- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
♪♪
- ♪ Yeah!
♪ Take my advice and don't be a mooch ♪
♪ Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ Give it a smooch
- Clyde, Smooch is the coolest band ever.
- Copy that.
I'd totally give life a smooch
if I wasn't saving my lips for Lori.
- Clyde and I are going to see Smooch tonight,
and not to make a big deal of it,
but it's our first concert.
Okay, Clyde, meet you at the ticket line in T-minus one hour.
- Okay, that'll give me time to work on my dance moves.
Oh!
- Aah!
- Simmer down and listen up.
- We overheard your conversation and we're here to warn you.
- Do not let Luna know
that you're going to your first concert.
She'll insist on going with you.
- What? Why?
- I don't know, 'cause she's nuts?
But she's done it to all of us.
- Yeah, and when she goes,
she gets way too excited and literally ruins everything.
There was my first Boyz Will Be Boyz concert.
- ♪ Ooh, girl, if I could
♪ Ooh, girl, give you the
I love you!
- Come on, people.
Where's your energy?
- ♪ Ooh, girl
- And our first Blarney the Dinosaur concert.
- ♪ Moo goes the cow
♪ Oink goes the pig
♪ Watch me do me Irish jig
- Come on, guys. Crowd surf!
- And my first opera.
- Check it, Lis!
Stage dive!
- Oh, man.
I can't let Luna find out about Smooch.
- Don't worry.
We can get you out without her knowing.
- Guys, I am not getting in one of Lucy's coffins again.
- That won't be necessary.
Please keep your arms and legs inside at all times.
- Aah!
It's all taken care of.
Luna will never know about the concert.
- Yo, bro.
I saved you a spot in line!
- Luna, how did you know about the concert?
- You kidding me?
When it comes to music, I know all.
Are you ready for me to show you
how to have the greatest first concert ever?
- Well, I uh...
- Awesome!
First up, something has to be done about your duds.
Your threads, man.
Wow, your clothes, dude.
- I think we're fine.
- So much better.
- There's no zipper. What if I need to pee?
- You'll be having too much fun to pee.
Now let's see your rock pose.
Uh, what's that?
- My rock pose. I'm igneous.
- No, dudes.
I mean throw up the goats... like this.
Yeah!
You try.
Yeah, uh...
- We'll work on it later.
Now let's see your dance moves.
- I can't dance.
- What? Everybody can dance, man.
You just have to feel the music and move yo booty!
- Whoa! Ugh!
- Raspberry or yellow?
- That's it, Lincoln.
Come on, everybody!
Pre-show sing-along.
Sing it with me!
♪ Take my advice and don't be a mooch ♪
♪ Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch ♪
Speaking of smooch, just your type.
Get over here, bro.
There's nothing like falling in love at your first concert.
Oooh!
- That's it. We're done here.
- Dude,
I'm just trying to make your first concert unforgettable.
- All you're doing is embarrassing me.
Our sisters warned me about you.
- What are you talking about?
- They said you ruined all their first concerts
just like you're ruining mine now.
- Ouch. Message received.
If that's the way you feel, good night, Royal Woods Mall.
Luna Loud has left the building.
- Did I go too far? Clyde?
Clyde, what are you doing?
- My rock pose. I don't like confrontations.
- Clyde, line's moving.
- Hey, no cuts, kid.
- Back of the line, line-cutter.
- But that was our spot.
Come on.
We made it!
- Sorry, boys.
Smooch is officially sold out.
No!
- I can't believe we didn't get Smooch tickets.
- Psst, hey, kid.
Did I hear you say you needed Smooch tickets?
- Yes! Two, please.
We're in! - Yes!
- You're in, all right.
Incarcerated.
- Are those good seats?
- Buying scalped tickets is illegal.
Let's go, hooligans.
- Well, might as well practice my dancing.
- Oh, give it up, kid.
My hip can pop and lock better than you.
- Pipe down, Scoots,
or I'll add disorderly conduct to your speeding charge.
- I still can't dance, Lincoln.
- What does it matter?
We're not going to the concert anyway.
- Yo, little Loud.
What are you doing here?
- Bobby? What are you doing here?
- This is my new job.
Lori loves a man in uniform,
plus I'm learning a ton about police work.
Here are those chicken samples you wanted
from the food court, Captain.
- Great work, Santiago.
Now go do a stakeout at Wok of Art.
I think they're giving out egg rolls.
- Right away, boss.
Boys, your mom's here.
What?
- Oh, my babies!
- Luna? I mean, Mom?
- You're lucky I answered the phone when the fuzz called, bro.
Officer, I'll take it from here.
- Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am.
- Your steaks, Captain.
- What the heck are you talking about?
Where are my egg rolls, son?
- You said to do a "steak" out, so--hey, Luna.
- You know their mother?
- That's not their mother. That's his sister.
Nice wig, by the way.
- Wig? -
- Oh, snap.
- Sorry, bro.
I fought the law and the law won.
- I can't believe you came back for us.
- I've been thinking about what you said,
and you and the girls are right.
I do get a little crazy when it comes to first concerts.
- Why are they so important to you?
- 'Cause my first rock show changed my life.
It was Mick Swagger, summer of 7th grade.
The Gimme Swelter Tour.
Up until that muggy June night,
I didn't know who I wanted to be,
but the moment Mick and the boys took the stage,
it all started to become clear.
- ♪ It was a hot June night
♪ When she saw the light
♪ Up until then she didn't know what was right ♪
♪ She showed up at the show
♪ All confused and alone
♪ She had no idea what was about to unfold ♪
♪ Transformation
- It was like he was talking to me.
- ♪ A citizen of the rock and roll nation ♪
♪ Transformation
♪ Total mutation
- It was in that moment I realized
I was Luna Loud!
Stage dive!
♪♪
- Wow, I had no idea.
- I know it's only rock and roll,
but I like it.
I'm sorry, that was just such a beautiful story.
You're right, kid.
First concerts are unforgettable.
And I can't let you miss yours.
Here, here's your tickets back.
Now get out of here.
- Mall Cop Captain, couldn't you see it in your heart
to let me spend my first concert with my sister?
A third ticket would mean a lot.
- Well, I just happen to have this other ticket
here in my pocket,
and since you did succeed earlier
in pulling at my heartstrings,
I would love for you to attend the show with your brother.
Rock and roll!
- You didn't have to do that, little brother.
- I know, but it wouldn't be a first concert without Luna Loud.
I'm sorry I said those things in the ticket line.
- It's cool, little bro.
And don't worry, I promise to be on my best behave.
- Okay, okay, enough.
Now get out of here, you crazy kids.
Ah, for those about to rock--
- Adios, mall cop!
- Bobby, we got a runner-- I mean a roller.
Cut her off at the food court.
- YOLO!
- Ah, come on.
Bobby, you can't just let a perp--
ooh, is that popcorn shrimp?
♪♪
- I can't see a thing.
Ugh, I thought my first concert was gonna be unforgettable.
- It could be, but I don't want to interfere.
- No, please, interfere.
- Okay, first up, we got to get to the front.
- Whoa, I can't cut in front of all these people.
- That's why they invented crowd surfing.
What?
- Whoo! This is awesome!
- Careful, guys. Cradle the neck.
- Enjoy the ride, dudes?
- Whoa, how did you get up here so fast?
- I have my ways. Now come on.
Pose it like you chose it.
- ♪ Smoochy smoochy
♪ Whoo
♪ Whoa whoa
♪ Wet and sloppy
- Boy, did my sisters have it wrong about Luna.
She's not nuts at all.
She's just really passionate about the things she loves.
And in the words of my favorite band,
sometimes you got to...
♪ Grab life by the lips
♪ And give it a smooch
- That's my bro!
- Thanks for making my first concert unforgettable, Luna!
Rock and roll!
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
This one ended real great and all,
but I still can't dance, Lincoln.
- Hold tight, Clyde.
- ♪ Da da smoochity smooch
I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
- ♪ Give it a smooch
♪
- Money.
In the Loud house, there just isn't a lot of it to go around.
Ew!
Grody!
Which is why, when you happen to find some,
even the smallest amount,
you've got to keep it to yourself.
Jackpot! Mwah!
- We heard money. A dime.
No, a quarter.
- That's impossible. Money doesn't make a sound.
- Haven't you ever heard the expression "money talks"?
- And that quarter is saying, "Hand me over, bro."
- It's mine!
- Guys, let's just split it 40/40.
- No, none of you are getting it.
I found it in the couch fair and square.
- Wait a second.
If there was one quarter down there,
then maybe there's more.
- What are they fighting over this time?
A nickel under the ottoman?
- Nope, a quarter down the sofa.
- We better stop them before they start biting.
- Ow! Lola!
- Too late.
All right, everybody get upstairs and clean the attic!
That's punishment for fighting over money.
- That punishment makes no "cents."
- Upstairs.
But that was a good one.
And I want that whole attic sparkling.
Even the back corner!
- But the back corner was my secret dark place.
- It's Lincoln's fault we're up here, so he can do it.
- And watch out for that loose floorboard!
- What loose floorboard?
Stupid loose floorboard.
Hey, what's this?
"Dear future residents of 1216 Franklin Avenue,
"my family always fought over money,
"so I decided to leave my fortune for you
"in the hope that you will share it.
"For a clue on where the money is hidden,
"reflect upon what I've said here.
Signed, Mrs. Sharon DeMonet, the original owner."
Hey, guys, check it out.
I found this letter from the original owner!
She said she's hidden money in the house.
- Yeah, right, Lincoln. Quit stalling.
You're not getting out of cleaning the attic.
Yeah!
- Fine, I'll just do it by myself,
and when I do, it'll be all mine.
Where'd everybody go?
Lisa, what are you doing?
- Um, just calibrating my dumb human detector.
Calibrated.
- Lucy, see anything?
- Lynn, what are you doing?
- Aah!
- Who, me?
No, no, just putting laundry down the chute.
- Laundry doesn't scream and go thud.
- No, but nosey brothers do.
- Okay, okay!
- Sorry, Luce! - That's okay.
I found a new secret dark place.
- Looking for something, Lola?
- Uh, no.
I'm just practicing for the, uh, Lil Miss Chimney Sweep Pageant.
- There's nothing up there.
- There's got to be.
Now keep looking!
- Hand me the flashlight.
- Quick, hide!
- Okay.
- What are you up to?
- Just, um, practicing my drums.
- Can someone answer the ringing in my head?
- Gross! What is that? - Get off my pumps!
- I'm gonna pump your face if you don't move faster.
- Let's just get this over with.
- Ugh, why didn't Mrs. DeMonet just tell us where the money is?
- I don't know. Let's ask her.
- Wait, that's just a leftover Halloween decoration.
- Hey, what are you two doing?
- Uh, we're just dusting.
- Wait, I thought we were looking for the money.
- I knew it!
Okay, admit it,
you're all looking for the money, aren't you?
- Obviously. - Uh, duh!
- Heck yes, we are!
- Where'd you find your first clue, Sherlock?
- You guys didn't even believe the money existed.
I'm the one who should get it.
- Forget that!
I'm finding it for myself.
- Not if I find it first.
- Yeah, dream on. - It's mine.
Obviously you haven't learned your lesson.
Back to the attic.
- The answer must be in here somewhere.
I know it.
"Reflect upon what I've said here."
What could that mean?
Reflect! Duh!
I'm just going to be over here
cleaning the, uh, the dirty thing.
- What's that?
- Ah! Nothing.
- Lincoln found another letter.
Read it!
- Okay, okay, calm down.
"Well done. You've found the next clue.
"But beware, if you fight like my family did,
you'll never get to the bottom of the matter."
You guys, maybe we should listen to her and stop fighting.
- Yeah, Lincoln's right.
As soon as we're done cleaning here,
we should totally work together to find the money.
- Hey! Lori's going after the money!
- Wait!
Guys, the letter.
Remember what Sharon DeMonet said.
- Forget Sharon DeMonet.
It's every man for himself.
- Yaaah!
- Smell the money, boy.
Now go find more!
Hey! Spit it out, Charles!
So help me, I will get that dollar back,
even if I have to wait for it to come out the other end!
- I summon you from the great beyond.
Mrs. Sharon DeMonet,
tell me where your fortune is.
Speak to me, oh, spirit.
Come on, lady.
Just tell me where the dough is.
- What did Sharon say?
- Sharon said get out of our room!
- Hey, look, I found the bread.
And the cheddar.
And the lettuce.
And the clams.
Ew.
No wonder someone threw this out.
- Hey, what--
- Stay out. This is our turf!
- Hey, get back here!
That's my dollar!
- Have you found it?
- Oh, no, you don't!
Search your own room!
- Duh, why didn't I think of that?
Where are you?
Back, back, you animals!
- I found it!
You found the money?
- No, my missing floral pump.
Aww.
- The money's not up here.
Maybe it's downstairs.
- The dining room.
- The living room!
- Lily's room!
- We've literally searched the whole house, and nothing.
- Hello?
My floral pump is not nothing.
- Maybe we missed something in the letter.
- You're the one who ripped it! - You did!
- Dude, how are we gonna find the money now?
- We're not. - Why?
- What are you talking about?
- 'Cause all we did was fight over it.
And this is exactly what Sharon DeMonet warned us about.
How about this?
From now on, any time we find money,
whether it's a hidden fortune or even this quarter,
we all share it equally.
- Sounds good. - Yeah, I kind of like that.
- I'll even share the dollar I got back from Charles.
- Let's not.
- That thing is dirty money.
- Aw, we're sorry, Lily.
Did your noisy sisters and brother wake you?
- Hey, what's that stuck to Lily's bottom?
- It's a map.
"If you're reading this,
"it means you came together and got to the bottom of the matter.
Congratulations! You're almost there."
But wait, how could she have known the map
would be on Lily's bottom?
- Who cares? Let's find the money!
- X marks the spot.
- Ooh, I love solving for X.
Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig!
- I've got some experience digging holes.
Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig!
- Digging is fun for the "hole" family.
Get it?
Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig!
- Okay, everyone, stand back.
Luna! A little digging music?
- You got it, sis.
- It's locked. - I got this.
- What? There's more to my head than just air, you know.
- $500!
- So if we share it equally, that means we each get, uh....
- $45.4545455 each.
- Yay. Yay. Yay. - Yeah, woo-hoo!
- One, two, three!
- It was really nice of you to give up your work bonus.
Are you ever gonna tell them that you're Sharon DeMonet?
- Nah.
- I have to admit,
it's nice to see them sharing money and not fighting over it.
- Yep. All part of Sharon's plan.
- Was destroying the house part of Sharon's plan?
- No, no, it was not.
- Well, now she can Sharon DeCleanUp.
- Money.
There just isn't a lot of it in the Loud house.
But when there is,
it's good to know that from now on,
the kids will share it.
Ooh, a dime!
I'll just, uh, keep this one to myself.
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house