[clicking]
Okay, science club. Listen up.
For our next order of business,
we will be holding a fundraiser to buy a telescope!
- Ooh! - Yes!
Not that I don't appreciate
the one the art club donated to us.
[creak, clunk]
[clears throat] Each of you will receive
a wagon full of scented candles
to raise money for the Galacta-tron 3000!
[gasps] A Galacta-tron 3000?!
Wunderkids Weekly says it can see 3 million light years away!
[all marvel]
But keep in mind,
we can only afford it if every student sells
all of the candles in their wagon.
I have never dabbled
in the exchange of goods for currency,
but how difficult could it be?
[knocking on door]
Greetings, cash-having citizen.
May I interest you in buying scented candles?
They only cost... 15 dollars?
It's just soy, paraffin, and vanilla extract.
[snorts] Seems a bit excessive, but...
Anyhoo, how many can I put you down for?
[doorbell rings]
Greetings!
Would you like to buy some scented candles?
With that many cats, I can only imagine
the putrid odors plaguing your abode.
- [hisses] - [cats yowling]
You'll take one cinnamon, one pine?
Splendid! Let me find those.
[sniffs] Peach.
[sniffs] Aw, warm linen.
[sniffs] New car.
[sniffs] Hot apple pie.
[sniffs] Tree bark.
[sniffs] Sauteed onions.
[coughs] Sorry.
The combination of scents is inducing nausea.
[retches]
[vomits, coughs]
Oh, no!
You got fungus
in my bacteria culture.
Thanks, TODD, but even a reenactment
of the development of penicillin won't make me feel better.
What's wrong? Did someone say "expresso" wrong again?
[sighs] Only you. But that's not the problem.
Science club is having a fundraiser,
and I'm letting everyone down because I can't convince anyone
to buy a single candle.
Well, I happen to be a convincing expert.
- [shudders] - [giggles nervously]
Sorry. I thought I had my convincing suit on under there.
Anyway, I think I can convince a team of specialists to help.
Welcome to the Loud School of Sales!
Hmm. Interesting.
Leni, Lola, and I will teach you how to win over customers.
Lesson one: Be approachable.
At Reininger's, all employees greet customers
with a smile and eye contact.
Oh, pishposh, that's ridicu--
[bright tinkling]
I suddenly have a strange urge to hand you all my money.
[chuckles] That was impressive.
Lesson two: People are way more likely to buy from you
if you shower them with compliments.
And a person with your superb intellect
should be able to do that with her eyes closed!
Also, loving that shag hairstyle.
So chic!
[giggles] Why, thank you!
So, can I have 20 bucks?
Of course, anything for--
Oh. Oh, I see what you did there.
Kudos.
Finally, you'll need a convincing suit.
Here's one of mine.
It'll help you feel confident
so you can nail any sale.
Mmm... after I take it in a little.
[doorbell rings]
Well, hi there, Cookie Crumb!
What brings you all the way over here?
Okay, let's see...
"Start with a smile."
Ugh!
"Make eye contact."
[beep]
[whirring]
Ah!
"Use flattery."
Uh... My, your hair is especially, uh, bulbous today.
Bulbous?
I'm sure after all that charm
I dazzled you with,
you're feeling convinced to buy scented candles, right?
[grunting]
Whoa! Whoa! Ah!
[grunting continues]
[coughs]
[clears throat] So where were we?
[sighs] How can someone with a brain like mine
not be able to sell candles?!
[gasps] That's it!
My brain!
With my Brain Lobe Enlargement Helmet,
or BLEH,
we can locate the exact section of the brain
responsible for salesmanship and enlarge it.
- Alright, TODD, engage! - [bell dings]
[gasps] I feel like a salesperson already!
Actually, that was me.
My toaster pastry is ready.
Engaging the BLEH now.
Astrophysics, multivariable calculus,
dental hygiene...
Aha! Salesmanship!
[gasps] That's it!
Okay, TODD, press command, shift, plus.
[ding]
[trilling beep]
Press it again!
[ding]
[beeping]
And again! And again and again!
- Keep going! - [dinging]
[suspenseful music playing]
[beeping]
How do you feel, Lisa?
Oh-ho! I feel ready to make some sales!
By the way, TODD, are those new wires?
Because they are working for ya!
May I interest you in a candle?
I cannot smell, but I will take five!
He-hey, you gorgeous goths!
Nothing conjures the dead like the smell of fresh lavender.
Light one of these babies and you'll have
the whole underworld lining up to possess you!
[swinging, jazzy music playing]
Trust me. With this Kiss From a Rose candle,
you can turn this place from pigsty to hog heaven!
[sniffing]
[snorting happily]
Virginia, pay the nice lady!
[cash register dings]
[swinging music continues]
You should have seen me, TODD.
I am a sales machine!
I dropped the cash off at school
so the club can get their telescope.
Hurray! Time to get your brain back to normal.
Ah, no, no, no. Let's not be hasty.
Selling is the ultimate hoot!
My serotonin levels are through the proverbial roof!
Let's keep this party going!
Sell! Sell! Sell!
I do not like where this is going.
I need a pastry pronto.
[bell dings]
[birds chirping]
[light jazz music playing]
Boy, how good would that look on a raccoon?
Ooh! Eh, Nacho has been in the market
for a good cotton onesie for a while.
Come back soon.
My guy! Has anyone ever told you
that you have the build of a power athlete?
A little time with this barbell and I think we might be looking
at the future Mr. Senior Universe!
[grunting]
What are you doing selling my barbell?
I need it for my deadlift seshes.
Ah-ah, no, you don't.
A force of nature like you needs something
that makes you really engage your glutes.
Like, uh, Flip's tow truck!
[bright tinkling]
Strap it to yourself and pull
for the best workout of your life.
And it's yours for just five dollars!
Deal!
Let's see, what's next? What's next? Uh...
[gasps]
Bingo!
Lisa, what are you doing?
Why, selling the house, of course!
It's a complete gut job.
The wear and tear of eleven kids is no joke,
but, uh, some ding-dong will buy it.
Lisa, you have gone too far.
It is time to go back to normal.
[growls]
Uh-oh...
Ya got yourselves a real bargain.
Enjoy your new robot assistant, complete with toaster oven.
Even though you sold me, you are still my best friend!
[gasps] Wait a minute.
I sold TODD?
Why would I do that?
We did what had to be done. We're better off without him.
But TODD is my friend!
A friend that was getting in the way of a sales train.
[yells, gasps]
I command you to cease!
Oh no, you don't!
[Sales Lisa] Ah! You are mussing my sales!
[Lisa] Unhand me, you fiend!
[grunting]
[groaning] Sales Lisa is too strong!
[exclaiming]
Why are you fighting me?
I'm gonna make us rich!
With my skills, I can sell anything to anyone!
- [bell dings] - Eureka!
You know, uh, Sales Lisa,
I'm not so sure you can sell to anyone.
Of course I can!
Bet you can't sell that silly brain helmet to me!
Oh, pshaw.
Easy money.
Behold, the BLEH!
It has a dazzling silver finish and is lightweight,
making it the perfect accessory for the genius gal on the go!
I don't know. It looks complicated.
Maybe if you demonstrate it for me?
Of course!
It's very user-friendly. You just have to--
Wait a second.
Ha-ha! Too late! So long, Sales Lisa!
[winces]
No, no, no!
I have so much left to sell!
Oh, phew.
Now there's just one more thing I need to do.
Ta-da!
All the toaster pastries you could ever want.
Aw. Thank you, Lisa.
I'm sorry for getting so out of control.
It's great to be back to myself.
[computer pings]
Huh. Since the last fundraiser was such a success,
the science club wants to have another one
to buy stain-proof lab coats.
Okay. We'll each need to sell a wagon full of--
[thunderous zapping]
[sizzling]
Sorry. I may have overreacted.
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud House ♪
♪ Loud House ♪
♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud House ♪
♪ Loud House ♪
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud House ♪