- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[exciting music]
♪
[tires screech]
- I am so glad we signed up
for those ballroom dance classes.
- Me too.
One tango lesson and I am a pro.
Ba-rat-ta-ta-ta-ra-yah!
[thud]
- Ow, ow, thorns!
- Doh! Oh, sorry, sorry! I'll get the first aid kit.
[keys jingle]
[groans] Those darn kids!
[door bangs]
I have told you guys a million times,
you got to lock the doors at night!
- Come on, Pops. What's the big whoop?
- Oh, I'll tell you what the big whoop is.
There've been some burglaries in the neighborhood,
and I don't want us to be next.
So please, just...lock... the...dang...door.
It's not that hard!
- Uh...honey?
- Listen, guys, Dad's right.
We need to start acting responsible,
or we're gonna lose all our stuff.
- I don't want to lose my ax!
[sneaky music]
- I don't want to lose mine either!
♪
- I don't want to lose my soul mate.
♪
- And I don't want to lose mine either.
[laughing]
- I don't want to lose my life's work.
♪
- I don't want to lose mine either.
♪
- Well, if we want to protect our stuff,
locking the door isn't enough.
We got to lock this place down!
sisters: Yeah! We do!
- Ga-ga!
[siren wails]
- State your name and business.
- Bobby? What's going on?
- New security measures.
Lori asked me to protect Casa Loud.
So come on, Clyde. Name and business.
- Sure. But wait, you just said my name.
- Do we have a problem here?
- It's okay, Boo Boo Bear.
I'll vouch for him.
Go ahead, Clyde.
- Thanks, L-L-Lori.
She vouched for me.
[hyperventilating]
[horns blare] [alarm wailing]
- Ah! Splendid.
My motion sensors are working perfectly.
[laser humming]
- Ahh! [thwack]
- Excellent.
My staircase ramp is also working.
Now to check the alligator pit.
- Noooo! [bell ringing]
[noir music]
Agent McBride reporting for duty.
- Welcome to the command center, McBride.
Anything goes down in Royal Woods,
we'll be the first to know about it.
- Coffee? - You read my mind.
[both slurping]
[coffee splashing]
I'll go get us some juice...
and some napkins.
[radio static crackles] - Attention, all units.
We've got an 11-25 at 7 Mile and Oak.
- An 11-25? What's that?
- "Failure to pick up dog poop."
- This used to be a nice town.
- Uh, what's going on?
- Brother, if you have valuables to protect,
you can store them in the safe room.
- Why is the bathroom the safe room?
- Because of the cameras I installed last year.
- You installedcameras?
- No-o-o.
- I think it's the perfect place to dump our stuff.
[laughing] Get it?
- Whoa, toots.
You're leaving me locked in here
with Count Creepy?
- Ugh, please.
Edwin's the one who should be complaining.
- O...kay.
- It's the burglar!
[suspenseful music]
- Leni, what's your first move?
- Heyyyyy.
So, like, how long have you been burgling?
- What are you doing?
- Breaking the ice! He's cute.
[camera snaps]
- Ugh, okay.
Lola, this burglar just stole your tiaras.
- Hi-yah! [punches landing]
- Lola! I think he liked me!
- [gasps] The burglar!
♪
- Chill, banana boy.
I'm training Charles to be a vicious guard dog.
I'm the burglar!
Attack, boy!
- [whimpers]
[snoring]
- Look! I'm stealing your food!
- [growls lightly]
- [chewing loudly]
Ugh!Charles!
Mmm, what is this, chipped beef?
- Got my dancing shoes on,
and I am ready to get down and get back up again!
Rat-ta-ta! Look-ah-oh.
[siren wails] - State your names and business.
Sorry, new security measures.
- You hear that, honey? New security measures.
I think I've really gotten through to the kids.
Thank you, Bobby!
- Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Loud, but before you go dancing,
I really do need your names and business.
- Uh, you just said our names and business.
- Dang it! I got to stop doing that!
- [snoring]
[radio static crackles] - Attention, all units.
We've got a 10-15 at 8 Mile and Lindbrook.
[bell rings] - 10-15! Oh, no!
I missed my curfew. - No, Clyde, that's a code.
[gasps]
You guys! They caught the burglar!
[all cheering]
- Oh, Donny!
We should've run off to Mexico
while we had the chance.
[tires screech]
- I tell ya, honey, one lesson in the hustle,
and I am a pro.
Rat-ta-ta-- Oh!
[thud]
- Why don't you hustle in and get me a towel?
[keys jingle] [drumroll]
- Oh, come on!
- Eddie baby! Call me! We'll do lunch!
What? He's spooky, but he's got a heart of porcelain.
- Guys, I just found the door wide open!
What gives? - Oh, we're sorry, Dad.
But we don't have to worry anymore.
They caught the burglar.
- That's peachy, son,
but there could be other burglars out there!
- Actually, Father,
based on Royal Woods' crime rates per capita,
that is statistically unlikely.
- Yeah, I've been listening to the scanner all day,
and the worst crime I've heard about
is someone not picking up their dog poop.
- Where? I'll pick it up!
- But, kids-- - Oh, calm down.
- Yeah, Dad. - It'll be okay.
- Why does nobody listen to me?
[dramatic music]
- Uh, honey?
- Off to dance class, kids!
Please keep the door locked while we're gone.
- Sure, I got it. - Get right on that.
- [sighs]
[engine turning over]
- Help! Help! I've been robbed!
♪
- Mr. Grouse! What happened?
- They cleaned me out! My polka records!
My black-and-white TV!
My encyclopedias! All gone!
♪
- I literally don't know what any of those things are.
- Dad was right. There are other burglars.
both: And our house could be next!
- Not if we have anything to say about it.
- Eddie, baby! I brought my pinochle deck!
♪
- You guys, I found a deadly spray
to use against the burglar.
See? "Fatal Encounter."
- Leni, that's a perfume sample.
- Siblings, I'm enhancing my security system.
I need a retina scan.
[scanner beeping]
I also need a stool sample.
- For your security system?
- Uh, sure, that's it.
[sizzling]
- Operation Grease Releaseis a go.
Let's get this baby upstairs.
- What do we do with all the bacon?
- That's a high-class problem to have, my friend.
- [barking] - Charles!
You're supposed to chomp burglar butts, not bacon.
[sighs] I should've trained the cat.
♪
[barbwire squeaking, shovel scraping]
- These will put a ro-dent in the burglar's plans!
[laughing]
Get it? They're mousetraps.
- [groans] - Really, dude?
- Ow!
- Hey, Bobby.
- My Roller Derby team is gonna help you patrol.
- Hmm. Do they have any policing experience?
- No, but they can do this.
[thud] - [groans]
You're hired.
[alarm blares]
[metal screeches]
- Good evening, parental units.
We are going to need to conduct a routine body search.
- What in the world is going on?
- Mr. Grouse got robbed. We had to beef up security.
- We used your credit card.
- Kids, I'm glad you're taking this seriously,
but you may have gone a little overboard.
- A little?
- We don't need all this security.
If we just lock the doors and windows, we'll be fine.
Now, everyone to bed.
- Okay, Dad. - If you say so.
- I'm still gonna need those stool samples.
[sneaky music]
♪
[knocking]
- Thanks for pretending to be robbed.
I think my kids really learned their lesson.
- I would have scared them for free,
but I'll gladly take your muffins.
♪
- Lock. Dad would be so proud.
[doorknob rattling]
- [groans]
[crickets chirping]
[grunting]
[yells]
[thud]
♪
- [gasps]
[bells ringing]
Battle stations, guys!
We've got a burglar on the premises!
[all gasp]
- Oh, my gosh, what do we do?
He's gonna take all our stuff!
- Get it together, woman!
- Thanks, I needed that.
But I'll get you back.
- [whimpers]
- Don't trouble yourself or anything, Charles.
- [whines]
♪
[air horn blares] - Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Eat hot bacon grease!
♪
Make that congealed bacon grease.
[bell rings]
[siren wails] Keep a tight formation, ladies.
This is what we trained for!
[punches landing]
- Wait, wait! I recognize those dancing shoes.
Off! Off!
all: Dad!
- I...was just taking a walk
and I got locked out.
- We're so sorry! - Sorry, Dad.
- We're so sorry. - Hey, Loud!
These muffins got walnuts in them.
Next time you want to pay me off for pretending to be robbed,
how about giving me something I'm not allergic to?
- Pretending to be robbed?
- Dad! - Our own father.
- You lied to us? - Bogus move, Dad.
- [sighs] I'm sorry, everyone.
I was just trying to teach you to lock the dang door.
I just want to protect my most important valuables...
you guys.
all: Aww!
- Okay, Dad, we'll lock the door.
- You're the greatest. - Love you.
- [whimpers]
[barks]
♪
[crunch] - Ouch!
- Finally!
[rock music]
♪
[birds chirping]
- Hold still.
Got it!
- Whoa! Great shot!
First mustache hair ever.
This one's definitely going in the "Lincoln Library."
- Lincoln library?
[jazzy music]
- Yep, it's the folder
where I keep all my cherished memories.
Check it out.
Here's me and Lynn in the bathtub.
Lori feeding me my first ice cream.
My first mechanical pony ride.
And now my first mustache hair--
[dramatic music]
Whoa! Where you going?
♪
[gasps] No, no, no, no, no!
Sto-o-op!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
[gasps] All my childhood memories
are gone!
- Don't worry, buddy.
This happened to me once,
but I got them all back.
My dads saved them in the cloud.
♪
- What do you think, Charles?
More cheese, less cheese?
- [barks] - You're right.
Always more cheese. - Dad!
Do we have the cloud?
- Well, of course we do, Lincoln.
- [sighs]
- We also have the sky and the sun and the moon--
- No, I mean the digital cloud,
where you store stuff from your computer.
- Oh, that cloud!
No.
- [whimpers]
I can't believe it-- all my childhood memories
gone forever.
- Let it out, buddy.
Dr. Lopez says, "The first step of healing
is to honor your feelings."
- No, no, no, no, no! Charles, bad!
I hate Mondays.
[sighs]
Guess I'll just have to remake it.
- Remake it?
Clyde, that's the answer!
- Good idea.
Helping your dad with his lasagna
might take your mind off your loss.
That's the second step of healing.
- No, I mean we'll remake the photos.
- Hmm.Denial.
That's actually a step backwards.
But I'm in!
- Guys, hallway meeting!
- Ho, ho, this better be good.
I was in the middle of my lunges.
- Oh, it's better than good.
Who wants to have a really fun day
re-creating some classic family photos?
- Uh, hard pass.
- Sorry, dude. We're all headed to the mall.
Big sale on studded chokers.
- And coffin linings.
- And dual-flush toilets.
- Dang it. We need a plan B.
♪
- Or do we need a...
plan C?
Get it? The C is for Clyde.
- I get it, and I like it.
But wait, do you really think you can play all my sisters?
- Pssh, my dads and I have been doing
Friday night scene study for years.
I once played all the orphans in "Annie."
Ever heard of it? Now get me my plunger!
- Wow, you have more layers than my dad's lasagna.
Okay, first shot-- me and Lynn in the tub.
And this time, we're not taking any chances.
I'm gonna use film and print hard copies.
- Whatever, nerd. Who uses film anymore?
Think fast! - Oof!
Clyde, what gives?
- Sorry, Lincoln. Just getting into character.
It's an actor thing.
- Okay, light's good.
Water's good.
Props are ready.
[camera timer whirring] Timer's set.
[water splashes]
[water bubbles]
- Submarine destroyer!
- Aw, man! You farted?
- It felt right, and I went with it.
[suspenseful music]
[pbbbt] [camera shutter snaps]
- Next up: Lori feeding me my first ice cream.
Chair is at optimal height.
Ice cream is mint chocolate chip.
Diaper is snug but not restrictive.
Clyde, I'm ready for you on set!
Clyde?
Pfft. Actors.
Ahhhgh! [thud]
- Sorry, I was just, uh...
doing some character work.
[rock music]
[smooching]
Sorry, Bobby. It's literally over.
I'm in love with Clyde.
[camera timer whirring]
Well, it worked, 'cause you look just like Lori.
- Really?
L-L-L-Lori?
[suspenseful music]
[groans]
- Next up: my first mechanical pony ride
with Lucy and Luan.
- I could have played both roles.
You didn't have to hire an amateur.
- Wassup, playas?
Lucy Loud is in the house!
- Rusty, a little acting tip.
Lucy would never say that.
- You just worry about your Lola.
- I'm Luan! Did you at all prepare for this?
- Guys, let's just get the shot.
[camera timer whirring]
[mechanical pony music playing]
[all scream]
[camera shutter snaps]
- Wow, that's really putting the cart before the horse!
[laughing]Get it?
[knocking]
- What is it, Loud?
- Hey, Mr. Grouse.
We're taking a photo
and we really need someone to play Santa.
- Hard pass.
- What if I can make it worth your while?
- [munching]
I'm not a fan of playing dress-up,
but I do love your dad's lasagna.
- Okay, I did not think you'd eat the whole tray,
but I'm sure we can find something else for dinner.
We're burning daylight,people.
Where's my elf? - One sec, Lincoln.
Just have to finish this train.
[crunch] Ow!
- Clyde, you stand here.
- [snoring]
[camera timer whirring]
Oof!
[belches]
[thud] - Ow!
[yelps]
[camera shutter snaps]
- Okay, Clyde, moment of truth.
Let's see how our first roll came out.
[dramatic music]
♪
both: These...are...
awesome!
- I'm not gonna lose my childhood memories after all!
- Whoo-hoo!
So what's our next scene?
- It's my seventh birthday.
- Great! Will it require an accent?
Do I need to gain weight?
- Thank you Clyde, but that won't be necessary.
- I also do my own stunts.
[yells]
[clang]
[upbeat music]
[both panting]
- So glad we still have this thing.
- Wish you still had the pump, though.
[gasps]
- Wait... my seventh birthday
didn't have a bounce house.
It was a lucha libre party.
- [whimpers]
- Come on, Clyde. We need to redress the set.
- I think I need to go lie down for a minute...
in Lori's bed.
- If I remember the photo right,
I was on the ground and Lynn was leaping on top of me.
- Cool, just give me a second
to get back into Lynn's character.
[grunts] Okay, good to go!
[camera timer whirring]
[Mexican hat dance playing]
Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle!
Aieeeeeee!
- [gasps] Wait a minute!
[thud] - Oof!
- It wasn't lucha libre.
It was circus-themed!
- I'll get my clown shoes.
[playful music]
- Wait, it wasn't a clown.
It was a lion tamer. - [yells]
[thud] Ooh!
- Out of my... [belches]
Yard!
♪
- Wait, it wasn't a lion tamer.
It was a contortionist.
[cat snarling]
No, it wasn't a contortionist.
It was a guy shot out of a cannon.
[thud]
[marching band music]
Hmm, wait a minute.
- Oh, no, are you changing your mind?
'Cause if you're changing your mind,
you should definitely get me out of
heeeeeeeere!
- What did we do at that party?
Sorry to put you through that, buddy.
- That's okay, Lincoln.
It was nothing compared to the roof tumble I took
during "Fiddler" last Friday Family Theater night.
- We got a problem, Clyde.
My memories are starting to slip away.
We need to get through the rest of these photos fast.
- No problem. Just let me get some new pants.
[fast-paced string music]
[camera timer whirring]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snaps]
♪
[camera shutter snapping]
[both breathing heavily]
sisters: Lincoln!
- What are you doing with all our stuff?
- [gasps] That tiara is never
supposed to touch the ground!
- Ladies, don't worry.
I'm going to put everything back
right after I develop this--
[fly buzzing]
[dramatic music]
Nooooooooo!
I can't believe I forgot to load the film.
[groans] [thud]
Potty, sandbox,
lion tamer, lasagna...
- Lincoln! Snap out of it!
You're babbling!
- Are you okay?
Clyde told us what you were trying to do.
- Then he caught a glimpse of Lori
and lost consciousness.
- L-L-L-L-- - Don't say her name so loud.
- We're really sorry you lost all your photos.
Do you want us to help you re-create them?
- Yeah, I shutter to think what you're going through.
[laughing] Get it?
- [sighs] Thanks anyway, guys,
but it's useless.
My childhood memories are already gone.
I can't even remember what happened
at my seventh birthday party.
- I can. You had a magician.
You literally freaked out about his rabbit.
- [screaming]
- [barking]
[splat] - Oof!
[laughter]
- I can't believe you remember that.
- Dudes, remember what happened
at Lincoln's sixth birthday party?
- [laughs] At the bowling alley?
I'll never forget that.
- [screaming] Oof!
[laughter]
- That was the only strike you ever got, lame-o!
- Do you guys remember that time
when Lincoln deleted all of his photos
off the computer?
[laughing]
- Uh, that was this morning.
- [laughs] I know! Remember?
- Yeah, what about the time
Lincoln got into Mom's cosmetics?
[playful music] - [babbles]
- Now, there's a story you couldn't makeup.
[siblings groan] - [laughs]
- And the time he spent all day on his bike
trying to catch the end of the rainbow?
- Or the time he wore his Blarney the Dinosaur costume
every day for a week.
- Ooh! How about how he got his chipped tooth?
[laughter]
- Turns out, I have nothing to worry about.
With all my sisters, it's like having
the Lincoln Library times ten.
I'm pretty sure whatever's happened in my life,
they'll help me remember it.
- How about that time Lincoln tried
to climb the shelves to get cookies?
[pants rip]
[laughter]
- That one, I'd rather forget.
[laughter]
- [laughs]
[rock music]
[camera snaps]
Perfect start to the new Lincoln Library.
Now with cloud backup.
- Who used all my lipstick?
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house