- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud! House! Loud!
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat '50s music]
♪
- Well, it took 18 years, but the ol' jug of loose change
is finally paying off.
- I can't believe we've saved enough
for a luxury spa weekend.
I can't remember the last time we had
two whole days to ourselves.
- Summer of 98'. Clinton, the Spice Girls,
and Mark McGuire.
You think the kids will be okay?
I feel bad we aren't taking 'em.
- Oh, they'll be fine.
- We will not be fine.
Look at this place, you guys.
It's got a spa, eight different pools,
and a business center!
We are missing out on all of it!
- Yeah, and while Mom and Dad are living it up,
we'll be sucking in cat hair at Aunt Ruth's.
- Ooh. I call dibs on not clipping her toenails.
- Dang it.
- We're just gonna have to convince Mom and Dad
to take us with them.
- I know just the thing.
- Oh, it's so cute the kids are putting on a play for us.
- Yeah, yeah, do I have timeto pee?
Dang it.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Loud House theater production
of "Weekend at Aunt Ruth's."
[both meowing]
- Kitty-cat.
- Ugh!
This pudding expired four years ago.
- You waste that and it's litter box duty for you.
- One day later.
- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
to say farewell to our sister Luna.
If only her pudding had been as fresh as her jams.
- And now, another play entitled,
"Weekend at a Luxury Spa Hotel."
- What a beautiful business center.
- Sister, keep your voice down.
We must be respectful of other guests.
- Golly, our kids are so well behaved.
- And since we took them on this nice trip,
maybe they won't put us in a nursing home
when we're older.
- I take it you kids want to go to the hotel this weekend?
- Look, kiddos, this is the first chance
your mother and I have had to relax in a long time.
- But Dad, we'll be so good,
you won't even know we're there. We promise.
[upbeat music]
♪
- Lynn Loud, Sr., checking in.
- Welcome. Uh, just the two bags?
- Yep. [laughs] Just kidding.
Everything in the van, good sir.
[car horn blaring]
Thank you much.
Oh, I almost forgot.
There's more where that came from.
Okay, gang, your Mom and I are headed to the spa.
Now, we're trusting you to stay out of trouble.
[all talking at once]
Could've sworn I packed my feather fedora.
- [sarcastic] No! Oh, darn.
You look so good in it too.
[rock music]
- Race you to the bottom.
- Oh, it is on!
♪
- [laughs]
- Ugh! - What?
- [scoffs] What is taking so long?
If I don't get back to the room and get my phone,
I could literally die.
Ugh! Let's just take the stairs.
[baby babbles]
- What are you doing? - [screams]
Oh, hi, Lucy. I read somewhere
that this resort is haunted
by the ghost of the Footless Bellboy.
They say if you listen carefully,
you can still hear his stumps trying to deliver room service.
- Whoa, sign me up.
- Both elevators out? I'm on it--
[all grunt] - Oh, excuse us.
- Cute pin. Totes matches my dress.
- Excuse me, um, Fritz?
How am I supposed to get to my room
with the elevator broken?
- Ooh, heels and stairs?
You should def take a room on the first floor.
- Great. Can I get a key?
- Excuse me, Fritz? I'd also like a different room.
- Okay.
[bell dinging]
- I'm so sorry, but a private party booked
the entire massage facility.
- Might this "change" your mind?
Well, worth a shot.
I wonder what big-wig is in there.
[light jazz playing]
♪
- Less oil, sweetheart.
You're not marinating a chicken.
- Elevator repair, huh?
Bet that job's got a lot of ups and downs.
Sorry. Didn't mean to push your buttons.
[laughs]Get it?
[rock music]
- Let's go rage! - Let's do this.
- Ugh. Looks like I'll have to disinfect the pool.
Goodness knows what fungi await me in these waters.
♪
Gah!
[dramatic music]
- Papa Loud in the house!
- Might wanna close the pool, Fritz!
- If you don't fix this, will they give you the shaft?
[laughs]Get it?
- Please leave.
- [gasping]
Uh-oh. This isn't our floor.
[gasps]
- I can sense the Footless Bellboy's presence,
but he's not gonna show himself with all these lights on.
- I'm a step ahead of you,
but which one of these is for the basement?
- Try them all.
- [panting]
[grunts]
both: It's him!
[both grunt]
- I think our trip might be cursed.
- Don't say that. We still have the TV.
267 glorious satellite channels.
[pleasant music playing on TV]
[static]
- [sobs]
- [grunts]
[yelling]
[crash]
- [laughs]
- Well, on the bright side, at least the kids
haven't been causing any trouble.
- That's true. I haven't heard a peep from them all day.
[phone ringing]
- Yello!
- Mr. "La-ood"?
We've been getting some complaints about your kids.
- My kids? Wait,
you sound a lot like my daughter, Leni.
- You sound a lot like my dad, Dad.
- Ghost hunting? Elevator breaking?
Pool wrecking?
What happened to "you won't even know we're here"?
- You're all grounded to the room
for the rest of the weekend.
Your father and I would like to try
to enjoy some relaxation time.
- Well, I feel terrible.
- Yeah, from now on. we really have to behave.
[cell phone ringing]
- Bobby boo boo bear? It's literally been forever!
Hang on, let me go somewhere more private.
- Lori! We're grounded to the room!
- The balcony is the room.
- Well, I'm gonna hit the showers.
- Uh, Lynn?
- The bathroom is also the room.
- Fritz, break's over. Get down here.
- Leni, you can't leave.
- Do you want to tell my boss that?
- Ah!
[dramatic music]
[screams]
Uh, guys, little problem with the shower.
- I'm on it, sister.
♪
Hmm, I've never worked with this particular model before,
but I'm sure I can figure something out.
♪
- Wow, Lana, that was amazing.
- Here's my card. Referrals are welcome.
[both scream]
[dramatic music]
♪
- [giggles] No, you hang up first.
[giggles] No, silly, you.
[click]
Huh. I can't believe he hung up.
[groans]
Not again.
- That sounds like the thumps of the Footless Bellboy!
- This must be his stumping grounds.
You guys better shake a leg.
There's a ghost afoot.
[laughs] Get it?
- Are you done?
[pounding on the door]
- He must be trapped behind the air conditioner.
We need to free him.
[car alarm blaring]
- [gasps] - Gasp.
[pounds at the door]
[knocking at the door]
- Yo, what are you guys doing in here?
Fritz said this was our room.
- Well, Fritz was wrong. Bye now.
- Not so fast. Come on, boys!
[chuckles] - All right, let's rage!
[all cheering]
[rock music playing on boom box]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[phone ringing]
- Goo? - Yes, "La-ood" family?
This is Fritz at the front desk.
Could you please keep it down? We're getting some complaints.
- [babbles]
- Well, you sound just like my sister Lily.
all: Yah!
- [groans] - And stay out, you stinkers!
- [grunts] We must disinfect the area immediately.
Who knows where those hooligans have been?
[bird caws]
Gah! [bird caws]
[rock music]
- [groans] Thanks for locking me out,
you guy-- [screams]
[crash]
[both screaming]
- What is going on here?
- Ahem! Ahem! I'm sorry, "La-oods,"
but I have to ask you to leave.
- Our one chance at a relaxing weekend, gone.
Poof. - Oh, now, come on, honey.
We'll get that jug filled up again someday.
- Oh, you're right. Gotta stay positive.
In fact, here's the first nickel.
Oh! It was a button. It's hopeless.
[sobbing]
- We really blew it.
- Yeah, we gotta make it up to them.
- I have an idea.
- Not another one of your dumb plays.
- Okay. I have a second idea.
[upbeat '50s music]
- Mr. and Mrs. "La-ood,"
welcome to your very own luxury spa hotel.
- Amenities include a hot tub.
- Complementary dry cleaning.
- Room service.
- And free in-room massage.
- Oh, what are you do-- [screams]
Actually, that feels great.
- We want you guys to have the weekend you were expecting--
the weekend you deserve.
- I can't believe you kids did all this.
[car horn honking]
- Dudes, she's here!
- This time you truly won't know we're here, because we won't be.
We're going to Aunt Ruth's so you guys can really relax.
- Oh, how'd we get such thoughtful kids?
[upbeat music]
[tires screeching]
- Think we should have told them why we really got kicked out?
[both laughing]
- Marco! - Polo!
- Well? Care to explain?
- What say we just forget about this?
- That's a button, pal.
- Eh, we'll tell 'em when they're older.
Race you to the hot tub!
- [laughing] Oh, no you don't! - Come on, come on, come on!
[spooky music]
♪
- There you go, Mars, right next to your buddy, Earth.
Oh, watch out for Jupiter. He's full of gas.
- Hey, Lincoln. - Ah!
Lucy! You got blood all over my school project.
- Relax, it's fake.
Sigh. Unfortunately.
Hmm. Needs more molasses.
That'll give it just the right amount of ooze.
[doorbell ringing]
- Hey, Rusty. - Hey, Lincoln.
My parents are both at work
so I had to bring my little bro.
- No problem. Hey, Rocky.
Make yourself at home. - Thanks, man.
- Did you bring Uranus?
- Never leave home without it.
- Gasp.
- [sighs]
- Uh--
- What the--
- Mm. Sigh.
- I gotta pee.
- Bathroom's upstairs and down the hall to the left.
- Sigh.
- Hello?
- Sigh.
[dog grumbles]
Sigh.
I know he's not really my type,
but he's so-- what's the word my sisters use?
"Cute."
Don't worry, Edwin,
you'll always be my undead soul mate,
but until we're united,
it'd be cool to have someone to hang with.
You think I should just talk to him?
I knew you'd understand.
- I see you found my blood. - [screams]
- It's my new recipe--
beet juice, molasses, and cocoa powder.
Hmm, now it's got the ooze but not the splatter.
Hi, I'm Lucy.
Thought you might want a clean shirt.
Just to be clear, it's my brother's.
I would never wear something so offensively cheerful.
- Ah! [crash]
- Was that Rocky? Sorry, Lincoln,
you'll have to finish the project.
- What happened?
- I keep trying to talk to Rocky,
but every time he runs away from me.
What am I doing wrong?
- Well, what are you talking to him about?
- The usual stuff. Blood, bruises.
I didn't even get a chance
to show him my new embalming kit.
- You know, maybe he's just not into that kind of stuff.
- Then what is he into?
- I don't know him very well,
but he just seems like a regular, normal kid.
- Regular and normal. Hmm.
Regular and normal.
[door slams shut] - Lola!
did you take my Red Riot lipstick again?
- No, but someone took my perfume.
I bet it was Leni!
- Was not, but I'd like to know
who took my pink chiffon dress, Lori!
- Where do you get off? - You are literally the one
always stretching my sweaters out every time you borrow them!
- Fess up. - That's my scent,
I can't let people associate it with you!
- We can do this the hard way-- - Hang on,
I smell my perfume. [sniffs]
Lynn! You better not be using
my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads!
[all gasp]
- What are you doing?
- I-I-I-I thought if I could be more "regular and normal,"
Rusty's brother Rocky would like me.
Sorry I took your stuff. I understand if you're mad.
- You're darn right we're mad!
Mad you didn't let us help!
- Yeah! We've been wanting
to give you a makeover since, like, birth.
- I've been working on this Lucy vision board
for years!
Until now, it was just a fantasy.
- Guys, it's literally happening!
Lucy's finally ready!
- Will this hurt?
[all talking at once]
- Oh. all: Too peppy.
[all talking at once]
Too poofy.
[all talking at once]
Too "princess-y."
[all talking at once]
Too...
[new wave music]
Perfect!
- Hmm. I can live with this.
What do you think, Fangs?
- Ew! Ew! No more bats.
- Yeah, and do not talk about mortality.
- Or death.
- Or ask him his blood type.
- Or suggest a cemetery for a date.
- And make sure you laugh at all of his jokes.
Like this.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha.
- Oh, and talk about sports. Guys really dig that.
- If all else fails,
try a little of my patented pizza spray,
scientifically proven to attract eight-year-old boys.
[all coughing]
- Gag.
- Note to self-- go lighter on the anchovies.
[cat screeches] - Ah.
[cat screeching] - Ah!
Ah!
Who was that?
- The new and improved, regular and normal Lucy.
- AKA, the future Mrs. Rocky.
- So that's how you're helping Lucy?
I don't know, guys, that seems like a really--
- Oh, please, as if a male would have
any insight into matters of the heart.
- You just get Rocky back here, bro.
- How am I supposed to do that?
- Get Rusty to bring him.
Don't you guys have more work to do on your project?
- Nope, all finished.
- Not anymore.
- So, the dog did this?
- Uh, yup. Bad Charles.
[dog whimpers]
[new wave music]
♪
- OMG, Rocky. It's totes great to see you.
- Um, who are you?
- I'm Lucy.
- Oh, uh, I didn't recognize you.
- You can't make it to mini-golf?
But we already bought four tickets.
- Oh. Uh, right. Um, maybe we should...
invite two other peopleto come.
- [gasps] What a great idea.
Anyone? Lucy?
- I'm supposed to meet my girlfriends at the mall,
but...YOLO.
- Oh. If only there was another guy
to round out the foursome.
- You're free, right, Rocky?Great!
♪
- Any of you other ladies looking for a date?
♪
- Just follow my lead, and remember,
regular and normal.
Oops. [giggles]
Boo Boo Bear, what am I doing wrong?
Can you help me?
- But, babe, you're on the varsity golf--
Ow! I mean, sure, babe,
I'll help you. Okay, just square your shoulders
and follow through.
- Oops. - Ow!
What was that for?
- I thought, uh, um, uh,
how about that baseball team
that played the other night?
- Ooh. [chuckles] Great shot, Boo Boo Bear.
[laughs]
- That one's for you,babe.
- Aw! [giggles]
- Ooh. Great shot, Rocky Bear.
- What? I totally shanked it.
My ball went down a rain gutter.
- Ha ha. Ha ha. You're so funny.
- Ah!
- Good shot, bro.
- Ooh, this hole is creepy.
Right, Lucy?
- Whoa, the Freilich 2000 with crushed velvet interior.
I've only seen these in catalogues.
- Lucy, no, no, no.
[whispering] Regular and normal.
- Ahh!
[strumming guitar]
[door opening]
[all talking at once]
- Tell me everything! Tell me everything!
- Are you totes in love?
- No, we are totes not.
- Lucy, wait.
We're sorry we pushed youso hard.
all: Sorry.
- We got a little too excited when you said
you wanted to be normal and regular, like us.
But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud.
You're perfect just the way you are,
and we love you.
- Sigh. There's no need to apologize.
I know you were just trying to help,
and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go sit in the dark.
That always cheers me up.
- Well, lesson learned.
You can take the girl out the coffin,
but you can't take the coffin out of the girl.
- Well, Edwin. Rocky doesn't like me as myself.
He doesn't like me as a regular, normal girl.
He just doesn't like me. Sigh.
I was a fool to think it could ever work with a mortal being.
- Poor kid.
- Fangs, bedtime.
- Ah!
Dang it.
There we go. Now, as long as we keep it
far away from your house, we should be done.
Ah! Rocky! You're bleeding!
[screams]
- Don't worry, man. Rusty faints all the time.
- Yeah, but are you all right?
- Oh, yeah, this is fake blood.
- Why would you have fake blood?
- I saw Lucy making it at your house
and it seemed kinda cool, so I thought I'd give it a try.
Anyway--
- Oops.
- Wha--what happened?
- Uh, you fainted and broke our solar system.
- Aw, man!
- That's okay. We can fix it at my house.
I have an extra Jupiter.
- Your house?
- Well, our project isn't any safer here.
- I guess you're right.
Come on, Rock, let's roll!
- Done. Form a protective perimeter.
- Hey, Rocky, grab us some sodas from the kitchen, will ya?
- Ah.Oh. Hi.
- Uh, hi. You changed your hair back.
Yeah, the blonde wasn't really me.
I was trying to be regular and normal,
but I think I'm just gonna be myself.
- I'm really glad to hear that.
- Thanks. Well, see you later.
Wait, you are?
But when we first met, you kept running away.
I thought I freaked you out.
- To be honest, I thought you were too cool for me,
and I couldn't think of anything to say,
so I just ran.
- Hey, uh, my coffin collection's
in the basement. Wanna check it out?
- Sure. That'd be really fun.
As long as I don't have to get in one.
- Deal.
- Can we stop? I'm feeling faint.
Easy.
Ah! Watch the pothole!
- It's okay, Rusty. We spent all weekend on this,
we're not gonna drop it now.
both: Hey, guys. both: Ah!
- Phew! Good save, man.
- Sorry we scared you.
- We just wanted to tell you we nailed the fake blood recipe.
- We also threw in a few popcorn kernels
for brain matter.
- Ah!
- Dang it.
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house