,639
<i>Where did everybody go?</i>

1919
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:22,115
Jesse, stay down.

1920
01:26:22,280 --> 01:26:23,599
Stay under me!

1921
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:25,558
Hey, that's Grandma's house.

1922
01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:27,392
So it is. Let's check it out.

1923
01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:36,079
They made a womb
float for Mother's Day?

1924
01:26:36,160 --> 01:26:38,879
I can't wait to see
what they do for Father's Day.

1925
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:46,560
Hello, Marvin, you got
a two-vehicle pursuit.

1926
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:51,435
One is an RV from Texas and the
other one is big and pink.

1927
01:26:54,960 --> 01:26:56,279
Slow down!

1928
01:26:57,960 --> 01:27:00,349
Oh, my gosh.
Okay, we're in pursuit.

1929
01:27:00,680 --> 01:27:01,680
Whoa!

1930
01:27:08,360 --> 01:27:11,591
Earl, Jesse, Gabi,
I love you! Russell?

1931
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:12,680
Yeah.

1932
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:14,393
Nice to meet you.

1933
01:27:14,480 --> 01:27:16,118
We're going to
hit real hard.

1934
01:27:16,200 --> 01:27:17,235
No!

1935
01:27:19,720 --> 01:27:20,720
Huh?

1936
01:27:21,560 --> 01:27:26,156
Well, uh, that wasn't
so hard, now, was it?

1937
01:27:27,160 --> 01:27:28,479
Everybody all right?

1938
01:27:28,560 --> 01:27:29,800
What
the hell happened?

1939
01:27:30,880 --> 01:27:33,189
Nothing. I lied.

1940
01:27:33,720 --> 01:27:35,073
The brakes were fixed.

1941
01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:39,318
The fear of death brings
everyone closer together.

1942
01:27:40,760 --> 01:27:43,718
Welcome, welcome to my family.

1943
01:27:44,240 --> 01:27:45,992
Everybody
out of the vehicle.

1944
01:27:47,000 --> 01:27:48,115
Let's go.

1945
01:27:49,240 --> 01:27:51,037
Okay, we're coming. Hi.

1946
01:27:51,200 --> 01:27:52,428
Out of the vehicle.

1947
01:27:53,400 --> 01:27:55,197
Get your hands up
where we can see them.

1948
01:27:55,280 --> 01:27:56,554
You guys okay?

1949
01:27:56,680 --> 01:27:58,477
Hello, officers,
how are you doing?

1950
01:27:58,560 --> 01:27:59,696
Mom,
just put your hands up.

1951
01:27:59,720 --> 01:28:02,439
Spread your legs.

1952
01:28:03,240 --> 01:28:04,275
Anybody else?

1953
01:28:05,800 --> 01:28:07,358
Hi, it's just me.

1954
01:28:09,880 --> 01:28:11,108
Get on the ground.

1955
01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:12,713
On the ground!

1956
01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:14,233
Get on the ground!

1957
01:28:14,760 --> 01:28:16,352
On the ground!

1958
01:28:17,360 --> 01:28:19,954
Sir, that is my husband!

1959
01:28:20,040 --> 01:28:22,270
Officer, I don't
really appreciate

1960
01:28:22,400 --> 01:28:24,550
how you're treating
my son-in-law.

1961
01:28:25,640 --> 01:28:27,710
Wait, it's okay,
you guys, this is my doctor.

1962
01:28:27,800 --> 01:28:29,392
He fixed my knee.

1963
01:28:29,760 --> 01:28:30,988
Hi, Dr. Kohli.

1964
01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:32,549
Hey, Danielle.

1965
01:28:33,240 --> 01:28:34,912
Finally, somebody
stands up.

1966
01:28:35,080 --> 01:28:37,310
Oh, boy, you okay, Russell?

1967
01:28:37,400 --> 01:28:38,628
Yeah, I'm all right.
All right.

1968
01:28:38,720 --> 01:28:41,234
Well, I never thought I'd have
to say this in the line of duty,

1969
01:28:41,320 --> 01:28:44,596
but who's got the
registration for the vagina?

1970
01:28:44,720 --> 01:28:47,393
We do. But we already
missed the parade.

1971
01:28:47,480 --> 01:28:48,993
There's a parade
of vaginas?

1972
01:28:49,080 --> 01:28:50,433
Yup, there sure was.

1973
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:53,152
Well, that's okay.

1974
01:28:53,240 --> 01:28:55,595
Now we can have
a real family picnic together.

1975
01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:57,990
Love you, too, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day.

1976
01:28:58,280 --> 01:28:59,599
Did she just kiss me?

1977
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:01,896
We missed the parade,
but we're gonna have a picnic!

1978
01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:03,638
I'm proud of you, Earl.

1979
01:29:04,240 --> 01:29:05,958
Oh, thank you, Fluffy.

1980
01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:13,356
Thanks for
taking us, Kimberly.

1981
01:29:13,440 --> 01:29:14,668
Oh, and for brunch, too.

1982
01:29:14,760 --> 01:29:16,398
I bet my dad's
going to kill you.

1983
01:29:16,480 --> 01:29:18,232
Please, I can handle him.

1984
01:29:18,320 --> 01:29:20,072
I am a pole dancer.

1985
01:29:20,160 --> 01:29:21,752
Bring it on!

1986
01:29:28,440 --> 01:29:33,275
Wow. I think your daddy used his
veteran's discount at ProFlowers.

1987
01:29:34,000 --> 01:29:35,194
Surprise!

1988
01:29:37,760 --> 01:29:39,910
Dad, what is all this?

1989
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,594
Oh, this is everything they
had left at the flower shop.

1990
01:29:43,280 --> 01:29:45,316
Okay, but why is it here?

1991
01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:47,656
I thought it was about time we
started celebrating Mother's Day.

1992
01:29:47,680 --> 01:29:49,033
I better go
find my babies.

1993
01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:54,915
And for my first surprise, for the
youngest, Vicky, <i>voilà.</i>

1994
01:29:55,080 --> 01:29:56,229
Oh.
Whoa.

1995
01:29:56,680 --> 01:29:58,159
A karaoke machine!

1996
01:29:58,240 --> 01:29:59,719
That's right, yes.

1997
01:30:00,760 --> 01:30:02,671
Young lady,
that's for you.

1998
01:30:08,840 --> 01:30:11,991
But these are...
These are Mom's car keys.

1999
01:30:12,360 --> 01:30:14,555
Yeah, I sold the car anyway,

2000
01:30:14,640 --> 01:30:16,676
but figured you'd
want the keys.

2001
01:30:17,840 --> 01:30:19,512
Kidding, you get
the car, too.

2002
01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:21,870
Oh, my God, thank you.

2003
01:30:22,440 --> 01:30:23,919
You're very welcome.

2004
01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:25,069
Thank you.

2005
01:30:25,760 --> 01:30:28,149
Look at this place.

2006
01:30:33,520 --> 01:30:34,520
Mmm.

2007
01:30:34,760 --> 01:30:36,796
Dad, did you invite him?

2008
01:30:36,880 --> 01:30:37,915
No.

2009
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:41,231
No, I hired him
to run the punch bowl.

2010
01:30:41,320 --> 01:30:43,276
Okay.
Yeah.

2011
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:45,510
I'm going to go
get some punch.

2012
01:30:45,600 --> 01:30:46,635
All right.

2013
01:30:50,240 --> 01:30:52,151
Hey.
Hey.

2014
01:30:52,240 --> 01:30:53,856
Thanks for coming
on such short notice.

2015
01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:55,757
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.

2016
01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:57,239
I am.
Thank you.

2017
01:30:57,560 --> 01:30:58,788
Hi.
Hey, neighbor.

2018
01:30:58,880 --> 01:31:00,359
Hey.
Hi, I'm Lexy.

2019
01:31:00,520 --> 01:31:01,635
Lexy.

2020
01:31:01,800 --> 01:31:04,678
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well.

2021
01:31:04,760 --> 01:31:06,160
Um, yeah, well,
please help yourself

2022
01:31:06,200 --> 01:31:08,760
to the punch and smell
the flowers. Go nuts.

2023
01:31:08,840 --> 01:31:11,035
That's the sexy mom
we were telling you about.

2024
01:31:11,120 --> 01:31:12,872
Oh, that makes sense,
okay, yeah.

2025
01:31:12,960 --> 01:31:16,077
Well, that might be a little too
much for me right now, you know?

2026
01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:17,309
Fair enough.
Mmm-hmm.

2027
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:18,680
I'm going to
keep trying, though.

2028
01:31:18,720 --> 01:31:20,392
No, please do.
That's a great start.

2029
01:31:20,480 --> 01:31:21,480
Hey.

2030
01:31:22,680 --> 01:31:23,680
Wow!

2031
01:31:23,760 --> 01:31:24,909
Do you know
what it is?

2032
01:31:25,040 --> 01:31:26,075
No.

2033
01:31:26,160 --> 01:31:27,593
It's a karaoke machine.

2034
01:31:27,680 --> 01:31:29,432
That's cool.
What's that button do?

2035
01:31:29,520 --> 01:31:31,476
That's an echo,
so it makes it sound like...

2036
01:31:32,840 --> 01:31:35,195
My God, you people
on steroids?

2037
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:39,159
Wait, hello, Tina?

2038
01:31:39,240 --> 01:31:40,936
<i>It's me. I really need your help right now.</i>
What?

2039
01:31:40,960 --> 01:31:42,976
<i>I don't know what to do.</i>
Wait, Tina, slow down. What's wrong?

2040
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:44,592
<i>What's wrong?</i>
It's Mikey.

2041
01:31:44,720 --> 01:31:45,948
He can't breathe.

2042
01:31:46,040 --> 01:31:47,871
Okay, that's his asthma.

2043
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:50,136
No, I know, Henry warned me
that it's bad this time of year

2044
01:31:50,160 --> 01:31:51,216
and there's a lot of ragweed.

2045
01:31:51,240 --> 01:31:53,037
Where's his inhaler?

2046
01:31:53,120 --> 01:31:55,475
It's here, but it's empty
and I can't find the backup.

2047
01:31:55,560 --> 01:31:56,560
Where's Henry?

2048
01:31:56,640 --> 01:31:58,471
He's at the store
and he's not answering.

2049
01:31:58,560 --> 01:32:00,869
All right, just take him
to the freezer.

2050
01:32:00,960 --> 01:32:01,995
<i>He's not hungry.</i>

2051
01:32:02,120 --> 01:32:03,120
I know he's not hungry.

2052
01:32:03,200 --> 01:32:05,296
It's just that breathing in the
cold air really helps him,

2053
01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:06,355
so just go, go, go, go.

2054
01:32:06,440 --> 01:32:08,096
<i>Let's go the freezer, okay?
You're going to be okay.</i>

2055
01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:11,112
You're going to be fine.
Yeah, just breathe this in.

2056
01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:12,872
Okay, all right.

2057
01:32:12,960 --> 01:32:14,837
Oh, my gosh,
Sandy, I am so scared.

2058
01:32:14,920 --> 01:32:15,920
I know, I know.

2059
01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:18,230
Listen, I keep a spare inhaler
in his backpack.

2060
01:32:18,800 --> 01:32:22,679
Okay, yep. I got it.
I'll put you on speaker.

2061
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:25,069
Okay, where?

2062
01:32:25,160 --> 01:32:26,878
Okay. There are four pockets.

2063
01:32:26,960 --> 01:32:28,678
It's in the one
that has the rat on it.

2064
01:32:28,960 --> 01:32:30,320
There's no zipper
on the rat.

2065
01:32:30,720 --> 01:32:31,840
It's on the side of the rat!

2066
01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:33,791
<i>It's on the side
of the rat, sorry.</i>

2067
01:32:36,760 --> 01:32:38,716
It's all right, I got you.

2068
01:32:38,800 --> 01:32:40,392
I got you.
Come here, buddy.

2069
01:32:40,480 --> 01:32:41,976
Here you go.
Come on, come on. I got you.

2070
01:32:42,000 --> 01:32:43,319
<i>I want Mommy.</i>

2071
01:32:43,400 --> 01:32:45,470
Okay, Mommy's coming, honey.
You're okay.

2072
01:32:45,600 --> 01:32:48,160
<i>Daddy's going to make
you feel all better, you know that.</i>

2073
01:32:48,680 --> 01:32:51,399
Okay, give him three puffs
and then give him three more

2074
01:32:51,480 --> 01:32:53,550
in 30 minutes if he needs it, okay?

2075
01:32:55,440 --> 01:32:57,576
I don't like his color.
I'm going to take him to the ER.

2076
01:32:57,600 --> 01:32:59,800
All right, then go.
Just go, go and I'll meet you there.

2077
01:33:00,760 --> 01:33:01,875
Get his stuff.

2078
01:33:06,520 --> 01:33:08,511
<i>Hey, DJ, hit it.</i>

2079
01:33:09,840 --> 01:33:11,159
<i>Here we go.</i>

2080
01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:12,794
<i>All right!
Stop whatcha doin'</i>

2081
01:33:12,880 --> 01:33:13,949
<i>'Cause I'm
about to ruin</i>

2082
01:33:14,040 --> 01:33:15,917
<i>The image and the
style that ya used to</i>

2083
01:33:16,000 --> 01:33:17,353
<i>I look funny, right?</i>

2084
01:33:17,440 --> 01:33:18,953
<i>But, yo, I'm makin '
money, see?</i>

2085
01:33:19,040 --> 01:33:20,712
<i>So, yo world I hope
you're ready for me</i>

2086
01:33:20,800 --> 01:33:23,394
<i>My name is Humpty
Pronounced with a "umpty"</i>

2087
01:33:23,480 --> 01:33:26,597
<i>Yo, moms Oh, how I
like to love thee</i>

2088
01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:28,432
<i>And all the fathers
in the Top 10</i>

2089
01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:30,112
<i>Please allow me
to bump thee</i>

2090
01:33:30,200 --> 01:33:32,714
<i>I'm steppin ' tall, y'all
And just like Humpty Dumpty</i>

2091
01:33:32,800 --> 01:33:35,109
<i>You're gonna fall
when the stereos pump me</i>

2092
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:37,111
<i>I'm still rockin '
these pink pants</i>

2093
01:33:37,200 --> 01:33:38,792
<i>And I even got
my own dance</i>

2094
01:33:38,880 --> 01:33:41,792
<i>The Humpty Dance is your
chance to do the hump</i>

2095
01:33:41,880 --> 01:33:43,279
<i>That's right, folks,
help me out.</i>

2096
01:33:43,840 --> 01:33:45,956
<i>- Do me, baby!
- Do the Humpty hump</i>

2097
01:33:46,040 --> 01:33:49,032
Girls, get up here.
Dance with your old man. Come on.

2098
01:33:49,880 --> 01:33:50,949
<i>Do the Humpty hump</i>

2099
01:33:51,040 --> 01:33:54,191
<i>Watch me do the Humpty hump
Yeah, yeah. Uh!</i>

2100
01:33:54,280 --> 01:33:55,793
<i>Do the Humpty hump</i>

2101
01:33:56,520 --> 01:33:57,520
Watch me...

2102
01:33:58,560 --> 01:34:00,152
Where'd he go?

2103
01:34:00,440 --> 01:34:01,440
Dad!

2104
01:34:01,560 --> 01:34:02,834
Are you okay, Dad?

2105
01:34:02,920 --> 01:34:04,120
Yeah,
I'm okay, Vicky.

2106
01:34:04,200 --> 01:34:05,758
Rachel, how does my leg look?

2107
01:34:05,840 --> 01:34:06,875
Great, Dad.

2108
01:34:06,960 --> 01:34:07,995
What about my right leg?

2109
01:34:08,120 --> 01:34:09,439
Someone call 911.

2110
01:34:09,520 --> 01:34:11,431
See what happens when
you let white boys rap?

2111
01:34:12,560 --> 01:34:13,754
<i>There you go, folks.</i>

2112
01:34:13,880 --> 01:34:14,995
<i>Happy Mother's Day.</i>

2113
01:34:17,880 --> 01:34:19,950
Don't move, Dad.
I'm coming down.

2114
01:34:20,480 --> 01:34:23,552
Rach, it might be time to
practice driving to the hospital.

2115
01:34:29,400 --> 01:34:30,435
Got it.

2116
01:34:32,960 --> 01:34:34,632
I hope it's
okay that I'm here.

2117
01:34:35,960 --> 01:34:38,520
I knew it was you
the moment I saw you.

2118
01:34:43,320 --> 01:34:45,914
We were 16 and in love.

2119
01:34:47,080 --> 01:34:48,354
What, puppy love?

2120
01:34:48,440 --> 01:34:51,637
No, true love, epic,

2121
01:34:51,720 --> 01:34:55,952
"plan your whole life
around it" kind of love,

2122
01:34:56,040 --> 01:34:57,598
and then there was you.

2123
01:34:58,800 --> 01:35:01,633
His family moved to another city
the day we gave them the news

2124
01:35:01,720 --> 01:35:05,633
and my parents pulled me
out of school for a year.

2125
01:35:05,760 --> 01:35:08,672
My mother never really
looked at me the same again.

2126
01:35:10,800 --> 01:35:12,950
Forever disappointed,
I think.

2127
01:35:17,240 --> 01:35:18,639
It was never
even a consideration

2128
01:35:18,720 --> 01:35:20,096
if I would get to
keep you, actually.

2129
01:35:20,120 --> 01:35:23,795
She said she found a nice
family that lived in Hawaii.

2130
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:27,878
They weren't nice.
They were wonderful.

2131
01:35:27,960 --> 01:35:29,632
I know they've passed.
I'm sorry.

2132
01:35:31,320 --> 01:35:34,312
My parents are gone, too.

2133
01:35:34,400 --> 01:35:37,790
It's just you and me.

2134
01:35:41,520 --> 01:35:44,796
Part of the deal
was that they would

2135
01:35:44,880 --> 01:35:48,668
send me a picture
of you every year

2136
01:35:48,760 --> 01:35:55,518
so that I could
just see that you were okay.

2137
01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:02,557
Wow. What?

2138
01:36:17,640 --> 01:36:19,119
I don't understand.

2139
01:36:20,680 --> 01:36:22,033
Why didn't you
ever contact me?

2140
01:36:26,880 --> 01:36:28,518
That was the other
part of the deal.

2141
01:36:33,040 --> 01:36:38,034
So, I lost my
true love and you,

2142
01:36:38,120 --> 01:36:41,510
and I didn't want
to replace that,

2143
01:36:41,600 --> 01:36:47,516
so I went for a
career and that is what I have.

2144
01:36:51,920 --> 01:36:53,069
What is that?

2145
01:36:53,960 --> 01:36:55,712
That's your granddaughter.

2146
01:36:58,280 --> 01:36:59,759
That's my
boyfriend, Zack.

2147
01:37:01,800 --> 01:37:05,918
Katie, I want you to
meet someone special.

2148
01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:07,592
This is Katie.

2149
01:37:07,680 --> 01:37:11,878
Katie, do you
want to meet someone?

2150
01:37:13,240 --> 01:37:14,309
Yes.

2151
01:37:19,680 --> 01:37:22,240
That's your grandma.

2152
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:24,149
Hello.

2153
01:37:39,640 --> 01:37:41,278
Hey, how is he?
He's good.

2154
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:43,120
He's back to his normal self.
Oh, thank God.

2155
01:37:43,160 --> 01:37:45,176
They're supposed to be bringing him out.
I'm going to go check.

2156
01:37:45,200 --> 01:37:47,077
Thank God. Oh, good.

2157
01:37:47,280 --> 01:37:48,349
Hi.

2158
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:50,558
Hi. You okay?
Hi.

2159
01:37:50,640 --> 01:37:51,959
Yes.

2160
01:37:52,040 --> 01:37:54,998
Sandy, I am so sorry.
Yeah.

2161
01:37:55,080 --> 01:37:56,456
I don't know what
happened to his inhaler.

2162
01:37:56,480 --> 01:37:57,993
That's why we have
a backup.

2163
01:37:58,200 --> 01:38:00,031
Your middle name
is now backup.

2164
01:38:00,120 --> 01:38:02,714
Okay. I just...
I really panicked.

2165
01:38:02,800 --> 01:38:03,800
I know.

2166
01:38:03,880 --> 01:38:05,199
How do you
stay so calm?

2167
01:38:05,280 --> 01:38:09,751
Well, Tina, it just
takes time.

2168
01:38:09,840 --> 01:38:11,990
It's time.
I mean, Peter's...

2169
01:38:12,080 --> 01:38:13,559
Thirteen.
How old?

2170
01:38:13,640 --> 01:38:14,640
How old are you?
Thirteen.

2171
01:38:14,720 --> 01:38:17,154
Thirteen. It takes
13 years, you know?

2172
01:38:17,240 --> 01:38:18,958
So, just give
yourself a break.

2173
01:38:19,080 --> 01:38:21,120
Otherwise, you're going
to really wear yourself down

2174
01:38:21,200 --> 01:38:22,872
and it's going to
piss me off.

2175
01:38:23,040 --> 01:38:24,758
Make that one of your rules.
That's good.

2176
01:38:25,320 --> 01:38:27,515
Whose child is this?

2177
01:38:27,600 --> 01:38:29,033
Mommy!

2178
01:38:29,120 --> 01:38:31,793
Oh, baby, hi.

2179
01:38:31,880 --> 01:38:34,474
Mommy, can I have
some candy, please? Oh...

2180
01:38:34,600 --> 01:38:36,750
Sly move.

2181
01:38:36,840 --> 01:38:38,717
I told you
you'd be okay.

2182
01:38:38,800 --> 01:38:42,873
All right, I'm going to get you some
candy and maybe one for myself.

2183
01:38:42,960 --> 01:38:44,376
Hold this, please.

2184
01:38:48,440 --> 01:38:51,238
<i>Now, since it's Mother's Day
and I am a mother,</i>

2185
01:38:51,480 --> 01:38:55,234
<i>I'd like to introduce a very special guest,
my daughter, Kristin.</i>

2186
01:38:57,800 --> 01:39:01,156
<i>She has something very special
she would like to say.</i>

2187
01:39:09,160 --> 01:39:13,517
<i>Father of my child,
light of my life,</i>

2188
01:39:16,200 --> 01:39:18,998
<i>Zack, will you marry me?</i>

2189
01:39:19,080 --> 01:39:21,753
<i>And because I made
you wait so long,</i>

2190
01:39:21,840 --> 01:39:25,037
<i>I'd like to do it today,
while my mother's still here.</i>

2191
01:39:29,000 --> 01:39:32,709
Well, will you?

2192
01:39:33,880 --> 01:39:34,880
Wha...

2193
01:39:35,360 --> 01:39:36,360
Uh...

2194
01:39:36,440 --> 01:39:37,919
The show's pre-taped.

2195
01:39:42,600 --> 01:39:43,953
Will you?

2196
01:39:44,920 --> 01:39:46,990
Well, you know,

2197
01:39:47,080 --> 01:39:49,389
I'm going to have
to think it over.

2198
01:39:49,960 --> 01:39:50,960
Hmm.

2199
01:39:52,000 --> 01:39:53,877
Okay, I did.

2200
01:39:53,960 --> 01:39:55,632
Yes.

2201
01:39:55,760 --> 01:39:57,273
I love you.
I love you, too.

2202
01:40:02,160 --> 01:40:03,160
Oh...

2203
01:40:03,760 --> 01:40:05,512
Oh, I think it's time.

2204
01:40:06,200 --> 01:40:07,599
Gotta go.
Oh...

2205
01:40:07,760 --> 01:40:09,955
Where's my purse?
Where are the keys?

2206
01:40:10,040 --> 01:40:11,439
Good luck, you guys.

2207
01:40:11,520 --> 01:40:14,398
Time for a wedding.
Where's Shorty? Shorty?

2208
01:40:14,480 --> 01:40:15,708
Me.

2209
01:40:15,800 --> 01:40:17,438
You're Shorty?
Yeah.

2210
01:40:17,520 --> 01:40:18,589
Should have guessed.

2211
01:40:18,680 --> 01:40:20,716
Okay, listen,
Miranda wants to throw

2212
01:40:20,800 --> 01:40:23,268
a big expensive wedding
at the best hotel,

2213
01:40:23,360 --> 01:40:25,078
but Kristin wants
to get married here

2214
01:40:25,160 --> 01:40:26,456
because that's
where they first met.

2215
01:40:26,480 --> 01:40:29,040
Great, and we'll do our best
to make it expensive.

2216
01:40:29,120 --> 01:40:30,155
Well, thank you for that.

2217
01:40:30,280 --> 01:40:31,576
Who's going to
perform the ceremony?

2218
01:40:31,600 --> 01:40:32,635
I'm officiating.

2219
01:40:32,760 --> 01:40:34,034
You got a license?

2220
01:40:34,120 --> 01:40:36,350
Of course, from
the online church of Idaho.

2221
01:40:36,440 --> 01:40:37,759
Can we do this now?

2222
01:40:39,440 --> 01:40:41,271
Wow. We're gonna make a buck.

2223
01:40:41,560 --> 01:40:44,438
<i>Paging
Dr. Freeman and Dr. Sheehan.</i>

2224
01:40:44,520 --> 01:40:47,432
<i>Please report to
the nurse's station.</i>

2225
01:40:57,800 --> 01:40:59,119
Come on.

2226
01:41:00,840 --> 01:41:02,637
Are you kidding me?

2227
01:41:02,960 --> 01:41:04,996
This is what's going
to happen today?

2228
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:09,432
All right, okay.

2229
01:41:13,720 --> 01:41:16,188
God!
Oh, no, no, no, no.

2230
01:41:18,280 --> 01:41:19,280
Oh, God.

2231
01:41:27,160 --> 01:41:28,160
Whoa.

2232
01:41:29,360 --> 01:41:31,216
You know what?
Guys, let's go this way.

2233
01:41:31,240 --> 01:41:33,320
Let's not get involved.
Come on, here we go.

2234
01:41:33,360 --> 01:41:34,429
Oh...

2235
01:41:34,520 --> 01:41:36,158
Hey, tampon man.

2236
01:41:37,480 --> 01:41:38,754
Right?
Remember at the...

2237
01:41:38,840 --> 01:41:40,193
Hey.
Hi.

2238
01:41:40,480 --> 01:41:41,879
Hi there.
Um...

2239
01:41:42,040 --> 01:41:43,598
We were...
Yes.

2240
01:41:43,680 --> 01:41:45,033
Yeah, of course, hi.

2241
01:41:45,240 --> 01:41:46,798
It's actually Bradley.

2242
01:41:47,000 --> 01:41:48,194
Oh, Bradley.
Yeah.

2243
01:41:48,320 --> 01:41:50,496
These are my daughters.
This is Rachel, and this is Vicky.

2244
01:41:50,520 --> 01:41:51,520
Hi.
Hi.

2245
01:41:51,680 --> 01:41:52,795
This is...
Sandy.

2246
01:41:53,080 --> 01:41:55,071
With two sons.
Yes, that's right.

2247
01:41:55,160 --> 01:41:57,116
Um...

2248
01:41:57,240 --> 01:41:58,673
You all right?
You know what? No.

2249
01:41:58,880 --> 01:42:01,110
I'm kind of in
a little bit of a situation.

2250
01:42:01,280 --> 01:42:02,508
Okay. I got you.
It's so silly.

2251
01:42:02,720 --> 01:42:04,039
Girls, do me a favor,

2252
01:42:04,160 --> 01:42:05,256
why don't you run
and go find and see

2253
01:42:05,280 --> 01:42:06,508
if someone has
a key for this?

2254
01:42:06,720 --> 01:42:08,790
There's, like, a security
guard up front I'm sure.

2255
01:42:10,200 --> 01:42:12,350
It probably looks
kind of suspicious.

2256
01:42:12,920 --> 01:42:15,593
Are you wondering
how I got into

2257
01:42:15,680 --> 01:42:17,079
this predicament?
Mmm.

2258
01:42:17,200 --> 01:42:18,200
No, I'm not really.

2259
01:42:18,720 --> 01:42:20,296
You see what happens every time...
Uh-huh.

2260
01:42:20,320 --> 01:42:22,016
...I try to get up?
It's caught on something.

2261
01:42:22,040 --> 01:42:23,376
It's not coming down
any further, all right,

2262
01:42:23,400 --> 01:42:25,038
well, let me see
what I can do there.

2263
01:42:25,200 --> 01:42:26,776
Pull your wrist over this way.
Ow! Careful.

2264
01:42:26,800 --> 01:42:27,800
What?

2265
01:42:27,880 --> 01:42:30,075
It's a Miranda Collins
bracelet, just, you know. Oh...

2266
01:42:32,520 --> 01:42:34,351
What did you do
to your leg?

2267
01:42:36,160 --> 01:42:40,039
Another hip-hop-related
casualty is all.

2268
01:42:40,280 --> 01:42:41,554
Hip hop?
Yeah. What about you?

2269
01:42:41,800 --> 01:42:42,880
Why are you here?
Are you in

2270
01:42:42,920 --> 01:42:44,319
the psychiatric wing?

2271
01:42:44,880 --> 01:42:48,111
No. My son had
an asthma attack.

2272
01:42:48,560 --> 01:42:50,869
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Is he okay?

2273
01:42:51,040 --> 01:42:54,555
Yeah, he's all back to normal,
so I'm getting him this candy.

2274
01:42:54,640 --> 01:42:55,755
I got you, we'll get it.

2275
01:42:56,000 --> 01:42:57,056
Oh, bend it, bend it.

2276
01:42:57,080 --> 01:42:58,256
Here, I'm going to
pull it down. There.

2277
01:42:58,280 --> 01:42:59,349
Ow...

2278
01:42:59,440 --> 01:43:00,839
Whoa. Awesome.
Ta-da.

2279
01:43:01,080 --> 01:43:02,195
Wait.
You're free.

2280
01:43:02,320 --> 01:43:03,355
Get that thing
down here.

2281
01:43:03,440 --> 01:43:05,078
This thing?
Get that Skittle.

2282
01:43:05,160 --> 01:43:06,680
That's why I did it
in the first place.

2283
01:43:06,760 --> 01:43:08,273
Don't. This is
what's going to happen.

2284
01:43:11,280 --> 01:43:13,032
Hey, all right.
Yeah.

2285
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:14,599
That's amazing.
Nicely done.

2286
01:43:14,760 --> 01:43:15,760
Get it.

2287
01:43:16,120 --> 01:43:18,190
Wait. Oh, you know what,
while we're in here...

2288
01:43:19,640 --> 01:43:21,153
Okay, but if anybody
catches us,

2289
01:43:21,280 --> 01:43:23,080
we'll say you're stealing
candy for sick kids.

2290
01:43:23,120 --> 01:43:24,678
Thank you so much.
Yeah.

2291
01:43:25,040 --> 01:43:26,314
I owe you one.

2292
01:43:26,440 --> 01:43:27,793
No, random act of kindness.

2293
01:43:28,000 --> 01:43:29,040
Well, thank you.

2294
01:43:29,120 --> 01:43:30,599
Do you need a ride?

2295
01:43:30,800 --> 01:43:32,199
No, we have a car.

2296
01:43:32,320 --> 01:43:34,197
Yeah. Of course, of course.
Yeah.

2297
01:43:34,280 --> 01:43:35,554
And I...

2298
01:43:35,640 --> 01:43:37,198
What am I thinking?
I've got my kids,

2299
01:43:37,320 --> 01:43:39,470
my ex-husband, his new wife.
Oh...

2300
01:43:39,720 --> 01:43:40,948
It's a carful.
Wow.

2301
01:43:41,040 --> 01:43:43,110
Yeah, I'm divorced, too.

2302
01:43:45,120 --> 01:43:46,120
Oh, um...

2303
01:43:46,440 --> 01:43:50,956
Actually, my wife
passed away, so...

2304
01:43:51,320 --> 01:43:52,320
Oh...

2305
01:43:52,920 --> 01:43:55,275
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

2306
01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:58,550
Oh, that must make today so hard.
It's okay.

2307
01:43:58,800 --> 01:44:00,756
It's starting to be okay.

2308
01:44:02,280 --> 01:44:03,280
Thank you.

2309
01:44:03,480 --> 01:44:05,016
Dad, we looked everywhere.
We couldn't...

2310
01:44:05,040 --> 01:44:06,320
No, no, no.
We're good, actually.

2311
01:44:06,480 --> 01:44:07,833
- She's free.
- Free.

2312
01:44:08,080 --> 01:44:09,798
Emancipated.
Yeah. We're good. Yup.

2313
01:44:11,480 --> 01:44:13,152
Yeah. Um...
So...

2314
01:44:13,760 --> 01:44:16,797
Well, hey, I will see
you around, I guess.

2315
01:44:17,080 --> 01:44:18,308
That would be nice.

2316
01:44:18,520 --> 01:44:20,080
Wait, my dad
owns a fitness gym.

2317
01:44:20,280 --> 01:44:22,120
Give her your card.
You should totally stop by,

2318
01:44:22,200 --> 01:44:25,033
you know, try a yoga class
or pole dancing even. Mmm.

2319
01:44:25,360 --> 01:44:26,998
It helps you get in
touch with your body.

2320
01:44:27,480 --> 01:44:28,993
Mmm-hmm.
I've heard.

2321
01:44:29,120 --> 01:44:31,190
This is my gym.

2322
01:44:31,480 --> 01:44:32,595
It is?

2323
01:44:32,760 --> 01:44:34,159
I go to this gym.

2324
01:44:34,280 --> 01:44:35,280
What?

2325
01:44:35,360 --> 01:44:37,157
I just signed up,
like, a couple weeks ago.

2326
01:44:37,360 --> 01:44:38,679
How have I not
seen you?

2327
01:44:38,800 --> 01:44:39,869
I've never seen you there.

2328
01:44:40,000 --> 01:44:41,536
I know, how have I
never seen you there?

2329
01:44:41,560 --> 01:44:43,160
That's weird.
That's so weird.

2330
01:44:43,520 --> 01:44:47,672
All right, well, great,
so maybe I'll see you there sometime.

2331
01:44:48,120 --> 01:44:49,838
Thanks.
Yeah, thank you.

2332
01:44:50,360 --> 01:44:52,351
- Go here.
- Like that? No, this?

2333
01:44:52,520 --> 01:44:53,520
Go up.

2334
01:44:54,360 --> 01:44:56,271
Oh, no, that's terrible.
I love it.

2335
01:44:58,040 --> 01:44:59,216
All right.
Let's eat, guys.

2336
01:44:59,240 --> 01:45:00,275
Let's eat, Mom.

2337
01:45:00,640 --> 01:45:02,198
Mom!
Whoa!

2338
01:45:03,160 --> 01:45:04,656
Mom, you didn't tell
me you were coming.

2339
01:45:04,680 --> 01:45:06,033
Surprise.
Oh.

2340
01:45:06,320 --> 01:45:07,878
I didn't know
you were coming.

2341
01:45:07,960 --> 01:45:09,951
<i>Beta,</i> I need money to
tip the Ubber driver.

2342
01:45:10,320 --> 01:45:11,320
Okay, it's Uber.

2343
01:45:12,080 --> 01:45:13,195
I came to see you.

2344
01:45:13,280 --> 01:45:15,475
How did you know
we were even here?

2345
01:45:15,560 --> 01:45:16,675
I'm a mother.
Mmm...

2346
01:45:16,760 --> 01:45:19,479
Flo, it's so good to see you.
Oh, my goodness.

2347
01:45:19,560 --> 01:45:20,754
We did it.

2348
01:45:23,520 --> 01:45:24,520
Okay.

2349
01:45:26,160 --> 01:45:27,354
Oh. Oh!

2350
01:45:27,440 --> 01:45:29,158
Wow! You look
really nice.

2351
01:45:29,440 --> 01:45:31,112
Are you ready?

2352
01:45:31,200 --> 01:45:32,872
I am ready.

2353
01:45:34,080 --> 01:45:38,039
Oh, but, um, I think
I'll need someone to hold Katie.

2354
01:45:41,920 --> 01:45:43,353
It would be my honor.

2355
01:45:46,240 --> 01:45:47,912
Okay, you ready?

2356
01:45:48,000 --> 01:45:49,069
Come to Grandma.

2357
01:45:49,440 --> 01:45:51,510
Oh.
Ooh, sticky.

2358
01:45:51,600 --> 01:45:52,936
They're always sticky.
Ugh.

2359
01:45:52,960 --> 01:45:54,313
I mean...

2360
01:45:54,680 --> 01:45:56,033
Okay.

2361
01:45:56,200 --> 01:45:57,758
All right,
there we go.

2362
01:46:00,200 --> 01:46:01,200
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

2363
01:46:01,280 --> 01:46:02,713
A little higher.
Don't drop her.

2364
01:46:02,800 --> 01:46:04,392
Little bit higher.
Yup, perfect. Got it.

2365
01:46:04,480 --> 01:46:06,516
- Got it.
- Okay.

2366
01:46:06,600 --> 01:46:08,113
Should we start
without you?

2367
01:46:08,280 --> 01:46:10,840
Oh, no, we're good to go.
Thanks, Dominic.

2368
01:46:10,960 --> 01:46:12,791
Okay.

2369
01:46:15,360 --> 01:46:17,396
All right, let's go.

2370
01:46:20,040 --> 01:46:22,110
Ma, how long
are you staying?

2371
01:46:22,680 --> 01:46:23,954
We'll see.

2372
01:46:24,040 --> 01:46:26,156
Earl and I may
stay awhile, too.

2373
01:46:26,240 --> 01:46:27,559
They have a big house.

2374
01:46:28,720 --> 01:46:30,836
Sorry that took so long.
Here, honey.

2375
01:46:30,920 --> 01:46:34,356
Just let me finish these release
papers and you'll be on your way.

2376
01:46:34,800 --> 01:46:36,552
Thanks, you've
been very helpful.

2377
01:46:40,240 --> 01:46:42,754
Well, that was one of our
more eventful Mother's Days.

2378
01:46:42,840 --> 01:46:46,515
I mean, to be honest,
I really prefer the really boring, sweet,

2379
01:46:46,600 --> 01:46:49,160
burnt pancakes in bed,
you know what I mean?

2380
01:46:49,920 --> 01:46:51,239
I'm sorry about yesterday.

2381
01:46:54,240 --> 01:46:55,798
That party was
really stupid.

2382
01:46:56,040 --> 01:46:57,280
I can't believe
you had a llama.

2383
01:46:57,320 --> 01:46:58,480
I can't believe
I had a llama.

2384
01:46:58,520 --> 01:46:59,669
And an alpaca.

2385
01:46:59,880 --> 01:47:03,668
Hey, kids, what do you say
we go to IHOP for dinner?

2386
01:47:03,840 --> 01:47:05,068
Yeah!
Breakfast for dinner.

2387
01:47:05,240 --> 01:47:06,309
Yeah.

2388
01:47:06,440 --> 01:47:08,296
Your mom and I just have to
wait for this paperwork.

2389
01:47:08,320 --> 01:47:09,799
We'll be a few minutes.

2390
01:47:10,040 --> 01:47:12,031
Yeah, we'll just
wait in the car.

2391
01:47:12,120 --> 01:47:13,838
Okay, come on, boys.
Come on.

2392
01:47:18,440 --> 01:47:19,714
Hey, Sandy.

2393
01:47:19,800 --> 01:47:21,870
Hey, Sandy
with two sons!

2394
01:47:34,680 --> 01:47:38,992
So, who's
Captain Pink Pants?

2395
01:47:39,560 --> 01:47:41,755
Oh!

2396
01:47:42,080 --> 01:47:43,433
Uh, first of all,
they're salmon.

2397
01:47:43,560 --> 01:47:45,676
Oh, is that what those were?
And they're cute.

2398
01:47:46,680 --> 01:47:47,999
Anyone I should
know about?

2399
01:47:48,120 --> 01:47:51,078
Oh, trust me, I'll shock
you when it's permanent.

2400
01:47:51,240 --> 01:47:54,710
Yeah, and does he know how
you hate beards? Oh...

2401
01:47:55,040 --> 01:47:58,077
You know what, I think it's
actually quite sexy on him.

2402
01:47:58,200 --> 01:47:59,269
Oh...

2403
01:48:00,080 --> 01:48:01,308
And we're back
to normal.

2404
01:48:01,400 --> 01:48:02,549
Yeah.

2405
01:48:13,920 --> 01:48:14,989
Uh-oh.
- Whoo!

2406
01:48:19,440 --> 01:48:21,158
This is just
how I pictured it.

2407
01:48:38,920 --> 01:48:40,797
Can we vow this up, please?

2408
01:48:40,880 --> 01:48:42,871
We got people
waiting for tables.

2409
01:48:43,160 --> 01:48:44,160
Oh...

2410
01:48:45,720 --> 01:48:46,720
Oh.

2411
01:48:47,560 --> 01:48:48,560
All right.

2412
01:48:50,120 --> 01:48:53,157
We are gathered here
to unite these two souls.

2413
01:48:53,400 --> 01:48:55,072
Who is giving
this young lady away?

2414
01:48:55,200 --> 01:48:58,795
I do, but I'm going to hold
onto this one a little longer.

2415
01:49:00,200 --> 01:49:01,758
Zack, do you take...
I do.

2416
01:49:02,040 --> 01:49:04,190
Before she
changes her mind.

2417
01:49:04,880 --> 01:49:06,199
And do you, Kristin?

2418
01:49:07,080 --> 01:49:10,152
I do, and I won't
be changing my mind.

2419
01:49:10,360 --> 01:49:13,397
I now pronounce
you husband and wife.

2420
01:49:15,480 --> 01:49:17,038
If you don't kiss her,
I will.

2421
01:49:25,160 --> 01:49:26,559
I'm very calm right now.

2422
01:49:26,640 --> 01:49:28,039
I see that.
I'm very happy.

2423
01:49:28,160 --> 01:49:30,000
That's very nice.
Let's take a picture of that.

2424
01:49:30,040 --> 01:49:31,871
Hold it high so we
both look skinny.

2425
01:49:41,360 --> 01:49:42,918
It's nothing.
I'm fine.

2426
01:49:43,000 --> 01:49:44,560
I know, it's fine.
Don't worry about it.

2427
01:49:44,640 --> 01:49:46,596
It's not scary, okay?
Scary.

2428
01:49:46,680 --> 01:49:47,829
It's not scary.

2429
01:49:57,640 --> 01:49:59,040
Isn't that obvious?

2430
01:50:00,880 --> 01:50:02,029
Man down.

2431
01:50:07,800 --> 01:50:11,076
Come on, come on, come on!
Seriously? All right.

2432
01:50:15,200 --> 01:50:17,270
Hey. This is not a stadium,
it's a lobby.

2433
01:50:17,360 --> 01:50:19,954
Yeah, your hat, Hector!
Put on your hat.

2434
01:50:20,040 --> 01:50:21,439
What?

2435
01:50:21,520 --> 01:50:23,256
All right, this is not...
This is the wrong borough.

2436
01:50:23,280 --> 01:50:24,713
I'm from Manhattan.
The other one.

2437
01:50:24,800 --> 01:50:25,856
Excuse me. I'm sorry.

2438
01:50:25,880 --> 01:50:26,880
Okay, we're ready.

2439
01:50:26,960 --> 01:50:28,696
How's this going?
This is going to work very well.

2440
01:50:28,720 --> 01:50:31,996
Okay. This is not a stadium,
this is a lobby.

2441
01:50:32,080 --> 01:50:33,638
You were not
an essay-contest winner.

2442
01:50:33,720 --> 01:50:37,872
But I do have this 100%
hypoallergenic right-side out bra,

2443
01:50:38,000 --> 01:50:40,036
for you to wear
home since you're

2444
01:50:40,440 --> 01:50:43,034
exposed on that side.
Oh, that's so kind of you.

2445
01:50:44,480 --> 01:50:45,913
Thank you.
Pop that on. Gold plated.

2446
01:50:46,000 --> 01:50:47,274
Is this yours?
Well...

2447
01:50:55,560 --> 01:50:59,155
It's one really... long train.

2448
01:50:59,240 --> 01:51:00,559
Jesus!

2449
01:51:08,520 --> 01:51:10,640
I need to shave my
legs again quickly.

2450
01:51:11,400 --> 01:51:12,628
Hold him still.
Okay.

2451
01:51:14,480 --> 01:51:15,595
He's moving.

2452
01:51:15,680 --> 01:51:18,069
Tanner, no, no, no, no,
not on her bag!

2453
01:51:20,400 --> 01:51:22,080
It's, like, the fourth
time he's done this.

2454
01:51:23,440 --> 01:51:25,431
Enough with
the surprises, Sandy.

2455
01:51:25,520 --> 01:51:27,238
Sandy? I'm Sandy.

2456
01:51:27,800 --> 01:51:29,376
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not here for a picture.

2457
01:51:29,400 --> 01:51:30,833
I'm here...
I'm here to show Julia.

2458
01:51:39,120 --> 01:51:40,758
Justified.

2459
01:51:42,480 --> 01:51:45,153
Sweetie, sweetie, your banana.
Sorry, your banana.

2460
01:51:45,280 --> 01:51:46,280
Ow!
Oh!

2461
01:51:46,840 --> 01:51:48,956
Whoa!

2462
01:51:53,600 --> 01:51:54,828
Oh, it's connected
to a string.

2463
01:51:54,920 --> 01:51:56,956
What? This is a big joke.

2464
01:51:57,120 --> 01:51:59,509
Maybe it's dental floss.
New thing dentists are doing.

2465
01:52:01,600 --> 01:52:03,318
Happy Mother's Day!

2466
01:58:45,040 --> 01:58:46,696
- Went actually very well.
- She's so good!

2467
01:58:46,720 --> 01:58:48,631
- Yay.
- Go again.