- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat music]
♪
- The key to the perfect anniversary present for
your parents is simple, know your audience.
And since my folks love what I bring to the table,
I make them the same thing every year:
this awesome coffee mug!
- Coffee mug?
I thought it was a paperweight.
- Paperweight? That thing is definitely a pencil holder.
- Negatory.
Clearly it's a bust of German philosopher Immanuel Kant.
- I "Kant" even tell what it is.
[laughs]
- Clearly no one can figure out what that thing is.
No wonder Mom and Dad just
throw all your old gifts in the attic.
all: [gasp] - What?
Lola must've been messing around with me.
Mom and Dad love my paperweights.
I mean, coffee mugs!
What's this?
Do not open. Okay.
[gasps] It's true.
Mom and Dad do hate my gifts!
- If you turn your head to the side and squint,
it almost looks like Aunt Shirley.
[scream]
- Or an inflamed liver.
- When he's this pathetic,
it takes all the joy out of making fun of him.
- I can hear you!
together: We know!
- Mom and Dad's anniversary is tomorrow.
What am I gonna do?
[camera shutter clicks]
- Oh, I think an idea's developing.
Aah!
I've figured out the perfect present for Mom and Dad!
Ta-da!
- You're giving them Dad's old camera?
- Wow, you are cheap.
- No, not the camera! A photograph of all of us!
- Why use that old thing when you can just use a cell phone?
- Because that would be like
painting the "Mona Lisa" with a crayon.
- Wow, this may be the year you don't fail miserably
and crush Mom and Dad's souls.
- Thank you for the vote of confidence.
Everyone to the backyard!
Okay, that's it.
Leni, scooch to the left.
- Your other left. - [giggles]
- Perfect. Someone grab Lily.
Thank you. Good.
Just gotta set the timer and...
everybody say cheese!
all: Chee...
- When is it gonna flash? My jaw is cramping up!
all: eeeeee...
- Give it a second. all: eeeee...
- Yeah, I knew he'd blow it. Let's do selfies instead.
- Totes! - No, wait--Doi!
- I "nose" just what this picture needs!
[laughs]
- Come on, Luan, you can't wear those in the photo.
- Oh, don't be such a Groucho! [laughs]
- What this photo needs are some tunes!
- No, no, no, no, no, photographs don't have--
[loud chord] - sound!
- You're ruining the picture!
Maybe you should take off that gross hat!
- Maybe you should take off that gross face!
[indistinct arguing]
- Lily! Where is your diaper?
Guys, please! Can we all just settle down?
[camera shutter clicks]
- Look at us, we're like a vision of insanity.
I can't give this to Mom and Dad.
It's worse than Aunt Shirley.
Argh! I mean, my coffee mug!
I've got to give them a better picture.
The perfect picture. Time for a do-over.
- Mirror, mirror in my hand. Who's the prettiest in the land?
- Not you, once Mudzilla gets a hold of you!
[growls]
- Aah!
- [coughs]
Hey! You washed off my mud!
Ha ha! You got spray--
- Perfect!
- Hey! You washed off my makeup!
- Good news, guys. We're taking another family picture.
both: But we already did one!
- Stay right here. And no more mud or makeup.
both: What?
- Thank you for understanding!
Look, I'm all about self-expression,
but this new picture needs to be perfect,
so I'm gonna need you to keep your diaper on.
- [giggles and babbles]
- Thanks for understanding.
- Poo-poo! [babbles]
- Let's just put a pin in this for now.
- If the hypotenuse of a right triangle is
the mean proportional between segments, then--
- Hey, Lisa, we're doing another family picture.
How about we lose the glasses and do something with your hair?
[kazoo blurts]
[off-key guitar chord]
[horn blows]
[bell dings]
- Or just lose the glasses.
- But, Lincoln, my astigmatism.
[crash, thudding]
- [groans] - [glass shatters]
- It's okay! It's just a hairline fracture.
- Did I hear we're taking more photos? Yay!
Uh-oh. Guess we'll have to wait till after this solar eclipse.
Whoa. You're like a wizard...
or a weatherman.
- Maybe you should wear these for the picture, Leni.
They make you look, umm,
even smarter than you already are.
- Wow! Thanks!
Aah!
[groans]
I'm all right! I landed on Lisa!
- Okay, now it's a break.
- Okay, just stay here!
- But--
- Here's some ice packs! And a bandage!
together: Okay, throw them!
- Okay, guys. Time to take a new picture.
- A new picture? No way.
- Ya ready, Lynn? Fetch, girl!
- [panting]
- Good, Lynn!
Now stay!
[upbeat music]
♪
- When did we get grass in our bedroom?
- Time to take a new picture.
- Sweet! Let me just grab my axe.
- And I'll get my funny nose and glasses.
- Dudes! Where's my axe?
- And where are my glasses?
- Uh, silly props are not going to be in this picture.
You'll get them back after we get the shot.
- You took our stuff?
- Then we're not gonna be in your picture!
- Hmm. Sure would be a shame
if something happened to your things.
- This picture thing has changed you, dude.
- Which is exactly why I'm not going to be in it.
- Which is exactly why I took the liberty of replacing you.
- You what?
[doorbell rings]
- Oh, Lori, I believe you know Carol Pingrey.
Didn't she beat you out for homecoming queen?
- Let's get this over with.
- Okay, everyone excited? So am I!
Ah! There you are!
You aren't getting that diaper off now!
Okay, pets, move on in!
Okay! Almost there, just a few more fixes.
Open up!
You, too.
together: You look thilly.
- Okay, give it here, girl.
- [growls]
- What?
- That hair.
- What about it?
But this hair isn't me, dude!
- And this glasses isn't I, either!
- Trust me! You guys look great!
- Okay, Lucy. I'm gonna need you to smile.
- I can't see that happening.
- I can't see anything happening!
- Ya know, some folks think taking someone's picture
actually steals their soul.
- Oh?
- Yeah! Just think of it.
Your soul trapped and tormented
inside a camera for all eternity.
[metal creaks]
- Close enough!
Okay, I think we're ready.
Hmm, still needs something to pull it all together.
I know!
Now this is a perfect picture.
- What was wrong with the other one?
- Oh, well, uh, it was kind of...
You guys were a little, uh...
- A little what, Lincoln?
- Yourselves?
all: [grumbling]
- So that's what this is all about.
You don't like us the way we are.
- Well, I--you see, that is to say, I, uh...
- Okay, guys, let's all put on perfect smiles for
Lincoln's perfect picture,
because heaven forbid we be our actual, literal selves!
together: Cheese. - Lori,
I didn't mean--uh, um...
Actually, that's pretty perfect.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Thanks so much, guys! I really appreciate your--
Guys? Guys? Huh.
Guess they must've had something else to do.
My days of giving lame anniversary presents are over.
Mom and Dad are gonna love this!
Look at us. We're like a vision of perfection.
- Mirror, mirror in my hand. Who's the prettiest in the land?
- Not you, after the mud monster gets you!
- [screams] - Roar!
- Aah! - Come back here!
- [screaming]
- [roaring]
- Hey, guys! I got the picture framed.
both: [giggling]
- [blows raspberry]
both: [laughing]
[rock music]
- Computing of the original formulation.
Okay, parameters--
both: [giggling]
all: [laughing]
together: Happy anniversary!
- Thanks, kids!
- Ooh, whose present should we open first?
- Mine!
- Oh, come on, girls, let's all let Lincoln give
his perfect little present.
- Yeah. I sure hope it's perfect enough.
- Oh, Lincoln, this is wonderful!
It's the best gift we've ever gotten!
- It's going above the mantle right now!
- Lincoln, you bonehead.
You gave them the wrong picture.
- Yep! I knew you'd blow this, too.
- No, I gave them the right one.
The one that shows the real you,
the perfect you.
together: Aww, thank you, Lincoln!
- By the way, you all might wanna put
your presents for Mom and Dad in here.
Since they'll all look super lame next to my awesome gift.
all: [grumbling]
- Just perfect.
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]