- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
- It's nice, but I'm kind of surprised
you chose a pink one with streamers and a basket.
- I didn't choose it, Clyde.
It's a hand-me-down from Lori.
- This was Lori's bike?
Oh!
- In a big family, hand-me-downs are a fact of life.
Here, let me take you through a few
of Lincoln Loud's Hand-me-down Greatest Hits.
There was Leni's sparkly shirt.
- Sorry, it has my initials on it.
- But L.L. are also my initials.
Never mind.
- And then there was Colonel Crackers,
Luan's ventriloquist dummy.
I'm thirsty.
- And they call me the dummy.
- Luna's electric guitar.
- Here you go, Bro.
All it needs is love.
Love is all it needs.
- And strings and a neck and a body.
And Lynn's, um--
- You'll thank me during those penalty kicks.
- Grody!
- I don't think this bike
is gonna fit under your bed, Lincoln.
- I know. I already tried.
But I definitely can't ride it.
It's embarrassing.
- Hey, look.
Lori even got you a personalized plate.
She's so thoughtful.
- Uh, yeah.
That's better.
- Nice bike, kid.
- Yeah, that bike is so lame it,
it--I got nothing.
- You guys think this is mine?
Please, this is my sister's.
I'd totally show you my bike, but it's in the shop.
Yep, getting her totally tricked out.
And I'm getting the brakes taken off,
because, you know, brakes are for wimps.
- Whoa, that sounds sick.
- Oh, it's sick all right.
Temperature of 102.
- I can't wait to check this bike out.
Bring it by the park when you get it back.
- Oh, uh, I, uh--
- We'll be waiting for you.
Later.
- Uh, Lincoln, what are you gonna do?
You don't have a sick bike.
- Look out, sick bike coming through.
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- About how Lori gets her hair so shiny?
- No. I'm thinking about Lynn's bike.
I'll just borrow it for an hour, show it off to those guys,
and then I'm off the hook.
- That sounds like a really dumb plan,
and I'm totally in.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoa! - Hey, guys.
Feast your eyes.
- Whoa!
That bike really is sick.
- Yeah, and that bike is sick too...
but not in a good way.
- What? My parents' tandem?
I'll have you know when two riders are on this hog,
it could burn some serous rubber.
- Well, anyway, we should bail.
You probably won't see me riding this again.
I like to keep it in the garage so it doesn't get dinged.
- Wait, how would you like to be our new leader?
- Hey, I thought I was your leader.
- Sorry, Papa Wheelie,
you're out. - Hmm!
- I'm Rusty Spokes and this is Flat Tire.
What's your handle gonna be?
- Hmm. How about Chain Linc?
Sick.
- Lincoln, you can't join their crew.
You've got to get Lynn's bike home.
- We'll call you Two Seats.
- Okay, I'm in.
- Okay, guys, let's ride.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo.
- Whoo-hoo! - Whoo-hoo!
- Woo!
♪
Whoo!
♪
Where's Lynn's hand-me-down when I need it?
♪
- Hmm, sick.
- Hey, ladies.
Oh.
- Ooh, nice hog.
- You too.
- Ooh.
- Yee-haw!
- You see, Clyde,
I told you being in a bike crew would be cool.
- Who's Clyde? My name's Two Seats.
- Sometimes in life you just got to take chances.
You know what they say, no risk, no re-wah--
- What's a re-wah?
- My bike, it's gone.
- Manny, you were supposed to watch the bikes.
- What am I gonna tell Lynn?
- You see, Lynn, this bear came into the garage
and rode off with your bike.
Nah. Dad sold your bike to pay for Lisa's new bifocals.
A spaceship came down and beamed up your bike.
I'm just gonna have to tell her the truth.
Uh, hey, Lynn?
- Can't talk now, Lincoln.
Only a few hours till the big competition.
- What big competition?
- The stunt-bike competition.
- Are you using your bike?
- Duh. Now move it.
I got to brush up on my Crossover Stoppies.
- I wouldn't do that.
I mean, when's the last time your bike had a good tune-up?
- I don't know. Who cares?
- Who cares about your safety?
I do, which is why I'm gonna
get your bike tuned up for you before the competition.
- Lincoln.
- I insist.
I'll be back before you can say Comb-Over Sloppy.
- Crossover Stoppy.
- Right, those.
Chain Linc to Two Seats.
Come in, Two Seats.
- This is Two Seats. Did you tell Lynn?
Are you calling from an ambulance?
- No, something's come up.
We need to find Lynn's bike now.
Can you come get me on the tandem?
- I would, but my parents took it to go antiquing.
They could be gone for a while.
They said something about finding the perfect
Amish butter dish.
- Then I know what I have to do.
♪
Excuse me. Coming through.
- Oh, sorry little girl.
- Hey,
have you seen my bike?
- Have any of you seen my bike?
- Have you seen my bike?
- Pink bike?
♪
- Chain Linc, what's with that lame bike?
- This heap? It's my sister's.
I'm just borrowing it so I can find my bike.
- Oh, right. Of course.
Hey, why are you questioning Chain Linc?
- I wasn't. Chain, I'm sorry.
I know you would never ride a lame-o bike like that.
Let's ride, boys.
- Wait. I can't live this lie anymore.
The cool bike was my sister's.
I took it so you guys wouldn't make fun of me
for riding this one, this pink nightmare
with the basket and the streamers...
is my bike.
Phew! It actually feels good to get that off my chest.
- That's your bike? - You're a joke.
- Chain Linc, more like weakest link.
- That feels a little less good.
- You're out of our crew.
Papa Wheelie, you're our leader again.
- Yes! Let's ride, boys.
- You could be our leader.
We'll call you Sweet Feet.
There's only one thing left to do.
- You did what?
I've got my competition.
- I'm really sorry, Lynn.
- Why did you take my bike in the first place?
- I didn't want my friends to see me on Lori's hand-me-down.
- Uh, hello,
what do you think my bike is?
A hand-me-down!
- It is? - It's true.
It was my bike first.
Go bike.
- Then she handed it down to me.
I had to do some work on it,
but then it was ride, Sally, ride.
- Then Luna handed it down to me,
and I made it part of my act.
♪
Looks like I've got a 7/10 split.
- Luan handed it down to me
and I turned it into the bike that you just got stolen.
- See, Lincoln, we all have to deal with hand-me-downs.
We've just learned to make the best of them.
- You don't have to deal with them; you're the oldest.
- Are you kidding me?
This isn't really a tank top.
It's literally the top of Mom's old girdle.
Ew! - Well, enough chit chat.
I got go get to my competition.
- You're gonna ride that?
- What choice do I have?
- You better not let Colonel Crackers get stolen.
- Hey, you heard the lady!
- Hey, buddy.
- Clyde, you found Lynn's bike.
- It wasn't me; my parents found it.
They weren't as lucky with the butter dish though.
- This is great.
Maybe there's time to get it to Lynn
before she gets crushed in the competition.
- Yee-hee-hee haw!
Lynn Loud, bringing home the gold!
Boo-yah! - You won?
That's amazing!
Hey, I've got good news too.
Your bike turned up.
- Ah, you keep it.
I'm kind of into this bike now.
It's pretty sick.
- Guys, check it out.
I got the bike back and now it's really mine.
- Cool, but we're not here for you.
We're here for your sister, Lynn.
Her bike is the sickest.
- Temperature of 103.
- Yeah, Lynnsanity.
You're officially our new leader!
- Whoo-hoo. - Aw, come on.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- About whether Lori gets her teeth whitened,
or are they naturally that beautiful?
- No.
I'm thinking that I had my turn with this.
It's time to hand it down.
Hey, Lana, I got a bike for you.
- Wow! Thanks, Lincoln.
It's got potential.
- Thanks to my sisters,
I've got a whole new view of hand-me-downs.
It's not about what you get;
it's all about what you do with it.
- Listen to what he says, kids.
- I'm Ace Savvy, the world's savviest crime fighter.
a man of few words and even fewer emotions...
except for today,
because it's the day
of the big Ace Savvy Comic Book Convention!
Yeah!
And now to call my trusty sidekick.
One-Eyed Jack, this is Ace Savvy.
- This is One-Eyed Jack.
Just putting the finishing touches on my costume.
And when it's ready, I'll be keeping one eye out for crime.
Ow! - Roger that.
I'll see you at 4:00 when it's time to...
deal out some justice.
Dang it.
- Get a load of this?
- That is literally the funniest thing I have ever seen.
- You aren't going out in public like that, are you?
- I might point out that you are well past the recommended age
that this behavior is deemed acceptable.
- Harsh, right?
But you know what? It doesn't even bother me.
With ten opinionated sisters, you got to have a thick skin.
Your insults are like the wind beneath my cape.
They only lift me higher.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some guy-liner to apply.
- - Gross.
Lincoln, you clogged the toilet again?
- I'm telling Dad.
- What makes you think I did it?
- Maybe because you've made more clogs
than a Dutch shoe factory.
- So long, liverwurst loaf.
- I'm telling Dad!
- Mom can't make me wear you if she can't find you.
- I'm telling Dad!
- Has anyone seen my CDs?
I got to practice for karaoke tonight.
♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, Fa, la, la, la, la ♪
- I'm telling Dad!
- All true, but this time it was not me, I swear.
- Well, there goes my Saturday.
- Forget that pitiful plunger, Dad.
This is a class 5 clog.
You're gonna need Big Bertha.
- Well, Mr. Flush-My-CDs- Down-the-Can,
I assume this was your doing.
- No, Dad. For real, it was not me.
- Well, somebody did it.
Toilets don't just clog themselves.
Until one of you fesses up, everyone's grounded.
- But, Dad, I can't be grounded.
The convention's in a few hours
and I got to get my Ace Savvy comic signed.
- Until I know who did the crime,
you're all doing the time.
- No!
Ah! - Big Bertha coming through.
- Well, I'm not doing the tine for this crime.
I'm gonna find out who the real clogger is...
Ace Savvy style.
Dang it.
One of you is the perp...
but which one?
- Hey, Linc... -
I might have a tip for you.
- Really? Wait. Why do you want to help?
I don't care about being grounded.
My life is just an endless mental prison anyway.
But it's not fair that you have to miss your thing.
- Thank you. So what do you got?
- Lynn has eaten spicy meatball subs for ten straight days.
You know what that does to your digestive system?
- That's disgusting, but also a lead.
I like your instincts, kid.
You want to team up? - Sure.
I've got nothing else to do besides bear the weight
of the world on my shoulders.
- Right.
- Hey, what's with the light?
- Why don't you admit it, Lynn?
You jammed the john.
- I think those tights are cutting off oxygen
to your brain. - Oh, yeah?
Then explain this.
Nobody can eat this many subs
and not wreak havoc on the plumbing.
- Nice try, genius,
but my favorite roller derby team is playing tonight,
and I never bomb the bowl before a big game.
It's bad luck.
If I go number two, we won't be number one.
- Gross.
- If you want to know who plugged the porcelain,
why don't you ask Lisa.
She keeps a log
of all our bathroom habits.
Pun intended.
- Of course, Lisa's weird poop study.
Let's go see this joker.
- That's the two of diamonds. - Argh.
I need the file for last night from 1:00 to 4:00 a.m.
- Hmm, 1:00 to 4:00 a.m.
Hmm. It seems to be missing.
- Missing? How convenient.
Clearly you did it. Case closed.
- Oh, please.
I haven't used the family lavatory in years.
It takes too much time away from my studies.
I prefer to use Lily's training potty.
- It looks like your story's clean,
but your training potty's not. - What about Lily?
She's always throwing her dirty diapers in the toilet.
- Ah-ha! Nope.
I'd say they're all here.
That clears these two.
- What about Lori?
- Of course, she was so quick to point the finger at me,
she who dodged it,
lodged it.
Lori did not do it.
- Well, Big Bertha's got something.
- I want to see. Is it something really grody?
Paper?
It's got to be something bigger than that.
Move over, rookie.
Some jobs require you to get your hands dirty.
- ♪ One-Eyed Jack, One-Eyed Jack ♪
♪ Villains better watch their back ♪
Ahh! My crime eye.
Wah!
- Better put a pot of cocoa on.
We've only got two more hours until the convention,
and five more suspects to go.
- It wasn't me.
I was asleep the whole time, and I can prove it.
I film myself sleeping in case
I say something funny I can use for my act.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
- Ooh, you want to do an interview?
Okay, my favorite color is zebra,
and the secret to a great smile is...
- Ah, I wish I could take the credit.
I've been trying to dam up the dumper for years.
- I would never get up in the night.
It disrupts my beauty sleep.
- I was at a rock concert, dudes.
- Prove it.
- Mick, wait! I just want a lock of your hair!
- Okay, that proves it.
- Argh, we're running out of time, and we got nothing.
- We got something!
Here's the culprit.
- Aha! A break in the case.
"
"The touching story of a delightful pony
who changes the world with her horse sense."
- There's only one person who would read this.
Lola.
- That lying scoundrel.
You guys do remember that was just down the toilet, right?
- Gah!
Uh...
We know you did it, Lola.
We found your book in the toilet.
- Barf. That is not mine.
I might be girly and pink, but I do have standards.
- I think she's telling the truth.
- I don't.
She's sweating more than a vampire in the sun.
Let me take a run at her.
You know you did it.
Admit it. Confess.
If you don't tell the truth,
your heart will never be set free.
- Whoa, take it easy there, spooky.
- You're cleaning that up.
- One-Eyed Jack?
- Sorry I'm late, Ace.
I would have been here sooner,
but I was thwarted by this dastardly piece of paper
that flew from your bathroom window.
- This looks like a page from "Princess Pony."
"If you don't tell the truth,
your heart will never be set free."
Where have I heard that before?
- If you don't tell the truth,
your heart will never be set free.
Set free, set free...
- Lucy.
You solved the case, One-Eyed Jack.
Thanks to you, the city can flush without fear.
Ace? Lincoln?
- It was you!
- Lincoln, stop kicking down the doors!
- You're the "Princess Pony" lover.
- That's absurd.
- Then you won't mind if I search the premises?
♪
- Are you done?
- I'll be done when I'm--
That's an odd shadow.
Aha!
Lisa's missing bathroom files.
- Lynn could have put that there.
You've got nothing on me.
Dang it.
- You've been lying to me this whole time. Why?
- I couldn't let our sisters know I read "Princess Pony."
You know how they are.
They'd make fun of me for the rest of my life.
- So then why do you read it?
- Even I need a break from the darkness now and then.
- So how did it end up in the toilet?
- The bathroom is the only place I can safely read it.
I was reading it last night,
and when I heard someone coming I panicked.
- Sorry, Lucy, but you have to tell everybody.
They still think I did it.
- But they'll tease me even worse than they tease you.
Maybe you can handle that, but I can't.
- I'm about to miss the convention.
Either you tell them or I will.
- Sigh. I'll tell them.
- Give it back! - It's mine.
- Excuse me.
I have something to say.
This is what totaled the toilet.
- "Princess Pony?"
- Which one of you lame-o's does that belong to?
- Certainly not me.
It's so sickeningly sweet,
I get a toothache just looking at it.
- Can that really happen?
- Whoever that belongs to is gonna be the laughingstock
of this house.
- Yeah, they are literally worse than Lincoln,
and he wears his underwear on the outside.
- Actually the book belongs to--
- Me.
You?
- I didn't want to tell you guys
because I knew you'd make fun of me.
- Aw, Lincoln, of course we're gonna make fun of you,
but only for the rest of your life.
- I'm looking forward to it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go tell--
- Dad! It was Lincoln who clogged the toilet.
- Lincoln, you're grounded!
Girls, you are no longer grounded!
- Why did you do that?
- Because you are right.
I can handle the teasing.
I'm quite comfortable with who I am, obviously.
But don't worry.
Someday you will be too.
Until then, your big brother's got your back.
- Thanks, Lincoln.
- As Ace Savvy would say, it's no big deal.
Dang it.
Hiyah! I did it.
- Hey, Lincoln. -
- Sorry you missed your convention.
Here, I made you something.
It's no signed Ace Savvy comic, but I hope you like it.
- Thank you, Lucy.
I see your break from the darkness is over.
- Whoo-hoo! My team did it!
We're number one!
Ooh, time for number two.
- Dad!
I think we're gonna need Big Bertha again!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house