[glamorous music]
♪ ♪
Thanks for taking the Tip Top Studios tour
here in glamorous Hollywood, California.
On your way out, please be sure to hit the gift shop.
It's what pays my salary.
That tour will be great for my article
on Hollywood hot spots!
This was literally
my fave part of the tour. [laughter]
Boy, that shark sure was cheeky!
[laughs] It must have thought you were a rump roast!
[laughter]
If anyone asks, we're not together.
[gasps] Look!
This is where they film the Dakota Rhoda movies!
She's a young girl archeologist
with a real flair for adventure and style.
I just gotta take one little peek.
What am I gonna do?
We start the movie tomorrow,
and I don't have an actress to play Dakota Rhoda.
No Dakota, no movie! - [gasps]
What happened to the last one?
- She turned 42. - Oh.
This is my chance to be a star in a real-life movie!
Ooh!
[adventurous music]
[wild animal noises]
[pop music plays]
Mwah! Mwah!
Did you just enter with your own fanfare?
Also who are you?
Lola Loud, your new star.
My card.
"Lola Loud, your new star."
Never heard of you. - Sorry.
Nora Nussbaum does not work with nobodies.
That's right. I need someone with buzz.
Eww. Flies are more my sister Lana's thing, but--
[laughs] No. I mean buzz.
That name everybody's talking about.
I only hire actors with buzz, hon.
It's a buzz kind of biz.
[groans] Hmm.
[chuckles] Oh, you better believe
I'll get the buzz, babe.
Okay, everybody, listen up.
If I can make this director think
that everybody's talking about me,
I'll be the next Dakota Rhoda!
But everybody already talks about you, Lola.
[snorts] I think she means in a good way.
Are you sure you want to do this, sweetie?
Stardom can be a lot.
She's right, kiddo.
You know, being with The Doo-Dads
has taught me two things:
all cowbell solos should be under 20 minutes,
and being a star isn't always what you expect it'll be.
[scoffs] Please.
I've been dreaming of this my whole life.
[crowd clamoring]
Lola, please, sign my baby!
[glamorous music]
[crowd cheering]
- Lola! Lola! - Lola, over here!
[laughs] Make sure you get my good side.
JK. I only have good sides.
Am I right? - Lola!
[chuckles] Whoopsie. Sorry, Lori.
Uh, in my defense, your face does feel like wet cement.
You could use some toner.
Ugh. Get off me.
What do you mean you don't have
a big Hollywood director discount?
I never pay full price for socks.
I love you, Lola!
I'm literally your biggest fan!
Oh-hoh! There she is!
Back it up!
Lola Loud deserves some stinkin' space!
You people are vultures!
♪ ♪
[snickers]
[over PA] Next on our Lola Loud Sightseeing Tour,
the smoothie shop where rumor has it Lola Loud often visits!
Look, it's her!
[both gasp] It's Lola Loud!
What are the ding-dang odds?
[giggling]
Thanks, guys, but no more pictures today.
[sighs] Okay, fine,
just ten more.
[cameras clicking]
♪ ♪
But don't you understand?
I have to have Lola Loud in my next movie!
It's gotta be Lola!
Egads. How do you expect me
to make a film without Lola Loud?
My directing career will perish, pass away,
cease to exist, babe.
Lola, you've gotta say yes!
[as Mr. Coconuts] Come on, doll!
We don't want anybody but you
in our latest talkie!
Please, please, please!
You have to be in my film!
I beseech thee, be in my film.
Ignore those losers, toots!
You and I will make motion picture history!
You're all out of luck,
because she's going to star in my film!
Lola, you've got more buzz than a beehive.
Will you be the new Dakota Rhoda?
Say you'll do it.
Hmm, I don't know.
I need some time to think about it.
Done! Where do I sign?
Hello!
Your star has arrived!
Nora, angel, I'm thinking I'll start
with a deep tissue massage in my trailer.
And that should take us through to lunch.
I'll have sushi and a mango sparkling water,
heavy on the sparkle.
Mwah, mwah, mwah. Kisses!
There's no time for any of that.
You're filming your stunts today.
Oh. Isn't there somebody who does that, darling?
What are they called? Oh.
Oh, yeah, that's right, a stunt person.
Sorry, hon, Dakota Rhodas perform their own stunts.
But relax. It'll be a breeze.
Ah!
[tense music]
[whimpers] - You're gonna run,
grab the vine, swing across the mud,
and land on the other side.
Any questions? - Just one.
Still no on the sushi?
Okay, people.
On your marks!
And... action!
[adventurous music]
[grunts]
Cut.
Ugh.
[panting]
[grunting]
Whoa!
Phew!
Ah! Oof!
Cut.
♪ ♪
[panting]
[sighs] - Cut!
That was perfect, Lola, hon.
Okay, everybody, back in five to film
Lola's fire-eating scene.
Huh? [cries]
[coughs, groans]
Quiet on the set!
And... action!
That treasure has to be around here somewhere.
Cut! Lola, sweetie,
your Dakota Rhoda feels a bit flat.
Why don't you try different vocal styles?
[chuckles nervously]
[Southern] Well, hush my mouth!
I do declare that treasure must be somewhere
'round these parts!
[Valley Girl] Like, that rad treasure has to be,
like, totally around here.
[robotic] The treasure must be here.
[Cockney] Blimey, governor!
I'd wager my tea and crumpets
that treasure's right here under me sniffer!
[clears throat]
[normal] How's that, Nora, darling?
Oh, ditch that Cockney accent!
That last voice you just used, it was perfect!
But that's my normal voice,
the one I was using before.
Love it. Do that, angel--but better.
[groans]
Ugh.
Being a star is a lot less glamorous than I thought.
Miss Loud? Nora wants you to practice
for the wrestling scene,
so she told me to bring your scene partner by.
This is Keith.
[gasps]
[tense music]
[snake hisses]
[screams]
[phone rings]
Lola Loud speaking.
I'm with the "Tinseltown Tattler."
Is it true you're not a natural blonde?
Ugh! How dare you!
[sighs] Miss Loud?
Keith, be a doll and let him in.
Now listen here, have you seen my hair?
- Thanks, Keith. - It's nature's perfection!
[grunts]
Miss Loud?
Thanks, Keith. Miss Loud,
we have some script revisions for you.
Just hold still.
- Ow! - I'll be back with the rest
of the pages.
[gasps]
Youch! - Next question:
does Lola Loud really buy dresses off the rack?
[growls] That's it!
Thanks, Keith.
[snake hisses]
Lola! Sweetie! What's up?
Well, it's just,
I'm so grateful for the chance to be in your movie.
Naturally.
But I have to quit.
I thought being a movie star was gonna be a lot of fun.
But it's just a lot of work.
I guess I'm not ready for all this.
Digging the honesty. So refreshing.
So I'm gonna be honest with you.
You can't quit, hon. You signed a contract,
which means you're done when I say you're done.
And when will that be?
When you turn 42.
Ugh!
Where's Keith?
We're filming his close-ups next.
He refuses to come on set
until he gets a sun lamp in his trailer.
What? You tell Keith I can find
another classically trained Burmese python!
I won't work with divas!
Hmm. Won't work with divas, huh?
Daddy, you were right about what you said before.
I should've listened.
Right? Those cowbell solos hit 20 minutes
and the crowd really turns on you.
Uh, no, I mean being a star isn't what I expected.
So I need you guys to help me get off this movie.
Will you, please?
That's a cinch. Getting kicked off junk is
what we Louds do best.
And now they're bragging about it.
Aw! Bring it in!
You guys are the real stars--
in a behind-the-scenes kind of way,
in case that wasn't clear.
Okay, Lola, let's go for a take.
And just do whatever the heck you want, Lola, doll,
because everything you do is sheer magic!
Who or what is this?
My personal acting coach.
I only take direction from him.
He knows how to speak "Lola."
Don't stand there gawkin'.
Get me a cappuccino!
Guh! Whoa!
[groans]
I'm the only director here!
Now let's do this for real. And--
[straining]
What do you think you're doing?
I don't like my trailer in the sun,
so she's moving it to a shady spot.
I have to protect my delicate complexion.
All right, whatever.
Quiet on the set! And--
Wait, wait! Move it back to the sun.
I need to work on my tan.
[straining]
- And-- - Wait!
Changed my mind. - [straining]
- Wait! - [growling]
If you're finished, I have a movie to shoot!
Oh, no!
I'm shiny!
Makeup!
Are you kidding me?
[both coughing]
Ugh, all this powder's making me thirsty!
On it, Miss Loud.
Blech! This juice has pulp in it!
Where's my personal pulp checker?
I'm so sorry for the mix-up, Miss Loud!
- [growling] - Pulp-free coming right up!
Wah! [grunts]
[electricity crackling]
Agh!
You are fired!
[gasps softly]
Oh. Aw.
Guess that's show biz!
I'll show myself out.
Come, family. My work here is done.
[growls]
Really quick, I have a script
I'd love for you to look over. - [growling]
We'll circle back!