- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
- The key to the perfect anniversary present for
your parents is simple, know your audience.
And since my folks love what I bring to the table,
I make them the same thing
this awesome coffee mug!
- Coffee mug?
I thought it was a paperweight.
- Paperweight? That thing is definitely a pencil holder.
- Negatory.
Clearly it's a bust of German philosopher Immanuel Kant.
- I "“Kant"” even tell what it is.
- Clearly no one can figure out what that thing is.
No wonder Mom and Dad just
throw all your old gifts in the attic.
- What?
Lola must've been messing around with me.
Mom and Dad love my paperweights.
I mean, coffee mugs!
What's this?
Do not open. Okay.
It's true.
Mom and Dad do hate my gifts!
- If you turn your head to the side and squint,
it almost looks like Aunt Shirley.
- Or an inflamed liver.
- When he's this pathetic,
it takes all the joy out of making fun of him.
- I can hear you!
We know!
- Mom and Dad's anniversary is tomorrow.
What am I gonna do?
- Oh, I think an idea's developing.
Aah!
I've figured out the perfect present for Mom and Dad!
Ta-da!
- You're giving them Dad's old camera?
- Wow, you are cheap.
- No, not the camera! A photograph of all of us!
- Why use that old thing when you can just use a cell phone?
- Because that would be like
painting the "Mona Lisa" with a crayon.
- Wow, this may be the year you don't fail miserably
and crush Mom and Dad's souls.
- Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Everyone to the backyard!
Okay, that's it.
Leni, scooch to the left.
- Your other left. -
- Perfect. Someone grab Lily.
Thank you. Good.
Just gotta set the timer and...
everybody say cheese!
Chee...
- When is it gonna flash? My jaw is cramping up!
eeeeee...
- Give it a second. eeeee...
- Yeah, I knew he'd blow it. Let's do selfies instead.
- Totes! - No, wait--Doi!
- I "nose" just what this picture needs!
- Come on, Luan, you can't wear those in the photo.
- Oh, don't be such a Groucho!
- What this photo needs are some tunes!
- No, no, no, no, no, photographs don't have--
- sound!
- You're ruining the picture!
Maybe you should take off that gross hat!
- Maybe you should take off that gross face!
- Lily! Where is your diaper?
Guys, please! Can we all just settle down?
- Look at us, we're like a vision of insanity.
I can't give this to Mom and Dad.
It's worse than Aunt Shirley.
Argh! I mean, my coffee mug!
I've got to give them a better picture.
The perfect picture. Time for a do-over.
- Mirror, mirror in my hand. Who's the prettiest in the land?
- Not you, once Mudzilla gets a hold of you!
- Aah!
Hey! You washed off my mud!
Ha ha! You got spray--
- Perfect!
- Hey! You washed off my makeup!
- Good news, guys. We're taking another family picture.
But we already did one!
- Stay right here. And no more mud or makeup.
What?
- Thank you for understanding!
Look, I'm all about self-expression,
but this new picture needs to be perfect,
so I'm gonna need you to keep your diaper on.
- Thanks for understanding.
- Poo-poo!
- Let's just put a pin in this for now.
- If the hypotenuse of a right triangle is
the mean proportional between segments, then--
- Hey, Lisa, we're doing another family picture.
How about we lose the glasses and do something with your hair?
- Or just lose the glasses.
- But, Lincoln, my astigmatism.
- It's okay! It's just a hairline fracture.
- Did I hear we're taking more photos? Yay!
Uh-oh. Guess we'll have to wait till after this solar eclipse.
Whoa. You're like a wizard...
or a weatherman.
- Maybe you should wear these for the picture, Leni.
They make you look, umm,
even smarter than you already are.
- Wow! Thanks!
Aah!
I'm all right! I landed on Lisa!
- Okay, now it's a break.
- Okay, just stay here!
- But--
- Here's some ice packs! And a bandage!
Okay, throw them!
- Okay, guys. Time to take a new picture.
- A new picture? No way.
- Ya ready, Lynn? Fetch, girl!
- Good, Lynn!
Now stay!
- When did we get grass in our bedroom?
- Time to take a new picture.
- Sweet! Let me just grab my axe.
- And I'll get my funny nose and glasses.
- Dudes! Where's my axe?
- And where are my glasses?
- Uh, silly props are not going to be in this picture.
You'll get them back after we get the shot.
- You took our stuff?
- Then we're not gonna be in your picture!
- Hmm. Sure would be a shame
if something happened to your things.
- This picture thing has changed you, dude.
- Which is exactly why I'm not going to be in it.
- Which is exactly why I took the liberty of replacing you.
- You what?
- Oh, Lori, I believe you know Carol Pingrey.
Didn't she beat you out for homecoming queen?
- Let's get this over with.
- Okay, everyone excited? So am I!
Ah! There you are!
You aren't getting that diaper off now!
Okay, pets, move on in!
Okay! Almost there, just a few more fixes.
Open up!
You, too.
You look thilly.
- Okay, give it here, girl.
- What?
- That hair.
- What about it?
But this hair isn't me, dude!
- And this glasses isn't I, either!
- Trust me! You guys look great!
- Okay, Lucy. I'm gonna need you to smile.
- I can't see that happening.
- I can't see anything happening!
- Ya know, some folks think taking someone's picture
actually steals their soul.
- Oh?
- Yeah! Just think of it.
Your soul trapped and tormented
inside a camera for all eternity.
- Close enough!
Okay, I think we're ready.
Hmm, still needs something to pull it all together.
I know!
Now this is a perfect picture.
- What was wrong with the other one?
- Oh, well, uh, it was kind of...
You guys were a little, uh...
- A little what, Lincoln?
- Yourselves?
- So that's what this is all about.
You don't like us the way we are.
- Well, I--you see, that is to say, I, uh...
- Okay, guys, let's all put on perfect smiles for
Lincoln's perfect picture,
because heaven forbid we be our actual, literal selves!
Cheese. - Lori,
I didn't mean--uh, um...
Actually, that's pretty perfect.
- Thanks so much, guys! I really appreciate your--
Guys? Guys? Huh.
Guess they must've had something else to do.
My days of giving lame anniversary presents are over.
Mom and Dad are gonna love this!
Look at us. We're like a vision of perfection.
- Mirror, mirror in my hand. Who's the prettiest in the land?
- Not you, after the mud monster gets you!
- - Roar!
- Aah! - Come back here!
- Hey, guys! I got the picture framed.
- Computing of the original formulation.
Okay, parameters--
Happy anniversary!
- Thanks, kids!
- Ooh, whose present should we open first?
- Mine!
- Oh, come on, girls, let's all let Lincoln give
his perfect little present.
- Yeah. I sure hope it's perfect enough.
- Oh, Lincoln, this is wonderful!
It's the best gift we've ever gotten!
- It's going above the mantle right now!
- Lincoln, you bonehead.
You gave them the wrong picture.
- Yep! I knew you'd blow this, too.
- No, I gave them the right one.
The one that shows the real you,
the perfect you.
Aww, thank you, Lincoln!
- By the way, you all might wanna put
your presents for Mom and Dad in here.
Since they'll all look super lame next to my awesome gift.
- Just perfect.
- Poo-poo.
- In a couple more hours this mud will be perfect to play in!
- Hey, guys,
why can't a comedian tell a dirty laundry joke?
'Cause it always comes out clean!
- I bloody love this song!
Sing it like you mean it, Mick!
- I'm trying to write here. - Blimey!
- No, I love you more, silly. It's our 6-week-iversary.
- You two are, like, gonna be together for-like-ever!
- Speaking of forever, Lori, my study indicates
you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time.
- Ew, there is no way I'm being in your grody poop study.
- Ah, rainy days.
Perfect for hanging out with the family and reading comics.
- No!
- Gross! - What?
- Why do you always have to read your comics in your underpants?
- 'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable
and distracting.
And you know how I like to be comfortable
while reading comics.
Now scooch!
- Aah! It's an annoying habit
and you get butt germs everywhere!
- Me? Annoying?
You can't look away from the mirror for five seconds!
- Lies!
- And, Lori, would it kill you
not to talk to Bobby all the time?
- I do not talk to Bobby all the time.
Do I, Bobby?
- And, Lisa, you always do your weird poop studies.
- It's quite fascinating work.
- See? You guys couldn't last ten minutes
without doing your annoying things.
- We could last longer than you!
- I bet you couldn't!
- Oh, really?
Care to make it a little more interesting?
If we can stop doing our things
longer than you can stop doing yours,
then you have to give up reading in your underwear
forever!
Yeah!
- Hold it. -
What's in it for me?
- If you win,
we'll never complain about your butt cooties again.
- Okay, but if I beat you,
you also have to buy me these beauties.
Pure cotton, 2,000 thread count, nonbinding elastic--
I'll just call them my victory undies.
- Deal. - Great!
So if I have to read comics with my clothes on,
Lola can't look in the mirror,
Luna can't speak in a British accent...
- Rock and row!
- Mud! - Lana can't play in mud...
- Dang it.
- Lori can't talk to Bobby...
- You are silly. Bobby who?
- Leni can't say "like"... - Like, okay.
- Lucy can't pop up and scare people,
Lisa has to give up her weird studies...
- Forgive me, science.
- Luan can't tell bad jokes,
Lynn can't turn everything into a sport,
- - And Lily can't cry.
Deal!
- Pants up, buddy boy!
- Okay, competition starts now.
- Wait, like, I wasn't clear on the rules.
- Leni, you can't say "like."
- Oh, got it!
- Okay, competition starts now.
- I'm, like, totally gonna win this.
- Nice going. Aah!
- Dang it.
- Come on, ladies! Stay focused!
- Two down. I can practically smell those victory undies.
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
- See, I don't even need a mirror to put my makeup on.
Comfy over there, Lincoln?
Yep! Just about...
to dive...
into my...
comics. Aah.
- Oh.
- Control yourself, woman!
- Well, nothing sporty about folding laundry.
- Or funny.
- Lana, heel!
- Herdy, verdy, verdy.
Easy peasy, I just svitched to Svedish, ya.
- You poor, fragile Homo sapiens.
- I vill take that, ya!
- No, you von't! I mean, won't!
Give it back!
- Basketball.
Don't do it! Don't do it!
- Two points!
Two points! Two points! Two points! Yeah!
- Buh-bye!
Ugh. Maybe the pants are the problem.
- - Too scratchy. Too tight.
Too far after Labor Day.
Oh, these are perfect.
- Babe! Why aren't you answering my calls?
- Forgive me, my love.
Lincoln, why are you wearing my leggings?
- Hey, you never said I had to wear my pants.
Plus these are so comfy!
- Good luck. Those are the ones that really ride up on ya.
- Sure, Lori. You're just trying to mess with my--hello!
Yep, those are ridin'!
- Hey, cats and kittens! This is Jay Rock here!
I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with
the best British accent.
Hello, you're on the air. Let's hear your best British accent.
- Come on, love,
hand over those tickets!
- Sorry, caller, I can't hear you.
- Come on, love, hand over those tickets!
- If you don't speak up, you can't win!
- Hand over the bleedin' tickets, mate!
Herdy verdy?
- Ugh! I've read the same panel 20 times!
Who's there?
- Bobby!
- Bobby who?
- Don't you dare answer that joke, Luan!
- I gotta let him in!
- Geez, how many Loud sisters does it take to open a door?
- Luan, do not answer that!
- Hey, look! Free makeup samples!
- Huh?
- Ha!
Bobby!
- Mud!
- Happy 6-week-iversary, Bobby-Boo-Boo-Bear!
- Thanks, Babe! I would've been here sooner
but I had to wait for a chicken to cross the road.
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get to the other side! To run away from the cook!
To prove he's no chicken!
- No!
Sweet comic relief.
- Here, babe. I brought you something special.
- Aww.
- It's the milkshake from our first date.
Six weeks ago!
Coming through! Literally!
The missing piece of my gastrointestinal study!
- Sweet mother of discovery!
- I'm only human.
- You people are useless!
- And then there were two.
- You may have outlasted those amateurs,
but now you've gotta deal with a real professional.
- I won't give up!
For the sake of all things comfortable!
Aah! I gotta do something about these pants.
- Now these are pants I can read in.
You girls better start pooling your money,
because I'm about to win this thing.
- Then perhaps it's time to turn up the heat.
- Phew. Is it hot in here?
98 degrees?
So that's how she's gonna play it.
- Lincoln, what are you doing?
- Just reading.
Oh, and I polished every surface in the living room.
So shiny you can see your face.
- Aah!
Must...not...look... at...self!
Beautiful, beautiful self!
Aah!
- And I waxed the kitchen floor, too!
Such reflection!
- Aah!
That's it!
Give up, Lincoln! You know you want these.
Smell 'em! Smell that cotton!
You know you want 'em!
- I'm not giving up!
You'd give up right now
if you could see what's wrong with your face!
- What?
Guys, is there something wrong with my face?
- You look beautiful. - You look gorgeous.
- Lies! Give me a mirror!
Aah!
Ahh, that's better.
- I win!
The victory undies are mine!
Okay, ladies, pay up!
Hey, Lily.
Lily!
- She didn't cry this entire time. That means...
Lily wins!
- And I lost.
- Well, Lincoln, guess you have to give up reading comics
in your underwear forever.
- Ahh, how I've missed this beautiful face.
Oh.
- Who's there?
- Delivery man.
- Delivery man who?
- Come on, kid, it's raining!
- That's your punch line?
You really need to work on your delivery!
- Package for Lincoln Loud.
My victory undies. I don't get it.
- We didn't order it for you.
- I did.
But he lost the bet!
- Come on, you guys.
We clearly can't give up our things.
Why should Lincoln have to give up his?
We should all accept each other's habits.
Even if some of them are really, really gross.
- Totally. - Absolutely.
- Whatevs.
- Thank you!
They're almost too nice to wear.
But not that nice!
Ah, rainy days.
There's nothing like doing the thing you love,
surrounded by the ones you love,
and 2,000 thread count undies.
- Chicken, come back! Why did you cross the road?
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house