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[bell rings]
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Gah!
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00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,517
This just in:
the school newspaper is
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in extra, extra big trouble!
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- Ahh!
- The headline:
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"Editor Jamie Hiller
is in a Panic
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Over Terrible Readership
Numbers"!
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00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:28,529
What we need are really gritty
stories to grab new readers.
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00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,464
Ashley, what you got for me?
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Do not pitch me another story
about your aunt's new hot tub.
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I got nothing.
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[huffs] Okay, Petey, dazzle me.
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Hmm. What about...
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- hot dogs?
- [groans]
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Everyone knows
processed pork is out!
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00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,015
There has to be some way to get
folks to read our rag!
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[kids chuckling]
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00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,119
And listen to this.
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Armen cut in front of Lexi Rose
on the monkey bars
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and now they won't
even look at each other!
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[all gasp]
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Lola, you always have
the best gossip!
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Oh, yeah!
Don't just keep sipping tea!
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Spill it! Tell us more!
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Okay, how about this one.
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Rumor has it
that someone's been pranking
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Principal Huggins by blasting
an air horn at him.
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It's made him a wreck.
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- [kids gasp]
- [nervous babbling]
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[loud slurping]
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Oh...
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- [air horn blares]
- [yelps, grumbles]
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Press coming through.
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Sorry, people, we need an
exclusive interview with Lola.
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Jamie Hiller. Student editor,
The Elementary Herald.
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Your mom works for my
Aunt Jesse at the Gazette,
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and I want you to work for me!
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Our paper needs some "oomph"
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and your goss could be
just the thing.
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How about writing
a column for us?
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Ugh, writing?
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Sounds like work.
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You'd get your picture
in the paper.
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Ooh! So I'd be, like,
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the star writer
of the newspaper?
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Okay, well, there's a staff--
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Who knows where it could lead?
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One day the school paper,
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the next day
a national talk show!
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[humming cheerful tune]
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That's the theme song.
I just wrote it.
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Lola is in!
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[mumbling nervously]
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- [air horn blares]
- [yelps, grunts]
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Let the wild goss chase begin!
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00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,573
But I gotta play it subtle
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so people don't know
I'm eavesdropping on them.
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Why does it always have to be
a Number 2 pencil?
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What if I wanted to
use an eight?
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Or a one billion?
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- [gasps]
- [boy yelps]
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[forced laughter] Right?
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- That's what I said, Charlie!
- My name is Logan.
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And I don't know
what you're talking about.
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- Ha! Classic Charlie!
- [crashing]
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Slurp, slurp. Mmm!
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Such yummy water.
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I like peas.
Asparagus I can live without.
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Get back to me on carrots.
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...the toilet in stall three
definitely has better suction.
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[Lola groans] None of this
is goss-worthy enough
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for my very first column!
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What you up to, Mrs. Johnson?
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[mysterious music playing]
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[dramatic fanfare plays]
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[chuckles]
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[shutter clicks]
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- [Principal Huggins whistling]
- [gasps]
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- [air horn blaring]
- [screams, grunts]
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[dramatic musical flourish]
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[excited chatter]
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Room for one more?
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I don't know about you, Cheryl,
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but I suddenly feel very
uncomfortable in this cafeteria.
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Let's eat lunch
in our offices, shall we?
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Oh, come on, Wilbur!
It was a joke!
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[sighs]
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Oh, like none of you
ever made bad life choices!
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[lively jazzy music playing]
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[snickers]
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[shutter clicks]
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[narrator] Chapter nine in our
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Sports for the Uncoordinated
series,
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the cricket swing.
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- Paddles up, everyone!
- [grunts]
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And swing!
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[yelps, groans]
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- [Lola snickers]
- [shutter clicks]
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[fabric ripping]
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[squeaking]
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Please, Lola!
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You can't write about
my Blarney underpants!
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Sorry, sweetie.
When Lola sees the goss,
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Lola tells the goss. Bye-ee!
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[squeaking]
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Headline: our readership
is through the roof,
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00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,741
and it's thanks to
your column, Lola.
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This is bigger than when
Ashley won a Pulitzer!
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My proudest moment.
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I got one of Mr. Pulitzer's
slide whistles
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for winning recess bingo.
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Breaking news, Lola:
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I'm moving your column
to the front page!
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[gasps] I always knew blabbing
was my special gift.
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Blarney is so kindergarten.
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[both snickering]
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So, you got gossed, too, huh?
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Join us at the table of shame.
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[light jazz music playing]
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Must be people
from school here today.
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Mama needs some grade-A dirt.
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My readers expect no less.
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Oof!
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[gasps] Cheryl and Meryl?
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Ooh! That's a goss goldmine!
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[tires screeching]
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[groans]
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[both grunting]
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[straining]
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Beat ya again, sis!
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Time to pay up.
And guess what I want?
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How many pairs
of boot-scootin' boots
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does one boot-scooter need?
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Keep losin' and we'll find out!
[laughs]
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[groans]
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[grunting]
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[straining]
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[scoffs] Fantastic.
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First Cheryl and Meryl fail me,
now I'm stuck!
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Psst!
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- [grunts]
- Yeowch!
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Flip, you have to
get me out fast!
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I cannot have anybody from
school seeing me like this!
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And money is not an issue!
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[chuckles]
Aww, everybody gets ol' Flip.
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It just goes to show you
how beloved I am.
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Hey, nothin' greases up the dome
better than lime Flippee Syrup.
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Ecch!
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Oop! 'Scuse the hands.
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Had me a hankerin'
for spicy corn chips.
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[both straining]
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[Nacho screeches]
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- [pigeons cooing]
- Ugh! Hey! Ahh!
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[Lola grumbles]
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Okay, Nacho, give it some gas!
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[engine starts]
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[metal creaking]
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It's working. It's working!
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Come on, raccoon! Step on it!
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[engine revving]
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[murmurs]
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[engine straining]
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[engine stops]
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[sighs] Guess I have
no other choice.
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Flip, call the fire department.
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But tell them
absolutely no sirens!
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Well-- Ow!
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At least no one-- Ow!
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...from school is-- Ow! ...here.
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Hmm?
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[suspenseful music playing]
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Please don't see me.
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Huh?
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And that, my friends,
is direct eye contact.
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- [gasps]
- [cheering]
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Thank you for your service!
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[panting]
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How much
to keep your mouth shut?
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Ten? Twenty? A hundred?
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A hundred thousand?!
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Not that much,
I got carried away.
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Name your price, Winston!
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- Between ten and a hundred.
- What are you talking about?
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I'll pay you
not to tell everyone
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what you saw here today.
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Me. The fence. Et cetera.
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Take one more dollar
and I will make
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your raccoon life miserable!
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[fearful chittering]
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I wasn't going to tell anyone
about what happened.
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Why not? That's the hottest
goss of the year.
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I'd blab immediately!
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Well, that's the difference
between you and me.
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I'm not a meanie.
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00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,478
[gasps] And what exactly is that
supposed to mean?
196
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,949
Ever since you wrote about
my Blarney underpants,
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00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,818
people have been teasing me.
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00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:13,053
And I'm not the only one
you've embarrassed.
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00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,988
You haven't noticed
all the people in school
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wearing dark sunglasses?
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00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,393
I just thought indoor sunglasses
were making a comeback.
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00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,963
Maybe that's the problem.
You don't even realize
203
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,565
how hurtful your gossip is. Hmm.
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00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,501
Wow, he's right.
205
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,070
I have been a meanie.
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00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,373
I've got to find a way
to make this up to everybody.
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00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,412
Phew! Here goes nothin'.
208
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,181
Hot off the presses!
209
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,817
Got the latest goss right here!
210
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,153
The tea is scorching today!
211
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,191
Lola!
Your new column is a smash!
212
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,094
Spilling the beans on yourself?
213
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,729
How will you top that?
214
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,030
I won't.
215
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,566
Because I am resigning
from the newspaper.
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00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,736
[gasps] Ah.
Don't yank my gam, Loud.
217
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,738
Please, tell me you're joking.
218
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:08,175
Sorry, but I realized people's
feelings are more important
219
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,443
than getting a front-page story.
220
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:11,478
But--
221
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,747
[all giggling]
222
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,949
[light string music playing]
223
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:20,453
[students giggling
and chattering]
224
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:23,724
What a big head!
225
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,293
The whole fire department came!
226
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,962
Agnes, do you hear that?
227
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,032
It's the sweet sound of freedom!
228
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,335
They're not gossiping
about us anymore!
229
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,838
[cheering and whooping]
230
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,773
- [air horn blares]
- [yelps, grunts]
231
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,812
I'll... eat lunch in my car.
232
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,720
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
233
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,522
- ♪ In the Loud House ♪
- ♪ Loud House ♪
234
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,825
♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
235
00:10:57,925 --> 00:11:00,493
♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪
236
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,263
- ♪ In the Loud House ♪
- ♪ Loud House ♪
237
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,732
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
238
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,433
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
239
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,836
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
Never any privacy ♪
240
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,004
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
241
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,875
♪ That's the way it always is
in the Loud House ♪