- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rock music]
♪
[crickets chirping]
- [snoring]
[static] Ah!
- Slumberjack, come in. It's Night Owl.
Slumberjack, do you read me?
- Clyde?
- Sorry about the late hour,
but I have the best news ever.
- Lori found the book of poems you wrote about her
and realized she's in love with you?
- Okay, second-best news ever.
My dads are having another baby. - [gasps]
- I'm going to be a big brother. - Clyde, that's amazing.
Did they just tell you? - Well, not exactly.
But I've been noticing clues for a while.
[whistling]
Baby clothes?
[jazzy bass music]
Baby bottles?
Come on, Cleopawtra.
- There, can't be too safe with a little one on the loose.
- [gasps] That reminds me, we need to secure loose cables,
and cover the outlets, and lock up the cleaning supplies.
- So it was pretty clear what was going on,
but I wasn't positive until about five minutes ago.
- Well, Howie, I think our home is ready,
but what about our hearts?
Do we really have room
for another little bundle of joy?
- Of course we do, Harebear. [gasps]
I cannot wait to surprise Clyde.
- Being a big brother is the most important job
I'll ever have, apart from being Lori's soul mate.
I need to make sure I'm ready for it.
- You woke up the right guy, Clyde.
I've got the big brother thing down to a science.
Why don't you spend a day shadowing me
so you can learn firsthand?
- Sweet! I'm on my way!
- Love that enthusiasm, Night Owl,
but it's 1:00 a.m.
- [laughs] Right.
See you at 9:00, Slumberjack.
- Sleep well, Night Owl.
[jazzy music]
Okay, Clyde, allow me to introduce...
Lincoln Loud's three Cs of big brothering:
confidence, caring,
and when all else fails,
cookies!
- Snickerdoodles. My favorite!
- Ah, ah, ah. Those aren't for us.
Now, time to start my rounds
so you can observe the three Cs in action.
♪
- [wailing] - Hear that?
First big brother cue of the day.
- [wailing] - First up, confidence.
Don't worry, Lily. Your big brother's here to help.
Let's get a look at that thumb of yours.
- [whimpering]
- Just what I thought, a boo-boo.
This calls for caring.
Aw, I'm sorry you got such a bad ouchie,
but we can make it better.
- [cooing]
- Wow, you didn't even need a cookie.
- Cookie?
- Sometimes it's safer to spell.
- Lana!
Stop it! - Make me!
- Sounds like a twin fight.
This should be very educational.
[grunting and smacking]
All right, Clyde. What do you think we need here?
- Um, confidence?
[smacking]
- What seems to be the problem?
- Lana's supposed to be guarding
my princess tower, not attacking it!
- Now, Lana-- - Ah, guarding is boring!
Attacking is cool.
[grunting]
- Clyde, any guesses?
- Um, caring?
- I think I know a compromise that will make you both happy.
[dramatic music]
The evil troll's attacking your tower.
Rawr! both: Get him!
♪
- Nice, and once again,
you didn't need the C-O-O-K-I-E-S.
both: The troll's got cookies!
[all grunting] - I saw them!
- Another tip... [grunting]
Six-year-olds can spell. [grunting]
- I need-- - Cookies!
- Elder brother, I require your assistance.
- What can I help you with, Lisa?
Lab explosion? Nuclear crisis?
- No, I have a hankering for a PB&J.
- Coming right up.
- I can isolate uranium,
but they won't let me use a butter knife.
Also, I like the way Lincoln makes my sandwiches.
- Here you go, easy on the jelly, crusts cut off,
and sliced into four right triangles for optimum mouth fit.
- Thank you. Technically, they're isosceles,
but I'm not gonna bite the hand that feeds me.
- Ah! - Hey, Lincoln.
Could you help me with a poem for school?
I need a rhyme for "tomb."
- Hmm. "Gloom"? "Doom"? "Powder room"?
- I knew I could depend on you.
[sniffs] Do I smell snickerdoodles?
- It's a real pleasure to watch a master at work.
- Eh, I've had a lot of practice.
- Give it! - No! You give it!
- You ready to get some practice too?
- Heck yes!
[dramatic music]
[grunting and smacking]
Okay, Clyde. Confidence.
Um, hey, guys, do you think you could just--
[grunting and smacking]
[crunch] Ah! That was my foot!
[grunting and smacking]
What seems to be the problem here?
- You? Where's Lincoln?
- I'm temporarily filling in for him
and would be happy to help you settle your differences.
- Lisa stole my best rat, Bitey!
- Who's Bitey? This is Subject 57A.
- Ah!
Uh, well, you both seem attached to it,
and I want to be fair--
Ah! - Hey, Clyde, I need advice.
How do you know you've met your soul mate?
- Oh, uh, wow.
That's some serious stuff.
How much time do you have?
- Lincoln!
Clyde! Help me choreograph my ribbon dance!
- Hold on a sec, Lucy.
Did Lincoln even go over ribbon dancing?
- [whimpers] Boo-boo.
- Just another minute, Lucy. Hang on, Lola.
Whoops.
- [wailing] - No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
It's all okay. Shh. Shh.
Ah! - [wailing]
[all shouting at once]
- [struggling]
Just take the cookies!
[all gasping]
- [squeaks]
[dramatic music]
- Clyde! What happened?
- L-L-L-L-Lori?
[moans]
- Whatever.
[suspenseful chimes]
- Clyde. Talk to me, buddy.
What happened back there?
- [sighs] I failed at the three Cs.
- What? How is that possible?
You're the most caring person I know.
And you make great cookies.
- It's the confidence I'm struggling with.
What if I give bad crush advice,
and my future sibling gets their heart broken?
Or what if I can't choreograph a ribbon dance,
and they drop out of school
and start holding up convenience stores?
I'm going to be a terrible big brother!
- Clyde, you're spiraling!
You can do this.
Just get out there and try again.
- I can't, Lincoln!
I don't have the confidence you do,
and I never will.
- It's okay, buddy.
How about we just forget the whole
training thing and play some video games?
- That sounds great.
- I'll just go grab us some snacks.
- Lincoln? - Ah! Sister!
I mean, hi, Lisa.
- I require assistance securing my shoestrings.
- Aren't you a certified genius?
- Yes, which is why there is no room
in my brain for such trivialities.
Thanks, Clyde.
You're a lifesaver.
- Where's Lincoln? - Ah!
I mean, you might want to try the kitchen.
- What's a long walk. I need a rhyme for "Lori."
- Really? Well, I've got about a hundred.
"Story," "glory," "Montessori"...
And "inventory."
Now, those are just the ones in English.
- Thanks, Clyde. You're a lifesaver.
[horn beeps, tires squeal] - Where's Lincoln?
I need him to show me how to buckle my seat belt.
- Oh. Well, that's simple enough.
Why don't I show you?
Just insert the metal fitting into the buckle
and pull tightly across your waist.
To release, simply press the center button.
[seat belt clicks] - Oh!
I never could have figured that out.
You're a lifesaver, Clydey.
[tires squealing]
- You--you want me to read to you?
Um...
"And Z is for 'zucchini.' The end."
- [giggling]
- Hey, Lincoln! Guess what!
I think I have the missing C now.
Lincoln? - Okay.
I did the damsel in distress act.
Now where's my 5 bucks?
- Yeah, pay up.
- I should be doubly compensated
for having to act like such an ignoramus.
- You staged that whole thing?
- Clyde! I can explain.
I was just trying to boost your confidence.
- I think I should go.
- Clyde, wait!
- [cooing]
- Clyde! Help!
I can't get down!
- You can save the act, Lana.
I know Lincoln's paying you to do this.
- What are you talking about?
Bitey and I are really stuck,
and I think he's afraid of heights.
And maybe I am too.
- It's okay, Lana. Don't be scared.
I'll rescue you!
You guys doing okay?
I know what it's like.
One time, I got stuck on a diving board.
And a step stool.
- Yay!
- Here. You've earned it.
- I don't know what I would have done without you, Clyde.
Oh, you're a real lifesaver!
- Clyde. I thought you left.
Look, I owe you an apology-- - It's okay, Lincoln.
I finally got my confidence, for real this time.
I got to go tell my dads I'm ready to be a big brother.
- Good luck, buddy. You're gonna do great.
- Lisa! Move your big butt!
- Move your own oversized posterior!
- Ah, a big brother's work is never done.
- Clyde, honey, we have something to tell you.
- I already know what it is. We're having a baby,
and I'm gonna be a big brother, and it's gonna be great,
'cause Lincoln taught me the three Cs,
and I can't wait to start baking cookies and--
- Clyde, you're spiraling. - And did you say "baby"?
- Yeah, I saw the bottles and the clothes,
and I heard you guys talking.
- I'm afraid there's been a bit of a mix-up.
Your dad and I haven't been preparing for a baby.
- We've been preparing for...
a kitten!
Meet Cleopawtra's sister, Ne-purr-titi!
We finally got to bring her home from the shelter today!
- Wow, she's perfect!
And just so you guys know, if you ever do decide
to have another human child,
I'm totally ready for it.
- We'll be back in an hour.
You okay keeping an eye on the kitties?
- I've got the three Cs:
caring, confidence, and cat treats.
[cats yowling]
Whoops, guess I should have spelled that.
[rock music]
♪
- [whistling]
- Sorry, bro. Kitchen's off-limits.
Lori's in there cooling off.
She and Leni had a major throwdown.
- Yeah, sad story, but I'm hungry.
- Fear not, male sibling.
You should be able to satiate your appetite
by foraging under the couch cushions.
See what I scored?
- Ooh, an everything bagel.
- Mm, correction: a plain bagel...
with lint, dog hair, and-- [gasps]
gadzooks, is that a booger?
- Ah, do not eat the "couch bagel."
- Sorry, bathroom's off-limits.
Leni's in there cooling off from the fight.
Here. Use this. - A bucket? [gulps]
- Don't knock it till you try it.
[grunting and smacking]
- Sorry, TV's off-limits.
- Oh, come on! Why?
- Lori and Leni are on edge.
You watching a monster truck rally is not going to help them.
- This is ridiculous--what are they even fighting about?
[all talking at once]
- Guys, guys, guys.
Check out this dress I found at the mall.
It's literally one-of-a-kind. Yay!
all: Ooh!
- O.M. gosh, you guys!
Look at this dress I found at the mall.
[all gasp]
Ooh, when did we put a mirror in the living room?
- That's not a mirror. That's me!
Now go take your dress back. - What? No!
You take yours back!
[both growling]
[all whistling]
- That's it? You got to be kidding me.
Clyde and I wore the same shirt on picture day,
and we didn't care.
- It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand.
- Well, let's go help them work it out
so we can have our house back.
Oof! - Negative.
In this family, we have a sister fight protocol:
butt out and let them resolve it on their own.
- Yeah, well, I have a protocol too,
which is I don't like pooping in a bucket.
[sighs] Hey, guys.
Now look, I know you've been having a little problem--
- Lincoln-- - But I think I can settle this.
- Lincoln-- - Leni, why don't you
just return the dress? Lori once said
blue makes you look washed-out anyway.
- Wait, what? - Okay, okay.
I'm just spitballing here.
Lori, why don't you return the dress?
Leni says taffeta makes you look like Aunt Ruth,
and who wants that, am I right?
- [gasps] Excuse me?
- So what do you say? Ready to hug it out?
- We already hugged it out. We were fine.
But now that I know that she
thinks I look like Aunt Ruth, we are definitely not fine.
- You insulted my skin tone.
Nothing's gonna make that right.
You knew I can't tan! - You literally betrayed me!
- How could you say that?
[both screaming at once]
[muffled screaming]
- Ah!
- Oh, nice job, Lincoln.
We told you to stay out of it.
- I look good in every color! - You're ruining my whole life!
- Based on rising decibel levels,
I'm upping the threat level in the house
from Thunderstorm to Hissing Cat.
Sisters, to your stations.
- Uh, what's going on? - Let us handle it.
- Ah! - Scram, dude.
We need your room. - What? Why?
- Lori's approaching the sector,
and we can't risk a run-in with Leni.
[militaristic music]
- Coast is clear, brah.
- Copy that. You may proceed.
♪
[beeping]
♪
- Abort. Abort. Leni's headed back up.
- Ah!
- Lincoln!
Make like a drum and beat it.
[laughing] Get it? But seriously, out.
- Ah!
[sighs]
- And then Mort realized he was drinking regular,
not decaf! [laughing]
- Dinner was delicious, Mom.
- Thanks, sweetie.
- Yeah, thanks, Mom. I am stuffed.
- Well, I hope you saved room for dinner.
- Wait, what?
- Sister fight protocol: Lori and Leni dine separately.
- And we have to eat with them both,
so they don't think we're taking sides.
- And then Mort realized he was drinking regular,
not decaf! [laughing]
- [laughing]
- [whistling] - Hey, what gives?
What happened to my sheets and blanket?
- Sister fight protocol: we used them
to make a divider in Lori and Leni's room.
- Well, what am I supposed to sleep under?
- Try this. - Ah!
- [laughing]
- All right, that's it!
- Lincoln, what are you doing?
Guys, we have a situation.
[dramatic music]
[both gasp]
- I'm done with this!
You guys and your stupid fight
have ruined the whole day.
It's time to get over it and make up.
- Lincoln, this has to run its course.
Sister fight protocol. - Forget sister fight protocol!
- Well, I'm not sleeping in here with her.
- I'm not sleeping in here with her either.
- Fine--Luna, you sleep in here tonight.
Leni sleeps in your room.
- Works for me. - Me too.
♪
- You're playing with fire, bro.
[all agreeing]
- Listen, by tomorrow, Lori and Leni will have cooled off,
and you'll be thanking me.
[whistling]
- [babbling]
♪
- [yawns]
Hmm. Peaceful.
Sounds like good ol' Lincoln saved the day.
- Just admit you're wrong! - You're wrong, dude!
- Or not. [sighs]
Wait a minute, that didn't sound like Lori and Leni.
- Lori had the dress first.
She told me the whole story last night.
- Well, Leni told me her side,
and she clearly had the dress first.
- Ha! That's funnier than most of your lame jokes.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
I've gone partially deaf from your horrible guitar playing.
- Guys, guys. [both growling]
- Sister fight protocol: divide and isolate.
- You're paying for new shocks, Lincoln.
- This room is now off-limits.
- Come on-- why is it always my room?
- Congratulations, elder brother.
Thanks to you, the threat level
is now at Stampeding T-Rex.
- Stampeding T-Rex? No!
We'll ride the storm out in here.
- Did you remember the bucket? - Dang it.
- Commencing T-Rex protocol.
I've got Big L and we're on the move.
- Roger that.
- We're headed for the red zone.
- Copy that. We're headed for the green zone.
[all growling]
- Lola, what are you doing?
This is the red zone!
The door is red! - Uh, hello?
The carpet is green!
[all shouting at once]
[dramatic music]
♪
- Here you go, Mrs. Loud. - Thanks, Bobby.
Just the large pepperoni for us.
You can deliver the rest to the front door.
- Do I have to? Lori told me
the threat level is at Stampeding T-Rex.
- Just ring the doorbell and run!
- Ooh, good call, Mr. L.
- Okay, first seating will be Leni, Luan, and Lana.
- Roger. Copy that.
- Gasp. What are you doing?
You're supposed to be watching Lori, Luna, and Lola.
- Can't I have a break?
I've been working for nine hours.
- So have I, and you don't see me complaining.
- Oh, yeah, 'cause you're always such a ray of sunshine.
- At least I don't smell like crusty athletic socks.
- Please, like Eau De Death is better!
- Oh, boy. Here we go. [both shouting]
We are now at Erupting Volcano, people!
- Enough with your dumb chart!
- How would you like to eat that hat?
[all shouting at once]
[grunting and shouting]
- Hey, guys.
[grunting and smacking]
Clyde, come in. - Hey, Lincoln. What's up?
- Is your trundle bed available?
- Is it for you...or Lori?
- For me, Clyde! Duh! Sorry buddy.
I'm a little stressed.
We're at Erupting Volcano over here.
- Say no more.
- And the next thing I know, they're all fighting!
- Interesting, and how did that make you feel?
- Clyde, what are you doing?
- When I take my problems to Dr. Lopez,
this is how she helps me.
- Okay, okay. Anyway, I feel frustrated.
Their ridiculous sister fight protocol
only makes things worse.
If they'd just let me help them,
I could fix everything.
- I see. So what do you plan to do?
- I'm gonna march back in there tomorrow
and talk some sense into those girls.
- That seems sensible. [watch beeping]
Hmm, I see our time is up.
- What? Can't I stay over?
- Oh. I'm sorry.
I'm so used to hearing Dr. Lopez say that.
[suspenseful music]
- Okay. Here goes.
Attention, Loud sisters!
I am here to resolve your conflicts.
Please remain calm. I am coming in.
♪
[pleasant music]
What's going on? What happened to the fighting?
- Pfft, we're over that. We made up.
- All of you? - Correct.
Threat level is back to Field of Daisies.
- Oh, thank goodness! - I don't understand.
How did you fix everything?
- No, Lincoln. You fixed everything.
- Me? How? - By leaving.
- We told you, if you just butted out,
we'd resolve it on our own. - But the dress--
- I came up with the perfect solution.
Lori gets to wear it on the days that end in Y,
and I get to wear it the rest of the time.
- And once they made up, the rest of us made up.
- Huh, well, I guess I've learned my lesson:
always respect the sister fight protocol.
- Glad you're finally getting it.
- Oh, I totally do, believe me.
Next time Lynn says she needs
a windshield wiper when Lisa talks,
or Lana says Lola snores like Pop Pop,
I am staying out of it.
- You said what now, sporty?
- Oh, I snore, do I?
How can you hear me over all your sleep-farting?
- Whew, can't wait to use the real toilet.
[all shouting at once]
Ah! Retreat! Retreat! - Wait for me!
[all shouting at once]
[banging and crashing]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house