- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
♪
- Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family?
Well, so does my teacher.
Our class assignment is to do a report on our families.
With ten sisters, I can sum up mine in one word.
Chaos.
It took 3 weeks, 4 boxes of pasta,
2 tubes of glue, and 27 popsicle sticks,
but the centerpiece of my project is finally finished.
Pretty accurate representation of the Loud family, I'd say,
but making this thing was the easy part.
The real challenge is getting it to school on time
and in one piece to give my report.
Sounds easy, right?
Not in my house.
If you want to get all ten of your sisters
out the door on time,
you have to get up pretty early, and you have to have a plan.
The ten-headed beast has awoken.
Wish me luck.
Ah!
Not today, Luan.
- Oh, we'll see about that. "Pailure" is not an option.
Get it?
- I'll just take this to the car later, but first, Luna.
A little "Man with the Plan" music?
- You got it, man.
- It's my dollar!
- No, it's mine! - Let go!
- No, you let go. - Right on cue.
- You let go! - Stop it!
Hey!
- Half for Lola. Half for Lana.
Thanks, Lincoln.
- Good morning, Lincoln. - Ah! Good morning, Lucy.
- For my new poem, I need a word that rhymes with choose.
- Uh, how about lose? - That works.
- Time to get dressed, Lily.
- Hey, Lincoln! Think fast!
Nice catch, Lincoln.
- Nice throw, Lynn.
- O-M-G, Bobby, I literally had to call you right away.
I am just so excited about the homecoming dance.
I know, right? You're so sweet.
- I'll get the drop on you yet.
Get it? - What do you want?
- Lori, could you maybe hang up the phone
and get ready for school?
- Cool it, twerp.
I'm quite capable of doing two things at once.
- - Leni?
- Note to self.
Never walk and chew gum at the same time.
- Time's running out.
- Lincoln, think fast!
♪
- Okay, let's get you downstairs.
- Scatter, she's gonna blow! - Or not.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Phew!
Lisa, you're always forgetting the dinitrotoluene.
- Silly me. Much appreciated.
I'm still alive!
- Ayeee! Lucha libre!
Todo bien.
- Lily, pants.
- I was here first! - No, I was!
- Nuh-uh! I was! - No way! I was!
- You always say that! - You do!
Hey, no cutting!
Thanks, Lincoln.
- Has anyone seen my zit cream?
- I literally found the cutest dress to wear.
- A word that rhymes with stuck. - Luck.
- How do you stop a rhino from charging?
- You take away his credit card. -
- Mom said no solving for X on the walls.
Same. Blame. Game. Fame.
- Where the heck are my roller skates?
I've got field hockey today.
- Wait. There's no roller skates in field hockey.
- The way I play, there is.
- Gotcha.
Phase one of Operation Get Ready for School
and Into the Car on Time is complete.
Now comes phase two, breakfast.
- Thank you!
- Cooking is usually Dad's territory,
but I gave him the day off
'cause I have to kick things into high gear.
Egg whites for Leni.
Sunny side up for Luna.
Funny side up for Luan.
- Great yolk.
- Scrambled for Lynn. Fried for Lisa.
Deviled eggs for the twins, and...
- Oh, and I picked out the perfect tux for you to wear,
Bobby. - Hard-boiled for Lori.
Extra goo-goo-gooey for Lily.
- Goo goo goo.
- And for Lucy, extra well-done.
- If I had a heart, it would be swelling right now.
- All righty, then. We are dressed and fed,
and now we have our backpacks and lunches
prepared to dietary needs.
We're just waiting on Lori.
- No, not puke, Bobby. Puce.
It's like a reddish brownish. -
Everyone, wait here while I grab my project.
Time for phase three, getting you out the door in one piece.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!
Phew! Okay then, we're all ready to go?
Time for phase four, out the door.
Like I said, if you want to get all your sisters
out the door on time,
you have to have a plan. - Fine.
If you don't want to wear the tux,
then I don't want to go to the dance!
In fact, I don't even want to go to school!
- So close. Wait!
No, no, no.
Everyone, stay right where you are.
Lori, wait.
You're the only one who can drive us.
- Get Mom to drive you!
- But she's already left.
- Ah! I'm blue!
My skin's turned blue!
- Technically it's a sallow shade of cerulean,
but why split hairs?
- Lisa, what did you do?
- I secretly switched Leni's blemish cream
for an experimental skin pigmentation ointment
I've been working on.
- Why would you do that?
- Because she wouldn't let me try it on her if I had asked.
- You go upstairs right now and get something to fix it.
- Fine. Hairless apes one, science zero.
- Can't something go my way for once?
- You can't always get what you want, bro.
- Lincoln, I've finished my poem.
It's called "Failure."
- Lucy, I really don't have time for--
- Failure.
It is not an option,
yet it's something you choose.
The man with the plan is destined to lose.
- Lily, where are your clothes?
And where is your diaper?
- Go poo-poo.
- I found the diaper.
- Failure.
You know there is no one else to blame,
for the choices you make are always the same.
- Come on, Lori. Please?
I have my report this morning.
- Go away!
- The peanut butter sandwich is mine!
- No, the jelly sandwich is yours!
- No! - Ugh!
- You like the peanut butter and I like the jelly!
- You like peanut butter and I like jelly!
- No, I like jelly and you--
Hey!
♪
- Now you each have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Now, get to the car.
Thanks, Lincoln.
- Here's the antidote.
- Thank you.
Wait a second.
The real antidote?
- Fine. Hairless apes two, science zero.
- Here. -
- Failure.
It's all your fault, this streak of bad luck.
No escape from this cycle in which you are stuck.
- Stop!
I've got a poem for you now.
It's called "Lucy."
Dark as night, hair like tar.
Take your spooky self to the car.
- Sigh.
Once again, your poetic brilliance has put me to shame.
- Think fast! - Oh! Ow.
- Where is my field hockey stick?
I have roller derby today.
- There's no field hockey sticks in roller derby.
- The way I play, there is!
Oh!
- Finally.
I look perfect and beautiful again.
- Oh, come on.
I thought we were pails.
Get it? Get it?
- How am I gonna deal with Lori?
Got it.
- Hello? - Hey, babe.
It's your boyfriend, Bobby.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry
and that I will wear any tux you want.
- Oh, Bobby!
♪
Would you hurry up, Lincoln?
It's always such a hassle
getting you out of the door in the morning.
♪
- What's all this?
- It's my gear, dude.
I have rehearsal.
- And who is that?
- This is my roadie, Chunk.
- No, no, no.
He was not part of the plan.
You, out.
I'll take care of this. - Thanks, bro.
Operation complete, and with ten minutes to spare.
A Loud house first, I might add.
Let's roll.
Stop!
♪
Phew! That was close.
Aah!
No!
All of this work for nothing.
How could I be so stupid?
How? How? How?
- If you're done with your pity party, maybe we could help?
- Yeah. 11 heads are better than 1.
- Try not to lose yours.
- Yeah, every little thing is gonna be all right.
- Really? You'll help?
It's what families do.
- But I'm supposed to give this report in ten minutes
and this thing is destroyed.
What can you guys do?
In conclusion, in my family, every day is a challenge,
but you can be sure that when I need them,
my sisters will always be there for me.
All of them.
And sure, life in the Loud house can be summed up in one word.
Chaos.
But I love that chaos,
and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
- That was a fantastic report, Lincoln.
I'm giving you an A.
Ah! -
- Make that an A-minus.
- Pailed it!
♪
- And finally, the motion to ration shampoo
due to chronic shortages passed...
by a hair!
- So the minutes from our last meeting are approved.
Any new business?
Anyone? Anyone?
No one? - Lori!
- I'm just messing with you.
Lincoln has the floor.
- As you all know, our annual trip
to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds is quickly approaching.
- That place is the worst.
Bears always steal our food.
- And we have to sleep on the hard ground.
- And poop in the woods.
- I like pooping in the woods.
- And the Dipterum Culicidae are the size of Mustelas Nivalis.
The mosquitoes are the size of weasels.
- And don't forget the scary hill people hiding in the trees.
- There's no such thing as hill people, Lincoln.
- My point is,
why can't we go someplace different like Aloha Beach
or Dairyland Amusement Park?
- Because Mom and Dad will never go for it.
- How do we know? We've never asked.
- Fine.
All in favor of Lincoln wasting his time and asking Mom and Dad?
Motion passes.
- Fine with us, sweetie. - Sure, son.
I don't see why not.
- So which is it?
Aloha Beach or Dairyland?
- Oh, they didn't say.
I guess it's up to us to decide.
All in favor of Aloha Beach?
One, two, three, four, five.
- You want to go to the beach, Lucy?
- Two words.
Shark attacks.
- All in favor of Dairyland?
One, two, three, four, five.
- It's five against five. We win!
- It's a tie, Leni.
- Wait a minute.
Lincoln didn't vote.
- Well, Lincoln, what's it gonna be?
- It's so hard to choose.
I really like the beach...
But I love Dairyland.
I don't know. I can't decide.
I need more time.
Can I have till the end of the day?
- Really? - Fine.
You have until the end of the day to decide.
Now I've done it.
If I choose Aloha Beach, five of my sisters
are gonna be mad at me,
and if I choose Dairyland, the other five will be mad.
Making a decision is gonna be rough.
- Hey, Linky.
I brought you something.
A short stack from your favorite short stack.
You should never make a big decision on an empty stomach.
- Wow. Thanks, Lola.
- Hey, little bro.
I was just thinking, with all the pressure
you're under to decide,
maybe a massage would help you relax.
Hiya!
- Uh, this is awkward.
Down a little.
I carry most of my stress in my lower back.
Ahh.
- Shower time. - Huh?
- Take a nice long one.
I cleared the bathroom schedule. - Wait.
You guys aren't trying to get my vote
for Aloha Beach, are you?
No. - No, no, no.
- Wait, I thought we were.
- Cleaning my room?
You guys aren't trying to get my vote
for Dairyland, are you?
- What? No. - No, no.
- Now that's funny. - Of course we are.
- I amend my earlier statement.
Deciding on where to go for our vacation
might not be so rough after all.
Aloha, Lincoln.
- What's that? - It's your homework.
All done.
- Uh, you did it?
- I did. - Phew!
I mean, not that it matters.
- Hiya, Lincoln!
- Tippy the cow!
- Well, that's right!
And guess what I have for my favorite fan!
- You did my laundry? Wow.
Thanks, Tippy.
- You're welcome.
I'll see you soon
at America's favorite dairy-themed a-moo-sement park!
- Bye, Tippy!
I love that cow.
- Welcome to your own private beach
where we have sun, sand, and surf.
- Don't forget screams.
- And if you vote Team Beach,
the fun will literally never stop.
- Yeah. If you need anything else, just give us a toot.
♪
- What's happening?
- All aboard the I-Screamer!
- Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times.
- Woo-hoo!
Faster, faster!
- Hope you enjoyed the ride, bro.
- If you vote for Dairyland,
you'll have 2% more fun.
- If you require our services...
Just call on Team Tippy.
♪
- All right, Lincoln.
Your time's up.
What's it gonna be?
- I know I said I'd decide by the end of the day,
but I'm still torn.
Can I have just one more day?
- Why, you lousy little--
- Uh, not a problem.
We understand.
- All right. - For sure, Lincoln.
- Can you blame me?
No matter what I decide,
five of them are still gonna be mad at me,
but this day has been amazing.
So I figure why not take advantage of it a little longer?
- Ugh! What are we going to do, you guys?
We need to try harder to show him why the beach is better.
- Or maybe we show him why Dairyland is worse.
- Got to pee, got to pee, got to pee!
Note to self. No more cocoa before bed.
What's going on?
- Waiting in line for the bathroom.
Better get used to standing in lines
if you're gonna vote for Dairyland.
Ah! Ooh! Ah!
Aah!
What?
"Sorry! This ride is temporarily closed"?
No!
- Oh, so that's how they want to play?
Ahh, sweet relief!
Ah! Freezing!
What happened to all the hot water?
- You better get used to it if you vote for the beach.
- Because the average ocean temperature
is 16.6 degrees Celsius.
- Uh, guys, FYI,
sand in my crack does not make me want to vote for the beach.
Guys! Guys, too fast!
Too fast, guys! Guys, too fast!
I'm gonna hurl!
Word of advice.
Blowing chunks does not make me want to vote for Dairyland.
"Everything you'll need for fun in the sun.
Enjoy. Team Beach."
SPF 800 sunscreen.
Perfect for my fair skin.
Hm, tingly.
Aah! News flash!
Giving me a sunburn is not the way to win my vote.
- Huh? Sodium hydrochlorite?
"Avoid contact with skin"?
This has Lisa written all over it.
- So that's how you spell Lisa?
Tippy! Ah!
Mad cow! Mad cow!
- Well?
- Worked like a charm.
Aloha Beach is in our future.
- We knew it!
You've been sabotaging us.
- We sabotaged you?
You put sand in Lincoln's underpants.
- But you started it with the line for the bathroom.
Can I get an ice pack?
Some bandages?
A hug?
Where is everybody?
I'm blowing the conch,
I'm ringing the bell, and yet, nothing.
- You!
This is all your fault. - Yeah.
If you had just made up your mind,
none of this would have happened.
- Great. I was afraid of making
five of my sisters mad at me,
but now all ten are.
There's only one thing left to do.
- Fine with us, sweetie. - Sure, son.
I don't see why not.
- Quiet down!
I've made my decision.
We're going to Scratchy Bottom Campgrounds!
What? - But what about the bears?
- And the Dipterum Culicidae bites?
- And the pooping in the woods?
- That's still the only reason I'd go.
- Ugh, this is literally going to be the worst vacation ever.
This is literally the best vacation ever.
- Why were we so against this place?
♪
-
- Ah!
Ooh!
-
♪
- It may not be much of a vacation for me,
but it's worth it if all ten of my sisters are happy.
I'd say everything turned out A-okay.
The hill people hiding in the trees!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house