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00:00:01,386 --> 00:00:04,318
[upbeat music]
2
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♪ ♪
3
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[gentle music]
4
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[snoring]
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♪ ♪
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Snore, snore.
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Ahh-ahh!
Yeah!
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Poo-poo!
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[giggling]
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Lily, are you tired yet?
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[laughing]
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[pots banging]
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[screams]
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It's going on 3:00 a.m., sweetie.
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[shouting]
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It's OK.
It's not your fault.
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It's your dad's.
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[snoring]
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- Wah!
- Ugh.
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That is the last time he
gives you a chocolate-covered
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espresso bean for dessert.
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"Uh,
I thought it was a raisin."
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Sake's alive.
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These hippity-hop shoes really
put a spring in my step!
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Ahh!
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Good for Mrs. Bernardo.
27
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[yawns] She finally got
a speaking role.
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I Miss Bernardo!
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Whee!
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All right,
this isn't working.
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Where are the car keys?
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Time for an old
trick that always
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worked on your siblings.
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We'll drive around
until you're sleepy.
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Horsey ride!
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[laughs]
- Oh, there are the keys.
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[snores]
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Grant,
there's too much paprika!
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[snoring]
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[giggling]
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Lily, it's almost 4:00 a.m.
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Aren't you--
[yawns]
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sleepy?
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[giggling]
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OK, I'll take that as a no.
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[yawns]
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Oh!
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[gasps]
Did you see that?
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Yep, bad guy, no good.
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Oh, we got to
call the police!
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OK, OK, where's my phone?
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[blows]
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[phone rings]
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Officer Shirley,
what is your emergency?
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I just saw a toddler--
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OK, no, wait, my toddler
and I just saw a burglar
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running out of Jean Juan's.
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He was a small man
or a medium-sized teen.
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We couldn't see the face.
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It's dark out,
and I'm tired, so my vision
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is a little blurry.
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Ma'am, could you slow down?
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But he was
definitely stealing food,
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the fromage con queso
or maybe the churro baguettes.
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Oh.
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Oh, that sounds
so good right now.
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Oh.
[snoring]
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[horn honks]
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[gasp] Oh, hang on.
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I dropped my phone.
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Oh, here it is!
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Are you still there?
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What are you and your
kid doing out at 4:00 a.m.?
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OK, well, my husband
gave her an espresso bean,
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and now she's wide awake.
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Sweetie, do you have to pee?
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No, I just went.
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Listen, hon,
you're not the first tired mom
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to call in a little confused.
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Last night,
we had a lady mistaking
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a possum for a werewolf.
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[chuckles] Why don't you
go home and get some rest?
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Ugh!
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Can you believe her?
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I am not just some tired,
confused mom.
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Rude!
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You know what, Lily?
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I say we do some
investigating of our own.
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00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,076
We track down the thief,
we get some evidence,
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and then we call that
officer back and say,
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"Who's confused now?"
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Yeah, yeah!
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This is exciting.
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We show her!
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Not to brag,
but Mommy has been listening
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to a ton of crime podcasts.
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Hmm, this would be a cakewalk
if we had a DNA processing kit.
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Look, footprints.
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Ah!
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[gasp]
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Fresh queso.
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Great job, sweetie!
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The trail's gone cold.
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If only we had a tracking
hound to catch the scent!
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[snores]
- Look!
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Paper!
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OK, how are you
finding everything?
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It's a map.
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I bet our guy drew it.
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The question is,
what are these locations?
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Steal more stuff?
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You're right.
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He wasn't just after
free appetizers.
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He is on a crime spree,
and these are the next spots
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he's going to hit!
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Let's see if we can
decipher these symbols.
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Hmm, this looks like
some kind of hieroglyph
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of an ancient bird.
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What does it mean?
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If only I'd paid attention
during Egyptian history!
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Chicken parm!
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[laughs] Now I see it.
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[tires screech]
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OK, this is the nearest farm.
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Keep your eyes peeled.
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[jazzy music]
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[gasp] There he is!
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What's he up to?
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[gasp] He's stealing a horse!
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Wow, fast horsey.
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Come on, let's tail him.
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[engine turning over]
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[tires squealing]
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I take picture!
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No good!
Get closer!
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Trying!
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It's not easy in the dark.
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Ahh!
Oh, no!
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The map!
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Look out!
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[both screaming]
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Whoa!
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Looks like we need a new ride.
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Horsey ride?
145
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Lily, that does
not belong to us.
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But he get away!
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Fine.
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OK, but let's leave a note.
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Yay!
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[giggles]
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Good boy-- or girl.
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Follow the tracks!
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00:06:00,145 --> 00:06:01,490
Dairyland?
154
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Mommy, look!
155
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Him inside.
156
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This crime spree
is never-ending.
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Come on!
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Let's get him.
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Stay close, Lily.
160
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He could be anywhere.
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[both gasp]
162
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Look!
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That police lady is going
to owe us a big, fat apology
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00:06:30,835 --> 00:06:32,593
when she sees our pictures.
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00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:36,662
Well, that should
be enough evidence.
166
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Hello?
[both gasp]
167
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Rita?
Rita, where are you?
168
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,214
Is Lily asleep?
169
00:06:42,214 --> 00:06:43,214
Oh, no.
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Shh!
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Turn off!
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Hon, I think you're on mute.
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I can't hear you.
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Can you hear me?
175
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both: Whew.
- Hey!
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both: Ahh!
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[panting]
178
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Oh, good idea!
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[jazzy music]
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♪ ♪
181
00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:04,593
Time for some coffee to go!
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[gasp]
Oh!
183
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Ahh!
184
00:07:07,318 --> 00:07:09,283
[giggling]
185
00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:11,111
Ahh!
186
00:07:11,111 --> 00:07:13,249
♪ ♪
187
00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:14,421
Aha!
188
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Come on!
This way!
189
00:07:19,076 --> 00:07:21,593
Ahh!
190
00:07:21,593 --> 00:07:23,731
[snoring]
191
00:07:23,731 --> 00:07:26,214
♪ ♪
192
00:07:26,214 --> 00:07:27,249
[snorts]
193
00:07:27,249 --> 00:07:30,455
Ugh!
194
00:07:30,455 --> 00:07:32,904
♪ ♪
195
00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:35,180
I'm going to find you!
196
00:07:36,731 --> 00:07:38,352
Ah!
197
00:07:38,352 --> 00:07:42,559
Why did they have
to use Limburger cheese?
198
00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:44,455
Come on, an exit's close.
199
00:07:44,455 --> 00:07:48,214
[panting]
200
00:07:48,214 --> 00:07:50,766
Look!
201
00:07:50,766 --> 00:07:53,490
Oh, looks like we
made it, sweetie.
202
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:54,490
both: Ah!
203
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:55,904
Ugh!
204
00:07:55,904 --> 00:07:57,421
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
205
00:07:57,421 --> 00:07:59,973
Well, well, what have we here?
206
00:07:59,973 --> 00:08:02,145
A couple of amateur detectives?
207
00:08:02,145 --> 00:08:04,007
Look, this was a big mistake.
208
00:08:04,007 --> 00:08:05,352
We promise not to tell.
209
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,697
Please, just let us go.
210
00:08:06,697 --> 00:08:09,455
Sorry,
but you've seen too much.
211
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:11,076
And now you must pay!
212
00:08:14,455 --> 00:08:17,455
Stay away from my child!
213
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,628
Oof!
214
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:19,800
Are you there, honey?
215
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,318
Hello?
216
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:22,318
Ow!
217
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:23,352
Be careful!
218
00:08:23,352 --> 00:08:25,524
My face is my instrument.
219
00:08:25,524 --> 00:08:27,800
Let's take five.
220
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,869
I need a cold compress.
221
00:08:29,869 --> 00:08:32,249
both: Mrs. Bernardo?
222
00:08:32,249 --> 00:08:34,007
Well, normally,
this is where you clap.
223
00:08:34,007 --> 00:08:36,421
But I'll accept
stunned silence.
224
00:08:36,421 --> 00:08:37,455
You're the thief?
225
00:08:37,455 --> 00:08:38,455
Wait.
226
00:08:38,455 --> 00:08:39,800
What is going on?
227
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,007
Is this a dream?
228
00:08:41,007 --> 00:08:42,524
Apologies for scaring you.
229
00:08:42,524 --> 00:08:44,111
I'm just training
for an audition
230
00:08:44,111 --> 00:08:47,214
to play a thief, a crook,
a desperado of the night!
231
00:08:47,214 --> 00:08:50,421
When I saw you were following
me, I decided to roll with it,
232
00:08:50,421 --> 00:08:51,904
as they say.
233
00:08:51,904 --> 00:08:55,042
Of course,
I wasn't going to harm you.
234
00:08:55,042 --> 00:08:58,904
You did all of this
to prepare for an audition?
235
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:02,421
We submerged
ourselves in cheese!
236
00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:03,800
Brava to that!
237
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,559
What an excellent improv.
238
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:09,800
But what about
all the stuff you stole?
239
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,766
Oh, stinky child.
240
00:09:11,766 --> 00:09:13,490
I'm going to put
everything back.
241
00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:14,628
Thespian's honor.
242
00:09:14,628 --> 00:09:17,180
I have done this many times.
243
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:19,835
Well, this has been
one crazy evening,
244
00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:22,214
but I suppose
I'm partly to blame.
245
00:09:22,214 --> 00:09:24,628
I never should have dragged
my child along while
246
00:09:24,628 --> 00:09:26,249
trying to play detective.
247
00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:29,145
Lily, sweetie,
I owe you an apology.
248
00:09:29,145 --> 00:09:32,593
[snoring]
249
00:09:32,593 --> 00:09:33,628
Wow.
250
00:09:33,628 --> 00:09:34,973
Look at that.
251
00:09:34,973 --> 00:09:36,800
I guess chasing you
around all night
252
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,731
finally put her to sleep.
253
00:09:38,731 --> 00:09:40,283
[birds chirping]
254
00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:43,042
Can't wait to see your big
commercial, Mrs. Bernardo.
255
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:45,283
Thanks for suggesting
we get together.
256
00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:46,318
But of course!
257
00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:47,662
We're old friends now.
258
00:09:47,662 --> 00:09:48,697
Also, I don't own a television.
259
00:09:48,697 --> 00:09:50,628
[chuckles]
260
00:09:50,628 --> 00:09:51,593
[gasps]
Here it is!
261
00:09:51,593 --> 00:09:53,076
Volume up.
262
00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:55,835
Get ready for the
performance of a lifetime!
263
00:09:58,524 --> 00:10:00,042
[alarm blaring]
264
00:10:00,042 --> 00:10:01,455
Murray Security Systems,
265
00:10:01,455 --> 00:10:04,455
home of the loudest alarms
in town!
266
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,283
I don't understand.
267
00:10:07,283 --> 00:10:08,318
Where were you?
268
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:10,318
Those were my hands!
269
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,421
Ha, ha, ha!
270
00:10:12,421 --> 00:10:14,076
[both clapping]
271
00:10:14,076 --> 00:10:16,318
Oh, no, no, no,
stop, stop, please.
272
00:10:16,318 --> 00:10:18,524
I'm simply verklempt.
273
00:10:18,524 --> 00:10:20,421
Oh!
274
00:10:20,421 --> 00:10:23,214
Care to accompany me to the
Burpin' Burger establishment?
275
00:10:23,214 --> 00:10:25,938
I need to research fast
food for an upcoming role--
276
00:10:25,938 --> 00:10:28,111
woman by soda machine.
277
00:10:28,111 --> 00:10:31,904
Hmm, I could go for
burgers, just no cheese.
278
00:10:31,904 --> 00:10:33,593
Horsey ride?
279
00:10:33,593 --> 00:10:37,249
OK, Lily, but we've got to
take them back eventually.
280
00:10:37,249 --> 00:10:39,904
[horse neighing]
281
00:10:39,904 --> 00:10:41,559
Hon, how long are
these guys staying?
282
00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:43,524
I'm running out of lasagnas!
283
00:10:43,524 --> 00:10:45,145
[laughter]
284
00:10:48,111 --> 00:10:49,421
♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
285
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:51,455
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
286
00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:54,386
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
287
00:10:54,386 --> 00:10:57,042
♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
288
00:10:57,042 --> 00:10:59,249
♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪
289
00:10:59,249 --> 00:11:02,249
♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪
290
00:11:02,249 --> 00:11:03,559
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
291
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,007
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
292
00:11:05,007 --> 00:11:06,042
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
293
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:07,249
♪ Never any privacy ♪
294
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,042
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
295
00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:12,111
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
296
00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:13,490
♪ In the Loud house ♪