- ♪
♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪
♪ In the Loud house
♪ Duck, dodge, push and shove
♪ That's how we show our love
♪ In the Loud house
♪ One boy, ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
♪ Loud. House.
♪ Loud, Loud house
- [babbling]
- [dramatic music]
- NARRATOR: He was a humble farmer
until a drought ravished his land.
Now, he's found a new crop.
- [screaming]
- NARRATOR: Human organs.
He is The Harvester.
Opens this Friday.
- Uh-uh, Lincoln.
You are not seeing that movie.
It is too scary for you.
He pulls around a cooler full or organs.
- Mom!
- You know how you get.
You'll have nightmares.
You'll think something's out to get you.
You're just like your father.
- That is a total exaggeration.
On a completely different note that trailer
is never to be played in this house again. Yi-ih!
- Come on, mom. I'm not a baby.
I can handle it.
- MOM: No is my final answer.
- I'm fine not seeing The Harvester.
It looks way too scary.
And now we get to see the new Blarney movie!
- Blarney beanies.
Get your free Blarney beanies.
- Ooh! Free Blarney hats?
I'll take two.
- One is fine.
- Get your free Blarney beanies.
- It's not fair.
My parents think I can't handle a scary movie.
Oh, man! Rusty gets to see The Harvester?
That guy cried when a bird flew into the gym.
Maybe I should just go and not tell my parents.
It's not like they'll find out.
- You know, Blarney has a song about that, Lincoln.
♪ Every time you lie
♪ A leprechaun will cry
♪ A fib to mom and dad
♪ Well that's just twice as bad ♪
- Yeah, that decides it.
I'm going to The Harvester.
- Come on fellow Blarnadoons.
- [door slamming]
- [screaming]
- [indistinct chatter]
- Arrgh!
Please don't take my gallbladder!
- Guess I don't have to ask how the movie was.
- I had no idea a man in overalls could be that scary.
- I'd say "I told you so."
But, Blarney has a song about that.
♪ When someone is wrong
♪ Don't make a note
♪ The truest friend should never, ever gloat ♪
♪ Just 'cause you're the wiser [unintelligible] ♪
- I get it.
- You gonna be alright?
- My parents cannot find out that I went
to see The Har...har...har... you know.
That movie.
- Good luck, buddy.
If you need me I'm here 24/7.
But not on Channel two.
That's for Blarnadoons only.
Later.
- Hey, Lincoln. How was the movie?
- What? I didn't see the movie.
Oh, you mean the Blarney movie...which I did see.
- Oh, terrific. Hey, can you go get the ceramic pumpkins?
We're putting up the fall decorations.
- Sure, dad. Where are they?
- In the basement. - The basement?
- DAD: Yeah, in the far back corner by the light
that burned out.
You know, were Lana's snake went to die.
- [gulps]
- [door creaking]
- [switch clicking]
- Seriously?
- [stairs creaking]
- VOICE: I will get you.
- [screams] Who said that?
- I will get you--
- [toy squeaks] - --another cup of tea.
- Huh.
Get a grip, Lincoln.
It's just a doll.
[screams]
Ah! Urgh!
Ah!
The Harvester!
- DAD: Lincoln! Come back up.
I just remembered the pumpkins aren't in the basement.
- [door slamming] - They're in the attic.
- The...the attic?
- You know that far, far back corner
where there's no windows or light?
- [suspense music]
- [door creaking]
- Hey, Lola.
Want to go look for decorations in the attic with me?
- No way. It's creepy up there.
- How about you, Lucy?
You might find a bat.
- I know we will.
But none of them are vampires.
So what's the point?
- [floorboards creaking]
- Argh! The Harvester's got me!
Argh! He's got my sisters' colons
and they're still farting!
- LUAN: Lincoln!
Stop messing around with my whoopee cushions!
I mean, I know they're a gas!
[laughing]
- MOM: Lincoln, I just remembered
thoese pumpkins aren't in the attic,
they're in the garage.
- [suspense music] - [gulps]
- [owl hooting]
- I got hearts, kidneys and ears.
- The Harvester! Arrgh!
- Hearts of Romaine, kidney beans and ears of corn.
You never heard of a guy growing his own vegetables before?
- They're not...in the...garage.
- Oh, that's right, they're under the porch.
In that dark, claustrophobic crawl space
where the walls feel like they're closing in on you
the deeper you get?
- [suspense music]
- DAD: I'll just get 'em tomorrow.
Sorry to make you run around, kiddo.
- Phew.
- [toilet flushing]
- Well, better get to bed before mom and dad think
of any more infested places to send me.
You know, I think I'm doing better.
It's been a full 10 minutes since I've thought
about the har...har... you know who I mean.
- [light switch click]
- [gasp]
- [light switch clicking]
- MOM: Lincoln, enough!
Lights out.
Lincoln!
- [elastic snapping] - Grr!
- Hey, Lola, wanna watch some of your pageant videos?
- Ah! Okay...weird.
Why would you want to do that?
- Because I'm a huge fan
of youth-oriented, glamour-based competitions.
- Oh, cut the crud, Lincoln. What is up?
- Okay.
I saw a scary movie today and I'm afraid to be alone.
- Well just go sleep with mom and dad.
That's what I always do.
- Uh, that's not an option.
- Well neither is losing my beauty sleep.
Goodnight to you, sir. [snores]
- Hey, Lana-- - [animals growling]
- Never mind.
- Hey, Lori.
- Whatever it is, I'm busy.
- Too busy to give girl advice? - [gasps]
- Okay, question 63, what does "going dutch" mean?
And does it have anything to do with dutch ovens?
- Hmm. - [phone bleeping]
- [gasps] Session's over, Lincoln.
I have to talk to Bobby.
He started his new pizza delivery job tonight.
- BOBBY: Check it, babe.
I spelt your name with pepperonis.
That's coming out of my paycheck.
- That's 52-0, you...
- [snoring]
- Dang it.
- [owl hooting]
- LENI: [sighs] I don't get it.
If it's morning, why is it still dark? [yawns]
- It's, um...daylights savings time.
- [yawn] Well, I love savings.
- So, what do you want for breakfast?
- [door shuts]
- Leni!
- I'm late for school. Bye, Linky.
- Leni! Stop!
- [wheels squeaking]
- It's him!
With his cooler full of harvested organs!
- What's the matter, Loud?
Never heard of night fishing?
- Clyde, come in!
I really need somebody to talk to.
- Close your eyes, go to sleep.
Blarney helps you count the sheep.
- What happened to 24/7?
Who else could be awake right now?
- [door knocking] - Bobby!
Congrats on the new gig.
What do you say we celebrate by splitting this pie?
- I wish, bro.
I still got six more houses to hit.
Make that five.
- Thanks for staying up with me guys.
Hey, you cool with onions, Todd? No?
How are you going to grow into a real man
if you won't eat your onions, Todd?
It'll put hair on your chest.
- [whistling]
- [muffled shattering]
- You guys hear that?
Any volunteers to go check it out?
Oh, sure, you'll eat my pizza, but when I need something,
you sit there like a bunch of stuffed--
- [muffled bang] - [gasp]
- [stairs creaking]
- [sighs]
- I'm going to slice you right down the middle.
[evil laugh] - [gasps]
- No, on second thought maybe I'll just eat the whole thing.
- There's no such thing as The har...har...
...har...har...har...
[sighing]
Well that was the worst night ever.
But at least it's over.
- Honey, have you seen the cake I baked
for the school fundraiser?
- DAD: Pfft! No!
I didn't see your carrot cake.
- How did you know it was carrot?
- DAD: I...Lincoln! There you are.
- MOM: Sweetie, your father and I have been talking
and we think you're right.
You're not a baby anymore and it's time we stopped
treating you like one.
- DAD: Hey, look, if you say you're ready
to see that horror movie, we believe you.
- MOM: In fact, we bought three tickets.
We're going with you.
- DAD: [splurts drink]
- [glass shatters]
- Ooh! Look at these scary posters.
This is gonna be so much fun.
- DAD: Yeah. So much fun.
I can't wait.
- [gasps] Ah!
Argh!
Ah, the har...har...har...
- Lincoln, what's the matter?
- I can't do it.
Mom, Dad, I'm sorry.
I saw the movie yesterday, even though you told me not to.
And you were right.
I'm not ready.
I was so terrified I didn't sleep all night.
Please, don't make me watch it again.
- Well, I'm not happy you saw the movie
without our permission.
But, it sounds like you've been punished enough.
- I won't do it again, mom.
Now can we please go see Blarney instead?
- Sure, son. But, honey, we'll have to come back
because you know how much I love scary movies.
- [material ripping] - Argh! The Harvester!
Don't take my pancreas!
- What's the matter, Loud?
You never seen a guy open a bag of chips?
- MOM, DAD, AND LINCOLN: ♪ Every time you lie
♪ A leprechaun will cry
♪ A fib to mom and dad
♪ Well, that's just twice as bad ♪
- ♪