- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rock music]
♪
[zipper zips]
[objects thudding]
- Ah, road trips.
That beloved tradition of families everywhere.
Tomorrow, the Loud family is going on a road trip of our own.
Sounds fun, right?
Not with 13 of us packed into the family wagon,
or as we affectionately call it, "Vanzilla."
[roaring]
Every seat in Vanzilla
offers one kind of torture or another.
[intense music]
Getting stuck next to Lily's car seat is no good.
Ah, Lily!
[baby laughing]
The back row is so far from Mom and Dad
that it turns into the wild, wild West.
[Western music]
- Stop looking at me.
- You stop looking at me.
[all grunting]
- Come on, we haven't even left the driveway yet!
And this seat has the exact opposite problem.
It's right in Dad's sight line.
- Feet off the seat!
- Plus, it's next to the one working speaker.
- Ooh, honey, it's our prom theme.
[purrs]
[soft rock music]
- Ugh.
And the rest of the seats only get worse.
There's the sticky,
the soggy,
the springy,
and the slanty.
By my calculations, that leaves just one seat safe from it all.
I call it the "Sweet Spot."
And tomorrow, it will be mine
'cause I'm gonna stake it out tonight.
[light switch clicks]
There's my cue.
Everyone's asleep.
It's go time.
[click]
[cat screeches]
[cat purrs]
Come in, Nosebleeder.
This is Roadtripper.
- Sorry, Roadtripper.
I have to keep the line clear for my friend Lincoln.
- This is Lincoln.
- Oh, hi, Lincoln!
- Operation: Sweet Spot is a success.
I've secured the seat.
- Great job.
So who did you get to sit next to you?
- Who did I get to sit next to me?
[indistinct yelling]
I'm sorry you had to see that.
Having the wrong sister next to me
could totally wreck the Sweet Spot.
Okay, it definitely can't be Luan.
- Airbag deployed! [laughs]
- And it can't be Lola. - Hold still!
- I can't. I'm on the spring seat.
And it can't be Lynn.
- Let's play Auto Attack.
- How do you play that?
- I punch you every time I see a car.
[truck honking] Ooh, good timing.
[punching and grunting]
- I got it! Leni!
The motion of the car always puts her in a daze,
and she'll leave me alone.
- [groans] Oh, scrunchies!
Oh, leg warmers!
- Leni, Leni. Leni! Oh, good.
You're awake. Listen.
Will you sit next to me in the car tomorrow?
- Sure.
I mean, it's the least I could do.
You did just save me from a bad fashion nightmare.
[snores]
- Yes!
- Socks with sandals!
- Roadtripper to Nosebleeder.
- Sorry, Roadtripper.
I have to keep this line-- - It's Lincoln!
Operation: Seat Next to the Sweet Spot is a success.
- Excellent!
So who's sitting behind you?
- Who's sitting behind me?
[indistinct yelling]
Ah, so many ways to ruin the Sweet Spot!
All right. Who can I have behind me?
Definitely not Lana.
Can you please stop?
[coughs]
Definitely not Lori.
She spends the whole ride
texting with Bobby, which means--
- [gags] Carsick!
[vomits]
[camera clicks]
I totally have to text that to Bobby.
What did I eat?
- I've got it! Lisa!
True, she won't shut up about all the dangers
of car travel...
- The tires could blow.
A low-flying plane could shear the roof off.
The brakes could fail, and we could plunge off a cliff.
- But the beauty of the Sweet Spot
is it has one working window.
The wind of the road will drown her out.
So you'll sit behind me tomorrow?
- Sure. It's safer there anyway,
in case the engine comes loose and flies into the car,
crushing everyone up front.
- That window better work.
- Hey, Lincoln? - Ah! What Sweet Spot?
I mean hey!
- I have one addendum
to our legally binding verbal agreement.
I'll sit behind you only if Luna's not next to me.
Her singing gives me an extreme case of tinnitus.
- [shrieking]
- Where is a low-flying plane when you need one?
- No problem, I think I can
move some things around to accommodate you.
- Sure, I'll sit up front, dude,
as long as Lori isn't near me.
I don't need to get ralphed on by the Princess of Puke.
[rock music]
♪
- And Leni goes here, and we're done!
Roadtripper to Nosebleeder.
Operation: Fill All the Seats around the Sweet Spot
is complete!
- That's awesome, but what about the--
- Sorry, Nosebleeder,
but your questions are compromising the mission.
[yawns] Now, to get a little shut-eye.
[banging]
Hey, guys.
What's up?
- What are you up to, Lincoln?
- Me? I'm not up to anything.
Just, you know, catching some Zs in the car like guys do.
- Oh, yeah? Then, what's this?
- You went in my room?
- That's not the hot issue right now.
- What's the Sweet Spot? And why are you in it?
- Oh, it's, uh--
it's the worst seat in the whole car.
I put myself in it, so none of you would have to suffer.
- Then, why is it called the "Sweet Spot"?
- Because I'm being sweet?
- According to my calculations,
the Sweet Spot is actually the best seat in the car
for various reasons including air circulation,
proximity to parental units,
and the lack of chewable adhesive on the cushion.
- It took me eight months to figure that out.
- Shocker.
- Well, if that's the best seat, then I should get it.
I'm the oldest.
- You'd just barf all over it, dude.
I should have it!
- Beauty before age!
- Yeah, so I should get it!
- That seat belongs to me!
- No, I want it!
- You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat,
and possession is 9/10 of the law.
- You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute.
- Get him!
[indistinct chatter]
- [laughing]
[door creaks open]
Dang it. I forgot about the broken lock.
- Ha!
- Let go of me!
[overlapping shouting]
[dogs barking]
[horn honks]
- That is enough!
Everyone, back to their rooms this minute.
I don't want to see anyone in that car until 7:00 a.m.!
- Good luck getting the Sweet Spot now.
[laughter]
- [groans]
[yells]
This is bad. I can't lose that seat!
- Don't even think about it, Lincoln.
I'm watching you.
- Well, I'm watching you.
- And I'm watching you!
- Ugh! Okay.
I just have to be the first one out the door tomorrow.
[alarm beeping] Oh!
Only 30 minutes till Operation: Save the Sweet Spot--
[yawns]
Come on, man! Stay with me!
[dance music]
[grunting]
♪
[alarm beeping]
[all yelling]
- My seat! - I want that--
[overlapping shouting]
- Enough!
[sobbing] That was my first car
and my dad's first car and his dad's first car!
- All right, everyone, back inside!
The road trip is off!
You're going to spend this weekend sitting together
in the living room until you learn to get along!
all: Aww!
- I'm sorry you had to see that.
Well, Operation: Sweet Spot went sour.
I guess I should've known that in a family this big,
you just can't control every little thing.
That said, there's a sweet spot in the living room too.
It's at the end of the couch,
close to the bathroom with a great view of the TV,
and it's going to be mine!
Nosebleeder, this is Couch Potato.
Operation: Snag the Sofa is a go!
[yelling]
[rock music]
♪
- Would you cut it out?
Come on, man! Stop!
I said cut it out! [laughter]
- Hey! - What?
- In most families, the kiddie table
is something you only see at holidays,
but in a family as big as mine, it's part of everyday life.
- Hey, Lincoln, you like seafood?
See? Food.
Bleh.
- Hey, Lucy!
I want to suck your blood!
- For gosh sakes, you guys, cut it out!
Ugh! It's not right.
My five older sisters get to sit at the grown-up table
with Mom and Dad,
while I'm stuck here with my five younger sisters.
- How can you eat that broccoli
when you know how much it suffered to get here?
- Uh, Lucy, broccoli doesn't feel pain.
- Oh, no?
Listen to the broccoli screaming, Lincoln.
Listen to it. - Ah!
Can I just eat my dinner in peace?
- Did you say "peas"?
- [laughs] - Oh, you want to play?
Let's play.
My calibration seems to have been off by about 16 degrees.
[grunts]
- Mine wasn't.
[indistinct chatter]
- You are not gonna look pretty at all!
- So I said to the Prime Minister,
"Two breads are better than one!"
[laughter]
- Your comedy is so mature, just like you.
- To Lincoln!
He puts the "grown-up" in "grown-up table."
all: To Lincoln.
- Muah. Muah.
That's it!
I don't belong here.
I'm gonna go ask to join the grown-up table.
- Ha! - Good luck.
- You really think they're gonna let you?
all: Ooh.
[laughter]
- You'll see.
I'm gonna make it to the grown-up table
and leave all you children behind.
- Well, Lincoln, you've come to the right place.
As an only child,
I've been at the grown-up table my whole life.
- So you think you can help me?
- Did Napoleon have a Napoleon complex?
That's a grown-up table joke.
You don't get it now, but you will soon.
Now, don't worry.
I have a surefire program
that'll get your family to stop seeing you as a kid.
- And start seeing me as a grown-up.
Careful, you're giving Bun Bun an ouchie.
- Good morning, everybody!
Ah, nothing like that first cup of morning joe.
[sniffs]
Ah, mountain grown.
Hey, guys.
There's a really interesting article in here
about how kids are maturing faster these days.
They say 11 is the new 15.
Ooh, the House is debating the new highways bill.
This should be fascinating.
- Are you feeling okay?
- Me? Never felt better.
Though the back's a little stiff.
Getting older ain't easy. Am I right, ladies?
- I was using it first!
- Nuh-uh! I was. - Give it to me!
- You clearly took it away from me!
- Lola, Lana, what's going on?
- Don't worry, Dad. I got this.
Now, children, if you can't share the jump rope,
then neither of you gets to use it.
Ha, kids.
They just don't get it, huh, Dad?
Ugh.
Ah, nothing like a nice, smooth face to start the day.
Yup.
Maybe I shouldn't have used the razor Mom shaves her legs with.
- Never mind that. Our plan is working.
You're showing your family that you belong
at the grown-up table.
Now comes phase two, how to act once you get there.
This is the grown-up table simulator.
Now, show me your salad fork.
- Uh...this one?
[horn blares]
- Wrong. That's your dinner fork.
Now, have some bread.
[horn blares]
Wrong. You just ate Lori's bread.
Don't worry, beautiful, I'll share my buns with you.
[horn blares]
- Clyde.
- Sorry. Where were we?
- So, Lynn, how about those Republicans?
[horn blares]
- Wrong. Never talk politics. Again.
- Um, we could really use some rain.
[bell dings]
Soup spoon.
Salad fork. Butter knife.
Dessert plate.
A candid picture of Lori?
- Oh, how'd that get in there?
You're making great strides, Lincoln.
You feel it? Keep it up!
You got heart, kid.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm all grown up.
- Not yet. You have one last step.
[upbeat music]
♪
I think my work here is done.
Ready for the grown-up table, big guy?
- Did Napoleon have a Napoleon complex?
[laughter]
I still don't get it.
- Me neither.
[jazz music]
- Good evening.
I have something I'd like to say!
[clears throat]
There comes a time in every kid's life
when he's ready to put away childish things
and make that big leap into the adult world.
- Get to the point, Lincoln.
- Okay. [sighs]
I don't think I should sit at the kiddie table anymore.
I want to sit at the grown-up table with you.
- Well, I think he's ready.
- So do I.
- Yes! Whoo-hoo!
- Is that my suit?
- [gulps] Liver?
I thought we were having chicken nuggets.
- That's just for the younger kids, honey.
At the grown-up table, we eat grown-up food.
- And thank goodness for that!
Liver fork!
- So, Lynn, how did you do on your math test today?
- Good, Mom. I think I really nailed those integers.
- So, Lori, I heard Bobby's dad had a hernia operation.
How'd that go? - Um, okay, I guess.
- Hey, I heard a funny joke today.
- We don't tell jokes at the grown-up table.
- Or sing, brah.
all: ♪ Beans, beans, the musical fruit ♪
♪ The more you eat, the more you-- ♪
[armpit squeaks]
[laughter]
- Something funny, Lincoln?
- Not at this table.
- So it turns out we didn't need
the service call in the first place.
The darn copier was just unplugged.
- [laughs] How about that?
Okay. You're all excused.
- Uh, Mother, I believe you forgot something. Dessert?
- Oh, that's just for the younger kids.
- Ugh, seriously?
I mean, uh, seriously,
who needs the extra calories?
- That's right, son!
Say, how's it feel sitting at the old grown-up table, huh?
- It's everything I dreamed it would be.
Clyde, the grown-up table is a nightmare!
I didn't realize how good I had it at the kiddie table.
I got to get back.
- Negative, Lincoln.
You can't ask to leave now.
Next time you ask your family for something,
they won't take you seriously.
Is that what you want?
- No, but-- - Now I got to run.
My parents and I are doing our taxes.
- I got to do something.
Look, you guys.
I've thought about it, and I really don't belong here.
I think I should go back to the kiddie table.
- You can't go back.
You can never go back, bro.
- [gasps]
- You're one of us now.
A grown-up.
- Better start working on those taxes, Lincoln.
- [screaming]
- Where do you think you're going?
[turkeys gobbling] - Ah, please!
I have to get back to the kiddie table.
I'm not a grown-up yet!
I'm still a kid!
all:
One of us. - No!
[gasps] It's all my fault.
I worked so hard to prove I'm a grown-up.
Hmm, maybe it's time to act my age.
Lincoln Loud in the house!
[hip-hop music]
Where my grown-ups at?
[humming]
Are you ready to chow?
I want to suck your blood.
- Lincoln, please don't do that.
- Yo, that's mine!
- Was it?
Hey, Leni, you like seafood?
See? Food.
Blah.
- Lincoln, gross!
- Hey, how about those Republicans?
- Ugh, Lincoln, say it. Don't spray it.
- I didn't hear the magic word, peas!
- Oh, it is on.
I mean, grow up, Lincoln.
- Good grub, Dad.
It reminds me of a song.
♪ Beans, beans, the musical fruit ♪
♪ The more you eat, the more you-- ♪
[farts] Everybody, now! [farting]
- Lincoln Loud, that is enough!
- I thought you were ready for the grown-up table,
but clearly, you are not.
- You're a tough lady, Mom, but fair.
Laters!
Hey, guys. I'm back.
Ah, it's good to be home.
What did I miss?
Let's ketchup!
[laughs]
[laughter]
- Hey, can I join you guys?
- Sure. The more, the merrier.
- Oh, I never knew it was possible
to make it out of the grown-up table.
- Psst. Can we join too?
- Wow, chicken nuggets.
I haven't seen these in years!
[laughter]
- There really is no rush to get to the grown-up table.
It's gonna happen eventually, so in the meantime,
might as well enjoy being a kid.
- Finally, a little peace and quiet.
- Did you say "peas"? - Oh!
[laughter]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house