[bell rings]
Gah!
This just in: the school newspaper is
in extra, extra big trouble!
- Ahh! - The headline:
"Editor Jamie Hiller is in a Panic
Over Terrible Readership Numbers"!
What we need are really gritty stories to grab new readers.
Ashley, what you got for me?
Do not pitch me another story about your aunt's new hot tub.
I got nothing.
[huffs] Okay, Petey, dazzle me.
Hmm. What about...
- hot dogs? - [groans]
Everyone knows processed pork is out!
There has to be some way to get folks to read our rag!
[kids chuckling]
And listen to this.
Armen cut in front of Lexi Rose on the monkey bars
and now they won't even look at each other!
[all gasp]
Lola, you always have the best gossip!
Oh, yeah! Don't just keep sipping tea!
Spill it! Tell us more!
Okay, how about this one.
Rumor has it that someone's been pranking
Principal Huggins by blasting an air horn at him.
It's made him a wreck.
- [kids gasp] - [nervous babbling]
[loud slurping]
Oh...
- [air horn blares] - [yelps, grumbles]
Press coming through.
Sorry, people, we need an exclusive interview with Lola.
Jamie Hiller. Student editor, The Elementary Herald.
Your mom works for my Aunt Jesse at the Gazette,
and I want you to work for me!
Our paper needs some "oomph"
and your goss could be just the thing.
How about writing a column for us?
Ugh, writing?
Sounds like work.
You'd get your picture in the paper.
Ooh! So I'd be, like,
the star writer of the newspaper?
Okay, well, there's a staff--
Who knows where it could lead?
One day the school paper,
the next day a national talk show!
[humming cheerful tune]
That's the theme song. I just wrote it.
Lola is in!
[mumbling nervously]
- [air horn blares] - [yelps, grunts]
Let the wild goss chase begin!
But I gotta play it subtle
so people don't know I'm eavesdropping on them.
Why does it always have to be a Number 2 pencil?
What if I wanted to use an eight?
Or a one billion?
- [gasps] - [boy yelps]
[forced laughter] Right?
- That's what I said, Charlie! - My name is Logan.
And I don't know what you're talking about.
- Ha! Classic Charlie! - [crashing]
Slurp, slurp. Mmm!
Such yummy water.
I like peas. Asparagus I can live without.
Get back to me on carrots.
...the toilet in stall three definitely has better suction.
[Lola groans] None of this is goss-worthy enough
for my very first column!
What you up to, Mrs. Johnson?
[mysterious music playing]
[dramatic fanfare plays]
[chuckles]
[shutter clicks]
- [Principal Huggins whistling] - [gasps]
- [air horn blaring] - [screams, grunts]
[dramatic musical flourish]
[excited chatter]
Room for one more?
I don't know about you, Cheryl,
but I suddenly feel very uncomfortable in this cafeteria.
Let's eat lunch in our offices, shall we?
Oh, come on, Wilbur! It was a joke!
[sighs]
Oh, like none of you ever made bad life choices!
[lively jazzy music playing]
[snickers]
[shutter clicks]
[narrator] Chapter nine in our
Sports for the Uncoordinated series,
the cricket swing.
- Paddles up, everyone! - [grunts]
And swing!
[yelps, groans]
- [Lola snickers] - [shutter clicks]
[fabric ripping]
[squeaking]
Please, Lola!
You can't write about my Blarney underpants!
Sorry, sweetie. When Lola sees the goss,
Lola tells the goss. Bye-ee!
[squeaking]
Headline: our readership is through the roof,
and it's thanks to your column, Lola.
This is bigger than when Ashley won a Pulitzer!
My proudest moment.
I got one of Mr. Pulitzer's slide whistles
for winning recess bingo.
Breaking news, Lola:
I'm moving your column to the front page!
[gasps] I always knew blabbing was my special gift.
Blarney is so kindergarten.
[both snickering]
So, you got gossed, too, huh?
Join us at the table of shame.
[light jazz music playing]
Must be people from school here today.
Mama needs some grade-A dirt.
My readers expect no less.
Oof!
[gasps] Cheryl and Meryl?
Ooh! That's a goss goldmine!
[tires screeching]
[groans]
[both grunting]
[straining]
Beat ya again, sis!
Time to pay up. And guess what I want?
How many pairs of boot-scootin' boots
does one boot-scooter need?
Keep losin' and we'll find out! [laughs]
[groans]
[grunting]
[straining]
[scoffs] Fantastic.
First Cheryl and Meryl fail me, now I'm stuck!
Psst!
- [grunts] - Yeowch!
Flip, you have to get me out fast!
I cannot have anybody from school seeing me like this!
And money is not an issue!
[chuckles] Aww, everybody gets ol' Flip.
It just goes to show you how beloved I am.
Hey, nothin' greases up the dome better than lime Flippee Syrup.
Ecch!
Oop! 'Scuse the hands.
Had me a hankerin' for spicy corn chips.
[both straining]
[Nacho screeches]
- [pigeons cooing] - Ugh! Hey! Ahh!
[Lola grumbles]
Okay, Nacho, give it some gas!
[engine starts]
[metal creaking]
It's working. It's working!
Come on, raccoon! Step on it!
[engine revving]
[murmurs]
[engine straining]
[engine stops]
[sighs] Guess I have no other choice.
Flip, call the fire department.
But tell them absolutely no sirens!
Well-- Ow!
At least no one-- Ow!
...from school is-- Ow! ...here.
Hmm?
[suspenseful music playing]
Please don't see me.
Huh?
And that, my friends, is direct eye contact.
- [gasps] - [cheering]
Thank you for your service!
[panting]
How much to keep your mouth shut?
Ten? Twenty? A hundred?
A hundred thousand?!
Not that much, I got carried away.
Name your price, Winston!
- Between ten and a hundred. - What are you talking about?
I'll pay you not to tell everyone
what you saw here today.
Me. The fence. Et cetera.
Take one more dollar and I will make
your raccoon life miserable!
[fearful chittering]
I wasn't going to tell anyone about what happened.
Why not? That's the hottest goss of the year.
I'd blab immediately!
Well, that's the difference between you and me.
I'm not a meanie.
[gasps] And what exactly is that supposed to mean?
Ever since you wrote about my Blarney underpants,
people have been teasing me.
And I'm not the only one you've embarrassed.
You haven't noticed all the people in school
wearing dark sunglasses?
I just thought indoor sunglasses were making a comeback.
Maybe that's the problem. You don't even realize
how hurtful your gossip is. Hmm.
Wow, he's right.
I have been a meanie.
I've got to find a way to make this up to everybody.
Phew! Here goes nothin'.
Hot off the presses!
Got the latest goss right here!
The tea is scorching today!
Lola! Your new column is a smash!
Spilling the beans on yourself?
How will you top that?
I won't.
Because I am resigning from the newspaper.
[gasps] Ah. Don't yank my gam, Loud.
Please, tell me you're joking.
Sorry, but I realized people's feelings are more important
than getting a front-page story.
But--
[all giggling]
[light string music playing]
[students giggling and chattering]
What a big head!
The whole fire department came!
Agnes, do you hear that?
It's the sweet sound of freedom!
They're not gossiping about us anymore!
[cheering and whooping]
- [air horn blares] - [yelps, grunts]
I'll... eat lunch in my car.
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
- ♪ In the Loud House ♪ - ♪ Loud House ♪
♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the Loud House ♪ - ♪ Loud House ♪
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way it always is in the Loud House ♪