- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey
- ♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the loud house in the loud house ♪
♪ Dodge, dodge push and shove That's how we show our love ♪
- ♪ In the loud house in the loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy Ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud! House! ♪
- ♪ Loud! Loud house! ♪
- Poo poo.
♪
Join me, Hunter Spector, spectre hunter,
leader of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters,
or ARGGH!
as I descend into the scariest place
the basement!
- Don't miss it or you'll be left in the dark.
- It's finally here, the live season finale
of the greatest show ever!
All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself,
Lincoln, with ten sisters, there's no way
you're going to get to watch your favorite show.
And you'd be right.
Every Sunday at 8:00, it's the same thing.
- I was here first!
- But tonight, I have a plan.
Cadet Lincoln calling Cadet Clyde, do you read me?
- This is Cadet Clyde, I read you loud and clear.
I'm so excited!
We finally get to watch "ARGGH!" together,
and by "together," I mean you at your house
and me at mine, right?
- For such a landmark event, we decided
it'd be best for us to watch it separately.
Clyde's got a huge crush on my sister, Lori.
It gets awkward.
- Hubba hubba.
- Clyde? Clyde, do you read me?
- Uh, you'd better hurry, Lincoln, it's almost 8:00.
- It's time to put Operation Distract My Sisters
So That I Can Get to the TV First
and Watch the Special Live Season Finale of "ARGGH!"
and Think of a Shorter Name for This Operation...
into action.
Cartoons!
Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!
- Did someone say, "Tea party"?
- Thank you, Lincoln.
- Hey, I don't wanna be part of some dumb old tea party.
I'm going to watch TV!
- Not even if these guys are invited?
- Thanks, Lincoln!
- Hey, Luan.
- I was just heading downstairs to watch TV.
- You might want to grab your video camera instead.
The twins are at it again.
- You can't! You can't!
VIP only!
- This is totally gonna go viral!
- Ow! Ow! - Thanks, Linc.
- Hey, Lisa, I saved you a trip downstairs
and got that stuff you needed.
- The lactose, triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals,
sucrose, and galus galus ovum?
- Uh, you mean, milk, flour, salt, sugar, and eggs?
You say tomato, I say Solanum Lycopersicum.
Thank you.
- Yeah! Two minutes to game time. Whoo!
- Hey, Lynn, check it out. I filled it with helium
for the extreme player who demands more.
- I demand more.
- Uh, go long!
-
Get over here, you!
- Oh, my gosh, Leni!
- What? Is there a spider on me?
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
- Worse, there's a zit on the end of your nose.
- I'm a hideous monster.
- Hey, bro. TV tonight
is gonna be rockin'! Yeah!
- Or you could have your very own
flashlight rock show in your bedroom.
- That is sweet. Thanks, Linc.
- Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live-tweet my show.
- Hey, Lori.
Hey, hey, Lori, I found your phone.
- Give me that! How many times
do I have to tell you to keep your hands
off of my stuff? - Three, two, one.
- Hello?
Oh, hi, Bobby.
No, I didn't text you to call me,
but I'm glad you did.
Thanks for nothing, twerp.
- And that makes ten.
Like I said, I might not be the fastest
and I might not be the strongest,
but to get all of my sisters out of the way,
it pays to have a plan.
- You forgot me. - Ahh!
- Lucy! I always forget about Lucy!
- Story of my life.
- What are you doing here?
- It's the season premiere of my favorite show,
"Vampires of Melancholia."
- This is the episode of "ARGGH!" that everyone's
going to be talking about at school tomorrow.
Please let me watch it.
Pretty please with a black cherry on top?
- I'm sorry, Lincoln, but you know the rule.
I was here...
First.
- No!
Ha!
- That's the old remote that Lily threw into the toilet.
- Ugh!
- Sorry, Lincoln, I can't miss my vampires.
Edwin is so cold and tormented and mysterious.
Sigh.
If only he wasn't from another century.
- Another century.
That's okay, Lucy,
you watch your show on the big color TV.
I'll just go watch my show
on Dad's crummy old black and white TV.
- Black and white are my favorite colors.
- Yeah, it'll make watching my show
a little bit more spooky.
- Spooky is also my favorite color.
- Well, enjoy your vampires.
- Wait. I'll take the old TV.
How can only two colors be so heavy?
Here you are.
Now to plug it in,
so you can be happy or sad or whatever that emotion is.
And I won't be left in the dark.
Dang it.
- All right, all right,
everybody just calm down.
- Guys, I can't see anything!
I think I've gone blind.
- No, you didn't go blind. What the heck happened?
- I was just plugging in the old TV for Lucy
and it must have made the lights go out.
- Of course it was your fault, Lincoln.
- Lincoln!
- What? All I did was
plug in some dumb old TV.
- Hey, I know why the lights went out,
'cause they liked each other.
Get it? Get it?
- That one was so good,
it deserves a cookie.
- Oh, thanks. So anyway,
what did one light bulb say to the other?
- You're glowing.
- Oh, I already told you that one?
- No, dude, you are glowing.
- Hey, wow.
- Everyone back away from Luan.
Lisa, Mom and Dad said you're not allowed to use
your siblings as experimental guinea pigs anymore.
- Yeah, not after what you did to me.
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
- My face feels funny.
- Classic.
All I did was infuse the bioluminescent DNA
of the Aequorea Victoria Jellyfish into a cookie.
I call them "Gloweos." Besides, now we can see.
- Okay, everyone huddle around Luan.
- I always knew I was the light of your life.
- Okay, so how about we get that power back on?
- Hey, when Mom and Dad are out, I'm in charge,
so first, we need to get a head count
to make sure we're all here.
- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
And me. That's 11. Yep, that's all of us.
We are all here and accounted for.
- You forgot me. - Ahh!
Can I go flip the circuit breaker
and get the lights back on
before Lucy gives me a heart attack?
- Again, in charge. I'll do it.
Where is this circuit breaker thingy?
- In the basement.
- Why am I the one who has to do this?
Because you're in charge.
- All right, all right. Come on, Luan, light the way.
- That's the brightest idea you've had all day.
- Ooh.
I thought I was staying in tonight,
but I guess I'm going out.
- Lisa, give her another one of those cookies.
We won't tell.
- Negative. That was the only one.
Prototype.
- Just great.
There's something in the basement.
I'm not going down there.
- Ooh! You're scared of the dark.
- I am not. You're the one who's scared.
- I'm not afraid of anything.
- Boo. - Ahh!
There's a ghost in the basement!
- Guys! I'm running out of time!
It's really important that I-I-I--
Fix this.
Okay, quiet!
Come here, you two. It's okay.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Your big brother will protect you.
In fact, I will protect all of you!
For I am Cadet Lincoln, highly trained student
of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters, or...
"ARGGH!"
Cadet Clyde, this is Cadet Lincoln.
Forget the plan. I'm going to need back up.
♪
- Cadet Clyde, reporting for duty.
L-L-L-Lori?
Red alert, red alert. does not compute.
Circuit overload. Must abort mission.
- I told you it gets awkward.
I will now descend into the scariest place
the basement.
But fear not. With my official
"ARGGH!" branded night-vision goggles,
I can see in the dark.
Ahh!
- Lincoln? Are you okay?
- The bad news is, my goggles are just a toy,
and do not really see in the dark.
The good news is, they cushioned my face
from the hard basement floor.
- Hey, I think my video camera has a night vision setting.
- Sweet!
It's just like the cameras they use on "ARGGH!"
I'm going in.
- Wait! You're not leaving us up here all alone are you?
I mean, we couldn't possibly let you go down there all alone,
we should all go down together, as a group.
- Very well. I'll lead the way.
You may want to stay close. There's no telling
what could be lurking down here in the dark.
- There's nothing funny about this situation,
although I do like dark humor.
- Is someone touching my hand?
- You're touching your own hand.
- I hate basements.
- Ahh! What's that moaning?
- Don't freak out. It's just the pipes settling.
-What's that scratching?
- Don't be scared. It's just Cliff the cat.
- What is that smell?
- It's just Lily with a full diaper.
- Poo poo.
- See, guys? I told you
there's nothing to be afraid of.
- What is it?
- Lincoln. Lincoln!
- It's a ghost, and it knows my name!
I'll save you, sisters.
Hiya-a-a!
Hiya! Take that, evil spirit!
- Cool it, Lincoln, it's not a ghost.
It's just our laundry.
- Lincoln, Lincoln, do you read me?
- Clyde?
- I was just callin' to say sorry
for not being such a good "ARGGH!" cadet,
and is your sister ready to date younger men?
- Never gonna happen.
- Was that your sister? Red alert. Red alert.
Overload. Overload.
- Guys, I still can't see!
- Open your eyes.
- It's a miracle!
- First one to the TV is couch commando.
- I can still get there first!
♪
- Wow! That was by far
the best episode of "ARGGH!" ever.
I'd hate to be you if you missed it.
- No-o-o!
I can't believe I missed my show.
- Sorry you missed your show, Lincoln.
- But you just lived it. Check it out.
- It's a ghost and it knows my name!
- I wasn't scared at all.
- You know, I may have missed my show,
but sometimes, it's not about being there first.
Sometimes, it's about being there together,
all of us.
- You forgot me.
♪
- Take that, zombie. Feel my twerk, you evil jerk.
-
- Hoo! -
- Hoo! Ha! Hoo!
Ha! Hoo! Ha! Hoo!
- - Ooh!
- Boom! -
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- - Lincoln!
- Ugh.
- There's only one rule in this house.
Stay out of my bedroom!
If I catch you in here again, I will literally
turn you into a human pretzel!
No, not you, Bobby.
One sec, okay?
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ow! Yeah.
Zombies don't need to see this.
Occupied!
I can't believe some--
- Bobby, you'll never guess what Whitney said to me today.
- That you don't respect a man's privacy?
- No, silly, not even. She was all like...
- Oh, no. My gaming glasses!
- No running in the hallway!
- Huh? What are you talking about?
- Lana, is this maggot giving you lip?
- We're the new hall monitors at school,
so we're practicing at home.
- If we catch you speeding again,
you're going downtown!
We already locked up Luan for telling bad jokes.
- Hey, did you hear the one about the thief
who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Get it?
- That's five more minutes, dirt bag!
- Okay, okay, I'll walk within the speed limit, I swear.
- No swearing!
Someone stepped on my glasses. No!
Lori, you dirt bag!
One minute I'm electric-sliding with the undead, and the next--
It's all Lori's fault!
- I can't believe it.
- I know. She didn't even say sorry.
- No, I can't believe these were touched
by Lori's beautiful tootsies.
- Snap out of it, Clyde. Lori's a monster.
All she cares about is talking on her stupid phone.
Well, I'm going to give her a call she'll never forget.
- What are you gonna say?
"Why 'blank' is the worst sister ever?"
- I knew this would come in handy someday.
I just didn't know which sister would be getting it.
But you, Lori Loud, have made my decision very easy.
Agh, must be charging her phone.
No worries, I'll just leave it on her voicemail.
- Hey, this is Lori. You know what to do.
- Hey, Lori,
it's your dear brother, Lincoln.
There's something I've been meaning to tell you.
You are--
And that is why you are the worst sister ever!
What do you think, Clyde?
- Hey, bro. Just wanted to say
I'm so sorry I stepped on your stupid toy.
So I went out and bought you a stupid new one.
- You did what now?
- Also, I'm very impressed you didn't freak out over this.
Very mature.
- Yup, that's me, Mr. Mature.
Clyde, what I have done? I called Lori a--
When she's actually a--
What am I gonna do?
You're right! Lori clearly hasn't
listened to the voice-mail yet or I'd be a human pretzel.
We've gotta delete the message.
- Huh?
- Good talk.
♪
- Perfect. Lori doesn't have her cell,
which means it's still in there charging.
Our mission is to infiltrate her room
and delete the message before she gets back.
- But Lori's room is off limits.
- I know. That's why I need you to be a lookout for her.
- That's easy, I'm always on the lookout for Lori.
- Then let's do this.
♪
- In position. - Roger that.
- I know poop when I see it, and that's definitely some poop.
- Drat, the po-po.
I can't go through, so I'm gonna have to go over.
♪
- Hey, fur ball! No speeding!
Hey, what did we just say? Get back here!
- I'm in.
- Great. Proceed two clicks north,
hook a left, and you should be right over the target.
♪
- I've got eyes on the package.
♪
- Lincoln, Lori's coming.
- You're going to have to stall her.
- Roger that.
- Hey, beautiful, you take these stairs often?
- I will now, handsome.
- Hey, Lori, it's your dear brother Lincoln.
- Message deleted.
♪
- And that's how we're gonna do it.
- I love it, especially the part where I get to talk to Lori.
- Is that perfume?
- Yeah, it's my Nana's.
- Here are the blueprints for the vents.
- Are these food stains?
- I eat ketchup sandwiches while I floor-plan.
Quiet, Lori's coming.
Okay, let's do this.
♪
- I'm in position!
Roger that.
- No, I can't let you off with a warning.
- Huh!
♪
- Next time, remember, this is a mandatory diaper zone!
♪
Gah. Ketchup fingers.
- She's making a crawl for it!
- Ugh!
Clyde, I'm in.
- Hey, Lincoln. -
Lucy, what are you doing in here?
- I come here to think.
I actually just wrote a new poem called "Ventilate."
"Inside the wall, I choose to be alone.
If I ever get stuck, please listen for my moan."
- Right.
Clyde, get me to Lori's room, now.
- Go three clicks, then a right.
Or is it three rights, then a click?
Wait, what's a click?
- Never mind, I think I'm there.
Whoa! Aah!
- Hey, Lincoln. - Phew! Thanks, Luce.
- Lincoln, everything okay?
- Yeah, Clyde.
Everything's perfect.
I've got eyes on the package.
- Package? What about Lori's phone?
- Clyde, what kind of rope is this?
- Cherry licorice rope.
- Aah!
- Lincoln! Lori's coming!
Don't worry, I'll stall her.
♪
- What?
Ugh! Gross.
♪
Ugh!
- So this is where all my shoes are.
- Finally.
Ooh! New messages. I'm so loved.
- Mission is compromised! The package is on the move.
Clyde?
- - Clyde, do you read me?
- Hey, babe, it's Bobby.
Do you think we'll always be together?
- Aww! Totes saving that one.
- Hey, babe, it's Bobby again.
Should our couple name be Bori or Lobby?
- Saved.
- We warned you, dirt bag!
- It's the clink for Linc.
- Look! Luan's making a jailbreak.
- Hey!
- Oh, forget that bum.
He's out of our jurisdiction now.
- Yeah. Let's get donuts.
- Hey, Lori,
it's your dear brother, Lincoln.
Lori!
No-o-o!
Ugh!
There's something I've been meaning to tell you.
You are--
- Ugh. Delete.
Lincoln, there are two rules
stay out of my room, and never call my phone!
My voice-mail is full enough
without useless messages from you!
- Gee, Lori, I'm sorry.
- But I'm gonna let it slide this time
'cause you were so mature when I broke your stupid toy.
- Uh, right.
That's me, Mr. Mature.
- Bobby, only 12 messages today?
I thought you cared about me.
Next time I have a problem with one of my sisters,
I'll just talk to them instead of leaving a message
or writing a nasty letter.
Speaking of which, where is that letter?
- If you want our couple name to be Lobby,
you're gonna have to show a little--
What's this?
"Why Lori is the Worst Sister Ever."
Bobby, I gotta go.
I'm about to turn Lincoln into a human pretzel!
Lincoln! What is this?
- Well, it's time to do the official dance
The Running Man.
- When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna--
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud House - ♪ Loud House
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud House - ♪ Loud House
♪ Laundry pile stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is in the Loud House ♪