All right, team.
We need a story that's gonna top last week's feature,
"Water Fountain Etiquette with Clyde."
Any suggestions?
all: Hmm. - Ooh, I've got one--me!
No, we're not doing another piece
on your ab routine, Rusty.
Yeah, we're still sifting through the complaint letters.
Say what you want.
There's one name on everybody's lips.
My extraterrestrial life detector.
An alien must be close.
Afternoon, chickpeas.
Got another box of mail addressed to Rusty.
What did I tell ya?
OK.
The alien should be right here.
Mr. Bolhofner!
An alien must have taken over his body.
I've got to save him.
Ah!
Resisting is futile, alien!
You've got two seconds to tell me what
the blue blazes is going on!
Don't panic, but there's an alien inside of you, Mr. B.
I can totally prove it.
See?
It's flashing, which means--
low battery.
Let's just call this a whoopsie.
A whoopsie?
Why don't we call it two days' detention
for tackling a teacher, Gurdle!
You OK, Zach?
We saw everything.
Oh, yeah.
Well, at least it's only two days of detention.
What?
What's the big deal? I've had detention before.
Yeah, in elementary school.
This is middle school.
The bullies are bigger, and so are their wedgies.
Yeah.
Lynn once told me about a kid who went to detention,
and the other kids gave him a wedgie
so hard it stunted his growth.
Oh, great.
What am I gonna do?
Don't worry, dog. I gotcha.
Welcome to Rusty's School of Hard Knocks.
Zach, you are about to learn how to survive detention
from a certified baddie.
Certified baddie?
Didn't you go to the school nurse for a mosquito bite?
It was on my knuckle, Stella.
It was very painful.
Now can we please get back to business?
Lesson number one, make a strong first impression.
Rusty Spokes Players, it's show time.
'Sup? Name's Rusty Bones.
Anybody got a problem with that?
Clyde, your line.
Golly, not me.
I'm too intimidated by that sick physique.
Me too.
Did you see that news story on his ab routine?
I can't stop watching it.
OK, I'm out.
Stella, I thought you were a professional.
Now everybody in position for the next scene.
Lesson two, establish your dominance.
You want to go straight up to the toughest kid in detention
and show him who's boss.
Scene two. And action.
I'm Meathead Larry, the toughest kid in detention.
Who talks like this?
Sorry.
So, Rusty Bones, you think you can take me,
Meathead Larry?
Oh, I know I can.
Check it.
These are heavier than I thought.
I, Meathead Larry, am never messing with you again,
Rusty Bones.
Parentheses, dramatically bursts into tears.
Ugh, that's stage direction, Lincoln.
How am I supposed to work with amateurs?
Last lesson, instill fear with a tough backstory.
And action.
Hey, new guy with the perfect hair,
what are you in for?
Oh, a teacher got chalk dust on my leather,
so I trashed his whole classroom.
Hope you didn't irritate that mosquito bite.
Stella, the Rusty Spokes Players
will no longer require your services.
It's detention time.
You ready? - Actually, yeah.
I'm surprised I'm saying this, but thank you, Rusty.
Your lessons were all super helpful.
Of course they were.
Now take these, so the bullies can't
see the fear in your eyes.
Rusty, I can barely see in these.
The darker the shades, the tougher the dude, my dude.
OK, strong first impression.
Ah!
OK, don't panic.
Just establish dominance.
Huh?
You're in my seat, punk!
Oh, so you want to be a tough guy, huh?
Look at this poser. What are you in for?
Did you lose a fight to a printer?
Good one, Anderson.
I know it's a good one, Pablo.
The name's--
The name's Zach.
Bones, uh, Z-Bones.
I'm in here because I had a rumble with the Hof.
Yeah, I didn't like the way his 'stache was looking at me,
so I was all, "You got a problem, huh?
Want some of this? 'Cause I'm serving it up hot."
You fought Bolhofner?
Yeah, right.
OK, chuckleheads, in your seats.
And thanks a lot for the shiner, Gurdle.
Huh?
Just checking in before I head out
for my daily swim in the gym pool.
And don't even think about making a run for it,
not like you'll get past Rocket anyway.
Whoa.
So, Zach, you really did take on the Hof.
It's Z-Bones, punk.
To Zach!
And Rusty for teaching him.
Yeah!
Whoo, whoo, yeah!
You guys should have seen it.
They totally think I'm one of them.
Honestly didn't see this one working out.
No offense, Rusty.
None taken.
Now all I have to do is get through tomorrow's detention,
and I'm home free.
You couldn't have done it without me.
I have return--
oh!
What's with these doors?
Watch out. Don't tackle me.
There he is!
Do you like my jacket, Z-Bones?
It's just like yours.
Listen, we've been talking.
And now that we know you're one of us,
we want to bring you in on a little fun today.
Oh, sure. Like volleyball?
Comic books? - Oh, no.
Way more fun than that.
All right, you know the drill by now.
I swim. You stay.
Rocket door. Cap snap.
Let's do this.
You coming, Z-Bones?
Oh, uh, the fun involves leaving the room.
Cool, cool, cool.
So where are we going?
The teacher's lounge?
I do hear they have excellent decaf.
Z-Bones, you slay me.
What's, uh-- what's all this for?
Oh, just booby trapping the place.
It's about time we get revenge on the teachers
who put us in detention, right, guys?
You're going to do what?
I mean, uh, I've always found
that whoopee cushions do the trick.
Yeah, like who tooted?
Not me, ha! It's hysterical.
You're not chickening out, are ya?
Good.
Anderson, that's a lot of cement.
Taylor, where'd you get that jar full of snakes?
Pablo, I didn't know they made glue traps that big.
I can't wait to see the look
on the teachers' faces tomorrow.
Yeah, they'll probably be all, ahh, ooh, ah, ha, ha!
Right, Z-Bones?
Yeah, totally.
All right, you're all free to go.
Ah!
You guys go on ahead without me.
I forgot my, uh, nunchucks.
Can't leave without them.
That Z-Bones is a wild card.
I can't let this happen.
Well, well, well, just as I suspected.
I was actually replacing these
with, uh, more dangerous ones.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Oh, phew.
We thought you were taking them down.
That's totally what he was doing, Pablo.
Look, I'm not the tough guy I was pretending to be.
I didn't actually bare-knuckle box Bolhofner.
I tackled him because I thought an alien
was living inside of him.
That's who I really am.
And you can wedgie me to oblivion,
but I am not gonna let you pull your prank.
The teachers don't deserve this.
You know what?
Saying that took some serious guts, newbie.
Guess you are pretty tough after all.
Yeah, and if we're being honest here,
I actually didn't want to do
the whole booby trap thing either.
Oh, my gosh. Thank goodness you said it.
Me neither. I don't want more detention.
The "My Fair Lady" auditions are coming up.
I was born to be in that show, guvnah!
Well, I was only doing it because I thought
you guys wanted to.
So, Z-Bones, you're into aliens?
That's pretty cool.
I've been saying that Bolhofner's
an extraterrestrial for years.
It would explain a lot.
So it turns out that I just needed
to be honest with those guys, and everything was cool.
That might work for you,
but us tough guys have a different code,
and I'm sticking to it.
Hey, Rusty.
Watch out for that mosquito. - What?
Where?
Ouchie! Nurse, please!
♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house ♪