- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rousing orchestral music]
♪
- It's the day before Christmas,
and there's no better time to be in the Loud house.
- ♪ Christmastime is totally rad ♪
[thud] ♪ I want those gifts
♪ So I won't be bad
Ugh! Come on.
- Having trouble with this year's Christmas song, Luna?
- Bro, I'm stuck like Santa in a chimney.
[bell tings] Ooh! That's not bad.
♪ I'm stuck like Santa in a chimney ♪
♪ Been good all year so gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! ♪
Ugh! Rubbish! - I'll say!
Those lyrics make no frankincense.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
That's one! [bell dings]
My 12 puns of Christmas are off to a great start.
I've only gotta come up with 11 myrrh!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
[bell dings] Make that ten.
- [blows raspberry] - Hey, Lincoln.
Look! I just made the perfect Christmas outfit.
- Has anyone seen my plaid Christmas tablecloth?
- [shushes] - Oh, don't worry about
buying me a gift, Bobby Boo Boo Bear.
I mean, sure, it's our very first Christmas together,
and I'll probably remember what you get me
for the rest of our lives, but no pressure.
- Right. No pressure, Babe.
[chuckles]
[sobbing]
[festive orchestral music]
- Oops. Wrong ones.
Excuse me. This might take a while.
- Hey there, favorite big brother.
Allow me to dive into that pile of smelly, sweaty footwear
and find your winter bootsfor you.
[clattering]
[gasps]
Here you go, good sir!
Two big brother boots.
Boy, these are stylish.
- Okay, what do you want?
- To get a good haul from Santa.
See, contrary to popular belief, I am no angel.
So if I want to get on Santa's nice list,
I have 1 day to undo 12 months of naughty.
- You're wasting your time.
Factoring in sleigh speed, time zone changes,
and reindeer bathroom breaks, it's scientifically impossible
for this so-called Kris Kringle to deliver gifts
to the approximately 1 billion qualifying children.
As you can see, "X" equals "No stinking way."
- [grumbles]
You're lucky I'm being nice right now.
[Geo's hat bell jingles]
[jazz instrumental of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"]
[Walt wolf whistles]
[hammer pounding] - You know what I want
for Christmas? A bigger fireplace.
- What's that, Mom? I can holly hear you!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
That's three. [bell dings]
- [blows raspberry]
- Lily, are you stocking me?
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
That's four! [bell dings]
- See anything? - Nope.
- [grunts] - Looking for gifts
from Mom and Dad, huh?
Have you checked Dad's underwear drawer?
- Have we checked Dad's underwear drawer?
- Lincoln, please.
This is not our first rodeo.
- [sniffs]
- ♪ Dashing to the stove Hey, son!
You're just in time to try the crown jewel
of ol' Dad's Christmas Eve feast:
the figgy pudding!
[both coughing] [smoke alarm beeping]
- And ruin the surprise at dinner?
I don't think so.
- Look at Dad getting figgy with it.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Number five. [bell dings]
- Ah, I love the 12 puns of Christmas.
Luan, you wanna try my pudding? - Sorry, Dad.
Yule have to ask someone else.
Get it? Yule? That's six!
I just sleigh myself.
Ooh! Seven! [both laugh]
- Sleigh!
- Yup. Everyone around here
is full of Christmas cheer.
- Louds! What's that awful stench?
- Well, everyone except for our crabby old neighbor,
Mr. Grouse.
He really lives up to his name,
especially around Christmas.
- Louds! Turn down that annoying music!
Louds! Shut off all those horrible lights!
- Sheesh.
Well, I'm not gonna let Mr. Grouse
take away my Christmas cheer.
I've got a week off school, 10 inches of fresh snow,
and this guy.
The Fearsome Flyer 8000.
Or as I affectionately call him, "Big Red."
We've been waiting all winter
for the perfect sledding conditions.
So if you'll excuse us...
[shouts]
- Woo-hoo!
My reindeer net worked!
Sorry, Lincoln, I'm just getting ready for tonight.
I'm gonna catch one to keep as a pet!
[tires screech, car crashes]
[car horn blaring]
Woo-hoo!
My reindeer pit worked!
Uh, don't worry, buddy!
I got a winch!
- Now, where was I? Ah, yes.
It's just you and me, Big Red.
Let's do this.
Ha ha! Yeah!
Aah!
[suspenseful music]
♪
Nooo!
This is a disaster.
When stuff goes into Mr. Grouse's yard,
it never comes back.
- My yard, my property!
My yard, my property!
My yard, my property! [whip cracks]
- Well, I'm not letting Big Red suffer the same fate,
especially on the first day of vacation.
[straining grunt]
- Loud!
Take down that eyesore!
You're bringing down the property values!
- It's too risky to go in alone.
I'm gonna need backup.
[radio static] Clyde, come in!
- Hey, Lincoln. Just working on my mistletoe.
This year, I'm not gonna squander my one chance
to get a holiday smooch from Lori.
- I'm rootin' for you, buddy, but can it wait?
I've got a code six emergency!
- Oh, no! What went over the fence this time?
Was it Bobby?
- My yard, my property!
[uplifting music]
- Babe?
- Negative.
It was Big Red. - Nooo!
- Put on your snow boots. It's time to put
"Operation Scale the Fence and Retrieve Big Red
"Before Mr. Grouse Finds It and Takes It Into His House Forever
and also Think of A Shorter Name for this Operation" into action.
- Sorry. I got stuck in a turtleneck.
Can you repeat that? Never mind.
I'm on my way. [grunts]
[piano instrumental of "Deck the Halls"]
- [straining grunt]
- No presents for us under here.
- Dang it! Ugh!
- We could look in the basement.
How do you feel about lifting the water heater?
- Let's do this.
["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from "The Nutcracker"]
♪
- [sniffs] Ahh!
I don't think Mom will mind
if I just peel back the corner a little.
- Hold it! You are mistletoe-tally busted!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
That's eight. [bell dings]
- I can't help it!
The sound of the paper tearing,
the smell of the tape,
that moment when you stick the bow in your hair!
Give me that!
- You gotta kick this habit, Lori.
We don't want a repeat of last year.
[wrapping paper rustling] - [nervous laugh]
You guys got some great stuff.
You're right, Luan. I gotta fight this.
- Well, there's no time like the present!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
That's nine. [bell dings]
- I can be strong.
I will not open another gift
until Christmas morning. [doorbell rings]
- Delivery for Miss Lori Loud.
- "To Lori. Open immediately."
Ugh! Universe, you are literally testing me.
[clang]- Aah!
- Woo-hoo!
My reindeer cage works!
- Hey, guys!
Forget what I was wearing before.
This is the perfect Christmas outfit.
- Has anyone seen all my tinsel?
- [shushes] - Ooh!
I'm gonna tell! - No, no, no!
- Just ribbon ya!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
That's ten! [bell dings]
- Oh, Mother, you've done so much
to make this glorious holiday perfect.
Allow me to look for the tinsel, and after I find it,
I'll rub your tired, aching tootsies.
- Thank you, Lola. That's very nice of you.
- [gasps] Did you hear that, Santa?
She said, "Nice"!
- Wasting your time.
- Control yourself, Lola.
She's not worth it.
[door opens and closes]
[suspenseful music]
- Hey, Lincoln! - Aaah!
Oof! Clyde!
- I'm okay.
- I see you toned down the mistletoe this year.
- Yeah, I don't a repeat of last Christmas.
[jazzy romantic music]
Pucker up, my Christmas queen.
[hawk screeches] Aaaah!
[sighs] So, what's the plan?
- You'll go to the front yard and sing Christmas carols here.
When Grouse comes out to yell at you,
I'll hop the fence and grab Big Red here.
- Strategic genius!
One question. What's that?
- Ugh! Charles!
[Charles whimpers]
- Turtledove to Sled Man Walking,
I'm in position. - Copy that, Turtledove.
Commence caroling.
- [blows one note on kazoo] ♪ Me-me-me-me-me
[bells jingling] ♪ Dashing through the snow
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh... ♪
- Stop your off-key caterwauling!
- ♪ Laughing all the way - I don't care for carolers.
[suspenseful music]
♪
[clattering] Go on! Get!
What the Sam heck was that?
- ♪ Don't look in the yard
♪ There's nothing there to see
♪ Got lots of songs to sing
♪ So keep your eyes on me
Hey! Ugh!
- [gasps]
♪
- My yard, my property!
- [sighs]
I can't believe I lost Big Red.
- ♪ Merry Christmas, honey
♪ If you don't have a gift, I'll gladly take money ♪
♪ I wrote it down on my Christmas list ♪
♪ If I don't get my prezzies I'm gonna get-- ♪
- Louds! Knock off that racket!
- Clyde, do you see what I see?
- A star, a star, shining in the night?
- No. Mr. Grouse just left.
I can sneak into his house and get my sled back.
- What? You can't do that.
That's Mr. Grouse's property.
- But that sled is my property.
I'll just slip through the doggie door,
grab Big Red, and he'll be none the wiser.
- But what if you get caught and go to jail
and they only let family visit?
You know I haven't married Lori yet,
so the guards won't let me see you--
- Clyde! None of that's gonna happen
because you're gonna be my lookout.
[chain link fence rattles]
♪
I'm in. Just keep a lookout for Grouse.
- Don't worry. You can count on me.
I'm not going anywhere.
[screams]
- Yes!
My reindeer catapult worked!
Although, it might not be the best way to catch a reindeer.
- Now, where would I hide a sled if I was a grumpy, old sourpuss?
Big Red!
Whoa! Is that Mr. Grouse as a kid?
And is he holding a Fearsome Flyer 1000?
[door lock clicks]
[gasps]
[door lock clicks] - [teeth chattering]
[suspenseful music]
♪
[fingers crunch] [yelps]
♪
- Ooh, cold.
Aw, dang. All out of wood.
- [softly blows air]
♪
- Gotcha! - [screams]
[shattering] Big Red!
- Serves you right, you little thief!
- I'm not a thief! You're the thief!
You stole my sled and now it's broken!
- My yard, my property!
I'm calling your folks right now.
They'll straighten you out.
[phone rings and fades into background noise]
[hammer pounding] [laughter]
- [grunts] Yes! [Cliff yowls]
- No one's answering. Probably can't even hear
the phone over all that racket.
Till I reach your folks, you can clean up the mess you made.
- Why do you have to be so mean all the time?
I just wanted my sled back.
You of all people should understand that.
You had one too.
- Stop snooping and start sweeping!
[phone rings] Ah!
That's probably them. Get to work!
Hello? Oh, hey, Junie.
Sorry I didn't call back.
No, it doesn't look like I'm gonna make it back
for Christmas after all.
I'm sorry.
I know it's been five years,
but I just don't have the money to travel this Christmas.
Tell the girls Uncle Buddy says hi and loves them whole bunches.
I miss you too. [hangs up phone]
I thought I told you to clean up your mess!
- I didn't know you were from a big family.
- What's it to ya? - Well, it's just...
it must be hard not to see them at Christmas.
- Enough! Go on home.
- So you're not gonna tell my parents?
- Just leave me alone!
[somber music]
♪
[radio static] - Come in, Sled Man Walking.
Are you okay?
I'm sorry I compromised the mission.
One minute I was in your yard,
the next I was six blocks away.
I broke my mistletoe.
So long, holiday smooch.
- Sorry, Turtledove. Everything's okay here though.
Rescuing Big Red was a bust, but now I've got a new mission.
I'll call you back with the plan.
- Oh, Ghost of Christmas Past... - [laughs]
- Reveal to us where the presents are hidden.
- [gasps] What'd he say? What'd he say?
- You two definitely have the Christmas spirit!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! [bell dings]
That's 11!
[trap snaps] [Cliff yowls]
- Can't take it any longer!
Must open!
- Whoa, girl!
- Guys, can you chill?
I'm trying to write and I'm down to the wire!
Ooh! Maybe that's it!
♪ Down to the wire
♪ Santa's on fire
[grunts] I'm never gonna get this!
- Guys! [cacophonous overlapping sounds]
- Okay, forget that old rag I was wearing before.
This is the perfect Christmas outfit!
- What happened to the stockings?
Seriously, why does everything keep disappearing?
- [shushes] - Guys!
[cacophonous overlapping sounds]
- [laughs]
[tugboat horn blows] - Oh, Lily, you didn't!
- Hey, hey, hey!
I need a taste tester for my figgy pudding!
- Oh, whew! It wasn't you.
- I'll do it, Daddy! Your figgy pudding is always
the highlight of my Christmas.
You're seeing this, right, Santa?
- Truly pathetic.
- Mmm!
Figgy!
- Guys!
Would you just stop and listen to me for a second?
[noise ceases]
I was just in Mr. Grouse's house.
[overlapping indistinct chatter] - That big meanie?
- He dresses, like, horribly. - He is literally awful.
- He's not that bad.
Well, he is, but now I think I know why.
[sentimental orchestral music]
And then he told me to leave.
- That is literally so sad!
- I can't believe he has a big family too.
- And he can't be with them? That's awful.
- Seeing all of us together must make him miss them even more.
- Usually, I'm impervious to human emotions,
but... [sobs loudly]
- No wonder he's such a grumpy-butt this time of year.
- How did we not notice this?
- Maybe because we've been so caught up
in the hustle and bustle of the holidays.
- Yeah, we were so worried about what we were getting.
- [puffs air] When we should have been worried
about what we were giving.
- And isn't that what Christmas is all about?
[bell tings] - [gasps]
Dudes! That's it!
No wonder I couldn't nail my song.
I've been going about it all wrong.
- We need to do something for Mr. Grouse.
girls: Yeah!
- But what can we do? - I have a plan.
Okay, the first thing we do... [trails off indistinctly]
[soft orchestral music]
♪
- [snoring]
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh - Huh? Who? What?
Can't get a moment's peace.
all: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
- ♪ I used to think that Christmas was ♪
♪ About the wish list filled with stuff ♪
♪ I never really needed anyway
[upbeat rock music]
♪ But as long as we're together ♪
♪ It's a holiday
all: ♪ It's not what you get, it's what you give ♪
♪ We've got the spirit clear and loud ♪
♪ Ditch the list, hug who you're with ♪
♪ 'Cause that's what Christmas is all about ♪
♪ It's what you give, not what you get ♪
♪ We've got the hard part figured out ♪
♪ This year will be the best one yet ♪
♪ 'Cause that's what Christmas is all about ♪
♪ Merry Christmas from the Louds ♪
♪ Louds!
- Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.
- We all chipped in and got you something.
- It's a bus ticket.
- So you can go see your family
for Christmas tomorrow.
- And since you can't be with them tonight,
we're bringing our family to you.
- How 'bout it, neighbor?
- Louds!
You've made this the best Christmas ever.
Thank you. I'd say you all landed
permanent spots on Santa's nice list.
- Even me? - Even you.
- Once again... [sobs loudly]
- Well, what are you waiting for?
Everyone inside!
[orchestral instrumental of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"]
♪
- There, Mr. Grouse.
Now it's not so gloomy in here.
- Yeah, you ruined it.
- Guys, I finally made the perfect Christmas outfit!
♪
It's not for me.
It's for Mr. Grouse.
You can wear it on your trip tomorrow!
- Well, thank you.
What happened to my curtains?
- [shushes]
- Chow time in five, people!
- Before we sit down,
there's something I'd like to say.
- Speech! Speech! Speech!
- Well, I know I haven't always been the friendliest neighbor,
and I'm sorry about that.
You've all given me so much tonight,
now I'd like to give something to you.
- We take checks.
[kids gasp] kids: All of our stuff!
[overlapping excited chatter]
- Plungey!
- I'm sorry your sled was broken.
- That's all right. It's only a sled.
I'm just glad we're friends now.
- Oh, Hare-bear,
isn't this the most wonderful thing you've ever seen?
- Now, Howie, remember what Dr. Lopez said about--
oh, forget Dr. Lopez!
This is the most wonderful thing I've ever seen!
[both sobbing]
- Clyde, you know what you're standing under, don't you?
[smooches]
Merry Christmas, Clyde.
- And to all a good night.
[shudders]
- Come on, everybody, sit! Dinner is served!
And save some room for the figgy pudding!
[overlapping excited chatter]
- ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪
all: Merry Christmas! [wrapping paper tearing]
[boxes clattering, toy squeaks]
- [plucks banjo]
[rousing orchestral holiday music]
- Well, that's all the Christmas presents.
Time to start decorating for Valentine's Day.
- Wait! I still have one more.
I saved the best for last!
[clattering] - Ah!
Merry Christmas, Babe.
- [gasps] Boo Boo Bear?
- I couldn't find anything good enough to buy you
for our first Christmas together,
so I decided to give you myself.
- Ahh! That's literally the perfect gift.
Oh! I got you a present too!
- I hope it's food and water.
- Santa sure was good to us this year.
all: Santa? - Ohh!
I thought you didn't believe in him.
- I didn't until I spied him leaving a present
behind the couch last night.
Behold! [all gasp]
- There is a present back here.
And it's addressed to Lincoln.
[wrapping paper tearing]
- Wow!
[all exclaim]
A Fearsome Flyer 1000?
[sentimental orchestral music]
♪
Hey, Mr. Grouse, thanks for the sled.
- Don't thank me, thank Santa.
Merry Christmas, Lincoln.
- Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse!
Well, another Christmas has come and gone,
but this year I got the best present ever: a new friend.
I think from now on things are gonna be
pretty different around here.
[upbeat orchestral music]
Ha ha! Yeah!
[screams]
[glass shatters]
- Loud!
- Maybe not that different.
♪
- Well, I guess that about wraps things up.
Yes! I did it!
That's 12! [bell dings]
Merry Christmas!
Aah!
- Woo-hoo!
I finally got one!
[upbeat festive rock music]
♪
[sleigh bells jingling]