- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[funky music]
♪
[school bell rings] [boy grunting]
- Man, I hate dodge ball! Oof!
- Me too! - It's the worst.
- I'd rather milk an ornery cow!
- Chill, guys. Just like we practiced.
Snake formation!
So, we're all chilling at my place again today?
Left!
- Sure! Oh!
We can make another popcorn pizza!
- Right!
Sorry guys-- - Left!
- I can't make it. - Right!
- Lincoln, you haven't hung out with us all week!
- I know, I've just had this thing
to take care of. [whistle blows]
Have fun, guys! Catch ya later!
Hey! Girl Jordan! The whistle blew!
- You know, I'm worried about Lincoln.
It isn't like him to not want to hang out.
- [gasps] You think maybe an alien has taken over his body?
- That would explain the white hair.
- Guys, it's not an alien!
Lincoln and I have a signal for that if that happens.
- Well, something ain't right!
- We're Lincoln's friends, and we have to do something.
- Respect his privacy?
- No! We are totally going to spy on him
and find out what's going on!
Hey, Girl Jordan! The whistle blew!
- Ronnie Anne's old house?
This is where he's been coming every day?
- Doesn't he know she moved?
- I think I know what's going on here.
Lincoln's got a classic case of P.B.B.
- Peanut butter breath? - No.
- Pale boy bangs? - No.
- Polybrominated biphenyls? - No.
Lincoln has P.B.B., or Post Break-Up Blues.
The poor guy misses Ronnie Anne so much
that he's coming here every day to pine for her.
I learned all about it
in the pamphlets I collected in Dr. Lopez' waiting room.
- So, what do we do? Should we talk to him about it?
- No! The pamphlet says that will just send him
into a denial spiral.
The only way to reverse P.B.B. and get closure
is to distract him from thinking about Ronnie Anne
by using a three-step process called B.B.P.
The first B is for boys' night out!
- Oh! My memaw said I have to be home before dark!
- A boys' afternoon out sounds great, guys!
What brought this on?
- Your P.B.B. - My what?
- Er, your pale boy bangs!
They're so pretty, the world needs to see 'em!
- Come on, Lincoln!
First thing this boys' afternoon out needs
is some new threads.
My dad said he'd hook us up!
[disco-like music]
- Now, there's five happenin' cats.
You're gonna be fighting off the ladies with a stick!
- Aw, dang, I didn't bring my stick!
- Yeah, thanks! - These are great!
- Thanks again, Dad! - Now, you kids have fun.
Make sure to return the suits by tonight,
and don't get a single spot on 'em
or you'll be grounded for a month!
Have fun! - [gulp]
- Anybody else feel like havin' buffalo wings?
- And nachos! - Chili fries!
- Darn tootin'! - Uh, guys?
Careful, guys! Zach, napkin!
Lincoln, watch that sauce!
- It's working! He looks happy.
- These pamphlets have never steered me wrong.
[music playing] - Oooh-wee, I love this song!
- You know who else loves this song?
Ronnie Anne.
[dramatic chords]
- Oh, uh, I just remembered,
I hate this song! [song changes]
- Let me tell you guys about our dessert specials.
We've got the heart-shaped cookie,
the lovers' sundae for two,
and the tira-missyou. [giggles]
- Nobody wants desserts! Let's play some games!
- I wanted dessert.
- Let's play Dance, Dance, Revolution.
[harp chords play]
Never mind!
- Let's just watch some TV.
- Uh-oh! Those are Ronnie Anne's favorite tag-team wrestlers,
Payne and Suffering!
- Uh, this place is lame.
Who's up for a boys' day out music montage?!
[disco-like music]
♪
- This boys' day out has been a blast, you guys!
- That's great to hear, Lincoln. Would you say you feel
"a sense of closure and more optimistic about the future"?
- Um, that's pretty specific... but, yeah, I guess.
[beeping]
Whoops, sorry, guys!
I have to go take care of that thing again.
[running footsteps]
- Ugh! I can't believe it!
- So much for closure!
- He's back at Ronnie Anne's!
- Ooh-whee! He's got it bad for that gal!
- Don't worry. Minor setback.
The pamphlet says this can happen.
If the first B in B.B.P. doesn't work,
you just move onto the second B: Beautiful Ladies.
- That's my favorite B!
[car horn blasts]
Guys, protect the suits! Snake formation!!
[dramatic music]
Ha! You can't beat the Rust Man that easily!
[birds calling]
Noooooo!
Oh, man, what am I gonna tell my dad about those suits?
- Aww, don't you worry. You can get bird poop out.
It's donkey poop you gotta worry about.
- Here comes Lincoln.
We're all clear about what to do?
- Hey, guys! - Hey, buddy!
You took care of your... thing?
- Yep!
- Glad you could hang out some more!
- I declare, Zach,
isn't that your friend Renee over there
in yonder comic book store?
- You are right, Liam.
She is probably there
because she is a huge Ace Savvy fan.
- Hey, Lincoln, you're a huge Ace Savvy fan, too!
You should go talkto her!
- I don't--
It's so cool to meet someone
who loves Ace as much as I do.
- Same here!
- Whoa, is that the limited edition Christmas issue
with the variant cover?
- "Deck the Halls"? I've been looking for that forever.
- Me too.
both: It's the only copy.
- Give it! - It's mine!
- Looks like we're gonna need another beautiful lady.
[whack] And an ice pack.
Hey, Liam, isn't that your cousin, Hattie?
- Tar-nation!
I didn't see her horse parked outside.
Lincoln, you should set next to her.
She's a bigger sci-fi fan than you are!
- Ooooh! My, my, how do?
I'm Hattie.
- Shh!
- I'm Lincoln.
- You done seen this picture before?
Oooh! I love the part where the alien becomes human!
audience: Boo!
- Kind of a spoiler.
- That ain't nothing!
Turns out the whole thing's just a dream!
[audience groans, mutters] - She did not say that!
- Rusty, you must know some beautiful ladies.
- Well, you know--
- Yeah, you're always bragging about
what a ladies' man you are!
- It's tough on such short notice--
- Come, on man, it's for Lincoln!
- Uh...sure. I can make a call.
Ahh...here comes the lovely lady now.
- Hello, Rusty!
I'm very excited to meet this white-haired gentleman
you told me about.
- Rusty, who is that?!
- Uh, my piano teacher?
[dramatic musical sting]
Guys, give me a break!
I've been going through a bit of a dry spell.
- [sighs] What are we gonna do, guys?
Nothing seems to be working.
- Hi...yah!
- Wait a minute, guys! Maybe instead of
meeting someone who likes the same things as Lincoln,
he needs to meet someone
who likes the same things as Ronnie Anne.
- Wha-wha-wha!
[screams]
- Ooh, good thinking, man!
- You should write your own pamphlets, dawg!
- Well, I finally got all the hot buttered popcorn
out of my hair and-- Aah!
- Hey, we were thinking about doing some group karate.
- Uh, guys? I thought you said group.
- Oh, did you wantto spar?
- No, uh, that's--
- Uh... [whack, Lincoln yells]
I don't think beautiful ladies is doing the trick.
- Hi-yah! [wham]
- Well, in that case, it's time to move on
to the final letter of B.B.P.-- P for Paradise.
[thud] - Uhh!
- The pamphlet says
Tahiti and Hawaii are good options.
- Wha-wha-wha-wha! - Hmm...
Sounds a little out of our budget.
- "Hazeltucky Motel and Water Park."
- Yep! Three days in paradise! We even packed your bag.
- Uh, guys, I appreciate the thought,
but why are you doing this?
- Because, buddy, it's the only way to cure your P.B.B.!
- I have peanut butter breath, and no one told me?!
- No, Post-Breakup Blues.
We know Ronnie Anne broke your heart
when she moved away, and we're trying to
help you put the pieces back together.
- Yeah, we seen you standing outside her house,
lookin' like a cat who done lost his saucer!
- [laughs] Oh, man, that's what this is all about?
Guys, you got it all wrong. I don't miss Ronnie Anne.
- Here comes the denial spiral...
- No, seriously, I was only sitting
in front of her house because-- - All aboard!
[no sound]
- He'll thank us later.
- Yeah. I just hope he knows how lucky he is
to have friends like us.
[phone vibrates]
- Huh. Lincoln must've dropped his phone.
Ronnie Anne?! Ughh! Unbelievable!
She's still tormenting him? I'll handle this.
Hello, Ronnie Anne.
This is Clyde, Lincoln's best friend.
- I know who you are, Clyde. Where's Lincoln?
- You need to leave him alone!
- Yeah! He needs space to get over you!
- Get over me?
- Yeah, since you left, the poor guy's just been
standing in front of your old house every day.
- Yeah! Because I asked him to look out for a package
that was sent to me there.
- How's that now? all: Uh-oh.
- Did you guys do something stupid again?
- We have to stop that bus!
- Snake formation! It'll cut down wind resistance!
all: Aaaahhhh!
- I'm glad they caught you in time.
- Yeah, I've never seen Clyde run that fast.
He actually threw up.
- You must've been furious with them
for putting you through all of that.
- Nah, they were just trying to be good friends.
Besides, I think they're suffering enough right now.
- Man, this bird poop isn't coming out!
- Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe it's donkey poop that comes out easy
and it's that dang bird poop that you gotta worry about.
- Well, the good news is, your package finally arrived!
- Cool! Hey, could you open it for me?
I want to make sure it's not damaged.
- [laughing]
Oh, man. That cost me 25 bucks,
but it was so worth it.
Smell ya later, lame-o.
- Ugh! Ronnie Anne!
Ha. I guess the guys were right.
I really do miss her.
[dramatic, sweeping music]
♪
[coyote howls]
[thunder rumbles]
I so enjoy our nightly strolls, Fangs.
- [squeaking]
- Guys, this looks so good!
- We should literally be interior designers!
- Hey, guys. [all gasp]
Why are you painting the bathroom
my least favorite color? - Uh, duh!
We all voted on it at the sibling meeting, remember?
- So based on the leftover paint in the garage,
our options are: pink... [giggles]
or black. All in favor of pink?
- Aye! - [squeals]
Great! We all agree. Pink it is!
- Sigh. Well, I wasn't there.
But of course, as usual, no one noticed.
- Oh, come on! Exaggerate much?
- Whoops! Sorry, I didn't notice you!
- Oh, spirits, I summon thee--
- [shrieks] What?!
No! She did NOT!
- Oh, spirits, I summon thee--
- Aaaaahhh!
Okay! First we send in recon falcons
to assess the enemy's firepower!
- Grr!
Oh, spirits--
- Easy on starboard!
And stroke, stroke, stroke.
- Ugh!
[overlapping chatter]
- Guys, could you keep it down?
I'm trying to contact--
Oof!
- Last slice of pie. Who wants it?
- [shrieking] Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
- Um, I raised my hand--
- I can't believe no one else wanted this!
- Sigh.
- 'Scuse me! [overlapping chatter]
- I call left armrest.
- Next, on "Vampires of Melancholia"...
- Griselda, I know you're only seeing that werewolf
to make me jealous--
[buzzer sound] - Ehh!
- Next, on "The Audition"...
- Hey! I had the remote first.
- Sorry, dude, we also voted on tonight's TV show
at the sibling meeting!
- Grr!
Will someone please hand me my poetry journal?
I have some very strong feelings to express.
- Oops, clumsy me.
- Aaarrrhhh!
- Did anyone hear something?
- [groans] Edwin, no matter what I do,
my siblings walk all over me.
At least when things get bad, I can go to my secret dark place
which...they've filled with their junk.
Typical.
Sigh.
[grunting]
Oh, look!
This trunk belonged to Great-Grandma Harriet.
She was a pretty cool lady.
See?
Ooh. What's this?
[inhales, blows]
"Ancient Book of Spells."
Whoa!
Hmm...if I can't get through to my siblings,
maybe a little magic will.
- It's like, Carol gets eyelash extensions
and suddenly she's too good for us?
I know. I know!
- So you like disrupting my séances
with your inane phone calls?
"Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Cease this endless dialogue."
- Whitney? Whitney? Hello?
What?! No! This can't be happening!
♪
- So you like putting your muddy butt on my favorite seat?
"Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
Bring vengeance with an itchy sting."
- [yelps]
[whimpering]
- [humming]
- So you can't help spilling your chemicals on my stuff?
"Gall of goat, slips of yew.
Turn clumsy fingers into glue."
- Oopsie!
Hmm. That's atypical.
- [laughs] [crash]
- Of course, now I have to tinkle.
- Okay, guys, now that I've taken care of
my disruptive siblings, let's try this again.
Ohhhhh, spirit of Goldie,
our late family fish,
who really flushed you?
- Guys, I'm glad I can't use my phone,
because this conversation
literally had to happen in person!
[all giggling, chattering]
- Oh, man, Edwin's fangs really dig into the itch!
- Give him to me! Give that to me now!
Aaaah!
- Oh, great.
And I just got the toilet seat off my butt.
- I don't know what to do, Great-Grandma.
Even when I use the spells, nothing changes around here.
It's so frustrating!
Gasp! This spell is too perfect!
It has to work!
Thanks for giving me a sign.
Though next time, a simple flickering light will do.
Mmmmm.
Mmmm...
- Hey, Luce!
- Hey, what?
- Come on! Time to visit Pop Pop!
- We voted on where to sit in Vanzilla,
and you got the soggy seat.
- You guys go without me.
I'm in the middle of something important.
Hmm. We'll see who sits in the soggy seat from now on.
Round about the bedrooms go,
on their pillows, spell dust throw,
by sunrise they will have no choice
but to listen to my voice.
Night, night, Great-Grandma Harriet.
Yawn!
Ugh! Lynn!
This spell cannot work fast enough.
- Hey, guys.
[no sound]
Yes!
Now everything is gonna change around here.
Next item of business: repainting the bathroom.
All opposed to black say "nay".
[silence]
No one? Black it is!
[light music]
Num, num, num!
I can't believe no one else wanted this!
[owl hoots]
- Griselda, you're back.
I see you've come to your senses.
- No, I just found out I'm allergic to wolf hair.
- Thank you, Great-Grandma Harriet!
Today was awesome, and it's all thanks to your book of spells.
- Lynn, what's wrong?!
Oh, now, c'mon kiddo-- Whoa!
Your crew meet can't have gone that badly!
[no sound]
- Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
- They literally kicked you off the team?
That is not fair!
[grunting]
- Lincoln, you got one of your friends killed?
- Commander Loud, what's our move?
[no sound]
You want us to... frost a birthday cake?
- I think he wants us to attack.
I'm just going to attack.
Rusty Spokes!
- Rusty, no!
- Uh-oh. - It's an ambush!
Oh, the horror!
- Lori, honey,
I'm sure it's not the end of the world.
- What's with the silent treatment, Lori?
Do you think you're better than us?
Uch! Whatever. Friendship. Over.
- No worries! You can always hang out with your old mom.
You can join my book club!
[somber music]
- I messed up, Great-Grandma Harriet.
I didn't mean to ruin everyone's life.
I just hope there's a way to undo the spell.
Gasp! "To put a spell back on the shelf,
transfer the effects on to yourself."
Whoa.
Okay, don't worry guys, I didn't call this meeting
to force any more resolutions on you.
I just want to make a confession.
I was getting really fed up
with the way you guys walk all over me, so...
I cast a spell to take away your voices.
I'm really sorry, but don't worry,
I can fix it by transferring the spell to myself.
Yes, I'll never speak again, but I guess I deserve it for--
[no sound]
Why are you laughing?
You...want me to frost a birthday cake?
I didn't take away your voices?
Then how come you can't talk?
- Whoo! - Go, Pop Pop!
[overlapping shouting]
[whooping, cheering]
[chanting] Pop Pop, Pop Pop!
Pop Pop! - You lost your voices
at Pop Pop's shuffleboard match?
But what about my other spells?
Lori, I killed your phone.
Oh. So the battery just died.
But Lana, what about my spell to make your butt itch?
You rolled around in poison ivy again?
[arf!]
Well, what about you, Lisa?
Didn't my spell make your fingers sticky?
I...don't understand any of that.
[click] - Day 1,482 in the lab:
Accidentally spilled new formula,
but turns out to be excellent adhesive.
Apply for patent immediately.
- Okay, well, I'm still sorry for casting those spells,
even if they didn't work.
I should have made more of an effort
to tell you guys how I felt.
- Uh...okay. Thanks, Leni.
What? Oh! My show's on?
You guys want to watch it too?
That's awesome. I'll be right down.
I just have to take care of one thing.
[upbeat music]
Well, Great-Grandma Harriet, I guess this book of spells
didn't work after all. But that's okay,
because I got a pretty magical result all the same.
[eerie music] [thunder rumbles]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house