- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
♪
- Really?
Oh, real original!
That's real mature!
All right, that's it!
- So you really confronted that bully?
- That's right. I said to meet me at 3:30 in front of my house
and we're gonna settle this.
- Whoa! You're gonna fight?
- I'm not an animal, Clyde.
I'm going to deliver a strongly worded speech...
as soon as I write it.
- Looks like that bully left you a note of their own.
- Huh?
"Lame-O."
- Ooh, watermelon lime!
- Better not let my sisters see this,
'cause then they'll want to get involved
and make things worse, the way they always do.
- I don't know, maybe they'd be helpful.
Your sister Lori gives great advice.
She told me to never be myself.
I love that woman.
- Aw, Clyde.
Sweet, innocent Clyde.
He has no idea what it's like to have ten meddling sisters.
♪
Phew!
- Here comes the airplane!
Oopsie! - Ah!
It burns!
And that was just a paper cut.
- Well, then you better get that gum out.
You want to look intimidating for that bully.
- I was born intimidating.
Ew, ew, gross.
- You know, peanut butter will get that gum out.
- Should I use chunky or smooth?
- Well, if you use chunky, you're gonna
have to use smooth to get the chunks out.
- Good point. Thanks, pal.
♪
The National Weather Service reports clear skies
with only a 20% chance of meddling sisters.
But we advise keeping your umbrella handy.
Shh.
- Shh.
- Hold it right there!
He wore cargo shorts on your date?
That is literally the worst thing I have ever heard.
- Phew!
Peanut butter, peanut butter, where's the peanut butter?
- Hey, bro.
- Oh, hey, Luna, what's the haps?
- Rad way to chill out, bro.
- Right? Totally rad.
- Hey, hook me up with some pudding.
- Gross!
- Thanks. Stay cool.
- Peanut butter!
Ah, why do people put empty jars back in the fridge?
I need a plan B.
- Socks and sandals?
Cut it out.
- "Cut it out." That's it!
- Now that is literally the worst thing
I have ever heard.
♪
- Hey, Luan. - Hey, Lincoln.
What do you think of this joke?
If I were you, I'd go for the baboon.
- I don't get it. - Oh, well,
that's just the punch line.
I still got to think of the setup.
♪
- Lincoln, honey, I need you to take out the trash!
- Okay, Mom, five minutes!
- Not five minutes, now!
- I will, just give me three minutes.
- Lincoln, listen to your mother!
♪
- Hey, Lincoln, is my desk lamp in there?
I can't find it anywhere.
- Nope, have you tried looking on your desk?
- So smart.
What's up with that hat?
- Oh, this?
These are all the rage right now.
I'm surprised you didn't know.
- Hm.
- Phew!
- Greetings, human.
There's Liquidambar Styraciflua in your follicular area.
- A what in my who now?
- You've got gum in your hair.
- Oh, yes, I'm sure it's just--
- I assume that being of average intelligence,
you didn't place it there yourself.
Therefore I can only deduce that someone has been picking on you.
- Lisa, please, you can't tell.
I don't want everyone getting involved.
- Don't worry, I do not have enough room in my brain
for this kind of tomfoolery.
- Phew!
- You're being picked on.
- Lisa, I thought you weren't going to say anything.
- No, what I said was
I did not have room in my brain for your secret.
Hence, I removed it and transferred it to Lynn,
whose brain apparently has ample room.
- Thanks. Hey!
- So, you are being picked on.
- Of course not.
- Then what's that?
- That's just my gum.
Mm! Watermelon lime.
And hair.
Guys, guys, please stay out of this!
You'll only make it worse.
- If by worse you mean better, I agree.
- You should go straight to the school principal.
- Forget that. You should literally text
an embarrassing picture of him to all his friends.
- I'm gonna write an insult comedy routine
that'll leave him in tears.
- Basic stealth ninja kick.
That's how you're gonna take him down.
Well, folks, the National Weather Service
has just released a category one sisternado watch.
We advise boarding up your windows
and preparing your emergency supplies.
- That's the camel clutch, another good option for you.
- Well, look, I don't need any--
- We'll start with some basic dumb jokes.
Like, you're so dumb you locked yourself inside your car.
That kind of thing. - Oh, I know!
I'll invite him to a tea party
and make him use the chipped cup.
I'm so evil, sometimes I scare even me.
- What are you doing? - Surprise mime attack!
I invented that one myself.
- Lynn, I'm not going to fight. I--
- Ugh! Fine, I'll take care of this myself.
- You should do this.
His ears'll be ringing for days.
- Ugly jokes are always good too, like you're so ugly
you have to trick or treat over the phone.
- What?
- Look, I found him.
- How dare you bully our brother.
Only we get to do that.
- Smush your watermelon lime gum in his hair, Lincoln.
Fine, I'll do it. - Wait, stop!
This guy isn't my enemy.
Although thanks to you he probably will be now.
- - Oh, why are you still here?
- I can't believe I almost wasted
perfectly good gum on him.
- I'll go get another boy.
- No! Lynn, stop!
It's not even a boy!
- Is it a dog?
- It's a girl.
What?
- Normally I don't care for inane human emotions,
but...
- Lincoln, why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?
- She sounds so pretty. - What is happening?
- When a girl picks on you, that only ever means one thing,
she likes you.
- That's ridiculous.
She shoved a sandwich down my pants.
I was picking sesame seeds out of my butt for days.
- Aww! - So romantic.
- That's a classic.
- You guys are nuts. She hates me.
I'm gonna meet her today and give her a piece of my mind.
- You need to give her a piece of your heart instead.
- What? - I think he needs to kiss her.
- What? - Kiss her!
- This just in from the National weather Service,
the sisternado watch
has been upgraded to a sisternado warning.
Take cover immediately!
- Kiss her! Kiss her! -
- Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Mayday! Mayday! Clyde, do you copy?
- Roger, I mean this is Clyde, not Roger,
but yeah, roger, it's Clyde.
- My sisters have lost their minds.
They think the bully likes me.
They want me to kiss her!
- I don't know. Maybe they're right, Lincoln.
- My sisters are never right.
All they do is meddle.
- They're girls, Lincoln.
They know more about these things then we do.
It's a scientific fact.
- Yeah, but there's no way that--wow, me?
You really think she might like me?
How would I know?
- There's only one way to find out.
- Kiss her! Kiss her! - Hold it!
So am I going to kiss this girl or what?
- Again...
- It's 3:30.
Lola, lip balm.
Lana, breath mint.
Let's do this.
- Go get her, Romeo.
- You so got this, little bro.
- Aw, our little Lincoln.
- All grown up.
- All the bridesmaids
should wear these hats at Lincoln's wedding.
These are all the rage right now.
Aww!
Ooh!
- Sorry, buddy, our bad.
- Well, at least you gave it a shot.
- I'll get some ice for that shiner.
- X-ray machine, stat.
- I'm really sorry, Lincoln.
- Sorry, Lincoln. - Quiet!
Every time you guys butt into my life,
you make things worse.
Well, guess what. Never again!
No more meddling!
I knew it all along.
I should never have listened to them.
My sisters are always wrong. -
- Huh?
"Sorry, Lame-O. Here's my number.
Text me"?
"For your eye. XOXO, Ronnie Anne."
Okay, maybe just this one time my sisters were right.
But don't tell them that!
♪
- The Loud Family trophy case.
My sisters have done some pretty
impressive stuff to get in here.
There are Lynn's soccer trophies,
Lola's pageant crowns,
Lisa's Junior Nobel Prize.
Even Lily's won her thumb-sucking contests.
And then there's me.
I've tried everything to get into this case.
- And the winner of the Little Miss Cutie Pie Pageant is
Liiiiinnnn...dsey Sweetwater!
- But now I finally have my chance.
The fifth grade video contest.
Whoever's video gets the most votes
wins this beauty.
- You really think you're going to win, Lincoln?
- With what I have planned, I'm a shoe-in.
- You said the same thing about the Cutie Pie pageant.
- I was robbed!
Grab your camera.
Are we rolling?
Hey, fifth grade, Lincoln Loud here.
Ever wonder what happens when 672 breath mints
meet 88 gallons of diet soda?
Well, you're about to find out!
♪
- That was amazing!
You're right, everyone's gonna vote for this.
- Why isn't anybody voting for this?
- Maybe 'cause they're all voting
for this HamstaCam video.
- 50 votes?
Pshh! What's so great about some dumb hamster?
Not you, Geo. You're awesome.
- Hey, we got a vote!
No, wait, it's a comment.
- "Nice try, but you should go
"to your big sister's site for some tips.
Her videos are sick." - Sick?
Oh, no! Do you think they have a virus?
- It means awesome, Clyde.
Click the link.
Luan Out Loud's Comedy Channel.
Cute, but how many people want to watch Luan--
50,000 followers?
Clyde, do you know what this means?
- People waste a lot of time on the Internet?
- No, it means Luan can help us win the video contest.
Come on! - Uh-huh.
- Pretty sick, right?
- That means awesome.
- Yeah, not in this case. - What?
- Sorry, Linc, stunts are so last year.
If you want to win the contest, you have to make funny videos.
- Well, how do I make those?
- Easy, you just follow my one simple rule.
Keep your camera on at all times
because you never know when you'll strike comedy gold.
Ooh, like this.
- Ah, come on!
Erase that.
- Don't worry, Clyde,
I would never post it without your permission.
Besides, I said comedy gold, not digging for gold.
- We've had the camera on all day.
Where exactly is this comedy gold?
Clyde, are you listening to me?
- Sorry, Lincoln, I was just worried that Lynn
was going to accidentally step on that rake,
resulting in a series of escalating mishaps.
- That's great, Clyde, but-- series of escalating mishaps?
- 56, 57, 58, 59--
ouch!
- That was hilarious!
- Let's go upload it.
This is gonna get a ton of votes.
- I don't know, Clyde, enough votes to beat HamstaCam?
- HamstaCam!
- If we struck comedy gold with one sister,
with ten we'll have comedy Fort Knox!
- Just like me idol, Mick Swagger.
All right!
Oh!
Ooh, drafty.
- Oh, Edwin,
I know you're forbidden to love a mortal like me,
but I can't resist your piercing gaze,
your sparkly skin, your icy lips.
Mmm!
- Hm, maybe something like this is a little too personal.
- HamstaCam just got ten more votes.
- HamstaCam!
Eh, it's not that personal. Keep rolling.
♪
- Oh!
♪
- Ahh, Lori's toots.
It's like music to my ears.
- Now this is gonna beat HamstaCam.
Let's go upload it.
♪
- Lincoln, your video rocks. You've got my vote.
- Man, Lucy and that sculpture?
What a weirdo!
- And how about Lori?
- You mean Miss Toots-a-lot?
She should see a doctor about that.
- So embarrassing.
- Embarrassing?
- Yeah, my sisters
would pulverize me if I posted a video like that.
- Pulverize?
- You can't get pulverized, Lincoln.
I'd never be able to find another best friend.
- You won't have to.
After I win the trophy on Friday,
I'll just delete the video.
- Just in case. We had a good run, buddy.
- Don't worry, Clyde. My sisters will never know.
- They know.
- Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain.
- You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you.
- There was this video contest at school
and I really wanted to win.
- You showed my sleep face for some stupid contest?
- I just wanted to have a trophy
to put in the case like you guys.
- You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?
- No, I don't deserve it.
Look, I'll delete the video!
- Too late, Lincoln, the damage has already been done.
- You made me look like a fool!
- You made me look like a freak.
- You made me look like I fart!
And for the record, it was these shoes!
See?
Of course it's not working now.
- Lori, I'm sorry!
Wait!
Luna, let me explain. -
Can't hear you, bro!
- Leni, Lori, I'm sorry!
- You literally disgust me.
- Yeah! Ugh!
- Lola, Lana, please!
- You're uninvited to my birthday party, forever!
- I want to slam it, too!
- Lisa! Lisa?
"Vengeance shall be mine."
Guys, come on, I'm your brother.
- I have no brother.
I know I say that a lot,
but this time I mean it.
- Luan, you got to help me.
I was only doing what you said.
- You broke the unspoken rule.
Never post a video without the person's permission.
- Why didn't you tell me that?
- Because it's unspoken.
- How am I going to fix this?
Well, good-bye, trophy.
- Deleted.
- Well, HamstaCam, looks like you win.
I guess it's hard for anyone
to have the camera on you all the time.
Camera on you all the time! That's it!
Luan, you said your one simple rule
is to always have your camera on, right?
- That is correct, Captain Obvious.
- Then I'm gonna need to borrow all your footage of me.
- You mean Comedy Fort Knox?
- Hey, fifth grade, Lincoln Loud here.
Ever wonder what happens when one brother
messes up and embarrasses all ten of his sisters?
I didn't think you would.
But this is how you fix it.
Oh, and for legal reasons, all videos were provided
by Luan Out Loud LLC, all rights reserved, patent pending.
Let 'er rip.
Well, Cristina, I can't say I'm surprised you asked me out.
I've seen the way you look at me in the lunch line.
♪
- Bentley, will you accept this rose?
Oh, this manly thing?
Yes, it is a chest hair.
The first of many, I'm sure.
♪
♪ Grooming the chest hair, I'm grooming the chest hair ♪
♪ I'm grooming the-- Aah!
Come on, Cristina,
I've thought about it.
You've thought about it.
Why are we fighting this?
♪
- Oh, Lincoln.
- And just to be clear,
we're laughing at you, not with you.
- I thought your sisters' video was embarrassing,
but this takes the cake.
And still to lose out to a hamster?
Ouch!
♪
I sure hope that worked.
It didn't work. - Lincoln...
- I know I embarrassed you and I can't undo that,
and I'm sorry, but the least I could do
was embarrass myself right along with you.
That way we'd all be even.
- Even? You think this makes us even?
- Well, I was trying to--
- Yours was way worse.
- Yeah, that video was hysterical.
- So we're good? - We're good, brother.
- Sorry you didn't win the trophy.
- But we really appreciate
what you did and thought you deserved something.
- Wow!
Thanks, guys.
♪
"Most Improved Brother." I did it.
My sisters no longer despise me, Cristina is switching classes,
and I finally made the case.
- It was my shoe!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house