1 00:00:08,739 --> 00:00:12,498 Here we are kiddos, the Southwest State Fair. 2 00:00:12,498 --> 00:00:14,360 Yee-haw! 3 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,050 Whoa. 4 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,360 Rockin'. 5 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,015 Oh, hon, there's a spot. 6 00:00:22,257 --> 00:00:25,084 Ah, perfect, like a glove. 7 00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:27,705 Now, who's-- uh-oh. 8 00:00:29,153 --> 00:00:31,429 Trapped, with no way out. 9 00:00:31,429 --> 00:00:33,119 Incorrect. 10 00:00:37,877 --> 00:00:40,222 Huh, good thinking, Lisa. 11 00:00:40,222 --> 00:00:41,326 I want to get there. Hurry up. 12 00:00:41,326 --> 00:00:43,429 - Go, go, go, go. - Whoa, man. 13 00:00:43,429 --> 00:00:45,395 This is so exciting. - Can I have a selfie? 14 00:00:45,395 --> 00:00:47,222 - Sign this for me please. - Yay! 15 00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,153 Wait, is that-- 16 00:00:49,153 --> 00:00:50,567 Can you sign this? I love you! 17 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,464 Huh, Rita? Is that you? 18 00:00:52,464 --> 00:00:54,326 Brad Plaid! 19 00:00:54,326 --> 00:00:56,601 Hot diggity, it is you! 20 00:00:56,601 --> 00:00:59,395 And I thought these glasses were monkeying with me. 21 00:00:59,395 --> 00:01:01,636 What's a Michigander like you doing here? 22 00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:03,670 I'm actually writing a column about life 23 00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:06,532 on the road with a big family. - No kidding? 24 00:01:06,532 --> 00:01:08,395 So you became a writer after all? 25 00:01:08,395 --> 00:01:10,843 I always knew you would. - Hey, honey. 26 00:01:10,843 --> 00:01:13,601 Howdy, sir. Would you like an autograph? 27 00:01:14,981 --> 00:01:16,050 Oh. 28 00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:17,808 This is my husband, Lynn. 29 00:01:17,808 --> 00:01:20,636 Everyone, this is Brad. 30 00:01:20,636 --> 00:01:24,153 He and I knew each other from Camp Can Do when we were kids. 31 00:01:25,498 --> 00:01:27,705 We were practically hogtied at the hip. 32 00:01:27,705 --> 00:01:29,981 In fact, we were each other's camp crushes, 33 00:01:29,981 --> 00:01:32,153 if I remember right. 34 00:01:32,153 --> 00:01:35,291 How adorable. 35 00:01:35,291 --> 00:01:37,946 So Brad, my man, what's with the crowd? 36 00:01:37,946 --> 00:01:39,153 You, like, famous or something? 37 00:01:39,153 --> 00:01:40,946 Well, I'm somewhat of a... 38 00:01:40,946 --> 00:01:42,774 ♪ Country singer ♪ 39 00:01:42,774 --> 00:01:44,601 all: Ooh. 40 00:01:44,601 --> 00:01:47,498 I'm on tour cross-country with my horse. 41 00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:50,257 They call me the Crooning Cowboy. 42 00:01:50,257 --> 00:01:53,050 - That's so cool. - OK. Great. 43 00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:54,670 But we better get going. 44 00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:57,050 Lots to see and do, just me and my family 45 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,567 and Rita who is my wife. 46 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:02,464 Say, y'all should check out my show 47 00:02:02,464 --> 00:02:05,464 after the rodeo tonight. How do front row seats sound? 48 00:02:05,464 --> 00:02:06,981 - Yes! - Oh, wow! 49 00:02:06,981 --> 00:02:08,291 So cool! 50 00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,291 That is so sweet of you, Brad. 51 00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:12,360 Yes. Yes, so, so sweet. 52 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,464 Oh, I just remembered. 53 00:02:14,464 --> 00:02:16,532 We're a sing-along kind of family at concerts, 54 00:02:16,532 --> 00:02:18,843 and we don't know any of your songs. 55 00:02:18,843 --> 00:02:22,050 Guess we'll have to pass. Well, thanks anyway. 56 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:24,153 Take my "Greatest Hits" album. 57 00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:25,739 Y'all will catch up in no time. 58 00:02:25,739 --> 00:02:27,912 Now, you kids are gonna love the fair. 59 00:02:27,912 --> 00:02:29,464 I'll be your personal guide. 60 00:02:29,464 --> 00:02:32,015 Let's head 'em up and move 'em out! 61 00:02:35,015 --> 00:02:38,119 "Rita-'Round the World," "All I Need Is Rita," 62 00:02:38,119 --> 00:02:39,774 "Rita Likes Pita." 63 00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:41,360 All his songs are about Rita. 64 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,946 Brad is obviously obsessed with her. 65 00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:44,532 And it looks like he's trying to rekindle 66 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,050 his Camp Can Do flame. 67 00:02:46,050 --> 00:02:47,739 Well, not on my watch, buster. 68 00:02:47,739 --> 00:02:49,257 Oh, you think you're such a big man? 69 00:02:49,257 --> 00:02:50,774 Well, you're not so big. 70 00:02:50,774 --> 00:02:53,705 A big Brad Plaid howdy to y'all. 71 00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:55,188 Oh, come on! 72 00:02:56,257 --> 00:02:58,222 - Yeah, whoa! - So cool! 73 00:02:58,222 --> 00:03:02,360 Look at those unicorns. 74 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,843 Eunice has been begging for a baby brother. 75 00:03:04,843 --> 00:03:06,981 Well, I'd be happy to. 76 00:03:06,981 --> 00:03:09,153 Yeah, I got it Bryson. 77 00:03:14,981 --> 00:03:16,705 Hands are a little sweaty, just from the heat. 78 00:03:16,705 --> 00:03:18,774 I'm not nervous or intimidated in any way. 79 00:03:28,981 --> 00:03:30,774 - Ow. - Sorry. 80 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,395 - We have a winner. - Whew! 81 00:03:39,395 --> 00:03:41,360 We'll take the unicorn, please. 82 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,015 Sorry, sir, but that prize 83 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,153 is for knocking down the whole pyramid. 84 00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:49,222 Allow me, partner. 85 00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:57,188 Yeah! 86 00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:59,877 Thanks, Dad. I mean, Brad. 87 00:04:06,119 --> 00:04:09,050 Your kids are natural boot scooters, Rita. 88 00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:12,670 Bet they learned it from you. Speaking of, care to dance? 89 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,636 Sorry, maybe next song, Brody. 90 00:04:14,636 --> 00:04:16,498 Are you feeling OK, hon? 91 00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:18,257 Because you've been acting a little-- 92 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:20,395 Charming, debonair? 93 00:04:20,395 --> 00:04:22,119 Like someone who isn't crumbling on the inside? 94 00:04:24,912 --> 00:04:27,808 Old Tootsie's gotcha now! Hang on. 95 00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:31,946 Whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, oh! Ah! 96 00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:36,429 Whoo-hoo! 97 00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:40,015 Time for another fling, chicken wing. 98 00:04:40,015 --> 00:04:41,843 No, no, no! Ah! 99 00:04:41,843 --> 00:04:44,153 - This is so fun. - Brad's so cool. 100 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:47,360 Can I get boots like Brad's? 101 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,636 Barbecue cookoff. 102 00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,326 Hey, Brent, what do you say we put 103 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,601 our grill skills to the test? 104 00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,464 Sounds like fun, partner. 105 00:05:00,326 --> 00:05:02,050 Uh. 106 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,119 Excuse me. 107 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,050 And what do we have here? 108 00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:13,601 It's my famous pulled chick-Lynn sandwich 109 00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:16,774 with a side of Mac Lynn cheese. Enjoy. 110 00:05:16,774 --> 00:05:18,981 - Mmm. - Room for seconds? 111 00:05:18,981 --> 00:05:22,498 Or should I say sec-Lynns? Wha--huh? 112 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:30,291 Mmm, these are delicious. And what'd you call them? 113 00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:31,808 Shish ke-Brad. 114 00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:33,429 He's good. 115 00:05:33,429 --> 00:05:35,601 How dare he? 116 00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:37,877 Food-based puns are my thing! 117 00:05:37,877 --> 00:05:39,670 Can you guys believe this? Huh? What? 118 00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:41,464 - Mm-hmm. - Mmm, mmm. 119 00:05:41,464 --> 00:05:43,464 Huh? 120 00:05:43,464 --> 00:05:44,981 Oh, come on! 121 00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:48,636 Here, Dad. I got you a clean shirt. 122 00:05:48,636 --> 00:05:51,360 I--Ugh! You! 123 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,843 You may have won the first three rounds, 124 00:05:52,843 --> 00:05:55,464 Brad Bleh! But I'm not out yet. 125 00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:58,015 You hear me? - Um, Dad, you feeling OK? 126 00:05:58,015 --> 00:06:01,084 You're yelling at a t-shirt. - What? Everything's fine. 127 00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:03,808 You know, apart from Brad trying to steal your mom away. 128 00:06:03,808 --> 00:06:05,532 What? Dad, you're losing it. 129 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,153 Brad's not trying to-- 130 00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:09,636 Hoo-wee, do I got a big surprise for Rita. 131 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,119 You're gonna love this, Chuck. 132 00:06:11,119 --> 00:06:13,912 I've got a seat for her on my private jet. 133 00:06:13,912 --> 00:06:16,395 After the concert tonight, I want her to fly away with me. 134 00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,912 Uh, I'm over here, sir. 135 00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:21,739 I knew that. 136 00:06:21,739 --> 00:06:23,153 Whoa, you're right. 137 00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:25,257 Brad's totally trying to steal Mom away. 138 00:06:25,257 --> 00:06:27,291 Lincoln, what am I gonna do? 139 00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:28,843 Leave it to me. 140 00:06:28,843 --> 00:06:31,395 Brad's not the only man with a plan round these parts. 141 00:06:34,015 --> 00:06:35,222 Nothing to see here. 142 00:06:35,222 --> 00:06:37,912 Just two rodeo clowns heading to work. 143 00:06:37,912 --> 00:06:39,670 Hey! 144 00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:41,670 Now for phase two. 145 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,360 I'll sneak into Brad's dressing room 146 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,912 and swipe his glasses, and you'll switch 147 00:06:44,912 --> 00:06:46,498 Brad's horse with a wild bull. 148 00:06:46,498 --> 00:06:47,670 Don't you think he'll notice? 149 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:48,946 You've seen him without his glasses. 150 00:06:48,946 --> 00:06:51,084 He can't tell a person from a cactus. 151 00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:53,222 Before he can figure it out, he'll be bucked 152 00:06:53,222 --> 00:06:56,084 all the way to Timbuktu. - Nice thinking, son. 153 00:06:58,705 --> 00:07:01,739 I'll be right there, just got to grab something 154 00:07:01,739 --> 00:07:02,981 out of my dressing room. 155 00:07:02,981 --> 00:07:05,601 Where did I put those dang glasses? 156 00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,981 Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to welcome 157 00:07:08,981 --> 00:07:11,291 the Crooning Cowboy? 158 00:07:11,291 --> 00:07:13,739 - Phew. - Hold up a minute. 159 00:07:13,739 --> 00:07:16,532 At least I got my ten-gallon. 160 00:07:16,532 --> 00:07:19,015 Oh, that was close. 161 00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:22,739 Hey, Stomper, we're just gonna go for a little walk, 162 00:07:22,739 --> 00:07:25,498 OK, buddy? 163 00:07:30,498 --> 00:07:32,912 That's right, Stomper. Follow me. 164 00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,429 Eeeeh! 165 00:07:36,808 --> 00:07:39,188 Oh! 166 00:07:39,188 --> 00:07:41,360 Come on, come on, quickly. 167 00:07:49,153 --> 00:07:50,601 Nice going, Dad. 168 00:07:52,808 --> 00:07:55,843 Now, let's go watch Brad completely beef it. 169 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,188 Pun intended. Ha ha! 170 00:08:00,532 --> 00:08:03,050 Whoa, steady girl. 171 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:06,119 Everyone, put your hands together 172 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,050 for the Crooning Cowboy 173 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:12,395 and his pita-loving noble steed, Rita! 174 00:08:12,395 --> 00:08:14,395 Rita is a horse. 175 00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:16,429 That means Brad is obsessed with Rita the horse, 176 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,601 not Rita the wife. 177 00:08:17,601 --> 00:08:18,981 What have I done? 178 00:08:18,981 --> 00:08:21,670 Howdy, folks. 179 00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:23,326 How about I play a little song for you? 180 00:08:25,084 --> 00:08:28,429 ♪ Well, she don't eat oats ♪ Whoa! 181 00:08:28,429 --> 00:08:30,981 Ah! What's gotten into you? 182 00:08:30,981 --> 00:08:33,532 I put Brad in danger. I've got to save him. 183 00:08:33,532 --> 00:08:36,050 - Whoa! - Brad, listen to me. 184 00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:38,257 You're sitting on a bull! 185 00:08:38,257 --> 00:08:39,877 I'm sitting on a what now? 186 00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:41,153 Ah! 187 00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,119 Oof. 188 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:52,153 - Yeah, Dad! Do it! - You can do it! 189 00:08:58,981 --> 00:09:01,153 Oh, Brad. Thanks for breaking my fall. 190 00:09:01,153 --> 00:09:03,291 Lynn, oh, my gosh! Are you OK? 191 00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:05,498 What is going on? 192 00:09:05,498 --> 00:09:07,084 Oh, sorry, Rita. 193 00:09:07,084 --> 00:09:08,670 I really panicked when I thought 194 00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,119 you were gonna get on that plane, 195 00:09:10,119 --> 00:09:11,705 but then I realized you're not a horse. 196 00:09:11,705 --> 00:09:14,532 - Uh, OK. - Let me rephrase. 197 00:09:14,532 --> 00:09:16,912 I was so afraid that you were gonna run off with Brad 198 00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:19,360 that I--I sabotaged the show. 199 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,946 Honey, there is nothing between me and Brad. 200 00:09:22,946 --> 00:09:25,981 Why would you think that? - I know that now. 201 00:09:25,981 --> 00:09:28,291 But it is weird that he named his horse after you. 202 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,808 No, I didn't. 203 00:09:29,808 --> 00:09:31,395 I named her after my Granny, Margarita. 204 00:09:31,395 --> 00:09:33,946 Why, she'd eat an apple right out your hand. 205 00:09:33,946 --> 00:09:36,739 Granny, not the horse. 206 00:09:36,739 --> 00:09:38,981 I'm sorry, honey. And I'm sorry, Brian-- 207 00:09:38,981 --> 00:09:41,084 Brad. - Oh, there you are. 208 00:09:41,084 --> 00:09:43,015 I might have gotten a teensy bit carried away. 209 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,739 I'm sorry too. Here, these are yours. 210 00:09:45,739 --> 00:09:47,498 No harm done, partner. 211 00:09:47,498 --> 00:09:50,395 If nothing else, you helped me put on one wild show. 212 00:09:50,395 --> 00:09:53,291 And boy, you gotta teach me your cowbell technique. 213 00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:55,464 That's the one thing I could never master. 214 00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,636 Well, you know, it is an art form. 215 00:09:57,636 --> 00:10:00,188 Say, I still gotta finish the show 216 00:10:00,188 --> 00:10:04,188 before Rita, the horse Rita, and I jet off on my plane. 217 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,567 And I sure could use a little more cowbell 218 00:10:06,567 --> 00:10:08,705 in the big finale. 219 00:10:08,705 --> 00:10:10,601 ♪ Well, she don't eat oats ♪ 220 00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:12,360 ♪ And she don't eat hay ♪ 221 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,257 ♪ There's just one thing she'll nosh ♪ 222 00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:16,291 ♪ At the end of the day ♪ 223 00:10:16,291 --> 00:10:20,429 ♪ Is that unleavened bread that tickles her hide ♪ 224 00:10:20,429 --> 00:10:22,326 ♪ And she'll eat it when it's plain ♪ 225 00:10:22,326 --> 00:10:24,395 ♪ Or with some lettuce on the side ♪ 226 00:10:24,395 --> 00:10:26,222 ♪ Rita likes pita ♪ 227 00:10:26,222 --> 00:10:28,257 ♪ Rita likes pita ♪ 228 00:10:28,257 --> 00:10:30,015 ♪ It's the only thing I feed her ♪ 229 00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:31,946 ♪ And there ain't no nothing sweeter ♪ 230 00:10:31,946 --> 00:10:33,981 ♪ Rita likes pita ♪ 231 00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,429 ♪ Rita likes pita ♪ 232 00:10:35,429 --> 00:10:37,084 ♪ And she makes my life complete-a ♪ 233 00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:39,326 ♪ So I always feed her pita ♪ 234 00:10:39,326 --> 00:10:40,670 Come on!