- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah!
♪ Take my advice and don't be a mooch ♪
♪ Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ Give it a smooch
- Clyde, Smooch is the coolest band ever.
- Copy that.
I'd totally give life a smooch
if I wasn't saving my lips for Lori.
- Clyde and I are going to see Smooch tonight,
and not to make a big deal of it,
but it's our first concert.
Okay, Clyde, meet you at the ticket line in T-minus one hour.
- Okay, that'll give me time to work on my dance moves.
[grunts] Oh!
- Aah!
- Simmer down and listen up.
- We overheard your conversation and we're here to warn you.
- Do not let Luna know
that you're going to your first concert.
She'll insist on going with you.
- What? Why?
- I don't know, 'cause she's nuts?
But she's done it to all of us.
- Yeah, and when she goes,
she gets way too excited and literally ruins everything.
There was my first Boyz Will Be Boyz concert.
- ♪ Ooh, girl, if I could
♪ Ooh, girl, give you the
- [sobbing]
I love you!
- Come on, people.
Where's your energy?
[electricity crackles]
- ♪ Ooh, girl
- And our first Blarney the Dinosaur concert.
- ♪ Moo goes the cow
♪ Oink goes the pig
♪ Watch me do me Irish jig
- Come on, guys. Crowd surf!
- And my first opera.
- [singing in foreign language]
- Check it, Lis!
Stage dive!
- [screams] [horns squeal]
- Oh, man.
I can't let Luna find out about Smooch.
- Don't worry.
We can get you out without her knowing.
- Guys, I am not getting in one of Lucy's coffins again.
- That won't be necessary.
Please keep your arms and legs inside at all times.
- Aah!
It's all taken care of.
Luna will never know about the concert.
- Yo, bro.
I saved you a spot in line!
- Luna, how did you know about the concert?
- You kidding me?
When it comes to music, I know all.
Are you ready for me to show you
how to have the greatest first concert ever?
- Well, I uh...
- Awesome!
First up, something has to be done about your duds.
Your threads, man.
Wow, your clothes, dude.
- I think we're fine.
[rock guitar riff]
- So much better.
- There's no zipper. What if I need to pee?
- You'll be having too much fun to pee.
Now let's see your rock pose.
Uh, what's that?
- My rock pose. I'm igneous.
- No, dudes.
I mean throw up the goats... like this.
Yeah!
You try.
both: Yeah, uh...
- We'll work on it later.
Now let's see your dance moves.
- I can't dance.
- What? Everybody can dance, man.
You just have to feel the music and move yo booty!
- Whoa! Ugh!
[gasps]
[shivers and grunts]
- Raspberry or yellow?
- That's it, Lincoln.
Come on, everybody!
Pre-show sing-along.
Sing it with me!
♪ Take my advice and don't be a mooch ♪
♪ Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch ♪
Speaking of smooch, just your type.
Get over here, bro.
There's nothing like falling in love at your first concert.
all: Oooh!
[dramatic choral music]
- That's it. We're done here.
- Dude,
I'm just trying to make your first concert unforgettable.
- All you're doing is embarrassing me.
Our sisters warned me about you.
- What are you talking about?
- They said you ruined all their first concerts
just like you're ruining mine now.
- Ouch. Message received.
If that's the way you feel, good night, Royal Woods Mall.
Luna Loud has left the building.
- Did I go too far? Clyde?
Clyde, what are you doing?
- My rock pose. I don't like confrontations.
- Clyde, line's moving.
- Hey, no cuts, kid.
- Back of the line, line-cutter.
- But that was our spot.
Come on.
[clock ticking]
We made it!
- Sorry, boys.
Smooch is officially sold out.
both: No!
- I can't believe we didn't get Smooch tickets.
- Psst, hey, kid.
Did I hear you say you needed Smooch tickets?
- Yes! Two, please.
We're in! - Yes!
[police siren blares]
- You're in, all right.
Incarcerated.
- Are those good seats?
- Buying scalped tickets is illegal.
Let's go, hooligans.
- Well, might as well practice my dancing.
- Oh, give it up, kid.
My hip can pop and lock better than you.
- Pipe down, Scoots,
or I'll add disorderly conduct to your speeding charge.
- I still can't dance, Lincoln.
- What does it matter?
We're not going to the concert anyway.
- Yo, little Loud.
What are you doing here?
- Bobby? What are you doing here?
- This is my new job.
Lori loves a man in uniform,
plus I'm learning a ton about police work.
Here are those chicken samples you wanted
from the food court, Captain.
- Great work, Santiago.
Now go do a stakeout at Wok of Art.
I think they're giving out egg rolls.
- Right away, boss.
- [chewing and gulping]
[clock ticking]
Boys, your mom's here.
both: What?
- Oh, my babies!
- Luna? I mean, Mom?
- You're lucky I answered the phone when the fuzz called, bro.
Officer, I'll take it from here.
- Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am.
- Your steaks, Captain.
- What the heck are you talking about?
Where are my egg rolls, son?
- You said to do a "steak" out, so--hey, Luna.
- You know their mother?
- That's not their mother. That's his sister.
Nice wig, by the way.
- Wig? - [giggles]
- Oh, snap.
[cell door closes]
- Sorry, bro.
I fought the law and the law won.
- I can't believe you came back for us.
- I've been thinking about what you said,
and you and the girls are right.
I do get a little crazy when it comes to first concerts.
- Why are they so important to you?
- 'Cause my first rock show changed my life.
It was Mick Swagger, summer of 7th grade.
The Gimme Swelter Tour.
Up until that muggy June night,
I didn't know who I wanted to be,
but the moment Mick and the boys took the stage,
it all started to become clear.
- ♪ It was a hot June night
♪ When she saw the light
♪ Up until then she didn't know what was right ♪
♪ She showed up at the show
♪ All confused and alone
♪ She had no idea what was about to unfold ♪
♪ Transformation
- It was like he was talking to me.
- ♪ A citizen of the rock and roll nation ♪
♪ Transformation
♪ Total mutation
- It was in that moment I realized
I was Luna Loud!
Stage dive!
[crowd cheers]
♪ ♪
- Wow, I had no idea.
- I know it's only rock and roll,
but I like it.
- [weeping]
I'm sorry, that was just such a beautiful story.
You're right, kid.
First concerts are unforgettable.
And I can't let you miss yours.
Here, here's your tickets back.
Now get out of here.
- Mall Cop Captain, couldn't you see it in your heart
to let me spend my first concert with my sister?
A third ticket would mean a lot.
- Well, I just happen to have this other ticket
here in my pocket,
and since you did succeed earlier
in pulling at my heartstrings,
I would love for you to attend the show with your brother.
all: Rock and roll!
- You didn't have to do that, little brother.
- I know, but it wouldn't be a first concert without Luna Loud.
I'm sorry I said those things in the ticket line.
- It's cool, little bro.
And don't worry, I promise to be on my best behave.
- Okay, okay, enough.
Now get out of here, you crazy kids.
[cheering]
Ah, for those about to rock--
- Adios, mall cop!
- Bobby, we got a runner-- I mean a roller.
Cut her off at the food court.
- YOLO!
- Ah, come on.
Bobby, you can't just let a perp--
ooh, is that popcorn shrimp?
♪ ♪
- I can't see a thing.
Ugh, I thought my first concert was gonna be unforgettable.
- It could be, but I don't want to interfere.
- No, please, interfere.
- Okay, first up, we got to get to the front.
- Whoa, I can't cut in front of all these people.
- That's why they invented crowd surfing.
both: What?
- Whoo! This is awesome!
- Careful, guys. Cradle the neck.
- Enjoy the ride, dudes?
- Whoa, how did you get up here so fast?
- I have my ways. Now come on.
Pose it like you chose it.
- ♪ Smoochy smoochy
♪ Whoo
♪ Whoa whoa
♪ Wet and sloppy
- Boy, did my sisters have it wrong about Luna.
She's not nuts at all.
She's just really passionate about the things she loves.
And in the words of my favorite band,
sometimes you got to...
both: ♪ Grab life by the lips
♪ And give it a smooch
- That's my bro!
- Thanks for making my first concert unforgettable, Luna!
both: Rock and roll!
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
This one ended real great and all,
but I still can't dance, Lincoln.
- Hold tight, Clyde.
- ♪ Da da smoochity smooch
♪
- [shivers and grunts]
I'm doing it! I'm doing it!
- ♪ Give it a smooch
[upbeat rock music]